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The physics of

posture
S
From Thailand to Bali, from Colorado to Hawaii, Annas trips evoke scenes from Kill Bill. On the bed, Im given what feels like a bad massage. My contorted body is unwound and hobbled in a series of niggley rubs and teases. When my posterior is rubbed, I feel sensation in my toe and when my arm is stimulated, I feel nerves in my back. At certain intervals, I roll off the bed to tell Anna what Im feeling. Conventionally, the request is a polite invitation to b about how great the massage is so that the masseuse can get on with it. Be honest, Anna coaxes. I admit that although sceptical at rst, the half of my body that has been manipulated feels as though Ive stepped into a new skeleton. It feels great. We rush to the iPad to take new photographs to see if there is any photographic evidence for what Im feeling. Look at that! Anna exclaims, pointing to my ears, shoulders, hips and ankles. Your plumb line is so much straighter. And its true. In the rst lot of photos, I look like a puppet missing strings, now, however, it appears as if someone has replaced my spine with a poniard. Frankly surprised that the whole thing hadnt been mumbo-jumbo, I begin machine-gunning questions. How should I sit, stand, walk, perform all of lifes bodily functions? But, Ive already taken up an hour-and-a-half of Annas time. Sit as though youre a pianist pushing your tail feathers back. Your bottom in a seated position is essentially a tripod, just feel your centre of gravity and keep it, she smiles. With the exception of watering-holes, there are few places in London that can claim to change your centre of gravity and the Belgravia Light Centre doesnt boast in vain. 9-11 Eccleston Street, SW1W 9LX, 020 7881 0728 (lightcentrebelgravia.co.uk; thepolishedonion.com)

As massages provide only a temporary respite from the tyranny of ofce backache, Henry Hopwood-Phillips goes in search of a superior solution

trip to your underpants, I need to take some photos, says my therapist Anna Collins, gently. Suddenly I feel an intimation of what it must be like for those beautiful and less beautiful girls modelling agencies accost because they reckon theyve got a certain look about them. I limply remove my clothing. Anna takes mug shots as I revolve 90 degrees. But my only crime at this scene is having the posture of a panda with a stomach to match. I ask Anna to give me a bit of detail about her background in holistic therapy, hoping to receive an explanation that, at the very least, circuitously justies the exercise in humility. Id been trying a lot of alternative therapies for a while; it was quite by chance before departing from Thailand that I secured an appointment with a visiting consultant, Jeffrey Bomes, at Chiva-Som spa, she recalls. Rolng is not something the Bullingdon Club gets up to in crumpet-encrusted enclaves. The Rolf method of structural integration is a technique developed by the biochemist Ida Rolf in the mid-20th century that involves manipulating the muscles to enhance the way they cope on

Rolng is not something the Bullingdon Club gets up to in crumpet-encrusted enclaves


a daily basis with gravity, she enthuses. Think of the thin lm that wraps muscle in the body biologists used to just think was stuff [she should know, she used to be a biologist]. Stuff you had to cut through to get to the real things like muscle, Anna explains. I think of the silver layers I have to jab through when Im chopping up lamb. It is far from purposeless, it is the fascia; it holds the whole body in tension. It has a memory, and its interconnected and interrelated, she adds. Next, she pulls her t-shirt into a knot to demonstrate; ruptured lines appear all over the garment. Look, when one area is affected, all areas react. Learning the Rolf method took her through a series of mentors, including Emmett Hutchins one of Dr Rolfs protgs, in places that spanned the breadth of the globe.

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