FAKE DARREN HEITNER LAW, LLP

FAKE DARREN HEITNER LAW, LLP

ATTORNEYS AT LAW

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FOR ENTERTAINMENT AND MATRIMONIAL PURPOSES ONLY

Via e-mail to heitner@gmail.com May 23, 2014
Real Darren DLish Heitner, Esq.
Chief Executive Officer
Dynasty Dealings, LLC
Collegiate Sports Advisors, LLC
Fweago Entertainment, LLC
Super Music Management, LLC
Get Weird Entertainment, LLC
Alpha King Media, LLC
Sugartime The Sports Agency, LLC
Still Play Records, LLC
Get Weird Publishing, LLC
VVJ, LLC
Bingobango, LLC
Ella Productions, LLC
Nutrition21, LLC
Vivo Vodka, Inc.
Solace Sports, Inc.
1060 Scarlet Oak Street
Hollywood, FL 33019

Re: Case: In Re: The Wedding of Jeffrey Goldstein and Kelsey Mitman
Date of Wedding: May 31, 2014
Case Nos.: VU34 UF17, UM21 UF16, GSU26 UF20 (Consolidated)

Dear Mr. Real Darren DLish Heitner:

Please be advised that I represent Jeffrey Goldstein & Kelsey Mitman (hereinafter known as The
Bride and Groom) in the above-referenced wedding (hereinafter, the Wedding). Subject to the terms set
forth below, my clients demand the presence of your company (including, but not limited to, your semi-bare
chest and spiked hair) at the Wedding on May 31, 2014 taking place at the Amelia Island Plantation in
Amelia Island, Florida.

Specifically, my clients make the following demands in connection with your attendance at the
Wedding: (1) that you provide them with a personalized, signed copy of the book titled, How To Play The
Game: What Every Sports Attorney Needs To Know, ISBN 978-61438-916-3 (hereinafter,
HTPTG:WESANTK); (2) that you provide them a signed glossy photograph of you holding the same
signed copy of HTPTG:WESANTK for verification purposes; and (3) that you provide a heartfelt follow-up
letter to Jamari on what it means to find true love in the big, scary world of athlete representation.
Furthermore, as a condition of your acceptance of this invitation, you must warrant to The Bride and Groom
that you will dance with at least three (3) female Wedding guests over the age of 40. Finally, you must



FAKE DARREN HEITNER LAW, LLP.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW

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agree to attend the wedding in these pants: (which can be found at:
http://www.bonobos.com/national-panthems). Failure to complete all of these requests to the satisfaction of
The Bride and Groom will result in your expulsion from the wedding by Scary Gary Clark, Phil Bullets
Minasi and Jason The Wedding Bouncer Silver, Esq.

Should you accept these conditions, The Bride and Groom would be delighted to have you join
them to celebrate and commemorate this joyous and matrimonious occasion. At this late hour, my clients
cannot guarantee you a specific table or seating arrangement at the Wedding, but The Bride and Groom can
assure that you will have unfettered access to the open bar and will be served the Kosher entre while
standing adjacent to said bar, if available.

As the wedding is proceeding in less than a weeks time, my clients regrettably were unable to send
you a formal invitation on proper cardstock. However, it is my understanding that the formal invitations
were quite nice. Accordingly, I have enclosed for your consideration a black and white copy of a facsimile
of an iPhone photograph of an authentic invitation. Should you need any other information relating to the
Wedding, please do not hesitate to visit http://www.theknot.com/wedding/Jeff-Kelsey.

Your response to this letter is due via facebook message or email by Noon tomorrow. Please notify
the undersigned whether you accept or reject my clients demands and invitation. Should you reject these
demands, please be advised that my clients intend to pursue any and all remedies available to them,
including, without limitation, (1) telling Jamari that his hero is a total loser, (2) encouraging Abi Fried
Somerstein to spend two (2) consecutive hours at your apartment belligerently complaining about counsel
for The Bride and Groom, Howard W. Myones, Esq., and (3) distributing an anonymous letter to Darren
Rovell insinuating that you masturbate to his twitter account on a daily basis.

GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY.

Very truly yours,

Fake Darren Heitner
Fake Darren Heitner, Esq.
For the Firm

Enclosure as indicated
Cc: Co-counsel for Plaintiff, Marc Burton, Esq.
Co-counsel for Plaintiff, Howard W. Myones, Esq.
The Bride and Groom