THE STINKER

Written by /u/WithjusTapistol

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT A table is laid out beautifully with candles and expensive dinnerware. ROY, a chubby 10-year-old with thick glasses and wearing a red hoodie sits in the middle, his eyes glued to a Game Boy. SUSAN (30ish), a shapely woman in a cocktail dress sits at one end. CHAZ (40ish), sits at the other in an executive suit with his hair slicked back. CHAZ Explain to me again why hes here? SUSAN (to Roy) Sweetie, put down Tokmon and eat. (to Chaz) The sitter ROY (not looking up) Pokmon SUSAN Yes, Pokmon. Please put it down. Roy sets the Game Boy down and begins to eat his chili. CHAZ The sitter? SUSAN Right. The sitter cancelled at the last minute. She said she had some kind of stomach virus, Im sorry. Chaz turns and watches Roy eat his chili. CHAZ Why in Gods name are you feeding him beans? SUSAN Be nice. Its what I made. I didnt think this sitter would cancel. Everyone at the office raved about her. CHAZ Susan, you said tonight we would be alone... Ive been waiting for a year...

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SUSAN Hush! Please be respectful around my son. CHAZ Right. Sorry. Its just I wish he would show me some respect. Remember last time we all had dinner? (turning to Roy) Remember that Roy? Roy stops eating but doesnt make eye contact with Chaz. ROY (mechanically) Im sorry I passed so much gas on our otherwise fine dining experience, sir. SUSAN See? Roy is a very respectful young man. (standing up) Oh! I forgot the wine. Hold on. Chaz leers at Susans bottom as she exits into the kitchen. CHAZ Okay stinky, open your dumb fat ears and listen well. If you fucking fart like you did last time its off to boarding school like I promised. Ive got your mother halfway there to signing Hey! Earth to Roy! Chaz waves his hand in front of Roy but he stares past it, a vacant look on his face. CUT TO: EXT. WITHERED WOODS - NIGHT Low fog blankets the floor of a dead forest. Above, a full moon filters through branches and bathes everything in a sickly white glow, like something out of a B-level horror flick. Roy is pressed against a gnarled oak. His flabby head is covered in sweat, running down into his eyes and mixing with his tears.

3. Roy is out of breath and on the brink of fainting. His face convulses and twists into a look of extreme concentration. FART The boys eyes go wide and he lets out a breathless squeal as another, more faint TOOT escapes from his cheeks. CHAZ (O.S.) That you Roy? Roy stops breathing and pushes himself more firmly into the oak. CHAZ (O.S.)(CONTD) (closer) Come on now, Roy. I can smell your stinky ass from a mile away. I know youre here somewhere... Over Roys shoulder in the background, Chaz flits through the trees like a ghost. Only when he gets closer to Roys oak do we see that hes grown fangs and pointed ears. His suit is filthy and torn. He huffs air into his nostrils like a wolf, his neck stretching out towards Roys stench. SNIFF SNIFF Chaz begins to circle around Roys oak. CHAZ Come on Roy! Lets end this silly game, yea? (lowering his voice) Ill be nice. I promise The man LEAPS around the tree, swinging his arms out to catch the boy. Roy lets out a pathetic screech and tries to run but trips. Chazs arms swish over Roys head as he falls. Roy lands on his fat tummy, punching through the fog. FART Just as quickly as the fog opened to take Roy in, it closes.

4. Chazs momentum carries him forward. His face contorts and his nostrils flare. CHAZ FUCK! Stop farting you little shit! Regaining his balance, he looks around. CHAZ (CONTD) Jesus, Roy. Do you know your fat little ass has single-handedly tipped the scales of global warming? Because of your god-awful butt well all be drowning from melted ice caps 50 years sooner! ROY (O.S.) It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it soChaz whirls around, trying to place Roys voice CHAZ The fuck does that mean? ROY (O.S.) (from a different location) My dad told me it means something is only bad or good if you think it is. Chaz starts to SNIFF the air again, searching. CHAZ Oh yea? Your dad was a stupid fat nerd, just like you. Chaz gets on all fours, only his head visible above the fog. He moves quietly, his head swaying back and forth trying to catch Roys scent. CHAZ (CONTD) When I catch you Im gonna beat every ounce of gas out of you. Then Im going to put you on the first plane to boarding school and be rid of you. Your mother has finally agreed to sign the papers. He stops at his last line, lost in a momentary daydream.

5. CHAZ (CONTD) Then me and your sweet mother can finally be alone. She wont be able to resist me any Roys ass pops up in front of the Chazs face. His eyes go wide as Roy rips the biggest fart of his young life. KAWHOOSH Fog is blown back by the force of the gas. Chaz tries to pull back but its too late, the stench has over powered him and he drops to the ground, foaming at the mouth. BACK TO: INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT Susan walks out of the kitchen with a bottle of wine. Chaz snaps his hand back from Roy before she can see. SUSAN Everything okay boys? CHAZ Yep, getting along just fine! Huh big guy? Roy looks up at Chaz, finally making eye contact. Chaz draws back uncomfortably. Roy slowly picks up his spoon and begins to eat his chili again. SUSAN Roy? Are you okay sweetie? The boy begins to eat his chili faster. SUSAN Roy? Roy is literally stuffing his face now, barely chewing the beans before he swallows them. CHAZ (horrified) What the hell... Roys face splits wide into a vindictive, bean covered smile.

6. THE END