THE TEMPLE

by GAO XINGJIAN
Issue of 2003-02-17 and 24 Posted 2003-02-10

We were deliriously happy, delirious with the hope, infatuation, tenderness, and warmth that go with a honeymoon. Fangfang and I had planned the trip o er and o er, e en though we had only half a month off! ten days of wedding lea e, plus one wee" of additional wor" lea e. Getting married is a ma#or e ent in life, and for us nothing was more important, so why not as" for some e$tra time% &hat dire'tor of mine was so miserly! anyone who went to him re(uesting lea e had to haggle) there were ne er automati' appro als. &he two wee"s I had written in my appli'ation he 'hanged to one wee", in'luding a *unday, and it was with relu'tan'e that he said, +I,ll e$pe't you to be ba'" at wor" by the due date.+ +Of 'ourse, of 'ourse,+ I said. +We wouldn,t be able to afford the salary dedu'tion if we stayed longer.+ It was only then that he signed his name, thereby granting us permission to lea e. I wasn,t a ba'helor anymore. I had a family. I would no longer be able to go off to restaurants with friends as soon as I got paid at the beginning of the month. I wouldn,t be able to spend re'"lessly so that by the end of the month I didn,t ha e the money to buy a pa'" of 'igarettes and had to go through my po'"ets and sear'h the drawers for 'oins. -ut I won,t go into all that. I,m saying that I.we were ery happy. In our short li es, there hadn,t been mu'h happiness. -oth Fangfang and I had e$perien'ed years of hardship, and we had learned how it is in the world. /uring those 'atastrophi' years in this 'ountry, our families suffered through many misfortunes, and we still resented, to some e$tent, the fate of our generation. -ut I won,t go into that, either, for the time being. What was important was that we 'ould now 'ount oursel es happy. We had half a month,s lea e, and although it was only half a honeymoon, for us it 'ouldn,t ha e been sweeter. I am not going to go into how sweet it was. 0ou all "now about that and ha e e$perien'ed it yoursel es, but this parti'ular sweetness was ours alone. What I want to tell you about is the &emple of 1erfe't -ene olen'e! +perfe't+ as in +perfe't union,+ and +bene olen'e+ as in +bene olent lo e.+ -ut the name of the temple is not really of great importan'e. It was a dilapidated ruin, and 'ertainly not a famous tourist attra'tion. No one "new about it, other than the lo'als, and I suspe't that e en the lo'als who "new what it was 'alled were few. In any 'ase, the temple we happened to isit wasn,t one where people burned in'ense or prayed, and if we hadn,t 'arefully e$amined the stone tablet with tra'es of writing in the drain of the water pump we wouldn,t e en ha e "nown that the temple had a name. &he lo'als referred to it as +the big temple,+ but it was nothing 'ompared with the 2etreat for the *oul &emple, in 3ang4hou, or the Jade 5loud &emple, in -ei#ing. *ituated on a hill beyond the town, it was little more than an old two6story building with flying ea es and the remnants of a stone gate in front of it. &he 'ourtyard walls had 'ollapsed. &he bri'"s of the outer wall had been 'arried off by peasants to build their houses or 'onstru't pens for their pigs, and only a 'ir'le of unfired bri'"s remained, o ergrown with weeds. 3owe er, from a distan'e, from the small street of the 'ounty town, the e$panse of gla4ed yellow tiles spar"ling in the sunlight 'aught our eyes. We had 'ome to this town (uite by a''ident. Our train had stayed at the platform after the announ'ed departure time, probably waiting for an e$press that was behind s'hedule to pass through. &he 'haoti' s'ramble of passengers getting on and off had settled and, apart from the 'ondu'tors 'hatting at the 'arriage doors, there was no one on the platform. -eyond the

station was a alley with an e$panse of gray roofs. Farther still, a 'hain of hea ily wooded mountains ga e the an'ient town an e$'eptional air of tran(uillity. *uddenly I had an idea. I said, +*hould we ta"e a loo" at this town%+ Fangfang, who was sitting opposite and loo"ing at me lo ingly, ga e a slight nod. &hose eyes of hers seemed to spea", and, sensiti e to ea'h other, we 'ommuni'ated on the same fre(uen'y. Without a word, we too" our bags from the luggage ra'" and rushed to the door of our 'arriage. As soon as we had #umped onto the platform, we both laughed. I said, +We,ll lea e on the ne$t train.+ +I don,t mind if we don,t lea e at all,+ Fangfang answered. After all, we were tra elling, and it was our honeymoon. If we fell in lo e with a pla'e we would go there, and if we went on li"ing the pla'e we would stay longer. &he happiness of newlyweds a''ompanied us all the time, where er we went. We were the happiest people in the world. Fangfang was holding my arm, and I was holding our bags. We wanted the 'ondu'tors on the platform and the 'ountless pairs of eyes on the other side of the train windows to loo" at us with en y. We no longer had to dri e oursel es mad trying to get transferred ba'" to the 'ity. Nor did we ha e to "eep appealing to our parents for help. And we didn,t ha e to worry about our residential status or our #obs anymore. We e en had our own apartment, our own home) it wasn,t ery big, but it was 'omfortable. 0ou belonged to me and I belonged to you and, Fangfang, I "now what you want to say! &his relationship is no longer immoral7 And what does that mean% It means that we want e eryone to share in our happiness. We, e had so many problems, and we, e troubled all of you with them, and you ha e all worried be'ause of us. 3ow 'an we repay you% With some 'andies and 'igarettes after our wedding% No, we are repaying you with our happiness. &here,s nothing wrong with what I,m saying, is there% *o that was how we 'ame to this (uiet old town in the alley. -ut, in truth, the town was nowhere near as tran(uil as it had seemed when we were loo"ing out of the train window. -elow the gray roof tiles, the lanes and alleys were throbbing with a'ti ity. It was nine o,'lo'" in the morning, and people were selling egetables and ro'" melons and freshly pi'"ed apples and pears. &he streets of 'ounty towns li"e this one aren,t wide, so mule 'arts, horse 'arts, and tru'"s were all #ammed together, the dri ers 'ra'"ing their whips and sounding their horns. /ust in the air, dirty water tossed out by egetable stalls, melon s"ins on the ground, s(uaw"ing hens flapping in the hands of their buyers! these were sights that made us feel 'lose to the town. It all felt so different from the time when we were graduates sent to wor" in the 'ountryside. Now we were #ust isitors passing through) we were tourists, and the 'ompli'ated relationships between the people here had nothing to do with us. Ine itably, this produ'ed in us 'ity6dwellers a sense of superiority. Fangfang was 'lut'hing my arm tightly and I was leaning 'lose to her, and we 'ould sense people,s eyes on us. -ut we didn,t belong to this town) we were from another world. We wal"ed right by them, and they didn,t gossip about us) they gossiped only about the people they "new. 8 entually, there were no more egetable stalls and ery few people. We had left the bustle and din of the mar"et behind. I saw from my wat'h that it had ta"en us only half an hour to wal" the length of the main road from the railway station. It was still early. It

would ha e been an anti'lima$ #ust to return to the station and wait for the ne$t train, and Fangfang was already thin"ing about spending the night here7 *he didn,t say so, but I 'ould see that she was somewhat disappointed. &here was a man heading toward us, ostentatiously swinging his arms as he wal"ed. 3e was probably a 'adre. +8$'use me, 'ould you tell me how to get to the 'ounty hostel%+ I as"ed. 3e studied Fangfang and me for a moment, then enthusiasti'ally pointed it out to us. +Go o er there,+ he told us, +then head left. &he red bri'" three6story building is the 'ounty hostel.+ 3e as"ed whom we were loo"ing for, and he seemed to want to ta"e us there himself. We e$plained that we were #ust tourists passing through and as"ed him if there were any sights worth seeing. 3e patted his head! this, it seemed, was a problem. After gi ing the matter some thought, he said, +&here a'tually aren,t any s'eni' spots in this 'ounty. -ut there,s a big temple up on the hill to the west of town, if you want to go there. 0ou,ll ha e to 'limb the hill, though, and it,s steep7+ +&hat,s O.9. We, e 'ome here so that we 'an go hi"ing,+ I said. Fangfang hastened to add, +&hat,s right. We,re not afraid of 'limbing a hill.+ At this, the man led us to the 'orner of the street. &he hill was now dire'tly in front of us, and on top of it, gla4ed tiles spar"ling in the sun, was the old temple. -ut then the man glan'ed at the high6heeled shoes that Fangfang was wearing and said, +0ou,ll ha e to wade a'ross a ri er.+ +Is the water deep%+ I as"ed. +Abo e the "nees.+ I loo"ed at Fangfang. +&hat,s nothing. I,ll manage.+ *he didn,t want to disappoint me. We than"ed him and began wal"ing in the dire'tion he had indi'ated. When we turned onto the dusty dirt road, I 'ouldn,t help feeling somewhat regretful as I loo"ed at the new high6heeled shoes with thin straps that Fangfang had on. *till, she 'harged ahead. +0ou,re really a 'ra4y little thing,+ I said, 'at'hing up to her. +As long as I,m with you.+ /o you remember, Fangfang% 0ou said this as you nestled against me. We wal"ed toward the ri erban". 5orn grew straight, taller than a man, on both sides, and we followed a path through the green gau4e 'anopy, with no one in sight either ahead or behind. &a"ing Fangfang in my arms, I gently "issed her. What,s wrong with that% *he doesn,t want me to tal" about that. *o let,s go ba'" to the &emple of 1erfe't -ene olen'e. It was on the other side of the ri er, at the top of the hill. We 'ould see tufts of weeds growing between the glistening yellow tiles. &he ri er was 'lear and 'ool. I held Fangfang,s shoes and my leather sandals in one hand and Fangfang,s hand in the other, while she s'ooped up her s"irt with her free hand. -arefoot, we felt our way a'ross. It had been a long time sin'e I wal"ed barefoot, so my feet were sensiti e to e en the smooth stones on the ri erbed.

+Is it hurting your feet%+ I as"ed Fangfang. +I li"e it,+ you replied softly. On our honeymoon, e en ha ing sore feet was a happy sensation. All the misfortunes of the world seemed to flow away with the ri er water, and we returned for a moment to our youth. We froli'"ed in the water li"e mis'hie ous 'hildren. Fangfang leaped from ro'" to ro'" as I steadied her with one hand, and from time to time she hummed a song. After 'rossing the ri er, we started to run up the hill, laughing and shouting. &hen Fangfang 'ut her foot and I was ery upset, but she 'omforted me, saying that it was all right, it would be nothing as soon as she put on her shoes. I said that it was my fault, but she replied that she,d do anything to ma"e me happy, e en let her feet get 'ut. All right, all right, I won,t go on about it. -ut be'ause you are the friends we alue most, who ha e shared our an$ieties with us, we should also share our happiness with you. It was in this way that we finally 'limbed to the top of the hill and arri ed at the outer gate in front of the temple. Within the 'ollapsed 'ourtyard wall there was a gutter with pure water from the pump running through it. In what had been the 'ourtyard, someone had planted a pat'h of egetables, and ne$t to it was a manure pit. We re'alled the years that we had spent sho elling manure with produ'tion units in the 'ountryside. &hose diffi'ult times had tri'"led away li"e water, and there remained some grief but also sweet memories, and there was our lo e, too. In the glorious sunlight, no one 'ould interfere with this se'ure lo e of ours. No one would be able to harm us again. Near the big temple there was also an iron in'ense burner. It was probably too hea y to mo e and too thi'" to brea" apart, so it 'ontinued to "eep the old temple 'ompany, standing guard in front of the main door. &he door was padlo'"ed. -oards had been nailed o er the rotten wooden latti'e windows, but they, too, had rotted. &he pla'e was probably now being used as a storehouse for the lo'al produ'tion team. No one else was around, and it was ery pea'eful. We 'ould hear the mountain wind moaning in the an'ient pines in front of the temple, and, as there was no one to disturb us, we lay down on the grass in the shade of the trees. Fangfang rested her head on my arm, and we loo"ed up at a thread of 'loud that was about to disappear into the blue s"y. Ours was an indes'ribable happiness, a true 'ontentment. We would ha e gone on lying there, into$i'ated by this tran(uillity, but we heard hea y footsteps on the flagstones. Fangfang sat up, and I got to my feet to ha e a loo". A man was wal"ing along the stone path from the gate toward the temple. 3e was a big fellow, with a mass of tangled hair and an untrimmed beard 'o ering his 'hee"s. 3e was s'owling. From beneath bushy eyebrows, his stern eyes sur eyed us. &he wind had turned 'ool. 1robably noti'ing our 'urious loo"s, the man raised his head slightly in the dire'tion of the temple. &hen, s(uinting, he studied the weeds swaying among the shiny tiles. 3e stopped in front of the in'ense burner and, stri"ing it with one hand, made it ring. 3is fingers, gnarled and rough, loo"ed as if they, too, were made of 'ast iron. In his other hand he held a tattered bla'" 'otton bag. 3e didn,t seem li"e a 'ommune member who had 'ome to tend the egetables. 3e was si4ing us up again, loo"ing at Fangfang,s high6heeled shoes and our tra el bags in the grass. Fangfang immediately put her shoes ba'" on. &hen, une$pe'tedly, he addressed us. +Are you from out of town% Are you en#oying yoursel es here%+ I nodded.

+It,s good weather,+ he said. 3e seemed to want to tal". &he eyes under those thi'" eyebrows had be'ome less stern, and he appeared well6meaning. 3e was wearing leather shoes with rubber6tire soles, and the seams had split in pla'es. &he legs of his trousers were wet, so he had 'learly 'ome a'ross the ri er from town. +It,s 'ool, and the iew is (uite beautiful,+ I said. +*it down. I,ll be lea ing shortly.+ It seemed that he was offering a "ind of apology. 3e, too, sat down on the grass beside the flagstones. 3e opened his bag and said, +Would you li"e a melon%+ +No, than"s,+ I said (ui'"ly. -ut he threw me a ro'" melon anyway. I 'aught it and was about to throw it ba'". +It,s nothing. I, e got half a bag of them here,+ he said, raising the hea y bag to show me and ta"ing out another melon as he spo"e. I 'ouldn,t say no, so I too" a par'el of sna'"s from my tra el bag, opened it, and held it out to him. +&ry our sna'"s,+ I said. 3e too" a small pie'e of 'a"e and put it on top of his bag. +&hat,s enough,+ he said. +Go ahead and eat it.+ 3e s(uee4ed the melon in his big hands, 'ra'"ing the brittle s"in. +&hey,re 'lean. I washed them in the ri er.+ 3e tossed away the melon rind and shouted in the dire'tion of the gate, +&a"e a brea"7 5ome and eat some melon7+ +-ut there are long6horned grasshoppers here7+ A boy,s oi'e 'ame from beyond the gate, then the boy himself appeared on the slope, holding a wire 'age. +&here are plenty of them. I,ll 'at'h some for you later,+ the man replied. &he little boy 'ame toward us, boun'ing and #umping as he ran. +Is it s'hool a'ation%+ I as"ed and, 'opying the man, 'ra'"ed our melon into pie'es. +It,s *unday today, so I brought him out,+ he replied. We were so into$i'ated with our own holiday that we had forgotten what day of the wee" it was. Fangfang too" a bite of the melon and smiled at me to indi'ate that he was a good man. &here are, in fa't, many good people in the world. +8at it. It,s from :n'le and Auntie o er there,+ he said to the boy, who was staring at the 'ream 'a"e on top of his bag. &he boy had grown up in this town and had 'learly ne er seen su'h a 'a"e. 3e too" it and ate it right away. +Is he your son%+ I as"ed. &he man didn,t reply, but said to the boy, +&a"e the melon and go play. I,ll 'at'h grasshoppers for you later.+ +I want to 'at'h fi e of them7+ the boy said. +All right, we,ll 'at'h fi e.+ &he man wat'hed him as he ran off with the wire 'age in his hand. &here were deep 'reases at the 'orners of his eyes.

+3e isn,t my son,+ he said, loo"ing down and ta"ing out a 'igarette. *tri"ing a mat'h, he dragged hard. 3e per'ei ed our surprise and added, +3e,s the 'hild of my paternal 'ousin. I want to adopt him, but it depends on whether he,s willing to 'ome and stay with me.+ *uddenly we understood that this stern man,s heart was 'hurning with emotion. +What about your wife%+ Fangfang 'ouldn,t help as"ing. &here was no reply. 3e puffed hard on his 'igarette, got up, and left. We felt the 'hill of the mountain air. On the brilliant yellow tiles, the fresh grass that had sprouted in the spring was as tall as the old, withered stal"s, and both swayed in the bree4e. In the blue s"y, a floating 'loud that seemed to hang on the 'orner of a flying ea e 'reated the impression that the temple itself was tilting. A bro"en tile at the edge of the ea e loo"ed as if it were about to fall. 1erhaps it had sat that way for years without falling. &he man was standing on a mound that had on'e been a wall, and for a long time he #ust stared out at the mountains and alleys. In the distan'e were ridges that were higher and steeper than the hill we were on. &here were no terra'ed fields on the mountain slopes and no houses to be seen. +0ou shouldn,t ha e as"ed him,+ I said. +/on,t go on about it.+ Fangfang loo"ed aggrie ed. +&here,s a grasshopper here7+ &he boy,s oi'e 'ame from the other side of the hill. It seemed far away but was ery 'lear. &he man strode off in his dire'tion, swinging the bag of ro'" melons, and disappeared from sight. I put a hand on Fangfang,s shoulder and pulled her toward me. +/on,t.+ *he turned away. +&here,s a bit of grass in your hair,+ I e$plained, remo ing a pine needle that had stu'" to her hair. +&hat tile is about to fall,+ Fangfang said. *he, too, had noti'ed the bro"en tile that was hanging so pre'ariously. +It would be good if it fell. Otherwise it might in#ure someone,+ she mumbled. +It might be a while before it does fall,+ I said. We wal"ed to the mound where the man had been standing. In the alley there was a stret'h of farmland, dense 'rops of lu$uriant green barley and broom'orn millet, waiting for the autumn har est. -elow us, on a le el part of the slope, were a few mud huts, their bottom hal es newly 'oated in brilliant white lime. &he man was holding the boy,s hand as they made their way down a little winding tra'", past the huts and through the 'rops. *uddenly, li"e a 'olt that has bro"en free of its reins, the boy bolted off, dashing ahead then turning and running ba'". 3e seemed to be wa ing the 'age at the man. +/o you thin" the man 'aught grasshoppers for him%+ Fangfang, do you remember as"ing me that% +Of 'ourse,+ I said. +Of 'ourse.+

+3e 'aught fi e of them7+ you said 'hee"ily. Well, that,s the &emple of 1erfe't -ene olen'e that we isited on our honeymoon, and whi'h I wanted to des'ribe for all of you.