Running Head: CLOUD ARTICLE ALA

Cloud Article ALA: Reading and Analyzing the Language and Grammar By Mohammed Alalshaikh George Mason University

CLOUD ARTICLE ALA

Cloud Article ALA Taking Account of Privacy when designing Cloud Computing Services authored by Siani Pearson, an Oxford graduate in security for cloud research labs, explains in great length the impact of the so-called technological boom. In the last few decades, the world, particularly the United States, has experienced the rapid growth of technological development. From the emergence of personal extra memory storage on the Internet the cloud has become important. Although the world has benefited from the convenience and extra capacity of the cloud, which can be easily accessed from any internet-connected device, the cloud raised some privacy issues. These issues range from the leakage of sensitive or personal information to the loss of the users data. However, despite its ease and convenience, the cloud is still extremely vulnerable to hackers. In this article however, Pearson provides the readers with some of the possible solutions to this privacy dilemma. Pearsons language is professional yet easily understood, the tone shaped from the selections made in this article is calm yet enthusiastic, it shows that the articles discipline is science. The author uses basic grammar which is straightforward, precise and to the point. Her thesis, body and conclusion are very clear and organized into a well-defined and categorized structure. The articles main focus lies in analyzing possible threats that each of these scenarios creates. She describes the scenarios as different sub points and each sub point has bullet points, which describe the risks and possible explanation or solutions to it. After separate analysis, she gives a detailed description of privacy risks for clouding as a whole followed by ways to prevent this risk. Each preventive measure is provided as a

CLOUD ARTICLE ALA

sub point, which seems to be logically constructed in descending order of importance. This is followed by three additional paragraphs describing designs used to make these preventions, their implementation and assessment to measure success. Although, the structure of the article is scientifically and technologically thought out, the authors tone projects devotion, and sympathy regarding human rights. For example in passage 2.1 we see how passionate the author is about protecting privacy rights when she says the following: Privacy is a fundamental human right, enshrined in the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the European Convention on Human Rights. There are various forms of privacy including the right to be left alone and control information about ourselves. Everyone is entitled to basic rights and the author is trying to exercise ethics by making sure that technological advancements would undermine those rights in the future. After analyzing the grammar used in the article, I prepared a data sheet and found that the author has used a consistent amount of sentences in each paragraph, each containing an even amount of independent clauses. However, her English is kept simple which is proved by the lack of compound complex sentences and the use of numerous simple sentences. Most of the paper is written in the active voice and either in present or past tense. For example, in 5.0 she writes There have been a number of high-profile privacy breaches in the news recently. This sentence is clearly simple and is constructed in the past tense form. Sometimes simplicity is the best way to communicate with people because its short and to the point. She is very clever with selecting this format because the topic is very technical and in order to communicate with ethical problems, simple

CLOUD ARTICLE ALA

language is appropriate and effective. Even now and then more complex adverbs are used in place of simple ones, for example using the adverb primarily instead of mainly. This can be seen on pages 47-52, where the adverb primarily is used frequently. Additionally the paper does not possess personal pronouns. In order to make her point simplistic she has used only 29% of the nouns as strong nouns and 71% weak and simple ones. Her direct and indirect quotes are also almost evenly matched at 43% to 57%. Paragraph one (in the data sheet) consists of; three sentences, two independent clauses, two simple sentences, a compound sentence, with an overall of 63 words. Paragraph two (in the data sheet) also has three sentences, but with three independent clauses, and only one simple sentence, combined with two complex sentences, and three indirect quotes with an overall word count of 98 words. Paragraph three has at least five sentences, with four independent clauses, three simple sentences, a complex sentence, a compound sentence, and a total of 121 words according to the data sheet. As mentioned previously, the tone of the article appears to be sympathetic yet passionate. The structure of the article is technical however the information presented is in ordinary and basic language. Again, this method is very clever because the author is trying to argue for human rights while explaining the concept of cloud computing simultaneously. On page 44 of the introduction and abstract the author, have broken the paper into topics. Each topic has a background and detailed description. For more convenience, she has created sub topics to explain each piece of the article in deeper detail on pages 44 through 51. In order to present an opposing view she explains risks and then tells in depth how they can be solved as showed on pages 50 and 51.

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Overall, after reading and summarizing the paper, it is not difficult to spot the fact that the paper contains a good flow and organized structure. Her qualifications and professionalism can be seen through the logical and structural steps provided in her paper. The work opens with a strong introduction, has solid evidence, solutions and opposing views evenly and logically distributed throughout the body. All of this is followed by a strong conclusion that recaps the thesis while leaving the reader with a thought. She uses general and common English not making it too difficult for the audience to digest yet keeping it captivating in order to grab the readers attention. The discipline of the article as we can all see now is science, since the subject concerns cloud data security. In summary, the article is concise, intriguing, and raises a controversial question regarding privacy and basic human rights.

CLOUD ARTICLE ALA

Reference Pearson, S. (2009). Taking Account of Privacy when Designing Cloud Computing Services. www.hpl.hp.com/. Retrieved December 1, 2013 from http://www.hpl.hp.com/techreports/2009/HPL-2009-54.html.

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c a. Introduction is logically arranged and contains the article title, the publication, the authors name and credibility information, and the articles main/central idea

Draft 1 Prof. Brady 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Final Draft Student 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Final Draft Instructors 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

b. Thesis statement makes a claim about effects of the linguistic 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 and structural features of the article in relation to the epistemology, value, or methods of the discipline c. Multiple accurate examples are used to substantiate claim. Very few examples, quotes and page numbers d. Examples are explained and thoroughly analyzed Analysis that we asked for, about tone and values is more or less missing e. Terms and concepts are correctly used and clearly defined when necessary f. Each paragraph introduces and develops one main idea g. Ideas flow logically and smoothly; appropriate and varied transitions h. Conclusion restates thesis in a different way i. Tone is neutral and objective throughout j. Word choice (including word forms) is appropriate, academic, nuanced, and varied 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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CLOUD ARTICLE ALA

k. Reporting verbs clearly show where ideas come from and accurately reflect original authors tone and purpose l. All verbs are correct, including subject/verb agreement and verb tense m. Grammar is correct, including article choice, pronouns, plurals, singulars & possessives n. Sentence structure is varied, sentences are formed correctly with no run-ons or fragments o. Punctuation and spelling are correct p. References list and in-text citations are complete and formatted correctly No colon after the word Reference. Where are the page numbers? OVERALL: Word count needs to be more than double. Failure to analyze both STRUCTURE and LANGUAGE and to answer the questions set out for you (see note above near your thesis) No analysis of specific data, no examples of language elements. This half of the analysis missing.

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F 50

I have added and fixed a lot. I have also added a grammar analysis paragraph like you requested.

C- 70 New comment: I have done what youve requested. Thanks to your comments and added what I believed was necessary. I have perfected the APA format standard. Thank you for your time.