Lea Luz Marie D.

Tan Pastor Rel 61- J Decisions, Decisions This is a story in my life that nobody else knows except my immediate family. It is not something that I am proud of and it is the one thing that has always lingered on my mind. I can never forget the guilt and shame that I felt on that very day. From then on I never trusted anyone ever again. I was a grade 6 pupil and very neglected. Neglected in the sense that my parents often forget that I exist, and its as if I dont have brothers or sisters. Only the existence of my grandparents gave me an identity. My father is a drunkard, my brother is a drug user, my sister is studying nursing, I am in grade school and my younger brother is in Kindergarten. I am 3rd of four siblings. I did not exist. I was constantly with my grandparents and seldom with my parents and siblings. I was constantly in the companion of helpers. One day, our new helper brought me to Steds convenience store and showed me techniques on how to shop lift without being caught. I was very impressed but shocked at the same time. She did this over and over again in different stores and I gained confidence through her. Since I was an impressionable teenager, I accepted her challenge to shoplift chocolates. The first attempt was successful. After that, it became a habit for me to steal food, or cologne or anything for that matter. One day, we went to the same store and got chocolates. The salesman followed us as we went out of the store and grabbed our arm. He told his fellow salesman to search our pockets. From our pockets were chocolates (imported)---- we had deep pockets then. The manager then called the police and we were brought to the police department. The owner wanted the incident to be blattered. I was not detained since I was still 12 years old. The owner had me pay for the worth of chocolates found in our pockets. My father was called and it was very shameful. After that incident, if anything got lost, my relatives would look at me and assume that I stole it. They lost their trust in me. I was stigmatized as a stealer when all I ever wanted was to be noticed and appreciated. I realized

that it was my desire to be noticed that drove me to do such a deplorable act. It made me examine myself more closely and opened my eyes to what I have become.

Evaluation: This incident was a turning point in my life. I should have known better. Now that I am aware of the different approaches, I learned that I should have observed the rule of law on shoplifting. Had I not been a minor, I would have been detained in prison. I was ashamed because I was a catechist and I committed a crime not only in the eyes of other people, but more importantly in the eyes of God. What I did did not benefit other people. I placed my family to shame. I was being selfish and was thinking only of myself. In the end, my actions resulted to me being noticed by my family, but in a bad light. The ends did not justify the means. Today, as I make decisions, I examine my choices carefully and if it seems like there is no choice, I choose the lesser of the two evils. I know for a fact that all decisions must be taken into consideration before they are being made; which is why now, I decide based on my conscience and based on Gods will. Everything happens for a reason and all things work together for good. Therefore, this experience made me true to myself and made me careful in making decisions. Decisions, decisions.