The Peace Found in Forgiveness of Others

If you or I or any other were asked to compile a list of the ugliest traits of character
that a person could have and that we run across in people I am sure that things like
hatred, anger, bitterness, malice, and an unwillingness to forgive would all rank up
there near the top of our list. People who possess these traits are not pleasant to
be around. That is not to say they have no friends but only that the kind of person
that takes up with them is very likely to share some of the same traits they have.
And, I might add, one of the positive things about family is they are likely to love
you no matter what so they will put up with you.

While I listed 5 traits it is easy to see how they are all related. Why is a person
unwilling to forgive or lacks the desire to do so? Is it not because of hatred, anger,
bitterness, and perhaps even malice (a sort of revenge motive of I will get even with
you even if that mechanism is only by being unwilling to forgive).

Yes, we all have people who have done us wrong whom we have been very angry
at, maybe bitter against, but I have never seen a time in my own life but what time
heals and the things that seemed so great an issue at the time has over the years
palled into insignificance and no longer matter. We are going to get hurt in life.
That is just life. But, we also have to remember as we have been hurt so have we
hurt others whether intentionally or not.

Why is it we take the hurts we receive to heart but see as insignificant things we
have said or done to others (or even things we should have done as acts of
consideration or kindness or love but failed to do)? Why is it we come to see
everything as one sided as though it is the world against us but our purity is as of
the new fallen snow without spot?

Certainly, there are some things that would be hard to forgive – adultery committed
against us, desertion by a husband against his wife and children, physical abuse,
lies told against us, hurts done to our children, etc. But, even so, where does
holding on to the anger and bitterness and hatred get you? Does it bring you a
happier life? Does it bring you joy? We all know the answer—it just brings greater
suffering and sorrow, more misery, as we dwell more and more on the hurt we have
received rather than a rebuilding of life that can bring joy and peace.

So far I have talked about the common experiences of man but we need to put a
biblical perspective on these things not only because we are talking about Bible
subjects but also because we are spiritual beings subject to the supreme spiritual
being—God himself. It is not the physical man that gets hurt, who develops anger
and bitterness and hatred and who is unwilling to forgive, but the spiritual man.

Man was created in the image of God (Gen. 1:26). As we have received hurt at the
hands of others we have to remember we all, every one of us, have hurt God with
our own lives. This has been true of man from the beginning. “And the Lord was
sorry that he had made man on the earth, and he was grieved in his heart.” (Gen.
6:6 NKJV) This was because “the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and
that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” (Gen. 6:5
NKJV)

It is easy to say that was generations ago and times have changed, we are not that
way today. Yes, easy to say but also easy to know we are deceiving ourselves when
we do so. Paul said to Christians, “do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom
you were sealed for the day of redemption.” (Eph. 3:30 NKJV) If a Christian can
grieve God how about all those who know the truth of the gospel but will not obey
it? Do you think they grieve God? If you think the one you will not forgive is your
enemy do you think you are God’s friend all the while grieving him? So we see the
one who will not forgive needs forgiving himself.

It would be good to hear some scripture on the subject of forgiveness and our great
need to forgive others.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your
trespasses.” (Matt. 6:14-15 NKJV) “And whenever you stand praying, if you have
anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive
you your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25 NKJV) This forgiveness must be “from his heart”
(Matt. 18:35 NKJV) which means of course sincerely.

If Jesus could have a heart of forgiveness toward those who were crucifying him,
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34 NKJV), then
surely no one has done such evil to you as that done to him. (I am not saying those
who crucified Christ were forgiven without repentance and obedience to the gospel
but only that Jesus’ prayer was from a heart desiring their forgiveness which came
to many as they obeyed the gospel on the Day of Pentecost). How is our heart
toward God and our fellowman when we relish hatred and enjoy the bitterness and
anger that accompanies it? And why, why is that so? Why are we that way? Why
would we rather destroy ourselves than to forgive? Is there any sense or reason to
it?

There is comfort to be found in the Christian life in not only our own forgiveness by
God but also the burden that is lifted from our heart when we from the heart forgive
those we have so long held anger and bitterness against. “Let all bitterness, wrath,
anger, clamor (‘harsh words’ in the NLT—DS), and evil speaking be put away from
you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one
another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.” (Eph. 4:31-32 NKJV)

It is so much easier to live life when surrounded by people that are kind and
tenderhearted and forgiving, people who are not out just for themselves, or just to
get you, or just to get even and reap vengeance but rather people that care about
you. No, life is better when you are able to say yes I need forgiveness myself and I
will no longer hold anger or grudges against others but I forgive as I seek God’s
forgiveness also in my own life.

It would be good to talk a little about God’s loving kindness and willingness to
forgive. God gives us all hope. The apostle Paul was at one time a very evil man.
He says of himself, “many of the saints I shut up in prison, having received authority
from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against
them.” (Acts 26:10 NKJV) Yet, God showed him mercy and Paul later says
concerning this, “But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a
prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will
realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.” (1 Tim. 1:16 NLT)

Of those 3,000 on the day of Pentecost who obeyed the gospel and were saved that
day Peter says to them about Jesus, “you have taken by lawless hands, have
crucified, and put to death,” speaking in reference to what they had done to Christ.
Surely, if God would forgive them he will forgive you, me, and all of us if only we are
willing to give up our sin. We need not live in hatred and malice and unforgiving of
others as that is a personal choice. We choose to be that way. We do not have to
be. No one forces us to be unloving and unforgiving and full of pride that will not let
us repent.

David said, “Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” (Psalms
34:14 NKJV) It is a choice. “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath.” (Psalms 37:8
NKJV) God is ready to forgive. “For you, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and
abundant in mercy to all those who call upon you.” (Psalms 86:5 NKJV)

There is a passage in Ezekiel that we all ought to learn for even though it was
written for another people at another time it is still applicable today (Rom. 15:4),
“’Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways,’
says the Lord God. ‘Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity
will not be your ruin. Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have
committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you
die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies,’ says
the Lord God. ‘Therefore turn and live!’” (Ezek. 18:30 NKJV)

We will all be judged individually, “every one according to his ways,” so it is not
what kind of attitude the other man has who we have it in for but it is our own
attitude that we must account for. Repentance can save us, “Repent…so that
iniquity will not be your ruin.” It is up to us as we can get ourselves “a new heart
and a new spirit.” No, we do not have to be the way we are if we are unloving and
unforgiving.

In closing let me ask a few questions for your consideration. Why did Jesus come
into the world? Who sent him? Why is Jesus called the Savior? Why did he die on
the cross? Has God given us a choice (free will)? Is it possible to change our
attitude, our life, and our hope? Why do we choose to hate, have bitterness and
anger, to be unloving and unforgiving? What joy and happiness do we find in that?
Is there a better way of life? Can peace and joy and hope of life everlasting be
found or is the way hidden from us?

I think we all know the answers to these questions so there is only one other
question to ask. It is the question in the old gospel hymn we have sung since the
days of my childhood which is now many decades past. It is the question, “Why do
you wait o sinner?” “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of
salvation.” (2 Cor. 6:2 NKJV) There is peace in forgiving and in being forgiven.