Originally written: November 9, 2010

Last updated: January 31, 2014

A Lifetime Created in 8½ Minutes: We are who we are. / Psychosocial Development / God

Was Never On Your Side / Meeting Far Out Hippies / The Day My Father Died

Minute 1: You invited me over! Trust / Faith / Hope / Care / Affection

A: What happened to you?

B: I was sent overseas.
A: You said you would wait for me and be there for me.
B: Don’t you understand there was a war going on. I couldn’t tell when I would leave or how
long I was going to stay there. When they say go you’ve got to go. You don’t tell them no. You
can’t control that.
A: You weren’t in the navy. You joined the navy to get away from me.
B: You’re crazy! If you didn’t know I was in the navy you must have been on something. I was
in a training program.
A: A training program! Now you sound like you think you were a secret spy or something. You
were probably, only a nothing, not even an officer.
B: It was my duty. I went in the navy right out of high school. What do you think?
A: What are you talking about? Me! On something! I don’t even drink.
B: Then what were you doing in a bar? Is that what you did and do? You go to bars, don’t drink,
and pick up young men who are tipsy?
A: What did you think? I was a whore?
B: I don’t know what whores do. You have to answer that question!
A: Look! What’s done is done.
B: What does that mean? We’d better talk in here. Come on!
A: Oh! I know what you want. That’s why you were looking at me the way you were in the store.
You thought I’d come here and something would happen.
B: I don’t know what you are talking about.
A: Wait a second! Come in here.
C: (Had been outside the door that leads to the carport, now enters the kitchen and into the living
room.)
B: What? What are you doing? I didn’t know you were going to bring somebody with you. Is it
impossible for you to just talk? I wanted to talk, but now we can’t even do that! Why did you
bring him here anyway? Somebody his age doesn’t need to hear all this!
A: Does it bother you? It should. What do you think? Once you move on or get married your past
is erased? You start anew? Don’t you want to know his name?
B: The only relationship recognized by God between a man and a woman is marriage.
A: This is an important time for him. It means something when children become teens. His
birthday is coming up soon. At this age, children need their fathers, especially when they become
teenagers.
B: What? What are you talking about?

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Minute 2: Who are you? Autonomy / Freedom / Independence / Control / Pride

A: So you went ahead and got married! I cannot believe it.

B: I don’t know who you are! Don’t you understand? I don’t know who you are!
A: What! So what did you do? You went out to the store earlier, and then you just happen to see
me. You start eyeing me and inviting me over. Now you say you didn’t and don’t even know
who I am? You’re the whore! I guess you wanted some more of what you had before and with no
strings attached.
D: (Awakened by returning car, listening, comes out of the bedroom and into the living room.)
B: I can’t be a whore. That’s only for women.
A: Do you think I’m an idiot? You even invited me over to do something with him here while he
was sleeping. And you left him at home alone while you went to the store. Is that why you told
me this was a good time because you knew he would be napping? And what do you do? You go
and leave a small child this age at home alone? He wasn’t with you. You were alone! And he’s
awake now.
B: Well, you were alone too, but now you’ve got him with you. What did you do? Go home and
get him? You leave him alone by himself, and now you’re talking to me like that!
A: He was in the car! You didn’t see him? What are you talking about?
B: What are you talking about? You didn’t show up alone. I only wanted us to talk. I thought you
agreed, and now you bring him along. We can’t talk with kids around. What did you do? Tell
him to hide in the car so I wouldn’t see him?
A: Talk! With him here! What did you have planned? Talking wakes people up.
B: Because of all this noise, you woke him up!
A: You thought I would come, and he would stay asleep the entire time. That’s sick! Now that
he’s awake he can listen! Besides, he’s too young to be able to remember. And as for the two of
us, he’s old enough. He knows everything that happened anyway. This isn’t the first time he’s
heard about all of this. I had to tell him.
B: What do you mean?

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Minute 3: I made it without you! Initiative / Ambition / Drive / Purpose / Power

A: What do you think I mean? He’s got your name! _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. I did that for you since you
weren’t there to tell me what name you wanted.
B: That’s not my name! My name is not spelled like that!
A: That’s what you told me! It’s _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Did you lie to me about that too? Who are you,
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _?
B: I didn’t lie. I am who I told you I was, and that’s not my name. My name
is _ _ _ _ _ _ _. What about you? You go to bars to pick up tipsy sailors younger than you? How
many times had you already done that? How many times have you done that?
A: You’re sick. I didn’t know you were a sailor. That was a bar where university students go,
and your hair was not short.
B: So you want to tell me you were in the university!
A: I guess I was until I came across you. Looking at me the way you did, and telling me all the
things you told me. Then I had to stop studying. I lost my scholarship, and my mother wasn’t
going to pay for me. I was on my own! I only made it because of close friends. And what were
you doing at a university bar? I thought you just told me you were in the navy. And you go to
university bars to pick up university students?
B: Why do you think I had my hair cut like it was?
A: Your hair wasn’t cut like somebody in the navy.
B: I was on leave after finishing a training program. You don’t understand. And there’s no such
thing as university bars! Bars are, and people go there!
A: You told me you were studying to make me think you were in the university. So you had
finished a training program? I see! That’s the way you finish training camp I suppose? Is it all
part of the ritual? And training is not the same as studying. There’s no depth.
B: You don’t know what you’re talking about! I was in a training program not a training camp.
You were probably just some hippie on drugs. Now you want something from me because you
think you remember seeing me at a bar sometime in your past. I tell you what! I don’t even know
who you are! You are definitely crazy!
A: Me? You’re crazy! Look! He’s even got your birth date too!
B: What? That doesn’t mean anything! And something like that is impossible. You really are
sick! Where was he born? At home? That doesn’t mean anything.
A: I couldn’t afford a hospital. I had the help of a friend who is a midwife and some very close
friends. It was natural.
B: Yeah! I bet you had one really close friend.
A: I had several and one very dear friend, and he was sweet to me and helped me out.
B: And what did he get in return? You think I would believe that you didn’t have anything to do
with him? Hey! Stay over here!
D: (Just a look.)
B: Keep them apart! Like I said, that stuff doesn’t mean anything, except to you maybe. A baby
born at home can have any birth date a person wants it to be. And what’s his last name?
A: That’s none of your business. Like I already said, I got a friend to help me out. He was
established, a person who cared about me, not somebody like you. We didn’t have anything to do
with each other before the birth. Nothing like you mean it anyway. He’s my friend.
B: So he signed the paperwork? Or did you make up the last name too?

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Minute 4: Can you spell it? Industry / Diligence / Persistence / Education / Competence

A: What do you think? He had to have somebody’s name, and it wasn’t going to be just mine.
You were gone! Disappeared! I didn’t know what happened.
B: So he’s got his father’s name, and that man is his father. You must have been a hippie then,
and I guess you still are a hippie. Looks like he’s a hippie too. Look at that hair! So I don’t know
what you’ve got going on, but I don’t want it around me or here.
A: He’s old enough to decide what he wants, and I let him be himself. It’s okay.
C: Hey! Look at this!
D: (Just a smile.)
B: Don’t touch that!
A: What do you think? I’m going to have him drug him, or he’s not clean or something? For
goodness sake!
B: I see what you are trying to do. You want to see them together. You probably think they’ll be
friends, and it will affect them and us somehow. You need to take him back to his father!
C: You might not understand or remember what’s going on here, but remember this. Do you
know how to spell?
D: (Just a look.) (D: was asked a question similar to the next one by C: on a later date.)
C: My name is _ _ _ _ _ _. Can you spell _ _ _ _ _ _? It’s spelled _ _ _ _ _ _.
A: To his father? Who is that? That’s exactly why I’m here.
B: Children are only recognized by God through marriage. Hey! Get away from him!
C: (Just a look and moves away a little.)
D: (Just a look.)
A: You actually believe that? It looks so nice and neat. Here you are, at home, married and going
to Church with your family. That’s too much. So you won’t even recognize anything! What’s
your name honey?
B: Leave him out of this. I don’t make the rules. The rules I live by are the rules set by God and
by the laws of the Church. You can’t just go around making up rules as you go. That’s what
hippies do, and they will never last.
A: I can ask him that. Or he doesn’t talk?
C: He told me. His name is _ _ _ _ from _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
D: (Just a smile.)

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Minute 5: You are crazy! Identity / Sameness / Agreement / Selfness / Confidence

A: What kind of rules do you live by is not the question? What rules do you hide behind is more
like it? You’re the one that’s crazy for sure. I know it now! You’re hiding behind God and
Church and marriage. And you actually believe that! I understand how it all happened now. It’s
clear! I met and trusted a maniac who took advantage of me! What’s your last name?
D: (Just a look.)
B: Stop that! Man lives and dies by the rules of God and the laws of the Church.
C: (Approaches D: again and starts talking again.)
B: You don’t know? You come over here, making all this noise, causing all these problems, like
you know who I am, and you don’t know that? That doesn’t make any sense! You are definitely
crazy!
A: Of course I know his last name!
B: I see what you’re trying to do. They’re not friends, and he’s too old for him. Children play
with children their same age. You want him to tell him things, go to your way of thinking and
against me! Children shouldn’t be exposed to conversations like this.
A: You’ve got problems. Like I already said, kids his age don’t even remember things like this.
Do you like him?
D: (Just a look.)
A: You see! He doesn’t even talk. What have you done to him?
B: Stop! I can see what you’re doing. Hey! Go to your room!
D: (Just a look.)
A: You can’t do that! He has the right to be here and the right to know!
B: You’re crazy!
A: What’s your name?
D: _ _ _ _.
A: Your whole name? The other part?
D: _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
A: What is that?
B: He told you. Now stop bothering him!
A: You told me your last name was _ _ _ _ _ _ _. It’s supposed to be _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
B: I didn’t tell you that. My last name is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and it’s _ _ _ _ _.
A: Oh! I see what kind of roots you’ve got. I should have known. You lied to me! With that first
name you tricked me, and now with the last name too. That’s something else.

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Minute 6: Let’s talk! Intimacy / Experience / Familiarity / Love / Relationships

A: What’s your mother’s name?

D: _ _ _ _.
A: Her last name? The other part?
D: _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
A: I know that. What’s her maiden name?
B: Stop! Get out! This is too much!
D: (Just a look.)
A: Oh, he doesn’t know. Maybe he doesn’t understand.
B: What is your problem? And why are you asking?
A: They need to know because when they are older, how are they going to know who they are
when they meet unless they know their names? Their paths will cross. Then I am getting out of
here for sure.
B: How can you say that? You don’t know something like that unless you try to make it happen.
You are way too far out there for me. People can’t predict or know things like that. God does not
work like that.
A: Mothers know. So he doesn’t know! So what is it?
B: What’s what?
A: Her last name?
B: I’m going to tell you this, and you are going to leave. I want you to get out!
A: Are these your bottles? Do you still use diapers?
D: (Just a look.)
A: You need help! Where is everybody? You’ve got another child and in diapers at that? Is that
the way it is? So you just kept on going. You forgot about me when I was desperate and had no
money. I didn’t even exist for you.
B: What are you talking about? You should have gone to your mother’s. That’s what family
does. I’m not your family.
A: I didn’t come to the U.S. to go to my mother’s. I was here, and I had help from friends who
cared about me.
B: So now you’re looking for more help. You are looking for more charity. You can go to your
country where they have programs for women like you.

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Minute 7: What’s your name? Generativity / Guidance / Nurture / Creation / Change

A: Who do you think I am! You think I’m a whore and leech! I made it on my own. What kind
of woman do you think I am? I told you I loved you, and you told me the same thing. You told
me you would wait for me. I had to go home because my grandmother passed away, and then
you were gone.
B: The navy called me, and I had to go back. I didn’t have a choice.
A: You told me you were finished studying, and you were getting out. You made me believe you
had finished the university. Now you make it sound like you were a covert agent or something in
the military, like they couldn’t exist without you. What were you? And what do you do now?
B: That doesn’t matter. I don’t talk about what I do and my work with strangers.
A: See! I told you. You probably weren’t even in the navy.
B: You don’t get it. We were at war. I guess you don’t understand that! You’re not even from
here so you don’t understand anyway.
A: You could have called or written.
B: How?
A: You were gone and that was it. You told me you loved me.
B: I had been at sea for months. I came back for training and shore leave, and I was drinking.
That’s how it happened! I went back out to sea, and that’s it. I was in _ _ _ _ _.
A: Oh! I see. I’m not the only one. This probably happened everywhere you docked? You need
help. Thank goodness I’ve got somebody who cares about me to help me now. He’s at home.
And we don’t leave our baby alone like you do. Do you have a sister?
D: (Just a look.)
A: What is your sister’s name?
D: _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _. (Only two names were actually mentioned at the time.)
A: What! What! You definitely need help! So you got rid of everybody, and invited me over and
kept him here alone. Why? So he could learn from you? Where did you send her and everybody?
You planned this. What is your grandmother’s name? Grandmother?
D: Grandmother _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
A: Okay. I know that. I mean your other grandmother’s name. What’s her name?
D: Grandmother _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
A: What? So her last name is _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Well, I cannot compete with that!
B: Get out! You said you wanted her maiden name and then you would leave. Now you’ve got
it!

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Minute 8: It’s time to leave. Ego / Reflection / Reality / Wisdom / Fulfillment

A: Her maiden name is _ _ _ _ _ _ _! I see! You target women from the U.K. What did you think
you would do? Meet the Queen?
B: What is wrong with you? She’s not from England. She’s American. And leave her out of this.
I gave you what you wanted to know, and now it’s time for you to leave. Hey! And you? Go with
your mother!
C: (Just a look.)
A: Who do you think you are? You cannot talk to him like that! You think you can order him and
other people around? It’s better that he is not around you. You order and do without considering
people or consequences. Let’s go! Bye! Honey! May God bless you!
D: (Just a look and smile.)
B: Only his mother speaks to him like that. Children are only recognized by God through
marriage. Now get out!
A: What are you worried about? She might come home? The neighbors? You should have
thought about that when you were making those eyes at me in the store. You can’t call the police.
What will you tell them? I followed you home?
B: You did!
A: Because of you I’m leaving! You’re sick. I can only pray for you.
B: You can’t talk to me like that!
A: Let’s go!
C: Okay! Bye! See you again one day! (Went looking for D: once some time later at _ _ _ _ Sims
Court.)
D: (Just a look and smile.)
B: I’m closing the door because it’s cold out here. Just wait inside. Okay?
D: Okay?
B: Here take this!
A: You think I’m a charity case. I don’t want your money. And don’t worry I won’t be back, at
least not when you are here.
B: You had better not bother my family, or I will call the police.
A: Don’t worry. I thought I might have it bad, but you’ve got me beat.
B: (Comes back inside.) Show me your hands. What did he give you? Did you touch anything he
had? That woman was crazy! They’re just a bunch of worthless hippies. Worthless is too strong.
They’re just a bunch of hippies looking for handouts. Come on!
D: She talks funny.
B: Let’s wash your hands and just forget all about this. We’re not going to talk about them
anymore. Okay?
D: Okay?
B: She was crazy wasn’t she?
D: Yes?

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One Half Past: Are there any questions? Trust / Faith / Hope / Care / Affection

D: I have no questions that cannot be answered. I no longer wonder how this happened.
C: (Just a look.)
B: (Just a look.)
A: (Just a look.)
D: (Just a look and smile.) And so are the goings on at _ _ _ Park Lane. Hopefully the third time
to meet is a charm.