Alone. Thats what I feel from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep.

I feel like the loneliness is eating me away from the inside out. Nowhere to go, no-one to talk to. Look at me, Im out of place here, I dont fit in. Its like theyre all in a bubble and as hard as I fight to get in, Im always on the outside. They take one look at me and they judge me. But the y dont know me

Will I be always be judged by the pigment of my skin rather than the content of my character? Loneliness is like a disease that kills you on the inside; it pulls the soul out your body. All the ranch workers call me nigger like I am just some animal, trapped and isolated, that cant escape. There are only two words to describe my life: repetitive and discriminating. I think to myself: you laugh at me because I am different well I laugh at you because youreall the same. Obviously, I wouldnt say that, I would be canned. Sometimes I fall into a state of reminiscing about old memories-Good memories- that I can still remember. Also the bad memories. I remember when I was a child, I played with other white boys until my fathers topped me. Both of us wore some raggy denim overalls and a beige tweed hat and both lived at the edge of town. There werent any other black family is the whole of Soledad my father said. I felt special. I felt unique. I felt well none of that was true anyway I was just some ****** that everyone pointed and laughed at. I have tried to forget about my colour but Im constantly reminded by the white man. If I were to die tomorrow what would I have done with my life? Would anyone even care neither notice I was gone. I just hope people in the future dont suffer like me. Will life be any different for thenext generation of black men? This is what I have done so far does anyone know what grade this is or any advice please need to know very quickly. I have never done this before so just need some advice. I hate my life. Every day I suffer. Everyday Im hurt. Everyday Im discriminated against because Im black! I just cant take it anymore! Why do they treat me like this? Im a human being just like they are! Just because Im black they think they can be horrible to me and treat me like an animal. Nobody has got the rights to do that! Underneath, Im exactly like everyone else! I have feelings I can be happy, sad, and angry too. But no, to them Im just a nigger. A worthless human being. Life on the ranch is so painstakingly hard and boring. Every day its the same cycle. I wake up, tend the horses, clean the barn and go to bed. I feel like Im in a nightmare and cant escape. I have nowhere to go, nowhere in on this goddamn earth to go to! Having a crippled back doesnt help either, its always devastatingly painful to even lift myself out of bed! The only thing Im looking forward to is my death, when Ill be able to reunite with my father in heaven and live a peaceful afterlife. Therell be no more pain, no more heartache and no more difficulties. Ill be forever at peace. But until that day Im gonna have to put up with hell. The worst thing about life on the ranch is the loneliness I must face every day. I wish and hope every day with all my heart for a companion. A person to share my feeling with. A person to share stories with and share laughter with. A guy needs somebody to keep him company, a guy goes nuts if he aint got nobody. But the most heart aching thing is that I have no family, I would do anything just to have one. Ill never have the chance to live my American dream, to one day experience the happiness of my childhood. To have my own land, my own family and to not be discriminated against everyday cause of my colour. But all of my hopes have been shattered into a million pieces, and why? Because Im black! I hope that one day everyone will be considered equal to each other. When everyone respects each othe. Guys like me, we aint treated the same (frowns with anger and frustration) as the other guys. (Stands cautiously and stumbles as he walks to the window)

Ya see, im just a busted-back nigger who aint got nobody to turn to. An sometimes I just set in my room figurn bout what my life would be like if I werent black. (Gazes up into the stars through the shiny glass of a cracked window) Spose I werent, I could play cards with the other guys in the bunk house and laugh with em and I could go into town and I would never ever be alone. Life would be swell. (Smiles to himself, his features light up, still gazing into the dark, moonlit sky) I could actually know what it feels like to have someone whos there for me. Its a disease ya know, loneliness. It eats away at you, slowly, tearin you limb from limb. A virus that sends some people insane. When the other guys stabled me in here I was glad o the quiet, but after a while ya just wanna talk to somebody. Back when I was a kid, my ol man used to be outraged when I played with the white kids. I never understood why, but now I do. God damn, (Pauses, as the gloomy emotion wipes from his face and rage takes over. He abruptly closes the thin material of the curtains which hung there) I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. My lifes never gonna change, for as long as I live and for as long as anyone else lives, blacks will always be caged up and treated like a piece of dirt in the corner. W hy cant I just be treated the same? What did I ever do to anyone? I aint hurt nobody, (Crooks comes in with holding his crooked back and he distorts his face) Ouch, my nasty back. (Groans)

Ah Before I sleep, (sits on the chair and grabs his diary) I should write a diary of today.

(Grabs a pen) So today, what I did was... (Thinks for a while) You know what, I ain't gonna write a diary today. (Strikes the desk softly with the pen) I am just gonna talk about it. (Clasps his hands)

So first of all (rests his chin with his hands) I was really pissed off about what Curley's wife spoke to me. (Bangs the desk hard) When she insults on my face, it feels like someone hammering nails on my chest. (Bangs his chest three times with his left fist) That's how I feel

She doesn't treat me as a human.

(Pauses and shouts) She treats me like an animal!

(A pause) I am not a human anymore in her eyes.

(A pause) Just look at how she despises me! She told me that she is gonna strung me up on a tree and it ain't even funny.

(A pause) Are you kidding me? (Open both of his arms with a dumbfounded facial expression) I am a human! (Points at himself using both hands and shouts) Come on! (Bangs the desk with his hand).

We are the same human, man! (Throws his right hand in the air as if he was throwing a Frisbee really hard) You got no rights to speak like that in front of me just because you are white. (Points at the audience with his right hand and pauses) It doesn't make sense.

And this was not the first time (raises his right indent finger to indicate number one and shakes the finger slightly). Whenever she sees me, she called me "nigger" or referred to me as a black human.

(Looks and points at his left arm using his right hand) I know that I have a darker skin compared to hers, but that ain't mean that she can call me using a color or a racial word. Hah (Sighs and rests his head with both of his hands)

(Shakes his head) Why is the world becoming like this?

(A pause) When I was a kid I used to play with the white kids. (Rests his chin and pauses) And we went fishing together. They didn't call me black but called my name "Tom" instead.

(Speaks feebly and stretches his opened left hand) And look at the world right now. Everyone is calling me "black".

(A pause and a long sigh) Hah... The world no longer remembers my name. (A pause) They just refer to me as a nigger.

(With a change of a brighter emotion, he speaks a little more delightfully) But today not only bad things happened actually.

(A pause) For the first time in my life in this ranch, two white people (looks in the air as he is thinking) besides the boss and slim came to my bunk.

(Claps his hands once) Yeah! Candy and Lennie came to my bunk and had a conversation with me.

(A pause and chuckles) It was not just a short conversation. (A big smile in his face) Man, we talked about their dream, which actually sounded a bit extraordinary to me, though.

(A pause) However to be honest, I don't usually allow people to come into my bunk, (his brow crinkles with anger) especially the white ones who claim themselves superior to me.

(A pause) But, Lennie and Candy were different. They were angels compared to those wolves in sheep's clothing.

(A pause) At first I was a little surprised but they were cool (nods). And for the first time in this ranch life (suddenly stands up in excitement)! I felt that I have a true friend whom I could talk to (sits back on his chair). I was just happy that I had someone to talk to cuz I never had someone to have a chat with.

(Grabs one of the books and flips through pages) I just had bunches of

books on my shelf in this stinkin' bunk.

(A pause) What I did when I got bored was just talking to my horses.

(Looks outside the window) They were the only companies that I had in this ranch. (A pause) The animals!

(A pause) But guess what? I talked to real humans today (smiles)!

(A pause) I have always wanted to have a friend so then I could talk about my childhood stories, how good I am in fishing and also about the books that I read. There are tons of things that I can share but I just need someone, (holds his fist tight and a sad expression) just one true friend.

(A pause) And the day came today!

(bangs the desk softly) Unfortunately I couldn't talk about my personal life cuz Candy and Lennie were too excited about their ridiculously crap dream.

(A pause) Lennie always said that he wanna tend the rabbits. (He stutters) I don't... I don't even care about that shit. (A pause) I just appreciate the fact that they came to my bunk and shared their stories because until that time, I was weary of my hand to mouth existence. (Sighs)

(A pause) Another thing is that I regret that I made fun of Lennie. I know he is goddamn dumb. (Points at his own head with left indent finger) His brain ain't functioning as much as ours.

(Pauses and thinks for a while by staring in the air) But I shouldn't have taken advantage on that just because I was smarter than him (shakes his

head). By doing that I am just becoming the same person like Curley's wife who took advantage on black people just because they were white.

(A pause) I know it is late to say sorry to him but I feel really sorry about. Maybe I was jealous of the fact that such a dumb person like Lennie had a friend whereas (points at himself with right indent finger) I didn't have one. (A pause) George is such a good caring friend, who is always there for Lennie wherever he goes and whenever he needs. (A deep sigh)

What I'm sayin' is that I just wish that I had one good friend. (Touches the table feebly)

(A pause) If I didn't tease Lennie at that time, maybe Maybe I could have had a chance to become a real friend with him. Well... (Sighs) But I blew that opportunity... Man

(A pause) I guess I will never have a chance to make a good friend anymore... (A pause) What a sad life (A pause) What a sad world (Grasps his head)

(Shakes his head quickly and slaps his face slightly using both hands) Crooks, but do not give up yourself. (A pause) One day, you will have a great friend who will take a good care of you.

(A pause) The sun will always rise again! (Snaps his finger) So have a good night sleep, man. (Lies down on the floor)