W E LL - B E I N G
fore-feet being tied
Choose to say no
M
any of us would have at
some time or the other read
or listened to the story of a
man, his son and their donkey. A man
and his son were once going with
their donkey to the market. As they
were walking, a countryman passed
them and said: “You fools, what is a
donkey for, but to ride upon?” So the
man put the boy on the donkey and
they went on their way. But soon they
passed a group of men, one of whom
said: “See that lazy youngster; he lets
his father walk while he rides.” So the
man ordered his boy to get off, and
got on himself. But they hadn’t gone
far when they passed two women, one
of whom said to the other: “Shame on
that lazy lout to let his poor little son
trudge along.” Well, the man didn’t
know what to do, but at last he asked
his son to sit with him on the donkey.
By this time they had come to the
town, and the passers-by began to jeer
and point at them. The man stopped
 Don bosco march 2009
“Every time you say
yes to something that
is unimportant, you say
no to something that is
important.”
- Robin Sharma
and asked what they were scoffing at.
The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed
of yourself for overloading that poor
donkey with you and your hulk-
ing son?” The man and boy got off
and tried to think what to do. They
thought and they thought, till at last
they cut down a pole, tied the don-
key’s feet to it, and raised the pole
and the donkey to their shoulders.
They went along amid the laughter
of all who met them till they came
to Market Bridge, when the donkey,
getting one of his feet loose, kicked
out and caused the boy to drop his
end of the pole. In the struggle the
donkey fell over the bridge, and his
together he was
drowned. “That
will teach you,” said
an old man who had
followed them:
“Please all, and you
will please none.”
This story teaches us that there are
times when we should choose to
say “No!”
We have been regularly writing in
this wellbeing series that life is all
about choices we consciously make
and one of the important choices is
to say “Yes” or “No”. The story of
the man, boy and their donkey makes
us understand that they could have
said “No” to the negative or thought-
less remarks made by people who
did not really matter. They trusted all
that was said without personal criti-
cal thinking. It is important to learn
to say “No” when needed.
Jesus was in the desert for forty days
and forty nights to prepare himself
with prayer and fasting for his min-
istry. He was tempted by the evil
one to go beyond his Father’s love
and act like God. He was tempted to
make use of his powers to satisfy his
own hunger, his own choice to fast
for the Kingdom and use his divine
power for a display of spectacular
events to satisfy the greed and super-
ficial needs of onlookers. Jesus says
an emphatic “NO!” He was ready to
follow the path of love and sacrifice.
We also see how the Pharisees de-
manded a heavenly sign (a miracle)
from Jesus and He said, “Truly, I say
to you, no sign shall be given to this
people.” Jesus teaches us to say “no”
when needed.
First, we have to learn to say “no” to
ourselves. There is a strange sickness
called Akrasia (or acrasia - an ancient
Greek word κρασία). It is the state of
acting against one’s better judgment.

The condition in which while knowing
what it would be best to do, one does
something else. In other words we are
not able to say ‘no’ to ourselves. For
example, I know I have to reduce my
weight and yet I overeat and often
eat junk food. I am killing myself. I
have to learn to say no to my body.
If you don’t want to live in debt and
misery you have to learn to say ‘no’
to the latest I-phone or other funky
gadgets which many of your friends
may be possessing. If you want to
succeed in life you have to learn to
say ‘no’ to laziness, late rising or just
spending a lot of time relaxing. If you
want your marriage to last you have
to learn to say no to certain words
you feel like using in a moment of
anger. If you have to succeed in your
exams you have to learn to say ‘no’
to the exciting cricket match being
telecasted on television.
Robin Sharma, the author of a
bestseller, ‘The monk who sold his
Ferrari’, says, “Every time you say
yes to something that is unimportant,
you say no to something that is
important.” We have to become good
in saying ‘no’. It is not just saying no
for everything in life. The secret lies
in living a conscious life and setting
priorities. It is important to set value
based priorities. We say ‘yes’ or ‘no’
based on these value based priorities.
I have a friend who can never say no
to anyone who comes to his office. He
takes upon himself all the work thrust
on him by others (because of their
own laziness or lack of creativity).
He tries to please everyone and in the
end his own life priorities go haywire.
At a certain point of time he was not
able to do the most important things
in life.
If a friend of yours invites you for
a late evening get-together and it
is also your son’s birthday party at
home, you have to say a firm ‘no’ to
your friends. This is the meaning of
working with value based priorities.
There is no choice really if you have
to choose between a thrilling movie
and going to Church for mass on a
Sunday. We have to learn to say no
to groups that just gather together to
gossip or to spread negativity and
cynicism. We have to say no when
people deliberately spoil the names
of other people. There is a beautiful
story attributed to Socrates, entitled
‘the Triple Filter Test’.
One day a man met Socrates, the
great philosopher and said, “Do you
know what I just heard about one of
your friends?” “Hold on a minute,”
Socrates replied. “Before telling me
anything, I’d like you to pass a little
test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?” asked the man. “That’s
right,” Socrates continued.
“Before you talk to me about my
friend, it might be a good idea to take
a moment and filter what you’re going
to say. That’s why I call it the triple
filter test. The first filter is Truth. Are
you absolutely sure that what you are
about to tell me is true?” “No,” the
man said, “actually I just heard about
it and wanted to tell it to you” “All
right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t
Don bosco march 2009
W E LL - B E I N G
really know if it’s true or not. Now
let’s try the second filter, the filter
of goodness. Is what you are about
to tell me about my friend some-
thing good?” “No, on the contrary, it
is bad.”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want
to tell me something bad about him,
but you’re not certain it’s true. You
may still pass the test though, because
there’s one filter left: the filter of use-
fulness. Is what you want to tell me
about my friend going to be useful
to me?” “No, not really.” replied the
man. “Well,” concluded. Socrates, if
what you want to tell me is neither
true, nor good, and not even useful to
me, why tell it to me at all.”
Socrates had a wonderful way of say-
ing ‘no’. This is an important value
we have to teach our young people.
Youth are easily influenced by the
media and by the peer group. History
is replete with incidents that speak
of how young minds have been so
strongly influenced by other young
minds. Many young people do not
have the power to say “No”. The invi-
tation to smoke or consume alcohol,
to try drugs just for fun, to cut classes
and go for movies on a regular basis
and to try out experiences that leave
traumatic imprints on their mind, are
everyday happenings. We have to
help young people set their priori-
ties and dreams and do some critical
thinking regarding media and peer
group. It is the age when a person
can be easily led astray. Parents and
teachers have the important duty of
helping young people to discern and
to live a conscious, value based life.
The gospels are full of positive events
and sayings of Christ, we can call
them the ‘yes’ aspects but there are
times when Jesus said a firm ‘no’. We
can also pattern our life in keeping
with the Gospel values.
Joe Andrew sdb
joeandrewsdb@hotmail.com

 W E LL - B E I N G
W
e are created for happiness
and peace. But as life evolves
and as we progress, our
problems also increase and so do our
worries. Wellbeing calls for choices. We
can consciously choose to live a positive
life or go after a negative life.
One of the choices we can easily make is
to live ordinary events in an extraordinary
way. We have the freedom to experiment
and to experience newness. Modern day
life in a certain way chains us to habits,
strict timeframes and monotonous living.
We become automated beings. This
results in boredom and we run the risk of
losing the meaning of our existence.
One of the outcomes of a positive life is
to break free and to break the monotony
of daily life and do something we normally
never do or think of doing. This positive
Let’s Run
Through the Rain
12
habit can help us to have fun, break the
routine, help us to smile and this in turn
becomes a happy memory. Memories of
happy moments have an important role
to play in our lives. They reconstruct our
lives and they have the power to inject
fresh energy and enthusiasm when we
are bored or tired of living. I would like
to share with you this story forwarded to
me via e-mail.
A little girl had been shopping with her
mom in Target. She was 6 years old,
beautiful red haired, freckle faced image
of innocence. It was raining outside. The
kind of rain that gushes over the top of
rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit
the earth. People stood there under the
awning and just inside the door of the
Target. Everyone waited, some patiently,
others irritated because nature messed
up their hurried day.
Don bosco june 2008
Some were mesmer-
ized by the rainfall.
They got lost in the
sound and sight of
the heavens wash-
ing away the dirt and
dust of the world.
Memories of running,
splashing as carefree as a child, came
as a welcome reprieve from the worries
of everyday.
The little voice was sweet as it broke
the hypnotic trance they were all caught
in, “Mom let’s run through the rain,”
she said.
“What?” mom exclaimed. “Let’s run
through the rain!” she repeated.
“No, honey. We’ll wait until it slows down
a bit,” mom replied.
This young child waited about another
minute and repeated: “Mom, let’s run
through the rain!”
“We’ll get soaked if we do,” mom said.
“No, we won’t, mom. That’s not what
you said this morning,” the young girl
said as she tugged at her mom’s arm.
“This morning? When did I say we could
run through the rain and not get wet?”
“‘Don’t you remember? When you were
talking to Daddy about his cancer, you
said, ‘If God can get us through this, he
can get us through anything’!”
The entire crowd stopped dead silent.
There was complete silence except for
the sound of the rain. No one came or
left in the next few minutes. The little
girl’s mother paused and thought for a
moment about what she would say. Now
some would laugh it off and scold her
for being silly. Some might even ignore
what was said. But this was a moment of
affirmation in a young child’s life. A time
when innocent trust can be nurtured so
that it will bloom into faith. “Honey, you
are absolutely right. Let’s run through
the rain. If God wants, let’s get wet, well
maybe we just needed washing,” she
said. Then off they ran.

We do the same things
day after day and week
after week. We have to
plan to break free and
find time to do what is
different, just funny or
the unthinkable.
The rest of them stood watching, smiling
and laughing as they darted past the cars
and yes, through the puddles. They held
their shopping bags over their heads just
in case. They got soaked. But they were
followed by a few who screamed and
laughed like children all the way to their
cars. They all needed some washing.
Today more than ever, we tend to live life
like clocks or computers. This obviously
results in monotony and boredom. The
type of jobs or responsibilities that
people have force them to live in ways
that are akin to the ticking of a clock.
We do the same things day after day
and week after week. We have to plan
to break free and find time to do what is
different, just funny or the unthinkable.
God shows us the way. He could have
lived his solitude in heaven. But He broke
the silence, the solitude. He became one
like us. He walked and talked with us. He
smiled and He wept. Can one think of a
greater adventure than this? Remember
the movie “City of Angels’ with Nicholas
Cage and Meg Ryan? Seth, an angel
watching over Los Angeles, begins
finding his job difficult as he falls in love
with Maggie, a beautiful heart surgeon.
This makes Seth want to become human
so he can feel, smell, and love Maggie.
It is a touching story of an angel who
wanted to do something very different.
Jesus was one day preaching in the
Province of Judea, beyond the Jordan
River and at a certain point He sits down
to take some rest. The mothers from
the surrounding villages begin to bring
their children to Him. The disciples (let
us keep in mind a culture two thousand
years ago that did not greatly respect
women and children) in order to allow
Jesus to rest tried their best to send
them away. The gospels say that Jesus
on noticing this, was very angry. Jesus
then took the children in his arms and
blessed them. This is one of the most
beautiful scenes in the gospels. Jesus,
God incarnate, finds time to play with
children. Jesus often found time to dine
with tax collectors and sinners. This often
turned out to be a moment of conversion
for them.
It is good to stroke a cat if you have never
done it before. If you always take your
car to your place of work take the bus for
a change. You will also get to know how
much people suffer. How about sleeping
on the terrace one night and do some
star gazing before you sleep. You could
talk to a poor person or an elderly person
if you have never found the time to do it
before. You could play with children. You
could go for a walk in the forest or climb
a mountain. You could do some manual
work for a change. Gardening could be
We have to take time
off to create beautiful
memories. A few years
later we will think of the
walk with our child on the
beach running after sea
crabs as they jump into
the holes they have made.
The picnics we enjoyed,
the fun we had together
as a family, the train
journeys, the walk in the
park, the pranks
and wild fun.
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W E LL - B E I N G
an inspiring and interesting, hobby. If
you have never tried cooking, you could
try cooking something different. You
could try to live without the television for
one day.
We have to take time off to create
beautiful memories. A few years later
we will think of the walk with our child
on the beach running after sea crabs as
they jump into the holes they have made.
We could think of the beautiful walk with
the ones very close to us. The picnics
we enjoyed, the fun we had together as a
family, the train journeys, the walk in the
park, the pranks and wild fun.
There are families that have very
interesting family rituals. I was with an
Italian family on April 22, Earth Day. On
that day they did not use their electric
lights or television. They were using
candles. There are others who often use
the cycle in order to keep our mother
earth a little less polluted. There is a
family that distributes bread and curry
to the poor of the neighbourhood on
Friday evenings. There are families that
clean the cemetery before All Souls day
(not just the tomb of their dear ones).
I just heard of a young man who gave
away his sandals to a poor boy who was
selling some simple things at the road
signal under the hot sun. A friend of
mine did not want gifts for her wedding
but asked the guests to bring cash for the
poor children in India and Madagascar.
The list is endless.
Circumstances or people can take away
our material possessions, they can take
away our money, and they can take away
our health. But no one can ever take away
our precious memories. So, don’t forget
to make time and take the opportunities
to make memories everyday. To
everything there is a season and a time
to every purpose under heaven. Take
the time to live! Keep in touch with your
friends, you never know when you’ll need
them. I hope you will take the time to run
through the rain.
Joe Andrew sdb
joeandrewsdb@hotmail.com
13
 W E LL - B E I N G
O
ne of the most important and
realistic truths about living is
that there is no life without pain,
suffering, loss, struggle and sacrifice.
Once we understand and accept this
important truth about life, we can reduce
a lot of stress and discouragement in our
day to day life. The dictionary defines
discouragement as follows; “a feeling
of despair in the face of obstacles; or a
state of distraught and loss of sense of
enthusiasm, drive or courage.” When
we accept the fact that life is a package
of joys and sorrows, high points and
low, success and disappointment,
ecstasy and pain, we learn to overcome
discouragement and a feeling of despair
Drive your blues away
“You have a choice of what you’re going to focus on: either your
purpose or your problems, God’s power or your weakness, Christ
or your circumstances. It’s your choice.”
or desolation; or in the words of popular
musicians ‘drive away or sing away or
rock away our blues’.
Momentary bouts of discouragement
and despair are natural since life has its
share of struggle and pain. But wellbeing
calls for the acceptance of this fact and
hence to make the choice of fighting
discouragement.
As I have often repeated in these
wellbeing articles - life is all about choices
and one of the choices we have to make
is to fight discouragement. It could
become a way of life if we are not careful.
This momentary feeling can become our
attitude. Discouragement could become
our choice.
Rick Warren says: “If you’re discouraged,
that’s your choice. You have chosen
to be discouraged. Discouragement is
always a choice. It comes from thinking
discouraging thoughts-and you can
change your thoughts any time. You have
a choice of what you’re going to focus on:
12
either your purpose or your problems,
God’s power or your weakness, Christ
or your circumstances. It’s your choice.”
I am sure that most of you would have
read the inspiring story of the farmer’s
donkey. One day a farmer’s donkey fell
into a well. The animal cried miserably
for hours as the farmer tried to figure out
what to do. He consulted the people of
his village and finally they decided that
the animal was old and it could die in
the process of being saved. At the same
time they could not leave the animal
to die slowly. They decided that mercy
killing was the only solution and the well
needed to be covered up anyway. They
all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel
Today he is hailed as
a great economist,
lawyer, educationist,
politician, champion
of human rights and
emancipator of millions
of downtrodden
people. Imagine the
fate of India if he had
become a victim of
discouragement and
despair.
Don bosco july 2008
dirt and mud into the
well to bury the animal
alive. At first, the
donkey realized what
was happening and
cried horribly.
Then, to everyone’s
amazement, he became quiet. A few
shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked
into the well and was astonished to see a
miracle taking place. With every shovel of
dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing
something astonishing. He would shake it
off and take a step up. As the farmer’s
neighbours continued to shovel dirt on
top of the animal, he would shake it off
and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone
was amazed as the donkey stepped up
over the edge of the well and trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all
kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of
the well is to shake it off and take a step
up. Each of our troubles is a stepping-
stone. We can get out of the deepest

wells just by not stopping, never giving
up! Shake it off and take a step up!
There are stories of so many great leaders
that teach us the importance of not
falling into the trap of discouragement.
Life beckons us to face challenges. Dr
Ambedkar’s childhood dream to go to
school was shattered when his teacher
asked him to sit outside the classroom.
He had to carry a gunny sack everyday to
sit outside since he was from a low caste.
Untouchable children were segregated
and given no attention or assistance from
the teachers. They were not allowed to
sit inside the class. Even if they needed
to drink water somebody from a higher
caste would have to pour that water
from a height as they were not allowed
to touch either the water or the vessel
that contained it. This task was usually
performed for the young Ambedkar by
the school peon, and if he could not be
found Ambedkar went without water. All
this did not deter Ambedkar. He proved
to the world that untouchability is a
figment of the mind. He later went to the
United States to complete his Ph. D.
Upon India’s independence on August
15, 1947, the new Congress-led
government invited Ambedkar to serve as
the nation’s first law minister. On August
29, Ambedkar was appointed chairman
of the Constitution Drafting Committee
and given the task of drafting free India’s
new Constitution. He bravely fought
against great odds and became one of
the founding fathers of our country, the
backbone of our Constitutions. Today he
is hailed as a great economist, lawyer,
educationist, politician, champion of
human rights and emancipator of millions
of downtrodden people. Imagine the fate
of India if he had become a victim of
discouragement and despair.
It is said that Albert Einstein could not speak
until he was four years old and did not read
until he was seven. His parents and teachers
worried about his mental ability.
Beethoven’s music teacher said about
him, “As a composer he is hopeless.”
What if young Ludwig had been
discouraged by this teacher?
When Thomas Edison was a young boy,
his teachers said he was so stupid he
could never learn anything. He once said,
“I remember I used to never be able to
get along at school. I was al¬ways at
the foot of my class...my father thought
I was stupid, and I almost decided that
I was a dunce.” What if young Thomas
had been discouraged by his teachers?
A newspaper editor once fired Walt
Disney because he was thought to have
no “good ideas.” Caruso was told by one
music teacher, “You can’t sing. You have
no voice at all.”
What if these people had listened and
become discouraged? Where would our
world be without the music of Beethoven,
or the ideas of Ambedkar, Albert Einstein
and Thomas Edison? As Oscar Levant has
accurately said, “It’s not what you are,
it’s what you don’t become that hurts.”
Jesus worked miracles, cured the sick,
gave people bread, forgave sinners, was
close to people and yet at the end of it
all, He was crucified on a cross. It may
seem paradoxical but the truth is that
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W E LL - B E I N G
his death on the cross
became the greatest
sign of love and hope
for mankind. Jesus
must have been very
discouraged when
the people he had
so lovingly served
had turned against
him. But he took up
his cross as a sign
that He still loved
them. The cross
became a sign of
faith, compassion
and victory. He
chose to fight
discouragement
and taught us
the meaning of
love and suffering.
Helen Keller wisely
said, “The struggle of
life is one of our greatest blessings. It
makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike.
It teaches us that although the world
is full of suffering, it is also full of the
overcoming of it.”
When Paul was in prison, he wrote to
the Philippian Christians, “But I want you
to know, brethren, that the things which
happened to me have actually turned
out for the furtherance of the gospel.”
(Phil. 1:12). While most of us would have
focused on the “defeat” (being in prison
even though he was innocent), Paul was
able to see what God was doing in his life.
A man once told a sad looking passerby
“I love the look of spring skies.” The
sad person looked up and saw a lot of
clouds. It was a cloudy day and he said,
“It is far from spring, my friend. Summer
is nearing the end and we still have winter
ahead.” “Oh, I understand,” the other
man replied and he continued, “I hope
one day you’ll see spring in everything.”
And he walked away with a smile. I
hope all of us will be able to see spring
in everything.
Joe Andrew sdb
joeandrewsdb@hotmail.com
13
 W E LL - B E I N G
T
he following incident is reported
to have taken place on a
British Airways flight between
Johannesburg (South Africa) and
London.
A white woman, about 50 years old,
was seated next to a native African.
Very disturbed by this, she called the
air hostess. “You obviously do not see
it then?” she asked. “You placed me next
to a black man. I did not agree to sit
next to someone from such a repugnant
group. Give me an alternative seat.” “Be
calm please,” the hostess replied.
Humility-the forgotten virtue
“Almost all the places on this flight are
taken. I will go to see if another place is
available.”
The hostess went away and then came
back a few minutes later. “Madam, just as I
thought, there are no other available seats
in Economy Class. I spoke to the captain
and he informed me that there is also no
seat in Business Class. All the same, we
12
still have one place in the First Class.”
Before the woman could say anything,
the hostess continued. “It is unusual
for our company to permit someone
from Economy Class to sit in First Class.
However, given the circumstances, the
captain feels that it would be scandalous
to make someone sit next to someone
so disgusting.” She turned to the African
and said, “Therefore, Sir, if you would
like to, please collect your hand luggage,
a seat awaits you in the First Class.”
At that moment, the other passengers,
who had been shocked by what they had
Humility is actually
founded on inner
strength. Once I am
confident of my
self worth, I am
not afraid of being
humble.
Don bosco SEPTEMBER 2008
just witnessed, stood
up and applauded the
crew of the aircraft.
The moral of the story
is that arrogance does
not always put you on
a pedestal and that
humility and respect for
others is still a value that is cherished.
We are living in a society that encourages
raw competition, unbridled consumerism
and a craving for material possessions. A
natural outcome of this phenomenon is
arrogance, aggressiveness and the need
to push forward our external selves. We
have to win at the cost of the failure
and fear of others. The overemphasis
on personal fulfillment, self-confidence
and self glory by psychologists and
new age gurus could lead to selfishness
and pride. The famous novel ‘The
Fountainhead’ by Ayn Rand (1943), for
example, spoke of extreme positivism or
Objectivism – ‘each person is expected
to think primarily about himself and to
live primarily for himself. The needs of
the individual can never be sacrificed to
the needs of the group.’
In our wellbeing articles we have spoken
of self acceptance and self confidence
but it has to be founded on humility.
True self-acceptance is based on love and
humility and we can call this love for self.
Selfishness instead, is based on pride and
a disregard for others. Love for self begins
with the humble acceptance that all that
I have (talents, looks, achievements etc.)
is a gift from above. This enables me to
be grateful and to look at others with
compassion and love.
Jesus is humility personified. He was God
but he took the form of a human being
and was born in poverty in a stable. He
died a shameful death on the cross to
save humanity from their sins. This is

humility. If God himself humbled himself
how much more should we humble
ourselves? He said to his disciples:
“Learn from me, for I am meek and
humble of heart; and you will find rest
for your souls.” (Mt. 11: 29). Humility is
the foundation for a life of holiness and
sanctity. It makes one understand that
God is in control and that we are only
his humble, but worthy instruments. It
is said that as the ant and the elephant
walked across the hanging bridge, the ant
remarked to the elephant, “Boy, don’t we
make this bridge shake!” It is God who
is at the centre of the universe. In the
words of Bernard Baily, “When science
discovers the center of the universe, a
lot of people will be disappointed to find
they are not it.”
Christian Herter was the governor of
Massachusetts in the 1950’s and once
when he was campaigning, he came
across someone whom he was about
to ignore, but found himself having
to notice. Apparently, he was having a
really hard day campaigning, missed his
lunch and came in the late afternoon to
a church barbeque, really hungry. As he
moved down the serving line, the story
goes, he held out his plate to the woman
serving chicken. She put a piece on his
plate and turned to the next person in line.
“Excuse me,” the governor said. “Do you
mind if I have another piece of chicken?”
“Sorry,” the woman told him. “I’m
supposed to give one piece of chicken
to each person.” “But I’m starved,”
the governor said. “Sorry,” the woman
said again, “Only one to a customer.”
Governor Herter was apparently a
modest and unassuming man but he
decided this time he would throw a
little weight around. “Do you know who
I am?” he said to this woman. “I’m the
governor of the state.” “Do you know
who I am?” the woman replied. “I’m the
lady in charge of the chicken. Move along
mister,” she said.
Humility is the defining characteristic
of an unpretentious person, one who is
modest and is not arrogant or aggressive.
Humility is often mistaken for timidity or
subservience or lack of assertiveness.
Humility is actually founded on inner
strength. Once I am confident of my self
worth I am not afraid of being humble.
The more a person grows in greatness
and wisdom, the humbler he or she
becomes. It is said that it is often the
neo-rich who flaunt their wealth in a very
vulgar manner. David Packard, the co-
founder of Hewlett-Packard is quoted
as saying: “You shouldn’t gloat about
anything you’ve done; you ought to keep
going and find something better to do.”
Another great leader is Patrick Daniel,
CEO of North American energy and
pipeline company Enbridge, espouses
two leadership attributes: determination to
create results and humility, “I have learned
through the lives of great leaders,” he
said, “that greatness comes from humility
and being at times, self-effacing.”
Friendships and marriages often dissolve
and come to nothing due to the lack of
humility. A little humility can often solve
a number of problems in our families and
places of work. It is the lack of humility
that does not allow real dialogue to take
place. The very word dialogue means
that we come open to the truth and not
come with fixed ideas. True humility
makes us make statements like: “You are
right!” or “This is something I can learn
from you.” Humility helps us to apologize.
Arrogance is “I” centered and humility
Don bosco SEPTEMBER 2008
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is “we” centered. A famous evangelist
decided to write a book on “Humility” and
unfortunately its publication was delayed
because the printer ran out of capital I’s!
In the days when an ice cream sundae
cost much less, a 10 year old boy
entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at
a table. A waitress put a glass of water
in front of him. “How much is an ice
cream sundae?” “Fifty cents,” replied the
waitress. The little boy pulled his hand
out of his pocket and studied the number
of coins in it. “How much is a dish of
plain ice cream?” he inquired. Some
people were now waiting for a table and
the waitress was a bit impatient. “Thirty-
five cents,” she said brusquely – a little
arrogant. The little boy again counted the
coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he
said. The waitress brought the ice cream,
put the bill on the table and walked away
without a smile. The boy finished the ice
cream, paid the cashier and departed.
When the waitress came back, she
began wiping down the table and then
swallowed hard at what she saw. There,
placed neatly beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies - her
tip. No wonder Jesus one day took a child
in his hands and looked at his followers
and said: “Unless you become like little
Joe Andrew sdb
joeandrewsdb@hotmail.com
13
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I
n Phoenix, Arizona a young mother
stared down at her 6 year old son,
who was dying of terminal leukaemia.
Although her heart was filled with
sadness, she also had a strong feeling
of determination. Like any parent, she
wanted her son to grow and fulfill all
his dreams but now that was no longer
possible. And seeing her son’s innocent
smile, she decided to fight till the end
and if possible to make all his innocent
dreams come true.
She wiped away her tears and took her
son’s hand and asked, “Billy, did you ever
think or dream about what you wanted
to be once you grew up? “Mommy,” he
replied, “I always wanted to be a fireman
when I grew up.” She smiled back and
said, “Let’s see if we can make your wish
come true.”
Later that day she went to her local fire
department where she met Fireman Bob,
who had a heart as big as a Phoenix. She
explained her son’s final wish and asked if it
might be possible to give her 6 year old son
a ride around the block on a fire engine.
Fireman Bob thought for a while and
said, “Look, we can do better than that.
If you’ll have your son ready at seven
o’clock, Wednesday morning, we’ll
make him an honorary Fireman for the
whole day. He can come down to the
fire station, eat with us and go out on
all the fire calls! And if you’ll give us his
sizes (shirt, pants, shoes), we’ll get a
real fire uniform for him, with a real fire
hat, with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire
Department on it, a yellow slicker like we
wear and rubber boots.” Her sad face
brightened up. She was now certain that
she could make her little son’s dream
come true.
Three days later Fireman Bob picked
up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and
escorted him from his hospital bed to the
waiting hook and ladder truck. Billy got
to sit on the back of the truck and help
steer it back to the fire station. He was
in heaven. There were three fire calls in
Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out
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on all three calls. He rode in different
fire engines, the Paramedics van, and
even the fire chief’s car. He was also
videotaped for the local news program.
This little boy lived three months longer
because of this dream come true and with
the love and attention that was lavished
upon him.
One night all of his vital signs began to
drop dramatically and the head nurse
called the family members to the hospital.
Then she remembered the day Billy had
spent as a Fireman, so she called the Fire
Chief and asked if it would be possible to
send a fireman in uniform to the hospital
to be with Billy as he made his transition.
The chief replied, “We can do better than
Live a purpose
driven life
that. We’ll be there in five minutes. Will
you please do me a favour? When you
hear the sirens screaming and see the
lights flashing, will you announce over
the PA system, that it is not a fire in the
building but it’s just the fire department
coming to see one of its finest members
one more time? And will you open the
window to his room?”
About five minutes later a hook and
ladder truck arrived at the hospital and
extended its ladder up to Billy’s third
floor open window and 16 fire-fighters
climbed up the ladder into Billy’s room.
With his mother’s permission, they
hugged him and held him and told him
how much they LOVED him.
With his dying breath, Billy looked up at
the fire chief and said, “Chief, am I really
a fireman now?” “Billy, you are, and the
Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand,”
Don bosco october 2008
he said. Billy smiled
and said, “I know,
my mommy told me
that and she said that
angels will be holding
my hand.” He closed
his eyes one last time.
A little boy’s innocent dream had come
true. (This story is an internet forward
and also to be found in ‘Chicken Soup
for the soul’)
One can look into trains, buses, colleges,
schools, market places or in Churches,
temples or even seminaries and observe
a number of people who are living
ordinary lives of quiet desperation with
no big dreams pushing them, with no
We all have dreams
but once we grow
older we seem to get
lost in the maze of life
definite purpose driving them. And often
they are good people. Often the bad
ones are driven by a negative purpose,
for example, terrorists. They work with
a purpose and a good plan. But ‘good’
people seem to just live or partly live.
They are not conscious of their ‘big’
dream or their purpose or the singular
message God has sent them to deliver
on this earth.
When we are small we have dreams but
as we grow older we seem to get lost in

the maze of life. As I often write, life is all
about choices. There is one more choice
we can make. We can live a purpose-filled
life or a life that is not purpose driven.
We can dream great dreams and find the
ways to fulfil these dreams or just partly
live. Little Billy (in the story above) had
a dream but his mother’s love and the
fire chief’s compassion made this dream
come true. If they had not believed in his
dream, if they had scorned his dream, he
would have died without having fulfilled
his dream.
Rick Warren (the author of bestseller
‘Purpose Driven Life’) writes: “People
ask me, ‘what is the purpose of life?’
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is
preparation for eternity. We were made
to last forever, and God wants us to be
with Him in Heaven.” This we could call
the ultimate purpose of our existence
and we should be constantly challenged
by this purpose, this goal of life. But
Life is all about choices.
Live a purpose filled
life ... make your life a
meaningful existence on
we could also think in terms of our
meaningful existence on earth. What is
my personal contribution to this earth or
to our society? We could have dreams for
our family and for society at large. If I am
a married person I could question myself
often and see what is the legacy I want to
leave for my family? How will my family
members remember me? What will be my
contribution to my family? It is important
to be conscious of this purpose.
The second level of this purpose is
our contribution to society. Some
have contributed much. Think of world
class scientists, inventors, people who
discovered various medicines, great
artists, world class musicians, engineers,
educators, thinkers, philosophers, saints
etc. Mother Teresa was a member of
a religious congregation and she was
struck by the poverty she saw around her.
God calls her to leave that congregation
and to begin a new mission for the most
Don bosco october 2008
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abandoned and neglected people of
society and she responds to this call.
This was her particular mission, dream
or purpose. Don Bosco was nine years
old when he had a dream of reaching out
to children and youth. He kept dreaming
and working on this purpose, against all
odds. He was focused and said a definite
‘no’ to other invitations. And today his
this earth.
followers are reaching out to thousands
of youth all over the world. What is my
special message, what is my purpose?
We have to pray, reflect and discover our
personal purpose for being alive. The
more we dream and reflect the shadows
will give way to light. We will discover a
path, a personal path, a rich legacy.
All of us may not be called to achieve great
dreams or purposes that newspapers
and encyclopaedias will record. We may
be just called to achieve more humble
tasks. But the important factor is to
have a purpose. There are people who
have planted as many trees as possible,
there are those who have organized soup
kitchens for the poor or have given water
to the thirsty on their streets, or taught
others to save rain water. What will your
purpose be, what will your verse be?
Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “He
should sweep streets so well that all the
host of heaven and earth will pause to
say, ‘Here lives a great street-sweeper
who did his job well’.” Stephen Covey
would say: “Find your voice and inspire
others to find theirs”.
Joe Andrew sdb
joeandrewsdb@hotmail.com
13