Reasons To Get Back With An Ex - Or Not

Single life can make an ex seem pretty good. But is getting back together the best choice? It's over: not only is your relationship in the rearview mirror your breakup is settling into the dust too. !nd yet here you are thinking about your ex and wondering if you gave up too "uickly. !sking yourself if it's too late to make the relationship work. I get it. I've been there. #nce upon a time $ way before marriage with %&he 'ubs% and my brief foray as an (Imposter)om to my niece I was in the throes of my big breakup and it was messy. I was *+ watching all of my friends settle down with ama,ing men and having adorable babies. !nd there I was single and broken-hearted. !gain. If I had a reality series they would have called it .oser at .ove. &hings are different for me now. I never made it onto .oser at .ove but every day I talk to men and women around the world about all things love-related through my live online relationship advice &/ show 0!)1 #/12: Street Smart .ove !dvice. Several times a week someone inevitably asks whether or not they should get back together with their ex. I'll be honest: )y standard response is a big fat no. But here's the deal: my hell no may be your hell yeah. !nd if that's the case I want to arm you with the best advice so you can figure out exactly why you want to get back together with your ex and how if you're careful it could actually turn out to be one of the best decisions you ever make. 'ere are four legitimate reasons you should consider rekindling that flame $ but not after careful consideration. 3. Because &his &ime It 4ould 2eally 5ork: 1verything that didn't work in your relationship before be it cheating opposing values dishonesty lack of respect different life goals money woes political leanings religion children or a pantheon of other factors should be considered. If you give it one more shot with your ex those relationship obstacles might magically disappear and you two could make a go of the %happily ever after% thing once and for all. But you'll probably have to work on them. If you find yourself saying %maybe $ 6ust maybe $ things will be different this time % you're not alone. Smart successful ama,ing individuals 6ust like you tell

themselves this all the time to reconnect with their ex. )y "uestion to you is this: Is your ex saying the same thing? !re you in agreement about what things need to change in the relationship before you give it another go? 7Because some things should definitely change8. If the answer's yes 0ame #9. If the answer's I don't know or no 0ame #/12. :. Because ;ou've 5orked #n Improving ;ourself: In the wrong relationship we don't tend to work on ourselves $ there's no time< Instead you spend your days riding the rollercoaster of emotional drama or stuck in the rock-bottom of mediocrity. &here's freedom there: you don't have to take responsibility for yourself or your life. ;ou don't have to follow your dreams or evolve into the ama,ing human being you know deep down you're meant to become. &hat's the beauty of going back to your ex: 9one of that tricky elusive and painful personal growth. But what if 7and I'm 6ust playing devil's advocate here8 what if you did decide to grow? 5hat if you gave yourself permission to become your best self? 5ould your ex be capable of celebrating supporting and nurturing that version of you? 5ould he have grown as well? &hink about it this way: in the wrong relationship you don't get to be who you know you're meant to become. In the right one you are seen celebrated loved accepted and supported for becoming 6ust that. So right about now are you saying 0ame #9 or 0ame #/12 to giving your ex another go? *. Because ;our 1x )ight !ctually Be Someone Special Instead #f So-So: I get it. Being single can sometimes suck. 1specially as you watch all of your girlfriends settle down get married and live a life that feels out of reach. But guess what's even worse than being temporarily alone? Being lonely in a relationship with the wrong person forever. Sure you can make the case that settling for a mediocre relationship means you're sure to reach all those life milestones: marriage baby and %now what.%

But I've gotta tell you: &hose milestones are only meaningful with the right person. I've said it before and I'll say it again: had I married and had a child with any other man I'd dated or been in a relationship with prior to meeting &he 'ubs I would either be divorced or in 6ail for murder. So how do you feel? Is your ex truly someone special? Is your ex a 0ame #9 or a 0ame #/12? =. Because Big 2isks 4an >ay #ff: &he disappointment that accompanies the demise of a relationship can be paraly,ing. It's not 6ust that you loved your ex and the life you had together? it's that the version of %happily ever after% you constructed in your head and heart is forever gone and you're forced to mourn the loss alone. &his by far is the most compelling reason women want to get back together with their ex. !nd while I think there's nothing more exciting than for an individual to walk away from the wrong relationship 7whether they got dumped or did the dumping8 so they can ready themselves for the right one I get that the risk of believing someone better is out there may feel far too well risky. If you've truly taken the time to search around and consider other options but still feel that your ex is the one you might have something there. By Prof Wamba www.lostlovespell.co.,a