Bringing Down the Moon I dont have long now. Thats what they told me. Malignant tumor.

Inoperable. Months left. Shouldve gone in when I first started feeling it, I guess. Couldve done something then, but I was busy. Always was. My father worked for the spa e program. !efore it shut down, I mean. After it shut down he didnt work for anyone other than old "a k #aniels. $as he the one who planted ideas in my head% !efore he was a dreamer. After not so mu h. I guess I take after him before more than after. I have to work. My heada he isnt so bad yet. I dont feel nauseous. !oss says I should keep working &till I ant. 'es probably right. I dont have long now. I keep saying that to myself, but its hard to believe it. My head doesnt hurt mu h more than a night drinking. I an still work. I an still do whatever I was doing before they told me. !ut they showed me the pi ture. Told me what was happening, what was growing inside me. #eath loves to play at h(up with me. The first one who died was my mother. )o, a tually, now I think of it it was probably my parrot "imbo. 'e died when I was one. My mother died when I was two. An old disease brought in from asteroids the program pi ked up from the planets belt. The *!la k Cough+, I think they alled it. It was wiped out when I was three. I dont remember my mother mu h, but my father told me she was a dreamer too. She loved to look at the moon, he said. ,oved to wat h it with him. I dont have long now. Its getting worse. I vomited today, during work. Middle of the fa tory floor. !oss was upset. I ouldnt are less, but I struggled home with him yelling at me. I dont know why I did, but before I left I stole an ol engine from the fa tory. It was heavy. -etting home I vomited again. More than on e. My heada he was bad until I lied down. )ow Im staring at the engine. It reminds me of my fathers ro kets. 'e drew them on little pie es of paper and flew them over my head. Telling me how hed be in one one day. 'ow Id be in one

one day. I dont have long now. )ow I think I might believe it. My heada he is getting worse. Its hard to work. I keep getting di..y. !oss yelled at me. I told him to fu k off. I think I got fired, I dont really remember. I took some more stuff from work, too. /il. 0ower ouplings. !its and pie es. Maybe its the tumor. The disease. Maybe Im a ting weird be ause I really am dying. Its hard to believe, but now I think I might. I dont think this is going away. "ust like my mothers didnt. "ust like my fathers didnt when he died in a gutter, still dreaming of the moon. I feel strange when I look at the parts. And the parts already in my house. The husk. The frame. The engine. I feel a hand rea hing out to me. It wants to take me to something I abandoned a long time ago. I dont have long now. !ut I know what I have to do. I reali.ed it today while I was staring at the body. I reali.ed why I had taken those things from work. I dont want to be ome my father. I never did. 'e got lost in his dreams of the moon and he broke down when he ouldnt a hieve them. I told myself I ould avoid be oming like him by abandoning my dreams. I had it the wrong way round. I stood up today and I found my pipe wren h. It was rusty, so I oiled it with some of the oil I stole. )ow it works. I found my old s hemati s. They were moth(eaten, I ould barely read them. !ut I an remember them. The heada he makes my mind not work, but I an still remember the blueprints. I dont have long now. My vision is blurry. I see spots. I ant stand up for too long. I ant remember the last time I slept. !ut I still have the pipe wren h in my hand. After dark last night I snu k into my old work and stole more parts. I have what I need now, I think. After so long. As I work I think of my fathers words. 'e told me of the stars and the planets and how glorious it all was. 1ven after the spa e department losed. 1ven after his dreams were

shot down. I an almost feel him with me. 1n ouraging me. I dont have long now. I feel better today. I feel better than I have in a while. It probably means the end is soon. I havent kept tra k of days. Today I finished the inside and now I have to finish the body. I an feel my father and mother with me. I know theyre wat hing. Its right. I dont have long now. !ut it doesnt matter. Im done. After all this time Im done. After so many distra tions. After work. After life. After putting away dreams to die. Im done. #one. And its beautiful. I ried today, for the first time in a long time. The onvulsions made my heada he and my nausea and my weakness ome ba k. I dont have long now. /nly a matter of days, probably. My health will des end rapidly from now on, I think. Its probably not safe, my dream. !ut that doesnt really matter at this point, does it% I an see my father and mother waving as I limb in. As I lose my eyes I hear them whisper en ouragement. I feel their hands with me as I pull the ignition and it begins to move and I feel the searing heat on my body. I see them smile behind my eyelids as I lift into the air. I feel them bringing down the moon to meet me.