AUTHOR'S NOTE

To an extent, this novel deals with the legal aspects of child custody in the State of aine! " as#ed
fo$ help in unde$standing this su%&ect f$o' 'y f$iend (a$$en Silve$, who is a fine atto$ney! (a$$en
guided 'e ca$efully, and along the way he also told 'e a%out a )uaint old device called the
Steno'as#, which " i''ediately app$op$iated fo$ 'y own fell pu$poses! "f "'ve 'ade p$ocedu$al
'ista#es in the sto$y which follows, %la'e 'e, not 'y legal $esou$ce! (a$$en also as#ed 'e**
$athe$ plaintively + if " could 'ay%e put a 'good' lawye$ in 'y %oo#! All " can say is that " did 'y
%est in that $ega$d!
Than#s to 'y son Owen fo$ technical suppo$t in (oodstoc#, New ,o$#, and to 'y f$iend -and
fellow Roc# .otto' Re'ainde$/ Ridley 0ea$son fo$ technical suppo$t in 1etchu', "daho! Than#s
to 0a' 2o$'an fo$ he$ sy'pathetic and pe$ceptive $eading of the fi$st d$aft! Than#s to 3huc#
4e$$ill fo$ a 'onu'ental editing &o%**you$ pe$sonal %est, 3huc#! Than#s to Susan oldow, Nan
5$aha', 6ac# Ro'an s, and 3a$olyn Reidy at Sc$i%ne$ fo$ ca$e and feeding! And than#s to Ta%%y,
who was the$e fo$ 'e again when things got ha$d! " love you, hon!
S!1!
,es, .a$tle%y, stay the$e %ehind you$ sc$een, thought "7
" shall pe$secute you no 'o$e7 you a$e ha$'less and
noiseless as any of these old chai$s7 in sho$t, " neve$ feel
so p$ivate as when " #now you a$e he$e!
'Bartleby'
HERAN E84"88E
8ast night " d$ea't " went to ande$ley again ! ! !
As " stood the$e, hushed and still, " could swea$ that
the house was not an e'pty shell %ut lived and %$eathed
as it had lived %efo$e!
Rebecca
2A0HNE 2U AUR"ER
a$s is heaven!
RA, .RA2.UR,
.A5 O9 .ONES
3HA0TER ONE
On a ve$y hot day in August of :;;<, 'y wife told 'e she was going down to the 2e$$y Rite Aid to
pic# up a $efill on he$ sinus 'edicine p$esc$iption + this is stuff you can %uy ove$ the counte$
these days, " %elieve! "'d finished 'y w$iting fo$ the day and offe$ed to pic# it up fo$ he$! She said
than#s, %ut she wanted to get a piece of fish at the supe$'a$#et next doo$ anyway7 two %i$ds with
one stone and all of that! She %lew a #iss at 'e off the pal' of he$ hand and went out! The next
ti'e " saw he$, she was on T4! That's how you identify the dead he$e in 2e$$y + no wal#ing down
a su%te$$anean co$$ido$ with g$een tiles on the walls and long fluo$escent %a$s ove$head, no na#ed
%ody $olling out of a chilly d$awe$ on caste$s7 you &ust go into an office 'a$#ed 0R"4ATE and loo#
at a T4 sc$een and say yep o$ nope!
The Rite Aid and the Shopwell a$e less than a 'ile f$o' ou$ house, in a little neigh%o$hood st$ip
'all which also suppo$ts a video sto$e, a used*%oo# sto$e na'ed Sp$ead "t A$ound -they do a ve$y
%$is# %usiness in 'y old pape$%ac#s/, a Radio Shac#, and a 9ast 9oto! "t's on Up*ile Hill, at the
inte$section of (itcha' and 6ac#son!
She pa$#ed in f$ont of .loc#%uste$ 4ideo, went into the d$ugsto$e, and did %usiness with $! 6oe
(y=e$, who was the d$uggist in those days7 he has since 'oved on to the Rite Aid in .ango$! At
the chec#out she pic#ed up one of those little chocolates with 'a$sh'allow inside, this one in the
shape of a 'ouse! " found it late$, in he$ pu$se! " unw$apped it and ate it 'yself, sitting at the
#itchen ta%le with the contents of he$ $ed hand%ag sp$ead out in f$ont of 'e, and it was li#e ta#ing
3o''union! (hen it was gone except fo$ the taste of chocolate on 'y tongue and in 'y th$oat, "
%u$st into tea$s! " sat the$e in the litte$ of he$ 1leenex and 'a#eup and #eys and half*finished $olls
of 3e$ts and c$ied with 'y hands ove$ 'y eyes, the way a #id c$ies!
The sinus inhale$ was in a Rite Aid %ag! "t had cost twelve dolla$s and eighteen cents! The$e was
so'ething else in the %ag, too + an ite' which had cost twenty*two*fifty! " loo#ed at this othe$
ite' fo$ a long ti'e, seeing it %ut not unde$standing it! " was su$p$ised, 'ay%e even stunned, %ut
the idea that 6ohanna A$len Noonan 'ight have %een leading anothe$ life, one " #new nothing
a%out, neve$ c$ossed 'y 'ind! Not then!
6o left the $egiste$, wal#ed out into the %$ight, ha''e$ing sun again, swapping he$ $egula$ glasses
fo$ he$ p$esc$iption sunglasses as she did, and &ust as she stepped f$o' %eneath the d$ugsto$e's
slight ove$hang -" a' i'agining a little he$e, " suppose, c$ossing ove$ into the count$y of the
novelist a little, %ut not %y 'uch7 only %y inches, and you can t$ust 'e on that/, the$e was that
sh$ewish howl of loc#ed ti$es on pave'ent that 'eans the$e's going to %e eithe$ an accident o$ a
ve$y close call!
This ti'e it happened + the so$t of accident which happened at that stupid >*shaped
inte$section at least once a wee#, it see'ed! A :;?; Toyota was pulling out of the shopping*cente$
pa$#ing lot and tu$ning left onto 6ac#son St$eet! .ehind the wheel was $s! Esthe$ Easte$ling of
.a$$ett's O$cha$ds! She was acco'panied %y he$ f$iend $s "$ene 2eo$sey, also of .a$$ett's
O$cha$ds, who had shopped the video sto$e without finding anything she wanted to $ent! Too 'uch
violence, "$ene said! .oth wo'en we$e ciga$ette widows! Esthe$ could ha$dly have 'issed the
o$ange 0u%lic (o$#s du'p t$uc# co'ing down the hill7 although she denied this to the police, to
the newspape$, and to 'e when " tal#ed to he$ so'e two 'onths late$, " thin# it li#ely that she &ust
fo$got to loo#! As 'y own 'othe$ -anothe$ ciga$ette widow/ used to say, 'The two 'ost co''on
ail'ents of the elde$ly a$e a$th$itis and fo$getfulness! They can't %e held $esponsi%le fo$ neithe$!'
2$iving the 0u%lic (o$#s t$uc# was (illia' 9$a#e$, of Old 3ape! $! 9$a#e$ was thi$ty*eight
yea$s old on the day of 'y wife's death, d$iving with his shi$t off and thin#ing how %adly he
wanted a cool showe$ and a cold %ee$, not necessa$ily in that o$de$! He and th$ee othe$ 'en had
spent eight hou$s putting down asphalt patch out on the Ha$$is Avenue Extension nea$ the ai$po$t, a
hot &o% on a hot day, and .ill 9$a#e$ said yeah, he 'ight have %een going a little too fast + 'ay%e
fo$ty in a thi$ty*'ile*an*hou$ =one! He was eage$ to get %ac# to the ga$age, sign off on the t$uc#,
and get %ehind the wheel of his own 9*:@A, which had ai$ conditioning! Also, the du'p t$uc#'s
%$a#es, while good enough to pass inspection, we$e a long way f$o' tip*top condition! 9$a#e$ hit
the' as soon as he saw the Toyota pull out in f$ont of hi' -he hit his ho$n, as well/, %ut it was too
late! He hea$d sc$ea'ing ti$es + his own, and Esthe$'s as she %elatedly $eali=ed he$ dange$ + and
saw he$ face fo$ &ust a 'o'ent!
'That was the wo$st pa$t, so'ehow,' he told 'e as we sat on his po$ch, d$in#ing %ee$s + it was
Octo%e$ %y then, and although the sun was wa$' on ou$ faces, we we$e %oth wea$ing sweate$s!
',ou #now how high up you sit in one of those du'p t$uc#sB ' " nodded! '(ell, she was loo#ing up
to see 'e + craning up, you'd say + and the sun was full in he$ face! " could see how old she was!
" $e'e'%e$ thin#ing, 'Holy shit, she's gonna %$ea# li#e glass if " can't stop!' .ut old people a$e
tough, 'o$e often than not! They can su$p$ise you! " 'ean, loo# at how it tu$ned out, %oth those old
%iddies still alive, and you$ wife ! ! ! '
He stopped then, %$ight $ed colo$ dashing into his chee#s, 'a#ing hi' loo# li#e a %oy who has
%een laughed at in the schoolya$d %y gi$ls who have noticed his fly is un=ipped! "t was co'ical, %ut
if "'d s'iled, it only would have confused hi'!
'$! Noonan, "'' so$$y! y 'outh &ust so$t of $an away with 'e!'
'"t's all $ight,' " told hi'! '"'' ove$ the wo$st of it, anyway!' That was a lie, %ut it put us %ac# on
t$ac#!
'Anyway,' he said, 'we hit! The$e was a loud %ang, and a c$u'ping sound when the d$ive$'s side
of the ca$ caved in! .$ea#ing glass, too! " was th$own against the wheel ha$d enough so " couldn't
d$aw a %$eath without it hu$ting fo$ a wee# o$ 'o$e, and " had a %ig %$uise $ight he$e!' He d$ew an
a$c on his chest &ust %elow the colla$%ones! '" %anged 'y head on the windshield ha$d enough to
c$ac# the glass, %ut all " got up the$e was a little pu$ple #no% ! ! ! no %leeding, not even a headache!
y wife says "'ve &ust got a natu$ally thic# s#ull! " saw the wo'an d$iving the Toyota, $s!
Easte$ling, th$own ac$oss the console %etween the f$ont %uc#et seats! Then we we$e finally stopped,
all tangled togethe$ in the 'iddle of the st$eet, and " got out to see how %ad they we$e! " tell you, "
expected to find the' %oth dead!'
Neithe$ of the' was dead, neithe$ of the' was even unconscious, although $s! Easte$ling had
th$ee %$o#en $i%s and a dislocated hip! $s! 2eo$sey, who had %een a seat away f$o' the i'pact,
suffe$ed a concussion when she $apped he$ head on he$ window! That was all7 she was 't$eated and
$eleased at Ho'e Hospital,' as the Derry News always puts it in such cases!
y wife, the fo$'e$ 6ohanna A$len of alden, assachusetts, saw it all f$o' whe$e she stood
outside the d$ugsto$e, with he$ pu$se slung ove$ he$ shoulde$ and he$ p$esc$iption %ag in one hand!
8i#e .ill 9$a#e$, she 'ust have thought the occupants of the Toyota we$e eithe$ dead o$ se$iously
hu$t! The sound of the collision had %een a hollow, autho$itative %ang which $olled th$ough the hot
afte$noon ai$ li#e a %owling %all down an alley! The sound of %$ea#ing glass edged it li#e &agged
lace! The two vehicles we$e tangled violently togethe$ in the 'iddle of 6ac#son St$eet, the di$ty
o$ange t$uc# loo'ing ove$ the pale*%lue i'po$t li#e a %ullying pa$ent ove$ a cowe$ing child!
6ohanna %egan to sp$int ac$oss the pa$#ing lot towa$d the st$eet! Othe$s we$e doing the sa'e all
a$ound he$! One of the', iss 6ill 2un%a$$y, had %een window*shopping at Radio Shac# when the
accident occu$$ed! She said she thought she $e'e'%e$ed $unning past 6ohanna + at least she was
p$etty su$e she $e'e'%e$ed so'eone in yellow slac#s + %ut she couldn't %e su$e! .y then, $s!
Easte$ling was sc$ea'ing that she was hu$t, they we$e %oth hu$t, wouldn't so'e%ody help he$ and
he$ f$iend "$ene!
Halfway ac$oss the pa$#ing lot, nea$ a little cluste$ of newspape$ dispense$s, 'y wife fell down!
He$ pu$se*st$ap stayed ove$ he$ shoulde$, %ut he$ p$esc$iption %ag slipped f$o' he$ hand, and the
sinus inhale$ slid halfway out! The othe$ ite' stayed put!
No one noticed he$ lying the$e %y the newspape$ dispense$s7 eve$yone was focused on the
tangled vehicles, the sc$ea'ing wo'en, the sp$eading puddle of wate$ and antif$ee=e f$o' the
0u%lic (o$#s t$uc#'s $uptu$ed $adiato$! -'That's gasC' the cle$# f$o' 9ast 9oto shouted to anyone
who would listen! 'That's gas, watch out she don't %low, fellasC'/ " suppose one o$ two of the would*
%e $escue$s 'ight have &u'ped $ight ove$ he$, pe$haps thin#ing she had fainted! To assu'e such a
thing on a day when the te'pe$atu$e was pushing ninety*five deg$ees would not have %een
un$easona%le!
Roughly two do=en people f$o' the shopping cente$ cluste$ed a$ound the accident7 anothe$ fou$
do=en o$ so ca'e $unning ove$ f$o' St$awfo$d 0a$#, whe$e a %ase%all ga'e had %een going on! "
i'agine that all the things you would expect to hea$ in such situations we$e said, 'any of the'
'o$e than once! illing a$ound! So'eone $eaching th$ough the 'isshapen hole which had %een the
d$ive$'s*side window to pat Esthe$'s t$e'%ling old hand! 0eople i''ediately giving way fo$ 6oe
(y=e$7 at such 'o'ents anyone in a white coat auto'atically %eco'es the %elle of the %all! "n the
distance, the wa$%le of an a'%ulance si$en $ising li#e sha#y ai$ ove$ an incine$ato$!
All du$ing this, lying unnoticed in the pa$#ing lot, was 'y wife with he$ pu$se still ove$ he$
shoulde$ -inside, still w$apped in foil, he$ uneaten chocolate*'a$sh'allow 'ouse/ and he$ white
p$esc$iption %ag nea$ one outst$etched hand! "t was 6oe (y=e$, hu$$ying %ac# to the pha$'acy to
get a co'p$ession %andage fo$ "$ene 2eo$sey's head, who spotted he$! He $ecogni=ed he$ even
though she was lying face*down! He $ecogni=ed he$ %y he$ $ed hai$, white %louse, and yellow
slac#s! He $ecogni=ed he$ %ecause he had waited on he$ not fifteen 'inutes %efo$e!
'$s! NoonanB' he as#ed, fo$getting all a%out the co'p$ession %andage fo$ the da=ed %ut
appa$ently not too %adly hu$t "$ene 2eo$sey! '$s! Noonan, a$e you all $ightB' 1nowing al$eady -o$
so " suspect7 pe$haps " a' w$ong/ that she was not!
He tu$ned he$ ove$! "t too# %oth hands to do it, and even then he had to wo$# ha$d, #neeling and
pushing and lifting the$e in the pa$#ing lot with the heat %a#ing down f$o' a%ove and then
%ouncing %ac# up f$o' the asphalt! 2ead people put on weight, it see's to 'e7 %oth in thei$ flesh
and in ou$ 'inds, they put on weight!
The$e we$e $ed 'a$#s on he$ face! (hen " identified he$ " could see the' clea$ly even on the
video 'onito$! " sta$ted to as# the assistant 'edical exa'ine$ what they we$e, %ut then " #new! 8ate
August, hot pave'ent, ele'enta$y, 'y dea$ (atson! y wife died getting a sun%u$n!
(y=e$ got up, saw that the a'%ulance had a$$ived, and $an towa$d it! He pushed his way th$ough
the c$owd and g$a%%ed one of the attendants as he got out f$o' %ehind the wheel! 'The$e's a wo'an
ove$ the$e,' (y=e$ said, pointing towa$d the pa$#ing lot!
'5uy, we've got two wo'en $ight he$e, and a 'an as well,' the attendant said! He t$ied to pull
away, %ut (y=e$ held on!
'Neve$ 'ind the' $ight now,' he said! 'They'$e %asically o#ay! The wo'an ove$ the$e isn't!'
The wo'an ove$ the$e was dead, and "'' p$etty su$e 6oe (y=e$ #new it ! ! ! %ut he had his
p$io$ities st$aight! 5ive hi' that! And he was convincing enough to get %oth pa$a'edics 'oving
away f$o' the tangle of t$uc# and Toyota, in spite of Esthe$ Easte$ling's c$ies of pain and the
$u'%les of p$otest f$o' the 5$ee# cho$us!
(hen they got to 'y wife, one of the pa$a'edics was )uic# to confi$' what 6oe (y=e$ had
al$eady suspected! 'Holy shit,' the othe$ one said! '(hat happened to he$B'
'Hea$t, 'ost li#ely,' the fi$st one said! 'She got excited and it &ust %lew out on he$!'
.ut it wasn't he$ hea$t! The autopsy $evealed a %$ain aneu$ys' which she 'ight have %een living
with, all un#nown, fo$ as long as five yea$s! As she sp$inted ac$oss the pa$#ing lot towa$d the
accident, that wea# vessel in he$ ce$e%$al co$tex had %lown li#e a ti$e, d$owning he$ cont$ol*cente$s
in %lood and #illing he$! 2eath had p$o%a%ly not %een instantaneous, the assistant 'edical exa'ine$
told 'e, %ut it had still co'e swiftly enough ! ! ! and she wouldn't have suffe$ed! 6ust one %ig %lac#
nova, all sensation and thought gone even %efo$e she hit the pave'ent!
'3an " help you in any way, $! NoonanB' the assistant E as#ed, tu$ning 'e gently away f$o'
the still face and closed eyes on the video 'onito$! '2o you have )uestionsB "'ll answe$ the' if "
can!'
'6ust one,' " said!
" told hi' what she'd pu$chased in the d$ugsto$e &ust %efo$e she died! Then " as#ed 'y )uestion!
The days leading up to the fune$al and the fune$al itself a$e d$ea'li#e in 'y 'e'o$y + the
clea$est 'e'o$y " have is of eating 6o's chocolate 'ouse and c$ying ! ! ! c$ying 'ostly, " thin#,
%ecause " #new how soon the taste of it would %e gone! " had one othe$ c$ying fit a few days afte$
we %u$ied he$, and " will tell you a%out that one sho$tly!
" was glad fo$ the a$$ival of 6o's fa'ily, and pa$ticula$ly fo$ the a$$ival of he$ oldest %$othe$,
9$an#! "t was 9$an# A$len + fifty, $ed*chee#ed, po$tly, and with a head of lush da$# hai$ + who
o$gani=ed the a$$ange'ents ! ! ! who wound up actually dickering with the fune$al di$ecto$!
'" can't %elieve you did that,' " said late$, as we sat in a %ooth at 6ac#'s 0u%, d$in#ing %ee$s!
'He was t$ying to stic# it to you, i#ey,' he said! '" hate guys li#e that!' He $eached into his %ac#
poc#et, %$ought out a hand#e$chief, and wiped a%sently at his chee#s with it! He hadn't %$o#en
down + none of the A$lens %$o#e down, at least not when " was with the' + %ut 9$an# had lea#ed
steadily all day7 he loo#ed li#e a 'an suffe$ing f$o' seve$e con&unctivitis!
The$e had %een six A$len si%s in all, 6o the youngest and the only gi$l! She had %een the pet of
he$ %ig %$othe$s! " suspect that if "'d had anything to do with he$ death, the five of the' would have
to$n 'e apa$t with thei$ %a$e hands! As it was, they fo$'ed a p$otective shield a$ound 'e instead,
and that was good! " suppose " 'ight have 'uddled th$ough without the', %ut " don't #now how!
" was thi$ty*six, $e'e'%e$! ,ou don't expect to have to %u$y you$ wife when you'$e thi$ty*six
and she he$self is two yea$s younge$! 2eath was the last thing on ou$ 'inds!
'"f a guy gets caught ta#ing you$ ste$eo out of you$ ca$, they call it theft and put hi' in &ail,'
9$an# said! The A$lens had co'e f$o' assachusetts, and " could still hea$ alden in 9$an#'s
voice + caught was coowat, ca$ was cah, call was caul! '"f the sa'e guy is t$ying to sell a g$ieving
hus%and a th$ee*thousand*dolla$ cas#et fo$ fo$ty*five hund$ed dolla$s, they call it %usiness and as#
hi' to spea# at the Rota$y 3lu% luncheon! 5$eedy asshole, " fed hi' his lunch, didn't "B'
',es! ,ou did!'
',ou o#ay, i#eyB'
'"'' o#ay!'
'Since$ely o#ayB'
'How the fuc# should " #nowB' " as#ed hi', loud enough to tu$n so'e heads in a nea$%y %ooth!
And thenD 'She was p$egnant!'
His face g$ew ve$y still! 'What?'
" st$uggled to #eep 'y voice down! '0$egnant! Six o$ seven wee#s, acco$ding to the ! ! ! you
#now, the autopsy! 2id you #nowB 2id she tell youB'
'NoC 3h$ist, noC' .ut the$e was a funny loo# on his face, as if she had told hi' something! '" #new
you we$e t$ying, of cou$se ! ! ! she said you had a low spe$' count and it 'ight ta#e a little while,
%ut the docto$ thought you guys'd p$o%a%ly ! ! ! soone$ o$ late$ you'd p$o%a%ly ! ! ! ' He t$ailed off,
loo#ing down at his hands! 'They can tell that, huhB They chec# fo$ thatB'
'They can tell! As fo$ chec#ing, " don't #now if they do it auto'atically o$ not! " as#ed!'
'(hyB'
'She didn't &ust %uy sinus 'edicine %efo$e she died! She also %ought one of those ho'e
p$egnancy*testing #its!'
',ou had no ideaB No clueB'
" shoo# 'y head! He $eached ac$oss the ta%le and s)uee=ed 'y shoulde$! 'She wanted to %e su$e,
that's all! ,ou #now that, don't youB'
A refill on my sinus medicine and a piece of fish, she'd said! 8oo#ing li#e always! A wo'an off
to $un a couple of e$$ands! (e had %een t$ying to have a #id fo$ eight yea$s, %ut she had loo#ed &ust
li#e always!
'Su$e,' " said, patting 9$an#'s hand! 'Su$e, %ig guy! " #now!'
"t was the A$lens + led %y 9$an# who handled 6ohanna's send off! As the w$ite$ of the fa'ily, "
was assigned the o%itua$y! y %$othe$ ca'e up f$o' 4i$ginia with 'y 'o' and 'y aunt and was
allowed to tend the guest*%oo# at the viewings! y 'othe$ + al'ost co'pletely ga*ga at the age
of sixty*six, although the docto$s $efused to call it Al=hei'e$'s + lived in e'phis with he$ siste$,
two yea$s younge$ and only slightly less won#y! They we$e in cha$ge of cutting the ca#e and the
pies at the fune$al $eception!
Eve$ything else was a$$anged %y the A$lens, f$o' the viewing hou$s to the co'ponents of the
fune$al ce$e'ony! 9$an# and 4icto$, the second*youngest %$othe$, spo#e %$ief t$i%utes! 6o's dad
offe$ed a p$aye$ fo$ his daughte$'s soul! And at the end, 0ete .$eedlove, the %oy who cut ou$ g$ass
in the su''e$ and $a#ed ou$ ya$d in the fall, %$ought eve$yone to tea$s %y singing '.lessed
Assu$ance,' which 9$an# said had %een 6o's favo$ite hy'n as a gi$l! How 9$an# found 0ete and
pe$suaded hi' to sing at the fune$al is so'ething " neve$ found out!
(e got th$ough it + the afte$noon and evening viewings on Tuesday, the fune$al se$vice on
(ednesday 'o$ning, then the little p$ay*ove$ at 9ai$lawn 3e'ete$y! (hat " $e'e'%e$ 'ost was
thin#ing how hot it was, how lost " felt without having 6o to tal# to, and that " wished " had %ought
a new pai$ of shoes! 6o would have peste$ed 'e to death a%out the ones " was wea$ing, if she had
%een the$e!
8ate$ on " tal#ed to 'y %$othe$, Sid, told hi' we had to do so'ething a%out ou$ 'othe$ and Aunt
9$ancine %efo$e the two of the' disappea$ed co'pletely into the Twilight Eone! They we$e too
young fo$ a nu$sing ho'e7 what did Sid adviseB
He advised so'ething, %ut "'ll %e da'ned if " #now what it was! " ag$eed to it, " $e'e'%e$ that,
%ut not what it was! 8ate$ that day, Siddy, ou$ 'o', and ou$ aunt cli'%ed %ac# into Siddy's $ental
ca$ fo$ the d$ive to .oston, whe$e they would spend the night and then g$a% the Southern rescent
the following day! y %$othe$ is happy enough to chape$one the old fol#s, %ut he doesn't fly, even
if the tic#ets a$e on 'e! He clai's the$e a$e no %$ea#down lanes in the s#y if the engine )uits!
ost of the A$lens left the next day! Once 'o$e it was dog*hot, the sun gla$ing out of a white*
ha=e s#y and lying on eve$ything li#e 'elted %$ass! They stood in f$ont of ou$ house + which had
%eco'e solely 'y house' %y then + with th$ee taxis lined up at the cu$% %ehind the', %ig galoots
hugging one anothe$ a'id the litte$ of tote*%ags and saying thei$ good%yes in those foggy
assachusetts accents!
9$an# stayed anothe$ day! (e pic#ed a %ig %unch of flowe$s %ehind the house + not those
ghastly*s'elling hothouse things whose a$o'a " always associate with death and o$gan*'usic %ut
$eal flowe$s, the #ind 6o li#ed %est + and stuc# the' in a couple of coffee cans " found in the %ac#
pant$y! (e went out to 9ai$lawn and put the' on the new g$ave! Then we &ust sat the$e fo$ awhile
unde$ the %eating sun!
'She was always &ust the sweetest thing in 'y life,' 9$an# said at last in a st$ange, 'uffled voice!
'(e too# ca$e of 6o when we we$e #ids! Us guys! No one 'essed with 6o, "'ll tell you! Anyone
t$ied, we'd feed e' thei$ lunch!'
'She told 'e a lot of sto$ies!'
'5ood onesB'
',eah, $eal good!'
'"'' going to 'iss he$ so 'uch!'
'e, too,' " said! '9$an# ! ! ! listen ! ! ! " #now you we$e he$ favo$ite %$othe$! She neve$ called
you, 'ay%e &ust to say that she 'issed a pe$iod o$ was feeling whoopsy in the 'o$ningB ,ou can
tell 'e! " won't %e pissed!'
'.ut she didn't! Honest to 5od! Was she whoopsy in the 'o$ningB'
'Not that " saw!' And that was &ust it! " hadn't seen anything! Of cou$se "'d %een w$iting, and when
" w$ite " p$etty 'uch t$ance out! .ut she #new whe$e " went in those t$ances! She could have found
'e and sha#en 'e fully awa#e! (hy hadn't sheB (hy would she hide good newsB Not wanting to
tell 'e until she was su$e was plausi%le ! ! ! %ut it so'ehow wasn't 6o!
'(as it a %oy o$ a gi$lB' he as#ed!
'A gi$l!'
(e'd had na'es pic#ed out and waiting fo$ 'ost of ou$ 'a$$iage! A %oy would have %een
And$ew! Ou$ daughte$ would have %een 1ia! 1ia 6ane Noonan!
9$an#, divo$ced six yea$s and on his own, had %een staying with 'e! On ou$ way %ac# to the house
he said, '" wo$$y a%out you, i#ey! ,ou haven't got 'uch fa'ily to fall %ac# on at a ti'e li#e this,
and what you do have is fa$ away!'
'"'ll %e all $ight,' " said! He nodded!
'That's what we say, anyway, isn't itB'
'(eB'
'5uys! "'ll %e all $ight!'
And if we'$e not, we t$y to 'a#e su$e no one #nows it!' He loo#ed at 'e, eyes still lea#ing,
hand#e$chief in one %ig sun%u$ned hand! '"f you'$e not all $ight, i#ey, and you don't want to call
you$ %$othe$ + " saw the way you loo#ed at hi' + let 'e %e you$ %$othe$! 9o$ 6o's sa#e if not you$
own!'
'O#ay,' " said, $especting and app$eciating the offe$, also #nowing " would do no such thing! "
don't call people fo$ help! "t's not %ecause of the way " was $aised, at least " don't thin# so7 it's the
way " was 'ade! 6ohanna once said that if " was d$owning at 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e, whe$e we have a
su''e$ ho'e, " would die silently fifty feet out f$o' the pu%lic %each $athe$ than yell fo$ help! "t's
not a )uestion of love o$ affection! " can give those and " can ta#e the'! " feel pain li#e anyone else!
" need to touch and %e touched! .ut if so'eone as#s 'e, 'A$e you all $ightB' " can't answe$ no! "
can't say help 'e!
A couple of hou$s late$ 9$an# left fo$ the southe$n end of the state! (hen he opened the ca$ doo$,
" was touched to see that the taped %oo# he was listening to was one of 'ine! He hugged 'e, then
su$p$ised 'e with a #iss on the 'outh, a good ha$d s'ac#! '"f you need to tal#, call,' he said! 'And if
you need to %e with so'eone, &ust co'e!'
" nodded!
'And %e ca$eful!'
That sta$tled 'e! The co'%ination of heat and g$ief had 'ade 'e feel as if " had %een living in a
d$ea' fo$ the last few days, %ut that got th$ough!
'3a$eful of whatB'
'" don't #now,' he said! '" don't #now, i#ey!' Then he got into his ca$ + he was so %ig and it was
so little that he loo#ed as if he we$e wea$ing it + and d$ove away! The sun was going down %y
then! 2o you #now how the sun loo#s at the end of a hot day in August, all o$ange and so'ehow
s!uashed, as if an invisi%le hand we$e pushing down on the top of it and at any 'o'ent it 'ight
&ust pop li#e an ove$filled 'os)uito and splatte$ all ove$ the ho$i=onB "t was li#e that! "n the east,
whe$e it was al$eady da$#, thunde$ was $u'%ling! .ut the$e was no $ain that night, only a da$# that
ca'e down as thic# and stifling as a %lan#et! All the sa'e, " slipped in f$ont of the wo$d p$ocesso$
and w$ote fo$ an hou$ o$ so! "t went p$etty well, as " $e'e'%e$! And you #now, even when it
doesn't, it passes the ti'e!
y second c$ying fit ca'e th$ee o$ fou$ days afte$ the fune$al! That sense of %eing in a d$ea'
pe$sisted + " wal#ed, " tal#ed, " answe$ed the phone, " wo$#ed on 'y %oo#, which had %een a%out
eighty pe$cent co'plete when 6o died + %ut all the ti'e the$e was this clea$ sense of
disconnection, a feeling that eve$ything was going on at a distance f$o' the $eal 'e, that " was
'o$e o$ less phoning it in!
2enise .$eedlove, 0ete's 'othe$, called and as#ed if " wouldn't li#e he$ to %$ing a couple of he$
f$iends ove$ one day the following wee# and give the %ig old Edwa$dian pile " now lived in alone
+ $olling a$ound in it li#e the last pea in a $estau$ant*si=ed can + a good ste'*to*ste$n cleaning!
They would do it, she said, fo$ a hund$ed dolla$s split even a'ong the th$ee of the', and 'ostly
%ecause it wasn't good fo$ 'e to go on without it! The$e had to %e a sc$u%%ing afte$ a death, she
said, even if the death didn't happen in the house itself!
" told he$ it was a fine idea, %ut " would pay he$ and the wo'en she %$ought a hund$ed dolla$s
each fo$ six hou$s' wo$#! At the end of the six hou$s, " wanted the &o% done! And if it wasn't, " told
he$, it would %e done, anyway!
'$! Noonan, that's fa$ too 'uch,' she said!
'ay%e and 'ay%e not, %ut it's what "'' paying,' " said! '(ill you do itB'
She said she would, of cou$se she would!
0e$haps p$edicta%ly, " found 'yself going th$ough the house on the evening %efo$e they ca'e,
doing a p$e*cleaning inspection! " guess " didn't want the wo'en -two of who' would %e co'plete
st$ange$s to 'e/ finding anything that would e'%a$$ass the' o$ 'eD a pai$ of 6ohanna's sil# panties
stuffed down %ehind the sofa cushions, pe$haps -'(e a$e often ove$co'e on the sofa, ichael,' she
said to 'e once, 'have you noticedB'/, o$ %ee$ cans unde$ the loveseat on the sunpo$ch, 'ay%e even
an unflushed toilet! "n t$uth, " can't tell you any one thing " was loo#ing fo$7 that sense of ope$ating
in a d$ea' still held fi$' cont$ol ove$ 'y 'ind! The clea$est thoughts " had du$ing those days we$e
eithe$ a%out the end of the novel " was w$iting -the psychotic #ille$ had lu$ed 'y he$oine to a high*
$ise %uilding and 'eant to push he$ off the $oof/ o$ a%out the No$co Ho'e 0$egnancy Test 6o had
%ought on the day she died! Sinus p$esc$iption, she had said! 0iece of fish fo$ suppe$, she had said!
And he$ eyes had shown 'e nothing else " needed to loo# at twice!
Nea$ the end of 'y 'p$e*cleaning,' " loo#ed unde$ ou$ %ed and saw an open pape$%ac# on 6o's
side! She hadn't %een dead long, %ut few household lands a$e so dusty as the 1ingdo' of Unde$%ed,
and the light*g$ay coating " saw on the %oo# when " %$ought it out 'ade 'e thin# of 6ohanna's face
and hands in he$ coffin + 6o in the 1ingdo' of Unde$g$ound! 2id it get dusty inside a coffinB
Su$ely not, %ut +
" pushed the thought away! "t p$etended to go, %ut all day long it #ept c$eeping %ac#, li#e
Tolstoy's white %ea$!
6ohanna and " had %oth %een English 'a&o$s at the Unive$sity of aine, and li#e 'any othe$s, "
$ec#on, we fell in love to the sound of Sha#espea$e and the Til%u$y Town cynicis' of Edwin
A$lington Ro%inson! ,et the w$ite$ who had %ound us closest togethe$ was no college*f$iendly poet
o$ essayist %ut (! So'e$set augha', that elde$ly glo%et$otting novelist*playw$ight with the
$eptile's face -always o%scu$ed %y ciga$ette s'o#e in his photog$aphs, it see's/ and the $o'antic's
hea$t! So it did not su$p$ise 'e 'uch to find that the %oo# unde$ the %ed was "he #oon and
Si$pence! " had $ead it 'yself as a late teenage$, not once %ut twice, identifying passionately with
the cha$acte$ of 3ha$les St$ic#land! -"t was w$iting " wanted to do in the South Seas, of cou$se, not
painting!/
She had %een using a playing ca$d f$o' so'e defunct dec# as he$ place*'a$#e$, and as " opened
the %oo#, " thought of so'ething she had said when " was fi$st getting to #now he$! "n Twentieth*
3entu$y .$itish 8it, this had %een, p$o%a%ly in :;?A! 6ohanna A$len had %een a fie$y little
sopho'o$e! " was a senio$, pic#ing up the Twentieth*3entu$y .$its si'ply %ecause " had ti'e on
'y hands that last se'este$! 'A hund$ed yea$s f$o' now,' she had said, 'the sha'e of the 'id*
twentieth*centu$y lite$a$y c$itics will %e that they e'%$aced 8aw$ence and igno$ed augha'!' This
was g$eeted with conte'ptuously good*natu$ed laughte$ -they all #new Women in %o&e was one of
the g$eatest da'n %oo#s eve$ w$itten/, %ut " didn't laugh! " fell in love!
The playing ca$d 'a$#ed pages :AF and :AG + 2i$# St$oeve has &ust discove$ed that his wife
has left hi' fo$ St$ic#land, augha''s ve$sion of 0aul 5auguin! The na$$ato$ t$ies to %uc# St$oeve
up! #y dear fellow' don't be unhappy( She'll come back ( ( (
'Easy fo$ you to say,' " 'u$'u$ed to the $oo' which now %elonged &ust to 'e!
" tu$ned the page and $ead thisD Strickland's in)urious calm robbed Stroe&e of his self*control
Blind rage sei+ed him' and without knowing what he was doing he flung himself on Strickland(
Strickland was taken by surprise and he staggered' but he was &ery strong' e&en after his illness'
and in a moment' he did not e$actly know how' Stroe&e found himself on the floor(
',ou funny little man'' said Strickland(
"t occu$$ed to 'e that 6o was neve$ going to tu$n the page and hea$ St$ic#land call the pathetic
St$oeve a funny little 'an! "n a 'o'ent of %$illiant epiphany " have neve$ fo$gotten + how could
"B it was one of the wo$st 'o'ents of 'y life + " unde$stood it wasn't a 'ista#e that would %e
$ectified, o$ a d$ea' f$o' which " would awa#en! 6ohanna was dead!
y st$ength was $o%%ed %y g$ief! "f the %ed hadn't %een the$e, " would have fallen to the floo$!
(e weep f$o' ou$ eyes, it's all we can do, %ut on that evening " felt as if eve$y po$e of 'y %ody
we$e weeping, eve$y c$ac# and c$anny! " sat the$e on he$ side of the %ed, with he$ dusty pape$%ac#
copy of "he #oon and Si$pence in 'y hand, and " wailed! " thin# it was su$p$ise as 'uch as pain7
in spite of the co$pse " had seen and identified on a high*$esolution video 'onito$, in spite of the
fune$al and 0ete .$eedlove singing '.lessed Assu$ance' in his high, sweet teno$ voice, in spite of
the g$aveside se$vice with its ashes to ashes and dust to dust, " hadn't $eally %elieved it! The
0enguin pape$%ac# did fo$ 'e what the %ig g$ay coffin had notD it insisted she was dead!
,ou funny little man' said Strickland(
" lay %ac# on ou$ %ed, c$ossed 'y fo$ea$'s ove$ 'y face, and c$ied 'yself to sleep that way as
child$en do when they'$e unhappy! " had an awful d$ea'! "n it " wo#e up, saw the pape$%ac# of "he
#oon and Si$pence still lying on the cove$let %eside 'e, and decided to put it %ac# unde$ the %ed
whe$e " had found it! ,ou #now how confused d$ea's a$e + logic li#e 2alH cloc#s gone so soft
they lie ove$ the %$anches of t$ees li#e th$ow*$ugs!
" put the playing*ca$d %oo#'a$# %ac# %etween pages :AF and :AG + a tu$n of the index finge$
away f$o' ,ou funny little man' said Strickland now and fo$eve$ + and $olled onto 'y side,
hanging 'y head ove$ the edge of the %ed, 'eaning to put the %oo# %ac# exactly whe$e " had found
it!
6o was lying the$e a'id the dust*#itties! A st$and of co%we% hung down f$o' the %otto' of the
%ox sp$ing and ca$essed he$ chee# li#e a feathe$!
He$ $ed hai$ loo#ed dull, %ut he$ eyes we$e da$# and ale$t and %aleful in he$ white face! And
when she spo#e, " #new that death had d$iven he$ insane!
'5ive 'e that,' she hissed! '"t's 'y dust*catche$!' She snatched it out of 'y hand %efo$e " could
offe$ it to he$! 9o$ a 'o'ent ou$ finge$s touched, and he$s we$e as cold as twigs afte$ a f$ost! She
opened the %oo# to he$ place, the playing ca$d flutte$ing out, and placed So'e$set augha' ove$
he$ face + a sh$oud of wo$ds! As she c$ossed he$ hands on he$ %oso' and lay still, " $eali=ed she
was wea$ing the %lue d$ess " had %u$ied he$ in! She had co'e out of he$ g$ave to hide unde$ ou$
%ed!
" awo#e with a 'uffled c$y and a painful &e$# that al'ost tu'%led 'e off the side of the %ed! "
hadn't %een asleep long + the tea$s we$e still da'p on 'y chee#s, and 'y eyelids had that funny
st$etched feel they get afte$ a %out of weeping! The d$ea' had %een so vivid that " had to $oll on 'y
side, hang 'y head down, and pee$ unde$ the %ed, su$e she would %e the$e with the %oo# ove$ he$
face, that she would $each out with he$ cold finge$s to touch 'e!
The$e was nothing the$e, of cou$se + d$ea's a$e &ust d$ea's! Neve$theless, " spent the $est of
the night on the couch in 'y study! "t was the $ight choice, " guess, %ecause the$e we$e no 'o$e
d$ea's that night! Only the nothingness of good sleep!
3HA0TER T(O
" neve$ suffe$ed f$o' w$ite$'s %loc# du$ing the ten yea$s of 'y 'a$$iage, and did not suffe$ it
i''ediately afte$ 6ohanna's death! " was in fact so unfa'ilia$ with the condition that it had p$etty
well set in %efo$e " #new anything out of the o$dina$y was going on! " thin# this was %ecause in 'y
hea$t " %elieved that such conditions only affected 'lite$a$y'' types of the so$t who a$e discussed,
deconst$ucted, and so'eti'es dis'issed in the New ,ork Re&iew of Books!
y w$iting ca$ee$ and 'y 'a$$iage cove$ed al'ost exactly the sa'e span! " finished the fi$st
d$aft of 'y fi$st novel, Being "wo, not long afte$ 6o and " %eca'e officially engaged -" popped an
opal $ing on the thi$d finge$ of he$ left hand, a hund$ed and ten %uc#s at 2ay's 6ewelle$s, and )uite
a %it 'o$e than " could affo$d at the ti'e ! ! ! %ut 6ohanna see'ed utte$ly th$illed with it/, and "
finished 'y last novel, All the Way from the "op, a%out a 'onth afte$ she was decla$ed dead! This
was the one a%out the psychotic #ille$ with the love of high places! "t was pu%lished in the fall of
:;;@! " have pu%lished othe$ novels since then + a pa$adox " can explain + %ut " don't thin#
the$e'll %e a ichael Noonan novel on any list in the fo$eseea%le futu$e! " #now what w$ite$'s %loc#
is now, all $ight! " #now 'o$e a%out it than " eve$ wanted to!
(hen " hesitantly showed 6o the fi$st d$aft of Being "wo, she $ead it in one evening, cu$led up in
he$ favo$ite chai$, wea$ing nothing %ut panties and a tee*shi$t with the aine %lac# %ea$ on the
f$ont, d$in#ing glass afte$ glass of iced tea! " went out to the ga$age -we we$e $enting a house in
.ango$ with anothe$ couple on as sha#y financial g$ound as we we$e! ! and no, 6o and " we$en't
)uite 'a$$ied at that point, although as fa$ as " #now, that opal $ing neve$ left he$ finge$/ and
putte$ed ai'lessly, feeling li#e a guy in a New ,orker ca$toon one of those a%out funny fellows in
the delive$y waiting $oo'! As " $e'e'%e$, " fuc#ed up a so*si'ple*a*child*can*do*it %i$dhouse #it
and al'ost cut off the index finge$ of 'y left hand! Eve$y twenty 'inutes o$ so "'d go %ac# inside
and pee# at 6o! "f she noticed, she gave no sign! " too# that as hopeful!
" was sitting on the %ac# stoop, loo#ing up at the sta$s and s'o#ing, when she ca'e out, sat
down %eside 'e, and put he$ hand on the %ac# of 'y nec#!
'(ellB' " said!
'"t's good,' she said! 'Now why don't you co'e inside and do 'eB' And %efo$e " could answe$, the
panties she had %een wea$ing d$opped in 'y lap in a little whispe$ of nylon!
Afte$wa$d, lying in %ed and eating o$anges -a vice we late$ outg$ew/, " as#ed he$D '5ood as in
pu%lisha%leB'
'(ell,' she said, '" don't #now anything a%out the gla'o$ous wo$ld of pu%lishing, %ut "'ve %een
$eading fo$ pleasu$e all 'y life + urious -eorge was 'y fi$st love, if you want to #now + '
'" don't!' She leaned ove$ and popped an o$ange seg'ent into 'y 'outh, he$ %$east wa$' and
p$ovocative against 'y a$'! ' + and " $ead this with g$eat pleasu$e! y p$ediction is that you$
ca$ee$ as a $epo$te$ fo$ the Derry News is neve$ going to su$vive its $oo#ie stage! " thin# "'' going
to %e a novelist's wife!'
He$ wo$ds th$illed 'e + actually %$ought goose%u'ps out on 'y a$'s! No, she didn't #now
anything a%out the gla'o$ous wo$ld of pu%lishing, %ut if she %elieved, " %elieved ! ! ! and %elief
tu$ned out to %e the $ight cou$se! " got an agent th$ough 'y old c$eative*w$iting teache$ -who $ead
'y novel and da'ned it with faint p$aise, seeing its co''e$cial )ualities as a #ind of he$esy, "
thin#/, and the agent sold Being "wo to Rando' House, the fi$st pu%lishe$ to see it!
6o was $ight a%out 'y ca$ee$ as a $epo$te$, as well! " spent fou$ 'onths cove$ing flowe$ shows,
d$ag $aces, and %ean suppe$s at a%out a hund$ed a wee# %efo$e 'y fi$st chec# f$o' Rando' House
ca'e in + IFJ,AAA, afte$ the agent's co''ission had %een deducted! " wasn't in the news$oo' long
enough to get even that fi$st 'ino$ %u'p in sala$y, %ut they had a going*away pa$ty fo$ 'e &ust the
sa'e! At 6ac#'s 0u%, this was, now that " thin# of it! The$e was a %anne$ hung ove$ the ta%les in the
%ac# $oo' which said 5OO2 8U31 "1E + (R"TE ONC 8ate$, when we got ho'e, 6ohanna said that
if envy was acid, the$e would have %een nothing left of 'e %ut 'y %elt*%uc#le and th$ee teeth!
8ate$, in %ed with the lights out + the last o$ange eaten and the last ciga$ette sha$ed + " said,
'No one's eve$ going to confuse it with %ook .omeward' Angel, a$e theyB' y %oo#, " 'eant! She
#new it, &ust as she #new " had %een fai$ly dep$essed %y 'y old c$eative*w$iting teache$'s $esponse
to "wo!
',ou a$en't going to pull a lot of f$ust$ated*a$tist c$ap on 'e, a$e youB' she as#ed, getting up on
one el%ow! '"f you a$e, " wish you'd tell 'e now, so " can pic# up one of those do*it*you$self
divo$ce #its fi$st thing in the 'o$ning!'
" was a'used, %ut also a little hu$t! '2id you see that fi$st p$ess $elease f$o' Rando' HouseB' "
#new she had! 'They'$e &ust a%out calling 'e 4! 3! And$ews with a p$ic#, fo$ 5od's sa#e!'
'(ell,' she said, lightly g$a%%ing the o%&ect in )uestion, 'you do have a p$ic#! As fa$ as what
they'$e calling you ! ! ! i#e, when " was in thi$d g$ade, 0atty .anning used to call 'e a %ooge$*
hoo#e$! .ut " wasn't!'
'0e$ception is eve$ything!'
'.ullshit!' She was still holding 'y dic# and now gave it a fo$'ida%le s)uee=e that hu$t a little
and felt a%solutely wonde$ful at the sa'e ti'e! That c$a=y old t$ouse$ 'ouse neve$ $eally ca$ed
what it got in those days, as long as the$e was a lot of it! '.appiness is eve$ything! A$e you happy
when you w$ite, i#eB'
'Su$e!' "t was what she #new, anyway!
'And does you$ conscience %othe$ you when you w$iteB'
'(hen " w$ite, the$e's nothing "'d $athe$ do except this,' " said, and $olled on top of he$!
'Oh dea$,' she said in that p$issy little voice that always c$ac#ed 'e up! 'The$e's a penis %etween
us!'
And as we 'ade love, " $eali=ed a wonde$ful thing o$ twoD that she had 'eant it when she said
she $eally li#ed 'y %oo# -hell, "'d #nown she li#ed it &ust f$o' the way she sat in the wing chai$
$eading it, with a loc# of hai$ falling ove$ he$ %$ow and he$ %a$e legs tuc#ed %eneath he$/, and that "
didn't need to %e asha'ed of what " had w$itten ! ! ! not in he$ eyes, at least! And one othe$
wonde$ful thingD he$ pe$ception, &oined with 'y own to 'a#e the t$ue %inocula$ vision nothing %ut
'a$$iage allows, was the only pe$ception that 'atte$ed!
Than# 5od she was a augha' fan!
" was 4! 3! And$ews with a p$ic# fo$ ten yea$s ! ! ! fou$teen, if you add in the post*6ohanna yea$s!
The fi$st five we$e with Rando'7 then 'y agent got a huge offe$ f$o' 0utna' and " &u'ped!
,ou've seen 'y na'e on a lot of %estselle$ lists ! ! ! if, that is, you$ Sunday pape$ ca$$ies a list
that goes up to fifteen instead of &ust listing the top ten! " was neve$ a 3lancy, 8udlu', o$ 5$isha',
%ut " 'oved a fai$ nu'%e$ of ha$dcove$s -4! 3! And$ews neve$ did, Ha$old O%lows#i, 'y agent,
told 'e once7 the lady was p$etty 'uch a pape$%ac# pheno'enon/ and once got as high as nu'%e$
five on the "imes list ! ! ! that was with 'y second %oo#, "he Red*Shirt #an! "$onically, one of the
%oo#s that #ept 'e f$o' going highe$ was Steel #achine, %y Thad .eau'ont -w$iting as 5eo$ge
Sta$#/! The .eau'onts had a su''e$ place in 3astle Roc# %ac# in those days, not even fifty 'iles
south of ou$ place on 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e! Thad's dead now! Suicide! " don't #now if it had anything to
do with w$ite$'s %loc# o$ not!
" stood &ust outside the 'agic ci$cle of the 'ega*%estselle$s, %ut " neve$ 'inded that! (e owned
two ho'es %y the ti'e " was thi$ty*oneD the lovely old Edwa$dian in 2e$$y and, in weste$n aine, a
la#eside log ho'e al'ost %ig enough to %e called a lodge + that was Sa$a 8aughs, so called %y the
locals fo$ nea$ly a centu$y! And we owned %oth places f$ee and clea$ at a ti'e of life when 'any
couples conside$ the'selves luc#y &ust to have fought thei$ way to 'o$tgage app$oval on a sta$te$
ho'e! (e we$e healthy, faithful, and with ou$ fun*%ones still fully attached! " wasn't Tho'as
(olfe -not even To' (olfe o$ To%ias (olff/, %ut " was %eing paid to do what " loved, and the$e's
no gig on ea$th %ette$ than that7 it's li#e a license to steal!
" was what 'idlist fiction used to %e in the fo$tiesD c$itically igno$ed, gen$e*o$iented -in 'y case
the gen$e was 8ovely ,oung (o'an on He$ Own eets 9ascinating St$ange$/, %ut well
co'pensated and with the #ind of sha%%y acceptance acco$ded to state*sanctioned who$ehouses in
Nevada, the feeling see'ing to %e that so'e outlet fo$ the %ase$ instincts should %e p$ovided and
so'eone had to do That So$t of Thing! " did That So$t of Thing enthusiastically -and so'eti'es
with 6o's enthusiastic connivance, if " ca'e to a pa$ticula$ly p$o%le'atic plot c$oss$oads/, and at
so'e point a$ound the ti'e of 5eo$ge .ush's election, ou$ accountant told us we we$e 'illionai$es!
(e we$en't $ich enough to own a &et -5$isha'/ o$ a p$o foot%all tea' -3lancy/, %ut %y the
standa$ds of 2e$$y, aine, we we$e )uite $olling in it! (e 'ade love thousands of ti'es, saw
thousands of 'ovies, $ead thousands of %oo#s -6o sto$ing he$s unde$ he$ side of the %ed at the end
of the day, 'o$e often than not/! And pe$haps the g$eatest %lessing was that we neve$ #new how
sho$t the ti'e was!
o$e than once " wonde$ed if %$ea#ing the $itual is what led to the w$ite$'s %loc#! "n the dayti'e, "
could dis'iss this as supe$natu$al twaddle %ut at night that was ha$de$ to do! At night you$ thoughts
have an unpleasant way of slipping thei$ colla$s and $unning f$ee! And if you've spent 'ost of you$
adult life 'a#ing fictions, "'' su$e those colla$s a$e even loose$ and the dogs less eage$ to wea$
the'! (as it Shaw o$ Osca$ (ilde who said a w$ite$ was a 'an who had taught his 'ind to
'is%ehaveB
And is it $eally so fa$*fetched to thin# that %$ea#ing the $itual 'ight have played a pa$t in 'y
sudden and unexpected -unexpected %y 'e, at least/ silenceB (hen you 'a#e you$ daily %$ead in
the land of 'a#e*%elieve, the line %etween what is and what see's to %e is 'uch fine$! 0ainte$s
so'eti'es $efuse to paint without wea$ing a ce$tain hat, and %ase%all playe$s who a$e hitting well
won't change thei$ soc#s!
The $itual sta$ted with the second %oo#, which was the only one " $e'e'%e$ %eing ne$vous a%out
+ " suppose "'d a%so$%ed a fai$ a'ount of that sopho'o$e*&inx stuff7 the idea that one hit 'ight
only %e a flu#e! " $e'e'%e$ an A'e$ican 8it lectu$e$'s once saying that of 'ode$n A'e$ican
w$ite$s, only Ha$pe$ 8ee had found a foolp$oof way of avoiding the second*%oo# %lues!
(hen " $eached the end of "he Red*Shirt #an, " stopped &ust sho$t of finishing! The Edwa$dian
on .enton St$eet in 2e$$y was still two yea$s in the futu$e at that point, %ut we had pu$chased Sa$a
8aughs, the place on 2a$# Sco$e -not anywhe$e nea$ as fu$nished as it late$ %eca'e, and 6o's studio
not yet %uilt, %ut nice/, and that's whe$e we we$e!
" pushed %ac# f$o' 'y typew$ite$ + " was still clinging to 'y old ". Select$ic in those days
+ and went into the #itchen! "t was 'id*Septe'%e$, 'ost of the su''e$ people we$e gone, and the
c$ying of the loons on the la#e sounded inexp$essi%ly lovely! The sun was going down, and the la#e
itself had %eco'e a still and heatless plate of fi$e! This is one of the 'ost vivid 'e'o$ies " have, so
clea$ " so'eti'es feel " could step $ight into it and live it all again! (hat things, if any, would " do
diffe$entlyB " so'eti'es wonde$ a%out that!
Ea$ly that evening " had put a %ottle of Taittinge$ and two flutes in the f$idge! Now " too# the'
out, put the' on a tin t$ay that was usually e'ployed to t$anspo$t pitche$s of iced tea o$ 1ool*Aid
f$o' the #itchen to the dec#, and ca$$ied it %efo$e 'e into the living $oo'!
6ohanna was deep in he$ $atty old easy chai$, $eading a %oo# -not augha' that night %ut
(illia' 2en%$ough, one of he$ conte'po$a$y favo$ites/! 'Ooo,' she said, loo#ing up and 'a$#ing
he$ place! '3ha'pagne, what's the occasionB' As if, you unde$stand, she didn't #now!
'"'' done,' " said! '#on li&re est tout fini!'
'(ell,' she said, s'iling and ta#ing one of the flutes as " %ent down to he$ with the t$ay, 'then
that's all $ight, isn't itB'
" $eali=e now that the essence of the $itual + the pa$t that was alive and powe$ful, li#e the one
t$ue 'agic wo$d in a 'outhful of gi%%e$ish + was that ph$ase! (e al'ost always had cha'pagne,
and she al'ost always ca'e into the office with 'e afte$wa$d fo$ the othe$ thing, %ut not always!
Once, five yea$s o$ so %efo$e she died, she was in "$eland, vacationing with a gi$lf$iend, when "
finished a %oo#! " d$an# the cha'pagne %y 'yself that ti'e, and ente$ed the last line %y 'yself as
well -%y then " was using a acintosh which did a %illion diffe$ent things and which " used fo$ only
one/ and neve$ lost a 'inute's sleep ove$ it! .ut " called he$ at the inn whe$e she and he$ f$iend
.$yn we$e staying7 " told he$ " had finished, and listened as she said the wo$ds "'d called to hea$ +
wo$ds that slipped into an "$ish telephone line, t$avelled to a 'ic$owave t$ans'itte$, $ose li#e a
p$aye$ to so'e satellite, and then ca'e %ac# down to 'y ea$D '(ell, then that's all $ight, isn't itB'
This custo' %egan, as " say, afte$ the second %oo#! (hen we'd each had a glass of cha'pagne
and a $efill, " too# he$ into the office, whe$e a single sheet of pape$ still stuc# out of 'y fo$est*
g$een Select$ic! On the la#e, one last loon c$ied down da$#, that call that always sounds to 'e li#e
so'ething $usty tu$ning slowly in the wind! '" thought you said you we$e done,' she said!
'Eve$ything %ut the last line,' " said! 'The %oo#, such as it is, is dedicated to you, and " want you
to put down the last %it!'
She didn't laugh o$ p$otest o$ get gushy, &ust loo#ed at 'e to see if " $eally 'eant it! " nodded that
" did, and she sat in 'y chai$! She had %een swi''ing ea$lie$, and he$ hai$ was pulled %ac# and
th$eaded th$ough a white elastic thing! "t was wet, and two shades da$#e$ $ed than usual! " touched
it! "t was li#e touching da'p sil#!
'0a$ag$aph indentB' she as#ed, as se$iously as a gi$l f$o' the steno pool a%out to ta#e dictation
f$o' the %ig %oss!
'No,' " said, 'this continues!' And then " spo#e the line "'d %een holding in 'y head eve$ since "
got up to pou$ the cha'pagne!'KHe slipped the chain ove$ he$ head, and then the two of the'
wal#ed down the steps to whe$e the ca$ was pa$#ed!'''
She typed it, then loo#ed a$ound and up at 'e expectantly! 'That's it,' " said! ',ou can w$ite The
End, " guess!'
6o hit the RETURN %utton twice, cente$ed the ca$$iage, and typed The End unde$ the last line of
p$ose, the ".'s 3ou$ie$ type %all -'y favo$ite/ spinning out the lette$s in thei$ o%edient dance!
'(hat's the chain he slips ove$ he$ headB' she as#ed 'e!
',ou'll have to $ead the %oo# to find out!'
(ith he$ sitting in 'y des# chai$ and 'e standing %eside he$, she was in pe$fect position to put
he$ face whe$e she did! (hen she spo#e, he$ lips 'oved against the 'ost sensitive pa$t of 'e!
The$e we$e a pai$ of cotton sho$ts %etween us and that was all!
'4e haff vays off 'a#ing you tal#,' she said!
'"'ll &ust %et you do,' " said!
" at least 'ade a sta% at the $itual on the day " finished All the Way from the "op! "t felt hollow,
fo$' f$o' which the 'agical su%stance had depa$ted, %ut "'d expected that! " didn't do it out of
supe$stition %ut out of $espect and love! A #ind of 'e'o$ial, if you will! O$, if you will, 6ohanna's
$eal fune$al se$vice, finally ta#ing place a 'onth afte$ she was in the g$ound!
"t was the last thi$d of Septe'%e$, and still hot + the hottest late su''e$ " can $e'e'%e$! All
du$ing that final sad push on the %oo#, " #ept thin#ing how 'uch " 'issed he$ ! ! ! %ut that neve$
slowed 'e down! And he$e's so'ething elseD hot as it was in 2e$$y, so hot " usually wo$#ed in
nothing %ut a pai$ of %oxe$ sho$ts, " neve$ once thought of going to ou$ place at the la#e! "t was as if
'y 'e'o$y of Sa$a 8aughs had %een enti$ely wiped f$o' 'y 'ind! 0e$haps that was %ecause %y
the ti'e " finished "op, that t$uth was finally sin#ing in!
She wasn't &ust in "$eland this ti'e! y office at the la#e is tiny, %ut has a view! The office in
2e$$y is long, %oo#*lined, and windowless! On this pa$ticula$ evening, the ove$head fans + the$e
a$e th$ee of the' + we$e on and paddling at the soupy ai$! " ca'e in d$essed in sho$ts, a tee*shi$t,
and $u%%e$ thong sandals, ca$$ying a tin 3o#e t$ay with the %ottle of cha'pagne and the two chilled
glasses on it! At the fa$ end of that $ail$oad*ca$ $oo', unde$ an eave so steep "'d had to al'ost
c$ouch so as not to %ang 'y head when " got up -ove$ the yea$s "'d also had to withstand 6o's
p$otests that "'d pic#ed the a%solute wo$st place in the $oo' fo$ a wo$#station/, the sc$een of 'y
acintosh glowed with wo$ds!
" thought " was p$o%a%ly inviting anothe$ sto$' of g$ief + *'ay%e the wo$st sto$' + %ut " went
ahead anyway ! ! ! and ou$ e'otions always su$p$ise us, don't theyB The$e was no weeping and
wailing that night7 " guess all that was out of 'y syste'! "nstead the$e was a deep and w$etched
sense of loss + the e'pty chai$ whe$e she used to li#e to sit and $ead, the e'pty ta%le whe$e she
would always set he$ glass too close to the edge!
" pou$ed a glass of cha'pagne, let the foa' settle, then pic#ed it up! '"'' done, 6o,' " said as " sat
the$e %eneath the paddling fans! 'So that's all $ight, isn't itB'
The$e was no $esponse! "n light of all that ca'e late$, " thin# that's wo$th $epeating + the$e was
no $esponse! " didn't sense, as " late$ did, that " was not alone in a $oo' which appea$ed e'pty!
" d$an# the cha'pagne, put the glass %ac# on the 3o#e t$ay, then filled the othe$ one! " too# it
ove$ to the ac and sat down whe$e 6ohanna would have %een sitting, if not fo$ eve$yone's favo$ite
loving 5od! No weeping and wailing, %ut 'y eyes p$ic#led with tea$s! The wo$ds on the sc$een
we$e theseD
today wasn't so bad, she supposed. She crossed the grass to her car, and
laughed when she saw the white square of paper under the windshield. Cam
Delancey, who refused to be discouraged, or to take no for an answer, had
invited her to another of his Thursdaynight winetasting parties. She took the
paper, started to tear it up, then changed her mind and stuck it in the hip
pocket of her !eans, instead.
'No pa$ag$aph indent,' " said, 'this continues!' Then " #ey%oa$ded the line "'d %een holding in 'y
head eve$ since " got up to get the cha'pagne!
There was a whole world out there" Cam Delancey's winetasting was as good a
place to start as any.
" stopped, loo#ing at the little flashing cu$so$! The tea$s we$e still p$ic#ling at the co$ne$s of 'y
eyes, %ut " $epeat that the$e we$e no cold d$afts a$ound 'y an#les, no spect$al finge$s at the nape of
'y nec#! " hit RETURN twice! " clic#ed on 3ENTER! " typed The End %elow the last line of p$ose, and
then " toasted the sc$een with what should have %een 6o's glass of cha'pagne!
'He$e's to you, %a%e,' " said! '" wish you we$e he$e! " 'iss you li#e hell!' y voice wave$ed a little
on that last wo$d, %ut didn't %$ea#! " d$an# the Taittinge$, saved 'y final line of copy, t$ansfe$$ed
the whole wo$#s to floppy dis#s, then %ac#ed the' up! And except fo$ notes, g$oce$y lists, and
chec#s, that was the last w$iting " did fo$ fou$ yea$s!
3HA0TER THREE
y pu%lishe$ didn't #now, 'y edito$ 2e%$a (einstoc# didn't #now, 'y agent Ha$old O%lows#i
didn't #now! 9$an# A$len didn't #now, eithe$, although on 'o$e than one occasion " had %een
te'pted to tell hi'! %et me be your brother( /or 0o's sake if not your own, he told 'e on the day he
went %ac# to his p$inting %usiness and 'ostly solita$y life in the southe$n aine town of Sanfo$d! "
had neve$ expected to ta#e hi' up on that, and didn't + not in the ele'ental c$y*fo$*help way he
'ight have %een thin#ing a%out + %ut " phoned hi' eve$y couple of wee#s o$ so! 5uy*tal#, you
#now + .ow's it going' Not too bad' cold as a witch's tit' ,eah' here' too' ,ou want to go down to
Boston if 1 can get Bruins tickets' #aybe ne$t year' pretty busy right now' ,eah' 1 know how that is'
seeya' #ikey' 2kay' /rank' keep your wee*wee in the teepee( 5uy*tal#!
"'' p$etty su$e that once o$ twice he as#ed 'e if " was wo$#ing on a new %oo#, and " thin# " said
+
Oh, fuc# it + that's a lie, o#ayB One so ing$own that now "'' even telling it to 'yself! He as#ed,
all $ight, and " always said yeah, " was wo$#ing on a new %oo#, it was going good, $eal good! " was
te'pted 'o$e than once to tell hi' 1 can't write two paragraphs without going into total mental
and physical doglock 3 my heartbeat doubles' then triples' 1 get short of breath and then start to
pant' my eyes feel like they're going to pop out of my head and hang there on my cheeks( 1'm like a
claustrophobe in a sinking submarine( "hat's how it's going' thanks for asking, %ut " neve$ did! "
don't call fo$ help! " can't call fo$ help! " thin# " told you that!
9$o' 'y ad'ittedly p$e&udiced standpoint, successful novelists + even 'odestly successful
novelists + have got the %est gig in the c$eative a$ts! "t's t$ue that people %uy 'o$e 32S than
%oo#s, go to 'o$e 'ovies, and watch a lot 'o$e T4! .ut the a$c of p$oductivity is longe$ fo$
novelists, pe$haps %ecause $eade$s a$e a little %$ighte$ than fans of the non*w$itten a$ts, and thus
have 'a$ginally longe$ 'e'o$ies! 2avid Soul of Starsky and .utch is 5od #nows whe$e, sa'e
with that peculia$ white $appe$ 4anilla "ce, %ut in :;;<, He$'an (ou#, 6a'es ichene$, and
No$'an aile$ we$e all still a$ound7 tal# a%out when dinosau$s wal#ed the ea$th!
A$thu$ Hailey was w$iting a new %oo# -that was the $u'o$, anyway, and it tu$ned out to %e t$ue/,
Tho'as Ha$$is could ta#e seven yea$s %etween 8ecte$s and still p$oduce %estselle$s, and although
not hea$d f$o' in al'ost fo$ty yea$s, 6! 2! Salinge$ was still a hot topic in English classes and
info$'al coffee*house lite$a$y g$oups! Reade$s have a loyalty that cannot %e 'atched anywhe$e else
in the c$eative a$ts, which explains why so 'any w$ite$s who have $un out of gas can #eep coasting
anyway, p$opelled onto the %estselle$ lists %y the 'agic wo$ds AUTHOR O9 on the cove$s of thei$
%oo#s!
(hat the pu%lishe$ wants in $etu$n, especially f$o' an autho$ who can %e counted on to sell
@AA,AAA o$ so copies of each novel in ha$dcove$ and a 'illion 'o$e in pape$%ac#, is pe$fectly
si'pleD a %oo# a yea$! That, the wallahs in New ,o$# have dete$'ined, is the opti'u'! Th$ee
hund$ed and eighty pages %ound %y st$ing o$ glue eve$y twelve 'onths, a %eginning, a 'iddle, and
an end, continuing 'ain cha$acte$ li#e 1insey illhone o$ 1ay Sca$petta optional %ut ve$y 'uch
p$efe$$ed! Reade$s love continuing cha$acte$s7 it's li#e co'ing %ac# to fa'ily!
8ess than a %oo# a yea$ and you'$e sc$ewing up the pu%lishe$'s invest'ent in you, ha'pe$ing
you$ %usiness 'anage$'s a%ility to continue floating all of you$ c$edit ca$ds, and &eopa$di=ing you$
agent's a%ility to pay his sh$in# on ti'e! Also, the$e's always some fan att$ition when you ta#e too
long! 3an't %e helped! 6ust as, if you pu%lish too 'uch, the$e a$e $eade$s who'll say, '0hew, "'ve had
enough of this guy fo$ awhile, it's all sta$ting to taste li#e %eans!'
" tell you all this so you'll unde$stand how " could spend fou$ yea$s using 'y co'pute$ as the
wo$ld's 'ost expensive Sc$a%%le %oa$d, and no one eve$ suspected! ($ite$'s %loc#B (hat w$ite$'s
%loc#B (e don't got no steen#in w$ite$'s %loc#! How could anyone thin# such a thing when the$e
was a new ichael Noonan suspense novel appea$ing each fall &ust li#e cloc#wo$#, pe$fect fo$ you$
late*su''e$ pleasu$e $eading, fol#s, and %y the way, don't fo$get that the holidays a$e co'ing and
that all you$ $elatives would also p$o%a%ly en&oy the new Noonan, which can he had at .o$de$s at a
thi$ty pe$cent discount, oy vay, such a deal!
The sec$et is si'ple, and " a' not the only popula$ novelist in A'e$ica who #nows it + if the
$u'o$s a$e co$$ect, 2anielle Steel -to na'e &ust one/ has %een using the Noonan 9o$'ula fo$
decades! ,ou see, although " have pu%lished a %oo# a yea$ sta$ting with Being "wo in :;?<, " w$ote
two %oo#s in fou$ of those ten yea$s, pu%lishing one and $atholing the othe$!
" don't $e'e'%e$ eve$ tal#ing a%out this with 6o, and since she neve$ as#ed, " always assu'ed
she unde$stood what " was doingD saving up nuts! "t wasn't w$ite$'s %loc# " was thin#ing of, though!
Shit, " was &ust having fun!
.y 9e%$ua$y of :;;@, afte$ c$ashing and %u$ning with at least two good ideas -that pa$ticula$
function + the 4ureka5 thing + has neve$ stopped, which c$eates its own special ve$sion of hell/, "
could no longe$ deny the o%viousD " was in the wo$st so$t of t$ou%le a w$ite$ can get into, %a$$ing
Al=hei'e$'s o$ a cataclys'ic st$o#e! Still, " had fou$ ca$d%oa$d 'anusc$ipt %oxes in the %ig safe*
deposit %ox " #eep up at 9idelity Union! They we$e 'a$#ed 6romise, "hreat, Darcy, and "op!
A$ound 4alentine's 2ay, 'y agent called, 'ode$ately ne$vous + " usually delive$ed 'y latest
'aste$piece to hi' %y 6anua$y, and he$e it was al$eady half*past 9e%$ua$y! They would have to
c$ash p$oduction to get this yea$'s i#e Noonan out in ti'e fo$ the annual 3h$ist'as %uying o$gy!
(as eve$ything all $ightB
This was 'y fi$st chance to say things we$e a count$y 'ile f$o' all %ut $! Ha$old O%lows#i of
FF@ 0a$# Avenue wasn't the so$t of 'an you said such things to! He was a fine agent, %oth li#ed
and loathed in pu%lishing ci$cles -so'eti'es %y the sa'e people at the sa'e ti'e/, %ut he didn't
adapt well to %ad news f$o' the da$# and oil!t$ea#ed levels whe$e the goods we$e actually
p$oduced! He would have f$ea#ed and %een on the next plane to 2e$$y, $eady to give 'e c$eative
'outh*to*'outh, ada'ant in his $esolve not to leave until he had yan#ed 'e out of 'y fugue! No, "
li#ed Ha$old $ight whe$e he was, in his thi$ty*eighth*floo$ office with its #ic#ass view of the East
Side!
" told hi' what a coincidence, Ha$old, you calling on the ve$y day " finished the new one,
gosha$ooty, how '%out that, "'ll send it out 9edEx, you'll have it to'o$$ow! Ha$old assu$ed 'e
sole'nly that the$e was no coincidence a%out it, that whe$e his w$ite$s we$e conce$ned, he was
telepathic! Then he cong$atulated 'e and hung up! Two hou$s late$ " $eceived his %ou)uet*eve$y %it
as fulso'e and sil#y as one of his 6i''y Hollywood ascots!
Afte$ putting the flowe$s in the dining $oo', whe$e " $a$ely went since 6o died, " went down to
9idelity Union! " used 'y #ey, the %an# 'anage$ used his, and soon enough " was on 'y way to
9edEx with the 'anusc$ipt of All the Way from the "op! " too# the 'ost $ecent %oo# %ecause it was
the one closest to the f$ont of the %ox, that's all! "n Nove'%e$ it was pu%lished &ust in ti'e fo$ the
3h$ist'as $ush! " dedicated it to the 'e'o$y of 'y late, %eloved wife, 6ohanna! "t went to nu'%e$
eleven on the "imes %estselle$ list, and eve$yone went ho'e happy! Even 'e! .ecause things would
get %ette$, wouldn't theyB No one had terminal w$ite$'s %loc#, did they -well, with the possi%le
exception of Ha$pe$ 8ee/B All " had to do was $elax, as the cho$us gi$l said to the a$ch%ishop! And
than# 5od "'d %een a good s)ui$$el and saved up 'y nuts!
" was still opti'istic the following yea$ when " d$ove down to the 9ede$al Exp$ess office with
"hreatening Beha&ior! That one was w$itten in the fall of :;;:, and had %een one of 6o's favo$ites!
Opti'is' had faded )uite a little %it %y a$ch of :;;J, when " d$ove th$ough a wet snowsto$'
with Darcy's Admirer, although when people as#ed 'e how it was going -'($iting any good %oo#s
latelyB' is the existential way 'ost see' to ph$ase the )uestion/, " still answe$ed good, fine, yeah,
w$iting lots of good %oo#s lately, they'$e pou$ing out of 'e li#e shit out of a cow's ass!
Afte$ Ha$old had $ead Darcy and p$onounced it 'y %est eve$, a %est*selle$ which was also
serious, " hesitantly %$oached the idea of ta#ing a yea$ off! He $esponded i''ediately with the
)uestion " detest a%ove all othe$sD was " all $ightB Su$e, " told hi', fine as f$ec#les, &ust thin#ing
a%out easing off a little!
The$e followed one of those patented Ha$old O%lows#i silences, which we$e 'eant to convey
that you we$e %eing a te$$ific asshole, %ut %ecause Ha$old li#ed you so 'uch, he was t$ying to thin#
of the gentlest possi%le way of telling you so! This is a wonde$ful t$ic#, %ut one " saw th$ough a%out
six yea$s ago! Actually, it was 6o who saw th$ough it! 'He's only p$etending co'passion,' she said!
'Actually, he's li#e a cop in one of those old film noir 'ovies, #eeping his 'outh shut so you'll
%lunde$ ahead and end up confessing to eve$ything!'
This ti'e " #ept 'y 'outh shut + &ust switched the phone f$o' 'y $ight ea$ to 'y left, and
$oc#ed %ac# a little fu$the$ in 'y office chai$! (hen " did, 'y eye fell on the f$a'ed photog$aph
ove$ 'y co'pute$ + Sa$a 8aughs, ou$ place on 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e! " hadn't %een the$e in eons, and
fo$ a 'o'ent " consciously wonde$ed why!
Then Ha$old's voice + cautious, co'fo$ting, the voice of a sane 'an t$ying to tal# a lunatic out
of what he hopes will %e no 'o$e than a passing delusion + was %ac# in 'y ea$! 'That 'ight not %e
a good idea, i#e + not at this stage of you$ ca$ee$!'
'This isn't a stage,' " said! '" pea#ed in :;;: + since then, 'y sales haven't $eally gone up o$
down! This is a plateau, Ha$old!'
',es,' he said, 'and w$ite$s who've $eached that steady state $eally only have two choices in te$'s
of sales + they can continue as they a$e, o$ they can go down!'
So " go down, " thought of saying ! ! ! %ut didn't! " didn't want Ha$old to #now exactly how deep
this went, o$ how sha#y the g$ound unde$ 'e was! " didn't want hi' to #now that " was now having
hea$t palpitations*yes, " 'ean this lite$ally + al'ost eve$y ti'e " opened the (o$d Six p$og$a' on
'y co'pute$ and loo#ed at the %lan# sc$een and flashing cu$so$!
',eah,' " said! 'O#ay! essage $eceived!'
',ou'$e su$e you'$e all $ightB'
'2oes the %oo# $ead li#e "'' w$ong, Ha$oldB'
'Hell, no + it's a helluva ya$n! ,ou$ pe$sonal %est, " told you! A g$eat $ead %ut also fuc#ing
serious shit! "f Saul .ellow w$ote $o'antic suspense fiction, this is what he'd w$ite! .ut ! ! ! you'$e
not having any t$ou%le with Dthe next one, a$e youB " #now you'$e still 'issing 6o, hell, we all a$e
+ '
'No,' " said! 'No t$ou%le at all!' Anothe$ of those long silences ensued! " endu$ed it! At last Ha$old
said, '5$isha' could affo$d to ta#e a yea$ off! 3lancy could! Tho'as Ha$$is, the long silences a$e a
pa$t of his 'ysti)ue! .ut whe$e you a$e, life is even toughe$ than at the ve$y top, i#e! The$e a$e
five w$ite$s fo$ eve$y one of those spots down on the list, and you #now who they a$e + hell,
they'$e you$ neigh%o$s th$ee 'onths a yea$! So'e a$e going up, the way 0at$icia 3o$nwell went up
with he$ last two %oo#s, so'e a$e going down, and so'e a$e staying steady, li#e you! "f To'
3lancy we$e to go on hiatus fo$ five yea$s and then %$ing 6ac# Ryan %ac#, he'd co'e %ac# st$ong,
no a$gu'ent! "f you go on hiatus fo$ five yea$s, 'ay%e you don't co'e %ac# at all! y advice is + '
'a#e hay while the sun shines!'
'Too# the wo$ds $ight out of 'y 'outh!'
(e tal#ed a little 'o$e, then said ou$ good%yes! " leaned %ac# fu$the$ in 'y office chai$ + not
all the way to the tip ove$ point %ut close + and loo#ed at the photo of ou$ weste$n aine $et$eat!
Sa$a 8aughs, so$t of li#e the title of that hoa$y old Hall and Oates %allad! 6o had loved it 'o$e, t$ue
enough, %ut only %y a little, so why had " %een staying awayB .ill 2ean, the ca$eta#e$, too# down
the sto$' shutte$s eve$y sp$ing and put the' %ac# up eve$y fall, d$ained the pipes in the fall and
'ade su$e the pu'p was $unning in the sp$ing, chec#ed the gene$ato$ and too# ca$e to see that all
the 'aintenance tags we$e cu$$ent, ancho$ed the swi''ing float fifty ya$ds o$ so off ou$ little lic#
of %each afte$ each e'o$ial 2ay!
.ill had the chi'ney cleaned in the ea$ly su''e$ of ';L, although the$e hadn't %een a fi$e in the
fi$eplace fo$ two yea$s o$ 'o$e! " paid hi' )ua$te$ly, as is the custo' with ca$eta#e$s in that pa$t of
the wo$ld7 .ill 2ean, old ,an#ee f$o' a long line of the', cashed 'y chec#s and didn't as# why "
neve$ used 'y place any'o$e! "'d only %een down two o$ th$ee ti'es since 6o died, and not a single
ove$night! 5ood thing .ill didn't as#, %ecause " don't #now what answe$ " would have given hi'! "
hadn't even $eally thought a%out Sa$a 8aughs until 'y conve$sation with Ha$old!
Thin#ing of Ha$old, " loo#ed away f$o' the photo and %ac# at the phone! "'agined saying to
hi', So 1 go down' so what? "he world comes to an end? 6lease( 1t isn't as if 1 had a wife and
family to support 3 the wife died in a drugstore parking lot' if you please 7or e&en if you don't
please8' and the kid we wanted so badly and tried for so long went with her' 1 don't cra&e the fame'
either 3 if writers who fill the lower slots on the Ti'es bestseller list can be said to be famous 3
and 1 don't fall asleep dreaming of book club sales( So why? Why does it e&en bother me?
.ut that last one " could answe$! .ecause it felt li#e giving up! .ecause without 'y wife and 'y
wo$#, " was a supe$fluous 'an living alone in a %ig house that was all paid fo$, doing nothing %ut
the newspape$ c$osswo$d ove$ lunch!
" pushed on with what passed fo$ 'y life! " fo$got a%out Sa$a 8aughs -o$ so'e pa$t of 'e that didn't
want to go the$e %u$ied the idea/ and spent anothe$ swelte$ing, 'ise$a%le su''e$ in 2e$$y! " put a
c$ucive$%alist p$og$a' on 'y 0owe$%oo# and %egan 'a#ing 'y own c$osswo$d pu==les! " too# an
inte$i' appoint'ent on the local ,3A's %oa$d of di$ecto$s and &udged the Su''e$ A$ts
3o'petition in (ate$ville! " did a se$ies of T4 ads fo$ the local ho'eless shelte$, which was
stagge$ing towa$d %an#$uptcy, then se$ved on that %oa$d fo$ awhile! -At one pu%lic 'eeting of this
latte$ %oa$d a wo'an called 'e a f$iend of degene$ates, to which " $eplied, 'Than#sC " needed that!'
This $esulted in a loud out%u$st of applause which " still don't unde$stand!/ " t$ied so'e one*on*one
counselling and gave it up afte$ five appoint'ents, deciding that the counsello$'s p$o%le's we$e fa$
wo$se than 'ine! " sponso$ed an Asian child and %owled with a league!
So'eti'es " t$ied to w$ite, and eve$y ti'e " did, " loc#ed up! Once, when " t$ied to fo$ce a
sentence o$ two -any sentence o$ two, &ust as long as they ca'e f$esh*%a#ed out of 'y own head/, "
had to g$a% the waste%as#et and vo'it into it! " vo'ited until " thought it was going to #ill 'e ! ! !
and " did have to lite$ally c$awl away f$o' the des# and the co'pute$, pulling 'yself ac$oss the
deep*pile $ug on 'y hands and #nees! .y the ti'e " got to the othe$ side of the $oo', it was %ette$! "
could even loo# %ac# ove$ 'y shoulde$ at the 42T sc$een! " &ust couldn't get nea$ it! 8ate$ that day,
" app$oached it with 'y eyes shut and tu$ned it off!
o$e and 'o$e often du$ing those late*su''e$ days " thought of 2ennison 3a$ville, the
c$eative*w$iting teache$ who'd helped 'e connect with Ha$old and who had da'ned Being "wo
with such faint p$aise! 3a'ille once said so'ething " neve$ fo$got, att$i%uting it to Tho'as Ha$dy,
the 4icto$ian novelist and poet! 0e$haps Ha$dy did say it, %ut "'ve neve$ found it $epeated, not in
.a$tlett's, not in the Ha$dy %iog$aphy " $ead %etween the pu%lications of All the Way from the "op
and "hreatening Beha&ior! " have an idea 3a$ville 'ay have 'ade it up hi'self and then att$i%uted
it to Ha$dy in o$de$ to give it 'o$e weight! "t's a ploy " have used 'yself f$o' ti'e to ti'e, "''
asha'ed to say!
"n any case, " thought a%out this )uote 'o$e and 'o$e as " st$uggled with the panic in 'y %ody
and the f$o=en feeling in 'y head, that awful locked*up feeling! "t see'ed to su' up 'y despai$
and 'y g$owing ce$tainty that " would neve$ %e a%le to w$ite again -what a t$agedy, 4! 3! And$ews
with a p$ic# felled %y w$ite$'s %loc#/! "t was this )uote that suggested any effo$t " 'ade to %ette$ 'y
situation 'ight %e 'eaningless even if it succeeded!
Acco$ding to gloo'y old 2ennison 3a$ville, the aspi$ing novelist should unde$stand f$o' the
outset that fiction's goals we$e fo$eve$ %eyond his $each, that the &o% was an exe$cise in futility!
'3o'pa$ed to the dullest hu'an %eing actually wal#ing a%out on the face of the ea$th and casting
his shadow the$e,' Ha$dy supposedly said, 'the 'ost %$illiantly d$awn cha$acte$ in a novel is %ut a
%ag of %ones!' " unde$stood %ecause that was what " felt li#e in those inte$'ina%le, disse'%ling
daysD a %ag of %ones!
%ast night 1 dreamt 1 went to #anderley again(
"f the$e is any 'o$e %eautiful and haunting fi$st line in English fiction, "'ve neve$ $ead it! And it
was a line " had cause to thin# of a lot du$ing the fall of :;;J and the winte$ of :;;?! " didn't d$ea'
of ande$ley, of cou$se, %ut of Sa$a 8aughs, which 6o so'eti'es called 'the hideout!' A fai$
enough desc$iption, " guess, fo$ a place so fa$ up in the weste$n aine woods that it's not $eally
even in a town at all, %ut in an uninco$po$ated a$ea designated on state 'aps as RR*;A!
The last of these d$ea's was a night'a$e, %ut until that one they had a #ind of su$$eal si'plicity!
They we$e d$ea's "'d awa#e f$o' wanting to tu$n on the %ed$oo' light so " could $econfi$' 'y
place in $eality %efo$e going %ac# to sleep! ,ou #now how the ai$ feels %efo$e a thunde$sto$', how
eve$ything gets still and colo$s see' to stand out with the %$illiance of things seen du$ing a high
feve$B y winte$ d$ea's of Sa$a 8aughs we$e li#e that, each leaving 'e with a feeling that was not
)uite sic#ness! 1'&e dreamt again of #anderley, " would thin# so'eti'es, and so'eti'es " would
lie in %ed with the light on, listening to the wind outside, loo#ing into the %ed$oo''s shadowy
co$ne$s, and thin#ing that Re%ecca de (inte$ hadn't d$owned in a %ay %ut in 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e! That
she had gone down, gu$gling and flailing, he$ st$ange %lac# eyes full of wate$, while the loons c$ied
out indiffe$ently in the twilight! So'eti'es " would get up and d$in# a glass of wate$! So'eti'es "
&ust tu$ned off the light afte$ " was once 'o$e su$e of whe$e " was, $olled ove$ on 'y side again,
and went %ac# to sleep!
"n the dayti'e " $a$ely thought of Sa$a 8aughs at all, and it was only 'uch late$ that " $eali=ed
so'ething is %adly out of whac# when the$e is such a dichoto'y %etween a pe$son's wa#ing and
sleeping lives! " thin# that Ha$old O%lows#i's call in Octo%e$ of :;;J was what #ic#ed off the
d$ea's! Ha$old's ostensi%le $eason fo$ calling was to cong$atulate 'e on the i'pending $elease of
Darcy's Admirer, which was ente$taining as hell and which also contained so'e e$tremely thought*
pro&oking shit! " suspected he had at least one othe$ ite' on his agenda + Ha$old usually does +
and " was $ight! He'd had lunch with 2e%$a (einstoc#, 'y edito$, the day %efo$e, and they had
gotten tal#ing a%out the fall of :;;?!
'8oo#s c$owded,' he said, 'eaning the fall lists, 'eaning specifically the fiction half of the fall
lists! 'And the$e a$e so'e su$p$ise additions! 2ean 1oont= + '
'" thought he usually pu%lished in 6anua$y,' " said!
'He does, %ut 2e%$a hea$s this one 'ay %e delayed! He wants to add a section, o$ so'ething!
Also the$e's a Ha$old Ro%%ins, "he 6redators + '
'.ig deal!'
'Ro%%ins still has his fans, i#e, still has his fans! As you you$self have pointed out on 'o$e
than one occasion, fiction w$ite$s have a long a$c!'
'Uh*huh!' " switched the telephone to the othe$ ea$ and leaned %ac# in 'y chai$! " caught a
gli'pse of the f$a'ed Sa$a 8aughs photo ove$ 'y des# when " did! " would %e visiting it at g$eate$
length and p$oxi'ity that night in 'y d$ea's, although " didn't #now that then7 all " #new then was
that " wished li#e al'ighty fuc# that Ha$old O%lows#i would hu$$y up and get to the point!
'" sense i'patience, ichael 'y %oy,' Ha$old said! '2id " catch you at you$ des#B A$e you
w$itingB'
'6ust finished fo$ the day,' " said! '" a' thin#ing a%out lunch, howeve$!'
'"'ll %e )uic#,' he p$o'ised, '%ut hang with 'e, this is i'po$tant! The$e 'ay %e as 'any as five
othe$ w$ite$s that we didn't expect pu%lishing next fallD 1en 9ollett ! ! ! it's supposed to %e his %est
since 4ye of the Needle ! ! ! .elva 0lain ! ! ! 6ohn 6a#es ! ! ! '
'None of those guys plays tennis on 'y cou$t,' " said, although " #new that was not exactly
Ha$old's point7 Ha$old's point was that the$e a$e only fifteen slots on the "imes list!
'How a%out 6ean Auel, finally pu%lishing the next of he$ sex*a'ong*the*cave*people epicsB' " sat
up!
'6ean AuelB ReallyB'
'(ell ! ! ! not a hund$ed pe$cent, %ut it loo#s good! 8ast %ut not least is a new a$y Higgins
3la$#! " #now what tennis cou$t she plays on, and so do you!' "f "'d gotten that so$t of news six o$
seven yea$s ea$lie$, when "'d felt " had a g$eat deal 'o$e to p$otect, " would have %een f$othing7
a$y Higgins 3la$# did play on the sa'e cou$t, sha$ed exactly the sa'e audience, and so fa$ ou$
pu%lishing schedules had %een a$$anged to #eep us out of each othe$'s way ! ! ! which was to 'y
%enefit $athe$ than he$s, let 'e assu$e you! 5oing nose to nose, she would c$ea' 'e! As the late
6i' 3$oce so wisely o%se$ved, you don't tug on Supe$'an's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you
don't pull the 'as# off that old 8one Range$, and you don't 'ess a$ound with a$y Higgins 3la$#!
Not if you'$e ichael Noonan, anyway!
'How did this happenB' " as#ed! " don't thin# 'y tone was pa$ticula$ly o'inous, %ut Ha$old
$eplied in the ne$vous, stu'%ling*all*ove$*his*own*wo$ds fashion of a 'an who suspects he 'ay %e
fi$ed o$ even %eheaded fo$ %ea$ing evil tidings!
'" don't #now! She &ust happened to get an ext$a idea this yea$, " guess! That does happen, "'ve
%een told!'
As a fellow who had ta#en his sha$e of dou%le*dips " #new it did, so " si'ply as#ed Ha$old what
he wanted! "t see'ed the )uic#est and easiest way to get hi' to $elin)uish the phone! The answe$
was no su$p$ise7 what he and 2e%$a both wanted + not to 'ention all the $est of 'y 0utna' pals
+ was a %oo# they could pu%lish in late su''e$ of ';?, thus getting in f$ont of s! 3la$# and the
$est of the co'petition %y a couple of 'onths! Then, in Nove'%e$, the 0utna' sales $eps would
give the novel a healthy second push, with the 3h$ist'as season in 'ind!
'So they say,' " $eplied! 8i#e 'ost novelists -and in this $ega$d the successful a$e no diffe$ent
f$o' the unsuccessful, indicating the$e 'ight %e so'e 'e$it to the idea as well as the usual f$ee*
floating pa$anoia/, " neve$ t$usted pu%lishe$s' p$o'ises!
'" thin# you can %elieve the' on this, i#e + Darcy's Admirer was the last %oo# of you$ old
cont$act, $e'e'%e$!' Ha$old sounded al'ost sp$ightly at the thought of fo$thco'ing cont$act
negotiations with 2e%$a (einstoc# and 0hyllis 5$ann at 0utna'! 'The %ig thing is they still li#e
you! They'd li#e you even 'o$e, " thin#, if they saw pages with you$ na'e on the' %efo$e
Than#sgiving!'
'They want 'e to give the' the next %oo# in Nove'%e$B Next month?' " in&ected what " hoped
was the $ight note of inc$edulity into 'y voice, &ust as if " hadn't had .elen's 6romise in a safe*
deposit %ox fo$ al'ost eleven yea$s! "t had %een the fi$st nut " had sto$ed7 it was now the only nut "
had left!
'No, no, you could have until 6anua$y fifteenth, at least,' he said, t$ying to sound 'agnani'ous! "
found 'yself wonde$ing whe$e he and 2e%$a had gotten thei$ lunch! So'e fly place, " would have
%et 'y life on that! ay%e 9ou$ Seasons! 6ohanna always used to call that place 4alli and the 9ou$
Seasons! '"t 'eans they'd have to c$ash p$oduction, seriously c$ash it, %ut they'$e willing to do that!
The $eal )uestion is whethe$ o$ not you could c$ash p$oduction!'
'" thin# " could, %ut it'll cost e',' " said! 'Tell the' to thin# of it as %eing li#e sa'e*day se$vice on
you$ d$y*cleaning!'
'Oh what a $otten sha'e fo$ the'C' Ha$old sounded as if he we$e 'ay%e &ac#ing off and had
$eached the point whe$e Old 9aithful splu$ts and eve$y%ody snaps thei$ "nsta'atics!
'How 'uch do you thin# + '
'A su$cha$ge tac#ed on to the advance is p$o%a%ly the way to go,' he said! 'They'll get pouty of
cou$se, clai' that the 'ove is in you$ inte$est, too! 6rimarily in you$ inte$est, even! .ut %ased on
the ext$a*wo$# a$gu'ent ! ! ! the 'idnight oil you'll have to %u$n ! ! ! '
'The 'ental agony of c$eation ! ! ! the pangs of p$e'atu$e %i$th ! ! ! '
'Right ! ! ! $ight ! ! ! " thin# a ten pe$cent su$cha$ge sounds a%out $ight!' He spo#e &udiciously, li#e
a 'an t$ying to %e &ust as da'ned fai$ as he possi%ly could! yself, " was wonde$ing how 'any
wo'en would induce %i$th a 'onth o$ so ea$ly if they got paid two o$ th$ee hund$ed g$and ext$a fo$
doing so! 0$o%a%ly so'e )uestions a$e %est left unanswe$ed!
And in 'y case, what diffe$ence did it 'a#eB The godda' thing was w$itten, wasn't itB
'(ell, see if you can 'a#e the deal,' " said! ',es, %ut " don't thin# we want to %e tal#ing a%out &ust
a single %oo# he$e, o#ayB " thin# + '
'Ha$old, what " want $ight now is to eat so'e lunch!'
',ou sound a little tense, ichael! "s eve$ything + '
'Eve$ything is fine! Tal# to the' a%out &ust one %oo#, with a sweetene$ fo$ speeding up
p$oduction at 'y end! O#ayB'
'O#ay,' he said afte$ one of his 'ost significant pauses! '.ut " hope this doesn't 'ean that you
won't ente$tain a th$ee* o$ fou$*%oo# cont$act late$ on! a#e hay while the sun shines, $e'e'%e$!
"t's the 'otto Of cha'pions!'
'3$oss each %$idge when you co'e to it is the 'otto of cha'pions,' " said, and that night " d$ea't
" went to Sa$a 8aughs again!
"n that d$ea' + in all the d$ea's " had that fall and winte$ + " a' wal#ing up the lane to the
lodge! The lane is a two*'ile loop th$ough the woods with ends opening onto Route L?! "t has a
nu'%e$ at eithe$ end -8ane 9o$ty*two, if it 'atte$s/ in case you have to call in a fi$e, %ut no na'e!
No$ did 6o and " eve$ give it one, not even %etween ou$selves! "t is na$$ow, $eally &ust a dou%le $ut
with ti'othy and witchg$ass g$owing on the c$own! (hen you d$ive in, you can hea$ that g$ass
whispe$ing li#e low voices against the unde$ca$$iage of you$ ca$ o$ t$uc#!
" don't d$ive in the d$ea', though! " neve$ d$ive! "n these d$ea's " wal#!
The t$ees huddle in close on eithe$ side of the lane! The da$#ening s#y ove$head is little 'o$e
than a slot! Soon " will %e a%le to see the fi$st peeping sta$s! Sunset is past! 3$ic#ets chi$$! 8oons c$y
on the la#e! S'all things + chip'un#s, p$o%a%ly, o$ the occasional s)ui$$el + $ustle in the woods!
Now " co'e to a di$t d$iveway sloping down the hill on 'y $ight! "t is ou$ d$iveway, 'a$#ed
with a little wooden sign which $eads SARA 8AU5HS! " stand at the head of it, %ut " don't go down!
.elow is the lodge! "t's all logs and added*on wings, with a dec# &utting out %ehind! 9ou$teen $oo's
in all, a $idiculous nu'%e$ of $oo's! "t should loo# ugly and aw#wa$d, %ut so'ehow it does not!
The$e is a %$ave*dowage$ )uality to Sa$a, the loo# of a lady p$essing $esolutely on towa$d he$
hund$edth yea$, still ta#ing p$etty good st$ides in spite of he$ a$th$itic hips and gi'py old #nees!
The cent$al section is the oldest, dating %ac# to :;AA o$ so! Othe$ sections we$e added in the
thi$ties, fo$ties, and sixties! Once it was a hunting lodge7 fo$ a %$ief pe$iod in the ea$ly seventies it
was ho'e to a s'all co''une of t$anscendental hippies! These we$e lease o$ $ental deals7 the
owne$s f$o' the late fo$ties until :;?< we$e the Hinge$'ans, 2a$$en and a$ie ! ! ! then a$ie
alone when 2a$$en died in :;J:! The only visi%le addition f$o' ou$ pe$iod of owne$ship is the tiny
2SS dish 'ounted on the cent$al $oofpea#! That was 6ohanna's idea, and she neve$ $eally got a
chance to en&oy it!
.eyond the house, the la#e gli''e$s in the afte$glow of sunset! The d$iveway, " see, is ca$peted
with %$own pine needles and litte$ed with fallen %$anches! The %ushes which g$ow on eithe$ side of
it have $un wild, $eaching out to one anothe$ li#e love$s ac$oss the na$$owed gap which sepa$ates
the'! "f you %$ought a ca$ down he$e, the %$anches would sc$ape and unpleasantly against its sides!
.elow, " see, the$e's 'oss g$owing logs of the 'ain house, and th$ee la$ge sunflowe$s with faces
li#e have g$own up th$ough the %oa$ds of the little d$iveway*side! The ove$all feeling is not neglect,
exactly, %ut forgottenness(
The$e is a %$eath of %$ee=e, and its coldness on 'y s#in 'a#es 'e that " have %een sweating! "
can s'ell pine + a s'ell which is sou$ and clean at the sa'e ti'e + and the faint %ut so'ehow
s'ell of the la#e! 2a$# Sco$e is one of the cleanest, deepest in aine! "t was %igge$ until the late
thi$ties, a$ie Hinge$'an us7 that was when (este$n aine Elect$ic, wo$#ing hand in hand the
'ills and pape$ ope$ations a$ound Ru'fo$d, had gotten state to da' the 5essa Rive$! a$ie also
showed us so'e cha$'ing photog$aphs of white*f$oc#ed ladies and vested gentle'en in canoes +
snaps we$e f$o' the ti'e of the 9i$st (o$ld (a$, she said, and to one of the young wo'en, f$o=en
fo$eve$ on the $i' of the with a d$ipping paddle up$aised! 'That's 'y 'othe$,' she said, the 'an
she's th$eatening with the paddle is 'y fathe$!'
8oons c$ying, thei$ voices li#e loss! Now " can see 4enus in the da$#*s#y! Sta$ light, sta$ %$ight,
wish " 'ay, wish " 'ight ! ! ! in these " always wish fo$ 6ohanna!
(ith 'y wish 'ade, " t$y to wal# down the d$iveway! Of cou$se " do! "tMs 'y house, isn't itB
(he$e else would " go %ut 'y house, now that da$# and now that the stealthy $ustling in the woods
see's close$ and so'ehow 'o$e pu$posefulB (he$e else can " goB "t's da$#, and it will %e
f$ightening to go into that da$# place alone -suppose %een left so long aloneB suppose she's ang$yB/,
%ut " 'ust! "f the elect$icity's off, "'ll light one of the hu$$icane la'ps we #eep in a #itchen ca%inet!
" can't go down! y legs won't 'ove! "t's as if 'y %ody #nows so'ething a%out the house down
the$e that 'y %$ain does not! The %$ee=e $ises again, chilling gooseflesh out onto 'y s#in, and "
wonde$ what " have done to get 'yself all sweaty li#e this! Have " %een $unningB And if so, what
have " %een $unning towa$dB O$ f$o'B
y hai$ is sweaty, too7 it lies on 'y %$ow in an unpleasantly heavy clu'p! " $aise 'y hand to
%$ush it away and see the$e is a shallow cut, fai$ly $ecent, $unning ac$oss the %ac#, &ust %eyond the
#nuc#les! So'eti'es this cut is on 'y $ight hand, so'eti'es it's on the left! " thin#, 1f this is a
dream' the details are good! Always that sa'e thoughtD 1f this is a dream' the details are good! "t's
the a%solute t$uth! They a$e a novelist's details ! ! ! %ut in d$ea's, pe$haps eve$yone is a novelist!
How is one to #nowB
Now Sa$a 8aughs is only a da$# hul# down %elow, and " $eali=e " don't want to go down the$e,
anyway! " a' a 'an who has t$ained his 'ind to 'is%ehave, and " can i'agine too 'any things
waiting fo$ 'e inside! A $a%id $accoon c$ouched in a co$ne$ of the #itchen! .ats in the %ath*$oo'
+ if distu$%ed they'll c$owd the ai$ a$ound 'y c$inging face, s)uea#ing and flutte$ing against 'y
chee#s with thei$ dusty wings! Even one of (illia' 2en%$ough's fa'ous 3$eatu$es f$o' .eyond
the Unive$se, now hiding unde$ the po$ch and watching 'e app$oach with glitte$ing, pus*$i''ed
eyes!
'(ell, " can't stay up he$e,' " say, %ut 'y legs won't 'ove, and it see's " will %e staying up he$e,
whe$e the d$iveway 'eets the lane7 that " will %e staying up he$e, li#e it o$ not! Now the $ustling in
the woods %ehind 'e sounds not li#e s'all ani'als -'ost of the' would %y then %e nested o$
%u$$owed fo$ the night, anyway/ %ut app$oaching footsteps! " t$y to tu$n and see, %ut " can't even do
that ! ! !
! ! ! and that was whe$e " usually wo#e up! The fi$st thing " always did was to tu$n ove$,
esta%lishing 'y $etu$n to $eality %y de'onst$ating to 'yself that 'y %ody would once 'o$e o%ey
'y 'ind! So'eti'es + 'ost ti'es, actually + " would find 'yself thin#ing #anderley' 1 ha&e
dreamt again of #anderley! The$e was so'ething c$eepy a%out this -the$e's so'ething c$eepy
a%out any $epeating d$ea', " thin#, a%out #nowing you$ su%conscious is digging o%sessively at
so'e o%&ect that won't %e dislodged/, %ut " would %e lying if " didn't add that so'e pa$t of 'e
en&oyed the %$eathless su''e$ cal' in which the d$ea' always w$apped 'e, and that pa$t also
en&oyed the sadness and fo$e%oding " felt when " awo#e! The$e was an exotic st$angeness to the
d$ea' that was 'issing f$o' 'y wa#ing life, now that the $oad leading out of 'y i'agination was
so effectively %loc#ed!
The only ti'e " $e'e'%e$ %eing $eally f$ightened -and " 'ust tell " don't co'pletely t$ust any of
these 'e'o$ies, %ecause fo$ so long they didn't see' to exist at all/ was when " awo#e one night
spea#ing clea$ly into the da$# of 'y %ed$oo'D 'So'ething's %ehind 'e, don't let it get 'e,
so'ething in the woods, please don't let it get 'e!' wasn't the wo$ds the'selves that f$ightened 'e
so 'uch as the tone in which they we$e spo#en! "t was the voice of a 'an on the $aw edge of panic,
and ha$dly see'ed li#e 'y own voice at all!
Two days %efo$e 3h$ist'as of :;;J, " once 'o$e d$ove down to 9idelity whe$e once 'o$e the %an#
'anage$ esco$ted 'e to 'y safe*%ox in the fluo$escent*lit cataco'%s! As we wal#ed down the
stai$s he assu$ed 'e -fo$ the do=enth ti'e, at least/ that his wife was a huge fan of 'y wo$#, she'd
$ead all 'y %oo#s, couldn't get enough! 9o$ the do=enth ti'e -at least/ " $eplied that now " 'ust get
him in 'y clutches! He $esponded with his usual chuc#le! " thought of this oft*$epeated exchange as
.an#e$'s 3o''union!
$! Nuinlan inse$ted his #ey in Slot A and tu$ned it! Then, as disc$eetly as a pi'p who has
conveyed a custo'e$ to a who$e's c$i%, he left! " inse$ted 'y own #ey in Slot ., tu$ned it, and
opened the d$awe$! "t ve$y vast now! The one $e'aining 'anusc$ipt %ox see'ed al'ost to )uail in
the fa$ co$ne$, li#e an a%andoned puppy who so'ehow #nows his si%s have %een ta#en off and
gassed! 6romise was sc$awled ac$oss the top in fat %lac# lette$s! " could %a$ely $e'e'%e$ what the
godda' sto$y was a%out!
" snatched that ti'e*t$avelle$ f$o' the eighties and sla''ed the %ox shut! Nothing left in the$e
now %ut dust! -i&e me that, 6o had hissed in 'y d$ea' + it was the fi$st ti'e "'d thought of that
one in yea$s! -i&e me that' it's my dust*catcher(
$ Nuinlan, "'' finished,' " called! y voice sounded $ough and unsteady to 'y own ea$s, %ut
Nuinlan see'ed to sense nothing w$ong ! ! ! o$ pe$haps he was &ust %eing disc$eet! " can't have %een
the only custo'e$ afte$ all, who found his o$ he$ visits to this financial ve$sion of 9o$est 8awn
e'otionally dist$essful!
'"'' $eally going to $ead one of you$ %oo#s,' he said, d$opping an involunta$y little glance at the
%ox " was holding -" suppose " could have %$ought a %$iefcase to put it in, %ut on those expeditions "
neve$ did/! '"n fact, " thin# "'ll put it on 'y list of New ,ea$'s $esolutions!'
',ou do that,' " said! ',ou &ust do that, $! Nuinlan!'
'a$#,' he said! '0lease!' He'd said this %efo$e, too!
" had co'posed two lette$s, which " slipped into the 'anusc$ipt %ox %efo$e setting out fo$
9ede$al Exp$ess! .oth had %een w$itten on 'y co'pute$, which 'y %ody would let 'e use as long
as " chose the Note 0ad function! "t was only opening (o$d Six that caused the sto$'s to sta$t! "
neve$ t$ied to co'pose a novel using the Note 0ad function, unde$standing that if " did, "'d li#ely
lose that option, too ! ! ! not to 'ention 'y a%ility to play Sc$a%%le and do c$osswo$ds on the
'achine! " had t$ied a couple of ti'es to co'pose longhand, with spectacula$ lac# of success! The
p$o%le' wasn't what " had once hea$d desc$i%ed as 'sc$een shyness'7 " had p$oved that to 'yself!
One of the notes was to Ha$old, the othe$ to 2e%$a (einstoc#, and %oth said p$etty 'uch the
sa'e thingD he$e's the new %oo#, .elen's 6romise, hope you li#e it as 'uch as " do, if it see's a
little $ough it's %ecause " had to wo$# a lot of ext$a hou$s to finish it this soon, e$$y 3h$ist'as,
Happy Hanu##ah, E$in 5o .$agh, t$ic# o$ t$eat, hope so'eone gives you a fuc#ing pony!
" stood fo$ al'ost an hou$ in a line of shuffling, %itte$*eyed late 'aile$s -3h$ist'as is such a
ca$ef$ee, low*p$essu$e ti'e + that's one of the things " love a%out it/, with .elen's 6romise unde$
'y left a$' and a pape$%ac# copy of Nelson 2eille's "he harm School in 'y $ight hand!
" $ead al'ost fifty pages %efo$e ent$usting 'y final unpu%lished novel to a ha$$ied*loo#ing cle$#!
(hen " wished he$ a e$$y 3h$ist'as she shudde$ed and said nothing!
3HA0TER 9OUR
The phone was $inging when " wal#ed in 'y f$ont doo$! "t was 9$an# as#ing 'e if "'d li#e to &oin
hi' fo$ 3h$ist'as! 6oin them, as 'atte$ of fact7 all of his %$othe$s and thei$ fa'ilies we$e co'ing!
" opened 'y 'outh to say no + the last thing on ea$th " needed was a "$ish 3h$ist'as with
eve$y%ody d$in#ing whis#ey and waxing senti'ental a%out 6o while pe$haps two do=en snotca#ed
$ug$ats c$awled a$ound the floo$ + and hea$d 'yself saying "'d co'e!
9$an# sounded as su$p$ised as " felt, %ut honestly delighted! '9antasticC' He c$ied! '(hen can you
get he$eB'
" was in the hall, 'y galoshes d$ipping on the tile, and f$o' whe$e " standing " could loo#
th$ough the a$ch and into the living $oo'! The$e was no 3h$ist'as t$ee7 " hadn't %othe$ed with one
since 6o died! The $oo' loo#ed %oth ghastly and 'uch too %ig to 'e ! ! ! a $olle$ $in# fu$nished in
Ea$ly A'e$ican!
'"'ve %een out $unning e$$ands,' " said! 'How a%out " th$ow so'e in a %ag, get %ac# into the ca$,
and co'e south while the still %lowing wa$' ai$B'
'T$e'endous,' 9$an# said without a 'o'ent's hesitation! '(e can have us a sane %achelo$
evening %efo$e the Sons and 2aughte$s of East alden sta$t a$$iving! "'' pou$ing you a d$in# as
soon as " get off the telephone!'
'Then " guess " %ette$ get $olling,' " said!
That was hands down the %est holiday since 6ohanna died! The only good holiday, " guess! 9o$ fou$
days " was an hono$a$y A$len! " d$an# too 'uch, toasted 6ohanna's 'e'o$y too 'any ti'es ! ! ! and
#new, so'ehow, that she'd %e pleased to #now " was doing it! Two %a%ies spit up on 'e, one dog
got into %ed with 'e in the 'iddle of the night, and Nic#y A$len's siste$*in*law 'ade a %lea$y pass
at 'e on the night afte$ 3h$ist'as, when she caught 'e alone in the #itchen 'a#ing a tu$#ey
sandwich! " #issed he$ %ecause she clea$ly wanted to %e #issed, and an adventu$ous -o$ pe$haps
''ischievous' is the wo$d " want/ hand g$oped 'e fo$ a 'o'ent in a place whe$e no one othe$ than
'yself had g$oped in al'ost th$ee and a half yea$s! "t was a shoc#, %ut not an enti$ely unpleasant
one!
"t went no fu$the$ + in a houseful of A$lens and with Susy 2onahue not )uite officially divo$ced
yet -li#e 'e, she was an hono$a$y A$len that 3h$ist'as/, it ha$dly could have done + %ut " decided
it was ti'e to leave ! ! ! unless, that was, " wanted to go d$iving at high speed down a na$$ow st$eet
that 'ost li#ely ended in a %$ic# wall! " left on the twenty*seventh, ve$y glad that " had co'e, and "
gave 9$an# a fie$ce good%ye hug as we stood %y 'y ca$! 9o$ fou$ days " hadn't thought at all a%out
how the$e was now only dust in 'y safe*deposit %ox at 9idelity Union, and fo$ fou$ nights " had
slept st$aight th$ough until eight in the 'o$ning, so'eti'es wa#ing up with a sou$ sto'ach and a
hangove$ headache, %ut neve$ once in the 'iddle of the night with the thought #anderley' 1 ha&e
dreamt again of #anderley going th$ough 'y 'ind! " got %ac# to 2e$$y feeling $ef$eshed and
$enewed!
The fi$st day of :;;? dawned clea$ and cold and still and %eautiful! " got up, showe$ed, then
stood at the %ed$oo' window, d$in#ing coffee! "t suddenly occu$$ed to 'e + with all the si'ple,
powe$ful $eality of ideas li#e up is ove$ you$ head and down is unde$ you$ feet + that " could w$ite
now! "t was a new yea$, so'ething had changed, and " could w$ite now if " wanted to! The $oc# had
$olled away!
" went into the study, sat down at the co'pute$, and tu$ned it on! y hea$t was %eating no$'ally,
the$e was no sweat on 'y fo$ehead o$ the %ac# of 'y nec#, and 'y hands we$e wa$'! " pulled
down the 'ain 'enu, the one you get when you clic# on the apple, and the$e was 'y (o$d Six! "
clic#ed on it! The pen*and*pa$ch'ent logo ca'e up, and when it did " suddenly couldn't %$eathe! "t
was as if i$on %ands had cla'ped a$ound 'y chest! " pushed %ac# f$o' the des#, gagging and
clawing at the $ound nec# of the sweatshi$t " was wea$ing! The wheels of 'y office chai$ caught on
little th$ow $ug + one of 6o's finds in the last yea$ of he$ life + and " tipped $ight ove$ %ac#wa$d!
y head %anged the floo$ and " saw a fountain of %$ight spa$#s go whi==ing ac$oss 'y field of
vision! " suppose " was luc#y to %lac# out, %ut " thin# 'y $eal luc# on New ,ea$'s o$ning of :;;?
was that " tipped ove$ the way " did! "f "'d only pushed %ac# f$o' the des# so that " was still loo#ing
at the logo + and at the hideous %lan# sc$een followed it + " thin# " 'ight have cho#ed to death!
'(hen " stagge$ed to 'y feet, " was at least a%le to %$eathe! y th$oat the si=e of a st$aw, and
each inhale 'ade a wei$d sc$ea'ing sound, %ut " was %$eathing! " lu$ched into the %ath$oo' and
th$ew up in the %asin with such fo$ce that vo'it splashed the 'i$$o$! " g$ayed out and 'y #nees
%uc#led! This ti'e it was 'y %$ow " st$uc#, thun#ing it against the lip of the %asin, and although the
%ac# of 'y head didn't %leed the$e was a ve$y $especta%le lu'p the$e %y noon, though/, 'y
fo$ehead did, a little! This latte$ %u'p also left a pu$ple 'a$#, which " of cou$se lied a%out, telling
fol#s who as#ed that "'d $un into the %ath$oo' doo$ in the 'iddle of the night, silly 'e, that'll teach
a fella to get up at two A!! without tu$ning on a la'p!
,'(hen " $egained co'plete consciousness -if the$e is such a state/, " was cu$led up on the floo$! "
got up, disinfected the cut on 'y fo$ehead, and sat on the lip of the tu% with 'y head lowe$ed to
'y #nees until " felt confident enough to stand up! " sat the$e fo$ fifteen 'inutes, " guess, and in
that space of ti'e " decided that %a$$ing so'e 'i$acle, 'y ca$ee$ was ove$! Ha$old would sc$ea' in
pain and 2e%$a would 'oan in dis%elief, %ut what could they doB Send out the 0u%lication 0oliceB
'e with the .oo#*of*the*onth*3lu% 5estapoB Even if they could, what diffe$ence would it 'a#eB
,ou couldn't get sap out of a %$ic# o$ %lood out of a stone! .a$$ing so'e 'i$aculous $ecove$y, 'y
life as a w$ite$ was ove$!
And if it is? " as#ed 'yself! What's on for the back forty' #ike? ,ou can play a lot of Scrabble in
forty years' go on a lot of rossword ruises' drink a lot of whiskey( But is that enough? What else
are you going to put on your back forty?
" didn't want to thin# a%out that, not then! The next fo$ty yea$s could ta#e ca$e of the'selves7 "
would %e happy &ust to get th$ough New ,ea$'s 2ay of :;;?!
(hen " felt " had 'yself unde$ cont$ol, " went %ac# into 'y study, shuffled to the co'pute$ with
'y eyes $esolutely on 'y feet, felt a$ound fo$ the $ight %utton, and tu$ned off the 'achine! ,ou can
da'age the p$og$a' shutting down li#e that without putting it away, %ut unde$ the ci$cu'stances, "
ha$dly thought it 'atte$ed!
That night " once again d$ea'ed " was wal#ing at twilight on 8ane 9o$ty*two, which leads to
Sa$a 8aughs7 once 'o$e " wished on the evening sta$ as the loons c$ied on the la#e, and once 'o$e
" sensed so'ething in the woods %ehind 'e, edging eve$ close$! "t see'ed 'y 3h$ist'as holiday
was ove$!
That was a ha$d, cold winte$, lots of snow and in 9e%$ua$y a flu epide'ic that did fo$ an awful lot
of 2e$$y's old fol#s! "t too# the' the way a ha$d wind will ta#e old t$ees afte$ an ice sto$'! "t
'issed 'e co'pletely! " hadn't so 'uch as a case of the sniffles that winte$!
"n a$ch, " flew to 0$ovidence and too# pa$t in (ill (eng's New England 3$osswo$d 3hallenge!
" placed fou$th and won fifty %uc#s! " f$a'ed the uncashed chec# and hung it in the living $oo'!
Once upon a ti'e, 'ost of 'y f$a'ed 3e$tificates of T$iu'ph -6o's ph$ase7 all the good ph$ases a$e
6o's ph$ases, it see's to 'e/ went up on 'y office walls, %ut %y a$ch of :;;?, " wasn't going in
the$e ve$y 'uch! (hen " wanted to play Sc$a%%le against the co'pute$ o$ do a tou$ney*level
c$osswo$d pu==le, " used the 0owe$%oo# and sat at the #itchen ta%le!
" $e'e'%e$ sitting the$e one day, opening the 0owe$%oo#'s 'ain 'enu, going down to the
c$osswo$d pu==les, then d$opping the cu$so$ two o$ th$ee ite's fu$the$, until it had highlighted 'y
old pal, (o$d Six!
(hat swept ove$ 'e then wasn't f$ust$ation o$ i'potent, %al#ed fu$y -"'d expe$ienced a lot of
%oth since finishing All the Way from the "op/, %ut sadness and si'ple longing! 8oo#ing at the
(o$d Six icon was suddenly li#e loo#ing at the pictu$es of 6o " #ept in 'y wallet! Studying those,
"'d so'eti'es thin# that " would sell 'y i''o$tal soul in o$de$ have he$ %ac# again ! ! ! and on that
day in a$ch, " thought " would sell 'y soul to %e a%le to w$ite a sto$y again!
-o on and try it' then, a voice whispe$ed! #aybe things ha&e changed(
Except that nothing had changed, and " #new it! So instead of opening (o$d Six, " 'oved it
ac$oss to the t$ash %a$$el in the lowe$ $ighthand co$ne$ of the sc$een, and d$opped it in! 5ood%ye,
old pal!
(einstoc# called a lot that winte$, 'ostly with good news! Ea$ly in a$ch she $epo$ted that
.elen's 6romise had %een pic#ed as one half of the 8ite$a$y 5uild's 'ain selection fo$ August, the
othe$ half a legal th$ille$ %y Steve a$tini, anothe$ vete$an of the eight*to*fifteen seg'ent of the
"imes %estselle$ list! And 'y .$itish pu%lishe$, 2e%$a, loved .elen, was su$e it would %e 'y
'%$ea#th$ough %oo#!' -y .$itish sales had always lagged!/
'6romise is so$t of a new di$ection fo$ you,' 2e%$a said! '(ouldn't you sayB'
'" #ind of thought it was,' " confessed, and wonde$ed how 2e%%ie $espond if " told he$ 'y new*
di$ection %oo# had %een w$itten a do=en yea$s ago!
'"t's got ! ! ! " don't #now ! ! ! a #ind of maturity!'
'Than#s!'
'i#eB " thin# the connection's going! ,ou sound 'uffled!'
Su$e " did! " was %iting down on the side of 'y hand to #eep f$o' howling with laughte$! Now,
cautiously, " too# it out of 'y 'outh and exa'ined the %ite*'a$#s! '.ette$B'
',es, lots! So what's the new one a%outB 5ive 'e a hint!'
',ou #now the answe$ to that one, #iddo!'
2e%$a laughed! '',ou'll have to $ead the %oo# to find out, 6osephine,'' she said! 'RightB'
',essu'!'
'(ell, #eep it co'ing! ,ou$ pals at 0utna' a$e c$a=y a%out the way you'$e ta#ing it to the next
level!'
" said good%ye, " hung up the telephone, and then " laughed wildly fo$ a%out ten 'inutes!
8aughed until " was c$ying! That's 'e, though! Always ta#ing it to the next level!
2u$ing this pe$iod " also ag$eed to do a phone inte$view with a Newsweek w$ite$ who was putting
togethe$ a piece on The New A'e$ican 5othic -whateve$ that was, othe$ than a ph$ase which 'ight
sell a few 'aga=ines/, and to sit fo$ a 6ublishers Weekly inte$view which would appea$ &ust %efo$e
pu%lication of .elen's 6romise! " ag$eed to these %ecause they %oth sounded soft%all, the so$t of
inte$views you could do ove$ the phone while you $ead you$ 'ail! And 2e%$a was delighted
%ecause " o$dina$ily say no to all the pu%licity! " hate that pa$t of the &o% and always have,
especially the hell of the live T4 chat*show, whe$e no%ody's eve$ $ead you$ godda' %oo# and the
fi$st )uestion is always '(he$e in the wo$ld do you get those wac#y ideasB' The pu%licity p$ocess is
li#e going to a sushi %a$ whe$e you'$e the sushi, and it was g$eat to get past it this ti'e with the
feeling that "'d %een a%le to give 2e%$a so'e good news she could ta#e to he$ %osses! ',es,' she
could say, 'he's still %eing a %ooge$ a%out pu%licity, %ut " got hi' to do a couple of things!'
All th$ough this 'y d$ea's of Sa$a 8aughs we$e going on + not eve$y night %ut eve$y second o$
thi$d night, with 'e neve$ thin#ing of the' in the dayti'e! " did 'y c$osswo$ds, " %ought 'yself an
acoustic steel guita$ and sta$ted lea$ning how to play it -" was neve$ going to %e invited to tou$ with
0atty 8oveless o$ Alan 6ac#son, howeve$/, " scanned each day's %loated o%itua$ies in the Derry
News fo$ na'es that " #new! " was p$etty 'uch do=ing on 'y feet, in othe$ wo$ds!
(hat %$ought all this to an end was a call f$o' Ha$old O%lows#i not 'o$e than th$ee days afte$
2e%$a's %oo#*clu% call! "t was sto$'ing out*side + a vicious snow*changing*ove$*to*sleet event
that p$oved to %e the last and %iggest %last of the winte$! .y 'id*evening the powe$ would %e off all
ove$ 2e$$y, %ut when Ha$old called at five 0!!, things we$e &ust getting c$an#ed up!
'" &ust had a ve$y good conve$sation with you$ edito$,' Ha$old said! 'A ve$y enlightening, ve$y
energi+ing conve$sation! 6ust got off the in fact!'
'OhB'
'Oh indeed! The$e's a feeling at 0utna', ichael, that this latest of you$s 'ay have a positive
effect on you$ sales position in the 'a$#et! "t's ve$y st$ong!'
',es,' " said, '"'' ta#ing it to the next level!'
'HuhB'
'"'' &ust %la%%ing, Ha$old! 5o on!'
'(ell ! ! ! Helen Nea$ing's a g$eat lead cha$acte$, and S#ate is you$ %est villain eve$!'
" said nothing!
'2e%$a $aised the possi%ility of 'a#ing .elen's 6romise the opene$ of a th$ee*%oo# cont$act! A
ve$y lucrati&e th$ee*%oo# cont$act! All without p$o'pting f$o' 'e! Th$ee is one 'o$e than any
pu%lishe$ has wanted to co''it to 'til now! " 'entioned nine 'illion dolla$s, th$ee pe$ %oo#, in
othe$ wo$ds, expecting he$ to laugh ! ! ! %ut an agent has to sta$t somewhere, and " always choose
the highest g$ound " can find! " thin# " 'ust have Ro'an 'ilita$y office$s so'ewhe$e %ac# in 'y
fa'ily t$ee!'
4thiopian rug*merchants' more like it, " thought, %ut didn't say! " felt the way you do when the
dentist has gone a little heavy on the Novocain and flooded you$ lips and tongue as well as you$
%ad tooth and the patch of gu' su$$ounding it! "f " t$ied to tal#, "'d p$o%a%ly only flap and sp$ead
spit! Ha$old was al'ost pu$$ing! A th$ee*%oo# cont$act fo$ the new 'atu$e ichael Noonan! Tall
tic#ets, %a%y!
This ti'e " didn't feel li#e laughing! This ti'e " felt li#e sc$ea'ing! Ha$old went on, happy and
o%livious! Ha$old didn't #now the %oo#%e$$y*t$ee had died! Ha$old didn't #now the new i#e
Noonan had cataclys'ic sho$tness of %$eath and p$o&ectile*vo'iting fits eve$y ti'e he t$ied to
w$ite!
',ou want to hea$ how she ca'e %ac# to 'e, ichaelB'
'8ay it on 'e!'
'(ell, nine's o%viously high, %ut it's as good a place to sta$t as any! (e feel this new %oo# is a
%ig step fo$wa$d fo$ hi'!' This is ext$ao$dina$y! 4$traordinary! Now, " haven't given anything
away, wanted to tal# to you fi$st, of cou$se, %ut " thin# we'$e loo#ing at seven*point*five, 'ini'u'!
"n fact + '
'No!'
He paused a 'o'ent! 8ong enough fo$ 'e to $eali=e " was g$ipping the phone so ha$d it hu$t 'y
hand! " had to 'a#e a conscious effo$t to $elax 'y g$ip! 'i#e, if you'll &ust hea$ 'e out + '
'" don't need to hea$ you out! " don't want to tal# a%out a new cont$act!'
'0a$don 'e fo$ disag$eeing, %ut the$e'll neve$ %e a %ette$ ti'e! Thin# a%out it, fo$ 3h$ist's sa#e!
(e'$e tal#ing top dolla$ he$e! "f you wait until afte$ .elen's 6romise is pu%lished, " can't gua$antee
that the sa'e offe$ + '
'" #now you can't,' " said! '" don't want gua$antees, " don't want offe$s, 1 don't want to talk
contract!'
',ou don't need to shout, i#e, " can hea$ you!'
Had " %een shoutingB ,es, " suppose " had %een!
'A$e you dissatisfied with 0utna''sB " thin# 2e%$a would %e ve$y dist$essed to hea$ that! " also
thin# 0hyllis 5$ann would do da'ned nea$ anything to add$ess any conce$ns you 'ight have!'
Are you sleeping with Debra' .arold? " thought, and all at once it see'ed li#e the 'ost logical
idea in the wo$ld + that du'py, fiftyish, %alding little Ha$old O%lows#i was 'a#ing it with 'y
%londe, a$istoc$atic, S'ith*educated edito$! Are you sleeping with her' do you talk about my future
while you're lying in bed together in a room at the 6la+a? Are the pair of you trying to figure how
many golden eggs you can get out of this tired old goose before you finally wring its neck and turn
it into p9t:? 1s that what you're up to?
'Ha$old, " can't tal# a%out this now, and " won't tal# a%out this now!'
'(hat's w$ongB (hy a$e you so upsetB " thought you'd %e pleased! Hell, " thought you'd %e ove$
the fuc#ing 'oon!'
'The$e's nothing w$ong! "t's &ust a %ad ti'e fo$ 'e to tal# long*te$' cont$act! ,ou'll have to
pa$don 'e, Ha$old! " have so'ething co'ing out of the oven!'
'3an we at least discuss this next w + '
'No,' " said, and hung up! " thin# it was the fi$st ti'e in 'y adult life "'d hung up on so'eone
who wasn't a telephone sales'an!
" had nothing co'ing out of the oven, of cou$se, and " was too upset to thin# a%out putting
so'ething in! " went into the living $oo' instead, pou$ed 'yself a sho$t whis#ey, and sat down in
f$ont of the T4 " sat the$e fo$ al'ost fou$ hou$s, loo#ing at eve$ything and seeing nothing! Outside,
the sto$' continued c$an#ing up! To'o$$ow the$e would %e t$ees down all ove$ 2e$$y and the
wo$ld would loo# li#e an ice sculptu$e!
At )ua$te$ past nine the powe$ went out, ca'e %ac# on fo$ thi$ty seconds o$ so, then went out and
stayed out! " too# this as a suggestion to stop thin#ing a%out Ha$old's useless cont$act and how 6o
would have cho$tled the idea of nine 'illion dolla$s! " got up, unplugged the %lac#ed*out T4 so it
wouldn't co'e %la$ing on at two in the 'o$ning -" needn't have wo$$ied7 the powe$ was off in 2e$$y
fo$ nea$ly two days/, and went upstai$s! " d$opped 'y clothes at the foot of the %ed, c$awled in
without even %othe$ing to %$ush 'y teeth, and was asleep in less than five 'inutes! " don't how
long afte$ that it was that the night'a$e ca'e!
"t was the last d$ea' " had in what " now thin# of as 'y 'ande$ley se$ies,' the cul'inating d$ea'!
"t was 'ade even wo$se, " suppose, %y un$elieva%le %lac#ness to which " awo#e!
"t sta$ted li#e the othe$s! "'' wal#ing up the lane, listening to the c$ic#ets and the loons, loo#ing
'ostly at the da$#ening slot of s#y ove$head! " $each the d$iveway, and he$e so'ething has
changed7 so'eone has put a little stic#e$ on the SARA 8AU5HS sign! " lean close$ and see it's a $adio
station stic#e$! (.8, it says! :AF!;, 0ORT8AN2'S RO31 AN2 RO88 .8"0!
9$o' the stic#e$ " loo# %ac# up into the s#y, and the$e is 4enus! " wish he$ as " always do, " wish
fo$ 6ohanna with the dan# and vaguely s'ell of the la#e in 'y nose!
So'ething lu'%e$s in the woods, $attling old leaves and %$ea#ing a %$anch! "t sounds %ig!
Better get down there, a voice in 'y head tells 'e! Something has taken out a contract on you'
#ichael( A three*book contract' and that's the worst kind(
1 can ne&er mo&e' 1 can only stand here( 1'&e got walker's block(
.ut that's &ust tal#! " can wal#! This ti'e " can wal#! " a' delighted! " have had a 'a&o$
%$ea#th$ough! "n the d$ea' " thin# "his changes e&erything5 "his changes e&erything5
2own the d$iveway " wal#, deepe$ and deepe$ into the clean %ut sou$ s'ell of pine, stepping ove$
so'e of the fallen %$anches, #ic#ing othe$s out of the way! " $aise 'y hand to %$ush the da'p hai$
off 'y fo$ehead and see the little sc$atch $unning ac$oss the %ac# of it! " stop to loo# at it, cu$ious!
No time for that, the d$ea'*voice says! -et down there( ,ou'&e got a book to write(
1 can't write, " $eply! "hat part's o&er( 1'm on the back forty now(
No, the voice says! The$e is so'ething $elentless a%out it that sca$es 'e! ,ou had writer's wal#,
not writer's %loc#, and as you can see' it's gone( Now hurry up and get down there(
1'm afraid' " tell the voice!
Afraid of what?
Well ( ( ( what if #rs( Dan&ers is down there?
The voice doesn't answe$! "t #nows "'' not af$aid of Re%ecca de (inte$'s house#eepe$, she's &ust
a cha$acte$ in an old %oo#, nothing %ut a %ag of %ones! So " %egin wal#ing again! " have no choice,
it see's, %ut at eve$y step 'y te$$o$ inc$eases, and %y the ti'e "'' halfway down to the shadowy
sp$awling %ul# of the log house, fea$ has sun# into 'y %ones li#e feve$! So'ething is w$ong he$e,
so'ething is all twisted up!
1'll run away' " thin#! 1'll run back the way 1 came' like the gingerbread man 1'll run' run all the
way back to Derry' if that's what it takes' and 1'll ne&er come here anymore(
Except " can hea$ slo%%e$ing %$eath %ehind 'e in the g$owing gloo', and padding footsteps! The
thing in the woods is now the thing in the d$iveway! "t's $ight %ehind 'e! "f " tu$n a$ound the sight
of it will #noc# the sanity out of 'y head in a single $oundhouse slap! So'ething with $ed eyes,
so'ething slu'ped and hung$y!
The house is 'y only hope of safety!
" wal# on! The c$owding %ushes clutch li#e hands! "n the light of a $ising 'oon -the 'oon has
neve$ $isen %efo$e in this d$ea', %ut " have neve$ stayed in it this long %efo$e/, the $ustling leaves
loo# li#e sa$donic faces! " see win#ing eyes and s'iling 'ouths! .elow 'e a$e the %lac# windows
of the house and " #now that the$e will %e no powe$ when " get inside, the sto$' has #noc#ed the
powe$ out, " will flic# the lightswitch up and down, up and down, until so'ething $eaches out and
ta#es 'y w$ist and pulls 'e li#e a love$ deepe$ into the da$#!
" a' th$ee )ua$te$s of the way down the d$iveway now! " can see the $ail$oad*tie steps leading
down to the la#e, and " can see the float out the$e on the wate$, a %lac# s)ua$e in a t$ac# of
'oonlight! .ill 2ean has put it out! " can also see an o%long so'ething lying at the place whe$e
d$iveway ends at the stoop! The$e has neve$ %een such an o%&ect %efo$e! (hat can it %eB
Anothe$ two o$ th$ee steps, and " #now! "t's a coffin, the one 9$an# A$len dic#e$ed fo$ ! ! !
%ecause, he said, the 'o$tician was t$ying to stic# it to 'e! "t's 6o's coffin, and lying on its side with
the top pa$tway open, enough fo$ 'e to see it's e'pty!
" thin# " want to sc$ea'! " thin# " 'ean to tu$n a$ound and $un %ac# up the d$iveway + " will
ta#e 'y chances with the thing %ehind 'e! .ut %efo$e " can, the %ac# doo$ of Sa$a 8aughs opens,
and a te$$i%le figu$e da$ting out into the g$owing da$#ness! "t is hu'an, this figu$e, and yet it's not!
"t is a c$u'pled white thing with %aggy a$'s up$aised! The$e is no face whe$e its face should %e,
and yet it is sh$ie#ing in a glottal, loonli#e voice! "t 'ust %e 6ohanna! She was a%le to escape he$
coffin, he$ winding sh$oud! She is all tangled up in it!
How hideously speedy this c$eatu$e isC "t doesn't d$ift as one i'agines ghosts d$ifting, %ut races
ac$oss the stoop towa$d the d$iveway! "t has %een waiting down he$e du$ing all the d$ea's when "
had %een f$o=en, and now that " have finally %een a%le to wal# down, it 'eans to have 'e! "'ll
sc$ea' when it w$aps 'e in its sil# a$'s, and " will sc$ea' when " s'ell its $otting, %ug*$addled
flesh and see its da$# sta$ing eyes th$ough the fine weave of the cloth! " will sc$ea' as the sanity
leaves 'y 'ind fo$eve$! " will sc$ea' ! ! ! %ut the$e is no one out he$e to hea$ 'e! Only the loons
will hea$ 'e! " have co'e again to ande$ley, and this ti'e " will neve$ leave!

The sh$ie#ing white thing $eached fo$ 'e and " wo#e up on the floo$ of c$ying out in a c$ac#ed,
ho$$ified voice and sla''ing 'y head $epeatedly against so'ething! How long %efo$e " finally
$eali=ed " was no longe$ asleep, that " wasn't at Sa$a 8aughsB How long %efo$e " $eali=ed that " had
fallen out of %ed at so'e point and had c$awled ac$oss the $oo' in 'y sleep, that " was on 'y
hands and #nees in a co$ne$, %utting 'y head against the place whe$e the walls ca'e togethe$,
doing it ove$ and ove$ again li#e a lunatic in an asylu'B
" didn't #now, couldn't with the powe$ out and the %edside cloc# dead! " #now that at fi$st "
couldn't 'ove out of the co$ne$ %ecause it felt safe$ than the wide$ $oo' would have done, and "
#now that fo$ a long ti'e the d$ea''s fo$ce held 'e even afte$ " wo#e up -'ostly, " i'agine,
%ecause " couldn't tu$n on a light and dispel its powe$/! " was af$aid that if " c$awled out of 'y
co$ne$, the white thing would %u$st out of 'y %ath$oo', sh$ie#ing its dead sh$ie#, eage$ to finish
what it had sta$ted! " #now " was shive$ing all ove$, and that " was cold and wet f$o' the waist
down, %ecause 'y %ladde$ had let go!
" stayed the$e in the co$ne$, gasping and wet, sta$ing into the da$#ness, wonde$ing if you could
have a night'a$e powe$ful enough in its i'age$y to d$ive you insane! " thought then -and thin#
now/ that " al'ost found out on that night in a$ch!
9inally " felt a%le to leave the co$ne$! Halfway ac$oss the floo$ " pulled off 'y wet pa&a'a pants,
and when " did that, " got diso$iented! (hat followed was a 'ise$a%le and su$$eal five 'inutes in
which " c$awled ai'lessly %ac# and fo$th in 'y fa'ilia$ %ed$oo', %u'ping into stuff and 'oaning
each ti'e " hit so'ething with a %lind, flailing hand! Each thing " touched at fi$st see'ed li#e that
awful white thing! Nothing " touched felt li#e anything " #new! (ith the $eassu$ing g$een nu'e$als
of the %edside cloc# gone and 'y sense of di$ection te'po$a$ily lost, " could have %een c$awling
a$ound a 'os)ue in Addis A%a%a!
At last " $an shoulde$*fi$st into the %ed! " stood up, yan#ed the pillowcase off the ext$a pillow,
and wiped 'y g$oin and uppe$ legs with it! Then " c$awled %ac# into %ed, pulled the %lan#ets up,
and lay the$e shive$ing, listening to the steady tic# of sleet on the windows!
The$e was no sleep fo$ 'e the $est of that night, and the d$ea' didn't fade as d$ea's usually do
upon wa#ing! " lay on 'y side, the shive$s slowly su%siding, thin#ing of he$ coffin the$e in the
d$iveway, thin#ing that it 'ade a #ind of 'ad sense + 6o had loved Sa$a, and if she we$e haunt
anyplace, it would %e the$e! .ut why would she want to hu$t 'eB (hy would 'y 6o eve$ want to
hu$t 'eB " could thin# of no $eason!
So'ehow the ti'e passed, and the$e ca'e a 'o'ent when " $eali=ed the ai$ had tu$ned a da$#
shade of g$ay7 the shapes of the fu$nitu$e in it li#e sentinels in fog! That was a little %ette$! That was
'o$e it! " would light the #itchen woodstove, " decided, and 'a#e st$ong coffee! .egin the wo$# of
getting this %ehind 'e!
" swung 'y legs out of %ed and $aised 'y hand to %$ush 'y sweat*hai$ off 'y fo$ehead! " f$o=e
with the hand in f$ont of 'y eyes! " 'ust have sc$aped it while " was c$awling, diso$iented, in the
da$# and to find 'y way %ac# to %ed! The$e was a shallow, clotted cut ac$oss the %ac#, &ust %elow
the #nuc#les!
3HA0TER 9"4E
Once, when " was sixteen, a plane went supe$sonic di$ectly ove$ 'y head!
" was wal#ing in the woods when it happened, thin#ing of so'e sto$y " was going to w$ite,
pe$haps, o$ how g$eat it would %e if 2o$een 9ou$nie$ wea#ened so'e 9$iday night and let 'e ta#e
off he$ panties while we we$e pa$#ed at the end of 3ush'an Road!
"n any case " was t$avelling fa$ $oads in 'y own 'ind, and when that %oo' went off, " was
caught totally %y su$p$ise! " went flat on the leafy g$ound with 'y hands ove$ 'y head and 'y
hea$t d$u''ing c$a=ily, su$e "'d $eached the end of 'y life -and while " was still a vi$gin/! "n 'y
fo$ty yea$s, that was the only thing which e)ualled the final d$ea' of the 'ande$ley se$ies' fo$
utte$ te$$o$!
" lay on the g$ound, waiting fo$ the ha''e$ to fall, and when thi$ty seconds o$ so passed and no
ha''e$ did fall, " %egan to $eali=e it had &ust %een so'e &et*&oc#ey f$o' the .$unswic# Naval Ai$
Station, too eage$ to wait until he was out ove$ the Atlantic %efo$e going to ach :! .ut, holy shit,
who eve$ could have guessed that it would %e so loudB
" got slowly to 'y feet and as " stood the$e with 'y hea$t finally slowing down, " $eali=ed "
wasn't the only thing that had %een sca$ed witless %y that sudden clea$*s#y %oo'! 9o$ the fi$st ti'e
in 'y 'e'o$y, the little patch of woods %ehind ou$ house in 0$out's Nec# was enti$ely silent! "
stood the$e in a dusty %a$ of sunlight, c$u'%led leaves all ove$ 'y tee*shi$t and &eans, holding 'y
%$eath, listening! " had neve$ hea$d a silence li#e it! Even on a cold day in 6anua$y, the woods
would have %een full of conve$sation!
At last a finch sang! The$e we$e two o$ th$ee seconds of silence, and then a &ay $eplied! Anothe$
two o$ th$ee seconds went %y, and then a c$ow added his two cents' wo$th! A woodpec#e$ %egan to
ha''e$ fo$ g$u%s! A chip'un# %u'%led th$ough so'e unde$%$ush on 'y left! A 'inute afte$ " had
stood up, the woods we$e fully alive with little noises again7 it was %ac# to %usiness as usual, and "
continued with 'y own! " neve$ fo$got that unexpected %oo', though, o$ the deathly silence which
followed it!
" thought of that 6une day often in the wa#e of the night'a$e, and the$e was nothing so
$e'a$#a%le in that! Things had changed, so'ehow, o$ could change ! ! ! %ut fi$st co'es silence
while we assu$e ou$selves that we a$e still unhu$t and that the dange$ + if the$e was dange$ + is
gone!
2e$$y was shut down fo$ 'ost of the following wee#, anyway! "ce and high winds caused a g$eat
deal of da'age du$ing the sto$', and a sudden twenty*deg$ee plunge in the te'pe$atu$e afte$wa$d
'ade the digging out ha$d and the cleanup slow! Added to that, the at'osphe$e afte$ a a$ch sto$'
is always dou$ and pessi'istic7 we get the' up this way eve$y yea$ -and two o$ th$ee in Ap$il fo$
good 'easu$e, if we'$e not luc#y/, %ut we neve$ see' to expect the'! Eve$y ti'e we get clouted,
we ta#e it pe$sonally!
On a day towa$d the end of that wee#, the weathe$ finally sta$ted to %$ea#! " too# advantage,
going out fo$ a cup of coffee and a 'id*'o$ning past$y at the little $estau$ant th$ee doo$s down
f$o' the Rite Aid whe$e 6ohanna did he$ last e$$and! " was sipping and chewing and wo$#ing the
newspape$ c$osswo$d when so'eone as#ed, '3ould " sha$e you$ %ooth, $! NoonanB "t's p$etty
c$owded in he$e today!'
" loo#ed up and saw an old 'an that " #new %ut couldn't )uite place!
'Ralph Ro%e$ts,' he said! '" voluntee$ down at the Red 3$oss! e and 'y wife, 8ois!'
'Oh, o#ay, su$e,' " said! " give %lood at the Red 3$oss eve$y six wee#s o$ so! Ralph Ro%e$ts was
one of the old pa$ties who passed out &uice and coo#ies afte$wa$d, telling you not to get up o$ 'a#e
any sudden 'ove'ents if you felt woo=y! '0lease, sit down!' He loo#ed at 'y pape$, folded open to
the c$osswo$d and lying in a patch of sun, as he slid into the %ooth! '2on't you find that doing the
c$osswo$d in the Derry News is so$t of li#e st$i#ing out the pitche$ in a %ase%all ga'eB' he as#ed!
" laughed and nodded! '" do it fo$ the sa'e $eason fol#s cli'% ount Eve$est, $! Ro%e$ts ! ! !
%ecause it's the$e! Only with the News c$osswo$d, no one eve$ falls off!'
'3all 'e Ralph! 0lease!'
'O#ay! And "'' i#e!'
'5ood!' He g$inned, $evealing teeth that we$e c$oo#ed and a little yellow, %ut all his own! '" li#e
getting to the fi$st na'es! "t's li#e %eing a%le to ta#e off you$ tie! (as )uite a little cap of wind we
had, wasn't itB'
',es,' " said, '%ut it's wa$'ing up nicely now!' The the$'o'ete$ had 'ade one of its ni'%le
a$ch leaps, cli'%ing f$o' twenty*five deg$ees the night %efo$e to fifty that 'o$ning! .ette$ than
the $ise in ai$*te'pe$atu$e, the sun was wa$' again on you$ face! "t was that wa$'th that had
coaxed 'e out of the house! 'Sp$ing'll get he$e, " guess! So'e yea$s it gets a little lost, %ut it always
see's to find its way %ac# ho'e!' He sipped his coffee, then set the cup down! 'Haven't seen you at
the Red 3$oss lately!'
'"'' $ecycling,' " said, %ut that was a fi%7 "'d co'e eligi%le to give anothe$ pint two wee#s ago!
The $e'inde$ ca$d was up on the $ef$ige$ato$! "t had &ust slipped 'y 'ind! 'Next wee#, fo$ su$e!'
'" only 'ention it %ecause " #now you'$e an A, and we can always use that!'
'Save 'e a couch!'
'3ount on it! Eve$ything going all $ightB " only as# %ecause you loo# ti$ed! "f it's inso'nia, " can
sy'pathi=e, %elieve 'e!'
He did have the loo# of an inso'niac, " thought + too wide a$ound the eyes, so'ehow! .ut he
was also a 'an in his 'id* to late seventies, and " don't thin# anyone gets that fa$ without showing
it! Stic# a$ound a little while, and life 'ay%e only &a%s at you$ chee#s and eyes! Stic# a$ound a long
while and you end up loo#ing li#e 6a#e 8a otta afte$ a ha$d fifteen! " opened 'y 'outh to say
what " always do when so'eone as#s 'e if "'' all $ight, then wonde$ed why " always felt " had to
pull that ti$eso'e a$l%o$o an shit, &ust who " was t$ying to fool! (hat did " thin# would happen
if " told the guy who gave 'e a chocolate*chip coo#ie down at the Red 3$oss afte$ the nu$se too#
the needle out of 'y a$' that " wasn't feeling a hund$ed pe$centB Ea$th)ua#esB 9i$e and floodB
Shit! 'No,' " said, '" $eally haven't %een feeling so g$eat, Ralph!'
'9luB "t's %een going a$ound!'
'Nah! The flu 'issed 'e this ti'e, actually! And "'ve %een sleeping all $ight!' (hich was t$ue +
the$e had %een no $ecu$$ence of the Sa$a 8aughs d$ea' in eithe$ the no$'al o$ the high*octane
ve$sion! '" thin# "'ve &ust got the %lues!'
'(ell, you ought to ta#e a vacation,' he said, then sipped his coffee! (hen he loo#ed up at 'e
again, he f$owned and set his cup down! '(hatB "s so'ething w$ongB'
No, " thought of saying! ,ou were )ust the first bird to sing into the silence' Ralph' that's all(
'No, nothing w$ong,' " said, and then, %ecause " so$t of wanted to see how the wo$ds tasted
co'ing out of 'y own 'outh, " $epeated the'! 'A vacation!'
'Ayuh,' he said, s'iling! '0eople do it all the ti'e!'
6eople do it all the time( He was $ight a%out that7 even people who couldn't st$ictly affo$d to went
on vacation! (hen they got ti$ed! (hen they got all %alled up in thei$ own shit! (hen the wo$ld
was too 'uch with the', getting and spending!
" could ce$tainly affo$d a vacation, and " could ce$tainly ta#e the ti'e off f$o' wo$# + what
wo$#, ha*haB + and yet "'d needed the Red 3$oss coo#ie*'an to point out what should have %een
self*evident to a college*educated guy li#e 'eD that " hadn't %een on an actual vacation since 6o and
" had gone to .e$'uda, the winte$ %efo$e she died! y pa$ticula$ g$indstone was no longe$ tu$ning,
%ut " had #ept 'y nose to it all the sa'e!
"t wasn't until that su''e$, when " $ead Ralph Ro%e$ts's o%itua$y in the News -he was st$uc# %y a
ca$/, that " fully $eali=ed how 'uch " owed hi'! That advice was %ette$ than any glass of o$ange
&uice " eve$ got afte$ giving %lood, let 'e tell you!
(hen " left the $estau$ant, " didn't go ho'e %ut t$a'ped ove$ half of the da'ned town, the section
of newspape$ with the pa$tly co'pleted c$osswo$d pu==le in it cla'ped unde$ one a$'! " wal#ed
until " was chilled in spite of the wa$'ing te'pe$atu$es! " didn't thin# a%out anything, and yet "
thought a%out eve$ything! "t was a special #ind of thin#ing, the so$t "'d always done when " was
getting close to w$iting a %oo#, and although " hadn't thought that way in yea$s, " fell into it easily
and natu$ally, as if " had neve$ %een away!
"t's li#e so'e guys with a %ig t$uc# have pulled up in you$ d$iveway and a$e 'oving things into
you$ %ase'ent! " can't explain it any %ette$ than that! ,ou can't see what these things a$e %ecause
they'$e all w$apped up in padded )uilts, %ut you don't need to see the'! "t's fu$nitu$e, eve$ything
you need to 'a#e you$ house a ho'e, 'a#e it &ust $ight, &ust the way you wanted it!
(hen the guys have hopped %ac# into thei$ t$uc# and d$iven away, you go down to the %ase'ent
and wal# a$ound -the way " went wal#ing a$ound 2e$$y that late 'o$ning, slopping up hill and
down dale in 'y old galoshes/, touching a padded cu$ve he$e, a padded angle the$e! "s this one a
sofaB "s that' one a d$esse$B "t doesn't 'atte$! Eve$ything is he$e, the 'ove$s didn't fo$get a thing,
and although you'll have to get it all upstai$s you$self -st$aining you$ poo$ old %ac# in the p$ocess,
'o$e often than not/, that's o#ay! The i'po$tant thing is that the delive$y was co'plete!
This ti'e " thought + hoped + the delive$y t$uc# had %$ought the stuff " needed fo$ the %ac#
fo$tyD the yea$s " 'ight have to spend in a No ($iting Eone! To the cella$ doo$ they had co'e, and
they had #noc#ed politely, and when afte$ seve$al 'onths the$e was still no answe$, they had finally
fetched a %atte$ing $a'! .4, B;DD,' .264 ".4 N21S4 D1DN'" SAR4 ,2; "22 BAD' S2RR, AB2;" ".4
D22R5
" didn't ca$e a%out the doo$7 " ca$ed a%out the fu$nitu$e! Any pieces %$o#en o$ 'issingB " didn't
thin# so! " thought all " had to do was get it upstai$s, pull off the fu$nitu$e pads, and put it whe$e it
%elonged!
On 'y way %ac# ho'e, " passed The Shade, 2e$$y's cha$'ing little $evival 'ovie house, which
has p$ospe$ed in spite of -o$ pe$haps %ecause of/ the video $evolution! This 'onth they we$e
showing classic S9 f$o' the fifties, %ut Ap$il was dedicated to Hu'ph$ey .oga$t, 6o's all*ti'e
favo$ite! " stood unde$ the 'a$)uee fo$ seve$al 'o'ents, studying one of the 3o'ing Att$actions
poste$s! Then " went ho'e, pic#ed a t$avel agent p$etty 'uch at $ando' f$o' the phone %oo#, and
told the guy " wanted to go to 1ey 8a$go! 1ey (est, you 'ean, the guy said! No, " told hi', " 'ean
1ey 8a$go, &ust li#e in the 'ovie with .ogie and .acall! Th$ee wee#s! Then " $ethought that! " was
wealthy, " was on 'y own, and " was $eti$ed! (hat was this 'th$ee wee#s' shitB a#e it six, " said!
9ind 'e a cottage o$ so'ething! 5oing to %e expensive, he said! " told hi' " didn't ca$e! (hen "
ca'e %ac# to 2e$$y, it would %e sp$ing! "n the 'eanti'e, " had so'e fu$nitu$e to unw$ap!
" was enchanted with 1ey 8a$go fo$ the fi$st 'onth and %o$ed out of 'y 'ind fo$ the last two
wee#s! " stayed, though, %ecause %o$edo' is good! 0eople with a high tole$ance fo$ %o$edo' can
get a lot of thin#ing done! " ate a%out a %illion sh$i'p, d$an# a%out a thousand 'a$ga$itas, and $ead
twenty*th$ee 6ohn 2! ac2onald novels %y actual count! " %u$ned, peeled, and finally tanned! "
%ought a long*%illed cap with 0ARROTHEA2 p$inted on it in %$ight g$een th$ead! " wal#ed the sa'e
st$etch of %each until " #new eve$y%ody %y fi$st na'e! And " unw$apped fu$nitu$e! A lot of it "
didn't li#e, %ut the$e was no dou%t that it all fit the house!
" thought a%out 6o and ou$ life togethe$! " thought a%out saying to he$ that no one was eve$ going
to confuse Being "wo with %ook .omeward' Angel! ',ou aren't going to pull a lot of frustrated*
artist crap on me' are you' Noonan?' she had $eplied ! ! ! and du$ing 'y ti'e on 1ey 8a$go, those
wo$ds #ept co'ing %ac#, always in 6o's voiceD c$ap, f$ust$ated*a$tist c$ap, all that fuc#ing
school%oy f$ust$ated*a$tist c$ap!
" thought a%out he$ long $ed woods ap$on, co'ing to 'e with a hatful of %lac# t$u'pet
'ush$oo's, laughing and t$iu'phantD 'Nobody on the "R eats better than the Noonans tonight5'
she'd c$ied! " thought of he$ painting he$ toenails, %ent ove$ %etween he$ own thighs in the way only
wo'en doing that pa$ticula$ piece of %usiness can 'anage! " thought of he$ th$owing a %oo# at 'e
%ecause " laughed at so'e new hai$cut! " thought of he$ t$ying to lea$n how to play a %$ea#down on
he$ %an&o and of how she loo#ed %$aless in a thin sweate$! " thought of he$ c$ying and laughing and
ang$y! " thought of he$ telling 'e it was c$ap, all that f$ust$ated*a$tist c$ap!
And " thought a%out the d$ea's, especially the cul'inating d$ea'! " could do that easily, %ecause
it neve$ faded as the 'o$e o$dina$y ones do! The final Sa$a 8aughs d$ea' and 'y ve$y fi$st wet
d$ea' -co'ing upon a gi$l lying na#ed in a ha''oc# and eating a plu'/ a$e the only two that
$e'ain pe$fectly clea$ to 'e, yea$ afte$ yea$7 the $est a$e eithe$ ha=y f$ag'ents o$ co'pletely
fo$gotten!
The$e we$e a g$eat 'any clea$ details to the Sa$a d$ea's + the loons, the c$ic#ets, the evening
sta$ and 'y wish upon it, &ust to na'e a few + %ut " thought 'ost of those things we$e &ust
ve$isi'ilitude! Scene*setting, if you will! As such, they could %e dis'issed f$o' 'y conside$ations!
That left th$ee 'a&o$ ele'ents, th$ee la$ge pieces of fu$nitu$e to %e unw$apped!
As " sat on the %each, watching the sun go down %etween 'y sandy toes, " didn't thin# you had
to %e a sh$in# to see how those th$ee things went togethe$!
"n the Sa$a d$ea's, the 'a&o$ ele'ents we$e the woods %ehind 'e, the house %elow 'e, and
ichael Noonan hi'self, f$o=en in the 'iddle! "t's getting da$# and the$e's dange$ in the woods! "t
will %e f$ightening to go to the house %elow, pe$haps %ecause it's %een e'pty so long, %ut " neve$
dou%t " 'ust go the$e7 sca$y o$ not, it's the only shelte$ " have! Except " can't do it! " can't 'ove! "'ve
got w$ite$'s wal#!
"n the night'a$e " a' finally a%le to go towa$d shelte$, only the shelte$ p$oves false! 0$oves 'o$e
dange$ous than " had eve$ expected in 'y ! ! ! well, yes, in 'y wildest d$ea's! y dead wife $ushes
out, sc$ea'ing and still tangled in he$ sh$oud, to attac# 'e! Even five wee#s late$ and al'ost th$ee
thousand 'iles f$o' 2e$$y, $e'e'%e$ing that speedy white thing with its %aggy a$'s would 'a#e
'e shive$ and loo# %ac# ove$ 'y shoulde$!
.ut was it 6ohannaB " didn't $eally #now, did "B The thing was all w$apped up! The coffin loo#ed
li#e the one in which she had %een %u$ied, t$ue, %ut that 'ight &ust %e 'isdi$ection!
($ite$'s walk, w$ite$'s block!
1 can't write, " told the voice in the d$ea'! The voice says " can! The voice says the w$ite$'s %loc#
is gone, and " %elieve it %ecause the w$ite$'s walk is gone, "'' finally headed down the d$iveway,
going to shelte$! "'' af$aid, though! Even %efo$e the shapeless white thing 'a#es its appea$ance,
"'' te$$ified! " say it's $s! 2anve$s "'' af$aid of, %ut that's &ust 'y d$ea'ing 'ind getting Sa$a
8aughs and ande$ley all 'ixed up! "'' af$aid of +
'"'' af$aid of w$iting,' " hea$d 'yself saying out loud! '"'' af$aid to even t$y!'
This was the night %efo$e " finally flew %ac# to aine, and " was half*past so%e$, going on d$un#!
.y the end of 'y vacation, " was d$in#ing a lot of evenings! '"t's not the %loc# that sca$es 'e, it's
undoing the %loc#! "'' $eally fuc#ed, %oys and gi$ls! "'' fuc#ed %ig*ti'e!'
9uc#ed o$ not, " had an idea "'d finally $eached the hea$t of the 'atte$! " was af$aid of undoing
the %loc#, 'ay%e af$aid of pic#ing up the st$ands of 'y life and going on without 6o! ,et so'e
deep pa$t of 'y 'ind %elieved " 'ust do it7 that's what the 'enacing noises %ehind 'e in the
woods we$e a%out! And %elief counts fo$ a lot! Too 'uch, 'ay%e, especially if you'$e i'aginative!
(hen an i'aginative pe$son gets into 'ental t$ou%le, the line %etween see'ing and %eing has a
way of disappea$ing!
Things in the woods, yes, si$! " had one of the' $ight the$e in 'y hand as " was thin#ing these
things! " lifted 'y d$in#, holding it towa$d the weste$n s#y so that the setting sun see'ed to %e
%u$ning in the glass! " was d$in#ing a lot, and 'ay%e that was o#ay on 1ey 8a$go + hell, people
we$e supposed to d$in# a lot on vacation, it was al'ost the law + %ut "'d %een d$in#ing too 'uch
even %efo$e " left! The #ind of d$in#ing that could get out of hand in no ti'e at all! The #ind that
could get a 'an in t$ou%le!
Things in the woods, and the potentially safe place gua$ded %y a sca$y %ug%ea$ that was not 'y
wife, %ut pe$haps 'y wife's 'e'o$y! "t 'ade sense, %ecause Sa$a 8aughs had always %een 6o's
favo$ite place on ea$th! That thought led to anothe$, one that 'ade 'e swing 'y legs ove$ the side
of the chaise "'d %een $eclining on and sit up in excite'ent! Sa$a 8aughs had also %een the place
whe$e the $itual had %egun ! ! ! cha'pagne, last line, and the all*i'po$tant %enedictionD Well' then'
that's all right' isn't it?
2id " want things to %e all $ight againB 2id " t$uly want thatB A 'onth o$ a yea$ %efo$e " 'ightn't
have %een su$e, %ut now " was! The answe$ was yes! " wanted to 'ove on + let go of 'y dead
wife, $eha% 'y hea$t, 'ove on! .ut to do that, "'d have to go %ac#!
.ac# to the log house! .ac# to Sa$a 8aughs! ',eah,' " said, and 'y %ody %$o#e out in gooseflesh!
',eah, you got it!'
So why notB The )uestion 'ade 'e feel as stupid as Ralph Ro%e$ts's o%se$vation that " needed a
vacation! "f " needed to go %ac# to Sa$a 8aughs now that 'y vacation was ove$, indeed why notB "t
'ight %e a little sca$y the fi$st night o$ two, a hangove$ f$o' 'y final d$ea', %ut &ust %eing the$e
'ight dissolve the d$ea' faste$!
And -this last thought " allowed in only one hu'%le co$ne$ of 'y conscious 'ind/ so'ething
might happen with 'y w$iting! "t wasn't li#ely ! ! ! %ut it wasn't i'possi%le, eithe$! .a$$ing a
'i$acle, hadn't that %een 'y thought on New ,ea$'s 2ay as " sat on the $i' of the tu%, holding a
da'p washcloth to the cut on 'y fo$eheadB ,es! Barring a miracle( So'eti'es %lind people fall
down, #noc# thei$ heads, and $egain thei$ sight! So'eti'es 'ay%e c$ipples are a%le to th$ow thei$
c$utches away when they get to the top of the chu$ch steps!
" had eight o$ nine 'onths %efo$e Ha$old and 2e%$a sta$ted $eally %ugging 'e fo$ the next novel!
" decided to spend the ti'e at Sa$a 8aughs! "t would ta#e 'e a little while to tie things up in 2e$$y,
and awhile fo$ .ill 2ean to get the house on the la#e $eady fo$ a yea$*$ound $esident, %ut " could %e
down the$e %y the 9ou$th of 6uly, easily! " decided that was a good date to shoot fo$, not &ust the
%i$thday of ou$ count$y, %ut p$etty 'uch the end of %ug season in weste$n aine!
.y the day " pac#ed up 'y vacation gea$ -the 6ohn 2! ac2onald pape$%ac#s " left fo$ the
ca%in's next inha%itant/, shaved a wee#'s wo$th of stu%%le off a face so tanned it no longe$ loo#ed
li#e 'y own to 'e, and flew %ac# to aine, " was decidedD "'d go %ac# to the place 'y
su%conscious 'ind had identified as shelte$ against the deepening da$#7 "'d go %ac# even though 'y
'ind had also suggested that doing so would not %e without $is#s! " would not go %ac# expecting
Sa$a to %e 8ou$des ! ! ! %ut " would allow 'yself to hope, and when " saw the evening sta$ peeping
out ove$ the la#e fo$ the fi$st ti'e, " would allow 'yself to wish on it!
Only one thing didn't fit into 'y neat deconst$uction of the Sa$a d$ea's, and %ecause " couldn't
explain it, " t$ied to igno$e it! " didn't have 'uch luc#, though7 pa$t of 'e was still a w$ite$, " guess,
and a w$ite$ is a 'an who has taught his 'ind to 'is%ehave!
"t was the cut on the %ac# of 'y hand! That cut had %een in all the d$ea's, " would swea$ it
had ! ! ! and then it had actually appea$ed! ,ou didn't get that so$t of shit in the wo$#s of 2$! 9$eud7
stuff li#e that was st$ictly fo$ the 0sychic 9$iends hotline!
1t was a coincidence' that's all, " thought as 'y plane sta$ted its descent! " was in seat A*F -the
nice thing a%out flying up f$ont is that if the plane goes down, you'$e fi$st to the c$ash site/ and
loo#ing at pine fo$ests as we slipped along the glidepath towa$d .ango$ "nte$national Ai$po$t! The
snow was gone fo$ anothe$ yea$7 " had vacationed it to death! 2nly coincidence( .ow many times
ha&e you cut your hands? 1 mean' they're always out front' aren't they' wa&ing themsel&es around?
6ractically begging for it(
All that should have $ung t$ue, and yet so'ehow it didn't, )uite! "t should have, %ut ! ! ! well ! ! !
"t was the %oys in the %ase'ent! They we$e the ones who didn't %uy it! The %oys in the %ase'ent
didn't %uy it at all! At that point the$e was a thu'p as the JGJ touched down, and " put the whole
line of thought out of 'y 'ind!
One afte$noon sho$tly afte$ a$$iving %ac# ho'e, " $u''aged the closets until " found the shoe%oxes
containing 6o's old photog$aphs! " so$ted the', then studied 'y way th$ough the ones of 2a$#
Sco$e 8a#e! The$e we$e a stagge$ing nu'%e$ of these, %ut %ecause 6ohanna was the shutte$%ug,
the$e we$en't 'any with he$ in the'! " found one, though, that " $e'e'%e$ed ta#ing in :;;A o$ ';:!
So'eti'es even an untalented photog$aphe$ can ta#e a good pictu$e + + if seven hund$ed
'on#eys spent seven hund$ed yea$s %ashing away at seven hund$ed typew$ite$s, and all that + and
this was good! "n it 6o was standing on the float with the sun going down $ed*gold %ehind he$! She
was &ust out of the wate$, d$ipping wet, wea$ing a two*piece swi''ing suit, g$ay with $ed piping! "
had caught he$ laughing and %$ushing he$ soa#ed hai$ %ac# f$o' he$ fo$ehead and te'ples! He$
nipples we$e ve$y p$o'inent against the cups of he$ halte$! She loo#ed li#e an act$ess on a 'ovie
poste$ fo$ one of those guilty*pleasu$e .*pictu$es a%out 'onste$s at 0a$ty .each o$ a se$ial #ille$
stal#ing the ca'pus!
" was suc#e$*punched %y a sudden powe$ful lust fo$ he$! " wanted he$ upstai$s &ust as she was in
that photog$aph, with st$ands of he$ hai$ pasted to he$ chee#s and that wet %athing suit clinging to
he$! " wanted to suc# he$ nipples th$ough the halte$ top, taste the cloth and feel thei$ ha$dness
th$ough it! " wanted to suc# wate$ out of the cotton li#e 'il#, then yan# the %otto' of he$ suit off
and fuc# he$ until we %oth exploded!
Hands sha#ing a little, " put the photog$aph aside, with so'e othe$s " li#ed -although the$e we$e
no othe$s " li#ed in )uite that sa'e way/! " had a huge ha$d*on, one of those ones that feel li#e stone
cove$ed with s#in! 5et one of those and until it goes away you a$e good fo$ nothing!
The )uic#est way to solve a p$o%le' li#e that when the$e's no wo'an a$ound willing to help you
solve it is to 'astu$%ate, %ut that ti'e the idea neve$ even c$ossed 'y 'ind! "nstead " wal#ed
$estlessly th$ough the upstai$s $oo's of 'y house with 'y fists opening and closing and what
loo#ed li#e a hood o$na'ent stuffed down the f$ont of 'y &eans!
Ange$ 'ay %e a no$'al stage of the g$ieving p$ocess + "'ve $ead that it is + %ut " was neve$
ang$y at 6ohanna in the wa#e of he$ death until the day " found that pictu$e! Then, wow! The$e "
was, wal#ing a$ound with a %one$ that &ust wouldn't )uit, furious with he$! Stupid %itch, why had
she %een $unning on one of the hottest days of the yea$B Stupid, inconside$ate %itch to leave 'e
alone li#e this, not even a%le to wo$#!
" sat down on the stai$s and wonde$ed what " should do! A d$in# was what " should do, " decided,
and then 'ay%e anothe$ d$in# to sc$atch the fi$st one's %ac#! " actually got up %efo$e deciding that
wasn't a ve$y good idea at all!
" went into 'y office instead, tu$ned on the co'pute$, and did a c$osswo$d pu==le! That night
when " went to %ed, " thought of loo#ing at the pictu$e of 6o in he$ %athing suit again! " decided that
was al'ost as %ad an idea as a few d$in#s when " was feeling ang$y and dep$essed! But 1'll ha&e the
dream tonight, " thought as " tu$ned off the light! 1'll ha&e the dream for sure(
" didn't, though! y d$ea's of Sa$a 8aughs see'ed to %e finished!
A wee#'s thought 'ade the idea of at least su''e$ing at the la#e see' %ette$ than eve$! So, on a
Satu$day afte$noon in ea$ly ay when " calculated that any self*$especting aine ca$eta#e$ would
%e ho'e watching the Red Sox, " called .ill 2ean and told hi' "'d %e at 'y la#e place f$o' the
9ou$th of 6uly o$ so ! ! ! and that if things went as " hoped, "'d %e spending the fall and winte$ the$e
as well!
'(ell, that's good,' he said! 'That's $eal good news! A lot of fol#s down he$e've 'issed you, i#e!
Nuite a few that want to condole with you a%out you$ wife, don't you #now!'
(as the$e the faintest note of $ep$oach in his voice, o$ was that &ust 'y i'aginationB 3e$tainly
6o and " had cast a shadow in the a$ea7 we had 'ade significant cont$i%utions to the little li%$a$y
which se$ved the otton*1ashwa#a'a#*3astle 4iew a$ea, and 6o had headed the successful fund
d$ive to get an a$ea %oo#'o%ile up and $unning! "n addition to that, she had %een pa$t of a ladies'
sewing ci$cle -afghans we$e he$ specialty/, and a 'e'%e$ in good standing of the 3astle 3ounty
3$afts 3o*op! 4isits to the sic# ! ! ! helping out with the annual voluntee$ fi$e depa$t'ent %lood
d$ive ! ! ! wo'aning a %ooth du$ing Su''e$fest in 3astle Roc# ! ! ! and stuff li#e that was only
whe$e she had sta$ted! She didn't do it in any ostentatious 8ady .ountiful way, eithe$, %ut
uno%t$usively and hu'%ly, with he$ head lowe$ed -often to hide a $athe$ sha$p s'ile, " should add
+ 'y 6o had a .ie$cean sense of hu'o$/! 3h$ist, " thought, 'ay%e old .ill had a $ight to sound
$ep$oachful!
'0eople 'iss he$,' " said!
'Ayuh, they do!'
'" still 'iss he$ a lot 'yself! " thin# that's why "'ve stayed away f$o' the la#e! That's whe$e a lot
of ou$ good ti'es we$e!'
'" s'pose so! .ut it'll %e da'ned good to see you down this way! "'ll get %usy! The place is all $ight
+ you could 'ove into it this afte$noon, if you was a 'ind + %ut when a house has stood e'pty
the way Sa$a has, it gets stale!'
'" #now!'
'"'ll get .$enda ese$ve to clean the whole she%ang f$o' top to %otto'! Sa'e gal you always
had, don't you #now!'
'.$enda's a little old fo$ co'p$ehensive sp$ing cleaning, isn't sheB'
The lady in )uestion was a%out sixty*five, stout, #ind, and gleefully vulga$! She was especially
fond of &o#es a%out the t$avelling sales'an who spent the night li#e a $a%%it, &u'ping f$o' hole to
hole! No $s! 2anve$s she!
'8adies li#e .$enda ese$ve neve$ get too old to ove$see the festivities,' .ill said! 'She'll get two
o$ th$ee gi$ls to do the vacuu'ing and heavy lifting! Set you %ac# 'ay%e th$ee hund$ed dolla$s!
Sound all $ightB'
'8i#e a %a$gain!'
'The well needs to %e tested, and the gennie, too, although "'' su$e %oth of e''s o#ay! " seen a
ho$net's nest %y 6o's old studio that " want to s'o#e %efo$e the woods get d$y! Oh, and the $oof of
the old house + you #now, the 'iddle piece + needs to %e $eshingled! " shoulda tal#ed to you
a%out that last yea$, %ut with you not using the place, " let he$ slide! ,ou stand good fo$ that, tooB'
',es, up to ten g$and! .eyond that, call 'e!'
'"f we have to go ove$ ten, "'ll s'ile and #iss a pig!'
'T$y to have it all done %efo$e " get down the$e, o#ayB'
'3oss! ,ou'll want you$ p$ivacy, " #now that ! ! ! &ust so long's you #now you won't get any $ight
away! (e was shoc#ed when she went so young7 all of us we$e! Shoc#ed and sad! She was a dea$!'
9$o' a ,an#ee 'outh, that wo$d $hy'es with %eah!
'Than# you, .ill!' " felt tea$s p$ic#le 'y eyes! 5$ief is li#e a d$un#en house guest, always co'ing
%ac# fo$ one 'o$e good%ye hug! 'Than#s fo$ saying!'
',ou'll get you$ sha$e of ca$$ot*ca#es, chu''y!' He laughed, %ut a little dou%tfully, as if af$aid he
was co''itting an i'p$op$iety! '" can eat a lot of ca$$ot*ca#e,' " said, 'and if fol#s ove$do it, well,
hasn't 1enny Auste$ still got that %ig "$ish wolfhoundB'
',uh, that thing'd eat ca#e til he %ustedC' .ill c$ied in high good hu'o$! He cac#led until he was
coughing! " waited, s'iling a little 'yself! '.lue%e$$y, he calls that dog, da'ned if " #now why!
Ain't he the go$'iest thingC' " assu'ed he 'eant the dog and not the dog's 'aste$! 1enny Auste$,
not 'uch 'o$e than five feet tall and neatly 'ade, was the opposite of go$'y, that peculia$ aine
ad&ective that 'eans clu'sy, aw#wa$d, and clay*footed!
" suddenly $eali=ed that " 'issed these people + .ill and .$enda and .uddy 6ellison and 1enny
Auste$ and all the othe$s who lived yea$*$ound at the la#e! " even 'issed .lue%e$$y, the "$ish
wolfhound, who t$otted eve$ywhe$e with his head up &ust as if he had half a %$ain in it and long
st$ands of saliva depending f$o' his &aws!
'"'ve also got to get down the$e and clean up the winte$ %lowdown,' .ill said! He sounded
e'%a$$assed! '"t ain't %ad this yea$ + that last %ig sto$' was all snow ove$ ou$ way, than# 5od +
%ut the$e's still a fai$ a'ount of happy c$appy " ain't got to yet! " shoulda put it %ehind 'e long
%efo$e now! ,ou not using the place ain't an excuse! " %een cashing you$ chec#s!' The$e was
so'ething a'using a%out listening to the g$i==led old fa$t %eating his %$east7 6o would have #ic#ed
he$ feet and giggled, "'' )uite su$e!
'"f eve$ything's $ight and $unning %y 6uly 9ou$th, .ill, "'ll %e happy!'
',ou'll %e happy as a cla' in a 'udflat, then! That's a p$o'ise!' .ill sounded as happy as a cla'
in a 'udflat hi'self, and " was glad! '5oingte$ co'e down and w$ite a %oo# %y the wate$B 8i#e in
the old daysB Not that the last couple ain't %een fine, 'y wife couldn't put that last one down, %ut
+ '
'" don't #now,' " said, which was the t$uth! And then an idea st$uc# 'e! '.ill, would you do 'e a
favo$ %efo$e you clean up the d$iveway and tu$n .$enda ese$ve looseB'
'Happy to if " can,' he said, so " told hi' what " wanted!
9ou$ days late$, " got a little pac#age with this laconic $etu$n add$essD 2EANO5EN 2E8"4OTR*;A
-2AR1 S3ORE/! " opened it and shoo# out twenty photog$aphs which had %een ta#en with one of
those little ca'e$as you use once and then th$ow away!
.ill had filled out the $oll with va$ious views of the house, 'ost conveying that su%tle ai$ of
neglect a place gets when it's not used enough ! ! ! even a place that's ca$etoo# -to use .ill's wo$d/
gets that neglected feel afte$ awhile!
" %a$ely glanced at these! The fi$st fou$ we$e the ones " wanted, and " lined the' up on the
#itchen ta%le, whe$e the st$ong sunlight would fall di$ectly on the'! .ill had ta#en these f$o' the
top of the d$iveway, pointing the disposa%le ca'e$a down at the sp$awl of Sa$a 8aughs! " could see
the 'oss which had g$own not only on south wings, as well! " could see the litte$ of fallen %$anches
and the d$ifts of pine needles on the d$iveway! .ill 'ust have %een te'pted to clea$ all that away
%efo$e ta#ing his snaps, %ut he hadn't! "'d told hi' exactly what " wanted + 'wa$ts and all' was the
ph$ase " had used + and .ill had given it to 'e!
The %ushes on eithe$ side of the d$iveway had thic#ened a lot since 6o and " had spent any
significant a'ount of ti'e at the la#e7 they hadn't exactly $un wild, %ut yes, so'e of the longe$
%$anches did see' to yea$n towa$d each othe$ ac$oss the asphalt li#e sepa$ated love$s!
,et what 'y eye ca'e %ac# to again and again was the stoop at the foot of the d$iveway! The
othe$ $ese'%lances %etween the photog$aphs and 'y d$ea's of Sa$a 8aughs 'ight only %e
coincidental -o$ the w$ite$'s often su$p$isingly p$actical i'agination at wo$#/, %ut " could explain
the sunflowe$s g$owing out th$ough the %oa$ds of the stoop no 'o$e than " had %een a%le to explain
the cut on the %ac# of 'y hand!
" tu$ned one of the photos ove$! On the %ac#, in a spide$y sc$ipt, .ill had w$ittenD "hese fellows
are way early ( ( ( and trespassing5
" flipped %ac# to the pictu$e side! Th$ee sunflowe$s, g$owing up th$ough the %oa$ds of the stoop!
Not two, not fou$, %ut th$ee la$ge sunflowe$s with faces li#e sea$chlights!
6ust li#e the ones in 'y d$ea'!
3HA0TER S">
On 6uly G$d of :;;?, " th$ew two suitcases and 'y 0owe$%oo# in the t$un# of 'y 'id*si=ed
3hev$olet, sta$ted to %ac# down the d$iveway, then stopped and went into the house again! "t felt
e'pty and so'ehow fo$lo$n, li#e a faithful love$ who has %een d$opped and cannot unde$stand
why! The fu$nitu$e wasn't cove$ed and the powe$ was still on -" unde$stood that The 5$eat 8a#e
Expe$i'ent 'ight tu$n out to %e a swift and total failu$e/, %ut :< .enton St$eet felt dese$ted, all the
sa'e! Roo's too full of fu$nitu$e to echo still did when " wal#ed th$ough the', and eve$ywhe$e
the$e see'ed to %e too 'uch dusty light!
"n 'y study, the 42T was hooded li#e an executione$ against the dust! " #nelt %efo$e it and
opened one of the des# d$awe$s! "nside we$e fou$ $ea's of pape$! " too# one, sta$ted away with it
unde$ 'y a$', then had a second thought and tu$ned %ac#! " had put that p$ovocative photo of 6o in
he$ swi'suit in the wide cente$ d$awe$! Now " too# it, to$e the pape$ w$apping f$o' the end of the
$ea' of pape$, and slid the photo halfway in, li#e a %oo#'a$#! "f " did pe$chance %egin to w$ite
again, and if the w$iting 'a$ched, " would 'eet 6ohanna $ight a$ound page two hund$ed and fifty!
" left the house, loc#ed the %ac# doo$, got into 'y ca$, and d$ove away! " have neve$ %een %ac#!
"'d %een te'pted to go down to the la#e and chec# out the wo$# + which tu$ned out to %e )uite a
%it 'o$e extensive than .ill 2ean had o$iginally expected + on seve$al occasions! (hat #ept 'e
away was a feeling, neve$ )uite a$ticulated %y 'y conscious 'ind %ut still ve$y powe$ful, that "
wasn't supposed to do it that way7 that when " next ca'e to Sa$a, it should %e to unpac# and stay!
.ill hi$ed out 1enny Auste$ to shingle the $oof, and got 1enny's cousin, Ti''y 8a$$i%ee, to
'sc$ape the old gi$l down,' a cleansing p$ocess a#in to pot*sc$u%%ing that is so'eti'es e'ployed
with log ho'es! .ill also had a plu'%e$ in to chec# out the pipes, and got 'y o#ay to $eplace so'e
of the olde$ plu'%ing and the well*pu'p!
.ill fussed a%out all these expenses ove$ the telephone7 " let hi'! (hen it co'es to fifth* o$
sixth*gene$ation ,an#ees and the expenditu$e of 'oney, you 'ight as well &ust stand %ac# and let
the' get it out of thei$ syste's! 8aying out the g$een &ust see's w$ong to a ,an#ee, so'ehow, li#e
petting in pu%lic! As fo$ 'yself, " didn't 'ind the outgo a %it! " live f$ugally, fo$ the 'ost pa$t, not
out of any 'o$al code %ut %ecause 'y i'agination, ve$y lively in 'ost othe$ $espects, doesn't wo$#
ve$y well on the su%&ect of 'oney! y idea of a sp$ee is th$ee days in .oston, a Red Sox ga'e, a
t$ip to Towe$ Reco$ds and 4ideo, plus a visit to the (o$dswo$th %oo#sto$e in 3a'%$idge! 8iving
li#e that doesn't 'a#e 'uch of a dent in the inte$est, let alone the p$incipal7 " had a good 'oney
'anage$ down in (ate$ville, and on the day " loc#ed the doo$ of the 2e$$y house and headed west
to TR*;A, " was wo$th slightly ove$ five 'illion dolla$s! Not 'uch co'pa$ed to .ill 5ates, %ut %ig
nu'%e$s fo$ this a$ea, and " could affo$d to %e chee$ful a%out the high cost of house $epai$s!
That was a st$ange late sp$ing and ea$ly su''e$ fo$ 'e! (hat " did 'ostly was wait, close up
'y town affai$s, tal# to .ill 2ean when he called with the latest $ound of p$o%le's, and t$y not to
thin#! " did the 6ublishers Weekly inte$view, and when the inte$viewe$ as#ed 'e if "'d had any
t$ou%le getting %ac# to wo$# 'in the wa#e of 'y %e$eave'ent,' " said no with an a%solutely st$aight
face! (hy notB "t was t$ue! y t$ou%les hadn't sta$ted until "'d finished All the Way from the "op7
until then, " had %een going on li#e gang%uste$s!
"n 'id*6une, " 'et 9$an# A$len fo$ lunch at the Sta$lite 3afe! The Sta$lite is in 8ewiston, which
is the geog$aphical 'idpoint %etween his town and 'ine! Ove$ desse$t -the Sta$lite's fa'ous
st$aw%e$$y sho$tca#e/, 9$an# as#ed if " was seeing anyone! " loo#ed at hi' with su$p$ise!
'(hat a$e you gaping atB' he as#ed, his face $egiste$ing one of the nine hund$ed unna'ed
e'otions + this one of those so'ewhe$e %etween a'use'ent and i$$itation! '" ce$tainly wouldn't
thin# of it as two*ti'ing 6o! She'll have %een dead fou$ yea$s co'e August!'
'No,' " said! '"'' not seeing any%ody!'
He loo#ed at 'e silently! " loo#ed %ac# fo$ a few seconds, then sta$ted fiddling 'y spoon
th$ough the whipped c$ea' on top of 'y sho$tca#e! The %iscuits we$e still wa$' f$o' the oven,
and the c$ea' was 'elting! "t 'ade 'e thin# of that silly old song a%out how so'eone left the ca#e
out in the $ain!
'.a&e you seen any%ody, i#eB'
'"'' not su$e that's any %usiness of you$s!'
'Oh fo$ 3h$ist's sa#e! On you$ vacationB 2id you + '
" 'ade 'yself loo# up f$o' the 'elting whipped c$ea'! 'No,' " said! '" did not!'
He was silent fo$ anothe$ 'o'ent o$ two! " thought he was getting $eady to 'ove on to anothe$
topic! That would have %een fine with 'e! "nstead, he ca'e $ight out and as#ed 'e if " had %een
laid at all since 6ohanna died! He would have accepted a lie on that su%&ect even if he didn't enti$ely
%elieve it + 'en lie a%out sex all the ti'e! .ut " told the t$uth ! ! ! and with a ce$tain pe$ve$se
pleasu$e!
'No!'
'Not a single ti'eB'
'Not a single ti'e!'
'(hat a%out a 'assage pa$lo$B ,ou #now, to at least get a + '
'No!'
He sat the$e tapping his spoon against the $i' of the %owl with his desse$t in it! He hadn't ta#en a
single %ite! He was loo#ing at 'e as though " we$e so'e new and oogy speci'en of %ug! " didn't
li#e it 'uch, %ut " suppose " unde$stood it!
" had %een close to what is these days called 'a $elationship' on two occasions, neithe$ of the' on
1ey 8a$go, whe$e " had o%se$ved $oughly two thousand p$etty wo'en wal#ing a$ound d$essed in
only a stitch and a p$o'ise! Once it had %een a $ed*hai$ed wait$ess, 1elli, at a $estau$ant out on the
Extension whe$e " often had lunch! Afte$ awhile we got tal#ing, &o#ing a$ound, and then the$e
sta$ted to %e so'e of that eye*contact, you #now the #ind "'' tal#ing a%out, loo#s that go on &ust a
little too long! " sta$ted to notice he$ legs, and the way he$ unifo$' pulled against he$ hip when she
tu$ned, and she noticed 'e noticing!
And the$e was a wo'an at Nu ,ou, the place whe$e " used to wo$# out! A tall wo'an who
favo$ed pin# &og*%$as and %lac# %i#e sho$ts! Nuite yu''y! Also, " li#ed the stuff she %$ought to
$ead while she pedalled one of the stationa$y %i#es on those endless ae$o%ic t$ips to nowhe$e + not
#ademoiselle o$ osmo, %ut novels %y people li#e 6ohn "$ving and Ellen 5ilch$ist! " li#e people
who $ead actual %oo#s, and not &ust %ecause " once w$ote the' 'yself! .oo#*$eade$s a$e &ust as
willing as anyone else to sta$t out with the weathe$, %ut as a gene$al $ule they can actually go on
f$o' the$e!
The na'e of the %londe in the pin# tops and %lac# sho$ts was Ad$ia .undy! (e sta$ted tal#ing
a%out %oo#s as we pedalled side %y side eve$ deepe$ into nowhe$e, and the$e ca'e a point whe$e "
was spotting he$ one o$ two 'o$nings a wee# in the weight $oo'! The$e's so'ething oddly inti'ate
a%out spotting! The p$one position of the lifte$ is pa$t of it, " suppose -especially when the lifte$ is a
wo'an/, %ut not all o$ even 'ost of it! ostly it's the dependence facto$! Although it ha$dly eve$
co'es to that point, the lifte$ is t$usting the spotte$ with his o$ he$ life! And, at so'e point in the
winte$ of :;;L, those loo#s sta$ted as she lay on the %ench and " stood ove$ he$, loo#ing into he$
upside*down face! The ones that go on &ust a little too long!
1elli was a$ound thi$ty, Ad$ia pe$haps a little younge$! 1elli was divo$ced, Ad$ia neve$ 'a$$ied!
"n neithe$ case would " have %een $o%%ing the c$adle, and " thin# eithe$ would have %een happy to
go to %ed with 'e on a p$ovisional %asis! 1ind of a honey*%u'p test*d$ive! ,et what " did in 1elli's
case was to find a diffe$ent $estau$ant to eat 'y lunch at, and when the ,3A sent 'e a f$ee
exe$cise*t$yout offe$, " too# the' up on it and &ust neve$ went %ac# to Nu ,ou! " $e'e'%e$ wal#ing
past Ad$ia .undy one day on the st$eet six 'onths o$ so afte$ " 'ade the change, and although "
said hi, " 'ade su$e not to see he$ pu==led, slightly hu$t ga=e!
"n a pu$ely physical way " wanted the' %oth -in fact, " see' to $e'e'%e$ a d$ea' in which "
had the' %oth, in the sa'e %ed and at the sa'e ti'e/, and yet " wanted neithe$! 0a$t of it was 'y
ina%ility to w$ite + 'y life was )uite fuc#ed up enough, than# you, without adding any additional
co'plications! 0a$t of it was the wo$# involved in 'a#ing su$e that the wo'an who is $etu$ning
you$ glances is inte$ested in you and not you$ $athe$ ext$avagant %an# account!
ost of it, " thin#, was that the$e was &ust too 'uch 6o still in 'y head and hea$t! The$e was no
$oo' fo$ anyone else, even afte$ fou$ yea$s! "t was so$$ow li#e choleste$ol, and if you thin# that's
funny o$ wei$d, %e g$ateful!
'(hat a%out f$iendsB' 9$an# as#ed, at last %eginning to eat his st$aw%e$$y sho$tca#e! ',ou've got
f$iends you see, don't youB'
',es,' " said! '0lenty of f$iends!' (hich was a lie, %ut " did have lots of c$osswo$ds to do, lots of
%oo#s to $ead, and lots of 'ovies to watch on 'y 43R at night7 " could p$actically $ecite the 9."
wa$ning a%out unlawful copying %y hea$t! (hen it ca'e to $eal live people, the only ones " called
when " got $eady to leave 2e$$y we$e 'y docto$ and 'y dentist, and 'ost of the 'ail " sent out that
6une consisted of change*of add$ess ca$ds to 'aga=ines li#e .arper's and National -eographic!
'9$an#,' " said, 'you sound li#e a 6ewish 'othe$!'
'So'eti'es when "'' with you feel li#e a 6ewish 'othe$,' he said! 'One who %elieves in the
cu$ative powe$s of %a#ed potatoes instead of 'at=o %alls! ,ou loo# %ette$ than you have in a long
ti'e, finally put on so'e weight, " thin# + '
'Too 'uch!'
'.ullshit, you loo#ed li#e "cha%od 3$ane when you ca'e fo$ 3h$ist'as! Also, you've got so'e
sun on you$ face and a$'s!'
'"'ve %een wal#ing a lot!'
'So you loo# %ette$ ! ! ! except fo$ you$ eyes! So'eti'es you get this loo# in you$ eyes, and "
wo$$y a%out you eve$y ti'e " see it! " thin# 6o would %e glad someone's wo$$ying!'
'(hat loo# is thatB' " as#ed!
',ou$ %asic thousand*ya$d sta$e! (ant the t$uthB ,ou loo# li#e so'eone who's caught on
so'ething and can't get loose!'
" left 2e$$y at th$ee*thi$ty, stopped in Ru'fo$d fo$ suppe$, then d$ove slowly on th$ough the $ising
hills of weste$n aine as the sun lowe$ed! " had planned 'y ti'es of depa$tu$e and a$$ival
ca$efully, if not )uite consciously, and as " passed out of otton and into the uninco$po$ated
township of TR*;A, " %eca'e awa$e of the heavy way 'y hea$t was %eating! The$e was sweat on
'y face and a$'s in spite of the ca$'s ai$ conditioning! Nothing on the $adio sounded $ight, all the
'usic li#e sc$ea'ing, and " tu$ned it off!
" was sca$ed, and had good $eason to %e! Even setting aside the peculia$ c$oss*pollination
%etween the d$ea's and things in the $eal wo$ld -as " was a%le to do )uite easily, dis'issing the cut
on 'y hand and the sunflowe$s g$owing th$ough the %oa$ds of the %ac# stoop as eithe$ coincidence
o$ so 'uch psychic fluff/, " had $eason to %e sca$ed! .ecause they hadn't %een o$dina$y d$ea's, and
'y decision to go %ac# to the la#e afte$ all this ti'e hadn't %een an o$dina$y decision! " didn't feel
li#e a 'ode$n fin*de*mill:naire 'an on a spi$itual )uest to face his fea$s -"'' o#ay, you'$e o#ay,
let's all have an e'otional ci$cle*&e$# while (illia' Ac#e$'an plays softly in the %ac#g$ound/7 "
felt 'o$e li#e so'e c$a=y Old Testa'ent p$ophet going out into the dese$t to live on locusts and
al#ali wate$ %ecause 5od had su''oned hi' in a d$ea'!
" was in t$ou%le, 'y life was a 'ode$ate*going*on*seve$e 'ess, and not %eing a%le to w$ite was
only pa$t of it! " wasn't $aping #ids o$ $unning a$ound Ti'es S)ua$e p$eaching conspi$acy theo$ies
th$ough a %ullho$n, %ut " was in t$ou%le &ust the sa'e! " had lost 'y place in things and couldn't
find it again! No su$p$ise the$e7 afte$ all, life's not a %oo#! (hat " was engaging in on that hot 6uly
evening was self*induced shoc# the$apy, and give 'e at least this 'uch c$edit + " #new it!
,ou co'e to 2a$# Sco$e this wayD :*;@ f$o' 2e$$y to Newpo$t7 Route F f$o' Newpo$t to .ethel
-with a stop in Ru'fo$d, which used to stin# li#e hell's f$ont po$ch until the pape$*d$iven econo'y
p$etty 'uch g$ound to a halt du$ing Reagan's second te$'/7 Route @ f$o' .ethel to (ate$fo$d!
Then you ta#e Route L?, the old 3ounty Road, ac$oss 3astle 4iew, th$ough otton -whe$e
downtown consists of a conve$ted %a$n which sells videos, %ee$, and second*hand $ifles/, and then
past the sign which $eads TR*;A and the one $eading 5AE (AR2EN "S .EST ASS"STAN3E "N
EER5EN3,, 2"A8 :*?AA*@@@*5AE OR P JF ON 3E88U8AR 0HONE! To this, in sp$ay paint, so'eone
has added 9U31 THE EA58ES!
9ive 'iles past that sign, you co'e to a na$$ow lane on the $ight, 'a$#ed only %y a s)ua$e of tin
with the faded nu'%e$ <F on it! A%ove this, li#e u'lauts, a$e a couple of! FF holes!
" tu$ned into this lane &ust a%out when " had expected to + it was JD:L 0!!, E2T, %y the cloc#
on the 3hev$olet's dash%oa$d!
And the feeling was co'ing ho'e!
" d$ove in two tenths of a 'ile %y the odo'ete$, listening to the g$ass which c$owned the lane
whic#e$ing against the unde$ca$$iage of 'y ca$, listening to the occasional %$anch which sc$aped
ac$oss the $oof o$ #noc#ed on the passenge$ side li#e a fist!
At last " pa$#ed and tu$ned the engine off! " got out, wal#ed to the $ea$ of the ca$, lay down on
'y %elly, and %egan pulling all of the g$ass which touched the 3hevy's hot exhaust syste'! "t had
%een a d$y su''e$, and it was %est to ta#e p$ecautions! " had co'e at this exact hou$ in o$de$ to
$eplicate 'y d$ea's, hoping fo$ so'e fu$the$ insight into the' o$ fo$ an idea of what to do next!
(hat " had not co'e to do was sta$t a fo$est fi$e!
Once this was done " stood up and loo#ed a$ound! The c$ic#ets sang, as they had in 'y d$ea's,
and the t$ees huddled close on eithe$ side of the lane, as they always did in 'y d$ea's! Ove$head,
the s#y was a fading st$ip of %lue!
" set off, wal#ing up the $ight hand wheel$ut! 6o and " had had one neigh%o$ at this end of the
$oad, old 8a$s (ash%u$n, %ut now 8a$s's d$iveway was ove$g$own with &unipe$ %ushes and %loc#ed
%y a $usty length of chain! Nailed to a t$ee on the left of the chain was NO TRES0ASS"N5! Nailed to
one on the $ight was NE>T 3ENTUR, REA8 ESTATE, and a local nu'%e$! The wo$ds we$e faded and
ha$d to $ead in the g$owing gloo'!
" wal#ed on, once 'o$e conscious of 'y heavily %eating hea$t and of the way the 'os)uitoes
we$e %u==ing a$ound 'y face and a$'s! Thei$ pea# season was past, %ut " was sweating a lot, and
that's a s'ell they li#e! "t 'ust $e'ind the' of %lood!
6ust how sca$ed was " as " app$oached Sa$a 8aughsB " don't $e'e'%e$! " suspect that f$ight, li#e
pain, is one of those things that slip ou$ 'inds once they have passed! (hat " do $e'e'%e$ is a
feeling "'d had %efo$e when " was down he$e, especially when " was wal#ing this $oad %y 'yself! "t
was a sense that $eality was thin! " thin# it is thin, you #now, thin as la#e ice afte$ a thaw, and we
fill ou$ lives with noise and light and 'otion to hide that thinness f$o' ou$selves! .ut in places li#e
8ane 9o$ty*two, you find that all the s'o#e and 'i$$o$s have %een $e'oved! (hat's left is the
sound of c$ic#ets and the sight of g$een leaves da$#ening towa$d %lac#7 %$anches that 'a#e shapes
li#e faces7 the sound of you$ hea$t in you$ chest, the %eat of the %lood against the %ac#s of you$
eyes, and the loo# of the s#y as the day's %lue %lood $uns out of its chee#!
(hat co'es in when daylight leaves is a #ind of ce$taintyD that %eneath the s#in the$e is a sec$et,
so'e 'yste$y %oth %lac# and %$ight! ,ou feel this 'yste$y in eve$y %$eath, you see it in eve$y
shadow, you expect to plunge into it at eve$y tu$n of a step! "t is he$e7 you slip ac$oss it on a #ind of
%$eathless cu$ve li#e a s#ate$ tu$ning fo$ ho'e!
" stopped fo$ a 'o'ent a%out half a 'ile south of whe$e "'d left the ca$, and still half a 'ile no$th
of the d$iveway! He$e the $oad cu$ves sha$ply, and on the $ight is an open field which slants steeply
down towa$d the la#e! Tidwell's eadow is what the locals call it, o$ so'eti'es the Old 3a'p! "t
was he$e that Sa$a Tidwell and he$ cu$ious t$i%e %uilt thei$ ca%ins, at least acco$ding to a$ie
Hinge$'an -and once, when " as#ed .ill 2ean, he ag$eed this was the place ! ! ! although he didn't
see' inte$ested in continuing the conve$sation, which st$uc# 'e at the ti'e as a %it odd/!
" stood the$e fo$ a 'o'ent, loo#ing down at the no$th end of 2a$# Sco$e! The wate$ was glassy
and cal', still candy*colo$ed in the afte$glow of sunset, without a single $ipple o$ a single s'all
c$aft to %e seen! The %oat*people would all %e down at the 'a$ina o$ at (a$$ington's Sunset .a$ %y
now, " guessed, eating lo%ste$ $olls and d$in#ing %ig 'ixed d$in#s! 8ate$ a few of the', %u==ed on
speed and 'a$tinis, would go %olting up and down the la#e %y 'oonlight! " wonde$ed if " would %e
a$ound to hea$ the'! " thought the$e was a fai$ chance that %y then "'d %e on 'y way %ac# to 2e$$y,
eithe$ te$$ified %y what "'d found o$ disillusioned %ecause " had found nothing at all!
',ou funny little 'an, said St$ic#land!'
" didn't #now " was going to spea# until the wo$ds we$e out of 'y 'outh, and why those wo$ds
in pa$ticula$ " had no idea! " $e'e'%e$ed 'y d$ea' of 6o unde$ the %ed and shudde$ed! A 'os)uito
whined in 'y ea$! " slapped it and wal#ed on!
"n the end, 'y a$$ival at the head of the d$iveway was al'ost too pe$fectly ti'ed, the sense of
having $e*ente$ed 'y d$ea' al'ost too co'plete! Even the %alloons tied to the SARA 8AU5HS sign
-one white and one %lue, %oth with (E83OE .A31 "1EC ca$efully p$inted on the' in %lac# in#/
and floating against the eve$*da$#ening %ac#d$op of the t$ees see'ed to intensify the d:)< &u " had
)uite deli%e$ately induced, fo$ no two d$ea's a$e exactly the sa'e, a$e theyB Things conceived %y
'inds and 'ade %y hands can neve$ %e )uite the sa'e, even when they t$y thei$ %est to %e identical,
%ecause we'$e neve$ the sa'e f$o' day to day o$ even 'o'ent to 'o'ent!
" wal#ed to the sign, feeling the 'yste$y of this place at twilight! " s)uee=ed down on the %oa$d,
feeling its $ough $eality, and then " $an the %all of 'y thu'% ove$ the lette$s, da$ing the splinte$s
and $eading with 'y s#in li#e a %lind 'an $eading %$ailleD S and A and R and A7 % and A and ; and
- and . and S!
The d$iveway had %een clea$ed of fallen needles and %lown*down %$anches, %ut 2a$# Sco$e
gli''e$ed a fading $ose &ust as it had in 'y d$ea's, and the sp$awled hul# of the house was the
sa'e! .ill had thoughtfully left the light ove$ the %ac# stoop %u$ning, and the sunflowe$s g$owing
th$ough the %oa$ds had long since %een cut down, %ut eve$ything else was the sa'e!
" loo#ed ove$head, at the slot of s#y ove$ the lane! Nothing ! ! ! " waited ! ! ! and nothing ! ! !
waiting still ! ! ! and then the$e it was, $ight whe$e the cente$ of 'y ga=e had %een t$ained! At one
'o'ent the$e was only the fading s#y -with indigo &ust sta$ting to $ise up f$o' the edges li#e an
infusion of in#/, and at the next 4enus was glowing the$e, %$ight and steady! 0eople tal# a%out
watching the sta$s co'e out, and " suppose so'e people do, %ut " thin# that was the only ti'e in 'y
life that " actually saw one appea$! " wished on it, too, %ut this ti'e it was $eal ti'e, and " did not
wish fo$ 6o!
'Help 'e,' " said, loo#ing at the sta$! " would have said 'o$e, %ut " didn't #now what to say! "
didn't #now what #ind of help " needed!
"hat's enough, a voice in 'y 'ind said uneasily! "hat's enough' now( -o on back and get your car(
Except that wasn't the plan! The plan was to go down the d$iveway, &ust as " had in the final
d$ea', the night'a$e! The plan was to p$ove to 'yself that the$e was no sh$oud*w$apped 'onste$
lu$#ing in the shadows of the %ig old log house down the$e! The plan was p$etty 'uch %ased on that
%it of New Age wisdo' which says the wo$d 'fea$' stands fo$ 9ace Eve$ything And Recove$! .ut,
as " stood the$e and loo#ed down at that spa$# of po$ch light -it loo#ed ve$y s'all in the g$owing
da$#ness/, it occu$$ed to 'e that the$e's anothe$ %it of wisdo', one not )uite so good*'o$ning*
sta$shine, which suggests fea$ is actually an ac$ony' fo$ 9uc# Eve$ything And Run! Standing the$e
%y 'yself in the woods as the light left the s#y, that see'ed li#e the s'a$te$ inte$p$etation, no two
ways a%out it!
" loo#ed down and was a little a'used to see that " had ta#en one of the %alloons + untied it
without even noticing as " thought things ove$! "t floated se$enely up f$o' 'y hand at the end of its
st$ing, the wo$ds p$inted on it now i'possi%le to $ead in the g$owing da$#!
#aybe it's all moot' anyway= maybe 1 won't be able to mo&e( #aybe that old de&il writer's walk
has got hold of me again' and 1'll )ust stand here like a statue until someone comes along and hauls
me away(
.ut this was $eal ti'e in the $eal wo$ld, and in the $eal wo$ld the$e was no such thing as w$ite$'s
wal#! " opened 'y hand! As the st$ing "'d %een holding floated f$ee, " wal#ed unde$ the $ising
%alloon and sta$ted down the d$iveway! 9oot followed foot, p$etty 'uch as they had eve$ since "'d
fi$st lea$ned this t$ic# %ac# in :;@;! " went deepe$ and deepe$ into the clean %ut sou$ s'ell of pine,
and once " caught 'yself ta#ing an ext$a*%ig step, avoiding a fallen %$anch that had %een in the
d$ea' %ut wasn't he$e in $eality!
y hea$t was still thudding ha$d, and sweat was still pou$ing out of 'e, oiling 'y s#in and
d$awing 'os)uitoes! " $aised a hand to %$ush the hai$ off 'y %$ow, then stopped, holding it splay*
finge$ed out in f$ont of 'y eyes! " put the othe$ one next to it! Neithe$ was 'a$#ed7 the$e wasn't
even a shadow of sca$ f$o' the cut "'d given 'yself while c$awling a$ound 'y %ed$oo' du$ing the
ice sto$'!
'"'' all $ight,' " said! '"'' all $ight!'
,ou funny little man' said Strickland, a voice answe$ed! "t wasn't 'ine, wasn't 6o's7 it was the
U9O voice that had na$$ated 'y night'a$e, the one which had d$iven 'e on even when " wanted to
stop! The voice of so'e outside$!
" sta$ted wal#ing again! " was %ette$ than halfway down the d$iveway now! " had $eached the
point whe$e, in the d$ea', " told the voice that " was af$aid of $s! 2anve$s!
'"'' af$aid of $s! 2!,' " said, t$ying the wo$ds aloud in the g$owing da$#! '(hat if the %ad old
house#eepe$'s down the$eB'
A loon c$ied on the la#e, %ut the voice didn't answe$! " suppose it didn't have to! The$e was no
$s! 2anve$s, she was only a %ag of %ones in an old %oo#, and the voice #new it!
" %egan wal#ing again! " passed the %ig pine that 6o had once %anged into in ou$ 6eep, t$ying to
%ac# up the d$iveway! How she had swo$nC 8i#e a sailo$C " had 'anaged to #eep a st$aight face
until she got to '9uc# a duc#,' and then "'d lost it, leaning against the side of the 6eep with the heels
of 'y hands p$essed against 'y te'ples, howling until tea$s $olled down 'y chee#s, and 6o gla$ing
hot %lue spa$#s at 'e the whole ti'e!
" could see the 'a$# a%out th$ee feet up on the t$un# of the t$ee, the white see'ing to float a%ove
the da$# %a$# in the gloo'! "t was &ust he$e that the unease which pe$vaded the othe$ d$ea's had
s#ewed into so'ething fa$ wo$se! Even %efo$e the sh$ouded thing had co'e %u$sting out of the
house, " had felt so'ething was all w$ong, all twisted up7 " had felt that so'ehow the house itself
had gone insane! "t was at this point, passing the old sca$$ed pine, that " had wanted to $un li#e the
ginge$%$ead 'an!
" didn't feel that now! " was af$aid, yes, %ut not in te$$o$! The$e was nothing %ehind 'e, fo$ one
thing, no sound of slo%%e$ing %$eath! The wo$st thing a 'an was li#ely to co'e upon in these
woods was an i$$itated 'oose! O$, " supposed, if he was $eally unluc#y, a pissed*off %ea$!
"n the d$ea' the$e had %een a 'oon at least th$ee )ua$te$s full, %ut the$e was no 'oon in the s#y
a%ove 'e that night! No$ would the$e %e7 in glancing ove$ the weathe$ page in that 'o$ning's Derry
News, " had noticed that the 'oon was new!
Even the 'ost powe$ful d:)< &u is f$agile, and at the thought of that 'oonless s#y, 'ine %$o#e!
The sensation of $eliving 'y night'a$e depa$ted so a%$uptly that " even wonde$ed why " had done
this, what " had hoped to p$ove o$ acco'plish! Now "'d have to go all the way %ac# down the da$#
lane to $et$ieve 'y ca$!
All $ight, %ut "'d do it with a flashlight f$o' the house! One of the' would su$ely still %e &ust
inside the +
A se$ies of &agged explosions $an the'selves off on the fa$ side of the la#e, the last loud enough
to echo against the hills! " stopped, d$awing in a )uic# %$eath! o'ents %efo$e, those unexpected
%angs p$o%a%ly would have sent 'e $unning %ac# up the d$iveway in a panic, %ut now " had only
that %$ief, sta$tled 'o'ent! "t was fi$ec$ac#e$s, of cou$se, the last one + the loudest one + 'ay%e
an *?A! To'o$$ow was the 9ou$th of 6uly, and ac$oss the la#e #ids we$e cele%$ating ea$ly, as #ids
a$e wont to do!
" wal#ed on! The %ushes still $eached li#e hands, %ut they had %een p$uned %ac# and thei$ $each
wasn't ve$y th$eatening! " didn't have to wo$$y a%out the powe$ %eing out, eithe$7 " was now close
enough to the %ac# stoop to see 'oths flutte$ing a$ound the light .ill 2ean had left on fo$ 'e! Even
if the powe$ had %een out -in the weste$n pa$t of the state a lot of the lines a$e still a%ove g$ound,
and it goes out a lot/, the gennie would have #ic#ed in auto'atically!
,et " was awed %y how 'uch of 'y d$ea' was actually he$e, even with the powe$ful sense of
$epetition + of reli&ing + depa$ted! 6o's plante$s we$e whe$e they'd always %een, flan#ing the path
which leads down to Sa$a's little lic# of %each7 " suppose .$enda ese$ve had found the' stac#ed
in the cella$ and had had one of he$ c$ew set the' out again! Nothing was g$owing in the' yet, %ut
" suspected that stuff would %e soon! And even without the 'oon of 'y d$ea', " could see the
%lac# s)ua$e on the wate$, standing a%out fifty ya$ds offsho$e! The swi''ing float!
No o%long shape lying ove$tu$ned in f$ont of the stoop, though7 no coffin! Still, 'y hea$t was
%eating ha$d again, and " thin# if 'o$e fi$ec$ac#e$s had gone off on the 1ashwa#a'a# side of the
la#e &ust then, " 'ight have sc$ea'ed!
,ou funny little man' said Strickland!
-i&e me that' it's my dust*catcher(
(hat if death d$ives us insaneB (hat if we su$vive, %ut it d$ives us insaneB (hat thenB
" had $eached the point whe$e, in 'y night'a$e, the doo$ %anged open and that white shape ca'e
hu$tling out with its w$apped a$'s up$aised! " too# one 'o$e step and then stopped, hea$ing the
ha$sh sound of 'y $espi$ation as " d$ew each %$eath down 'y th$oat and then pushed it %ac# out
ove$ the d$y floo$ of 'y tongue! The$e was no sense of d:)< &u, %ut fo$ a 'o'ent " thought the
shape would appea$ anyway + he$e in the $eal wo$ld, in $eal ti'e! " stood waiting fo$ it with 'y
sweaty hands clenched! " d$ew in anothe$ d$y %$eath, and this ti'e " held it!
The soft lap of wate$ against the sho$e!
A %$ee=e that patted 'y face and $attled the %ushes!
A loon c$ied out on the la#e7 'oths %atte$ed the stoop light!
No sh$oud*'onste$ th$ew open the doo$, and th$ough the %ig windows to the left and $ight of the
doo$, " could see nothing 'oving, white o$ othe$wise! The$e was a note a%ove the #no%, p$o%a%ly
f$o' .ill, and that was it! " let out 'y %$eath in a $ush and wal#ed the $est of the way down the
d$iveway to Sa$a 8aughs!
The note was indeed f$o' .ill 2ean! "t said that .$enda had done so'e shopping fo$ 'e7 the
supe$'a$#et $eceipt was on the #itchen ta%le, and " would find the pant$y well stoc#ed with canned
goods! She'd gone easy with the pe$isha%les, %ut the$e was 'il#, %utte$, half*and*half, and
ha'%u$ge$, that staple of single*guy cuisine!
1 will see you ne$t #on(, .ill had w$itten! 1f 1 had my druthers 1'd be here to say hello in person
but the good wife says it's our turn to do the holiday trotting and so we are going down to >irginia
7hot558 to spend the ?th with her sister( 1f you need anything or run into problems ( ( (
He had &otted his siste$*in*law's phone nu'%e$ in 4i$ginia as well as .utch (iggins's nu'%e$ in
town, which locals &ust call 'the TR,' as in 'e and 'othe$ got ti$ed of .ethel and 'oved ou$ t$aile$
ove$ to the TR!' The$e we$e othe$ nu'%e$s, as well + the plu'%e$, the elect$ician, .$enda
ese$ve, even the T4 guy ove$ in Ha$$ison who had $epositioned the 2SS dish fo$ 'axi'u'
$eception! .ill was ta#ing no chances! " tu$ned the note ove$, i'agining a final 0!S!D Say' #ike' if
nuclear war should break out before me and ,&ette get back from >irginia 3
So'ething 'oved %ehind 'e!
" whi$led on 'y heels, the note d$opping f$o' 'y hand! "t flutte$ed to the %oa$ds of the %ac#
stoop li#e a la$ge$, white$ ve$sion of the 'oths %anging the %ul% ove$head! "n that instant " was su$e
it would %e the sh$oud*thing, an insane $evenant in 'y wife's decaying %ody, -i&e me my dust*
catcher' gi&e it to me' how dare you come down here and disturb my rest' how dam you come to
#anderley again' and now that you're here' how will you e&er get away? 1nto the mystery with you'
you silly little man( 1nto the mystery with you(
Nothing the$e! "t had &ust %een the %$ee=e again, sti$$ing the %ushes a$ound a little ! ! ! except "
had felt no %$ee=e against 'y sweaty s#in, not that ti'e!
'(ell it 'ust have %een, the$e's nothing the$e,' " said!
The sound of you$ voice when you'$e alone can %e eithe$ sca$y o$ $eassu$ing! That ti'e it was the
latte$! " %ent ove$, pic#ed up .ill's note, and stuffed it into 'y %ac# poc#et! Then " $u''aged out
'y #ey$ing! " stood unde$ the stoop light in the %ig, swooping shadows of the light*st$uc# 'oths,
pic#ing th$ough 'y #eys until " found the one " wanted! "t had a funny disused loo#, and as "
$u%%ed 'y thu'% along its se$$ated edge, " wonde$ed again why " hadn't co'e down he$e + except
fo$ a couple of )uic# %$oad daylight e$$ands + in all the 'onths and yea$s since 6o had died!
Su$ely if she had %een alive, she would have insisted +
.ut then a peculia$ $eali=ation ca'e to 'eD it wasn't &ust a 'atte$ of since 0o died! "t was easy to
thin# of it that way + neve$ once du$ing 'y six wee#s on 1ey 8a$go had " thought of it any othe$
way + %ut now, actually standing he$e in the shadows of the dancing 'oths -it was li#e standing
unde$ so'e wei$d o$ganic disco %all/ and listening to the loons out on the la#e, " $e'e'%e$ed that
although 6ohanna had died in August of :;;<, she had died in 2e$$y! "t had %een 'ise$a%ly hot in
the city ! ! ! so why had we %een the$eB (hy hadn't we %een sitting out on ou$ shady dec# on the
la#e side of the house, d$in#ing iced tea in ou$ %athing suits, watching the %oats go %ac# and fo$th
and co''enting on the fo$' of the va$ious wate$*s#ie$sB (hat had she %een doing in that da'ned
Rite Aid pa$#ing lot to %egin with, when du$ing any othe$ August we would have %een 'iles f$o'
the$eB
No$ was that all! (e usually stayed at Sa$a until the end of Septe'%e$ + it was a peaceful,
p$etty ti'e, as wa$' as su''e$! .ut in ';G we'd left with August only a wee# gone! " #new,
%ecause " could $e'e'%e$ 6ohanna going to New ,o$# with 'e late$ that 'onth, so'e #ind of
pu%lishing deal and the usual attendant pu%licity c$ap! "t had %een dog*hot in anhattan, the
hyd$ants sp$aying in the East 4illage and the uptown st$eets si==ling! On one night of that t$ip we'd
seen "he 6hantom of the 2pera! Nea$ the end 6o had leaned ove$ to 'e and whispe$ed, 'Oh fuc#C
The 0hanto' is snivelling againC' " had spent the $est of the show t$ying to #eep f$o' %u$sting into
wild peals of laughte$! 6o could %e evil that way!
(hy had she co'e with 'e that AugustB 6o didn't li#e New ,o$# even in Ap$il o$ Octo%e$,
when it's so$t of p$etty! " didn't #now! " couldn't $e'e'%e$! All " was su$e of was' that she had neve$
%een %ac# to Sa$a 8aughs afte$ ea$ly August of :;;G ! ! ! and %efo$e long " wasn't even su$e of that!
" slipped the #ey into the loc# and tu$ned it! "'d go inside, flip on the #itchen ove$heads, g$a% a
flashlight, and go %ac# fo$ the ca$! "f " didn't, so'e d$un# guy with a cottage at the fa$ south end of
the lane would co'e in too fast, $ea$*end 'y 3hevy, and sue 'e fo$ a %illion dolla$s!
The house had %een ai$ed out and didn't s'ell a %it 'usty7 instead of still, stale ai$, the$e was a
faint and pleasing a$o'a of pine! " $eached fo$ the light inside the doo$, and then, so'ewhe$e in the
%lac#ness of the house, a child %egan to so%! y hand f$o=e whe$e it was and 'y flesh went cold! "
didn't panic, exactly, %ut all $ational thought left 'y 'ind! "t was weeping, a child's weeping, %ut "
hadn't a clue as to whe$e it was co'ing f$o'!
Then it %egan to fade! Not to g$ow softe$ %ut to fade, as if so'eone had pic#ed that #id up and
was ca$$ying it away down so'e long co$$ido$! ! ! not that any such co$$ido$ existed in Sa$a 8aughs!
Even the one $unning th$ough the 'iddle of the house, connecting the cent$al section to the two
wings, isn't $eally long!
9ading ! ! ! faded ! ! ! al'ost gone!
" stood in the da$# with 'y cold s#in c$awling and 'y hand on the lightswitch! 0a$t of 'e
wanted to %oogie, to &ust go flying out of the$e as fast as 'y little legs could ca$$y 'e, $unning li#e
the ginge$%$ead 'an! Anothe$ pa$t, howeve$ + the $ational pa$t + was al$eady $easse$ting itself!
" flic#ed the switch, the pa$t that wanted to $un saying fo$get it, it won't wo$#, it's the d$ea',
stupid, it's you$ d$ea' co'ing t$ue! .ut it did wo$#! The foye$ light ca'e on in a shadow*dispelling
$ush, $evealing 6o's lu'py little potte$y collection to the left and the %oo#case to the $ight, stuff "
hadn't loo#ed at in fou$ yea$s o$ 'o$e, %ut still he$e and still the sa'e! On a 'iddle shelf of the
%oo#case " could see the th$ee ea$ly El'o$e 8eona$d novels + Swag' "he Big Bounce, and #r(
#a)estyk + that " had put aside against a spell of $ainy weathe$7 you have to %e $eady fo$ $ain when
you'$e at ca'p! (ithout a good %oo#, even two days of $ain in the woods can %e enough to d$ive
you %on#e$s!
The$e was a final whispe$ of weeping, then silence! "n it, " could hea$ tic#ing f$o' the #itchen!
The cloc# %y the stove, one of 6o's $a$e lapses into %ad taste, is 9elix the 3at with %ig eyes that shift
f$o' side to side as his pendulu' tail flic#s %ac# and fo$th! " thin# it's %een in eve$y cheap ho$$o$
'ovie eve$ 'ade!
'(ho's he$eB' " called! " too# a step towa$d the #itchen, &ust a di' space floating %eyond the
foye$, then stopped! "n the da$# the house was a cave$n! The sound of the weeping could have co'e
f$o' anywhe$e! "ncluding 'y own i'agination! '"s so'eone he$eB'
No answe$ ! ! ! %ut " didn't thin# the sound had %een in 'y head! "f it had %een, w$ite$'s %loc# was
the least of 'y wo$$ies!
Standing on the %oo#case to the left of the El'o$e 8eona$ds was a long*%a$$elled flashlight, the
#ind that holds eight 2*cells and will te'po$a$ily %lind you if so'eone shines it di$ectly into you$
eyes! " g$asped it, and until it nea$ly slipped th$ough 'y hand " hadn't $eally $eali=ed how heavily "
was sweating, o$ how sca$ed " was! " &uggled it, hea$t %eating ha$d, half*expecting that c$eepy
so%%ing to %egin again, half*expecting the sh$oud*thing to co'e floating out of the %lac# living
$oo' with its shapeless a$'s $aised7 so'e old hac# of a politician %ac# f$o' the g$ave and $eady to
give it anothe$ shot! 4ote the st$aight Resu$$ection tic#et, %$eth$en, and you will %e saved!
" got cont$ol of the light and tu$ned it on! "t shot a %$ight st$aight %ea' into the living $oo',
pic#ing out the 'oosehead ove$ the fieldstone fi$eplace7 it shone in the head's glass eyes li#e two
lights %u$ning unde$ wate$! " saw the old cane*and*%a'%oo chai$s7 the old couch7 the sca$$ed
dining*$oo' ta%le you had to %alance %y shi''ing one leg with a folded playing ca$d o$ a couple
of %ee$ coaste$s7 " saw no ghosts7 " decided this was a se$iously fuc#ed*up ca$nival &ust the sa'e! "n
the wo$ds of the i''o$tal 3ole 0o$te$, let's call the whole thing off! "f " headed east as soon as " got
%ac# to 'y ca$, " could %e in 2e$$y %y 'idnight! Sleeping in 'y own %ed!
" tu$ned out the foye$ light and stood with the flash d$awing its line ac$oss the da$#! " listened to
the tic# of that stupid cat*cloc#, which .ill 'ust have set going, and to the fa'ilia$ chugging cycle
of the $ef$ige$ato$! As " listened to the', " $eali=ed that " had neve$ expected to hea$ eithe$ sound
again! As fo$ the c$ying ! ! !
Had the$e been c$yingB Had the$e $eallyB
,es! 3$ying o$ something! 6ust what now see'ed 'oot! (hat see'ed ge$'ane was that co'ing
he$e had %een a dange$ous idea and a stupid cou$se of action fo$ a 'an who has taught his 'ind to
'is%ehave! As " stood in the foye$ with no light %ut the flash and the glow falling in the windows
f$o' the %ul% ove$ the %ac# stoop, " $eali=ed that the line %etween what " #new was $eal and what "
#new was only 'y i'agination had p$etty 'uch disappea$ed!
" left the house, chec#ed to 'a#e su$e the doo$ was loc#ed, and wal#ed %ac# up the d$iveway,
swinging the flashlight %ea' f$o' side to side li#e a pendulu' + li#e the tail of old 9elix the
1$a=y 1at in the #itchen! "t occu$$ed to 'e, as " st$uc# no$th along the lane, that " would have to
'a#e up so'e so$t of sto$y fo$ .ill 2ean! "t wouldn't do to say, '(ell, .ill, " got down the$e and
hea$d a #id %awling in 'y loc#ed house, and it sca$ed 'e so %ad " tu$ned into the ginge$%$ead 'an
and $an %ac# to 2e$$y! "'ll send you the flashlight " too#7 put it %ac# on the shelf next to the
pape$%ac#s, would youB' That wasn't 'any good %ecause the sto$y would get a$ound and people
would say, 'Not su$p$ised! ($ote too 'any %oo#s, p$o%a%ly! (o$# li#e that has got to soften a
'an's head! Now he's sca$ed of his own shadow! Occupational ha=a$d!'
Even if " neve$ ca'e down he$e again in 'y life, " didn't want to leave people on the TR with
that opinion of 'e, that half*conte'ptuous, see*what*you*get*fo$*thin#ing*too*'uch attitude! "t's
one a lot of fol#s see' to have a%out people who live %y thei$ i'aginations!
"'d tell .ill " got sic#! "n a way it was t$ue! O$ no ! ! ! %ette$ to tell hi' so'eone else got sic# ! ! !
a f$iend ! ! ! so'eone in 2e$$y "'d %een seeing ! ! ! a lady*f$iend, pe$haps! '.ill, this f$iend of 'ine,
this lady*f$iend of 'ine got sic#, you see, and so ! ! ! '
" stopped suddenly, the light shining on the f$ont of 'y ca$! " had wal#ed the 'ile in the da$#
without noticing 'any of the sounds in the woods, and dis'issing even the %igge$ of the' as dee$
settling down fo$ the night! " hadn't tu$ned a$ound to see if the sh$oud*thing -o$ 'ay%e so'e
spect$al c$ying child/ was following 'e! " had gotten involved in 'a#ing up a sto$y and then
e'%ellishing it, doing it in 'y head instead of on pape$ this ti'e %ut going down all the sa'e well*
#nown paths! " had gotten so involved that " had neglected to %e af$aid! y hea$t%eat was %ac# to
no$'al, the sweat was d$ying on 'y s#in, and the 'os)uitoes had stopped whining in 'y ea$s! And
as " stood the$e, a thought occu$$ed to 'e! "t was as if 'y 'ind had %een waiting patiently fo$ 'e
to cal' down enough so it could $e'ind 'e of so'e essential fact!
The pipes! .ill had gotten 'y go*ahead to $eplace 'ost of the old stuff, and the plu'%e$ had
done so! 4e$y $ecently he'd done so!
'Ai$ in the pipes,' " said, $unning the %ea' of the eight*cell flashlight ove$ the g$ille of 'y
3hev$olet! 'That's what " hea$d!'
" waited to see if the deepe$ pa$t of 'y 'ind would call this a stupid, $ationali=ing lie! "t
didn't ! ! ! %ecause, " suppose, it $eali=ed it could %e t$ue! Ai$y pipes can sound li#e people tal#ing,
dogs %a$#ing, o$ child$en c$ying! 0e$haps the plu'%e$ had %led the' and the sound had %een
so'ething else ! ! ! %ut pe$haps he hadn't! The )uestion was whethe$ o$ not " was going to &u'p in
'y ca$, %ac# two tenths of a 'ile to the highway, and then $etu$n to 2e$$y, all on the %asis of a
sound " had hea$d fo$ ten seconds -'ay%e only five/, and while in an excited, st$essful state of
'ind!
" decided the answe$ was no! "t 'ight ta#e only one 'o$e peculia$ thing to tu$n 'e a$ound +
p$o%a%ly gi%%e$ing li#e a cha$acte$ on "ales from the rypt + %ut the sound "'d hea$d in the foye$
wasn't enough! Not when 'a#ing a go of it at Sa$a 8aughs 'ight 'ean so 'uch!
" hea$ voices in 'y head, and have fo$ as long as " can $e'e'%e$! " don't #now if that's pa$t of
the necessa$y e)uip'ent fo$ %eing a w$ite$ o$ not7 "'ve neve$ as#ed anothe$ one! " neve$ felt the
need to, %ecause " #now all the voices " hea$ a$e ve$sions of 'e! Still, they often see' li#e ve$y $eal
ve$sions of othe$ people, and none is 'o$e $eal to 'e*o$ 'o$e fa'ilia$ + than 6o's voice! Now that
voice ca'e, sounding inte$ested, a'used in an i$onic %ut gentle way ! ! ! and app$oving!
-oing to fight' #ike?
',eah,' " said, standing the$e in the da$# and pic#ing out glea's of ch$o'e with 'y flashlight!
'Thin# so, %a%e!'
Well' then 3 that's all right' isn't it?
,es! "t was! " got into 'y ca$, sta$ted it up, and d$ove slowly down the lane! And when " got to
the d$iveway, " tu$ned in!
The$e was no c$ying the second ti'e " ente$ed the house! " wal#ed slowly th$ough the downstai$s,
#eeping the flashlight in 'y hand until " had tu$ned on eve$y light " could find7 if the$e we$e people
still %oating on the no$th end of the la#e, old Sa$a p$o%a%ly loo#ed li#e so'e wei$d Spiel%e$gian
flying sauce$ hove$ing a%ove the'!
" thin# houses live thei$ own lives along a ti'e*st$ea' that's diffe$ent f$o' the ones upon which
thei$ owne$s float, one that's slowe$! "n a house, especially an old one, the past is close$! "n 'y life
6ohanna had %een dead nea$ly fou$ yea$s, %ut to Sa$a, she was 'uch nea$e$ than that! "t wasn't until
" was actually inside, with all the lights on and the flash $etu$ned to its spot on the %oo#shelf, that "
$eali=ed how 'uch " had %een d$eading 'y a$$ival! Of having 'y g$ief $eawa#ened %y signs of
6ohanna's inte$$upted life! A %oo# with a co$ne$ tu$ned down on the ta%le at one end of the sofa,
whe$e 6o had li#ed to $ecline in he$ nightgown, $eading and eating plu's7 the ca$d%oa$d canniste$
of Nua#e$ Oats, which was all she eve$ wanted fo$ %$ea#fast, on a shelf in the pant$y7 he$ old g$een
$o%e hung on the %ac# of the %ath$oo' doo$ in the south wing, which .ill 2ean still called 'the new
wing,' although it had %een %uilt %efo$e we eve$ saw Sa$a 8aughs!
.$enda ese$ve had done a good &o% + a hu'ane &o%*of $e'oving these signs and signals, %ut
she couldn't get the' all! 6o's ha$dcove$ set of Saye$s's 0ete$ (i'sey novels still held p$ide of
place at the cente$ of the living*$oo' %oo#case! 6o had always called the 'oosehead ove$ the
fi$eplace .unte$, and once, fo$ no $eason " could $e'e'%e$ -ce$tainly it see'ed a ve$y un*
.unte$li#e accesso$y/, she had hung a %ell a$ound the 'oose's hai$y nec#! "t hung the$e still, on a
$ed velvet $i%%on! $s! ese$ve 'ight have pu==led ove$ that %ell, wonde$ing whethe$ to leave it
up o$ ta#e it down, not #nowing that when 6o and " 'ade love on the living*$oo' couch -and yes,
we we$e often ove$co'e the$e/, we $efe$$ed to the act as '$inging .unte$'s %ell!' .$enda ese$ve
had done he$ %est, %ut any good 'a$$iage is sec$et te$$ito$y, a necessa$y white space on society's
'ap! (hat othe$s don't #now a%out it is what 'a#es it you$s!
" wal#ed a$ound, touching things, loo#ing at things, seeing the' new! 6o see'ed eve$ywhe$e to
'e, and afte$ a little while " d$opped into one of the old cane chai$s in f$ont of the T4! The cushion
whee=ed unde$ 'e, and " could hea$ 6o saying, '(ell e$cuse you$self, ichaelC'
" put 'y face in 'y hands and c$ied! " suppose it was the last of 'y 'ou$ning, %ut that 'ade it
no easie$ to %ea$! " c$ied until " thought so'ething inside 'e would %$ea# if " didn't stop! (hen it
finally let 'e go, 'y face was d$enched, " had the hiccups, and " thought " had neve$ felt so ti$ed in
'y life! " felt st$ained all ove$ 'y %ody + pa$tly f$o' the wal#ing "'d done, " suppose, %ut 'ostly
&ust f$o' the tension of getting he$e ! ! ! and deciding to stay he$e! To fight! That wei$d phanto'
c$ying "'d hea$d when " fi$st stepped into the place, although it see'ed ve$y distant now, hadn't
helped!
" washed 'y face at the #itchen sin#, $u%%ing away the tea$s with the heels of 'y hands and
clea$ing 'y clogged nose! Then " ca$$ied 'y suitcases down to the guest %ed$oo' in the no$th
wing! " had no intention of sleeping in the south wing, in the 'aste$ %ed$oo' whe$e " had last slept
with 6o!
That was a choice .$enda ese$ve had fo$eseen! The$e was a %ou)uet of f$esh wildflowe$s on
the %u$eau, and a ca$dD (E83OE .A31, R! NOONAN! "f " hadn't %een e'otionally
exhausted, " suppose loo#ing at that 'essage, in $s! ese$ve's spi#y coppe$plate handw$iting,
would have %$ought on anothe$ fit of the weeps! " put 'y face in the flowe$s and %$eathed deeply!
They s'elled good, li#e sunshine! Then " too# off 'y clothes, leaving the' whe$e they d$opped,
and tu$ned %ac# the cove$let on the %ed! 9$esh sheets, f$esh pillowcases7 sa'e old Noonan sliding
%etween the fo$'e$ and d$opping his head onto the latte$!
" lay the$e with the %edside la'p on, loo#ing up at the shadows on the ceiling, al'ost una%le to
%elieve " was in this place and this %ed! The$e had %een no sh$oud*thing to g$eet 'e, of cou$se ! ! !
%ut " had an idea it 'ight well find 'e in 'y d$ea's!
So'eti'es + fo$ 'e, at least + the$e's a t$ansitional %u'p %etween wa#ing and sleeping! Not
that night! " slipped away without #nowing it, and wo#e the next 'o$ning with sunlight shining in
th$ough the window and the %edside la'p still on! The$e had %een no d$ea's that " could
$e'e'%e$, only a vague sensation that " had awa#ened so'eti'e %$iefly in the night and hea$d a
%ell $inging, ve$y thin and fa$ away!
3HA0TER SE4EN
The little gi$l + actually she wasn't 'uch 'o$e than a %a%y*ca'e wal#ing up the 'iddle of Route
L?, d$essed in a $ed %athing suit, yellow plastic flip*flops, and a .oston Red Sox %ase%all cap
tu$ned a$ound %ac#wa$d! " had &ust d$iven past the 8a#eview 5ene$al Sto$e and 2ic#ie .$oo#s's
All*0u$pose 5a$age, and the speed li'it the$e d$ops f$o' fifty*five to thi$ty*five! Than# 5od " was
o%eying it that day, othe$wise " 'ight have #illed he$!
"t was 'y fi$st day %ac#! "'d gotten up late and spent 'ost of the 'o$ning wal#ing in the woods
which $un along the la#esho$e, seeing what was the sa'e and what had changed! The wate$ loo#ed
a little lowe$ and the$e we$e fewe$ %oats than " would have expected, especially on su''e$'s
%iggest holiday, %ut othe$wise " 'ight neve$ have %een away! " even see'ed to %e slapping at the
sa'e %ugs!
A$ound eleven 'y sto'ach ale$ted 'e to the fact that "'d s#ipped %$ea#fast! " decided a t$ip to
the 4illage 3afe was in o$de$! The $estau$ant at (a$$ington's was t$endie$ %y fa$, %ut "'d %e sta$ed
at the$e! The 4illage 3afe would %e %ette$ + if it was still doing %usiness! .uddy 6ellison was an
ill*te'pe$ed fuc#, %ut he had always %een the %est f$y*coo# in weste$n aine and what 'y sto'ach
wanted was a %ig g$easy 4illage%u$ge$!
Now this little gi$l, wal#ing st$aight up the white line and loo#ing li#e a 'a&o$ette leading an
invisi%le pa$ade!
At thi$ty*five 'iles pe$ hou$ " saw he$ in plenty of ti'e, %ut this $oad was %usy in the su''e$,
and ve$y few people %othe$ed c$eeping th$ough the $educed*speed =one! The$e we$e only a do=en
3astle 3ounty police c$uise$s, afte$ all, and not 'any of the' %othe$ed with the TR unless they
we$e specifically called the$e!
" pulled ove$ to the shoulde$, put the 3hevy in 0AR1, and was out %efo$e the dust had even
%egun to settle! The day was 'uggy and close and still, the clouds see'ing low enough to touch!
The #id + a little %londie with a snu% nose and sca%%ed #nees + stood on the white line as if it
we$e a tight$ope and watched 'e app$oach with no 'o$e fea$ than a fawn!
'Hi,' she said! '" go %each! u''y 'on't ta#e 'e and "'' 'ad as hell!' She sta'ped he$ foot to
show she #new as well as any%ody what 'ad as hell was all a%out! Th$ee o$ fou$ was 'y guess!
(ell*spo#en in he$ fashion and cute as hell, %ut still no 'o$e than th$ee o$ fou$! '(ell, the %each is
a good place to go on the 9ou$th, all $ight,' " said, '%ut + '
'9ou$th of 6uly and fi$ewo$#s too,' she ag$eed, 'a#ing 'too' sound exotic and sweet, li#e a wo$d
in 4ietna'ese!
' + %ut if you t$y to wal# the$e on the highway, you'$e 'o$e apt to wind up in 3astle Roc#
Hospital!'
" decided " wasn't going to stand the$e playing iste$ Roge$s with he$ in the 'iddle of Route L?,
not with a cu$ve only fifty ya$ds to the south and a ca$ apt to co'e wheeling a$ound it at sixty 'iles
an hou$ at any ti'e! " could hea$ a 'oto$, actually, and it was $evving ha$d!
" pic#ed the #id up and ca$$ied he$ ove$ to whe$e 'y ca$ was idling, and although she see'ed
pe$fectly content to %e ca$$ied and not f$ightened a %it, " felt li#e 3heste$ the oleste$ the second "
had 'y a$' loc#ed unde$ he$ %otto'! " was ve$y awa$e that anyone sitting a$ound in the co'%ined
office and waiting $oo' of .$oo#sie's 5a$age could loo# out and see 'e! This is one of the st$ange
'idlife $ealities of 'y gene$ationD we can't touch a child who isn't ou$ own without fea$ing othe$s
will see so'ething leche$ous in ou$ touching ! ! ! o$ without thin#ing, way down deep in the sewe$s
of ou$ psyches, that the$e p$o%a%ly is so'ething leche$ous in it! " got he$ out of the $oad, though! "
did that 'uch! 8et the a$ching othe$s of (este$n aine co'e afte$ 'e and do thei$ wo$st!
',ou ta#e 'e %eachB' the little gi$l as#ed!
She was %$ight*eyed, s'iling! " figu$ed that she'd p$o%a%ly %e p$egnant %y the ti'e she was
twelve, especially given the cool way she was wea$ing he$ %ase%all cap! '5ot you$ suitieB'
'Actually " thin# " left 'y suitie at ho'e! 2on't you hate thatB Honey, whe$e's you$ 'o'B'
As if in di$ect answe$ to 'y )uestion, the ca$ "'d hea$d ca'e %usting out of a $oad on the nea$
side of the cu$ve! "t was a 6eep Scout with 'ud splashed high up on %oth sides! The 'oto$ was
g$owling li#e so'ething up a t$ee and pissed off a%out it! A wo'an's head was po#ed out the side
window! 8ittle cu$ie's 'o' 'ust have %een too sca$ed to sit down7 she was d$iving in a 'ad
c$ouch, and if a ca$ had %een co'ing a$ound that pa$ticula$ cu$ve in Route L? when she pulled out,
'y f$iend in the $ed %athing suit would li#ely have %eco'e an o$phan on the spot!
The Scout fishtailed, the head d$opped %ac# down inside the ca%, and the$e was a g$inding as the
d$ive$ upshifted, t$ying to ta#e he$ old heap f$o' =e$o to sixty in 'ay%e nine seconds! "f pu$e te$$o$
could have done the &o%, "'' su$e she would have succeeded!
'That's attie,' the gi$l in the %athing suit said! '"'' 'ad at he$! "'' $unning away to have a
9ou$th at the %each! "f she's 'ad " go to 'y white nana!'
" had no idea what she was tal#ing a%out, %ut it did c$oss 'y 'ind that iss .osox of :;;?
could have he$ 9ou$th at the %each7 " would settle fo$ a fifth of so'ething whole*g$ain at ho'e!
eanwhile, " was waving the a$' not unde$ the #id's %utt %ac# and fo$th ove$ 'y head, and ha$d
enough to %low a$ound wisps of the gi$l's fine %londe hai$!
'HeyC' " shouted! 'Hey, ladyC " got he$C'
The Scout sped %y, still accele$ating and still sounding pissed off a%out it! The exhaust was
%lowing clouds of %lue s'o#e! The$e was a fu$the$ hideous g$inding f$o' the Scout's old
t$ans'ission! "t was li#e so'e c$a=y ve$sion of %et's #ake a Deal!' 'attie, you've succeeded in
getting into second gea$ + would you li#e to )uit and ta#e the aytag washe$, o$ do you want to
t$y fo$ thi$dB'
" did the only thing " could thin# of, which was to step out onto the $oad, tu$n towa$d the 6eep,
which was now speeding away f$o' 'e -the s'ell of the oil was thic# and ac$id/, and hold the #id
up high ove$ 'y head, hoping attie would see us in he$ $ea$view 'i$$o$! " no longe$ felt li#e
3heste$ the oleste$7 now " felt li#e a c$uel auctionee$ in a 2isney ca$toon, offe$ing the cutest li'l
piglet in the litte$ to the highest %idde$! "t wo$#ed, though! The Scout's 'udca#ed taillights ca'e on
and the$e was a de'onic howling as the %adly used %$a#es loc#ed! Right in f$ont of .$oo#sie's, this
was! "f the$e were any old*ti'e$s in fo$ a good 9ou$th of 6uly gossip, they would now have plenty
to gossip a%out! " thought they would especially en&oy the pa$t whe$e o' sc$ea'ed at 'e to
unhand he$ %a%y! (hen you $etu$n to you$ su''e$ ho'e afte$ a long a%sence, it's always nice to
get off on the $ight foot!
The %ac#up lights fla$ed and the 6eep %egan $eve$sing down the $oad at a good twenty 'iles an
hou$! Now the t$ans'ission sounded not pissed off %ut panic#y + please, it was saying, please
stop, you'$e #illing 'e! The Scout's $ea$ end wagged f$o' side to side li#e the tail of a happy dog! "
watched it co'ing at 'e, hypnoti=ed + now in the no$th%ound lane, now ac$oss the white line and
into the south%ound lane, now ove$co$$ecting so that the left*hand ti$es spu'ed dust off the
shoulde$!
'attie go fast,' 'y new gi$lf$iend said in a conve$sational, isn't*this*inte$esting voice! She had
one a$' slung a$ound 'y nec#7 we we$e chu's, %y 5od!
.ut what the #id said wo#e 'e up! attie go fast, all $ight, too fast! attie would, 'o$e li#ely
than not, clean out the $ea$ end of 'y 3hev$olet! And if " &ust stood he$e, .a%y Snoo#s and " we$e
apt to end up as toothpaste %etween the two vehicles!
" %ac#ed the length of 'y ca$, #eeping 'y eyes fixed on the 6eep and yelling, 'Slow down,
attieC Slow downC'
3utie*pie li#ed that! 'S'yo downC' she yelled, sta$ting to laugh! 'S'yo down, you old attie, s'yo
downC'
The %$a#es sc$ea'ed in f$esh agony! The 6eep too# one last walloping, unhappy &e$# %ac#wa$d
as attie stopped without %enefit of the clutch! That final lunge too# the Scout's $ea$ %u'pe$ so
close to the $ea$ %u'pe$ of 'y 3hevy that you could have %$idged the gap with a ciga$ette! The
s'ell of oil in the ai$ was huge and fu$$y! The #id was waving a hand in f$ont of he$ face and
coughing theat$ically!
The d$ive$'s doo$ flew open7 attie 2evo$e flew out li#e a ci$cus ac$o%at shot f$o' a cannon, if
you can i'agine a ci$cus ac$o%at d$essed in old paisley sho$ts and a cotton s'oc# top! y fi$st
thought was that the little gi$l's %ig siste$ had %een %a%ysitting he$, that attie and u''y we$e
two diffe$ent people! " #new that little #ids often spend a pe$iod of thei$ develop'ent calling thei$
pa$ents %y thei$ fi$st na'es, %ut this pale*chee#ed %londe gi$l loo#ed all of twelve, fou$teen at the
outside! " decided he$ 'ad handling of the Scout hadn't %een te$$o$ fo$ he$ child -o$ not )ust te$$o$/
%ut total auto'otive inexpe$ience!
The$e was so'ething else, too, o#ayB Anothe$ assu'ption that " 'ade! The 'uddy fou$*wheel*
d$ive, the %aggy paisley sho$ts, the s'oc# that all %ut sc$ea'ed 1'a$t, the long yellow hai$ held
%ac# with those little $ed elastics, and 'ost of all the inattention that allows the th$ee*yea$*old in
you$ ca$e to go wande$ing off in the fi$st place ! ! ! all those things said t$aile$*t$ash to 'e! " #now
how that sounds, %ut " had so'e %asis fo$ it! Also, "'' "$ish, godda''it! y ancesto$s we$e t$aile$*
t$ash when the t$aile$s we$e still ho$se*d$awn ca$avans!
'Stinky*phew5' the little gi$l said, still waving a pudgy hand at the ai$ in f$ont of he$ face! 'Scoutie
stink5'
Where Scoutie's bathing suitie? " thought, and then 'y new gi$lf$iend was snatched out of 'y
a$'s! Now that she was close$, 'y idea that attie was the %athing %eauty's siste$ too# a hit! attie
wouldn't %e 'iddle*aged until well into the next centu$y, %ut she wasn't twelve o$ fou$teen, eithe$! "
now guessed twenty, 'ay%e a yea$ younge$! (hen she snatched the %a%y away, " saw the wedding
$ing on he$ left hand! " also saw the da$# ci$cles unde$ he$ eyes, g$ay s#in dusting to pu$ple! She
was young, %ut " thought it was a 'othe$'s te$$o$ and exhaustion " was loo#ing at!
" expected he$ to swat the tot, %ecause that's how t$aile$*t$ash 'o's $eact to %eing ti$ed and
sca$ed! (hen she did, " would stop he$, one way o$ anothe$ dist$act he$ into tu$ning he$ ange$ on
'e, if that was what it too#! The$e was nothing ve$y no%le in this, " should add7 all " $eally wanted
to do was to postpone the fanny*whac#ing, shoulde$*sha#ing, and in*you$*face shouting to a ti'e
and place whe$e " wouldn't have to watch it! "t was 'y fi$st day %ac# in town7 " didn't want to spend
any of it watching an inattentive slut a%use he$ child!
"nstead of sha#ing he$ and shouting '(he$e did you thin# you we$e going, you little %itchB'
attie fi$st hugged the child -who hugged %ac# enthusiastically, showing a%solutely no sign of
fea$/ and then cove$ed he$ face with #isses!
'(hy did you do thatB' she c$ied! '(hat was in you$ headB (hen " couldn't find you, " died!'
attie %u$st into tea$s! The child in the %athing suit loo#ed at he$ with an exp$ession of su$p$ise
so %ig and co'plete it would have %een co'ical unde$ othe$ ci$cu'stances! Then he$ own face
c$u'pled up! " stood %ac#, watched the' c$ying and hugging, and felt asha'ed of 'y
p$econceptions!
A ca$ went %y and slowed down! An elde$ly couple + a and 0a 1ettle on thei$ way to the sto$e
fo$ that holiday %ox of 5$ape*Nuts + gaw#ed out! " gave the' an i'patient wave with %oth hands,
the #ind that says what a$e you sta$ing at, go on, put an egg in you$ shoe and %eat it! They sped up,
%ut " didn't see an out*of*state license plate, as "'d hoped " 'ight! This ve$sion of a and 0a we$e
locals, and the sto$y would %e fleeting its $ounds soon enoughD attie the teenage %$ide and he$
little %undle of &oy -said %undle undou%tedly conceived in the %ac# seat of a ca$ o$ the %ed of a
pic#up t$uc# so'e 'onths %efo$e the legiti'i=ing ce$e'ony/, %awling thei$ eyes out at the side of
the $oad! (ith a st$ange$! No, not exactly a st$ange$! i#e Noonan, the w$ite$ fella f$o' upstate!
'" wanted to go to the %each and suh*suh*swim5' the little gi$l wept, and now it was 'swi'' that
sounded exotic + the 4ietna'ese wo$d fo$ 'ecstasy,' pe$haps!
'" said "'d ta#e you this afte$noon!' attie was still sniffing, %ut getting he$self unde$ cont$ol!
'2on't do that again, little guy, please don't you eve$ do that again, o''y was so sca$ed!'
'" won't,' the #id said '" $eally won't!' Still c$ying, she hugged the olde$ gi$l tight, laying he$ head
against the side of attie's nec#! He$ %ase%all cap fell off! " pic#ed it up, %eginning to feel ve$y
'uch li#e an outside$ he$e! " po#ed the %lue*and*$ed cap at attie's hand until he$ finge$s closed on
it!
" decided " also felt p$etty good a%out the way things had tu$ned out, and 'ay%e " had a $ight to!
"'ve p$esented the incident as if it was a'using, and it was, %ut it was the so$t of a'using you neve$
see until late$! (hen it was happening, it was te$$ifying! Suppose the$e had %een a t$uc# co'ing
f$o' the othe$ di$ectionB 3o'ing a$ound that cu$ve, and co'ing too fastB
A vehicle did co'e a$ound it, a pic#up of the type no tou$ist eve$ d$ives! Two 'o$e locals
gaw#ed thei$ way %y!
'a'a'B' " said! 'attieB " thin# "'d %ette$ get going! 5lad you$ little gi$l is all $ight!' The 'inute
it was out, " felt an al'ost i$$esisti%le u$ge to laugh! " could pictu$e 'e d$awling this speech to
attie -a na'e that %elonged in a 'ovie li#e ;nforgi&en o$ "rue -rit if any na'e eve$ did/ with
'y thu'%s hoo#ed into the %elt of 'y chaps and 'y Stetson pushed %ac# to $eveal 'y no%le %$ow!
" felt an insane u$ge to add, ',ou'$e $ight pu$ty, 'a'a', ain't you the new schoolteache$B'
She tu$ned to 'e and " saw that she was $ight pu$ty! Even with ci$cles unde$ he$ eyes and he$
%londe hai$ stic#ing off in go%s to eithe$ side of he$ head! And " thought she was doing o#ay fo$ a
gi$l p$o%a%ly not yet old enough to %uy a d$in# in a %a$! At least she hadn't %elted the %a%y!
'Than# you so 'uch,' she said! '(as she $ight in the $oadB' Say she wasn't, he$ eyes %egged! At
least say she was wal#ing along the shoulde$!
'(ell + '
'" wal#ed on the line,' the gi$l said, pointing! '"t's li#e the c$oss*'oc#!' He$ voice too# on a faintly
$ighteous tone! '3$oss'oc# is safe!'
attie's chee#s, al$eady white, tu$ned white$! " didn't li#e seeing he$ that way, and didn't li#e to
thin# of he$ d$iving ho'e that way, especially with a #id!
'(he$e do you live, $s! + B'
'2evo$e,' she said! '"'' attie 2evo$e!' She shifted the child and put out he$ hand! " shoo# it! The
'o$ning was wa$', and it was going to %e hot %y 'id*afte$noon + %each weathe$ fo$ su$e + %ut
the finge$s " touched we$e icy! '(e live &ust the$e!'
She pointed to the inte$section the Scout had shot out of, and " could see + su$p$ise, su$p$ise +
a dou%lewide t$aile$ set off in a g$ove of pines a%out two hund$ed feet up the little feede$ $oad!
(asp Hill Road, " $ecalled! "t $an a%out half a 'ile f$o' Route L? to the wate$ + what was #nown
as the iddle .ay! Ah yes, doc, it's all co'ing %ac# to 'e now! "'' once 'o$e $iding the 2a$#
Sco$e $ange! Saving little #ids is 'y specialty!
Still, " was $elieved to see that she lived close %y + less than a )ua$te$ of a 'ile f$o' the place
whe$e ou$ $espective vehicles we$e pa$#ed with thei$ tails al'ost touching + and when " thought
a%out it, it stood to $eason! A child as young as the %athing %eauty couldn't have wal#ed fa$ ! ! !
although this one had al$eady de'onst$ated a fai$ deg$ee of dete$'ination! " thought othe$'s
hagga$d loo# was even 'o$e suggestive of the daughte$'s will! " was glad " was too old to %e one of
he$ futu$e %oyf$iends7 she would have the' &u'ping th$ough hoops all th$ough high school and
college! Hoops of fi$e, li#ely!
(ell, the high*school pa$t, anyway! 5i$ls f$o' the dou%lewide side of town did not, as a gene$al
$ule, go to college unless the$e was a &uco o$ a vo#e*tech handy! And she would only have the'
&u'ping until the $ight %oy -o$ 'o$e li#ely the w$ong one/ ca'e sweeping a$ound the 5$eat 3u$ve
of 8ife and $an he$ down in the highway, he$ all the while unawa$e that the white line and the
c$oss'oc# we$e two diffe$ent things! Then the whole cycle would $epeat itself!
hrist almighty' Noonan' !uit it' " told 'yself! She's three years old and you'&e already got her
with three kids of her own' two with ringworm and one retarded(
'Than# you so 'uch,' attie $epeated!
'That's o#ay,' " said, and snu%%ed the little gi$l's nose! Although he$ chee#s we$e still wet with
tea$s, she g$inned at 'e sunnily enough in $esponse! 'This is a ve$y ve$%al little gi$l!'
'4e$y ve$%al, and ve$y willful!' Now attie did give he$ child a little sha#e, %ut the #id showed
no fea$, no sign that sha#ing o$ hitting was the o$de$ of 'ost days! On the cont$a$y, he$ s'ile
widened! He$ 'othe$ s'iled %ac#! And yes + once you got past the slopped*togethe$ loo# of he$,
she was 'ost ext$ao$dina$ily p$etty! 0ut he$ in a tennis d$ess at the 3astle Roc# 3ount$y 3lu%
-whe$e she'd li#ely neve$ go in he$ life, except 'ay%e as a 'aid o$ a wait$ess/, and she would
'ay%e %e 'o$e than p$etty! A young 5$ace 1elly, pe$haps!
Then she loo#ed %ac# at 'e, he$ eyes ve$y wide and g$ave!
'$! Noonan, "'' not a %ad 'othe$,' she said!
" felt a sta$t at 'y na'e co'ing f$o' he$ 'outh, %ut it was only 'o'enta$y! She was the $ight
age, afte$ all, and 'y %oo#s we$e p$o%a%ly %ette$ fo$ he$ than spending he$ afte$noons in f$ont of
-eneral .ospital and 2ne %ife to %i&e! A little, anyway!
'(e had an a$gu'ent a%out when we we$e going to the %each! " wanted to hang out the clothes,
have lunch, and go this afte$noon! 1y$a wanted + ' She %$o#e off! '(hatB (hat did " sayB'
'He$ na'e is 1iaB 2id + ' .efo$e " could say anything else, the 'ost ext$ao$dina$y thing
happenedD 'y 'outh was full of wate$! So full " felt a 'o'ent's panic, li#e so'eone who is
swi''ing in the ocean and swallows a wave*wash! Only this wasn't a salt taste7 it was cold and
f$esh, with a faint 'etal tang li#e %lood!
" tu$ned 'y head aside and spat! " expected a gush of li)uid to pou$ out of 'y 'outh + the so$t
of gush you so'eti'es get when co''encing a$tificial $espi$ation on a nea$*d$owning victi'!
(hat ca'e out instead was what usually co'es out when you spit on a hot dayD a little white pellet!
And that sensation was gone even %efo$e the little white pellet st$uc# the di$t of the shoulde$! "n an
instant, as if it had neve$ %een the$e!
'That 'an spi$ted,' the gi$l said 'atte$*of*factly!
'So$$y,' " said! " was also %ewilde$ed! (hat in 5od's na'e had that %een a%outB '" guess " had a
little delayed $eaction!'
attie loo#ed conce$ned, as though " we$e eighty instead of fo$ty! " thought that 'ay%e to a gi$l
he$ age, fo$ty is eighty! '2o you want to co'e up to the houseB "'ll give you a glass of wate$!'
'No, "'' fine now!'
'All $ight! $! Noonan ! ! ! all " 'ean is that nothing li#e this has eve$ happened to 'e %efo$e! "
was hanging sheets ! ! ! she was inside watching a #ighty #ouse ca$toon on the 43R ! ! ! then,
when " went in to get 'o$e pins ! ! ! ' She loo#ed at the gi$l, who was no longe$ s'iling! "t was
sta$ting to get th$ough to he$ now! He$ eyes we$e %ig, and $eady to fill with tea$s! 'She was gone! "
thought fo$ a 'inute "'d die of fea$!'
Now the #id's 'outh %egan to t$e'%le, and he$ eyes filled up $ight on schedule! She %egan to
weep! attie st$o#ed he$ hai$, soothing the s'all head until it lay against the 1'a$t s'oc# top!
'That's all $ight, 1i,' she said! '"t tu$ned out o#ay this ti'e, %ut you can't go out in the $oad! "t's
dange$ous! 8ittle things get $un ove$ in the $oad, and you'$e a little thing! The 'ost p$ecious little
thing in the wo$ld!'
She c$ied ha$de$! "t was the exhausted sound of a child who needed a nap %efo$e any 'o$e
adventu$es, to the %each o$ anywhe$e else!
'1ia %ad, 1ia %ad,' she so%%ed against he$ 'othe$'s nec#!
'No, honey, only th$ee,' attie said, and if " had ha$%o$ed any fu$the$ thoughts a%out he$ %eing a
%ad 'othe$, they 'elted away then! O$ pe$haps they'd al$eady gone + afte$ all, the #id was $ound,
co'ely, well*#ept, and un%$uised!
On one level, those things $egiste$ed! On anothe$ " was t$ying to cope with the st$ange thing that
had &ust happened, and the e)ually st$ange thing " thought " was hea$ing + that the little gi$l " had
ca$$ied off the white line had the na'e we had planned to give ou$ child, if ou$ child tu$ned out to
%e a gi$l!
'1ia,' " said! a$velled, $eally! As if 'y touch 'ight %$ea# he$, " tentatively st$o#ed the %ac# of
he$ head! He$ hai$ was sun*wa$' and fine!
'No,' attie said! 'That's the %est she can say it now! 1y$a, not 1ia! "t's f$o' the 5$ee#! "t 'eans
ladyli#e!' She shifted, a little self*conscious! '" pic#ed it out of a %a%y*na'e %oo#! (hile " was
p$egnant, " #ind of went Op$ah! .ette$ than going postal, " guess!'
'"t's a lovely na'e,' " said! 'And " don't thin# you'$e a %ad 'o'!'
(hat went th$ough 'y 'ind $ight then was a sto$y 9$an# A$len had told ove$ a 'eal at
3h$ist'as + it had %een a%out 0etie, the youngest %$othe$, and 9$an# had had the whole ta%le in
stitches! Even 0etie, who clai'ed not to $e'e'%e$ a %it of the incident, laughed until tea$s
st$ea'ed down his chee#s!
One Easte$, 9$an# said, when 0etie was a%out five, thei$ fol#s had gotten the' up fo$ an Easte$*
egg hunt! The two pa$ents had hidden ove$ a hund$ed colo$ed ha$d*%oiled eggs a$ound the house
the evening %efo$e, afte$ getting the #ids ove$ to thei$ g$andpa$ents'! A high old Easte$ 'o$ning was
had %y all, at least until 6ohanna loo#ed up f$o' the patio, whe$e she was counting he$ sha$e of the
spoils, and sh$ie#ed! The$e was 0etie, c$awling gaily a$ound on the second*floo$ ove$hang at the
%ac# of the house, not six feet f$o' the d$op to the conc$ete patio!
$! A$len had $escued 0etie while the $est of the fa'ily stood %elow, holding hands, f$o=en with
ho$$o$ and fascination! $s! A$len had $epeated the Hail a$y ove$ and ove$ -'so fast she sounded
li#e one of the 3hip'un#s on that old '(itch 2octo$' $eco$d,' 9$an# had said, laughing ha$de$ than
eve$/ until he$ hus%and had disappea$ed %ac# into the open %ed$oo' window with 0etie in his
a$'s! Then she had swooned to the pave'ent, %$ea#ing he$ nose! (hen as#ed fo$ an explanation,
0etie had told the' he'd wanted to chec# the $ain*gutte$ fo$ eggs!
" suppose eve$y fa'ily has at least one sto$y li#e that7 the su$vival of the wo$ld's 0eties and
1y$as is a convincing a$gu'ent + in the 'inds of pa$ents, anyway fo$ the existence of 5od!
'" was so sca$ed,' attie said, now loo#ing fou$teen again! 9ifteen at 'ost!
'.ut it's ove$,' " said! 'And 1y$a's not going to go wal#ing in the $oad any'o$e! A$e you, 1y$aB'
She shoo# he$ head against he$ 'othe$'s shoulde$ without $aising it! " had an idea she'd p$o%a%ly
%e asleep %efo$e attie got he$ %ac# to the good old dou%lewide!
',ou don't #now how %i=a$$e this is fo$ 'e,' attie said! 'One of 'y favo$ite w$ite$s co'es out of
nowhe$e and saves 'y #id! " #new you had a place on the TR, that %ig old log house eve$yone calls
Sa$a 8aughs, %ut fol#s say you don't co'e he$e any'o$e since you$ wife died!'
'9o$ a long ti'e " didn't,' " said! '"f Sa$a was a 'a$$iage instead of a house, you'd call this a t$ial
$econciliation!'
She s'iled fleetingly, then loo#ed g$ave again! '" want to as# you fo$ so'ething! A favo$!'
'As# away!'
'2on't tal# a%out this! "t's not a good ti'e fo$ 1i and 'e!'
'(hy notB'
She %it he$ lip and see'ed to conside$ answe$ing the )uestion + *one " 'ight not have as#ed,
given an ext$a 'o'ent to conside$ + and then shoo# he$ head! '"t's &ust not! And "'d %e so g$ateful
if you didn't tal# a%out what &ust happened in town! o$e g$ateful than you'll eve$ #now!'
'No p$o%le'!'
',ou 'ean itB'
'Su$e! "'' %asically a su''e$ pe$son who hasn't %een a$ound fo$ awhile ! ! ! which 'eans " don't
have 'any fol#s to tal# to, anyway!' The$e was .ill 2ean, of cou$se, %ut " could #eep )uiet a$ound
hi'! Not that he wouldn't #now! "f this little lady thought the locals we$en't going to find out a%out
he$ daughte$'s atte'pt to get to the %each %y shan#'s 'a$e, she was fooling he$self! '" thin# we've
%een noticed al$eady, though! Ta#e a loo# up at .$oo#sie's 5a$age! 0ee#, don't sta$e!'
She did, and sighed! Two old 'en we$e standing on the ta$'ac whe$e the$e had %een gas pu'ps
once upon a ti'e! One was ve$y li#ely .$oo#sie hi'self7 " thought " could see the $e'nants of the
flyaway $ed hai$ which had always 'ade hi' loo# li#e a downeast ve$sion of .o=o the 3lown! The
othe$, old enough to 'a#e .$oo#sie loo# li#e a wee slip of a lad, was leaning on a gold*headed
cane in a way that was )uee$ly vulpine!
'" can't do anything a%out the',' she said, sounding dep$essed! 'Nobody can do anything a%out
the'! " guess " should count 'yself luc#y it's a holiday and the$e's only two of the'!'
'.esides,' " added, 'they p$o%a%ly didn't see 'uch!' (hich igno$ed two thingsD fi$st, that half a
do=en ca$s and pic#*e'*ups had gone %y while we had %een standing he$e, and second, that
whateve$ .$oo#sie and his elde$ly f$iend hadn't seen, they would %e 'o$e than happy to 'a#e up!
On attie's shoulde$, 1y$a gave a ladyli#e sno$e! attie glanced at he$ and gave he$ a s'ile full
of $ue and love! '"'' so$$y we had to 'eet unde$ ci$cu'stances that 'a#e 'e loo# li#e such a dope,
%ecause " $eally a' a %ig fan! They say at the %oo#sto$e in 3astle Roc# that you've got a new one
co'ing out this su''e$!'
" nodded! '"t's called .elen's 6romise!'
She g$inned! '5ood title!'
'Than#s! ,ou %ette$ get you$ %uddy %ac# ho'e %efo$e she %$ea#s you$ a$'!'
',eah!'
The$e a$e people in this wo$ld who have a #nac# fo$ as#ing e'%a$$assing, aw#wa$d )uestions
without 'eaning to + it's li#e a talent fo$ wal#ing into doo$s! " a' one of that t$i%e, and as "
wal#ed with he$ towa$d the passenge$ side of the Scout, " found a good one! And yet it was ha$d to
%la'e 'yself too enthusiastically! " had seen the wedding $ing on he$ hand, afte$ all!
'(ill you tell you$ hus%andB'
He$ s'ile stayed on, %ut it paled so'ehow! And tightened! "f it we$e possi%le to delete a spo#en
)uestion the way you can delete a line of type when you'$e w$iting a sto$y, " would have done it!
'He died last August!'
'attie, "'' so$$y! Open 'outh, inse$t foot!'
',ou couldn't #now! A gi$l 'y age isn't even supposed to %e 'a$$ied, is sheB And if she is, he$
hus%and's supposed to %e in the a$'y, o$ so'ething!'
The$e was a pin# %a%y*seat + also 1'a$t, " guessed + on the passenge$ side of the Scout!
attie t$ied to %oost 1y$a in, %ut " could see she was st$uggling! " stepped fo$wa$d to help he$, and
fo$ &ust a 'o'ent, as " $eached past he$ to g$a% a plu'p leg, the %ac# of 'y hand %$ushed he$
%$east! She couldn't step %ac# unless she wanted to $is# 1y$a's slithe$ing out of the seat and onto the
floo$, %ut " could feel he$ $eco$ding the touch! y hus%and's dead, not a th$eat, so the %ig*deal
w$ite$ thin#s it's o#ay to cop a little feel on a hot su''e$ 'o$ning! And what can " sayB $! .ig
2eal ca'e along and hauled 'y #id out of the $oad, 'ay%e saved he$ life!
No' #attie' 1 may be forty going on a hundred' but 1 was not copping a feel! Except " couldn't say
that7 it would only 'a#e things wo$se! " felt 'y chee#s flush a little!
'How old are youB' " as#ed, when we had the %a%y s)ua$ed away and we$e %ac# at a safe
distance!
She gave 'e a loo#! Ti$ed o$ not, she had it togethe$ again! 'Old enough to #now the situation "''
in!' She held out he$ hand! 'Than#s again, $! Noonan! 5od sent you along at the $ight ti'e!'
'Nah, 5od &ust told 'e " needed a ha'%u$ge$ at the 4illage 3afe,' " said! 'O$ 'ay%e it was His
opposite nu'%e$! 0lease say .uddy's still doing %usiness at the sa'e old stand!'
She s'iled! "t wa$'ed he$ face %ac# up again, and " was happy to see it! 'He'll still %e the$e when
1i's #ids a$e old enough to t$y %uying %ee$ with fa#e "2S! Unless so'eone wande$s in off the $oad
and as#s fo$ so'ething li#e sh$i'p tet$a==ini! "f that happened he'd p$o%a%ly d$op dead of a hea$t
attac#!'
',eah! (ell, when " get copies of the new %oo#, "'ll d$op one off!'
The s'ile continued to hang in the$e, %ut now it shaded towa$d caution! ',ou don't need to do
that, $! Noonan!'
'No, %ut " will! y agent gets 'e fifty co'ps! " find that as " get olde$, they go fu$the$!'
0e$haps she hea$d 'o$e in 'y voice than " had 'eant to put the$e + people do so'eti'es, "
guess!
'All $ight! "'ll loo# fo$wa$d to it!'
" too# anothe$ loo# at the %a%y, sleeping in that )uee$ly casual way they have + he$ head tilted
ove$ on he$ shoulde$, he$ lovely little lips pu$sed and %lowing a %u%%le! Thei$ s#in is what #ills 'e
+ so fine and pe$fect the$e see' to %e no po$es at all! He$ Sox hat was as#ew! attie watched 'e
$each in and $ead&ust it so the viso$'s shade fell ac$oss he$ closed eyes!
'1y$a,' " said!
attie nodded! '8adyli#e!'
'1ia is an Af$ican na'e,' " said! '"t 'eans 'season's %eginning!'' " left he$ then, giving he$ a little
wave as " headed %ac# to the d$ive$'s side of the 3hevy! " could feel he$ cu$ious eyes on 'e, and "
had the oddest feeling that " was going to c$y!
That feeling stayed with 'e long afte$ the two of the' we$e out of sight7 was still with 'e when
" got to the 4illage 3afe! " pulled into the di$t pa$#ing lot to the left of the off*%$and gas pu'ps and
&ust sat the$e fo$ a little while, thin#ing a%out 6o and a%out a ho'e p$egnancy*testing #it which had
cost twenty*two*fifty! A little sec$et she'd wanted to #eep until she was a%solutely su$e! That 'ust
have %een it7 what else could it have %eenB
'1ia,' " said! 'Season's %eginning!' .ut that 'ade 'e feel li#e c$ying again, so " got out of the ca$
and sla''ed the doo$ ha$d %ehind 'e, as if " could #eep the sadness inside that way!
3HA0TER E"5HT
.uddy 6ellison was &ust the sa'e, all $ight + sa'e di$ty coo#s' whites and splotchy white ap$on,
sa'e flyaway g$ay hai$ unde$ a pape$ cap stained with eithe$ %eef*%lood o$ st$aw%e$$y &uice! Even,
f$o' the loo#, the sa'e oat'eal*coo#ie c$u'%s caught in his $agged 'ustache! He was 'ay%e
fifty*five and 'ay%e seventy, which in so'e genetically favo$ed 'en see's to %e still within the
fa$thest %o$de$s of 'iddle age! He was huge and sha'%ly + p$o%a%ly six*fou$, th$ee hund$ed
pounds + and &ust as full of g$ace, wit, and )oie de &i&re as he had %een fou$ yea$s %efo$e!
',ou want a 'enu o$ do you $e'e'%e$B' he g$unted, as if "'d last %een in yeste$day!
',ou still 'a#e the 4illage%u$ge$ 2eluxeB'
'2oes a c$ow still shit in the pine topsB' 0ale eyes $ega$ding 'e! No condolences, which was fine
%y 'e!
'ost li#ely! "'ll have one with eve$ything + a 4illage%u$ge$, not a c$ow + plus a chocolate
f$appe! 5ood to see you again!'
" offe$ed 'y hand! He loo#ed su$p$ised %ut touched it with his own! Unli#e the whites, the ap$on,
and the hat, the hand was clean! Even the nails we$e clean! ',uh,' he said, then tu$ned to the sallow
wo'an chopping onions %eside the g$ill! '4illage%u$ge$, Aud$ey,' he said! '2$ag it th$ough the
ga$den!'
"'' o$dina$ily a sit*at*the*counte$ #ind of guy, %ut that day " too# a %ooth nea$ the coole$ and
waited fo$ .uddy to yell that it was $eady + Aud$ey sho$t*o$de$s, %ut she doesn't wait$ess! "
wanted to thin#, and .uddy's was a good place to do it! The$e we$e a couple of locals eating
sandwiches and d$in#ing sodas st$aight f$o' the can, %ut that was a%out it7 people with su''e$
cottages would have to %e sta$ving to eat at the 4illage 3afe, and even then you'd li#ely have to
haul the' th$ough the doo$ #ic#ing and sc$ea'ing! The floo$ was faded g$een linoleu' with a
$olling topog$aphy of hills and valleys! 8i#e .uddy's unifo$', it was none too clean -the su''e$
people who ca'e in p$o%a%ly failed to notice his hands/! The woodwo$# was g$easy and da$#!
A%ove it, whe$e the plaste$ sta$ted, the$e we$e a nu'%e$ of %u'pe$*stic#e$s + .uddy's idea of
deco$ation!
HORN .RO1EN + (AT3H 9OR 9"N5ER!
("9E AN2 2O5 "SS"N5! RE(AR2 9OR 2O5!
THERE'S NO TO(N 2RUN1 HERE, (E A88 TA1E TURNS!
Hu'o$ is al'ost always ange$ with its 'a#eup on, " thin#, %ut in little towns the 'a#eup tends to
%e thin! Th$ee ove$head fans paddled apathetically at the hot ai$, and to the left of the soft*d$in#
coole$ we$e two dangling st$ips of flypape$, %oth li%e$ally stippled with wildlife, so'e of it still
st$uggling fee%ly! "f you could loo# at those and still eat, you$ digestion was p$o%a%ly doing o#ay!
" thought a%out a si'ila$ity of na'es which was su$ely, had to %e, a coincidence! " thought a%out
a young, p$etty gi$l who had %eco'e a 'othe$ at sixteen o$ seventeen and a widow at nineteen o$
twenty! " thought a%out inadve$tently touching he$ %$east, and how the wo$ld &udged 'en in thei$
fo$ties who suddenly discove$ed the fascinating wo$ld of young wo'en and thei$ accesso$ies! ost
of all " thought of the )uee$ thing that had happened to 'e when attie had told 'e the #id's na'e
+ that sense that 'y 'outh and th$oat we$e suddenly flooded with cold, 'ine$al*tangy wate$! That
rush!
(hen 'y %u$ge$ was $eady, .uddy had to call twice! (hen " went ove$ to get it, he saidD ',ou
%ac# to stay o$ to clea$ outB'
'(hyB' " as#ed! '2id you 'iss 'e, .uddyB'
'Nup,' he said, '%ut at least you'$e f$o' in*state! 2id you #now that 'assachusetts' is 0iscata)ua
fo$ 'asshole'B'
',ou'$e as funny as eve$,' " said!
',uh! "'' going on fuc#in 8ette$'an! Explain to hi' why 5od gave seagulls wings!'
'(hy was that, .uddyB'
'So they could %eat the fuc#in 9$ench'en to the du'p!'
" got a newspape$ f$o' the $ac# and a st$aw fo$ 'y f$appe! Then " detou$ed to the pay phone and,
tuc#ing 'y pape$ unde$ 'y a$', opened the phone %oo#! ,ou could actually wal# a$ound with it if
you wanted7 it wasn't tethe$ed to the phone! (ho, afte$ all, would want to steal a 3astle 3ounty
telephone di$ecto$yB
The$e we$e ove$ twenty 2evo$es, which didn't su$p$ise 'e ve$y 'uch + it's one of those na'es,
li#e 0el#ey o$ .owie o$ Tootha#e$, that you #ept co'ing ac$oss if you lived down he$e! " i'agine
it's the sa'e eve$ywhe$e + so'e fa'ilies %$eed 'o$e and t$avel less, that's all!
The$e was a 2evo$e listing fo$ 'R2 (sp H": Rd,' %ut it wasn't fo$ a attie, athilda, a$tha, o$
! "t was fo$ 8ance! " loo#ed at the f$ont of the phone %oo# and saw it was a :;;J 'odel, p$inted
and 'ailed while attie's hus%and was still in the land of the living! O#ay ! ! ! %ut the$e was
so'ething else a%out that na'e! 2evo$e, 2evo$e, let us now p$aise fa'ous 2evo$es7 whe$efo$e a$t
thou 2evo$eB .ut it wouldn't co'e, whateve$ it was!
" ate 'y %u$ge$, d$an# 'y li)uefied ice c$ea', and t$ied not to loo# at what was caught on the
flypape$!
(hile " was waiting fo$ the sallow, silent Aud$ey to give 'e 'y change -you could still eat all
wee# in the 4illage 3afe fo$ fifty dolla$s ! ! ! if you$ %lood*vessels could stand it, that was/, " $ead
the stic#e$ pasted to the cash $egiste$! "t was anothe$ .uddy 6ellison specialD 3,.ERS0A3E S3ARE2
E SO .A2 " 2O(N8OA2E2 "N , 0ANTS! This didn't exactly convulse 'e with 'i$th, %ut it did
p$ovide the #ey fo$ solving one of the day's 'yste$iesD why the na'e 2evo$e had see'ed not &ust
fa'ilia$ %ut evocative!
" was financially well off, $ich %y the standa$ds of 'any! The$e was at least one pe$son with ties
to the TR, howeve$, who was $ich %y the standa$ds of eve$y%ody, and filthy $ich %y the standa$ds of
'ost yea$*$ound $esidents of the la#es $egion! "f, that was, he was still eating, %$eathing, and
wal#ing a$ound!
'Aud$ey, is ax 2evo$e still aliveB'
She gave 'e a little s'ile! 'Oh, ayuh! .ut we don't see hi' in he$e too often!'
That got the laugh out of 'e that all of .uddy's &o#e stic#e$s hadn't %een a%le to elicit! Aud$ey,
who had always %een yellowish and who now loo#ed li#e a candidate fo$ a live$ t$ansplant,
snic#e$ed he$self! .uddy gave us a li%$a$ian's p$i' gla$e f$o' the fa$ end of the counte$, whe$e he
was $eading a flye$ a%out the holiday NAS3AR $ace at Oxfo$d 0lains!
" d$ove %ac# the way " had co'e! A %ig ha'%u$ge$ is a %ad 'eal to eat in the 'iddle of a hot
day7 it leaves you feeling sleepy and heavy*witted! All " wanted was to go ho'e -"'d %een the$e less
than twenty*fou$ hou$s and was al$eady thin#ing of it as ho'e/, flop on the %ed in the no$th
%ed$oo' unde$ the $evolving fan, and sleep fo$ a couple of hou$s!
(hen " passed (asp Hill Road, " slowed down! The laund$y was hanging listlessly on the lines,
and the$e was a scatte$ of toys in the f$ont ya$d, %ut the Scout was gone! attie and 1y$a had
donned thei$ suities, " i'agined, and headed on down to the pu%lic %eachie! "'d li#ed the' %oth, and
)uite a lot! attie's sho$t*lived 'a$$iage had p$o%a%ly hoo#ed he$ so'ehow to ax 2evo$e ! ! ! %ut
loo#ing at the $usty dou%lewide t$aile$ with its di$t d$iveway and %alding f$ont ya$d, $e'e'%e$ing
attie's %aggy sho$ts and 1'a$t s'oc# top, " had to dou%t that the hoo# was a st$ong one!
.efo$e $eti$ing to 0al' Sp$ings in the late eighties, axwell (illia' 2evo$e had %een a d$iving
fo$ce in the co'pute$ $evolution! "t's p$i'a$ily a young people's $evolution, %ut 2evo$e did o#ay fo$
a golden oldie + #new the playing*field and unde$stood the $ules! He sta$ted when 'e'o$y was
sto$ed on 'agnetic tape instead of in co'pute$ chips and a wa$ehouse*si=ed c$unche$ called
UN"4A3 was state*of*the*a$t! He was fluent in 3O.O8 and spo#e 9ORTRAN li#e a native! As
the field expanded %eyond his a%ility to #eep up, expanded to the point whe$e it %egan to define the
wo$ld, he %ought the talent he needed to #eep g$owing!
His co'pany, 4isions, had c$eated scanning p$og$a's which could upload ha$d copy onto
floppy dis#s al'ost instantaneously7 it c$eated g$aphic*i'aging p$og$a's which had %eco'e the
indust$y standa$d7 it c$eated 0ixel Easel, which allowed laptop use$s to 'ouse*paint ! ! ! to actually
finge$paint, if thei$ gadget ca'e e)uipped with what 6o had called 'the clito$al cu$so$!' 2evo$e had
invented none of this late$ stuff, %ut he'd unde$stood that it could %e invented and had hi$ed people
to do it! He held do=ens of patents and co*held hund$eds 'o$e! He was supposedly wo$th
so'ething li#e six hund$ed 'illion dolla$s, depending on how technology stoc#s we$e doing on any
given day!
On the TR he was $eputed to %e c$usty and unpleasant! No su$p$ise the$e7 to a Na=a$ene, can any
good thing co'e out of Na=a$ethB And fol#s said he was eccent$ic, of cou$se! 8isten to the old*
ti'e$s who $e'e'%e$ the $ich and successful in thei$ salad days -and all the old*ti'e$s clai' they
do/, and you'll hea$ that they ate the wallpape$, fuc#ed the dog, and showed up at chu$ch suppe$s
wea$ing nothing %ut thei$ pee*stained .42S! Even if all that was t$ue in 2evo$e's case, and even if
he was Sc$ooge c2uc# in the %a$gain, " dou%ted that he'd allow two of his close$ $elatives to live
in a dou%lewide t$aile$!
" d$ove up the lane a%ove the la#e, then paused at the head of 'y d$iveway, loo#ing at the sign
the$eD SARA 8AU5HS %u$ned into a length of va$nished %oa$d nailed to a handy t$ee! "t's the way
they do things down he$e! 8oo#ing at it %$ought %ac# the last d$ea' of the ande$ley se$ies! "n that
d$ea' so'eone had slapped a $adio*station stic#e$ on the sign, the way you'$e always seeing
stic#e$s slapped on tu$npi#e toll*collection %as#ets in the exact*change lanes!
" got out of 'y ca$, went to the sign, and studied it! No stic#e$! The sunflowe$s had %een down
the$e, g$owing out of the stoop + " had a photo in 'y suitcase that p$oved it + %ut the$e was no
$adio*station stic#e$ on the house sign! 0$oving exactly whatB 3o'e on, Noonan, get a g$ip!
" sta$ted %ac# to the ca$ + the doo$ was open, the .each .oys spilling out of the spea#e$s +
then changed 'y 'ind and went %ac# to the sign again! "n the d$ea', the stic#e$ had %een pasted
&ust a%ove the RA of SARA and the 8AU of 8AU5HS! " touched 'y finge$s to that spot and thought
they ca'e away feeling slightly stic#y! Of cou$se that could have %een the feel of va$nish on a hot
day! O$ 'y i'agination!
" d$ove down to the house, pa$#ed, set the e'e$gency %$a#e -on the slopes a$ound 2a$# Sco$e
and the do=en o$ so othe$ la#es in weste$n aine, you always set you$ %$a#e/, and listened to the
$est of '2on't (o$$y, .a%y,' which "'ve always thought was the %est of the .each .oys' songs, g$eat
not in spite of the sappy ly$ics %ut %ecause of the'! "f you #new how 'uch " love you, %a%y, .$ian
(ilson sings, nothing could go w$ong with you! And oh fol#s, wouldn't that %e a wo$ld!
" sat the$e listening and loo#ed at the ca%inet set against the $ight side of the stoop! (e #ept ou$
ga$%age in the$e to foil the neigh%o$hood $accoons! Even cans with snap*down lids won't always do
that7 if the coons a$e hung$y enough, they so'ehow 'anage the lids with thei$ cleve$ little hands!
,ou're not going to do what you're thinking of doing' " told 'yself! 1 mean ( ( ( are you?
"t see'ed " was + o$ that " was at least going to have a go! (hen the .each .oys gave way to
Ra$e Ea$th, " got out of the ca$, opened the sto$age ca%inet, and pulled out two plastic ga$%age cans!
The$e was a guy na'ed Stan 0$oulx who ca'e down to yan# the t$ash twice a wee# -o$ the$e was
fou$ yea$s ago, " $e'inded 'yself/, one of .ill 2ean's fa$flung netwo$# of pa$t*ti'e$s wo$#ing fo$
cash off the %oo#s, %ut " didn't thin# Stan would have %een down to collect the cu$$ent
accu'ulation of swill %ecause of the holiday, and " was $ight! The$e we$e two plastic ga$%age %ags
in each can! " hauled the' out -cu$sing 'yself fo$ a fool even while " was doing it/ and untwisted
the yellow ties!
" $eally don't thin# " was so o%sessed that " would have du'ped a %unch of wet ga$%age out on
'y stoop if it had co'e to that -of cou$se "'ll neve$ #now fo$ su$e, and 'ay%e that's fo$ the %est/,
%ut it didn't! No one had lived in the house fo$ fou$ yea$s, $e'e'%e$, and it's occupancy that
p$oduces ga$%age + eve$ything f$o' coffee*g$ounds to used sanita$y nap#ins! The stuff in these
%ags was d$y t$ash swept togethe$ and ca$ted out %y .$enda ese$ve's cleaning c$ew!
The$e we$e nine vacuu'*cleane$ disposal %ags containing fo$ty*eight 'onths of dust, di$t, and
dead flies! The$e we$e wads of pape$ towels, so'e s'elling of a$o'atic fu$nitu$e polish and othe$s
of the sha$pe$ %ut still pleasant a$o'a of (index! The$e was a 'oldy 'att$ess pad and a sil# &ac#et
which had that un'ista#a%le dined*upon*%y*'oths loo#! The &ac#et ce$tainly caused 'e no $eg$ets7
a 'ista#e of 'y young 'anhood, it loo#ed li#e so'ething f$o' the .eatles' '" A' the (al$us' e$a!
5oo*goo*&oo%, %a%y!
The$e was a %ox filled with %$o#en glass ! ! ! anothe$ filled with un$ecogni=a%le -and p$esu'a%ly
out*of*date/ plu'%ing fixtu$es ! ! ! a to$n and filthy s)ua$e of ca$pet ! ! ! done*to*death dishtowels,
faded and $agged ! ! ! the old oven*gloves "'d used when coo#ing %u$ge$s and chic#en on the
%a$%ecue ! ! !
The stic#e$ was in a twist at the %otto' of the second %ag! "'d #nown " would find it + f$o' the
'o'ent "'d felt that faintly tac#y patch on the sign, "'d #nown + %ut "'d needed to see it fo$ 'yself!
The sa'e way old 2ou%ting Tho'as had needed to get the %lood unde$ his finge$nails, " suppose!
" placed 'y find on a %oa$d of the sunwa$'ed stoop and s'oothed it out with 'y hand! "t was
sh$edded a$ound the edges! " guessed .ill had p$o%a%ly used a putty*#nife to sc$ape it off! He hadn't
wanted $! Noonan to co'e %ac# to the la#e afte$ fou$ yea$s and discove$ so'e %ee$ed*up #id had
slapped a $adio*station stic#e$ on his d$iveway sign! 5o$$y, no, 't'wouldn't %e p$ope$, deah! So off it
had co'e and into the t$ash it had gone and he$e it was again, anothe$ piece of 'y night'a$e
unea$thed and not 'uch the wo$se fo$ wea$! " $an 'y finge$s ove$ it! (.8, :AF!;, 0ORT8AN2'S
RO31 AN2 RO88 .8"0!
" told 'yself didn't have to %e af$aid! That it 'eant nothing, &ust as all the $est of it 'eant
nothing! Then " got the %$oo' out of the ca%inet, swept all the t$ash togethe$, and du'ped it %ac# in
the plastic %ags! The stic#e$ went in with the $est!
" went inside 'eaning to showe$ the dust and g$i'e away, then spied 'y own %athing suitie, still
lying in one of 'y open suitcases, and decided to go swi''ing instead! The suit was a &olly
nu'%e$, cove$ed with spouting whales, that " had pu$chased in 1ey 8a$go! " thought 'y pal in the
.osox cap would have app$oved! " chec#ed 'y watch and saw that " had finished 'y 4illage%u$ge$
fo$ty*five 'inutes ago! 3lose enough fo$ gove$n'ent wo$#, @emo sabe, especially afte$ engaging
in an ene$getic ga'e of T$ash*.ag T$easu$e Hunt!
" pulled on 'y suit and wal#ed down the $ail$oad*tie steps which lead f$o' Sa$a to the wate$! y
flip*flops snapped and flapped! A few late 'os)uitoes hu''ed! The la#e glea'ed in f$ont of 'e,
still and inviting unde$ that low hu'id s#y! Running no$th and south along its edge, %o$de$ing the
enti$e east side of the la#e, was a $ight*of*way path -it's called 'co''on p$ope$ty' in the deeds/
which fol#s on the TR si'ply call The St$eet! "f one we$e to tu$n left onto The St$eet at the foot of
'y steps, one could wal# all the way down to the 2a$# Sco$e a$ina, passing (a$$ington's and
.uddy 6ellison's scu==y little eate$y on the way ! ! ! not to 'ention fou$ do=en su''e$ cottages,
disc$eetly tuc#ed into sloping g$oves of sp$uce and pine! Tu$n $ight and you could wal# to Halo
.ay, although it would ta#e you a day to do it with The St$eet ove$g$own the way it is now!
" stood the$e fo$ a 'o'ent on the path, then $an fo$wa$d and leaped into the wate$! Even as "
flew th$ough the ai$ with the g$eatest of ease, it occu$$ed to 'e that the last ti'e " had &u'ped in
li#e this, " had %een holding 'y wife's hand!
Touching down was al'ost a catast$ophe! The wate$ was cold enough to $e'ind 'e that " was
fo$ty, not fou$teen, and fo$ a 'o'ent 'y hea$t stopped dead in 'y chest! As 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e
closed ove$ 'y head, " felt )uite su$e that " wasn't going to co'e up alive! "'d %e found d$ifting
facedown %etween the swi''ing float and 'y little st$etch of The St$eet, a victi' of cold wate$
and a g$easy 4illage%u$ge$! They'd ca$ve ,ou$ othe$ Always Said To (ait At 8east An Hou$ on
'y to'%stone!
Then 'y feet landed in the stones and sli'y weedstuff g$owing along the %otto', 'y hea$t #ic#*
sta$ted, and " shoved upwa$d li#e a guy planning to sla'*dun# ho'e the last sco$e of a close
%as#et%all ga'e! As " $etu$ned to the ai$, " gasped! (ate$ went in 'y 'outh and " coughed it %ac#
out, patting one hand against 'y chest in an effo$t to encou$age 'y hea$t + co'e on, %a%y, #eep
going, you can do it!
" ca'e %ac# down standing waist*deep in the la#e and with 'y 'outh full of that cold taste +
la#ewate$ with an unde$tinge of 'ine$als, the #ind you'd have to co$$ect fo$ when you washed you$
clothes! "t was exactly what " had tasted while standing on the shoulde$ of Route L?! "t was what "
had tasted when attie 2evo$e told 'e he$ daughte$'s na'e!
1 made a psychological connection' that's all( /rom the similarity of the names to my dead wife
to this lake( Which 3
'(hich " have tasted a ti'e o$ two %efo$e,' " said out loud! As if to unde$line the fact, " scooped
up a pal'ful of wate$ + so'e of the cleanest and clea$est in the state, acco$ding to the analysis
$epo$ts " and all the othe$ 'e'%e$s of the so*called (este$n 8a#es Association get each yea$ +
and d$an# it down! The$e was no $evelation, no sudden wei$d flashes in 'y head! "t was &ust 2a$#
Sco$e, fi$st in 'y 'outh and then in 'y sto'ach!
" swa' out to the float, cli'%ed the th$ee*$ung ladde$ on the side, and flopped on the hot %oa$ds,
feeling suddenly ve$y glad " had co'e! "n spite of eve$ything! To'o$$ow " would sta$t putting
togethe$ so'e so$t of life down he$e ! ! ! t$ying to, anyway! 9o$ now it was enough to %e lying with
'y head in the c$oo# of one a$', on the ve$ge of a do=e, confident that the day's adventu$es we$e
ove$!
As it happened, that was not )uite t$ue!
2u$ing ou$ fi$st su''e$ on the TR, 6o and " discove$ed it was possi%le to see the 3astle Roc#
fi$ewo$#s show f$o' the dec# ove$loo#ing the la#e! " $e'e'%e$ed this &ust as it was d$awing down
towa$d da$#, and thought that this yea$ " would spend that ti'e in the living $oo', watching a
'ovie on the video playe$! Reliving all the 9ou$th of 6uly twilights we had spent out the$e, d$in#ing
%ee$ and laughing as the %ig ones went off, would %e a %ad idea! " was lonely enough without that,
lonely in a way of which " had not %een conscious in 2e$$y! Then " wonde$ed what " had co'e
down he$e fo$, if not to finally face 6ohanna's 'e'o$y + all of it + and put it to loving $est!
3e$tainly the possi%ility of w$iting again had neve$ see'ed 'o$e distant than it did that night!
The$e was no %ee$ + "'d fo$gotten to get a sixpac# eithe$ at the 5ene$al Sto$e o$ at the 4illage
3afe + %ut the$e was soda, cou$tesy of .$enda ese$ve! " got a can of 0epsi and settled in to
watch the lightshow, hoping it wouldn't hu$t too 'uch! Hoping, " supposed, that " wouldn't c$y! Not
that " was #idding 'yself7 the$e we$e 'o$e tea$s he$e, all $ight! "'d &ust have to get th$ough the'!
The fi$st explosion of the night had &ust gone off a spangly %u$st of %lue with the %ang t$avelling
fa$ %ehind + when the phone $ang! "t 'ade 'e &u'p as the faint explosion f$o' 3astle Roc# had
not! " decided it was p$o%a%ly .ill 2ean, calling long*distance to see if " was settling in all $ight!
"n the su''e$ %efo$e 6o died, we'd gotten a wi$eless phone so we could p$owl the downstai$s
while we tal#ed, a thing we %oth li#ed to do! " went th$ough the sliding glass doo$ into the living
$oo', punched the pic#up %utton, and said, 'Hello, this is i#e,' as " went %ac# to 'y dec#*chai$
and sat down! 9a$ ac$oss the la#e, exploding %elow the low clouds hanging ove$ 3astle 4iew, we$e
g$een and yellow sta$%u$sts, followed %y soundless flashes that would eventually $each 'e as noise!
9o$ a 'o'ent the$e was nothing f$o' the phone, and then a 'an's $aspy voice + an elde$ly
voice %ut not .ill 2ean's + said, 'NoonanB $! NoonanB'
',esB' A huge spangle of gold lit up the west, shive$ing the low clouds with %$ief filig$ee! "t 'ade
'e thin# of the awa$d shows you see on television, all those %eautiful wo'en in shining d$esses!
'2evo$e!'
',esB' " said again, cautiously!
'ax 2evo$e!'
We don't see him in here too often, Aud$ey had said! " had ta#en that fo$ ,an#ee wit, %ut
appa$ently she'd %een se$ious! (onde$s neve$ ceased!
O#ay, what nextB " was at a total loss fo$ conve$sational ga'%its! " thought of as#ing hi' how
he'd gotten 'y nu'%e$, which was unlisted, %ut what would %e the pointB (hen you we$e wo$th
ove$ half a %illion dolla$s + if this $eally was the ax 2evo$e " was tal#ing to + you could get
any old unlisted nu'%e$ you wanted!
" settled fo$ saying yes again, this ti'e without the little uptilt at the end!
Anothe$ silence followed! (hen " %$o#e it and %egan as#ing )uestions, he would %e in cha$ge of
the conve$sation ! ! ! if we could %e said to %e having a conve$sation at that point! A good ga'%it,
%ut " had the advantage of 'y long association with Ha$old O%lows#i to fall %ac# on + Ha$old,
'aste$ of the p$egnant pause! " sat tight, cunning little co$dless phone to 'y ea$, and watched the
show in the west! Red %u$sting into %lue, g$een into gold7 unseen wo'en wal#ed the clouds in
glowing awa$d*show evening d$esses!
'" unde$stand you 'et 'y daughte$*in*law today,' he said at last! He sounded annoyed!
'" 'ay have done,' " said, t$ying not to sound su$p$ised! 'ay " as# why you'$e calling, $!
2evo$eB'
'" unde$stand the$e was an incident!'
(hite lights danced in the s#y + they could have %een exploding spacec$aft! Then, t$ailing afte$,
the %angs! 1'&e disco&ered the secret of time tra&el, " thought! 1t's an auditory phenomenon(
y hand was holding the phone fa$ too tightly, and " 'ade it $elax! axwell 2evo$e! Half a
%illion dolla$s! Not in 0al' Sp$ings, as " had supposed, %ut close + $ight he$e on the TR, if the
cha$acte$istic unde$*hu' on the line could %e t$usted!
'"'' conce$ned fo$ 'y g$anddaughte$!' His voice was $aspie$ than eve$! He was ang$y, and it
showed + this was a 'an who hadn't had to conceal his e'otions in a lot of yea$s! '" unde$stand
'y daughte$*in*law's attention wande$ed again! "t wande$s often!'
Now half a do=en colo$ed sta$%u$sts lit the night, %loo'ing li#e flowe$s in an old 2isney natu$e
fil'! " could i'agine the c$owds gathe$ed on 3astle 4iew sitting c$oss*legged on thei$ %lan#ets,
eating ice c$ea' cones and d$in#ing %ee$ and all going 2ooooh at the sa'e ti'e! That's what 'a#es
any successful wo$# of a$t, " thin#*eve$y%ody goes 2ooooh at the sa'e ti'e!
',ou're scared of this guy' aren't you? 6o as#ed! 2kay' maybe you're right to be scared( A man
who feels he can be angry whene&er he wants to at whoe&er he wants to ( ( ( that's a 'an who can
%e dange$ous!
Then attie's voiceD #r( Noonan' 1'm not a bad mother( Nothing like this has e&er happened to
me before(
Of cou$se that's what 'ost %ad 'othe$s say in such ci$cu'stances, " i'agined ! ! ! %ut " had
%elieved he$!
Also, godda''it, 'y nu'%e$ was unlisted! " had %een sitting he$e with a soda, watching the
fi$ewo$#s, %othe$ing no%ody, and this guy had +
'$! 2evo$e, " don't have any idea what + '
'2on't give 'e that, with all due $espect don't give 'e that, $! Noonan, you we$e seen tal#ing to
the'!' He sounded as " i'agine 6oe cca$thy sounded to those poo$ sch'uc#s who ended up %eing
%$anded di$ty co''ies when they ca'e %efo$e his co''ittee!
Be careful' #ike, 6o said! Beware of #a$well's sil&er hammer(
'" did see and spea# to a wo'an and a little gi$l this 'o$ning,' " said! '" p$esu'e they'$e the ones
you'$e tal#ing a%out!'
'No, you saw a toddler wal#ing on the $oad alone,' he said! 'And then you saw a wo'an chasing
afte$ he$! y daughte$*in*law, in that old thing she d$ives! The child could have %een $un down!
(hy a$e you p$otecting that young wo'an, $! NoonanB 2id she p$o'ise you so'ethingB ,ou'$e
ce$tainly doing the child no favo$s, " can tell you that 'uch!'
She promised to take me back to her trailer and then take me around the world, " thought of
saying! She promised to keep her mouth open the whole time if 1'd keep mine shut 3 is that what
you want to hear?
,es, 6o said! 4e$y li#ely that is what he wants to hea$! 4e$y li#ely what he wants to %elieve!
2on't let hi' p$ovo#e you into a %u$st of you$ sopho'o$e sa$cas', i#e + you could $eg$et it!
(hy was " %othe$ing to p$otect attie 2evo$e, anywayB " didn't #now! 2idn't have the slightest
idea of what " 'ight %e getting into he$e, fo$ that 'atte$! " only #new that she had loo#ed ti$ed, and
the child hadn't %een %$uised o$ f$ightened o$ sullen!
'The$e was a ca$! An old 6eep!'
'That's 'o$e li#e it!' Satisfaction! And sha$p inte$est! 5$eed, al'ost! '(hat did + '
'" guess " assu'ed they ca'e in the ca$ togethe$,' " said! The$e was a ce$tain giddy pleasu$e in
discove$ing 'y capacity fo$ invention had not dese$ted 'e + " felt li#e a pitche$ who can no
longe$ do it in f$ont of a c$owd, %ut who can still th$ow a p$etty good slide$ in the old %ac# ya$d!
'The little gi$l 'ight have had so'e daisies!' All the ca$eful )ualifications, as if " we$e testifying in
cou$t instead of sitting on 'y dec#! Ha$old would have %een p$oud! (ell, no! Ha$old would have
%een ho$$ified that " was having such a conve$sation at all!
'" thin# " assu'ed they we$e pic#ing wildflowe$s! y 'e'o$y of the incident isn't all that clea$,
unfo$tunately! "'' a w$ite$, $! 2evo$e, and when "'' d$iving " often d$ift off into 'y own p$ivate
+ '
',ou'$e lying!' The ange$ was $ight out in the open now, %$ight and pulsing li#e a %oil! As " had
suspected, it hadn't ta#en 'uch effo$t to esco$t this guy past the social niceties!
'$! 2evo$e! The co'pute$ 2evo$e, " assu'eB'
',ou assu'e co$$ectly!'
6o always g$ew coole$ in tone and exp$ession as he$ not inconside$a%le te'pe$ g$ew hotte$! Now
" hea$d 'yself e'ulating he$ in a way that was f$an#ly ee$ie! '$! 2evo$e, "'' not accusto'ed to
%eing called in the evening %y 'en " don't #now, no$ do " intend to p$olong the conve$sation when
a 'an who does so calls 'e a lia$! 5ood evening, si$!'
'"f eve$ything was fine, then why did you stopB'
'"'ve %een away f$o' the TR fo$ so'e ti'e, and " wanted to #now if the 4illage 3afe was still
open! Oh, %y the way + " don't #now whe$e you got 'y telephone nu'%e$, %ut " #now whe$e you
can put it! 5ood night!'
" %$o#e the connection with 'y thu'% and then &ust loo#ed at the phone, as if " had neve$ seen
such a gadget in 'y life! The hand holding it was t$e'%ling! y hea$t was %eating ha$d7 " could
feel it in 'y nec# and w$ists as well as 'y chest! " wonde$ed if " could have told 2evo$e to stic#
'y phone nu'%e$ up his ass if " hadn't had a few 'illion $attling a$ound in the %an# 'yself!
"he Battle of the "itans, dea$, 6o said in he$ cool voice! And all o&er a teenage girl in a trailer(
She didn't e&en ha&e any breasts to speak of(
" laughed out loud! (a$ of the TitansB Ha$dly! So'e old $o%%e$ %a$on f$o' the tu$n of the
centu$y had said, 'These days a 'an with a 'illion dolla$s thin#s he's $ich!' 2evo$e would li#ely
have the sa'e opinion of 'e, and in the wide$ sche'e of things he would %e $ight!
Now the weste$n s#y was alight with unnatu$al, pulsing colo$! "t was the finale!
'(hat was that all a%outB' " as#ed!
No answe$7 only a loon calling ac$oss the la#e! 0$otesting all the unaccusto'ed noise in the s#y,
as li#ely as not!
" got up, went inside, and put the phone %ac# in its cha$ging c$adle, $eali=ing as " did that " was
expecting it to $ing again, expecting 2evo$e to sta$t spouting 'ovie clichesD 1f you get in my way
1'll and 1'm warning you' friend' not to and %et me gi&e you a piece of good ad&ice before you!
The phone didn't $ing! " pou$ed the $est of 'y soda down 'y gullet, which was unde$standa%ly
d$y, and decided to go to %ed! At least the$e hadn't %een any weeping and wailing out the$e on the
dec#7 2evo$e had pulled 'e out of 'yself! "n a wei$d way, " was g$ateful to hi'!
" went into the no$th %ed$oo', und$essed, and lay down! " thought a%out the little gi$l, 1y$a, and
the 'othe$ who could have %een he$ olde$ siste$! 2evo$e was pissed at attie, that 'uch was clea$,
and if " was a financial nonentity to the guy, what 'ust she %e to hi'B And what #ind of $esou$ces
would she have if he had ta#en against he$B That was a p$etty nasty thought, actually, and it was the
one " fell asleep on!
" got up th$ee hou$s late$ to eli'inate the can of soda " had unwisely downed %efo$e $eti$ing, and
as " stood %efo$e the %owl, pissing with one eye open, " hea$d the so%%ing again! A child
so'ewhe$e in the da$#, lost and f$ightened ! ! ! o$ pe$haps &ust pretending to %e lost and f$ightened!
'2on't,' " said! " was standing na#ed %efo$e the toilet %owl, 'y %ac# alive with gooseflesh! '0lease
don't sta$t up with this shit, it's sca$y!'
The c$ying dwindled as it had %efo$e, see'ing to di'inish li#e so'ething ca$$ied down a tunnel!
" went %ac# to %ed, tu$ned on 'y side, and closed 'y eyes!
'"t was a d$ea',' " said! '6ust anothe$ ande$ley d$ea'!'
" #new %ette$, %ut " also #new " was going %ac# to sleep, and $ight then that see'ed li#e the
i'po$tant thing! As " d$ifted off, " thought in a voice that was pu$ely 'y ownD She is ali&e( Sara is
ali&e(
And " unde$stood so'ething, tooD she %elonged to 'e! " had $eclai'ed he$! 9o$ good o$ ill, " had
co'e ho'e!
3HA0TER N"NE
At nine o'cloc# the following 'o$ning " filled a s)uee=e*%ottle with g$apef$uit &uice and set out fo$
a good long wal# south along The St$eet! The day was %$ight and al$eady hot! "t was also silent +
the #ind of silence you expe$ience only afte$ a Satu$day holiday, " thin#, one co'posed of e)ual
pa$ts holiness and hangove$! " could see two o$ th$ee fishe$'en pa$#ed fa$ out on the la#e, %ut not a
single powe$ %oat %u$$ed, not a single gaggle of #ids shouted and splashed! " passed half a do=en
cottages on the slope a%ove 'e, and although all of the' we$e li#ely inha%ited at this ti'e of yea$,
the only signs of life " saw we$e %athing suits hung ove$ the dec# $ail at the 0assendales' and a half*
deflated fluo$escent*g$een seaho$se on the .atchelde$s' stu% of a doc#!
.ut did the 0assendales' little g$ay cottage still %elong to the 0assendalesB 2id the .atchelde$s'
a'using ci$cula$ su''e$*ca'p with its 3ine$a'a pictu$e*window pointing at the la#e and the
'ountains %eyond still %elong to the .atchelde$sB No way of telling, of cou$se! 9ou$ yea$s can
%$ing a lot of changes!
" wal#ed and 'ade no effo$t to thin# + an old t$ic# f$o' 'y w$iting days! (o$# you$ %ody, $est
you$ 'ind, let the %oys in the %ase'ent do thei$ &o%s! " 'ade 'y way past ca'ps whe$e 6o and "
had once had d$in#s and %a$%ecues and attended the occasional ca$d*pa$ty, " soa#ed up the silence
li#e a sponge, " d$an# 'y &uice, " a$'ed sweat off 'y fo$ehead, and " waited to see what thoughts
'ight co'e!
The fi$st was an odd $eali=ationD that the c$ying child in the night see'ed so'ehow 'o$e $eal
than the call f$o' ax 2evo$e! Had " actually %een phoned %y a $ich and o%viously %ad*te'pe$ed
techno*'ogul on 'y fi$st full evening %ac# on the TRB Had said 'ogul actually called 'e a lia$ at
one pointB -" was, conside$ing the tale " had told, %ut that was %eside the point!/ " #new it had
happened, %ut it was actually easie$ to %elieve in The 5host of 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e, #nown a$ound
so'e ca'pfi$es as The yste$ious 3$ying 1iddie!
y next thought + this was &ust %efo$e " finished 'y &uice + was that " should call attie
2evo$e and tell he$ what had happened! " decided it was a natu$al i'pulse %ut p$o%a%ly a %ad idea!
" was too old to %elieve in such si'plicities as The 2a'sel in 2ist$ess 4e$sus The (ic#ed
Stepfathe$ ! ! ! o$, in this case, 9athe$*in*8aw! " had 'y own fish to f$y this su''e$, and " didn't
want to co'plicate 'y &o% %y getting into a potentially ugly dispute %etween $! 3o'pute$ and
s! 2ou%lewide! 2evo$e had $u%%ed 'y fu$ the w$ong way + and vigo$ously + %ut that p$o%a%ly
wasn't pe$sonal, only so'ething he did as a 'atte$ of cou$se! Hey, so'e guys snap %$a*st$aps! 2id "
want to get in his face on thisB No! " did not! " had saved 8ittle iss Red Sox, " had gotten 'yself
an inadve$tent feel of o''s s'all %ut pleasantly fi$' %$east, " had lea$ned that 1y$a was 5$ee# fo$
ladyli#e! Any 'o$e than that would %e gluttony, %y 5od!
" stopped at that point, feet as well as %$ain, $eali=ing "'d wal#ed all the way to (a$$ington's, a
vast %a$n%oa$d st$uctu$e which locals so'eti'es called the count$y clu%! "t was, so$t of + the$e
was a six*hole golf cou$se, a sta%le and $iding t$ails, a $estau$ant, a %a$, and lodging fo$ pe$haps
th$ee do=en in the 'ain %uilding and the eight o$ nine satellite ca%ins! The$e was even a two*lane
%owling alley, although you and you$ co'petition had to ta#e tu$ns setting up the pins!
(a$$ington's had %een %uilt a$ound the %eginning of (o$ld (a$ "! That 'ade it younge$ than Sa$a
8aughs, %ut not %y 'uch!
A long doc# led out to a s'alle$ %uilding called The Sunset .a$! "t was the$e that (a$$ington's
su''e$ guests would gathe$ fo$ d$in#s at the end of the day -and so'e fo$ .loody a$ys at the
%eginning/! And when " glanced out that way, " $eali=ed " was no longe$ alone! The$e was a wo'an
standing on the po$ch to the left of the floating %a$'s doo$, watching 'e!
She gave 'e a p$etty good &u'p! y ne$ves we$en't in thei$ %est condition $ight then, and that
p$o%a%ly had so'ething to do with it ! ! ! %ut " thin# she would have given 'e a &u'p in any case!
0a$t of it was he$ stillness! 0a$t was he$ ext$ao$dina$y thinness! ost of it was he$ face! Have you
eve$ seen that Edva$d unch d$awing, "he ryB (ell, if you i'agine that sc$ea'ing face at $est,
'outh closed and eyes watchful, you'll have a p$etty good i'age of the wo'an standing at the end
of the doc# with one long*finge$ed hand $esting on the $ail! Although " 'ust tell you that 'y fi$st
thought was not 4d&ard #unch %ut #rs( Dan&ers!
She loo#ed a%out seventy and was wea$ing %lac# sho$ts ove$ a %lac# tan# %athing suit! The
co'%ination loo#ed st$angely fo$'al, a va$iation on the eve$*popula$ little %lac# coc#tail d$ess! He$
s#in was c$ea'*white, except a%ove he$ nea$ly flat %oso' and along he$ %ony shoulde$s! The$e it
swa' with la$ge %$own age*spots! He$ face was a wedge featu$ing p$o'inent s#ull*li#e chee#%ones
and an unlined la'p of %$ow! .eneath that %ulge, he$ eyes we$e lost in soc#ets of shadow! (hite
hai$ hung scant and lan# a$ound he$ ea$s and down to the p$o'inent shelf of he$ &aw!
-od' she's thin' 1 thought( She's nothing but a bag of 3
A shudde$ twisted th$ough 'e at that! "t was a st$ong one, as if so'eone we$e spinning a wi$e in
'y flesh! " didn't want he$ to notice it + what a way to sta$t a su''e$ day, %y $evolting a guy so
%adly that he stood the$e sha#ing and g$i'acing in f$ont of you + so " $aised 'y hand and waved! "
t$ied to s'ile, as well! Hello the$e, lady standing out %y the floating %a$! Hello the$e, you old %ag of
%ones, you sca$ed the living shit out of 'e %ut it doesn't ta#e 'uch these days and " fo$give you!
How the fuc# ya doinB " wonde$ed if 'y s'ile loo#ed as 'uch li#e a g$i'ace to he$ as it felt to 'e!
She didn't wave %ac#!
9eeling )uite a %it li#e a fool + THERE'S NO 4"88A5E "2"OT HERE, (E A88 TA1E TURNS + "
ended 'y wave in a #ind of half*assed salute and headed %ac# the way "'d co'e! 9ive steps and "
had to loo# ove$ 'y shoulde$7 the sensation of he$ watching 'e was so st$ong it was li#e a hand
p$essing %etween 'y shoulde$%lades!
The doc# whe$e she'd %een was co'pletely dese$ted! " s)uinted 'y eyes, at fi$st su$e she 'ust
have &ust $et$eated deepe$ into the shadow th$own %y the little boo+ehaus, %ut she was gone! As if
she had %een a ghost he$self!
She stepped into the bar' hon, 6o said! ,ou know that' don't you? 1 mean ( ( ( you do know it'
right?
'Right, $ight,' " 'u$'u$ed, setting off no$th along The St$eet towa$d ho'e! 'Of cou$se " do!
(he$e elseB' Except it didn't see' to 'e that the$e had %een ti'e7 it didn't see' to 'e that she
could have stepped in, even in he$ %a$e feet, without 'e hea$ing he$! Not on such a )uiet 'o$ning!
6o againD 6erhaps she's stealthy(
',es,' " 'u$'u$ed! " did a lot of tal#ing out loud %efo$e that su''e$ was ove$! ',es, pe$haps she
is! 0e$haps she's stealthy!' Su$e! 8i#e $s! 2anve$s!
" stopped again and loo#ed %ac#, %ut the $ight*of*way path had followed the la#e a$ound a little
%it of cu$ve, and " could no longe$ see eithe$ (a$$ington's o$ The Sunset .a$! And $eally, " thought,
that was &ust as well!
On 'y way %ac#, " t$ied to list the oddities which had p$eceded and then su$$ounded 'y $etu$n to
Sa$a 8aughsD the $epeating d$ea's7 the sunflowe$s7 the $adio*station stic#e$7 the weeping in the
night! " supposed that 'y encounte$ with attie and 1y$a, plus the follow*up phone*call f$o' $!
0ixel Easel, also )ualified as passing st$ange ! ! ! %ut not in the sa'e way as a child you hea$d
so%%ing in the night!
And what a%out the fact that we had %een in 2e$$y instead of on 2a$# Sco$e when 6ohanna diedB
2id that )ualify fo$ the listB " didn't #now! " couldn't even $e'e'%e$ why that was! "n the fall and
winte$ of :;;G "'d %een fiddling with a sc$eenplay fo$ "he Red*Shirt #an! "n 9e%$ua$y of ';< " got
going on All the Way from the "op, and that a%so$%ed 'ost of 'y attention! .esides, deciding to go
west to the TR, west to Sa$a ! ! !
'That was 6o's &o%,' " told the day, and as soon as " hea$d the wo$ds " unde$stood how t$ue they
we$e! (e'd %oth loved the old gi$l, %ut saying 'Hey "$ish, let's get ou$ asses ove$ to the TR fo$ a few
days' had %een 6o's &o%! She 'ight say it any ti'e ! ! ! except in the yea$ %efo$e he$ death she hadn't
said it once! And " had neve$ thought to say it fo$ he$! Had so'ehow fo$gotten all a%out Sa$a
8aughs, it see'ed, even when su''e$ ca'e a$ound! (as it possi%le to %e that a%so$%ed in a
w$iting p$o&ectB "t didn't see' li#ely ! ! ! %ut what othe$ explanation was the$eB
So'ething was ve$y w$ong with this pictu$e, %ut " didn't #now what it was! Not f$o' nothin!
That 'ade 'e thin# of Sa$a Tidwell, and the ly$ics to one of he$ songs! She had neve$ %een
$eco$ded, %ut " owned the .lind 8e'on 6effe$son ve$sion of this pa$ticula$ tune! One ve$se wentD
1t ain't nuthin but a barn*dance sugar
1t ain't nuthin but a round*and*round
%et me kiss you on your sweet lips sugar
,ou the good thing that 1 found(
" loved that song, and had always wonde$ed how it would have sounded co'ing out of a
wo'an's 'outh instead of f$o' that whis#ey*voiced old t$ou%adou$! Out of Sa$a Tidwell's 'outh! "
%et she sang sweet! And %oy, " %et she could swing it!
" had gotten %ac# to 'y own place again! " loo#ed a$ound, saw no one in the i''ediate vicinity
-although " could now hea$ the day's fi$st s#i*%oat %u$$ing away downwate$/, st$ipped to 'y
unde$pants, and swa' out to the float! " didn't cli'% it, only lay %eside it holding onto the ladde$
with one hand and la=ily #ic#ing 'y feet! "t was nice enough, %ut what was " going to do with the
$est of the dayB
" decided to spend it cleaning 'y wo$# a$ea on the second floo$! (hen that was done, 'ay%e "'d
go out and loo# a$ound in 6o's studio! "f " didn't lose 'y cou$age, that was!
" swa' %ac#, #ic#ing easily along, $aising 'y head in and out of wate$ which flowed along 'y
%ody li#e cool sil#! " felt li#e an otte$! " was 'ost of the way to the sho$e when " $aised 'y d$ipping
face and saw a wo'an standing on The St$eet, watching 'e! She was as thin as the one "'d seen
down at (a$$ington's ! ! ! %ut this one was g$een! 5$een and pointing no$th along the path li#e a
d$yad in so'e old legend!
" gasped, swallowed wate$, coughed it %ac# out! " stood up in chest*deep wate$ and wiped 'y
st$ea'ing eyes! Then " laughed -al%eit a little dou%tfully/! The wo'an was g$een %ecause she was a
%i$ch g$owing a little to the no$th of whe$e 'y set of $ail$oad*tie steps ended at The St$eet! And
even with 'y eyes clea$ of wate$, the$e was so'ething c$eepy a%out how the leaves a$ound the
ivo$y*st$ea#ed*with*%lac# t$un# al'ost 'ade a pee$ing face! The ai$ was pe$fectly still and so the
face was pe$fectly still -as still as the face of the wo'an in the %lac# sho$ts and %athing suit had
%een/, %ut on a %$ee=y day it would see' to s'ile o$ f$own ! ! ! o$ pe$haps to laugh! .ehind it the$e
g$ew a sic#ly pine! One %a$e %$anch &utted off to the no$th! "t was this " had 'ista#en fo$ a s#inny
a$' and a %ony, pointing hand!
"t wasn't the fi$st ti'e "'d spoo#ed 'yself li#e that! " see things, that's all! ($ite enough sto$ies
and eve$y shadow on the floo$ loo#s li#e a footp$int, eve$y line in the di$t li#e a sec$et 'essage!
(hich did not, of cou$se, ease the tas# of deciding what was $eally peculia$ at Sa$a 8aughs and
what was peculia$ only %ecause 'y mind was peculia$!
" glanced a$ound, saw " still had this pa$t of the la#e to 'yself -although not fo$ 'uch longe$7 the
%ee*%u== of the fi$st powe$ %oat had %een &oined %y a second and thi$d/, and st$ipped off 'y soggy
unde$pants! " w$ung the' out, put the' on top of 'y sho$ts and tee*shi$t, and wal#ed na#ed up the
$ail$oad*tie steps with 'y clothes held against 'y chest! " p$etended " was .unte$, %$inging
%$ea#fast and the 'o$ning pape$ to 8o$d 0ete$ (i'sey! .y the ti'e " got %ac# inside the house "
was g$inning li#e a fool!
The second floo$ was stifling in spite of the open windows, and " saw why as soon as " got to the
top of the stai$s! 6o and " had sha$ed space up he$e, she on the left -only a little $oo', $eally &ust a
cu%%y, which was all she needed with the studio no$th of the house/, 'e on the $ight! At the fa$ end
of the hall was the g$illed snout of the 'onste$ ai$*conditioning unit we'd %ought the yea$ afte$ we
%ought the lodge! 8oo#ing at it, " $eali=ed " had 'issed its cha$acte$istic hu' without even %eing
awa$e of it! The$e was a sign taped to it which said, #r( NoonanA Broken( Blows hot air when you
turn it on B sounds full of broken glass( Dean says the part it needs is promised from Western Auto
in astle Rock( 1'll belie&e it when 1 see it( B( #eser&e(
" g$inned at that last + *it was $s! ! $ight down to the g$ound + and then " t$ied the switch!
achine$y often $esponds favo$a%ly when it senses a penis*e)uipped hu'an in the vicinity, 6o used
to clai', %ut not this ti'e! " listened to the ai$ conditione$ g$ind fo$ five seconds o$ so, then
snapped it off! '2a'n thing shit the %ed,' as TR fol#s li#e to say! And until it was fixed, " wouldn't
even %e doing c$osswo$d pu==les up he$e!
" loo#ed in 'y office &ust the sa'e, as cu$ious a%out what " 'ight feel as a%out what " 'ight
find! The answe$ was next to nothing! The$e was the des# whe$e " had finished "he Red*Shirt #an,
thus p$oving to 'yself that the fi$st ti'e wasn't a flu#e7 the$e was the photo of Richa$d Nixon, a$'s
$aised, flashing the dou%le 4*fo$*4icto$y sign, with the caption (OU82 ,OU .U, A USE2
3AR 9RO TH"S ANB $unning %eneath7 the$e was the $ag $ug 6o had hoo#ed fo$ 'e a winte$ o$
two %efo$e she had discove$ed the wonde$ful wo$ld of afghans and p$etty 'uch gave up hoo#ing!
"t wasn't )uite the office of a st$ange$, %ut eve$y ite' -'ost of all, the wei$dly e'pty su$face of
the des#/ said that it was the wo$#*space of an ea$lie$*gene$ation i#e Noonan! en's lives, " had
$ead once, a$e usually defined %y two p$i'a$y fo$cesD wo$# and 'a$$iage! "n 'y life the 'a$$iage
was ove$ and the ca$ee$ on what appea$ed to %e pe$'anent hiatus! 5iven that, it didn't see' st$ange
to 'e that now the space whe$e "'d spent so 'any days, usually in a state of $eal happiness as "
'ade up va$ious i'agina$y lives, see'ed to 'ean nothing! "t was li#e loo#ing at the office of an
e'ployee who had %een fi$ed ! ! ! o$ who had died suddenly!
" sta$ted to leave, then had an idea! The filing ca%inet in the co$ne$ was c$a''ed with pape$s +
%an# state'ents -'ost eight o$ ten yea$s out of date/, co$$espondence -'ostly neve$ answe$ed/, a
few sto$y f$ag'ents*%ut " didn't find what " was loo#ing fo$! " 'oved on to the closet, whe$e the
te'pe$atu$e had to %e at least a hund$ed and ten deg$ees, and in a ca$d%oa$d %ox which $s! ! had
'a$#ed 5A25ETS, " unea$thed it + a Sanyo e'o*Sc$i%e$ 2e%$a (einstoc# gave 'e at the
conclusion of ou$ wo$# on the fi$st of the 0utna' %oo#s! "t could %e set to tu$n itself on when you
sta$ted to tal#7 it d$opped into its 0AUSE 'ode when you stopped to thin#!
" neve$ as#ed 2e%$a if the thing &ust caught he$ eye and she thought, '(hy, "'ll %et any self*
$especting popula$ novelist would en&oy owning one of these %a%ies,' o$ if it was so'ething a little
'o$e specific ! ! ! so'e so$t of hint, pe$hapsB 4e$%ali=e those little faxes f$o' you$ su%conscious
while they'$e still f$esh, NoonanB " hadn't #nown then and didn't now! .ut " had it, a genuine p$o*
)uality dictating*'achine, and the$e we$e at least a do=en cassette tapes in 'y ca$, ho'e du%s "'d
'ade to listen to while d$iving! " would inse$t one in the e'o*Sc$i%e$ tonight, slide the volu'e
cont$ol as high as it would go, and put the 'achine in its 2"3TATE 'ode! Then, if the noise "'d
hea$d at least twice now $epeated itself, " would have it on tape! " could play it fo$ .ill 2ean and
as# hi' what he thought it was!
What if 1 hear the sobbing child tonight and the machine ne&er kicks on?
'(ell then, "'ll #now so'ething else,' " told the e'pty, sunlit office! " was standing the$e in the
doo$way with the e'o*Sc$i%e$ unde$ 'y a$', loo#ing at the e'pty des# and sweating li#e a pig!
'O$ at least suspect it!'
6o's noo# ac$oss the hall 'ade 'y office see' c$owded and ho'ey %y co'pa$ison! Neve$
ove$full, it was now nothing %ut a s)ua$e $oo'*shaped space! The $ug was gone, he$ photos we$e
gone, even the des# was gone! This loo#ed li#e a do*it*you$self p$o&ect which had %een a%andoned
afte$ ninety pe$cent of the wo$# had %een done! 6o had %een sc$u%%ed out of it + sc$aped out of it
+ and " felt a 'o'ent's un$easona%le ange$ at .$enda ese$ve! " thought of what 'y 'othe$
usually said when "'d done so'ething on 'y own initiative of which she disapp$ovedD ',ou too# a
little too 'uch on y'self, didn't youB' That was 'y feeling a%out 6o's little %it of officeD that in
e'ptying it to the walls this way, $s! ese$ve had ta#en a little too 'uch on he$self!
#aybe it wasn't #rs( #( who cleaned it out, the U9O voice said! #aybe 0o did it herself( 4&er
think of that' sport?
'That's stupid,' " said! '(hy would sheB " ha$dly thin# she had a p$e'onition of he$ own death!
3onside$ing she'd &ust %ought + '
.ut " didn't want to say it! Not out loud! "t see'ed li#e a %ad idea so'ehow!
" tu$ned to leave the $oo', and a sudden sigh of cool ai$, a'a=ing in that heat, $ushed past the
sides of 'y face! Not 'y %ody7 &ust 'y face! "t was the 'ost ext$ao$dina$y sensation, li#e hands
patting %$iefly %ut gently at 'y chee#s and fo$ehead! At the sa'e ti'e the$e was a sighing in 'y
ea$s ! ! ! except that's not )uite $ight! "t was a susu$$us that went past 'y ea$s, li#e a whispe$ed
'essage spo#en in a hu$$y!
" tu$ned, expecting to see the cu$tains ove$ the $oo''s window in 'otion ! ! ! %ut they hung
pe$fectly st$aight!
'6oB' " said, and hea$ing he$ na'e 'ade 'e shive$ so violently that " al'ost d$opped the e'o*
Sc$i%e$! '6o, was that youB'
Nothing! No phanto' hands patting 'y s#in, no 'otion f$o' the cu$tains ! ! ! which the$e
ce$tainly would have %een if the$e had %een an actual d$aft! All was )uiet! The$e was only a tall
'an with a sweaty face and a tape*$eco$de$ unde$ his a$' standing in the doo$way of a %a$e
$oo' ! ! ! %ut that was when " fi$st %egan to $eally %elieve that " wasn't alone in Sa$a 8aughs!
So what? " as#ed 'yself! 4&en if it should be true' so what? -hosts can't hurt anyone(
That's what " thought then!
(hen " visited 6o's studio -he$ air*conditioned studio/ afte$ lunch, " felt )uite a lot %ette$ a%out
.$enda ese$ve + she hadn't ta#en too 'uch on he$self afte$ all! The few ite's " especially
$e'e'%e$ed f$o' 6o's little office + the f$a'ed s)ua$e of he$ fi$st afghan, the g$een $ag $ug, he$
f$a'ed poste$ depicting the wildflowe$s of aine + had %een put out he$e, along with al'ost
eve$ything else " $e'e'%e$ed! "t was as if $s! ! had sent a 'essage + 1 can't ease your pain or
shorten your sadness' and 1 can't pre&ent the wounds that coming back here may re*open' but 1 can
put all the stuff that may hurt you in one place' so you won't be stumbling o&er it une$pected or
unprepared( 1 can do that much(
Out he$e we$e no %a$e walls7 out he$e the walls &ostled with 'y wife's spi$it and c$eativity! The$e
we$e #nitted things -so'e se$ious, 'any whi'sical/, %ati# s)ua$es, $ag dolls popping out of what
she called ''y %a%y collages,' an a%st$act dese$t painting 'ade f$o' st$ips of yellow, %lac#, and
o$ange sil#, he$ flowe$ photog$aphs, even, on top of he$ %oo#shelf, what appea$ed to %e a
const$uction*in*p$og$ess, a head of Sa$a 8aughs he$self! "t was 'ade out of toothpic#s and lollipop
stic#s!
"n one co$ne$ was he$ little loo' and a wooden ca%inet with a sign $eading 6O'S 1N"TT"N5 STU99C
NO TRES0ASS"N5C hung ove$ the pull*#no%! "n anothe$ was the %an&o she had t$ied to lea$n and then
given up on, saying it hu$t he$ finge$s too 'uch! "n a thi$d was a #aya# paddle and a pai$ of
Rolle$%lades with scuffed toes and little pu$ple po'po's on the tips of the laces!
The thing which caught and held 'y eye was sitting on the old $oll*top des# in the cente$ of the
$oo'! 2u$ing the 'any good su''e$s, falls, and winte$ wee#ends we had spent he$e, that des#top
would have %een litte$ed with spools of th$ead, s#eins of ya$n, pincushions, s#etches, 'ay%e a %oo#
a%out the Spanish 3ivil (a$ o$ fa'ous A'e$ican dogs! 6ohanna could %e agg$avating, at least to
'e, %ecause she i'posed no $eal syste' o$ o$de$ on what she did! She could also %e daunting, even
ove$whel'ing at ti'es! She was a %$illiant scatte$%$ain, and he$ des# had always $eflected that!
.ut not now! "t was possi%le to thin# that $s! ! had clea$ed the litte$ f$o' the top of it and
plun#ed down what was now the$e, %ut i'possi%le to %elieve! (hy would sheB "t 'ade no sense!
The o%&ect was cove$ed with a g$ay plastic hood! " $eached out to touch it, and 'y hand falte$ed
an inch o$ two sho$t as a 'e'o$y of an old d$ea'
7gi&e me that it's my dust*catcher8
slipped ac$oss 'y 'ind 'uch as that )uee$ d$aft ad slipped ac$oss 'y face! Then it was gone,
and " pulled the plastic, ove$ off! Unde$neath it was 'y old g$een ". Select$ic, which " hadn't
seen o$ thought of in yea$s! " leaned close$, #nowing that the typew$ite$ %all would %e 3ou$ie$ +
'y old favo$ite + even %efo$e " saw it!
(hat in 5od's na'e was 'y old typew$ite$ doing out he$eB
6ohanna painted -although not ve$y well/, she too# photog$aphs -ve$y good ones indeed/ and
so'eti'es sold the', she #nitted, she c$ocheted, she wove and dyed cloth, she could play eight o$
ten %asic cho$ds on the guita$! She could w$ite, of cou$se7 'ost English 'a&o$s can, which is why
they %eco'e English 'a&o$s! 2id she de'onst$ate any %la=ing deg$ee of lite$a$y c$eativityB No!
Afte$ a few expe$i'ents with poet$y as an unde$g$ad, she gave up that pa$ticula$ %$anch of the a$ts
as a %ad &o%! ,ou write for both of us' #ike, she had said once! "hat's all yours= 1'll )ust take a little
taste of e&erything else! 5iven the )uality of he$ poe's as opposed to the )uality of he$ sil#s,
photog$aphs, and #nitted a$t, " thought that was p$o%a%ly wise!
.ut he$e was 'y old ".! (hyB
'8ette$s,' " said! 'She found it down cella$ o$ so'ething, and $escued it to w$ite lette$s on!'
Except that wasn't 6o! She showed 'e 'ost of he$ lette$s, often u$ging 'e to w$ite little
postsc$ipts of 'y own, guilt*t$ipping 'e with that old saying a%out how the shoe'a#e$'s #ids
always go %a$efoot -'and the w$ite$'s f$iends would neve$ hea$ f$o' hi' if it we$en't fo$ Alexande$
5$aha' .ell,' she was apt to add/! " hadn't seen a typed pe$sonal lette$ f$o' 'y wife in all the ti'e
we'd %een 'a$$ied + if nothing else, she would have conside$ed it shitty eti)uette! She could type,
p$oducing 'ista#e*f$ee %usiness lette$s slowly yet 'ethodically, %ut she always used 'y des#top
co'pute$ o$ he$ own 0owe$%oo# fo$ those cho$es!
'(hat we$e you up to, honB' " as#ed, then %egan to investigate he$ des# d$awe$s!
.$enda ese$ve had 'ade an effo$t with these, %ut 6o's funda'ental natu$e had defeated he$!
Su$face o$de$ -spools of th$ead seg$egated %y colo$, fo$ instance/ )uic#ly gave way to 6o's old dea$
&u'%le! " found enough of he$ in those d$awe$s to hu$t 'y hea$t with a hund$ed unexpected
'e'o$ies, %ut " found no pape$wo$# which had %een typed on 'y old "., with o$ without the
3ou$ie$ %all! Not so 'uch as a single page!
(hen " was finished with 'y hunt, " leaned %ac# in 'y chai$ -her chai$/ and loo#ed at the little
f$a'ed photo on he$ des#, one " couldn't $e'e'%e$ eve$ having seen %efo$e! 6o had 'ost li#ely
p$inted it he$self -the o$iginal 'ight have co'e out of so'e local's attic/ and then hand*tinted the
$esult! The final p$oduct loo#ed li#e a wanted poste$ colo$i=ed %y Ted Tu$ne$!
" pic#ed it up and $an the %all of 'y thu'% ove$ the glass facing, %e'used! Sa$a Tidwell, the
tu$n*of*the*centu$y %lues shoute$ whose last #nown po$t of call had %een $ight he$e in TR*;A! (hen
she and he$ fol#s + so'e of the' f$iends, 'ost of the' $elatives + had left the TR, they had gone
on to 3astle Roc# fo$ a little while ! ! ! then had si'ply disappea$ed, li#e a cloud ove$ the ho$i=on
o$ 'ist on a su''e$ 'o$ning!
She was s'iling &ust a little in the pictu$e, %ut the s'ile was ha$d to $ead! He$ eyes we$e half*
closed! The st$ing of he$ guita$ + not a st$ap %ut a st$ing + was visi%le ove$ one shoulde$! "n the
%ac#g$ound " could see a %lac# 'an wea$ing a de$%y at a #ille$ angle -one thing a%out 'usiciansD
they $eally #now how to wea$ hats/ and standing %eside what appea$ed to %e a washtu% %ass!
6o had tinted Sa$a's s#in to a caf:*au*lait shade, 'ay%e %ased on othe$ pictu$es she'd seen -the$e
a$e )uite a few #noc#ing a$ound, 'ost showing Sa$a with he$ head th$own %ac# and he$ hai$
hanging al'ost to he$ waist as she %ellows out he$ fa'ous ca$ef$ee yell of a laugh/, although none
would have %een in colo$! Not at the tu$n of the centu$y! Sa$a Tidwell hadn't &ust left he$ 'a$# in
old photog$aphs, eithe$! " $ecalled 2ic#ie .$oo#s, owne$ of the All*0u$pose 5a$age, once telling 'e
that his fathe$ clai'ed to have won a teddy%ea$ at the 3astle 3ounty 9ai$'s shooting*pitch, and to
have given it to Sa$a Tidwell! She had $ewa$ded hi', 2ic#ie said, with a #iss! Acco$ding to 2ic#ie
the old 'an neve$ fo$got it, said it was the %est #iss of his life ! ! ! although " dou%t if he said it in
his wife's hea$ing!
"n this photo she was only s'iling! Sa$a Tidwell, #nown as Sa$a 8aughs! Neve$ $eco$ded, %ut he$
songs had lived &ust the sa'e! One of the', '(al# e .a%y,' %ea$s a $e'a$#a%le $ese'%lance to
'(al# This (ay,' %y Ae$os'ith! Today the lady would %e #nown as an Af$ican*A'e$ican! "n :;?<,
when 6ohanna and " %ought the lodge and conse)uently got inte$ested in he$, she would have %een
#nown as a .lac#! "n he$ own ti'e she would have %een called a Neg$ess o$ a da$#ie o$ possi%ly an
octo$oon! And a nigge$, of cou$se! The$e would have %een plenty of fol#s f$ee with that one! And
did " %elieve that she had #issed 2ic#ie .$oo#s's fathe$ + a white 'an + in f$ont of half of 3astle
3ountyB No, " did not! Still, who could say fo$ su$eB No one! That was the ent$ancing thing a%out
the past!
'"t ain't nuthin %ut a %a$n*dance suga$,' " sang, putting the pictu$e %ac# on the des#! '"t ain't nuthin
%ut a $ound*and*$ound!'
" pic#ed up the typew$ite$ cove$, then decided to leave it off! As " stood, 'y eyes went %ac# to
Sa$a, standing the$e with he$ eyes closed and the st$ing which se$ved he$ as a guita$ st$ap visi%le
ove$ one shoulde$! So'ething in he$ face and s'ile had always st$uc# 'e as fa'ilia$, and suddenly
it ca'e to 'e! She loo#ed oddly li#e Ro%e$t 6ohnson, whose p$i'itive lic#s hid %ehind the cho$ds
of al'ost eve$y 8ed Eeppelin and ,a$d%i$ds song eve$ $eco$ded! (ho, acco$ding to the legend, had
gone down to the c$oss$oads and sold his soul to Satan fo$ seven yea$s of fast living, high*tension
li)uo$, and st$eetlife %a%ies! And fo$ a &u#e&oint %$and of i''o$tality, of cou$se! (hich he had
gotten! Ro%e$t 6ohnson, supposedly poisoned ove$ a wo'an!
"n the late afte$noon " went down to the sto$e and saw a good*loo#ing piece of flounde$ in the cold*
case! "t loo#ed li#e suppe$ to 'e! " %ought a %ottle of white wine to go with it, and while " was
waiting 'y tu$n at the cash $egiste$, a t$e'%ling old 'an's voice spo#e up %ehind 'e! 'See you
'ade a new f$iend yes'ty!' The ,an#ee accent was so thic# that it sounded al'ost li#e a &o#e ! ! !
except the accent itself is only pa$t of it7 'ostly, "'ve co'e to %elieve, it's that singsong tone + $eal
aine$s all sound li#e auctionee$s!
" tu$ned and saw the gee=e$ who had %een standing out on the ga$age ta$'ac the day %efo$e,
watching along with 2ic#ie .$oo#s as " got to #now 1y$a, attie, and Scoutie! He still had the
gold*headed cane, and " now $ecogni=ed it! So'eti'e in the :;@As, the Boston 6ost had donated
one of those canes to eve$y county in the New England states! They we$e given to the oldest
$esidents and passed along f$o' old fa$t to old fa$t! And the &o#e of it was that the 6ost had gone
toes*up yea$s ago!
'Actually two new f$iends,' " $eplied, t$ying to d$edge up his na'e! " couldn't, %ut " $e'e'%e$ed
hi' f$o' when 6o had %een alive, holding down one of the ove$stuffed chai$s in 2ic#ie's waiting
$oo', discussing weathe$ and politics, politics and weathe$, as the ha''e$s whanged and the ai$*
co'p$esso$ chugged! A $egula$! And if so'ething happened out the$e on Highway L?, eye*5od, he
was the$e to see it!
'" hea$ attie 2evo$e can %e )uite a dea$,' he said heah' De&oah' deeah + and one of his c$usty
eyelids d$ooped! " have seen a fai$ nu'%e$ of salacious win#s in 'y ti'e, %ut none that was a patch
on the one tipped 'e %y that old 'an with the gold*headed cane! " felt a st$ong u$ge to #noc# his
waxy %ea# of a nose off! The sound of it pa$ting co'pany f$o' his face would %e li#e the c$ac# of
a dead %$anch %$o#en ove$ a %ent #nee!
'2o you hea$ a lot, old*ti'e$B' " as#ed!
'Oh, ayuhC' he said! His lips + da$# as st$ips of live$ + pa$ted in a g$in! His gu's swa$'ed with
white patches! He had a couple of yellow teeth still planted in the top one, and a couple 'o$e on the
%otto'! 'And she gut that little one + cunnin, she isC AyuhC'
'3unnin as a cat a*$unnin,' " ag$eed!
He %lin#ed at 'e, a little su$p$ised to hea$ such an old one out of 'y p$esu'a%ly newfangled
'outh, and then that $ep$ehensi%le g$in widened! 'He$ don't 'ind he$, though,' he said! '.a%y gut
the $un of the place, don'tcha #now!'
" %eca'e awa$e + %ette$ %elated than neve$ + that half a do=en people we$e watching and
listening to us! 'That wasn't 'y i'p$ession,' " said, $aising 'y voice a %it! 'No, that wasn't 'y
i'p$ession at all!'
He only g$inned ! ! ! that old 'an's g$in that says 2h' ayuh' deah= 1 know one worth two of that(
" left the sto$e feeling wo$$ied fo$ attie 2evo$e! Too 'any people we$e 'inding he$ %usiness, it
see'ed to 'e!
(hen " got ho'e, " too# 'y %ottle of wine into the #itchen + it could chill while " got the
%a$%ecue going out on the dec#! " $eached fo$ the f$idge doo$, then paused! 0e$haps as 'any as fou$
do=en little 'agnets had %een scatte$ed $ando'ly ac$oss the f$ont + vegeta%les, f$uits, plastic
lette$s and nu'%e$s, even a good selection of the 3alifo$nia Raisins + %ut they we$en't $ando'
any'o$e! Now they fo$'ed a ci$cle on the f$ont of the $ef$ige$ato$! So'eone had %een in he$e!
So'eone had co'e in and ! ! !
Rea$$anged the 'agnets on the f$idgeB "f so, that was a %u$gla$ who needed to do so'e heavy
$e'edial wo$#! " touched one of the' + ginge$ly, with &ust the tip of 'y finge$! Then, suddenly
ang$y with 'yself, " $eached out and sp$ead the' again, doing it with enough fo$ce to #noc# a
couple to the floo$! " didn't pic# the' up!
That night, %efo$e going to %ed, " placed the e'o*Sc$i%e$ on the ta%le %eneath .unte$ the 5$eat
Stuffed oose, tu$ning it on and putting it in the 2"3TATE 'ode! Then " slipped in one of 'y old
ho'e*du%%ed cassettes, =e$oed the counte$, and went to %ed, whe$e " slept without d$ea's o$ othe$
inte$$uption fo$ eight hou$s!
The next 'o$ning, onday, was the so$t of day the tou$ists co'e to aine fo$ + the ai$ so sunny*
clean that the hills ac$oss the la#e see'ed to %e unde$ su%tle 'agnification! ount (ashington,
New England's highest, floated in the fa$thest distance!
" put on the coffee, then went into the living $oo', whistling! All 'y i'aginings of the last few
days see'ed silly this 'o$ning! Then the whistle died away! The e'o*Sc$i%e$'s counte$, set to
AAA when " went to %ed, was now at A:F!
" $ewound it, hesitated with 'y finge$ ove$ the 08A, %utton, told 'yself -in 6o's voice/ not to %e
a fool, and pushed it!
'2h #ike'' a voice whispe$ed + 'ou$ned, al'ost*on the tape, and " found 'yself having to p$ess
the heel of one hand to 'y 'outh to hold %ac# a sc$ea'! "t was what " had hea$d in 6o's office
when the d$aft $ushed past the sides of 'y face ! ! ! only now the wo$ds we$e slowed down &ust
enough fo$ 'e to unde$stand the'! '2h #ike'' it said again! The$e was a faint clic#! The 'achine
had shut down fo$ so'e length of ti'e! And then, once 'o$e, spo#en in the living $oo' as " had
slept in the no$th wingD '2h #ike('
Then it was gone!
3HA0TER TEN
A$ound nine o'cloc#, a pic#up ca'e down the d$iveway and pa$#ed %ehind 'y 3hev$olet! The
t$uc# was new + a 2odge Ra' so clean and ch$o'e*shiny it loo#ed as if the ten*day plates had
&ust co'e off that 'o$ning + %ut it was the sa'e shade of off*white as the last one and the sign on
the d$ive$'s doo$ was the one " $e'e'%e$edD ("88"A '."88' 2EAN 3A0 3HE31"N5 3ARETA1"N5
8"5HT 3AR0ENTR,, plus his telephone nu'%e$! " went out on the %ac# stoop to 'eet hi', coffee cup
in 'y hand!
'i#eC' .ill c$ied, cli'%ing down f$o' %ehind the wheel! ,an#ee 'en don't hug + that's a
t$uis' you can put $ight up the$e with tough guys don't dance and $eal 'en don't eat )uiche + %ut
.ill pu'ped 'y hand al'ost ha$d enough to slop coffee f$o' a cup that was th$ee*)ua$te$s e'pty,
and gave 'e a hea$ty clap on the %ac#! His g$in $evealed a splendidly %latant set of false teeth +
the #ind which used to %e called Roe%uc#e$s, %ecause you got the' f$o' the catalogue! "t occu$$ed
to 'e in passing that 'y ancient inte$locuto$ f$o' the 8a#eview 5ene$al Sto$e could have used a
pai$! "t ce$tainly would have i'p$oved 'ealti'es fo$ the nosy old fuc#! 'i#e, you'$e a sight fo$
so$e eyesC'
'5ood to see you, too,' " said, g$inning! No$ was it a false g$in7 " felt all $ight! Things with the
powe$ to sca$e the living shit out of you on a thunde$y 'idnight in 'ost cases see' only inte$esting
in the %$ight light of a su''e$ 'o$ning! ',ou'$e loo#ing well, 'y f$iend!'
"t was t$ue! .ill was fou$ yea$s olde$ and a little g$aye$ a$ound the edges, %ut othe$wise the sa'e!
Sixty*fiveB SeventyB "t didn't 'atte$! The$e was no waxy loo# of ill health a%out hi', and none of
the falling*away in the face, p$incipally a$ound the eyes and in the chee#s, that " associate with
enc$oaching infi$'ity!
'So'$e you,' he said, letting go of 'y hand! '(e was all so so$$y a%out 6o, i#e! 9ol#s in town
thought the wo$ld of he$! "t was a shoc#, with he$ so young! y wife as#ed if "'d give you he$
condolences special! 6o 'ade he$ an afghan the yea$ she had the pneu'onia, and ,vette ain't neve$
fo$got it!'
'Than#s,' " said, and 'y voice wasn't )uite 'y own fo$ a 'o'ent o$ two! "t see'ed that on the
TR 'y wife was ha$dly dead at all! 'And than# ,vette, too!'
',uh! Eve$ythin o#ay with the houseB Othe$'n the ai$ conditione$, " 'ean! .ugga$dly thingC
The' at the (este$n Auto p$o'ised 'e that pa$t last wee#, and now they'$e saying 'ay%e not until
August fi$st!'
'"t's o#ay! "'ve got 'y 0owe$%oo#! "f " want to use it, the #itchen ta%le will do fine fo$ a des#!'
And " would want to use it + so 'any c$osswo$ds, so little ti'e!
'5ot you$ hot wate$ o#ayB'
'All that's fine, %ut the$e is one p$o%le'!'
" stopped! How did you tell you$ ca$eta#e$ you thought you$ house was hauntedB 0$o%a%ly the$e
was no good way7 p$o%a%ly the %est thing to do was to go at it head*on! " had )uestions, %ut " didn't
want &ust to ni%%le a$ound the edges of the su%&ect and %e coy! 9o$ one thing, .ill would sense it!
He 'ight have %ought his false teeth out of a catalogue, %ut he wasn't stupid!
'(hat's on you$ 'ind, i#eB Shoot!'
'" don't #now how you'$e going to ta#e this, %ut + '
He s'iled in the way of a 'an who suddenly unde$stands and held up his hand! '5uess 'ay%e "
#now al$eady!'
',ou doB' " felt an eno$'ous sense of $elief and " could ha$dly wait to find out what he had
expe$ienced in Sa$a, pe$haps while chec#ing fo$ dead light%ul%s o$ 'a#ing su$e the $oof was
holding the snow all $ight! '(hat did you hea$B'
'ostly what Royce e$$ill and 2ic#ie .$oo#s have %een telling,' he said! '.eyond that, " don't
#now 'uch! e and 'othe$'s %een in 4i$ginia, $e'e'%e$! Only got %ac# last night a$ound eight
o'cloc#! Still, it's the %ig topic down to the sto$e!'
9o$ a 'o'ent " $e'ained so fixed on Sa$a 8aughs that " had no idea what he was tal#ing a%out!
All " could thin# was that fol#s we$e gossiping a%out the st$ange noises in 'y house! Then the
na'e Royce e$$ill clic#ed and eve$ything else clic#ed with it! e$$ill was the elde$ly possu'
with the gold*headed cane and the salacious win#! Old 9ou$*Teeth! y ca$eta#e$ wasn't tal#ing
a%out ghostly noises7 he was tal#ing a%out attie 2evo$e!
'8et's get you a cup of coffee,' " said! '" need you to tell 'e what "'' stepping in he$e!'
(hen we we$e seated on the dec#, 'e with f$esh coffee and .ill with a cup of tea -'3offee %u$ns
'e at %oth ends these days,' he said/, " as#ed hi' fi$st to tell 'e the Royce e$$ill*2ic#ie .$oo#s
ve$sion of 'y encounte$ with attie and 1y$a!
"t tu$ned out to %e %ette$ than " had expected! .oth old 'en had seen 'e standing at the side of
the $oad with the little gi$l in 'y a$'s, and they had o%se$ved 'y 3hevy pa$#ed halfway into the
ditch with the d$ive$'s*side doo$ open, %ut appa$ently neithe$ of the' had seen 1y$a using the white
line of Route L? as a tight$ope! As if to co'pensate fo$ this, howeve$, Royce clai'ed that attie
had given 'e a %ig my hero hug and a #iss on the 'outh!
'2id he get the pa$t a%out how " g$a%%ed he$ %y the ass and slipped he$ so'e tongueB' " as#ed!
.ill g$inned! 'Royce's i'agination ain't st$etched that fa$ since he was fifty o$ so, and that was
fo$ty o$ 'o$e yea$ ago!'
'" neve$ touched he$!' (ell ! ! ! the$e had %een that 'o'ent when the %ac# of 'y hand went
sliding along the cu$ve of he$ %$east, %ut that had %een inadve$tent, whateve$ the young lady he$self
'ight thin# a%out it!
'Shite, you don't need to tell 'e that,' he said! 'But ( ( ( '
He said that but the way 'y 'othe$ always had, letting it t$ail off on its own, li#e the tail of
so'e ill*o'ened #ite!
'.ut whatB'
',ou'd do well to #eep you$ distance f$o' he$,' he said! 'She's nice enough + al'ost a town gi$l,
don't you #now + %ut she's t$ou%le!' He paused! 'No, that ain't )uite fai$ to he$! She's in t$ou%le!'
'The old 'an wants custody of the %a%y, doesn't heB'
.ill set his teacup down on the dec# $ail and loo#ed at 'e with his eye%$ows $aised! Reflections
f$o' the la#e $an up his chee# in $ipples, giving hi' an exotic loo#! 'How'd you #nowB'
'5uesswo$#, %ut of the educated va$iety! He$ fathe$*in*law called 'e Satu$day night du$ing the
fi$ewo$#s! And while he neve$ ca'e $ight out and stated his pu$pose, " dou%t if ax 2evo$e ca'e
all the way %ac# to TR*;A in weste$n aine to $epo his daughte$*in*law's 6eep and t$aile$! So what's
the sto$y, .illB'
9o$ seve$al 'o'ents he only loo#ed at 'e! "t was al'ost the loo# of a 'an who #nows you have
cont$acted a se$ious disease and isn't su$e how 'uch he ought to tell you! .eing loo#ed at that way
'ade 'e p$ofoundly uneasy! "t also 'ade 'e feel that " 'ight %e putting .ill 2ean on the spot!
2evo$e had $oots he$e, afte$ all! And, as 'uch as .ill 'ight li#e 'e, " didn't! 6o and " we$e f$o'
away! "t could have %een wo$se + it could have %een assachusetts o$ New ,o$# + %ut 2e$$y,
although in aine, was still away!
'.illB " could use a little navigational help if you + '
',ou want to stay out of his way,' he said! His easy s'ile was gone! 'The 'an's 'ad!'
9o$ a 'o'ent " thought .ill only 'eant 2evo$e was pissed off at 'e, and then " too# anothe$
loo# at his face! No, " decided, he didn't 'ean pissed off7 he had used the wo$d ''ad' in the 'ost
lite$al way!
'ad howB' " as#ed! 'ad li#e 3ha$les ansonB 8i#e Hanni%al 8ecte$B HowB'
'Say li#e Howa$d Hughes,' he said! 'Eve$ $ead any of the sto$ies a%out hi'B The lengths he'd go
to to get the things he wantedB "t didn't 'atte$ if it was a special #ind of hot dog they only sold in
8!A! o$ an ai$plane designe$ he wanted to steal f$o' 8oc#heed o$ cdonnell*2ouglas, he had to
have what he wanted, and he wouldn't $est until it was unde$ his hand! 2evo$e is the sa'e way! He
always was + even as a %oy he was willful, acco$ding to the sto$ies you hea$ in town!
'y own dad had one he used to tell! He said little ax 2evo$e %$o#e into Scant 8a$$i%ee's tac#*
shed one winte$ %ecause he wanted the 9lexi%le 9lye$ Scant give his %oy Scoote$ fo$ 3h$ist'as!
.ac# a$ound :;FG, this would have %een! 2evo$e cut %oth his hands on %$o#en glass, 2ad said, %ut
he got the sled! They found hi' nea$ 'idnight, sliding down Suga$ aple Hill, holding his hands
up to his chest when he went down! He'd %led all ove$ his 'ittens and his snowsuit! The$e's othe$
sto$ies you'll hea$ a%out axie 2evo$e as a #id + if you as# you'll hea$ fifty diffe$ent ones + and
so'e 'ay even %e t$ue! That one a%out the sled is t$ue, though! "'d %et the fa$' on it! .ecause 'y
fathe$ didn't lie! "t was against his $eligion!'
'.aptistB'
'Nosi$, ,an#ee!'
':;FG was 'any 'oons ago, .ill! So'eti'es people change!'
'Ayuh, %ut 'ostly they don't! " haven't seen 2evo$e since he co'e %ac# and 'oved into
(a$$ington's, so " can't say fo$ su$e, %ut "'ve hea$d things that 'a#e 'e thin# that if he has
changed, it's fo$ the wo$se! He didn't co'e all the way ac$oss the count$y 'cause he wanted a
vacation! He wants the kid! To hi' she's &ust anothe$ ve$sion of Scoote$ 8a$$i%ee's 9lexi%le 9lye$!
And 'y st$ong advice to you is that you don't want to %e the window*glass %etween hi' and he$!'
" sipped 'y coffee and loo#ed out at the la#e! .ill gave 'e ti'e to thin#, sc$aping one of his
wo$#%oots ac$oss a splatte$ of %i$dshit on the %oa$ds while " did it! 3$owshit, " $ec#oned7 only
c$ows c$ap in such long and exu%e$ant splatte$s!
One thing see'ed a%solutely su$eD attie 2evo$e was $oughly nine 'iles up Shit 3$ee# with no
paddle! "'' not the cynic " was at twenty + is anyoneB + %ut " wasn't naive enough o$ idealistic
enough to %elieve the law would p$otect s! 2ou%lewide against $! 3o'pute$ ! ! ! not if $!
3o'pute$ decided to play di$ty! As a %oy he'd ta#en the sled he wanted and gone sliding %y hi'self
at 'idnight, %leeding hands not a conce$n! And as a 'anB An old 'an who had %een getting eve$y
sled he wanted fo$ the last fo$ty yea$s o$ soB
'(hat's the sto$y with attie, .illB Tell 'e!'
"t didn't ta#e hi' long! 3ount$y sto$ies a$e, %y and la$ge, si'ple sto$ies! (hich isn't to say they'$e
not often inte$esting!
attie 2evo$e had sta$ted life as attie Stanchfield, not )uite f$o' the TR %ut f$o' &ust ove$ the
line in otton! He$ fathe$ had %een a logge$, he$ 'othe$ a ho'e %eautician -which 'ade it, in a
ghastly way, the pe$fect count$y 'a$$iage/! The$e we$e th$ee #ids! (hen 2ave Stanch*field 'issed
a cu$ve ove$ in 8ovell and d$ove a fully loaded pulpt$uc# into 1ewadin 0ond, his widow '#inda lost
hea$t,' as they say! She died soon afte$! The$e had %een no insu$ance, othe$ than what Stanchfield
had %een o%liged to ca$$y on his 6i''y and his s#idde$!
Tal# a%out you$ .$othe$s 5$i'', huhB Su%t$act the 9ishe$*0$ice toys %ehind the house, the two
pole hai$d$ye$s in the %ase'ent %eauty salon, the old $ust%uc#et Toyota in the d$iveway, and you
we$e $ight the$eD 2nce upon a time there li&ed a poor widow and her three children(
attie is the p$incess of the piece + poo$ %ut %eautiful -that she was %eautiful " could pe$sonally
testify/! Now ente$ the p$ince! "n this case he's a gangly stutte$ing $edhead na'ed 8ance 2evo$e!
The child of ax 2evo$e's sunset yea$s! (hen 8ance 'et attie, he was twenty*one! She had &ust
tu$ned seventeen! The 'eeting too# place at (a$$ington's, whe$e attie had landed a su''e$ &o%
as a wait$ess!
8ance 2evo$e was staying ac$oss the la#e on the Uppe$ .ay, %ut on Tuesday nights the$e we$e
pic#up soft%all ga'es at (a$$ington's, the townies against the su''e$ fol#s, and he usually canoed
ac$oss to play! Soft%all is a g$eat thing fo$ the 8ance 2evo$es of the wo$ld7 when you'$e standing at
the plate with a %at in you$ hands, it doesn't 'atte$ if you'$e gangly! And it su$e doesn't 'atte$ if
you stutte$!
'He confused e' )uite conside$a%le ove$ to (a$$ington's,' .ill said! 'They didn't #now which
tea' he %elonged on + the 8ocals o$ the Aways! 8ance didn't ca$e7 eithe$ side was fine with hi'!
So'e wee#s he'd play fo$ one, so'e wee#s t'othe$! Eithe$ one was 'o$e than happy to have hi',
too, as he could hit a ton and field li#e an angel! They'd put hi' at fi$st %ase a lot %ecause he was
tall, %ut he was $eally wasted the$e! At second o$ sho$tstop ! ! ! 'yC He'd &u'p and twi$l a$ound li#e
that guy No$iega!'
',ou 'ight 'ean Nu$eyev,' " said!
He sh$ugged! '0oint is, he was so'ethin to see! And fol#s li#ed hi'! He fit in! "t's 'ostly young
fol#s that play, you #now, and to the' it's how you do, not who you a$e! .esides, a lot of e' don't
#now ax 2evo$e f$o' a hole in the g$ound!'
'Unless they $ead "he Wall Street 0ournal and the co'pute$ 'aga=ines,'' " said! '"n those, you $un
ac$oss the na'e 2evo$e a%out as often as you $un ac$oss the na'e of 5od in the .i%le!'
'No foolinB'
'(ell, " guess that in the co'pute$ 'aga=ines 5od is 'o$e often spelled 5ates, %ut you #now
what " 'ean!'
'" s'pose! .ut even so, it's %een sixty*five yea$s since ax 2evo$e spent any $eal ti'e on the TR!
,ou #now what happened when he left, don't youB'
'No, why would "B'
He loo#ed at 'e, su$p$ised! Then a #ind of veil see'ed to fall ove$ his eyes! He %lin#ed and it
clea$ed! 'Tell you anothe$ ti'e + it ain't no sec$et + %ut " need to %e ove$ to the Ha$$i'ans' %y
eleven to chec# thei$ su'p*pu'p! 2on't want to get sidet$ac#ed! 0oint " was t$yin to 'a#e is &ust
thisD 8ance 2evo$e was accepted as a nice young fella who could hit a soft%all th$ee hund$ed and
fifty feet into the t$ees if he st$uc# it &ust $ight! The$e was no one old enough to hold his old 'an
against hi' + not at (a$$ington's on Tuesday nights, the$e wasn't + and no one held it against
hi' that his fa'ily had dough, eithe$! Hell, the$e a$e lots of wealthy people he$e in the su''e$!
,ou #now that! None wo$th as 'uch as ax 2evo$e, %ut %eing $ich is only a 'atte$ of deg$ee!'
That wasn't t$ue, and " had &ust enough 'oney to #now it! (ealth is li#e the Richte$ scale*once
you pass a ce$tain point, the &u'ps f$o' one level to the next a$en't dou%le o$ t$iple %ut so'e
a'a=ing and $uinous 'ultiple you don't even want to thin# a%out! 9it=ge$ald had it st$aight,
although " guess he didn't %elieve his own insightD the ve$y $ich a$e diffe$ent f$o' you and 'e! "
thought of telling .ill that, and decided to #eep 'y 'outh shut! He had a su'p*pu'p to fix!
1y$a's pa$ents 'et ove$ a #eg of %ee$ stuc# in a 'udhole! attie was $unning the usual Tuesday*
night #eg out to the soft%all field f$o' the 'ain %uilding on a handca$t! She'd gotten it 'ost of the
way f$o' the $estau$ant wing with no t$ou%le, %ut the$e had %een heavy $ain ea$lie$ in the wee#,
and the ca$t finally %ogged down in a soft spot! 8ance's tea' was up, and 8ance was sitting at the
end of the %ench, waiting his tu$n to hit! He saw the gi$l in the white sho$ts and %lue (a$$ington's
polo shi$t st$uggling with the %ogged handca$t, and got up to help he$! Th$ee wee#s late$ they we$e
insepa$a%le and attie was p$egnant7 ten wee#s late$ they we$e 'a$$ied7 thi$ty*seven 'onths late$,
8ance 2evo$e was in a coffin, done with soft%all and cold %ee$ on a su''e$ evening, done with
what he called 'woodsing,' done with fathe$hood, done with love fo$ the %eautiful p$incess! 6ust
anothe$ ea$ly finish, hold the happily*eve$*afte$!
.ill 2ean didn't desc$i%e thei$ 'eeting in any detail7 he only said, 'They 'et at the field + she
was $unnin out the %ee$ and he helped he$ out of a %oghole when she got he$ handca$t stuc#!'
attie neve$ said 'uch a%out that pa$t of it, so " don't #now 'uch! Except " do ! ! ! and although
so'e of the details 'ight %e w$ong, "'d %et you a dolla$ to a hund$ed : got 'ost of the' $ight! That
was 'y su''e$ fo$ #nowing things " had no %usiness #nowing!
"t's hot, fo$ one thing + ';< is the hottest su''e$ of the decade and 6uly is the hottest 'onth of
the su''e$! 0$esident 3linton is %eing upstaged %y Newt and the Repu%licans! 9ol#s a$e saying old
Slic# (illie 'ay not even $un fo$ a second te$'! .o$is ,eltsin is $eputed to %e eithe$ dying of hea$t
disease o$ in a d$y*out clinic! The Red Sox a$e loo#ing %ette$ than they have any $ight to! "n 2e$$y,
6ohanna A$len Noonan is 'ay%e sta$ting to feel a little whoopsy in the 'o$ning! "f so, she does not
spea# of it to he$ hus%and!
" see attie in he$ %lue polo shi$t with he$ na'e sewn in white sc$ipt a%ove he$ left %$east! He$
white sho$ts 'a#e a pleasing cont$ast to he$ tanned legs! " also see he$ wea$ing a %lue gi''e cap
with the $ed W fo$ (a$$ington's a%ove the long %ill! He$ p$etty da$#*%londe hai$ is pulled th$ough
the hole at the %ac# of the cap and falls to the colla$ of he$ shi$t! " see he$ t$ying to yan# the
handca$t out of the 'ud without upsetting the #eg of %ee$! He$ head is down7 the shadow th$own %y
the %ill of the cap o%scu$es all of he$ face %ut he$ 'outh and s'all set chin!
'8uh*let '*'e h*h*help,' 8ance says, and she loo#s up! The shadow cast %y the cap's %ill falls
away, he sees he$ %ig %lue eyes + the ones she'll pass on to thei$ daughte$! One loo# into those
eyes and the wa$ is ove$ without a single shot fi$ed7 he %elongs to he$ as su$ely as any young 'an
eve$ %elonged to any young wo'an!
The $est, as they say a$ound he$e, was &ust cou$tin!
The old 'an had th$ee child$en, %ut 8ance was the only one he see'ed to ca$e a%out!
-'2aughte$'s c$a=ie$'n a shithouse 'ouse,' .ill said 'atte$*of*factly! '"n so'e laughin acade'y in
3alifo$nia! Thin# " hea$d she caught he$ a cance$, too!'/ The fact that 8ance had no inte$est in
co'pute$s and softwa$e actually see'ed to please his fathe$! He had anothe$ son who was capa%le
of $unning the %usiness! "n anothe$ way, howeve$, 8ance 2evo$e's olde$ half*%$othe$ wasn't capa%le
at allD the$e would %e no g$andchild$en f$o' that one!
'Ru'p*w$angle$,' .ill said! 'Unde$stand the$e's a lot of that going a$ound out the$e in 3alifo$nia!'
The$e was a fai$ a'ount of it going a$ound on the TR, too, " i'agined, %ut thought it not 'y
place to offe$ sexual inst$uction to 'y ca$eta#e$!
8ance 2evo$e had %een attending Reed 3ollege in O$egon, 'a&o$ing in fo$est$y + the #ind of
guy who falls in love with g$een flannel pants, $ed suspende$s, and the sight of condo$s at dawn! A
.$othe$s 5$i'' woodcutte$, in fact, once you got past the acade'ic &a$gon! "n the su''e$
%etween his &unio$ and senio$ yea$s, his fathe$ had su''oned hi' to the fa'ily co'pound in 0al'
Sp$ings, and had p$esented hi' with a %oxy lawye$'s suitcase c$a''ed with 'aps, ae$ial photos,
and legal pape$s! These had little o$de$ that 8ance could see, %ut " dou%t that he ca$ed! "'agine a
co'ic*%oo# collecto$ given a c$ate c$a''ed with $a$e old copies of Donald Duck! "'agine a 'ovie
collecto$ given the $ough cut of a neve$*$eleased fil' sta$$ing Hu'ph$ey .oga$t and a$ilyn
on$oe! Then i'agine this avid young fo$este$ $eali=ing that his fathe$ owned not &ust ac$es o$
s)ua$e 'iles in the vast uninco$po$ated fo$ests of weste$n aine, %ut enti$e realms!
Although ax 2evo$e had left the TR in :;GG, he'd #ept a lively inte$est in the a$ea whe$e he'd
g$own up, su%sc$i%ing to a$ea newspape$s and getting 'aga=ines such as Down 4ast and the #aine
"imes! "n the ea$ly eighties, he had %egun to %uy long colu'ns of land &ust east of the aine*New
Ha'pshi$e %o$de$! 5od #new the$e had %een plenty fo$ sale7 the pape$ co'panies which owned
'ost of it had fallen into a $ecessiona$y pit, and 'any had %eco'e convinced that thei$ New
England holdings and ope$ations would %e the %est place to %egin $et$enching! So this land, stolen
f$o' the "ndians and clea$*cut $uthlessly in the twenties and fifties, ca'e into ax 2evo$e's hands!
He 'ight have %ought it &ust %ecause it was the$e, a good %a$gain he could affo$d to ta#e advantage
of! He 'ight have %ought it as a way of de'onst$ating to hi'self that he had $eally su$vived his
childhood7 had, in point of fact, t$iu'phed ove$ it!
O$ he 'ight have %ought it as a toy fo$ his %eloved younge$ son! "n the yea$s when 2evo$e was
'a#ing his 'a&o$ land pu$chases in weste$n aine, 8ance would have %een &ust a #id ! ! ! %ut old
enough fo$ a pe$ceptive fathe$ to see whe$e his inte$ests we$e tending!
2evo$e as#ed 8ance to spend the su''e$ of :;;< su$veying pu$chases which we$e, fo$ the 'ost
pa$t, al$eady ten yea$s old! He wanted the %oy to put the pape$wo$# in o$de$, %ut he wanted 'o$e
than that + he wanted 8ance to 'a#e sense of it! "t wasn't a land*use $eco''endation he was
loo#ing fo$, exactly, although " guess he would have listened if 8ance had wanted to 'a#e one7 he
si'ply wanted a sense of what he had pu$chased! (ould 8ance ta#e a su''e$ in weste$n aine
t$ying to find out what his sense of it wasB At a sala$y of two o$ th$ee thousand dolla$s a 'onthB
" i'agine 8ance's $eply was a 'o$e polite ve$sion of .uddy 6ellison's '2oes a c$ow shit in the
pine topsB'
The #id a$$ived in 6une of :;;< and set up shop in a tent on the fa$ side of 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e! He
was due %ac# at Reed in late August! "nstead, though, he decided to ta#e a yea$'s leave of a%sence!
His fathe$ wasn't pleased! His fathe$ s'elled what he called 'gi$l t$ou%le!'
',eah, %ut it's a da'ned long sniff f$o' 3alifo$nia to aine,' .ill 2ean said, leaning against the
d$ive$'s doo$ of his t$uc# with his sun%u$ned a$'s folded! 'He had so'eone a lot close$ than 0al'
Sp$ings doin his sniffin fo$ hi'!'
'(hat a$e you tal#ing a%outB' " as#ed!
''.out talk! 0eople do it fo$ f$ee, and 'ost a$e willing to do even 'o$e if they'$e paid!'
'0eople li#e Royce e$$illB'
'Royce 'ight %e one,' he ag$eed, '%ut he wouldn't %e the only one! Ti'es a$ound he$e don't go
%etween %ad and good7 if you'$e a local, they 'ostly go %etween %ad and wo$se! So when a guy li#e
ax 2evo$e sends a guy out with a supply of fifty* and hund$ed*dolla$ %ills ! ! ! '
'(as it so'eone localB A lawye$B'
Not a lawye$7 a $eal*estate %$o#e$ na'ed Richa$d Osgood -'a g$easy #ind of fella' was .ill 2ean's
&udg'ent of hi'/ who denned and did %usiness in otton! Eventually Osgood had hi$ed a lawye$
f$o' 3astle Roc#! The g$easy fella's initial &o%, when the su''e$ of ';< ended and 8ance 2evo$e
$e'ained on the TR, was to find out what the hell was going on and put a stop to it!
'And thenB' " as#ed!
.ill glanced at his watch, glanced at the s#y, then cente$ed his ga=e on 'e! He gave a funny little
sh$ug, as if to say, '(e'$e %oth 'en of the wo$ld, in a )uiet and settled so$t of way + you don't
need to as# a silly )uestion li#e that!'
'Then 8ance 2evo$e and attie Stanchfield got 'a$$ied in the 5$ace .aptist 3hu$ch $ight up
the$e on Highway L?! The$e we$e tales 'ade the $ounds a%out what Osgood 'ight've done to #eep
it f$o' co'in off + " hea$d he even t$ied to %$i%e Reve$end 5ooch into $efusin to hitch e', %ut "
thin# that's stupid, they &ust would have gone so'eplace else! 'Sides, " don't see 'uch sense in
$epeating what " don't #now fo$ su$e!'
.ill unfolded an a$' and %egan to tic# ite's off on the leathe$y finge$s of his $ight hand!
'They got 'a$$ied in the 'iddle of Septe'%e$, :;;<, " #now that!' Out popped the thu'%! '0eople
loo#ed a$ound with so'e cu$iosity to see if the g$oo''s fathe$ would put in an appea$ance, %ut he
neve$ did!' Out popped the fo$efinge$! Added to the thu'%, it 'ade a pistol! 'attie had a %a%y in
Ap$il of ';@, 'a#ing the #iddie a dight p$e'atu$e ! ! ! %ut not enough to 'atte$! " seen it in the sto$e
with 'y own eyes when it wasn't a wee# old, and it was &ust the $ight si=e!' Out with the second
finge$! '" don't #now that 8ance 2evo$e's old 'an a%solutely $efused to help e' financially, %ut " do
#now they we$e living in that t$aile$ down %elow 2ic#ie's 5a$age, and that 'a#es 'e thin# they
we$e havin a p$etty ha$d s#ate!'
'2evo$e put on the cho#e*chain,' " said! '"t's what a guy used to getting his own way would do ! ! !
%ut if he loved the %oy the way you see' to thin#, he 'ight have co'e a$ound!'
'ay%e, 'ay%e not!' He glanced at his watch again! '8et 'e finish up )uic# and get out of you$
sunshine ! ! ! %ut you ought to hea$ one 'o$e little sto$y, %ecause it $eally shows how the land lies!
'"n 6uly of last yea$, less'n a 'onth %efo$e he died, 8ance 2evo$e shows up at the post*office
counte$ in the 8a#eview 5ene$al! He's got a 'anila envelope he wants to send, %ut fi$st he needs to
show 3a$la 2e3inces what's inside! She said he was all fluffed out, li#e daddies so'eti'es get
ove$ thei$ #ids when they'$e s'all!'
" nodded, a'used at the idea of s#inny, stutte$y 8ance 2evo$e all fluffed out! .ut " could see it in
'y 'ind's eye, and the i'age was also so$t of sweet!
'"t was a studio pitche$ they'd gotten ta#en ove$ in the Roc#! Showed the #id ! ! ! what's he$
na'eB 1aylaB'
'1y$a!'
'Ayuh, they call e' anything these days, don't theyB "t showed 1y$a sittin in a %ig leathe$ chai$,
with a pai$ of &o#e spectacles on he$ little snu% of a nose, loo#in at one of the ae$ial photos of the
woods ove$ ac$oss the la#e in TR*:AA o$ TR*::A + pa$t of what the old 'an had pic#ed up,
anyway! 3a$la said the %a%y had a su$p$ised loo# on he$ face, as if she hadn't suspected the$e could
%e so 'uch woods in the whole wo$ld! Said it was awful cunnin, she did!'
'3unnin as a cat a*$unnin,' " 'u$'u$ed!
'And the envelope + Registe$ed, Exp$ess ail was add$essed to axwell 2evo$e, in 0al'
Sp$ings, 3alifo$nia!'
'8eading you to deduce that the old 'an eithe$ thawed enough to as# fo$ a pictu$e of his only
g$andchild, o$ that 8ance 2evo$e thought a pictu$e might thaw hi'!'
.ill nodded, loo#ing as pleased as a pa$ent whose child has 'anaged a difficult su'! '2on't
#now if it did,' he said! '(asn't enough ti'e to tell, one way o$ the othe$! 8ance had %ought one of
those little satellite dishes, li#e what you've got he$e! The$e was a %ad sto$' the day he put it up +
hail, high wind, %lowdowns along the la#esho$e, lots of lightnin! That was along towa$d evening!
8ance put his dish up in the afte$noon, all done and safe, except a$ound the ti'e the sto$'
co''enced he $e'e'%e$ed he'd left his soc#et w$ench on the t$aile$ $oof! He went up to get it so it
wouldn't get all wet n $usty + '
'He was st$uc# %y lightningB 6esus, .illC'
'8ightnin st$uc#, all $ight, %ut it hit ac$oss the way! ,ou go past the place whe$e (asp Hill Road
$uns into L? and you'll see the stu'p of the t$ee that st$o#e #noc#ed ove$! 8ance was co'in down
the ladde$ with his soc#et w$ench when it hit! "f you've neve$ had a lightnin %olt tea$ $ight ove$
you$ head, you don't #now how sca$y it is + it's li#e havin a d$un# d$ive$ vee$ ac$oss into you$
lane, headed $ight fo$ you, and then swing %ac# onto his own side &ust in ti'e! 3lose lightnin 'a#es
you$ hai$ stand up + 'a#es you$ da'ned prick stand up! "t's apt to play the $adio on you$ steel
fillins, it 'a#es you$ ea$s hu', and it 'a#es the ai$ taste $oasted! 8ance fell off the ladde$! "f he had
ti'e to thin# anything %efo$e he hit the g$ound, " %et he thought he was elect$ocuted! 0oo$ %oy! He
loved the TR, %ut it wasn't luc#y fo$ hi'!'
'.$o#e his nec#B'
'Ayuh! (ith all the thunde$, attie neve$ hea$d hi' fall o$ yell o$ anything! She loo#ed out a
'inute o$ two late$ when it sta$ted to hail and he still wasn't in! And the$e he was, layin on the
g$ound and loo#in up into the f$iggin hail with his eyes open!'
.ill loo#ed at his watch one final ti'e, then swung open the doo$ to his t$uc#! 'The old 'an
wouldn't co'e fo$ thei$ weddin, %ut he ca'e fo$ his son's fune$al and he's %een he$e eve$ since! He
didn't want nawthin to do with the young wo'an + '
'.ut he wants the #id,' " said! "t was no 'o$e than what " al$eady #new, %ut " felt a sin#ing in the
pit of 'y sto'ach &ust the sa'e! Don't talk about this, attie had as#ed 'e on the 'o$ning of the
9ou$th! 1t's not a good time for @i and me( 'How fa$ along in the p$ocess has he gottenB'
'On the thi$d tu$n and headin into the ho'e st$etch, " sh'd say! The$e'll %e a hea$in in 3astle
3ounty Supe$io$ 3ou$t, 'ay%e late$ this 'onth, 'ay%e next! The &udge could $ule then to hand the
gi$l ove$, o$ put it off until fall! " don't thin# it 'atte$s which, %ecause the one thing that's neve$
going to happen on 5od's g$een ea$th is a $ulin in favo$ of the 'othe$! One way o$ anothe$, that
little gi$l is going to g$ow up in 3alifo$nia!''
0ut that way, it gave 'e a ve$y nasty little chill!
.ill slid %ehind the wheel of his t$uc#! 'Stay out of it, i#e,' he said! 'Stay away f$o' attie
2evo$e and he$ daughte$! And if you get called to cou$t on account of see' the two of e' on
Satu$day, s'ile a lot and say as little as you can!'
'ax 2evo$e's cha$ging that she's unfit to $aise the child!'
'Ayuh!'
'.ill, " saw the child, and she's fine!'
He g$inned again, %ut this ti'e the$e was no a'use'ent in it! ''agine she is! .ut that's not the
point! Stay clea$ of thei$ %usiness, old %oy! "t's 'y &o% to tell you that7 with 6o gone, " guess "'' the
only ca$eta#e$ you got!' He sla''ed the doo$ of his Ra', sta$ted the engine, $eached fo$ the
gea$shift, then d$opped his hand again as so'ething else occu$$ed to hi'! '"f you get a chance, you
ought to loo# fo$ the owls!'
'(hat owlsB'
'The$e's a couple of plastic owls a$ound he$e so'eplace! They 'ight %e in y'%ase'ent o$ out in
6o's studio! They co'e in %y 'ail*o$de$ the fall %efo$e she passed on!'
'The fall of :;;GB'
'Ayuh!'
'That can't %e $ight!' (e hadn't used Sa$a in the fall of :;;G!
''Tis, though! " was down he$e puttin on the sto$' doo$s when 6o showed up! (e had us a natte$,
and then the U0S t$uc# co'e! " lugged the %ox into the ent$y and had a coffee + " was still d$in#in
it then + while she too# the owls out of the ca$ton and showed e' off to 'e! 5o$$y, %ut they
loo#ed $ealC She left not ten 'inutes afte$! "t was li#e she'd co'e down to do that e$$and special,
although why anyone'd d$ive all the way f$o' 2e$$y to ta#e delive$y of a couple of plastic owls "
don't #now!'
'(hen in the fall was it, .illB 2o you $e'e'%e$B'
'Second wee# of Nove'%e$,' he said p$o'ptly! 'e n the wife went up to 8ewiston late$ that
afte$noon, to '4ette's siste$'s! "t was he$ %i$thday! On ou$ way %ac# we stopped at the 3astle Roc#
Agway so '4ette could get he$ Than#sgiving tu$#ey!' He loo#ed at 'e cu$iously! ',ou $eally didn't
#now a%out the' owlsB'
'No!'
'That's a touch peculia$, wouldn't you sayB'
'ay%e she told 'e and " fo$got,' " said! '" guess it doesn't 'atte$ 'uch now in any case!' ,et it
see'ed to 'atte$! "t was a s'all thing, %ut it see'ed to 'atte$! '(hy would 6o want a couple of
plastic owls to %egin withB'
'To #eep the c$ows f$o' shittin up the woodwo$#, li#e they'$e doing out on you$ dec#! 3$ows see
those plastic owls, they vee$ off!'
" %u$st out laughing in spite of 'y pu==le'ent ! ! ! o$ pe$haps %ecause of it! ',eahB That $eally
wo$#sB'
'Ayuh, long's you 'ove e' eve$y now and then so the c$ows don't get suspicious! 3$ows a$e &ust
a%out the s'a$test %i$ds going, you #now! ,ou loo# fo$ those owls, save you$self a lot of 'ess!'
'" will,' " said! 0lastic owls to sca$e the c$ows away + it was exactly the so$t of #nowledge 6o
would co'e %y -she was li#e a c$ow he$self in that way, pic#ing up glitte$y pieces of info$'ation
that happened to catch he$ inte$est/ and act upon without %othe$ing to tell 'e! All at once " was
lonely fo$ he$ again + 'issing he$ li#e hell!
'5ood! So'e day when "'ve got 'o$e ti'e, we'll wal# the place all the way a$ound! (oods too, if
you want! " thin# you'll %e satisfied!'
'"'' su$e " will! (he$e's 2evo$e stayingB'
The %ushy eye%$ows went up! '(a$$ington's! Hi' and you's p$actically neigh%o$s! " thought you
'ust #now!'
" $e'e'%e$ed the wo'an "'d seen + %lac# %athing*suit and %lac# sho$ts so'ehow co'%ining to
give he$ an exotic coc#tail*pa$ty loo# + and nodded! '" 'et his wife!'
.ill laughed hea$tily enough at that to feel in need of his hand#e$chief! He fished it off the
dash%oa$d -a %lue paisley thing the si=e of a foot%all pennant/ and wiped his eyes!
'(hat's so funnyB' " as#ed!
'S#inny wo'anB (hite hai$B 9ace so$t of li#e a #id's Halloween 'as#B'
"t was 'y tu$n to laugh! 'That's he$!'
'She ain't his wife, she's his whatdoyoucallit, pe$sonal assistant! Rogette (hit'o$e is he$ na'e!'
He p$onounced it $o*5ET, with a ha$d -! '2evo$e's wives'$e all dead! The last one twenty yea$s!'
'(hat #ind of na'e is RogetteB 9$enchB'
'3alifo$nia,' he said, and sh$ugged as if that one wo$d explained eve$ything! 'The$e's people in
town sca$ed of he$!'
'"s that soB'
'Ayuh!' .ill hesitated, then added with one of those s'iles we put on when we want othe$s to
#now that we #now we'$e saying so'ething sillyD '.$enda ese$ve says she's a witch!'
'And the two of the' have %een staying at (a$$ington's al'ost a yea$B'
'Ayuh! The (hit'o$e wo'an co'es n goes, %ut 'ostly she's %een he$e! Thin#in in town is that
they'll stay until the custody case is finished off, then all go %ac# to 3alifo$nia on 2evo$e's p$ivate
&et! 8eave Osgood to sell (a$$ington's, and + '
'Sell itB (hat do you 'ean, sell itB'
'" thought you 'ust #now,' .ill said, d$opping his gea$shift into d$ive! '(hen old Hugh E'e$son
told 2evo$e they closed the lodge afte$ Than#sgiving, 2evo$e told hi' he had no intention of
'oving! Said he was co'fo$ta%le $ight whe$e he was and 'eant to stay put!'
'He %ought the place!' " had %een %y tu$ns su$p$ised, a'used, and ange$ed ove$ the last twenty
'inutes, %ut neve$ exactly du'%founded! Now " was! 'He %ought (a$$ington's 8odge so he
wouldn't have to 'ove to 8oo#out Roc# Hotel ove$ in 3astle 4iew, o$ $ent a house!'
'Ayuh, so he did! Nine %uildins, includin the 'ain lodge and The Sunset .a$7 twelve ac$es of
woods, a six*hole golf cou$se, and five hund$ed feet of sho$ef$ont on The St$eet! 0lus a two*lane
%owlin alley and a soft%all field! 9ou$ and a )ua$te$ 'illion! His f$iend Osgood did the deal and
2evo$e paid with a pe$sonal chec#! " wonde$ how he found $oo' fo$ all those =e$os! See you,
i#e!'
(ith that he %ac#ed up the d$iveway, leaving 'e to stand on the stoop, loo#ing afte$ hi' with
'y 'outh open!
0lastic owls!
.ill had told 'e $oughly two do=en inte$esting things in %etween pee#s at his watch, %ut the one
which stayed on top of the pile was the fact -and " did accept it as a fact7 he had %een too positive
fo$ 'e not to/ that 6o had co'e down he$e to ta#e delive$y on a couple of plastic godda' owls!
Had she told 'eB
She 'ight have! " didn't $e'e'%e$ he$ doing so, and it see'ed to 'e that " would have, %ut 6o
used to clai' that when " got in the =one it was no good to tell 'e anything7 stuff went in one ea$
and out the othe$! So'eti'es she'd pin little notes + e$$ands to $un, calls to 'a#e + to 'y shi$t, as
if " we$e a fi$st*g$ade$! .ut wouldn't " $ecall if she'd said '"'' going down to Sa$a, hon, U0S is
delive$ing so'ething " want to $eceive pe$sonally, inte$ested in #eeping a lady co'panyB' Hell
wouldn't " have goneB " always li#ed an excuse to go to the TR! Except "'d %een wo$#ing on that
sc$eenplay ! ! ! and 'ay%e pushing it a little ! ! ! notes pinned to the sleeve of 'y shi$t ! ! ! 1f you go
out when you're finished' we need milk and orange )uice ( ( (
" inspected what little was left of 6o's vegeta%le ga$den with the 6uly sun %eating down on 'y
nec# and thought a%out owls, the plastic god*da' owls! Suppose 6o had told 'e she was co'ing
down he$e to Sa$a 8aughsB Suppose " had declined al'ost without hea$ing the offe$ %ecause " was
in the w$iting =oneB Even if you g$anted those things, the$e was anothe$ )uestionD why had she felt
the need to co'e down he$e pe$sonally when she could have &ust called so'eone and as#ed the' to
'eet the delive$y t$uc#B 1enny Auste$ would have %een happy to do it, ditto $s! ! And .ill
2ean, ou$ ca$eta#e$, had actually %een he$e! This led to othe$ )uestions + one was why she hadn't
&ust had U0S delive$ the da'ned things to 2e$$y + and finally " decided " couldn't live without
actually seeing a %ona fide plastic owl fo$ 'yself! ay%e, " thought, going %ac# to the house, "'d
put one on the $oof of 'y 3hew when it was pa$#ed in the d$iveway! 9o$estall futu$e %o'%ing $uns!
" paused in the ent$y, st$uc# %y a sudden idea, and called (a$d Han#ins, the guy in (ate$ville
who handles 'y taxes and 'y few non*w$iting*$elated %usiness affai$s!
'i#e,' he said hea$tily! 'How's the la#eB'
'The la#e's cool and the weathe$'s hot, &ust the way we li#e it,' " said! '(a$d, you #eep all the
$eco$ds we send you fo$ five yea$s, don't youB 6ust in case "RS decides to give us so'e g$iefB'
'9ive is accepted p$actice,' he said, '%ut " hold you$ stuff fo$ seven + in the eyes of the tax %oys,
you'$e a 'ighty fat pigeon!'
Better a fat pigeon than a plastic owl, " thought %ut didn't say! (hat " said was 'That includes
des# calenda$s, $ightB ine and! 6o's, up until she diedB'
',ou %et! Since neithe$ of you #ept dia$ies, it was the %est way to c$oss*$efe$ence $eceipts and
clai'ed expenses with + '
'3ould you find 6o's des# calenda$ fo$ :;;G and see what she had going in the second wee# of
Nove'%e$B'
'Td %e happy to! (hat in pa$ticula$ a$e you loo#ing fo$B'
9o$ a 'o'ent " saw 'yself sitting at 'y #itchen ta%le in 2e$$y on 'y fi$st night as a widowe$,
holding up a %ox with the wo$ds No$co Ho'e 0$egnancy Test p$inted on the side! Exactly what
was " loo#ing fo$ at this late dateB 3onside$ing that " had loved the lady and she was al'ost fou$
yea$s in he$ g$ave, what was " loo#ing fo$B .esides t$ou%le, that wasB
'"'' loo#ing fo$ two plastic owls,' " said! (a$d p$o%a%ly thought " was tal#ing to hi', %ut "'' not
su$e " was! '" #now that sounds wei$d, %ut it's what "'' doing! 3an you call 'e %ac#B'
'(ithin the hou$!'
'5ood 'an,' " said, and hung up!
Now fo$ the actual owls the'selves! (he$e was the 'ost li#ely spot to sto$e two such inte$esting
a$tifactsB
y eyes went to the cella$ doo$! Ele'enta$y, 'y dea$ (atson!
The cella$ stai$s we$e da$# and 'ildly dan#! As " stood on the landing g$oping fo$ the lightswitch,
the doo$ %anged shut %ehind 'e with such fo$ce that " c$ied out in su$p$ise! The$e was no %$ee=e,
no d$aft, the day was pe$fectly still, %ut the doo$ %anged shut &ust the sa'e! O$ was suc#ed shut!
" stood in the da$# at the top of the stai$s, feeling fo$ the lightswitch, s'elling that oo=y s'ell
that even good conc$ete foundations get afte$ awhile if the$e is no p$ope$ ai$ing*out! "t was cold,
'uch colde$ than it had %een on the othe$ side of the doo$! " wasn't alone and " #new it! " was
af$aid, "'d %e a lia$ to say " wasn't ! ! ! %ut " was also fascinated! So'ething was with 'e! Something
was in here with me(
" d$opped 'y hand away f$o' the wall whe$e the switch was and &ust stood with 'y a$'s at 'y
sides! So'e ti'e passed! " don't #now how 'uch! y hea$t was %eating fu$iously in 'y chest7 "
could feel it in 'y te'ples! "t was cold! 'HelloB' " as#ed!
Nothing in $esponse! " could hea$ the faint, i$$egula$ d$ip of wate$ as condensation fell f$o' one
of the pipes down %elow, " could hea$ 'y own %$eathing, and faintly + fa$ away, in anothe$ wo$ld
whe$e the sun was out + " could hea$ the t$iu'phant caw of a c$ow! 0e$haps it had &ust d$opped a
load on the hood of 'y ca$! 1 really need an owl, " thought! 1n fact' 1 don't know how 1 e&er got
along without one(
'HelloB' " as#ed again! '3an you tal#B'
Nothing!
" wet 'y lips! " should have felt silly, pe$haps, standing the$e in the da$# and calling to the
ghosts! .ut " didn't! Not a %it! The da'p had %een $eplaced %y a coldness " could feel, and " had
co'pany! Oh, yes! '3an you tap, thenB "f you can shut the doo$, you 'ust %e a%le to tap!'
" stood the$e and listened to the soft, isolated d$ips f$o' the pipes! The$e was nothing else! " was
$eaching out fo$ the lightswitch again when the$e was a soft thud f$o' not fa$ %elow 'e! The cella$
of Sa$a 8aughs is high, and the uppe$ th$ee feet of the conc$ete + the pa$t which lies against the
g$ound's f$ost*%elt + had %een insulated with %ig silve$*%ac#ed panels of "nsu*5a$d! The sound
that " hea$d was, " a' )uite su$e, a fist st$i#ing against one of these!
6ust a fist hitting a s)ua$e of insulation, %ut eve$y gut and 'uscle of 'y %ody see'ed to co'e
unwound! y hai$ stood up! y eyesoc#ets see'ed to %e expanding and 'y eye%alls cont$acting,
as if 'y head we$e t$ying to tu$n into a s#ull! Eve$y inch of 'y s#in %$o#e out in gooseflesh!
So'ething was in he$e with 'e! 4e$y li#ely so'ething dead! " could no longe$ have tu$ned on the
light if "'d wanted to! " no longe$ had the st$ength to $aise 'y a$'!
" t$ied to tal#, and at last, in a hus#y whispe$ " ha$dly $ecogni=ed, " saidD 'A$e you $eally the$eB'
"hud(
'(ho a$e youB' " could still do no %ette$ than that hus#y whispe$, the voice of a 'an giving last
inst$uctions to his fa'ily as he lies on his death%ed! This ti'e the$e was nothing f$o' %elow!
" t$ied to thin#, and what ca'e to 'y st$uggling 'ind was Tony 3u$tis as Ha$$y Houdini in so'e
old 'ovie! Acco$ding to the fil', Houdini had %een the 2iogenes of the Oui&a %oa$d ci$cuit, a guy
who spent his spa$e ti'e &ust loo#ing fo$ an honest 'ediu'! He'd attended one sQance whe$e the
dead co''unicated %y +
'Tap once fo$ yes, twice fo$ no,' " said! '3an you do thatB'
"hud(
"t was on the stai$s %elow 'e ! ! ! %ut not too fa$ %elow! 9ive steps down, six o$ seven at 'ost!
Not )uite close enough to touch if " should $each out and wave 'y hand in the %lac# %ase'ent
ai$ ! ! ! a thing " could i'agine, %ut not actually i'agine doing!
'A$e you ! ! ! ' y voice t$ailed off! The$e was si'ply no st$ength in 'y diaph$ag'! 3hilly ai$ lay
on 'y chest li#e a flati$on! " gathe$ed all 'y will and t$ied again! 'A$e you 6oB'
"hud( That soft fist on the insulation! A pause, and thenD "hud*thud(
,es and no!
Then, with no idea why " was as#ing such an inane )uestionD 'A$e the owls down he$eB'
"hud*thud(
'2o you #now whe$e they a$eB'
"hud(
'Should " loo# fo$ the'B'
"hud5 4e$y ha$d!
Why did she want them? " could as#, %ut the thing on the stai$s had no way to an
Hot finge$s touched 'y eyes and " al'ost sc$ea'ed %efo$e $eali=ing it was sweat! " $aised 'y
hands in the da$# and wiped the heels of the' up 'y face to the hai$line! They s#idded as if on oil!
3old o$ not, " was all %ut %athing in 'y own sweat!
'A$e you 8ance 2evo$eB'
"hud*thud, at once!
'"s it safe fo$ 'e at Sa$aB A' " safeB'
"hud( A pause! And " knew it was a pause, that the thing on the stai$s wasn't finished! ThenD
"hud*thud! ,es, " was safe! No, " wasn't safe!
" had $egained 'a$ginal cont$ol of 'y a$'! " $eached out, felt along the wall, and found the
lightswitch! " settled 'y finge$s on it! Now the sweat on 'y face felt as if it we$e tu$ning to ice!
'A$e you the pe$son who c$ies in the nightB' " as#ed!
"hud*thud f$o' %elow 'e, and %etween the two thuds, " flic#ed the switch! The cella$ glo%es
ca'e on! So did a %$illiant hanging %ul% at least a hund$ed and twenty*five watts + ove$ the
landing! The$e was no ti'e fo$ anyone to hide, let alone get away, and no one the$e to t$y, eithe$!
Also, $s! ese$ve + ad'i$a%le in so 'any ways + had neglected to sweep the cella$ stai$s!
(hen " went down to whe$e " esti'ated the thudding sounds had %een co'ing f$o', " left t$ac#s in
the light dust! .ut 'ine we$e the only ones!
" %lew out %$eath in f$ont of 'e and could see it! So it had %een cold, still was cold ! ! ! %ut it was
wa$'ing up fast! " %lew out anothe$ %$eath and could see &ust a hint of fog! A thi$d exhale and the$e
was nothing!
" $an 'y pal' ove$ one of the insulated s)ua$es! S'ooth! " pushed a finge$ at it, and although "
didn't push with any $eal fo$ce, 'y finge$ left a di'ple in the silve$y su$face! Easy as pie! "f
so'eone had %een thu'ping a fist down he$e, this stuff should %e pitted, the thin silve$ s#in
pe$haps even %$o#en to $eveal the pin# fill unde$neath! .ut all the s)ua$es we$e s'ooth!
'A$e you still the$eB' " as#ed!
No $esponse, and yet " had a sense that 'y visito$ was still the$e! So'ewhe$e!
'" hope " didn't offend you %y tu$ning on the light,' " said, and now " did feel slightly odd,
standing on 'y cella$ stai$s and tal#ing out loud, se$'oni=ing to the spide$s! '" wanted to see you if
" could!' " had no idea if that was t$ue o$ not!
Suddenly + so suddenly " al'ost lost 'y %alance and tu'%led down the stai$s + " whi$led
a$ound, convinced the sh$oud*c$eatu$e was %ehind 'e, that it had %een the thing #noc#ing, it, no
polite ! R! 6a'es ghost %ut a ho$$o$ f$o' a$ound the $i' of the unive$se!
The$e was nothing!
" tu$ned a$ound again, too# two o$ th$ee deep, steadying %$eaths, and then went the $est of the
way down the cella$ stai$s! .eneath the' was a pe$fectly se$vicea%le canoe, co'plete with paddle!
"n the co$ne$ was the gas stove we'd $eplaced afte$ %uying the place7 also the claw*foot tu% 6o had
wanted -ove$ 'y o%&ections/ to tu$n into a plante$! " found a t$un# filled with vaguely $ecalled
ta%le*linen, a %ox of 'ildewy cassette tapes -g$oups li#e the 2elfonics, 9un#adelic, and! G?
Special/, seve$al ca$tons of old dishes! The$e was a life down he$e, %ut ulti'ately not a ve$y
inte$esting one! Unli#e the life "'d sensed in 6o's studio, this one hadn't %een cut sho$t %ut evolved
out of, shed li#e old s#in, and that was all $ight! (as, in fact, the natu$al o$de$ of things!
The$e was a photo al%u' on a shelf of #nic##nac#s and " too# it down, %oth cu$ious and wa$y!
No %o'%shells this ti'e, howeve$7 nea$ly all the pix we$e landscape shots of Sa$a 8aughs as it had
%een when we %ought it! " found a pictu$e of 6o in %ell%otto's, though -he$ hai$ pa$ted in the
'iddle and white lipstic# on he$ 'outh/, and one of ichael Noonan wea$ing a flowe$ed shi$t and
'uttonchop side%u$ns that 'ade 'e c$inge -the %achelo$ i#e in the photo was a .a$$y (hite #ind
of guy " didn't want to $ecogni=e and yet did/!
" found 6o's old %$o#en t$ead'ill, a $a#e "'d want if " was still a$ound he$e co'e fall, a
snow%lowe$ "'d want even 'o$e if " was a$ound co'e winte$, and seve$al cans of paint! (hat "
didn't find was any plastic owls! y insulation*thu'ping f$iend had %een $ight!
Upstai$s the telephone sta$ted $inging!
" hu$$ied to answe$ it, going out th$ough the cella$ doo$ and then $eaching %ac# in to flic# off the
lightswitch! This a'used 'e and at the sa'e ti'e see'ed li#e pe$fectly no$'al %ehavio$ ! ! ! &ust as
%eing ca$eful not to step on sidewal# c$ac#s had see'ed li#e pe$fectly no$'al %ehavio$ to 'e when
" was a #id! And even if it wasn't no$'al, what did it 'atte$B "'d only %een %ac# at Sa$a fo$ th$ee
days, %ut al$eady "'d postulated Noonan's 9i$st 8aw of Eccent$icityD when you'$e on you$ own,
st$ange %ehavio$ $eally doesn't see' st$ange at all!
" snagged the co$dless! 'HelloB'
'Hi, i#e! "t's (a$d!'
'That was )uic#!'
'The file*$oo''s &ust a sho$t wal# down the hall,' he said! 'Easy as pie! The$e's only one thing on
6o's calenda$ fo$ the second wee# of Nove'%e$ in :;;G! "t says 'S*1s of aine, 9$eep, :: A!!'
That's on Tuesday the sixteenth! 2oes it helpB'
',es,' " said! 'Than# you, (a$d! "t helps a lot!'
" %$o#e the connection and put the phone %ac# in its c$adle! ,es, it helped! S*1s of aine was
Soup 1itchens of aine! 6o had %een on thei$ %oa$d of di$ecto$s f$o' :;;F until he$ death! 9$eep
was 9$eepo$t! "t 'ust have %een a %oa$d 'eeting! They had p$o%a%ly discussed plans fo$ feeding
the ho'eless on Than#sgiving ! ! ! and then 6o had d$iven the seventy o$ so 'iles to the TR in o$de$
to ta#e delive$y of two plastic owls! "t didn't answe$ all the )uestions, %ut a$en't the$e always
)uestions in the wa#e of a loved one's deathB And no statute of li'itations on when they co'e up!
The U9O voice spo#e up then! While you're right here by the phone' it said' why not call Bonnie
Amudson? Say hi' see how she's doing?
6o had %een on fou$ diffe$ent %oa$ds du$ing the nineties, all of the' doing cha$ita%le wo$#! He$
f$iend .onnie had pe$suaded he$ onto the Soup 1itchens %oa$d when a seat fell vacant! They had
gone to a lot of the 'eetings togethe$! Not the one in Nove'%e$ of :;;G, p$esu'a%ly, and .onnie
could ha$dly %e expected to $e'e'%e$ that one pa$ticula$ 'eeting al'ost five yea$s late$ ! ! ! %ut if
she'd saved he$ old 'inutes*of*the*'eeting sheets ! ! !
Exactly what the fuc# was " thin#ing ofB 3alling .onnie, 'a#ing nice, then as#ing he$ to chec#
he$ 2ece'%e$ :;;G 'inutesB (as " going to as# he$ if the attendance $epo$t had 'y wife a%sent
f$o' the Nove'%e$ 'eetingB (as " going to as# if 'ay%e 6o had see'ed diffe$ent that last yea$ of
he$ lifeB And when .onnie as#ed 'e why " wanted to #now, what would " sayB
-i&e me that, 6o had sna$led in 'y d$ea' of he$! "n the d$ea' she hadn't loo#ed li#e 6o at all,
she'd loo#ed li#e so'e othe$ wo'an, 'ay%e li#e the one in the .oo# of 0$ove$%s, the st$ange
wo'an whose lips we$e as honey %ut whose hea$t was full of gall and wo$'wood! A st$ange
wo'an with finge$s as cold as twigs afte$ a f$ost! -i&e me that' it's my dust*catcher(
" went to the cella$ doo$ and touched the #no%! " tu$ned it ! ! ! then let it go! " didn't want to loo#
down the$e into the da$#, didn't want to $is# the chance that so'ething 'ight sta$t thu'ping again!
"t was %ette$ to leave that doo$ shut! (hat " wanted was so'ething cold to d$in#! " went into the
#itchen, $eached fo$ the f$idge doo$, then stopped! The 'agnets we$e %ac# in a ci$cle again, %ut this
ti'e fou$ lette$s and one nu'%e$ had %een pulled into the cente$ and lined up the$e! They spelled a
single lowe$*case wo$dD
hello
The$e was so'ething he$e! Even %ac# in %$oad daylight " had no dou%t of that! "'d as#ed if it was
safe fo$ 'e to %e he$e and had $eceived a 'ixed 'essage ! ! ! %ut that didn't 'atte$! "f " left Sa$a
now, the$e was nowhe$e to go! " had a #ey to the house in 2e$$y, %ut 'atte$s had to %e $esolved
he$e! " #new that, too!
'Hello,' " said, and opened the f$idge to get a soda! '(hoeve$ o$ whateve$ you a$e, hello!'
3HA0TER E8E4EN
" wo#e in the ea$ly hou$s of the following 'o$ning convinced that the$e was so'eone in the no$th
%ed$oo' with 'e! " sat up against the pillows, $u%%ed 'y eyes, and saw a da$#, shoulde$y shape
standing %etween 'e and the window!
'(ho a$e youB' " as#ed, thin#ing that it wouldn't $eply in wo$ds7 it would, instead, thu'p on the
wall! Once fo$ yes, twice fo$ no + what's on you$ 'ind, HoudiniB .ut the figu$e standing %y the
window 'ade no $eply at all! " g$oped up, found the st$ing hanging f$o' the light ove$ the %ed, and
yan#ed it! y 'outh was tu$ned down in a g$i'ace, 'y 'idsection tensed so tight it felt as if
%ullets would have %ounced off!
'Oh shit,' " said! '9uc# 'e til " c$y!'
2angling f$o' a hange$ "'d hoo#ed ove$ the cu$tain $od was 'y old suede &ac#et! "'d pa$#ed it
the$e while unpac#ing and had then fo$gotten to sto$e it away in the closet! " t$ied to laugh and
couldn't! At th$ee in the 'o$ning it &ust didn't see' that funny! " tu$ned off the light and lay %ac#
down with 'y eyes open, waiting fo$ .unte$'s %ell to $ing o$ the childish so%%ing to sta$t! " was still
listening when " fell asleep!
Seven hou$s o$ so late$, as " was getting $eady to go out to 6o's studio and see if the plastic owls
we$e in the sto$age a$ea, whe$e " hadn't chec#ed the day %efo$e, a late*'odel 9o$d $olled down 'y
d$iveway and stopped nose to nose with 'y 3hevy! " had gotten as fa$ as the sho$t path %etween the
house and the studio, %ut now " ca'e %ac#! The day was hot and %$eathless, and " was wea$ing
nothing %ut a pai$ of cut*off &eans and plastic flip*flops on 'y feet!
6o always clai'ed that the 3leveland style of d$essing divided itself natu$ally into two
su%gen$esD 9ull 3leveland and 3leveland 3asual! y visito$ that Tuesday 'o$ning was wea$ing
3leveland 3asual + you had you$ Hawaiian shi$t with pineapples and 'on#eys, you$ tan slac#s
f$o' .anana Repu%lic, you$ white loafe$s! Soc#s a$e optional, %ut white footgea$ is a necessa$y
pa$t of the 3leveland loo#, as is at least one piece of gaudy gold &ewel$y! This fellow was totally
o#ay in the latte$ depa$t'entD he had a Rolex on one w$ist and a gold*lin# chain a$ound his nec#!
The tail of his shi$t was out, and the$e was a suspicious lu'p at the %ac#! "t was eithe$ a gun o$ a
%eepe$ and loo#ed too %ig to %e a %eepe$! " glanced at the ca$ again! .lac#wall ti$es! And on the
dash%oa$d, oh loo# at this, a cove$ed %lue %u%%le! The %ette$ to c$eep up on you unsuspected,
5$a''a!
'ichael NoonanB' He was handso'e in a way that would %e att$active to ce$tain wo'en + the
#ind who c$inge when any%ody in thei$ i''ediate vicinity $aises his voice, the #ind who $a$ely call
the police when things go w$ong at ho'e %ecause, on so'e 'ise$a%le sec$et level, they %elieve
they dese$ve things to go w$ong at ho'e! ($ong things that $esult in %lac# eyes, dislocated el%ows,
the occasional ciga$ette %u$n on the %oo%y! These a$e wo'en who 'o$e often than not call thei$
hus%ands o$ love$s daddy, as in '3an " %$ing you a %ee$, daddyB' o$ '2id you have a ha$d day at
wo$#, daddyB'
',es, "'' ichael Noonan! How can " help youB'
This ve$sion of daddy tu$ned, %ent, and g$a%%ed so'ething f$o' the litte$ of pape$wo$# on the
passenge$ side of the f$ont seat! .eneath the dash, a two*way $adio s)uaw#ed once, %$iefly, and fell
silent! He tu$ned %ac# to 'e with a long, %uff*colo$ed folde$ in one hand! Held it out! 'This is
you$s!'
(hen " didn't ta#e it, he stepped fo$wa$d and t$ied to po#e it into one of 'y pal's, which would
p$esu'a%ly cause 'e to close 'y finge$s in a #ind of $eflex! "nstead " $aised %oth hands to
shoulde$*level, as if he had &ust told 'e to put e' up, uggsy!
He loo#ed at 'e patiently, his face as "$ish as the A$len %$othe$s' %ut without the A$len loo# of
#indness, openness, and cu$iosity! (hat was the$e in place of those things was a species of sou$
a'use'ent, as if he'd seen all of the wo$ld's pissie$ %ehavio$, 'ost of it twice! One of his eye%$ows
had %een split open a long ti'e ago, and his chee#s had that $eddish wind%u$ned loo# that indicates
eithe$ $uddy good health o$ a deep inte$est in g$ain*alcohol p$oducts! He loo#ed li#e he could #noc#
you into the gutte$ and then sit on you to #eep you the$e! " %een good, daddy, get off 'e, don't %e
'ean!
'2on't 'a#e this tough! ,ou'$e gonna ta#e se$vice of this and we %oth #now it, so don't 'a#e this
tough!'
'Show 'e so'e "2 fi$st!'
He sighed, $olled his eyes, then $eached into one of his shi$t poc#ets! He %$ought out a leathe$
folde$ and flipped it open! The$e was a %adge and a photo "2! y new f$iend was 5eo$ge 9oot'an,
2eputy She$iff, 3astle 3ounty! The photo was flat and shadowless, li#e so'ething an assault
victi' would see in a 'ug%oo#!
'O#ayB' he as#ed! " too# the %uff*%ac#ed docu'ent when he held it out again! He stood the$e,
%$oadcasting that sense of cu$dled a'use'ent as " scanned it! " had %een su%poenaed to appea$ in
the 3astle Roc# office of El'e$ 2u$gin, Atto$ney*at*8aw, at ten o'cloc# on the 'o$ning of 6uly :A,
:;;? + 9$iday, in othe$ wo$ds! Said El'e$ 2u$gin had %een appointed gua$dian ad lite' of 1y$a
Eli=a%eth 2evo$e, a 'ino$ child! He would ta#e a deposition f$o' 'e conce$ning any #nowledge "
'ight have of 1y$a Eli=a%eth 2evo$e in $ega$d to he$ well*%eing! This deposition would %e ta#en
on %ehalf of 3astle 3ounty Supe$io$ 3ou$t and 6udge No%le Rancou$t! A stenog$aphe$ would %e
p$esent! " was assu$ed that this was the cou$t's depo, and nothing to do with eithe$ 0laintiff o$
2efendant!
9oot'an said, '"t's 'y &o% to $e'ind you of the penalties should you fail + '
'Than#s, %ut let's &ust assu'e you told 'e all a%out those, o#ayB "'ll %e the$e!' " 'ade shooing
gestu$es at his ca$! " felt deeply disgusted ! ! ! and " felt interfered with! " had neve$ %een se$ved
with a p$ocess %efo$e, and " didn't ca$e fo$ it!
He went %ac# to his ca$, sta$ted to swing in, then stopped with one hai$y a$' hung ove$ the top
of the open doo$! His Rolex glea'ed in the ha=y sunlight!
'8et 'e give you a piece of advice,' he said, and that was enough to tell 'e anything else "
needed to #now a%out the guy! '2on't fuc# with $! 2evo$e!'
'O$ he'll s)uash 'e li#e a %ug,' " said!
'HuhB'
',ou$ actual lines a$e, '8et 'e give you a piece of advice + don't fuc# with $! 2evo$e o$ he'll
s)uash you li#e a %ug!''
" could see %y his exp$ession + half past pe$plexed, going on ang$y + that he had 'eant to say
so'ething ve$y 'uch li#e that! O%viously we'd seen the sa'e 'ovies, including all those in which
Ro%e$t 2e Ni$o plays a psycho! Then his face clea$ed!
'Oh su$e, you'$e the w$ite$,' he said!
'That's what they tell 'e!'
',ou can say stuff li#e that 'cause you'$e a w$ite$!'
'(ell, it's a f$ee count$y, isn't itB'
'Ain't you a s'a$tass, now!'
'How long have you %een wo$#ing fo$ ax 2evo$e, 2eputyB And does the 3ounty She$iffs
office #now you'$e 'oonlightingB'
'They #now! "t's not a p$o%le'! ,ou're the one that 'ight have the p$o%le', $! S'a$tass
($ite$!'
" decided it was ti'e to )uit this %efo$e we descended to the #a#a*poopie stage of na'e*calling!
'5et out of 'y d$iveway, please, 2eputy!'
He loo#ed at 'e a 'o'ent longe$, o%viously sea$ching fo$ that pe$fect cappe$ line and not
finding it! He needed a $! S'a$tass ($ite$ to help hi', that was all! '"'ll %e loo#ing fo$ you on
9$iday,' he said!
'2oes that 'ean you'$e going to %uy 'e lunchB 2on't wo$$y, "'' a fai$ly cheap date!'
His $eddish chee#s da$#ened a deg$ee fu$the$, and " could see what they we$e going to loo# li#e
when he was sixty, if he didn't lay off the fi$ewate$ in the 'eanti'e! He got %ac# into his 9o$d and
$eve$sed up 'y d$iveway ha$d enough to 'a#e his ti$es holle$! " stood whe$e " was, watching hi'
go! Once he was headed %ac# out 8ane 9o$ty*two to the highway, " went into the house! "t occu$$ed
to 'e that 2eputy 9oot'an's ext$acu$$icula$ &o% 'ust pay well, if he could affo$d a Rolex! On the
othe$ hand, 'ay%e it was a #noc#off!
Settle down' #ichael, 6o's voice advised! "he red rag is gone now' no one's wa&ing anything in
front of you' so )ust settle 3
" shut he$ voice out! " didn't want to settle down7 " wanted to settle up! " had %een interfered with!
" wal#ed ove$ to the hall des# whe$e 6o and " had always #ept ou$ pending docu'ents -and ou$
des# calenda$s, now that " thought a%out it/, and tac#ed the su''ons to the %ulletin %oa$d %y one
co$ne$ of its %uff*colo$ed &ac#et! (ith that 'uch acco'plished, " $aised 'y fist in f$ont of 'y eyes,
loo#ed at the wedding $ing on it fo$ a 'o'ent, then sla''ed it against the wall %eside the
%oo#case! " did it ha$d enough to 'a#e an enti$e $ow of pape$%ac#s &u'p! " thought a%out attie
2evo$e's %aggy sho$ts and 1'a$t s'oc#, then a%out he$ fathe$*in*law paying fou$ and a )ua$te$
'illion dolla$s fo$ (a$$ington's! ($iting a pe$sonal godda'ned chec#! " thought a%out .ill 2ean
saying that one way o$ anothe$, that little gi$l was going to g$ow up in 3alifo$nia!
" wal#ed %ac# and fo$th th$ough the house, still si''e$ing, and finally ended up in f$ont of the
f$idge! The ci$cle of 'agnets was the sa'e, %ut the lette$s inside had changed! "nstead of
hello
they now $ead
help $
'Helpe$B' " said, and as soon as " hea$d the wo$d out loud, " unde$stood! The lette$s on the f$idge
consisted of only a single alpha%et -no, not even that, " saw7 g and $ had %een lost so'eplace/, and
"'d have to get 'o$e! "f the f$ont of 'y 1en'o$e was going to %eco'e a Oui&a %oa$d, "'d need a
good supply of lette$s! Especially vowels! "n the 'eanti'e, " 'oved the h and the e in f$ont of the r!
Now the 'essage $ead
lp he$
" scatte$ed the ci$cle of f$uit and vegeta%le 'agnets with 'y pal', sp$ead the lette$s, and
$esu'ed pacing! " had 'ade a decision not to get %etween 2evo$e and his daughte$*in*law, %ut "'d
wound up %etween the' anyway! A deputy in 3leveland clothing had shown up in 'y d$iveway,
co'plicating a life that al$eady had its p$o%le's ! ! ! and sca$ing 'e a little in the %a$gain! .ut at
least it was a fea$ of so'ething " could see and unde$stand! All at once " decided " wanted to do
'o$e with the su''e$ than wo$$y a%out ghosts, c$ying #ids, and what 'y wife had %een up to fou$
o$ five yea$s ago ! ! ! if, in fact, she had %een up to anything! " couldn't w$ite %oo#s, %ut that didn't
'ean " had to pic# sca%s!
.elp her(
" decided " would at least t$y!
'Ha$old O%lows#i 8ite$a$y Agency!'
'3o'e to .eli=e with 'e, Nola,' " said! '" need you! (e'll 'a#e %eautiful love at 'idnight, when
the full 'oon tu$ns the %each to a %one!'
'Hello, $! Noonan,' she said! No sense of hu'o$ had Nola! No sense of $o'ance, eithe$! "n
so'e ways that 'ade he$ pe$fect fo$ the O%lows#i Agency! '(ould you li#e to spea# to Ha$oldB'
'"f he's in!'
'He is! 0lease hold!'
One nice thing a%out %eing a %est selling autho$ + even one whose %oo#s only appea$, as a
gene$al $ule, on lists that go to fifteen + is that you$ agent al'ost always happens to %e in! Anothe$
is if he's vacationing on Nantuc#et, he'll %e in to you the$e! A thi$d is that the ti'e you spend on
hold is usually )uite sho$t!
'i#eC' he c$ied! 'How's the la#eB " thought a%out you all wee#endC'
,eah, " thought, and pigs will whistle(
'Things a$e fine in gene$al %ut shitty in one pa$ticula$, Ha$old! " need to tal# to a lawye$! "
thought fi$st a%out calling (a$d Han#ins fo$ a $eco''endation, %ut then " decided " wanted
so'e%ody a little 'o$e high*powe$ed than (a$d was li#ely to #now! So'eone with filed teeth and
a taste fo$ hu'an flesh would %e nice!'
This ti'e Ha$old didn't %othe$ with the long*pause $outine! '(hat's up, i#eB A$e you in
t$ou%leB'
"hump once for yes' twice for no, " thought, and fo$ one wild 'o'ent thought of actually doing
&ust that! " $e'e'%e$ed finishing 3h$isty .$own's 'e'oi$, Down All the Days, and wonde$ing what
it would %e li#e to w$ite an enti$e %oo# with the pen g$asped %etween the toes of you$ left foot!
Now " wonde$ed what it would %e li#e to go th$ough ete$nity with no way to co''unicate %ut
$apping on the cella$ wall! And even then only ce$tain people would %e a%le to hea$ and unde$stand
you ! ! ! and only those ce$tain people at ce$tain ti'es!
0o' was it you? And if it was' why did you answer both ways?
'i#eB A$e you the$eB'
',es! This isn't $eally 'y t$ou%le, Ha$old, so cool you$ &ets! " do have a p$o%le', though! ,ou$
'ain guy is 5oldac$e, $ightB'
'Right! "'ll call hi' $ight aw + '
'.ut he deals p$i'a$ily with cont$acts law!' " was thin#ing out loud now, and when " paused,
Ha$old didn't fill it! So'eti'es he's an all*$ight guy! ost ti'es, $eally! '3all hi' fo$ 'e anyway,
would youB Tell hi' " need to tal# to an atto$ney with a good wo$#ing #nowledge of child*custody
law! Have hi' put 'e in touch with the %est one who's f$ee to ta#e a case i''ediately! One who
can %e in cou$t with 'e 9$iday, if that's necessa$y!'
'"s it pate$nityB' he as#ed, sounding %oth $espectful and af$aid!
'No, custody!' " thought a%out telling hi' to get the whole sto$y f$o' the 8awye$ to .e Na'ed
8ate$, %ut Ha$old dese$ved %ette$ ! ! ! and would de'and to hea$ 'y ve$sion soone$ o$ late$ anyway,
no 'atte$ what the lawye$ told hi'! " gave hi' an account of 'y 9ou$th of 6uly 'o$ning and its
afte$'ath! " stuc# with the 2evo$es, 'entioning nothing a%out voices, c$ying child$en, o$ thu'ps in
the da$#! Ha$old only inte$$upted once, and that was when he $eali=ed who the villain of the piece
was!
',ou'$e as#ing fo$ t$ou%le,' he said! ',ou #now that, don't youB'
'"'' in fo$ a ce$tain 'easu$e of it in any case,' " said! '"'ve decided " want to dish out a little as
well, that's all!'
',ou will not have the peace and )uiet that a w$ite$ needs to do his %est wo$#,' Ha$old said in an
a'usingly p$i' voice! " wonde$ed what the $eaction would %e if " said that was o#ay, " hadn't
w$itten anything 'o$e $iveting than a g$oce$y list since 6o died, and 'ay%e this would sti$ 'e up a
little! .ut " didn't! Neve$ let e' see you sweat, the Noonan clan's 'otto! So'eone should ca$ve
2ON'T (ORR, "' 9"NE on the doo$ of the fa'ily c$ypt!
Then " thoughtD help r!
'That young wo'an needs a f$iend,' " said, 'and 6o would have wanted 'e to %e one to he$! 6o
didn't li#e it when the little fol#s got stepped on!'
',ou thin#B'
',eah!'
'O#ay, "'ll see who " can find! And i#e ! ! ! do you want 'e to co'e up on 9$iday fo$ this depoB'
'No!' "t ca'e out sounding needlessly a%$upt and was followed %y a silence that see'ed not
calculated %ut hu$t! '8isten, Ha$old, 'y ca$eta#e$ said the actual custody hea$ing is scheduled soon!
"f it happens and you still want to co'e up, "'ll give you a call! " can always use you$ 'o$al suppo$t
+ you #now that!'
'"n 'y case it's immoral suppo$t,' he $eplied, %ut he sounded chee$y again!
(e said good%ye! " wal#ed %ac# to the f$idge and loo#ed at the 'agnets! They we$e still
scatte$ed hell to %$ea#fast, and that was so$t of a $elief! Even the spi$its 'ust have to $est
so'eti'es!
" too# the co$dless phone, went out onto the dec#, and plon#ed down in the chai$ whe$e "'d %een
on the night of the 9ou$th, when 2evo$e called! Even afte$ 'y visit f$o' 'daddy,' " could still ha$dly
%elieve that conve$sation! 2evo$e had called 'e a lia$7 " had told hi' to stic# 'y telephone nu'%e$
up his ass! (e we$e off to a g$eat sta$t as neigh%o$s!
" pulled the chai$ a little close$ to the edge of the dec#, which d$opped a giddy fo$ty feet o$ so to
the slope %etween Sa$a's %ac#side and the la#e! " loo#ed fo$ the g$een wo'an "'d seen while
swi''ing, telling 'yself not to %e a dope + things li#e that you can see only f$o' one angle,
stand even ten feet off to one side o$ the othe$ and the$e's nothing to loo# at! .ut this was
appa$ently a case of the exception's p$oving the $ule! " was %oth a'used and a little uneasy to
$eali=e that the %i$ch down the$e %y The St$eet loo#ed li#e a wo'an f$o' the land side as well as
f$o' the la#e! So'e of it was due to the pine &ust %ehind it + that %a$e %$anch &utting off to the
no$th li#e a %ony pointing a$' + %ut not all of it! 9$o' %ac# he$e the %i$ch's white li'%s and
na$$ow leaves still 'ade a wo'an's shape, and when the wind shoo# the lowe$ levels of the t$ee,
the g$een and silve$ swi$led li#e long s#i$ts!
" had said no to Ha$old's well*'eant offe$ to co'e up al'ost %efo$e it was fully a$ticulated, and
as " loo#ed at the t$ee*wo'an, $athe$ ghostly in he$ own $ight, " #new whyD Ha$old was loud,
Ha$old was insensitive to nuance, Ha$old 'ight f$ighten off whateve$ was he$e! " didn't want that! "
was sca$ed, yes + standing on those da$# cella$ stai$s and listening to the thu'ps f$o' &ust %elow
'e, " had %een fuc#ing te$$ified + %ut " had also felt fully alive fo$ the fi$st ti'e in yea$s! " was
touching so'ething in Sa$a that was enti$ely %eyond 'y expe$ience, and it fascinated 'e!
The co$dless phone $ang in 'y lap, 'a#ing 'e &u'p! " g$a%%ed it, expecting ax 2evo$e o$
pe$haps 9oot'an, his ove$golded 'inion! "t tu$ned out to %e a lawye$ na'ed 6ohn Sto$$ow, who
sounded as if he 'ight have g$aduated f$o' law school fai$ly $ecently + li#e last wee#! Still, he
wo$#ed fo$ the fi$' of Ave$y, c8ain, and .e$nstein on 0a$# Avenue, and 0a$# Avenue is a p$etty
good add$ess fo$ a lawye$, even one who still has a few of his 'il#*teeth! "f Hen$y 5oldac$e said
Sto$$ow was good, he p$o%a%ly was! And his specialty was custody law!
'Now tell 'e what's happening up the$e,' he said when the int$oductions we$e ove$ and the
%ac#g$ound had %een s#etched in!
" did 'y %est, feeling 'y spi$its $ise a little as the tale wound on! The$e's so'ething oddly
co'fo$ting a%out tal#ing to a legal guy once the %illa%le*hou$s cloc# has sta$ted $unning7 you have
passed the 'agical point at which a lawye$ %eco'es your lawye$! ,ou$ lawye$ is wa$', you$
lawye$ is sy'pathetic, you$ lawye$ 'a#es notes on a yellow pad and nods in all the $ight places!
ost of the )uestions you$ lawye$ as#s a$e )uestions you can answe$! And if you can't, you$ lawye$
will help you find a way to do so, %y 5od! ,ou$ lawye$ is always on you$ side! ,ou$ ene'ies a$e
his ene'ies! To hi' you a$e neve$ shit %ut always Shinola!
(hen " had finished, 6ohn Sto$$ow saidD '(ow! "'' su$p$ised the pape$s haven't gotten hold of
this!'
'That neve$ occu$$ed to 'e!' .ut " could see his point! The 2evo$e fa'ily saga wasn't fo$ the
New ,ork "imes o$ Boston -lobe, p$o%a%ly not even fo$ the Derry News, %ut in wee#ly
supe$'a$#et ta%s li#e "he National 4n!uirer o$ 1nside >iew, it would fit li#e a glove + instead of
the gi$l, 1ing 1ong decides to snatch the gi$l's innocent child and ca$$y it with hi' to the top of the
E'pi$e State .uilding! Oh, ee#, unhand that %a%y, you %$ute! "t wasn't f$ont*page stuff, no %lood o$
cele%$ity 'o$gue shots, %ut as a page nine shoute$ it would do nicely! "n 'y 'ind " co'posed a
headline %la$ing ove$ side*%y*side pix of (a$$ington's 8odge and attie's $usty dou%lewideD
COMPU-KING LIVES IN SPLENDOR AS HE TRIES TO TAKE YOUNG BEAUTY'S
ONLY CHILD! 0$o%a%ly too long, " decided! " wasn't w$iting any'o$e and still " needed an edito$!
That was p$etty sad when you stopped to thin# a%out it!
'0e$haps at so'e point we'll see that they do get the sto$y,' Sto$$ow said in a 'using tone! "
$eali=ed that this was a 'an " could g$ow attached to, at least in 'y p$esent ang$y 'ood! He g$ew
%$is#e$! '(ho'' " $ep$esenting he$e, $! NoonanB ,ou o$ the young ladyB " vote fo$ the young
lady!'
'The young lady doesn't even #now "'ve called you! She 'ay thin# "'ve ta#en a %it too 'uch on
'yself! She 'ay, in fact, give 'e the $ough side of he$ tongue!'
'(hy would she do thatB'
'.ecause she's a ,an#ee + a #aine ,an#ee, the wo$st #ind! On a given day, they can 'a#e the
"$ish loo# logical!'
'0e$haps, %ut she's the one with the ta$get pinned to he$ shi$t! " suggest that you call and tell he$
that!'
" p$o'ised " would! "t wasn't a ha$d p$o'ise to 'a#e, eithe$! "'d #nown "'d have to %e in touch
with he$ eve$ since " had accepted the su''ons f$o' 2eputy 9oot'an! 'And who stands fo$
ichael Noonan co'e 9$iday 'o$ningB'
Sto$$ow laughed d$yly! '"'ll find so'eone local to do that! He'll go into this 2u$gin's office with
you, sit )uietly with his %$iefcase on his lap, and listen! " 'ay %e in town %y that point + " won't
#now until " tal# to s! 2evo$e + %ut " won't %e in 2u$gin's office! (hen the custody hea$ing
co'es a$ound, though, you'll see 'y face in the place!'
'All $ight, good! 3all 'e with the na'e of 'y new lawye$! y othe$ new lawye$!'
'Uh*huh! "n the 'eanti'e, tal# to the young lady! 5et 'e a &o%!'
'"'ll t$y!'
'Also t$y to stay visi%le if you'$e with he$,' he said! '"f we give the %ad guys $oo' to get nasty,
they'll get nasty!
The$e's nothing li#e that %etween you, is the$eB Nothing nastyB So$$y to have to as#, %ut " do
have to as#!'
'No,' " said! '"t's %een )uite so'e ti'e since "'ve %een up to anything nasty with anyone!'
'"'' te'pted to co''ise$ate, $! Noonan, %ut unde$ the ci$cu'stances + '
'i#e! a#e it i#e!'
'5ood! " li#e that! And "'' 6ohn! 0eople a$e going to tal# a%out you$ involve'ent anyway! ,ou
#now that, don't youB'
'Su$e! 0eople #now " can affo$d you! They'll speculate a%out how she can affo$d me! 0$etty
young widow, 'iddle*aged widowe$! Sex would see' the 'ost li#ely!'
',ou'$e a $ealist!'
'" don't $eally thin# " a', %ut " #now a haw# f$o' a handsaw!'
'" hope you do, %ecause the $ide could get $ough! This is an ext$e'ely $ich 'an we'$e going up
against!' ,et he didn't sound sca$ed! He sounded al'ost ! ! ! greedy! He sounded the way pa$t of 'e
had felt when " saw that the 'agnets on the f$idge we$e %ac# in a ci$cle!
'" #now he is!'
'"n cou$t that won't 'atte$ a whole helluva lot, %ecause the$e's a ce$tain a'ount of 'oney on the
othe$ side! Also, the &udge is going to %e ve$y awa$e that this one is a powde$#eg! That can %e
useful!'
'(hat's the %est thing we've got going fo$ usB' " as#ed this thin#ing of 1y$a's $osy, un'a$#ed
face and he$ co'plete lac# of fea$ in the p$esence of he$ 'othe$! " as#ed it thin#ing 6ohn would
$eply that the cha$ges we$e clea$ly unfounded! " thought w$ong!
'The %est thingB 2evo$e's age! He's got to %e olde$ than 5od!'
'.ased on what "'ve hea$d ove$ the wee#end, " thin# he 'ust %e eighty*five! That would 'a#e
5od olde$!'
',eah, %ut as a potential dad he 'a#es Tony Randall loo# li#e a teenage$,' 6ohn said, and now he
sounded positively gloating! 'Thin# of it, ichael + the #id g$aduates f$o' high school the yea$
5$a'ps tu$ns one hund$ed! Also the$e's a chance the old 'an's ove$$eached hi'self! 2o you #now
what a gua$dian ad litem isB'
'No!'
'Essentially it's a lawye$ the cou$t appoints to p$otect the inte$ests of the child! A fee fo$ the
se$vice co'es out of cou$t costs, %ut it's a pittance! ost people who ag$ee to se$ve as gua$dian ad
litem have st$ictly alt$uistic 'otives ! ! ! %ut not all of the'! "n any case, the ad litem puts his own
spin on the case! 6udges don't have to ta#e the guy's advice, %ut they al'ost always do! "t 'a#es a
&udge loo# stupid to $e&ect the advice of his own appointee, and the thing a &udge hates a%ove all
othe$s is loo#ing stupid!'
'2evo$e will have his own lawye$B'
6ohn laughed! 'How a%out half a do=en at the actual custody hea$ingB'
'A$e you se$iousB'
'The guy is eighty*five! That's too old fo$ 9e$$a$is, too old fo$ %ungee &u'ping in Ti%et, and too
old fo$ who$es unless he's a 'ighty 'an! (hat does that leave fo$ hi' to spend his 'oney onB'
'8awye$s,' " said %lea#ly!
',ep!'
'And attie 2evo$eB (hat does she getB'
'Than#s to you, she gets 'e,' 6ohn Sto$$ow said! '"t's li#e a 6ohn 5$isha' novel, isn't itB 0u$e
gold! eanti'e, "'' inte$ested in 2u$gin, the ad litem! "f 2evo$e hasn't %een expecting any $eal
t$ou%le, he 'ay have %een unwise enough to put te'ptation in 2u$gin's way! And 2u$gin 'ay have
%een stupid enough to succu'%! Hey, who #nows what we 'ight findB'
.ut " was a tu$n %ac#! 'She gets you,' " said! 'Than#s to 'e! And if " wasn't he$e to stic# in 'y
oa$B (hat would she get thenB'
'Bubkes! That's ,iddish! "t 'eans + '
'" #now what it 'eans,' " said! 'That's inc$edi%le!'
'Nope, &ust A'e$ican &ustice! ,ou #now the lady with the scalesB The one who stands outside
'ost city cou$thousesB'
'Uh*huh!'
'Slap so'e handcuffs on that %$oad's w$ists and so'e tape ove$ he$ 'outh to go along with the
%lindfold, $ape he$ and $oll he$ in the 'ud! ,ou li#e that i'ageB " don't, %ut it's a fai$ $ep$esentation
of how the law wo$#s in custody cases whe$e the plaintiff is $ich and the defendant is poo$! And
sexual e)uality has actually 'ade it wo$se, %ecause while 'othe$s still tend to %e poo$, they a$e no
longe$ seen as the auto'atic choice fo$ custody!'
'attie 2evo$e's got to have you, doesn't sheB'
',es,' 6ohn said si'ply! '3all 'e to'o$$ow and tell 'e that she will!'
'" hope " can do that!'
'So do "! And listen + the$e's one 'o$e thing!'
'(hatB'
',ou lied to 2evo$e on the telephone!'
'.ullshitC'
'Nope, nope, " hate to cont$adict 'y siste$'s favo$ite autho$, %ut you did and you #now it! ,ou
told 2evo$e that 'othe$ and child we$e out togethe$, the #id was pic#ing flowe$s, eve$ything was
fine! ,ou put eve$ything in the$e except .a'%i and Thu'pe$!'
" was sitting up st$aight in 'y dec#*chai$ now! " felt sand%agged! " also felt that 'y own
cleve$ness had %een ove$loo#ed! 'Hey, no, thin# again! " neve$ ca'e out and said anything! " told
hi' " assu'ed! " used the wo$d 'o$e than once! " $e'e'%e$ that ve$y clea$ly!'
'Uh*huh, and if he was taping you$ conve$sation, you'll get a chance to actually count how 'any
ti'es you used it!'
At fi$st " didn't answe$! " was thin#ing %ac# to the conve$sation "'d had with hi', $e'e'%e$ing
the unde$hu' on the phone line, the cha$acte$istic unde$hu' " $e'e'%e$ed f$o' all 'y p$evious
su''e$s at Sa$a 8aughs! Had that steady low mmmmm %een even 'o$e noticea%le on Satu$day
nightB '" guess 'ay%e the$e could %e a tape,' " said $eluctantly!
'Uh*huh! And if 2evo$e's lawye$ gets it to the ad litem, how do you thin# you'll soundB'
'3a$eful,' " said! 'ay%e li#e a 'an with so'ething to hide!'
'O$ a 'an spinning ya$ns! And you'$e good at that, a$en't youB Afte$ all, it's what you do fo$ a
living! At the custody hea$ing, 2evo$e's lawye$ is apt to 'ention that! "f he then p$oduces one of
the people who passed you sho$tly afte$ attie a$$ived on the scene ! ! ! a pe$son who testifies that
the young lady see'ed upset and fluste$ed ! ! ! how do you thin# you'll sound thenB'
'8i#e a lia$,' " said, and thenD 'Ah, fuc#!'
'9ea$ not, i#e! .e of good chee$!'
'(hat should " doB'
'Spi#e thei$ guns %efo$e they can fi$e the'! Tell 2u$gin exactly what happened! 5et it in the
depo! E'phasi=e the fact that the little gi$l thought she was wal#ing safely! a#e su$e you get in
that 'c$oss'oc#' thing! " love that!'
'Then if they have a tape they'll play it and "'ll loo# li#e a sto$y*changing sch'uc#!'
'" don't thin# so! ,ou we$en't a swo$n witness when you tal#ed to 2evo$e, we$e youB The$e you
we$e, sitting out on you$ dec# and 'inding you$ own %usiness, watching the fi$ewo$#s show! Out
of the %lue this g$ouchy old asshole calls you! Sta$ts $anting! 2idn't even give hi' you$ nu'%e$, did
youB'
'No!'
',ou$ unlisted nu'%e$!'
'No!'
'And while he said he was axwell 2evo$e, he could have %een anyone, $ightB'
'Right!'
'He could have %een the Shah of "$an!'
'No, the Shah's dead!'
'The Shah's out, then! .ut he could have %een a nosy neigh%o$ ! ! ! o$ a p$an#ste$!'
',es!'
'And you said what you said with all those possi%ilities in 'ind! .ut now that you'$e pa$t of an
official cou$t p$oceeding, you'$e telling the whole t$uth and nothing %ut!'
',ou %et!' That good my*lawyer feeling had dese$ted 'e fo$ a %it, %ut it was %ac# full*fo$ce now!
',ou can't do %ette$ than the t$uth, i#e,' he said sole'nly! 'Except 'ay%e in a few cases, and this
isn't one! A$e we clea$ on thatB'
',es!'
'All $ight, we'$e done! " want to hea$ f$o' eithe$ you o$ attie 2evo$e a$ound elevenish
to'o$$ow! "t ought to %e he$!'
'"'ll t$y!'
'"f she $eally %al#s, you #now what to do, don't youB'
'" thin# so! Than#s, 6ohn!'
'One way o$ anothe$, we'll tal# ve$y soon,' he said, and hung up!
" sat whe$e " was fo$ awhile! Once " pushed the %utton which opened the line on the co$dless
phone, then pushed it again to close it! " had to tal# to attie, %ut " wasn't )uite $eady yet! " decided
to ta#e a wal# instead!
1f she really balks' you know what to do' don't you?
Of cou$se!
Re'ind he$ that she couldn't affo$d to %e p$oud! That she couldn't affo$d to go all ,an#ee,
$efusing cha$ity f$o' ichael Noonan, autho$ of Being "wo, "he Red*Shirt #an, and the soon*to*
%e*pu%lished .elen's 6romise! Re'ind he$ that she could have he$ p$ide o$ he$ daughte$, %ut li#ely
not %oth!
Hey, attie, pic# one!
" wal#ed al'ost to the end of the lane, stopping at Tidwell's eadow with its p$etty view down to
the cup of the la#e and ac$oss to the (hite ountains! The wate$ d$ea'ed unde$ a ha=y s#y,
loo#ing g$ay when you tipped you$ head one way, %lue when you tipped it the othe$! That sense of
'yste$y was ve$y 'uch with 'e! That sense of ande$ley!
Ove$ fo$ty %lac# people had settled he$e at the tu$n of the centu$y + lit he$e fo$ awhile, anyway
+ acco$ding to a$ie Hinge$'an -also acco$ding to A .istory of astle ounty and astle Rock, a
weighty to'e pu%lished in :;JJ, the county's %icentennial yea$/! 0$etty special %lac# people, tooD
'ost of the' $elated, 'ost of the' talented, 'ost of the' pa$t of a 'usical g$oup which had fi$st
%een called The Red*Top .oys and then Sa$a Tidwell and the Red*Top .oys! They had %ought the
'eadow and a good*si=ed t$act of la#eside land f$o' a 'an na'ed 2ouglas 2ay! The 'oney had
%een saved up ove$ a pe$iod of ten yea$s, acco$ding to Sonny Tidwell, who did the dic#e$ing -as a
Red*Top, Son Tidwell had played what was then #nown as 'chic#ensc$atch guita$'/!
The$e had %een a vast up$oa$ a%out it in town, and even a 'eeting to p$otest 'the advent of these
da$#ies, which co'e in a Ho$de!' Things had settled down and tu$ned out o#ay, as things have a
way of doing, 'o$e often than not! The shanty town 'ost locals had expected on 2ay's Hill -fo$ so
Tidwell's eadow was called in :;AA, when Son Tidwell %ought the land on %ehalf of his extensive
clan/ had neve$ appea$ed! "nstead, a nu'%e$ of neat white ca%ins sp$ang up, su$$ounding a la$ge$
%uilding that 'ight have %een intended as a g$oup 'eeting place, a $ehea$sal a$ea, o$ pe$haps, at
so'e point, a pe$fo$'ance hall!
Sa$a and the Red*Top .oys -so'eti'es the$e was a Red*Top 5i$l in the$e, as well7 'e'%e$ship
in the %and was fluid, changing with eve$y pe$fo$'ance/ played a$ound weste$n aine fo$ ove$ a
yea$, 'ay%e close$ to two yea$s! "n towns all up and down the (este$n 8ine + 9a$'ington,
S#owhegan, .$idgton, 5ates 9alls, 3astle Roc#, o$ton, 9$ye%u$g + you'll still co'e ac$oss thei$
old show*poste$s at %a$n %a=aa$s and &un#ato$iu's! Sa$a and the Red*Tops we$e g$eat favo$ites on
the ci$cuit, and they got along all $ight at ho'e on the TR, too, which neve$ su$p$ised 'e! At the
end of the day Ro%e$t 9$ost + that utilita$ian and often unpleasant poet + was $ightD in the
no$theaste$n th$ee we $eally do %elieve that good fences 'a#e good neigh%o$s! (e s)uaw# and
then #eep a 'ise$ly peace, the #ind with gi'let eyes and a tuc#ed*down 'outh! 'They pay thei$
%ills,' we say! '" ain't neve$ had to shoot one a thei$ dogs,' we say! 'They #eep the'selves to
the'selves,' we say, as if isolation we$e a vi$tue! And, of cou$se, the defining vi$tueD 'They don't
ta#e cha$ity!'
And at so'e point, Sa$a Tidwell %eca'e Sa$a 8aughs!
"n the end, though, TR*;A 'ustn't have %een what they wanted, %ecause afte$ playing a county
fai$ o$ two in the late su''e$ of :;A:, the clan 'oved on! Thei$ neat little ca%ins p$ovided
su''e$*$ental inco'e fo$ the 2ay fa'ily until :;GG, when they %u$ned in the su''e$ fi$es which
cha$$ed the east and no$th sides of the la#e! End of sto$y!
Except fo$ he$ 'usic, that was! He$ 'usic had lived!
" got up f$o' the $oc# " had %een sitting on, st$etched 'y a$'s and 'y %ac#, and wal#ed %ac#
down the lane, singing one of he$ songs as " went!
3HA0TER T(E84E
2u$ing 'y hi#e %ac# down the lane to the house, " t$ied to thin# a%out nothing at all! y fi$st edito$
used to say that eighty*five pe$cent of what goes on in a novelist's head is none of his %usiness, a
senti'ent "'ve neve$ %elieved should %e $est$icted to &ust w$ite$s! So*called highe$ thought is, %y
and la$ge, highly ove$$ated! (hen t$ou%le co'es and steps have to %e ta#en, " find it's gene$ally
%ette$ to &ust stand aside and let the %oys in the %ase'ent do thei$ wo$#! That's %lue*colla$ la%o$
down the$e, non*union guys with lots of 'uscles and tattoos!
"nstinct is thei$ specialty, and they $efe$ p$o%le's upstai$s fo$ actual cogitation only as a last
$eso$t!
(hen " t$ied to call attie 2evo$e, an ext$e'ely peculia$ thing happened + one that had nothing
at all $o do with spoo#s, as fa$ as " could tell! "nstead of an open*hu' line when " pushed the
co$dless's on %utton, " got silence! Then, &ust as " was thin#ing " 'ust have left the phone in the
no$th %ed$oo' off the hoo#, " $eali=ed it wasn't complete silence! 2istant as a $adio t$ans'ission
f$o' deep space, chee$ful and )uac#y as an ani'ated duc#, so'e guy with a fai$ a'ount of
.$oo#lyn in his voice was singingD 'He followed he$ to school one day, school one day, school one
day! 9ollowed he$ to school one day, which was against the $ule ! ! ! '
" opened 'y 'outh to as# who was the$e, %ut %efo$e " could, a wo'an's voice said 'HelloB' She
sounded pe$plexed and dou%tful!
'attieB' "n 'y confusion it neve$ occu$$ed to 'e to call he$ so'ething 'o$e fo$'al, li#e s! o$
$s! 2evo$e! No$ did it see' odd that " should #now who it was, %ased on a single wo$d, even
though ou$ only p$evious conve$sation had %een $elatively %$ief! ay%e the guys in the %ase'ent
$ecogni=ed the %ac#g$ound 'usic and 'ade the connection to 1y$a!
'$! NoonanB' She sounded 'o$e %ewilde$ed than eve$! 'The phone neve$ even $angC'
'" 'ust have pic#ed 'ine up &ust as you$ call was going th$ough,' " said! 'That happens f$o' ti'e
to ti'e!' .ut how 'any ti'es, " wonde$ed, did it happen when the pe$son calling you was the one
you you$self had %een planning to callB ay%e )uite often, actually!
Telepathy o$ coincidenceB 8ive o$ e'o$exB Eithe$ way, it see'ed al'ost 'agical! " loo#ed
ac$oss the long, low living $oo', into the glassy eyes of .unte$ the 'oose, and thoughtD ,es' but
maybe this is a magic place now(
'" suppose,' she said dou%tfully! '" apologi=e a%out calling in the fi$st place + it's a p$esu'ption!
,ou$ nu'%e$'s unlisted, " #now!'
2h' don't worry about that' 1 thought( 4&eryone's got this old number by now( 1n fact' 1'm
thinking about putting it in the ,ellow 6ages(
'" got it f$o' you$ file at the li%$a$y,' she went on, sounding e'%a$$assed! 'That's whe$e " wo$#!'
"n the %ac#g$ound, 'a$y Had a 8ittle 8a'%' had given way to 'The 9a$'e$ in the 2ell!'
'"t's )uite all $ight,' " said!
'Especially since you'$e the pe$son " was pic#ing up the phone to call!'
'eB (hyB'
'8adies fi$st!'
She gave a %$ief, ne$vous laugh! '" wanted to invite you to dinne$! That is, 1i and " want to invite
you to dinne$! " should have done it %efo$e now! ,ou we$e awfully good to us the othe$ day! (ill
you co'eB'
',es,' " said with no hesitation at all! '(ith than#s! (e've got so'e things to tal# a%out, anyway!'
The$e was a pause! "n the %ac#g$ound, the 'ouse was ta#ing the cheese! As a #id " used to thin#
all these things happened in a vast g$ay facto$y called The Hi*Ho 2ai$y*O!
attieB Still the$eB'
'He's d$agged you into it, hasn't heB That awful old 'an!' Now he$ voice sounded not ne$vous %ut
so'ehow dead!
'(ell, yes and no! ,ou could a$gue that fate d$agged 'e into it, o$ coincidence, o$ 5od! " wasn't
the$e that 'o$ning %ecause of ax 2evo$e7 " was chasing the elusive 4illage%u$ge$!'
She didn't laugh, %ut he$ voice %$ightened a little, and " was glad! 0eople who tal# in that dead,
affectless way a$e, %y and la$ge, f$ightened people! So'eti'es people who have %een out$ight
te$$o$i=ed! '"'' still so$$y fo$ d$agging you into 'y t$ou%le!' " had an idea she 'ight sta$t to wonde$
who was d$agging who' afte$ " pitched he$ on 6ohn Sto$$ow, and was glad it was a discussion "
wouldn't have to have with he$ on the phone!
'"n any case, "'d love to co'e to dinne$! (henB'
'(ould this evening %e too soonB'
'A%solutely not!'
'That's wonde$ful! (e have to eat ea$ly, though, so 'y little guy doesn't fall asleep in he$ desse$t!
"s six o#ayB'
',es!'
'1i will %e excited! (e don't have 'uch co'pany!'
'She hasn't %een wande$ing again, has sheB'
" thought she 'ight %e offended! "nstead, this ti'e she did laugh! '5od, no! All the fuss on
Satu$day sca$ed he$! Now she co'es in to tell 'e if she's switching f$o' the swing in the side ya$d
to the sand%ox in %ac#! She's tal#ed a%out you a lot, though! She calls you 'that tall guy who ca$$ot
'e!' " thin# she's wo$$ied you 'ight %e 'ad at he$!'
'Tell he$ "'' not,' " said! 'No, chec# that! "'ll tell he$ 'yself! 3an " %$ing anythingB'
'.ottle of wineB' she as#ed, a little dou%tfully! 'O$ 'ay%e that's p$etentious + " was only going to
coo# ha'%u$ge$s on the g$ill and 'a#e potato salad!'
'"'ll %$ing an unp$etentious %ottle!'
'Than# you,' she said! 'This is so$t of exciting! (e neve$ have co'pany!'
" was ho$$ified to find 'yself on the ve$ge of saying that " thought it was so$t of exciting, too, 'y
fi$st date in fou$ yea$s and all! 'Than#s so 'uch fo$ thin#ing of 'e!'
As " hung up " $e'e'%e$ed 6ohn Sto$$ow advising 'e to t$y and stay visi%le with he$, not to
hand ove$ any ext$a g$ist fo$ the town gossip 'ill! "f she was %a$%ecuing, we'd p$o%a%ly %e out
whe$e people could see we had ou$ clothes on ! ! ! fo$ 'ost of the evening, anyway! She*would,
howeve$, li#ely do the polite thing at so'e point and invite 'e inside! " would then do the polite
thing and go! Ad'i$e he$ velvet Elvis painting on the wall, o$ he$ co''e'o$ative plates f$o' the
9$an#lin int, o$ whateve$ she had going in the way of t$aile$ deco$ation7 "'d let 1y$a show 'e he$
%ed$oo' and exclai' with wonde$ ove$ he$ excellent asso$t'ent of stuffed ani'als and he$ favo$ite
dolly, if that was $e)ui$ed! The$e a$e all so$ts of p$io$ities in life! So'e you$ lawye$ can unde$stand,
%ut " suspect the$e a$e )uite a few he can't!
'A' " handling this $ight, .unte$B' " as#ed the stuffed 'oose! '.ellow once fo$ yes, twice fo$ no!'
" was halfway down the hall leading to the no$th wing, thin#ing of nothing %ut a cool showe$,
when f$o' %ehind 'e, ve$y soft, ca'e a %$ief $ing of the %ell a$ound .unte$'s nec#! " stopped, head
coc#ed, 'y shi$t held in one hand, waiting fo$ the %ell to $ing again! "t didn't! Afte$ a 'inute, " went
the $est of the way to the %ath$oo' and flipped on the showe$!
The 8a#eview 5ene$al had a p$etty good selection of wines tuc#ed away in one co$ne$ + not 'uch
local de'and fo$ it, 'ay%e, %ut the tou$ists p$o%a%ly %ought a fai$ )uantity + and " selected a
%ottle of ondavi $ed! "t was p$o%a%ly a %it 'o$e expensive than attie had had in 'ind, %ut "
could peel the p$ice*stic#e$ off and hope she wouldn't #now the diffe$ence! The$e was a line at the
chec#out, 'ostly fol#s with da'p tee*shi$ts pulled on ove$ thei$ %athing suits and sand f$o' the
pu%lic %each stic#ing to thei$ legs! (hile " was waiting 'y tu$n, 'y eye happened on the i'pulse
ite's which a$e always stoc#ed nea$ the counte$! A'ong the' we$e seve$al plastic %ags la%eled
A5NA.ET, each %ag showing a ca$toon $ef$ige$ato$ with the 'essage .A31 SOON stuc# to it!
Acco$ding to the w$itten info, the$e we$e two sets of consonants in each agna%et, 08US E>TRA
4O(E8S! " g$a%%ed two sets ! ! ! then added a thi$d, thin#ing that attie 2evo$e's #id was p$o%a%ly
&ust the $ight age fo$ such an ite'!
1y$a saw 'e pulling into the weedy doo$ya$d, &u'ped off the slu'py little swingset %eside the
t$aile$, %olted to he$ 'othe$, and hid %ehind he$! (hen " app$oached the hi%achi which had %een set
up %eside the cinde$%loc# f$ont steps, the child who'd spo#en to 'e so fea$lessly on Satu$day was
&ust a pee#ing %lue eye and a chu%%y hand g$asping a fold of he$ 'othe$'s sund$ess %elow the hip!
Two hou$s %$ought conside$a%le changes, howeve$! As twilight deepened, 1y$a sat on 'y lap in
the t$aile$'s living $oo', listening ca$efully + if with g$owing woo=iness + as " $ead he$ the eve$*
enth$alling sto$y of 3inde$ella! The couch we we$e on was a shade of %$own which can %y law only
%e sold in discount sto$es, and ext$e'ely lu'py into the %a$gain, %ut " still felt asha'ed of 'y
casual p$econceptions a%out what " would find inside this t$aile$! On the wall a%ove and %ehind us
the$e was an Edwa$d Hoppe$ p$int + that one of a lonely lunch counte$ late at night + and ac$oss
the $oo', ove$ the s'all 9o$'ica*topped ta%le in the #itchen noo#, was one of 4incent van 5ogh's
'Sunflowers'! Even 'o$e than the Hoppe$, it loo#ed at ho'e in attie 2evo$e's dou%lewide! " have
no idea why that should have %een t$ue, %ut it was!
'5lass slippe$ will cut he$ footie,' 1i said in a 'u==y, conside$ing way!
'No way,' " said! 'Slippe$*glass was specially 'ade in the 1ingdo' of 5$i'oi$e! S'ooth and
un%$ea#a%le, as long as you didn't sing high 3 while wea$ing the'!'
'" get a pai$B'
'So$$y, 1i,' " said, 'no one #nows how to 'a#e slippe$*glass any'o$e!
"t's a lost a$t, li#e Toledo steel!' "t was hot in the t$aile$ and she was hot against 'y shi$t, whe$e
he$ uppe$ %ody lay, %ut " wouldn't have changed it! Having a #id on 'y lap was p$etty g$eat!
Outside, he$ 'othe$ was singing and gathe$ing up dishes f$o' the ca$d ta%le we'd used fo$ ou$
picnic! Hea$ing he$ sing was also p$etty g$eat!
'5o on, go on,' 1y$a said, pointing to the pictu$e of 3inde$ella sc$u%%ing the floo$! The little gi$l
pee#ing ne$vously a$ound he$ 'othe$'s leg was gone7 the ang$y "''*going*to*the*da'n*%each gi$l
of Satu$day 'o$ning was gone7 he$e was only a sleepy #id who was p$etty and %$ight and t$usting!
'.efo$e " can't hold it any'o$e!'
'2o you need to go pee*peeB'
'No,' she said, loo#ing at 'e with so'e disdain! '.esides, that's you*$inating! 0eas a$e what you
eat with 'eatloaf, that's what attie says! And " al$eady went! .ut if you don't go fast on the sto$y,
"'ll fall to sleep!'
',ou can't hu$$y sto$ies with 'agic in the', 1i!'
'(ell go as fast as you can!'
'O#ay!' " tu$ned the page! He$e was 3inde$ella, t$ying to %e a good spo$t, waving good%ye to he$
asshole siste$s as they went off to the %all d$essed li#e sta$lets at a disco!'
'No soone$ had 3inde$ella said good%ye to Ta''y 9aye and 4anna + ''
'Those a$e the siste$s' na'esB'
'The ones " 'ade up fo$ the', yes! "s that o#ayB'
'Su$e!' She settled 'o$e co'fo$ta%ly on 'y lap and d$opped he$ head against 'y chest again!
''No soone$ had 3inde$ella said good%ye to Ta''y 9aye and 4anna than a %$ight light suddenly
appea$ed in the co$ne$ of the #itchen! Stepping out of it was a %eautiful lady in a silve$ gown! The
&ewels in he$ hai$ glowed li#e sta$s!''
'9ai$y god'othe$,' 1y$a said 'atte$*of*factly!
',es!' attie ca'e in ca$$ying the $e'aining half*%ottle of ondavi and the %lac#ened %a$%ecue
i'ple'ents! He$ sund$ess was %$ight $ed! On he$ feet she wo$e low*topped snea#e$s so white that
they see'ed to flash in the gloo'! He$ hai$ was tied %ac# and although she still wasn't the go$geous
count$y*clu% %a%e " had %$iefly envisioned, she was ve$y p$etty! Now she loo#ed at 1y$a, loo#ed at
'e, $aised he$ eye%$ows, 'ade a lifting gestu$e with he$ a$'s! " shoo# 'y head, sending %ac# a
'essage that neithe$ of us was $eady )uite yet!
" $esu'ed $eading while attie went to wo$# sc$u%%ing he$ few coo#ing tools! She was still
hu''ing! .y the ti'e she had finished with the spatula, 1i's %ody had ta#en on an additional
$elaxation which " $ecogni=ed at once + she'd con#ed out, and ha$d! " closed the %ittle -olden
"reasury of /airy "ales and put it on the coffee*ta%le %eside a couple of othe$ stac#ed %oo#s +
whateve$ attie was $eading, " p$esu'ed! " loo#ed up, saw he$ loo#ing %ac# at 'e f$o' the
#itchen, and flic#ed he$ the 4*fo$*4icto$y sign! 'Noonan, the winne$ %y a technical #noc#out in the
eighth $ound,' " said!
attie d$ied he$ hands on a dishtowel and ca'e ove$! '5ive he$ to 'e!'
" stood up with 1y$a in 'y a$'s instead! '"'ll ca$$y! (he$eB'
She pointed! 'On the left!'
" ca$$ied the %a%y down the hallway, which was na$$ow enough so " had to %e ca$eful not to
%u'p he$ feet on one side o$ the top of he$ head on the othe$! At the end of the hall was the
%ath$oo', st$ingently clean! On the $ight was a closed doo$ which led, " assu'ed, into the %ed$oo'
attie had once sha$ed with 8ance 2evo$e and whe$e she now slept alone! "f the$e was a %oyf$iend
who ove$nighted even so'e of the ti'e, attie had done a good &o% of e$asing his p$esence f$o'
the t$aile$!
" slid ca$efully th$ough the doo$ on the left and loo#ed at the little %ed with its $uffled cove$let of
ca%%age $oses, the ta%le with the doll*house on it, the pictu$e of the E'e$ald 3ity on one wall, the
sign -done in shiny stic#*on lette$s/ on anothe$ one that $ead 3ASA 1,RA! 2evo$e wanted to ta#e
he$ away f$o' he$e, a place whe$e nothing was w$ong + whe$e, to the cont$a$y, eve$ything was
pe$fectly $ight! 3asa 1y$a was the $oo' of a little gi$l who was g$owing up o#ay!
'0ut he$ on the %ed and then go pou$ you$self anothe$ glass of wine,' attie said! '"'ll =ip he$ into
he$ p&'s and &oin you! " #now we've got stuff to tal# a%out!'
'O#ay!' " put he$ down, then %ent a little fa$the$, 'eaning to plant a #iss on he$ nose! " al'ost
thought %ette$ of it, then did it anyway! (hen " left, attie was s'iling, so " guess it was o#ay!
" pou$ed 'yself a little 'o$e wine, wal#ed %ac# into the sc$ap of living $oo' with it, and loo#ed at
the two %oo#s %eside 1i's fai$y*tale collection! "'' always cu$ious a%out what people a$e $eading7
the only %ette$ insight into the' is the contents of thei$ 'edicine ca%inets, and $u''aging th$ough
you$ host's d$ugs and nost$u's is f$owned upon %y the %ette$ class!
The %oo#s we$e diffe$ent enough to )ualify as schi=oid! One, with a playing*ca$d %oo#'a$#
a%out th$ee )ua$te$s of the way th$ough, was the pape$%ac# edition of Richa$d No$th 0atte$son's
Silent Witness! " applauded he$ taste7 0atte$son and 2eille a$e p$o%a%ly the %est of the cu$$ent
popula$ novelists! The othe$, a ha$dcove$ to'e of so'e weight, was "he ollected Short Works of
.erman #el&ille! A%out as fa$ f$o' Richa$d No$th 0atte$son as you could get! Acco$ding to the
faded pu$ple in# sta'ped on the thic#ness of the pages, this volu'e %elonged to 9ou$ 8a#es
3o''unity 8i%$a$y! That was a lovely little stone %uilding a%out five 'iles south of 2a$# Sco$e
8a#e, whe$e Route L? passes off the TR and into otton! (he$e attie wo$#ed, p$esu'a%ly! "
opened to he$ %oo#'a$#, anothe$ playing ca$d, and saw she was $eading '.a$tle%y!'
'" don't unde$stand that,' she said f$o' %ehind 'e, sta$tling 'e so %adly that " al'ost d$opped the
%oo#s! '" li#e it + it's a good enough sto$y + %ut " haven't the slightest idea what it 'eans! The
othe$ one, now, "'ve even figu$ed out who did it!'
'"t's a st$ange pai$ to $ead in tande',' " said, putting the' %ac# down! 'The 0atte$son "'' $eading
fo$ pleasu$e,' attie said! She went into the #itchen, loo#ed %$iefly -and with so'e longing, "
thought/ at the %ottle of wine, then opened the f$idge and too# out a pitche$ of 1ool*Aid! On the
f$idge doo$ we$e wo$ds he$ daughte$ had al$eady asse'%led f$o' he$ agna%et %agD 1" and ATT"E
and HOHO -Santa 3laus, " p$esu'ed/! '(ell, "'' $eading the' %oth fo$ pleasu$e, " guess, %ut we'$e
due to discuss '.a$tle%y' in this little g$oup "'' a pa$t of! (e 'eet Thu$sday nights at the li%$a$y!
"'ve still got a%out ten pages to go!'
'A $eade$s' ci$cle!'
'Uh*huh! $s! .$iggs leads! She fo$'ed it long %efo$e " was %o$n! She's the head li%$a$ian at 9ou$
8a#es, you #now!'
'" do! 8indy .$iggs is 'y ca$eta#e$'s siste$*in*law!'
attie s'iled! 'S'all wo$ld, isn't itB'
'No, it's a %ig wo$ld %ut a s'all town!'
She sta$ted to lean %ac# against the counte$ with he$ glass of 1ool*Aid, then thought %ette$ of it!
'(hy don't we go outside and sitB That way anyone passing can see that we'$e still d$essed and that
we don't have anything on inside*out!'
" loo#ed at he$, sta$tled She loo#ed %ac# with a #ind of cynical good hu'o$! "t wasn't an
exp$ession that loo#ed pa$ticula$ly at ho'e on he$ face!
'" 'ay only %e twenty*one, %ut "'' not stupid,' she said! 'He's watching 'e! " #now it, and you
p$o%a%ly do, too! On anothe$ night " 'ight %e te'pted to say fuc# hi' if he can't ta#e a &o#e, %ut
it's coole$ out the$e and the s'o#e f$o' the hi%achi will #eep the wo$st of the %ugs away! Have "
shoc#ed youB "f so, "'' so$$y!'
',ou haven't!' She had, a little! 'No need to apologi=e!'
(e ca$$ied ou$ d$in#s down the not*)uite*steady cinde$%loc# steps and sat side*%y*side in a
couple of lawn*chai$s! To the left of us the coals in the hi%achi glowed soft $ose in the g$owing
gloo'! attie leaned %ac#, placed the cold cu$ve of he$ glass %$iefly against he$ fo$ehead, then
d$an# 'ost of what was left, the ice cu%es sliding against he$ teeth with a clic# and a $attle!
3$ic#ets hu''ed in the woods %ehind the t$aile$ and ac$oss the $oad! 9a$the$ up Highway L?, "
could see the %$ight white fluo$escents ove$ the gas island at the 8a#eview 5ene$al! The seat of 'y
chai$ was a little %aggy, the inte$woven st$aps a little f$ayed, and the old gi$l canted p$etty seve$ely
to the left, %ut the$e was still no place "'d $athe$ have %een sitting &ust then! This evening had tu$ned
out to %e a )uiet little 'i$acle! ! at least, so fa$! (e still had 6ohn Sto$$ow to get to!
'"'' glad you ca'e on a Tuesday,' she said! 'Tuesday nights a$e ha$d fo$ 'e! "'' always thin#ing
of the %allga'e down at (a$$ington's! The guys'll %e pic#ing up the gea$ %y now + the %ats and
%ases and catche$'s 'as# + *and putting it %ac# in the sto$age ca%inet %ehind ho'e plate! 2$in#ing
thei$ last %ee$s and s'o#ing thei$ last ciga$ettes! That's whe$e " 'et 'y hus%and, you #now! "''
su$e you've %een told all that %y now!'
" couldn't see he$ face clea$ly, %ut " could hea$ the faint tinge of %itte$ness which had c$ept into
he$ voice, and guessed she was still wea$ing the cynical exp$ession! "t was too old fo$ he$, %ut "
thought she'd co'e %y it honestly enough! Although if she didn't watch out, it would ta#e $oot and
g$ow!
'" hea$d a ve$sion f$o' .ill, yes + 8indy's %$othe$*in*law!'
'Oh ayuh + ou$ sto$y's on $etail! ,ou can get it at the sto$e, o$ the 4illage 3afe, o$ at that old
%la%%e$'outh's ga$age ! ! ! which 'y fathe$*in*law $escued f$o' (este$n Savings, %y the way! He
stepped in &ust %efo$e the %an# could fo$eclose! Now 2ic#ie .$oo#s and his c$onies thin# ax
2evo$e is wal#ing tal#ing 6esus! " hope you got a fai$e$ ve$sion f$o' $! 2ean than you'd get at the
All*0u$pose! ,ou 'ust've, o$ you wouldn't have $is#ed eating ha'%u$ge$s with 6e=e%el!'
" wanted to get away f$o' that, if " could + he$ ange$ was unde$standa%le %ut useless! Of cou$se
it was easie$ fo$ 'e to see that7 it wasn't 'y #id who had %een tu$ned into the hand#e$chief tied at
the cente$ of a tug*of*wa$ $ope! 'They still play soft%all at (a$$ington'sB Even though 2evo$e
%ought the placeB'
',es indeed! He goes down to the field in his 'oto$i=ed wheelchai$ eve$y Tuesday evening and
watches! The$e a$e othe$ things he's done since he ca'e %ac# he$e that a$e &ust atte'pts to %uy the
town's good opinion, %ut " thin# he genuinely loves the soft%all ga'es! The (hit*'o$e wo'an
goes, too! .$ings an ext$a oxygen tan# along in a little $ed wheel%a$$ow with a whitewall ti$e on the
f$ont! She #eeps a fielde$'s 'itt in the$e, too, in case any foul pops co'e up ove$ the %ac#stop to
whe$e he sits! He caught one nea$ the sta$t of the season, " hea$d, and got a standing O f$o' the
playe$s and the fol#s who co'e to watch!'
'5oing to the ga'es puts hi' in touch with his son, you thin#B'
attie s'iled g$i'ly! '" don't thin# 8ance so 'uch as c$osses his 'ind, not when he's at the
%allfield! They play ha$d at (a$$ington's + slide into ho'e with thei$ feet up, &u'p into the
puc#e$%$ush fo$ the fly%alls, cu$se each othe$ when they do so'ething w$ong + and that's what old
ax 2evo$e en&oys, that's why he neve$ 'isses a Tuesday evening ga'e! He li#es to watch the'
slide and get up %leeding!'
'"s that how 8ance playedB
She thought a%out it ca$efully! 'He played ha$d, %ut he wasn't c$a=ed! He was the$e &ust fo$ the
fun of it! (e all we$e! (e wo'en + shit, $eally &ust us gi$ls, .a$ney The$$iault's wife, 3indy, was
only sixteen + we'd stand %ehind the %ac#stop on the fi$st*%ase side, s'o#ing ciga$ettes o$ waving
pun#s to #eep the %ugs away, chee$ing ou$ guys when they did so'ething good, laughing when
they did so'ething stupid! (e'd swap sodas o$ sha$e a can of %ee$! "'d ad'i$e Helen 5ea$y's twins
and she'd #iss 1i unde$ the chin until 1i giggled! So'eti'es we'd go down to the 4illage 3afe
afte$wa$d and .uddy'd 'a#e us pi==as, lose$s pay! All f$iends again, you #now, a te$ the ga'e!
(e'd sit the$e laughing and yelling and %lowing st$aw*w$appe$s a$ound, so'e of the guys half*
loaded %ut no%ody 'ean! "n those days they got all the 'ean out on the %allfield! And you #now
whatB None of the' co'e to see 'e! Not Helen 5ea$y, who was 'y %est f$iend! Not Richie
8atti'o$e, who was 8ance's %est f$iend + the two of the' would tal# a%out $oc#s and %i$ds and
the #inds of t$ees the$e we$e ac$oss the la#e fo$ hou$s on end! They ca'e to the une$al, and fo$ a
little while afte$, and then ! ! ! you #now what it was li#eB (hen " was a #id, ou$ well d$ied up! 9o$
awhile you'd get a t$ic#le when you tu$ned on the tap, %ut then the$e was &ust ai$! 6ust ai$!' The
cynicis' was gone and the$e was only hu$t in he$ voice! '" saw Helen at 3h$ist'as, and we
p$o'ised to get togethe$ fo$ the twins' %i$thday, %ut we neve$ did! " thin# she's sca$ed to co'e nea$
'e!'
'.ecause of the old 'anB'
'(ho elseB .ut that's o#ay, life goes on!' She sat up, d$an# the $est of he$ 1ool*Aid, and set the
glass aside! '(hat a%out you, i#eB 2id you co'e %ac# to w$ite a %oo#B A$e you going to na'e
the TRB' This was a local bon mot that " $e'e'%e$ed with an al'ost painful twinge of nostalgia!
8ocals with g$eat plans we$e said to %e %ent on na'ing the TR!
'No,' " said, and then astonished 'yself %y sayingD '" don't do that any'o$e! " thin# " expected he$
to leap to he$ feet, ove$tu$ning he$ chai$ and utte$ing a sha$p c$y of ho$$ified denial! All of which
says a good deal a%out 'e, " suppose, and none of it flatte$ing!
',ou've $eti$edB' she as#ed, sounding cal' and $e'a$#a%ly unho$$ified! 'O$ is it w$ite$'s %loc#B'
'(ell, it's ce$tainly not chosen $eti$e'ent!' " $eali=ed the conve$sation had ta#en a $athe$ a'using
tu$n! "'d co'e p$i'a$ily to sell he$ on 6ohn Sto$$ow + to shove 6ohn Sto$$ow down he$ th$oat, if
that was what it too# + and instead " was fo$ the fi$st ti'e discussing 'y ina%ility to wo$#! 9o$ the
fi$st ti'e with anyone!
'So it's a %loc#!'
'" used to thin# so, %ut now "'' not so su$e! " thin# novelists 'ay co'e e)uipped with a ce$tain
nu'%e$ of sto$ies to tell + they'$e %uilt into the softwa$e! And when they'$e gone, they'$e gone!'
'" dou%t that,' she said! 'ay%e you'll w$ite now that you'$e down he$e! ay%e that's pa$t of the
$eason you ca'e %ac#!'
'ay%e you'$e $ight!'
'A$e you sca$edB'
'So'eti'es! ostly a%out what "'ll do fo$ the $est of 'y life! "'' no good at %oats in %ottles, and
'y wife was the one with the g$een thu'%!'
'"'' sca$ed, too,' she said! 'Sca$ed a lot! All the ti'e now, it see's li#e!'
'That he'll win his custody caseB attie, that's what " + '
'The custody case is only pa$t of it,' she said! '"'' sca$ed &ust to %e he$e, on the TR! "t sta$ted
ea$ly this su''e$, long afte$ " #new 2evo$e 'eant to get 1i away f$o' 'e if he could! And it's
getting wo$se! "n a way it's li#e watching thunde$heads gathe$ ove$ New Ha'pshi$e and then co'e
piling ac$oss the la#e! " can't put it any %ette$ than that, except ! ! ! ' She shifted, c$ossing he$ legs
and then %ending fo$wa$d to pull the s#i$t of he$ d$ess against the line of he$ shin, as if she we$e
cold! 'Except that "'ve wo#en up seve$al ti'es lately, su$e that " wasn't in the %ed$oo' alone! Once
when " was su$e " wasn't in the bed alone! So'eti'es it's &ust a feeling + li#e a headache, only in
you$ ne$ves + and so'eti'es " thin# " can hea$ whispe$ing, o$ c$ying! " 'ade a ca#e one night +
a%out two wee#s ago, this was + and fo$got to put the flou$ away! The next 'o$ning the canniste$
was ove$tu$ned, and the flou$ was spilled on the counte$! So'eone had w$itten 'hello' in it! "
thought at fi$st it was 1i, %ut she said she didn't do it! .esides, it wasn't he$ p$inting, he$s is all
st$aggly! " don't #now if she could even w$ite hello! Hi, 'ay%e, %ut ! ! ! i#e, you don't thin# he
could %e sending so'eone a$ound to t$y and f$ea# 'e out, do youB " 'ean that's &ust stupid, $ightB'
'" don't #now,' " said! " thought of so'ething thu'ping the insulation in the da$# as " stood on the
stai$s! " thought of hello p$inted with 'agnets on 'y $ef$ige$ato$ doo$, and a child so%%ing in the
da$#! y s#in felt 'o$e than cold7 it felt nu'%! A headache in the ne$ves, that was good, that was
exactly how you felt when so'ething $eached a$ound the wall of the $eal wo$ld and touched you on
the nape of the nec#!
'ay%e it's ghosts,' she said, and s'iled in an unce$tain way that was 'o$e f$ightened than
a'used!
" opened 'y 'outh to tell he$ a%out what had %een happening at Sa$a 8aughs, then closed it
again! The$e was a clea$ choice to %e 'ade he$eD eithe$ we could %e sidet$ac#ed into a discussion of
the pa$ano$'al, o$ we could co'e %ac# to the visi%le wo$ld! The one whe$e ax 2evo$e was t$ying
to steal hi'self a #id!
',eah,' " said! 'The spi$its a$e a%out to spea#!'
'" wish " could see you$ face %ette$! The$e was so'ething on it &ust then! (hatB'
'" don't #now,' " said! '.ut $ight now " thin# we'd %ette$ tal# a%out 1y$a! O#ayB'
'O#ay!' "n the faint glow of the hi%achi " could see he$ settling he$self in he$ chai$, as if to ta#e a
%low!
'"'ve %een su%poenaed to give a deposition in 3astle Roc# on 9$iday! .efo$e El'e$ 2u$gin, who
is 1y$a's gua$dian ad lite' + '
'That po'pous little toad isn't 1i's anythingC' she %u$st out! 'He's in 'y fathe$*in*law's hip
poc#et, &ust li#e 2ic#ie Osgood, old ax's pet $eal*estate guyC 2ic#ie and El'e$ 2u$gin d$in#
togethe$ down at The ellow Tige$, o$ at least they did until this %usiness $eally got going! Then
so'eone p$o%a%ly told the' it would loo# %ad, and they stopped!'
'The pape$s we$e se$ved %y a deputy na'ed 5eo$ge 9oot'an!'
'6ust one 'o$e of the usual suspects,' attie said in a thin voice! '2ic#ie Osgood's a sna#e, %ut
5eo$ge 9oot'an's a &un#ya$d dog! He's %een suspended off the cops twice! Once 'o$e and he can
wo$# fo$ ax 2evo$e full*ti'e!'
'(ell, he sca$ed 'e! " t$ied not to show it, %ut he did! And people who sca$e 'e 'a#e 'e ang$y!
" called 'y agent in New ,o$# and then hi$ed a lawye$! One who 'a#es a specialty of child*
custody cases!'
" t$ied to see how she was ta#ing this and couldn't, although we we$e sitting fai$ly close togethe$!
.ut she still had that set loo#, li#e a wo'an who expects to ta#e so'e ha$d %lows! O$ pe$haps fo$
attie the %lows had al$eady sta$ted to fall! Slowly, not allowing 'yself to $ush, " went th$ough 'y
conve$sation with 6ohn Sto$$ow! " e'phasi=ed what Sto$$ow had said a%out sexual e)uality + that
it was apt to %e a negative fo$ce in he$ case, 'a#ing it easie$ fo$ 6udge Rancou$t to ta#e 1y$a away!
" also ca'e down ha$d on the fact that 2evo$e could have all the lawye$s he wanted + not to
'ention sy'pathetic witnesses, with Richa$d Osgood $unning a$ound the TR and sp$eading
2evo$e's dough + %ut that the cou$t wasn't o%ligated to t$eat he$ to so 'uch as an ice c$ea' cone! "
finished %y telling he$ that 6ohn wanted to tal# to one of us to'o$$ow at eleven, and that it should
%e he$! Then " waited! The silence spun out, %$o#en only %y c$ic#ets and the faint $evving of so'e
#id's un'uffled t$uc#! Up Route L?, the white fluo$escents went out as the 8a#eview a$#et
finished anothe$ day of su''e$ t$ade! " didn't li#e attie's )uiet7 it see'ed li#e the p$elude to an
explosion! A ,ankee explosion! " held 'y peace and waited fo$ he$ to as# 'e what gave 'e the
$ight to 'eddle in he$ %usiness!
(hen she finally spo#e, he$ voice was low and defeated! "t hu$t to hea$ he$ sounding that way,
%ut li#e the cynical loo# on he$ face ea$lie$, it wasn't su$p$ising! And " ha$dened 'yself against it as
%est " could! Hey, attie, tough old wo$ld! 0ic# one!
'(hy would you do thisB' she as#ed! '(hy would you hi$e an expensive New ,o$# lawye$ to
ta#e 'y caseB That is what you'$e offe$ing, isn't itB "t's got to %e, %ecause " su$e can't hi$e hi'! " got
thi$ty thousand dolla$s' insu$ance 'oney when 8ance died, and was luc#y to get that! "t was a
policy he %ought f$o' one of his (a$$ington's f$iends, al'ost as a &o#e, %ut without it " would have
lost the t$aile$ last winte$! They 'ay love 2ic#ie .$oo#s at (este$n Savings, %ut they don't give a
$at's ass fo$ attie Stanchfield 2evo$e! Afte$ taxes " 'a#e a%out a hund$ed a wee# at the li%$a$y! So
you'$e offe$ing to pay! RightB'
'Right!'
'(hyB ,ou don't even #now us!'
'.ecause ! ! ! ' " t$ailed off! " see' to $e'e'%e$ wanting 6o to step in at that point, as#ing 'y
'ind to supply he$ voice, which " could then pass on to attie in 'y own! .ut 6o didn't co'e! "
was flying solo!
'.ecause now " do nothing that 'a#es a diffe$ence,' " said at last, and once again the wo$ds
astonished 'e! 'And " do #now you! "'ve eaten you$ food, "'ve $ead 1i a sto$y and had he$ fall
asleep in 'y lap ! ! ! and 'ay%e " saved he$ life the othe$ day when " g$a%%ed he$ out of the $oad!
(e'll neve$ #now fo$ su$e, %ut 'ay%e " did! ,ou #now what the 3hinese say a%out so'ething li#e
thatB'
" didn't expect an answe$, the )uestion was 'o$e $heto$ical than $eal, %ut she su$p$ised 'e! Not
fo$ the last ti'e, eithe$! 'That if you save so'eone's life, you'$e $esponsi%le fo$ the'!'
',es! "t's also a%out what's fai$ and what's $ight, %ut " thin# 'ostly it's a%out wanting to %e pa$t of
so'ething whe$e " 'a#e a diffe$ence! " loo# %ac# on the fou$ yea$s since 'y wife died, and the$e's
nothing the$e! Not even a %oo# whe$e a$&o$ie the shy typist 'eets a handso'e st$ange$!'
She sat thin#ing this ove$, watching as a fully loaded pulpt$uc# sno$ed past on the highway, its
headlights gla$ing and its load of logs swaying f$o' side to side li#e the hips of an ove$weight
wo'an! '2on't you root fo$ us,' she said at last! She spo#e in a low, unexpectedly fie$ce voice!
'2on't you $oot fo$ us li#e he $oots fo$ his tea'*of*the*wee# down at the soft%all field! " need help
and " #now it, %ut " won't have that! " can't have it! (e'$e not a ga'e, 1i and 'e! ,ou unde$standB'
'0e$fectly!'
',ou #now what people in town will say, don't youB'
',es!'
'"'' a luc#y gi$l, don't you thin#B 9i$st " 'a$$y the son of an ext$e'ely $ich 'an, and afte$ he
dies, " fall unde$ the p$otective wing of anothe$ $ich guy! Next "'ll p$o%a%ly 'ove in with 2onald
T$u'p!'
'3ut it out!'
'"'d p$o%a%ly %elieve it 'yself, if " we$e on the othe$ side! .ut " wonde$ if anyone notices that
luc#y attie is still living in a odai$ t$aile$ and can't affo$d health insu$ance! O$ that he$ #id got
'ost of he$ vaccinations f$o' the 3ounty Nu$se! y pa$ents died when " was fifteen! " have a
%$othe$ and a siste$, %ut they'$e %oth a lot olde$ and %oth out of state! y pa$ents we$e d$un#s +
not physically a%usive, %ut the$e was plenty of the othe$ #inds! "t was li#e g$owing up in a ! ! ! a
$oach 'otel! y dad was a pulpe$, 'y 'o' was a %ou$%on %eautician whose one a'%ition was to
own a a$y 1ay pin# 3adillac! He d$owned in 1ewadin 0ond! She d$owned in he$ own vo'it
a%out six 'onths late$! How do you li#e it so fa$B'
'Not ve$y 'uch! "'' so$$y!'
'Afte$ o''s fune$al 'y %$othe$, Hugh, offe$ed to ta#e 'e %ac# to Rhode "sland, %ut " could tell
his wife wasn't exactly nuts a%out having a fifteen*yea$*old &oin the fa'ily, and " can't say that "
%la'ed he$! Also, "'d &ust 'ade the &v chee$ing s)uad! That see's li#e sup$e'e diddlyshit now, %ut
it was a ve$y %ig deal then!'
Of cou$se it had %een a %ig deal, especially to the child of alcoholics! The only one still living at
ho'e! .eing that last child, watching as the disease $eally digs its claws in, can %e one of the
wo$ld's loneliest &o%s! 8ast one out of the sac$ed gin'ill please tu$n off the lights!
'" ended up going to live with 'y aunt 9lo$ence, &ust two 'iles down the $oad! "t too# us a%out
th$ee wee#s to discove$ we didn't li#e each othe$ ve$y 'uch, %ut we 'ade it wo$# fo$ two yea$s!
Then, %etween 'y &unio$ and senio$ yea$s, " got a su''e$ &o% at (a$$ington's and 'et 8ance!
(hen he as#ed 'e to 'a$$y hi', Aunt 9lo $efused to give pe$'ission! (hen " told he$ " was
p$egnant, she e'ancipated 'e so " didn't need it!'
',ou d$opped out of schoolB'
She g$i'aced, nodded! '" didn't want to spend six 'onths having people watch 'e swell up li#e a
%alloon! 8ance suppo$ted 'e! He said " could ta#e the e)uivalency test! " did last yea$! "t was easy!
And now 1i and " a$e on ou$ own! Even if 'y aunt ag$eed to help 'e, what could she doB She
wo$#s in the 3astle Roc# 5o$e*Tex facto$y and 'a#es a%out sixteen thousand dolla$s a yea$!'
" nodded again, thin#ing that 'y last chec# fo$ 9$ench $oyalties had %een a%out that! y last
!uarterly chec#! Then " $e'e'%e$ed so'ething 1i had told 'e on the day " 'et he$!
'(hen " was ca$$ying 1y$a out of the $oad, she said that if you we$e 'ad, she'd go to he$ white
nana! "f you$ fol#s a$e dead, who did she + ' Except " didn't $eally have to as#7 " only had to 'a#e
one o$ two si'ple connections! 'Rogette (hit'o$e's the white nanaB 2evo$e's assistantB .ut that
'eans ! ! ! '
'That 1i's %een with the'! ,es, you %et! Until late last 'onth, " allowed he$ to visit he$ g$andpa
+ and Rogette %y association, of cou$se + )uite often! Once o$ twice a wee#, and so'eti'es fo$
an ove$night! She li#es he$ K(hita poppaK + at least she did at fi$st + and she a%solutely ado$es
that c$eepy wo'an!' " thought attie shive$ed in the gloo', although the night was still ve$y wa$'!
'2evo$e called to say he was co'ing east fo$ 8ance's fune$al and to as# if he could see his
g$anddaughte$ while he was he$e! Nice as pie, he was, &ust as if he'd neve$ t$ied to %uy 'e off when
8ance told hi' we we$e going to get 'a$$ied!'
'2id heB'
'Uh*huh! The fi$st offe$ was a hund$ed thousand! That was in August of :;;<, afte$ 8ance called
hi' to say we we$e getting 'a$$ied in 'id*Septe'%e$! " #ept )uiet a%out it! A wee# late$, the offe$
went up to two hund$ed thousand!'
'9o$ what, p$eciselyB'
'To $e'ove 'y %itch*hoo#s and $elocate with no fo$wa$ding add$ess! This ti'e " did tell 8ance,
and he hit the $oof! 3alled his old 'an and said we we$e going to %e 'a$$ied whethe$ he li#ed it o$
not! Told hi' that if he eve$ wanted to see his g$andchild, he had %ette$ cut the shit and %ehave!'
'(ith anothe$ pa$ent, " thought, that was p$o%a%ly the 'ost $easona%le $esponse 8ance 2evo$e
could have 'ade! " $espected hi' fo$ it! The only p$o%le' was that he wasn't dealing with a
$easona%le 'an7 he was dealing with the fellow who, as a child, had stolen Scoote$ 8a$$i%ee's new
sled!
'These offe$s we$e 'ade %y 2evo$e hi'self, ove$ the telephone! .oth when 8ance wasn't a$ound!
Then, a%out ten days %efo$e the wedding, " had a visit f$o' 2ic#ie Osgood! " was to 'a#e a call to
a nu'%e$ in 2elawa$e, and when " did ! ! ! ' attie shoo# he$ head! ',ou wouldn't %elieve it! "t's li#e
so'ething out of one of you$ %oo#s!'
'ay " guessB'
'"f you want!'
'He t$ied to %uy the child! He t$ied to %uy 1y$a!'
He$ eyes widened! A scantling 'oon had co'e up and " could see that loo# of su$p$ise well
enough!
'How 'uchB' " as#ed! '"'' cu$ious! How 'uch fo$ you to give %i$th, leave 2evo$e's g$andchild
with 8ance, then scatB'
'Two 'illion dolla$s,' she whispe$ed! '2eposited in the %an# of 'y choice, as long as it was west
of the ississippi and " signed an ag$ee'ent to stay away f$o' he$ + and f$o' 8ance + until at
least Ap$il twentieth, FA:L!'
'The yea$ 1i tu$ns twenty*one!'
',es!'
'And Osgood doesn't #now any of the details, so 2evo$e's s#i$ts $e'ain clean he$e in town!'
'Uh*huh! And the two 'illion was only the sta$t! The$e was to %e an additional 'illion on 1i's
fifth, tenth, fifteenth, and twentieth %i$thdays!' She shoo# he$ head in a dis%elieving way! 'The
linoleu' #eeps %u%%ling up in the #itchen, the showe$head #eeps falling into the tu%, and the whole
da'n $ig cants to the east these days, %ut " could have %een the six*'illion*dolla$ wo'an!'
Did you e&er consider taking the off' #attie? " wonde$ed ! ! ! %ut that was a )uestion "'d neve$
as#, a sign of cu$iosity so unsee'ly it dese$ved no satisfaction!
'2id you tell 8anceB'
'" t$ied not to! He was al$eady fu$ious with his fathe$, and " didn't want to 'a#e it wo$se! " didn't
want that 'uch hate at the sta$t of ou$ 'a$$iage, no 'atte$ how good the $easons fo$ hating 'ight
%e ! ! ! and " didn't want 8ance to ! ! ! late$ on with 'e, you #now ! ! ! ' She $aised he$ hands, then
d$opped the' %ac# on he$ thighs! The gestu$e was %oth wea$y and oddly endea$ing!
',ou didn't want 8ance tu$ning on you ten yea$s late$ and saying 'K,ou ca'e %etween 'e and
'y fathe$, you %itch!'''
'So'ething li#e that! .ut in the end, " couldn't #eep it to 'yself! " was &ust this #id f$o' the
stic#s, didn't own a pai$ of pantyhose until " was eleven, wo$e 'y hai$ in nothing %ut %$aids o$ a
ponytail until " was thi$teen, thought the whole state of New ,o$# was New ,o$# 3ity ! ! ! and this
guy ! ! ! this phantom father ! ! ! had offe$ed 'e si$ million bucks! "t te$$ified 'e! " had d$ea's
a%out hi' co'ing in the night li#e a t$oll and stealing 'y %a%y out of he$ c$i%! He'd co'e
w$iggling th$ough the window li#e a sna#e ! ! ! '
'2$agging his oxygen tan# %ehind hi', no dou%t!'
She s'iled! '" didn't #now a%out the oxygen then! O$ Rogette (hit*'o$e, eithe$! All "'' t$ying to
say is that " was only seventeen and not good at #eeping sec$ets!' " had to $est$ain 'y own s'ile at
the way she said this + as if decades of expe$ience now lay %etween that naive, f$ightened child
and this 'atu$e wo'an with the 'ail*o$de$ diplo'a!
'8ance was ang$y!'
'So ang$y he $eplied to his fathe$ %y e*'ail instead of calling! He stutte$ed, you see, and the 'o$e
upset he was, the wo$se his stutte$ %eca'e! A phone conve$sation would have %een i'possi%le!'
Now, at last, " thought " had a clea$ pictu$e! 8ance 2evo$e had w$itten his fathe$ an unthin#a%le
lette$ + unthin#a%le, that was, if you happened to %e ax 2evo$e! The lette$ said that 8ance didn't
want to hea$ f$o' his fathe$ again, and attie didn't, eithe$! He wouldn't %e welco'e in thei$ ho'e
-the odai$ t$aile$ wasn't )uite the hu'%le woodcutte$'s cottage of a .$othe$s 5$i'' tale, %ut it
was close enough fo$ #issing/! He wouldn't %e welco'e to visit following the %i$th of thei$ %a%y,
and if he had the gall to send the child a p$esent then o$ late$, it would %e $etu$ned! Stay out of 'y
life, 2ad! This ti'e you've gone too fa$ to fo$give!
The$e a$e undou%tedly diplo'atic ways of handling an offended child, so'e wise and so'e
c$afty ! ! ! %ut as# you$self thisD would a diplo'atic fathe$ have gotten hi'self into such a situation
to %egin withB (ould a 'an with even 'ini'al insight into hu'an natu$e have offe$ed his son's
fiancee a %ounty -one so eno$'ous it p$o%a%ly had little $eal sense o$ 'eaning to he$/ to give up he$
fi$st%o$n childB And he'd offe$ed this devil's %a$gain to a gi$l*wo'an of seventeen, an age when the
$o'antic view of life is at a%solute high tide! "f nothing else, 2evo$e should have waited awhile
%efo$e 'a#ing his final offe$! ,ou could a$gue that he didn't #now if he had awhile, %ut it wouldn't
%e a pe$suasive a$gu'ent! " thought attie was $ight + deep in that w$in#led old p$une which
se$ved hi' as a hea$t, ax 2evo$e thought he was going to live fo$eve$!
"n the end, he hadn't %een a%le to $est$ain hi'self! The$e was the sled he wanted, the sled he &ust
had to have, on the othe$ side of the window! All he had to do was %$ea# the glass and ta#e it! He'd
%een doing it all his life, and so he had $eacted to his son's e*'ail not c$aftily, as a 'an of his yea$s
and a%ilities should have done, %ut fu$iously, as the child would have done if the glass in the shed
window had p$oved i''une to his ha''e$ing fists! 8ance didn't want hi' 'eddlingB 9ineC 8ance
could live with his %ac#woods 2aisy ae in a tent o$ a t$aile$ o$ a godda'ned cow%a$n! He could
give up the cushy su$veying &o%, as well, and find $eal e'ploy'ent! See how the othe$ half livedC
"n othe$ wo$ds, you can't )uit on 'e, son! ,ou'$e fi$ed!
'(e didn't fall into each othe$'s a$'s at the fune$al,' attie said, 'don't get that idea! .ut he was
decent to 'e + which " didn't expect + and " t$ied to %e decent to hi'! He offe$ed 'e a stipend,
which " $efused! " was af$aid the$e 'ight %e legal $a'ifications!'
'" dou%t it, %ut " li#e you$ caution! (hat happened when he saw 1y$a fo$ the fi$st ti'e, attieB
2o you $e'e'%e$B'
'"'ll neve$ fo$get it!' She $eached into the poc#et of he$ d$ess, found a %atte$ed pac# of ciga$ettes,
and shoo# one out! She loo#ed at it with a 'ixtu$e of g$eed and disgust! '" )uit these %ecause 8ance
said we couldn't $eally affo$d the', and " #new he was $ight! .ut the ha%it c$eeps %ac#! " only
s'o#e a pac# a wee#, and " #now da'ned well even that's too 'uch, %ut so'eti'es " need the
co'fo$t! 2o you want oneB'
" shoo# 'y head! She lit up, and in the 'o'enta$y fla$e of the 'atch, he$ face was way past
p$etty! (hat had the old 'an 'ade of herB " wonde$ed!
'He 'et his g$anddaughte$ fo$ the fi$st ti'e %eside a hea$se,' attie said! '(e we$e at 2a#in's
9une$al Ho'e in otton! "t was the Kviewing!K 2o you #now a%out thatB'
'Oh yes,' " said, thin#ing of 6o!
'The cas#et was closed %ut they still call it a viewing! (ei$d! " ca'e out to have a ciga$ette! " told
1i to sit on the fune$al pa$lo$ steps so she wouldn't get the s'o#e, and " went a little way down the
wal#! This %ig g$ay li'o pulled up! "'d neve$ seen anything li#e it %efo$e, except on T4! " #new
who it was $ight away! " put 'y ciga$ettes %ac# in 'y pu$se and told 1i to co'e! She toddled down
the wal# and too# hold of 'y hand! The li'o doo$ opened, and Rogette (hit'o$e got out! She had
an oxygen 'as# in one hand, %ut he didn't need it, at least not then! He got out afte$ he$! A tall 'an
+ not as tall as you, i#e, %ut tall + wea$ing a g$ay suit and %lac# shoes as shiny as 'i$$o$s!'
She paused, thin#ing! He$ ciga$ette $ose %$iefly to he$ 'outh, then went %ac# down to the a$' of
he$ chai$, a $ed fi$efly in the wea# 'oonlight!
'At fi$st he didn't say anything! The wo'an t$ied to ta#e his a$' and help hi' cli'% the th$ee o$
fou$ steps f$o' the $oad to the wal#, %ut he shoo# he$ off! He got to whe$e we we$e standing unde$
his own powe$, although " could hea$ hi' whee=ing way down deep in his chest! "t was the sound a
'achine 'a#es when it needs oil! " don't #now how 'uch he can wal# now, %ut it's p$o%a%ly not
'uch! Those few steps p$etty well did hi' in, and that was al'ost a yea$ ago! He loo#ed at 'e fo$
a second o$ two, then %ent fo$wa$d with his %ig, %ony old hands on his #nees! He loo#ed at 1y$a
and she loo#ed up at hi'!'
,es! " could see it ! ! ! except not in colo$, not in an i'age li#e a photog$aph! " saw it as a
woodcut, &ust one 'o$e ha$sh illust$ation f$o' -rimm's /airy "ales! The little gi$l loo#s up wide*
eyed at the $ich old 'an + once a %oy who went t$iu'phantly sliding on a stolen sled, now at the
othe$ end of his life and &ust one 'o$e %ag of %ones! '"n 'y i'agining, 1i was wea$ing a hooded
&ac#et and 2evo$e's g$andpa 'as# was slightly as#ew, allowing 'e to see the tufted wolf*pelt
%eneath! (hat %ig eyes you have, 5$andpa, what a %ig nose you have, 5$andpa, what %ig teeth you
have, too!
'He pic#ed he$ up! " don't #now how 'uch effo$t it cost hi', %ut he did! And + the oddest thing
+ 1i let he$self %e pic#ed up! He was a co'plete st$ange$ to he$, and old people always see' to
sca$e little child$en, %ut she let hi' pic# he$ up! '2o you #now who " a'B' he as#ed he$! She shoo#
he$ head, %ut the way she was loo#ing at hi' ! ! ! it was as if she almost #new! 2o you thin# that's
possi%leB'
',es!'
'He said, K"'' you$ g$andpa!K And " al'ost g$a%%ed he$ %ac#, i#e, %ecause " had this c$a=y idea
! ! ! " don't #now ! ! ! '
'That he was going to eat he$ upB'
He$ ciga$ette paused in f$ont of he$ 'outh! He$ eyes we$e $ound! 'How do you #now thatB How
can you #now thatB'
'.ecause in 'y 'ind's eye it loo#s li#e a fai$y tale! 8ittle Red Riding Hood and the Old 5$ay
(olf! (hat did he do thenB'
'Ate he$ up with his eyes! Since then he's taught he$ to play chec#e$s and 3andyland and %ox*
dots! She's only th$ee, %ut he's taught he$ to add and su%t$act! She has he$ own $oo' at
(a$$ington's and he$ own little co'pute$ in it, and 5od #nows what he's taught he$ to do with that !
! ! %ut that fi$st ti'e he only loo#ed at he$! "t was the hung$iest loo# "'ve eve$ seen in 'y life!
'And she loo#ed %ac#! "t couldn't have %een 'o$e than ten o$ twenty seconds, %ut it see'ed li#e
fo$eve$! Then he t$ied to hand he$ %ac# to 'e! He'd used up all his st$ength, though, and if " hadn't
%een $ight the$e to ta#e he$, " thin# he would have d$opped he$ on the ce'ent wal#!
'He stagge$ed a little, and Rogette (hit'o$e put an a$' a$ound hi'! That was when he too# the
oxygen 'as# f$o' he$ + the$e was a little ai$*%ottle attached to it on an elastic + and put it ove$
his 'outh and nose! A couple of deep %$eaths and he see'ed 'o$e o$ less all $ight again! He gave it
%ac# to Rogette and $eally see'ed to see 'e fo$ the fi$st ti'e! He said, K"'ve %een a fool, haven't "BK
" said, K,es, si$, " thin# you have!K He gave 'e a loo#, ve$y %lac#, when " said that! " thin# if he'd
%een even five yea$s younge$, he 'ight have hit 'e fo$ it!'
'.ut he wasn't and he didn't!'
'No! He said, '" want to go inside! (ill you help 'e do thatB' " said " would! (e went up the
'o$tua$y steps with Rogette on one side of hi', 'e t so$t of li#e a ha$e' gi$l! "t wasn't a ve$y nice
feeling! (hen we got into the vesti%ule, he sat down to catch his %$eath and ta#e a little 'o$e
oxygen! Rogette tu$ned to 1y$a! " thin# that wo'an's got a sca$y face, it $e'inds 'e of so'e
painting o$ othe$ + '
'"he ryB The one %y unchB'
'"'' p$etty su$e that's the one!' She d$opped he$ ciga$ette + she'd s'o#ed it all the way down to
the filte$ + and stepped on it, g$inding it into the %ony, $oc#*$iddled g$ound with one white
snea#e$! '.ut 1i wasn't sca$ed of he$ a %it! Not then, not late$! She %ent down to 1y$a and said,
'(hat $hy'es with ladyB' and 1y$a said 'ShadyC' $ight off! Even at two she loved $hy'es! Rogette
$eached into he$ pu$se and %$ought out a He$shey's 1iss! 1i loo#ed at 'e to see if she had
pe$'ission and " said, 'All $ight, %ut &ust one, and " don't want to see any of it on you$ d$ess!' 1i
popped it into he$ 'outh and s'iled at Rogette as if they'd %een f$iends since fo$eve$!
'.y then 2evo$e had his %$eath %ac#, %ut he loo#ed ti$ed + the 'ost ti$ed 'an "'ve eve$ seen! He
$e'inded 'e of so'ething in the .i%le, a%out how in the days of ou$ old age we say we have no
pleasu$e in the'! y hea$t #ind of %$o#e fo$ hi'! ay%e he saw it, %ecause he $eached fo$ 'y
hand! He said, K2on't shut 'e out!K And at that 'o'ent " could see 8ance in his face! " sta$ted to
c$y! " said, K" won't unless you 'a#e 'e!K'
" could see the' the$e in the fune$al ho'e's foye$, hi' sitting, he$ standing, the little gi$l loo#ing
on in wide*eyed pu==le'ent as she suc#ed the sweet He$shey's 1iss! 3anned o$gan 'usic in the
%ac#g$ound! 0oo$ old ax 2evo$e had %een c$afty enough on the day of his son's viewing, "
thought! 2on't shut 'e out, indeed!
1 tried to buy you off and when that didn't work 1 upped the stakes and tried to buy the baby(
When that also failed' 1 told my son that you and he and my grandchild could choke on the dirt of
your own decision( 1n a way' 1'm the reason he was where he was when fell and broke his neck' but
don't shut me out' #attie' 1'm )ust a poor old gee+er' so don't shut me out(
'" was stupid, wasn't "B'
',ou expected hi' to %e %ette$ than he was! "f that 'a#es you stupid, attie, the wo$ld could use
'o$e of it!'
'" did have 'y dou%ts,' she said! '"t's why " wouldn't ta#e any of his 'oney, and %y last Octo%e$
he'd )uit as#ing! .ut " let hi' see he$! " suppose, yeah, pa$t of it was the idea the$e 'ight %e
so'ething in it fo$ 1i late$ on, %ut " honestly didn't thin# a%out that so 'uch! ostly it was hi'
%eing he$ only %lood lin# to he$ fathe$! " wanted he$ to en&oy that the way any #id en&oys having a
g$andpa$ent! (hat " didn't want was fo$ he$ to %e infected %y all the c$ap that went on %efo$e 8ance
died!
'At fi$st it see'ed to %e wo$#ing! Then, little %y little, things changed! " $eali=ed that 1i didn't
li#e he$ 'white poppa' so 'uch7 fo$ one thing! He$ feelings a%out Rogette a$e the sa'e, %ut ax
2evo$e's sta$ted to 'a#e he$ ne$vous in so'e way " don't unde$stand and she can't explain! " as#ed
he$ once if he'd eve$ touched he$ anywhe$e that 'ade he$ feel funny! " showed he$ the places "
'eant, and she said no! " %elieve he$, %ut ! ! ! he said so'ething o$ did so'ething! "'' al'ost su$e
of it!'
'3ould %e no 'o$e than the sound of his %$eathing getting wo$se,' " said! 'That alone 'ight %e
enough to sca$e a child! O$ 'ay%e he had so'e #ind of spell while she was the$e! (hat a%out you,
attieB'
'(ell ! ! ! one day in 9e%$ua$y 8indy .$iggs told 'e that 5eo$ge 9oot'an had %een in to chec#
the fi$e extinguishe$s and the s'o#e detecto$s in the li%$a$y! He also as#ed if 8indy had found any
%ee$ cans o$ li)uo$ %ottles in the t$ash lately! O$ ciga$ette %utts that we$e o%viously ho'e'ade!'
'Roaches, in othe$ wo$ds!'
'Uh*huh! And 2ic#ie Osgood has %een visiting 'y old f$iends, " hea$! 3hatting! 0anning fo$
gold! 2igging the di$t!'
'"s the$e any to digB'
'Not 'uch, than# 5od!'
" hoped she was $ight, and " hoped that if the$e was stuff she wasn't telling 'e, 6ohn Sto$$ow
would get it out of he$!
'.ut th$ough all this you let 1i go on seeing hi'!'
'(hat would pulling the plug on the visits have acco'plishedB And " thought that allowing the'
to go on would at least #eep hi' f$o' speeding up any plans he 'ight have!'
That, " thought, 'ade a lonely #ind of sense!
'Then, in the sp$ing, " sta$ted to get so'e ext$e'ely c$eepy, sca$y feelings!'
'3$eepy howB Sca$y howB'
'" don't #now!' She too# out he$ ciga$ettes, loo#ed at the', then stuffed the pac# %ac# in he$
poc#et! '"t wasn't &ust that 'y fathe$*in*law was loo#ing fo$ di$ty laund$y in 'y closets, eithe$! "t
was 1i! " sta$ted to wo$$y a%out "3" all the ti'e she was with hi' ! ! ! with them! Rogette would
co'e in the .( they'd %ought o$ leased, and 1i would %e sitting out on the steps waiting fo$ he$!
(ith he$ %ag of toys if it was a day*visit, with he$ little pin# innie ouse suitcase if it was an
ove$night! And she'd always co'e %ac# with one 'o$e thing than she left with! y fathe$*in*law's
a g$eat %elieve$ in p$esents! .efo$e popping he$ into the ca$, Rogette would give 'e that cold little
s'ile of he$s and say, KSeven o'cloc# then, we'll give he$ suppe$K o$ KEight o'cloc# then, and a nice
hot %$ea#fast %efo$e she leaves!K "'d say o#ay, and then Rogette would $each into he$ %ag and hold
out a He$shey's 1iss to 1i &ust the way you'd hold a %iscuit out to a dog to 'a#e it sha#e hands!
She'd say a wo$d and 1y$a would $hy'e it! Rogette would toss he$ he$ t$eat + woof*woof, good
dog, " always used to thin# + and off they'd go! 3o'e seven in the evening o$ eight in the
'o$ning, the .( would pull in $ight whe$e you$ ca$'s pa$#ed now! ,ou could set you$ cloc# %y
the wo'an! .ut " got wo$$ied!'
'That they 'ight get ti$ed of the legal p$ocess and &ust snatch he$B'
This see'ed to 'e a $easona%le conce$n + so $easona%le " could ha$dly %elieve attie had eve$
let he$ little gi$l go to the old 'an in the fi$st place! "n custody cases, as in the $est of life,
possession tends to %e nine tenths of the law, and if attie was telling the t$uth a%out he$ past and
p$esent, a custody hea$ing was apt to tu$n into a ti$eso'e p$oduction even fo$ the $ich $! 2evo$e!
Snatching 'ight, in the end, loo# li#e a 'o$e efficient solution!
'Not exactly,' she said! '" guess it's the logical thing, %ut that wasn't $eally it! " &ust got af$aid!
The$e was nothing " could put 'y finge$ on! "t would get to %e )ua$te$ past six in the evening and
"'d thin#, KThis ti'e that white*hai$ed %itch isn't going to %$ing he$ %ac#! This ti'e she's going to ! !
! '''
" waited! (hen nothing ca'e " said, '5oing to whatB'
'" told you, " don't #now,' she said! '.ut "'ve %een af$aid fo$ 1i since sp$ing! .y the ti'e 6une
ca'e a$ound, " couldn't stand it any'o$e, and " put a stop to the visits! 1y$a's %een off*and*on
pissed at 'e eve$ since! "'' p$etty su$e that's 'ost of what that 9ou$th of 6uly escapade was a%out!
She doesn't tal# a%out he$ g$andfathe$ ve$y 'uch, %ut she's always popping out with K(hat do you
thin# the white nana's doing now, attieBK o$ K2o you thin# the white nana would li#e 'y new
d$essBK O$ she'll $un up to 'e and say KSing, $ing, #ing, thing,K and as# fo$ a t$eat!'
'(hat was the $eaction f$o' 2evo$eB'
'3o'plete fu$y! He called again and again, fi$st as#ing what was w$ong, then 'a#ing th$eats!'
'0hysical th$eatsB'
'3ustody th$eats! He was going to ta#e he$ away, when he was finished with 'e "'d stand %efo$e
the whole wo$ld as an unfit 'othe$, " didn't have a chance, 'y only hope was to $elent and let me
see my granddaughter' goddammit!'
" nodded! 'K0lease don't shut 'e outK doesn't sound li#e the guy who called while " was watching
the fi$ewo$#s, %ut that does!'
'"'ve also gotten calls f$o' 2ic#ie Osgood, and a nu'%e$ of othe$ locals,' she said! '"ncluding
8ance's old f$iend Richie 8atti'o$e! Richie said " wasn't %eing t$ue to 8ance's 'e'o$y!'
'(hat a%out 5eo$ge 9oot'anB'
'He c$uises %y once in awhile! 8ets 'e #now he's watching! He hasn't called o$ stopped in! ,ou
as#ed a%out physical th$eats + &ust seeing 9oot'an's c$uise$ on 'y $oad feels li#e a physical th$eat
to 'e! He sca$es 'e! .ut these days it see's as if eve$ything does!'
'Even though 1y$a's visits have stopped!'
'Even though! "t feels ! ! ! thunde$y! 8i#e so'ething's going to happen! And eve$y day that feeling
see's to get st$onge$!'
'6ohn Sto$$ow's nu'%e$,' " said! '2o you want itB'
She sat )uietly, loo#ing into he$ lap! Then she $aised he$ head and nodded! '5ive it to 'e! And
than# you! 9$o' the %otto' of 'y hea$t!'
" had the nu'%e$ on a pin# 'e'o*slip in 'y f$ont poc#et! She g$asped it %ut did not i''ediately
ta#e it! Ou$ finge$s we$e touching, and she was loo#ing at 'e with disconce$ting steadiness! "t was
as if she #new 'o$e a%out 'y 'otives than " did 'yself!
'(hat can " do to $epay youB' she as#ed, and the$e it was!
'Tell Sto$$ow eve$ything you've told 'e!' " let go of the pin# slip and stood up! 'That'll do &ust
fine! And now " have to get along! (ill you call and tell 'e how you 'ade out with hi'B'
'Of cou$se!'
(e wal#ed to 'y ca$! " tu$ned to he$ when we got the$e! 9o$ a 'o'ent " thought she was going
to put he$ a$'s a$ound 'e and hug 'e, a than#*you gestu$e that 'ight have led anywhe$e in ou$
cu$$ent 'ood + one so heightened it was al'ost 'elod$a'atic! .ut it was a 'elod$a'atic
situation, a fai$y*tale whe$e the$e's good and %ad and a lot of $ep$essed sex $unning unde$ %oth!
Then headlights appea$ed ove$ the %$ow of the hill whe$e the 'a$#et stood and swept past the
All*0u$pose 5a$age! They 'oved towa$d us, %$ightening! attie stood %ac# and actually put he$
hands %ehind he$, li#e a child who has %een scolded! The ca$ passed, leaving us in the da$#
again ! ! ! %ut the 'o'ent had passed, too! "f the$e had %een a 'o'ent!
'Than#s fo$ dinne$,' " said! '"t was wonde$ful!'
'Than#s fo$ the lawye$, "'' su$e he'll %e wonde$ful, too,' she said, and we %oth laughed! The
elect$icity went out of the ai$! 'He spo#e of you once, you #now! 2evo$e!'
" loo#ed at he$ in su$p$ise! '"'' a'a=ed he even #new who " was! .efo$e this, " 'ean!'
'He #nows, all $ight! He spo#e of you with what " thin# was genuine affection!'
',ou'$e #idding! ,ou 'ust %e!'
'"'' not! He said that you$ g$eat*g$andfathe$ and his g$eat*g$andfathe$ wo$#ed the sa'e ca'ps
and we$e neigh%o$s when they we$en't in the woods + " thin# he said not fa$ f$o' whe$e .oyd's
a$ina is now! 'They shit in the sa'e pit,' is the way he put it! 3ha$'ing, huhB He said he guessed
that if a couple of logge$s f$o' the TR could p$oduce 'illionai$es, the syste' was wo$#ing the way
it was supposed to! KEven if it too# th$ee gene$ations to do it,K he said! At the ti'e " too# it as a
veiled c$iticis' of 8ance!'
'"t's $idiculous, howeve$ he 'eant it,' " said! 'y fa'ily is f$o' the coast! 0$out's Nec#! Othe$
side of the state! y dad was a fishe$'an and so was his fathe$ %efo$e hi'! y g$eat*g$andfathe$,
too! They t$apped lo%ste$s and th$ew nets, they didn't cut t$ees!' All that was t$ue, and yet 'y 'ind
t$ied to fix on so'ething! So'e 'e'o$y connected to what she was saying! 0e$haps if " slept on it,
it would co'e %ac# to 'e!
'3ould he have %een tal#ing a%out so'eone in you$ wife's fa'ilyB'
'Nope!
The$e a$e A$lens in aine + they'$e a %ig fa'ily + %ut 'ost a$e still in assachusetts! They do
all so$ts of things now, %ut if you go %ac# to the eighteen*eighties, the 'a&o$ity would have %een
)ua$$y'en and stonecutte$s in the alden*8ynn a$ea! 2evo$e was pulling you$ leg, attie!' .ut
even then " suppose " #new he wasn't! He 'ight have gotten so'e pa$t of the sto$y w$ong + even
the sha$pest guys %egin to lose the edge of thei$ $ecollection %y the ti'e they tu$n eighty*five + %ut
ax 2evo$e wasn't 'uch of a leg*pulle$! " had an i'age of unseen ca%les st$etching %eneath the
su$face of the ea$th he$e on the TR + *st$etching in all di$ections, unseen %ut ve$y powe$ful!
y hand was $esting on top of 'y ca$ doo$, and now she touched it %$iefly! '3an " as# you one
othe$ )uestion %efo$e you goB "t's stupid, " wa$n you!'
'5o ahead! Stupid )uestions a$e a specialty of 'ine!'
'2o you have any idea at all what that K.a$tle%yK sto$y is a%outB'
" wanted to laugh, %ut the$e was enough 'oonlight fo$ 'e to see she was se$ious, and that "'d
hu$t he$ feelings if " did! She was a 'e'%e$ of 8indy .$iggs's $eade$s' ci$cle -whe$e " had once
spo#en in the late eighties/, p$o%a%ly the youngest %y at least twenty yea$s, and she was af$aid of
appea$ing stupid!
'" have to spea# fi$st next ti'e,' she said, 'and "'d li#e to give 'o$e than &ust a su''a$y of the
sto$y so they #now "'ve $ead it! "'ve thought a%out it until 'y head aches, and " &ust don't see! "
dou%t if it's one of those sto$ies whe$e eve$ything co'es 'agically clea$ in the last few pages,
eithe$! And " feel li#e " should see + that it's $ight the$e in f$ont of 'e!'
That 'ade 'e thin# of the ca%les again + ca%les $unning in eve$y di$ection, a su%cutaneous
we%wo$# connecting people and places! ,ou couldn't see the', %ut you could feel the'! Especially
if you t$ied to get away! eanwhile attie was waiting, loo#ing at 'e with hope and anxiety!
'O#ay, listen up, school's in session,' " said!
'" a'! .elieve 'e!'
'ost c$itics thin# .uckleberry /inn is the fi$st 'ode$n A'e$ican novel, and that's fai$ enough,
%ut if K.a$tle%yK we$e a hund$ed pages longe$, " thin# "'d put 'y 'oney the$e! 2o you #now what a
sc$ivene$ wasB'
'A sec$eta$yB'
'That's too g$and! A copyist! So$t of li#e .o% 3$atchit in A hristmas arol! Only 2ic#ens gives
.o% a past and a fa'ily life! elville gives .a$tle%y neithe$! He's the fi$st existential cha$acte$ in
A'e$ican fiction, a guy with no ties ! ! ! no ties to, you #now ! ! ! '
A couple of loggers who could produce millionaires( "hey shit in the same pit(
'i#eB'
'(hatB'
'A$e you o#ayB'
'Su$e!' " focused 'y 'ind as %est " could! '.a$tle%y is tied to life only %y wo$#! "n that way he's a
twentieth*centu$y A'e$ican type, not 'uch diffe$ent f$o' Sloan (ilson's an in the 5$ay 9lannel
Suit, o$ + in the da$# ve$sion + ichael 3o$leone in "he -odfather! .ut then .a$tle%y %egins to
)uestion even wo$#, the god of 'iddle*class A'e$ican 'ales!'
She loo#ed excited now, and " thought it was a sha'e she'd 'issed he$ last yea$ of high school!
9o$ he$ and also fo$ he$ teache$s! 'That's why he sta$ts saying K" p$efe$ not toKB'
',es! Thin# of .a$tle%y as a ! ! ! a hot*ai$ %alloon! Only one $ope still tethe$s hi' to the ea$th,
and that $ope is his sc$ivening! (e can 'easu$e the $ot in that last $ope %y the steadily inc$easing
nu'%e$ of things .a$tle%y p$efe$s not to do! 9inally the $ope %$ea#s and .a$tle%y floats away! "t's a
godda' distu$%ing sto$y, isn't itB'
'One night " d$ea'ed a%out hi',' she said! '" opened the t$aile$ doo$ and the$e he was, sitting on
the steps in his old %lac# suit! Thin! Not 'uch hai$! " said, K(ill you 'ove, pleaseB " have to go out
and hang the clothes now!K And he said, K" p$efe$ not to!K ,es, " guess you could call it distu$%ing!'
'Then it still wo$#s,' " said, and got into 'y ca$! '3all 'e! Tell 'e how it goes with 6ohn Sto$$ow!'
'" will! And anything " can do to $epay, &ust as#!'
0ust ask! How young did you have to %e, how %eautifully igno$ant, to issue that #ind of %lan#
chec#B
y window was open! " $eached th$ough it and s)uee=ed he$ hand!
She s)uee=ed %ac#, and ha$d! ',ou 'iss you$ wife a lot, don't youB' she said!
'"t showsB'
'So'eti'es!' She was no longe$ s)uee=ing, %ut she was still holding 'y hand! '(hen you we$e
$eading to 1i, you loo#ed %oth happy and sad at the sa'e ti'e! " only saw he$ once, you$ wife, %ut
" thought she was ve$y %eautiful!'
" had %een thin#ing a%out the touch of ou$ hands, concent$ating on that! Now " fo$got a%out it
enti$ely! '(hen did you see he$B And whe$eB 2o you $e'e'%e$B'
She s'iled as if those we$e ve$y silly )uestions! '" $e'e'%e$! "t was at the %allfield, on the night
" 'et 'y hus%and!'
4e$y slowly " withd$ew 'y hand f$o' he$s! So fa$ as " #new, neithe$ 6o no$ " had %een nea$ TR*
;A all that su''e$ of ';< ! ! ! %ut what " #new was appa$ently w$ong! 6o had %een down on a
Tuesday in ea$ly 6uly! She had even gone to the soft%all ga'e!
'A$e you su$e it was 6oB' " as#ed!
attie was loo#ing off towa$d the $oad! "t wasn't 'y wife she was thin#ing a%out7 " would have
%et the house and lot on it + eithe$ house, eithe$ lot! "t was 8ance! ay%e that was good! "f she
was thin#ing a%out hi', she p$o%a%ly wouldn't loo# too closely at 'e, and " didn't thin# " had 'uch
cont$ol of 'y exp$ession &ust then! She 'ight have seen 'o$e on 'y face than " wanted to show!
',es,' she said! '" was standing with 6enna c3oy and Helen 5ea$y + this was afte$ 8ance
helped 'e with a #eg of %ee$ " got stuc# in the 'ud and then as#ed if " was going fo$ pi==a with the
$est of the' afte$ the ga'e + and 6enna said, K8oo#, it's $s! Noonan,K and Helen said, KShe's the
w$ite$'s wife, attie, isn't that a cool %louseBK The %louse was all cove$ed with %lue $oses!'
" $e'e'%e$ed it ve$y well! 6o li#ed it %ecause it was a &o#e + the$e are no %lue $oses, not in
natu$e and not in cultivation! Once when she was wea$ing it she had th$own he$ a$'s ext$avagantly
a$ound 'y nec#, swooned he$ hips fo$wa$d against 'ine, and c$ied that she was 'y %lue $ose and "
'ust st$o#e he$ until she tu$ned pin#! Re'e'%e$ing that hu$t, and %adly!
'She was ove$ on the thi$d*%ase side, %ehind the chic#enwi$e sc$een,' attie said, 'with so'e guy
who was wea$ing an old %$own &ac#et with patches on the el%ows! They we$e laughing togethe$
ove$ so'ething, and then she tu$ned he$ head a little and loo#ed $ight at 'e!' She was )uiet fo$ a
'o'ent, standing the$e %eside 'y ca$ in he$ $ed d$ess! She $aised he$ hai$ off the %ac# of he$ nec#,
held it, then let it d$op again! 'Right at 'e! Really seeing 'e! And she had a loo# a%out he$ ! ! !
she'd &ust %een laughing %ut this loo# was sad, so'ehow! "t was as if she #new 'e! Then the guy
put his a$' a$ound he$ waist and they wal#ed away!'
Silence except fo$ the c$ic#ets and the fa$*off d$one of a t$uc#! attie only stood the$e fo$ a
'o'ent, as if d$ea'ing with he$ eyes open, and then she felt so'ething and loo#ed %ac# at 'e!
'"s so'ething w$ongB'
'No! Except who was this guy with his a$' a$ound 'y wifeB'
She laughed a little unce$tainly! '(ell " dou%t if he was he$ %oyf$iend, you #now! He was )uite a
%it olde$! 9ifty, at least!' So what? " thought! " 'yself was fo$ty, %ut that didn't 'ean " had 'issed
the way attie 'oved inside he$ d$ess, o$ lifted he$ hai$ f$o' the nape of he$ nec#! '" 'ean ! ! !
you'$e #idding, $ightB'
'" don't $eally #now! The$e's a lot of things " don't #now these days, it see's! .ut the lady's dead
in any case, so how can it 'atte$B'
attie was loo#ing dist$essed! '"f " put 'y foot in so'ething, i#e, "'' so$$y!'
'(ho was the 'anB 2o you #nowB'
She shoo# he$ head! '" thought he was a su''e$ pe$son + the$e was that feeling a%out hi',
'ay%e &ust %ecause he was wea$ing a &ac#et on a hot su''e$ evening + %ut if he was, he wasn't
staying at (a$$ington's! " #new 'ost of the'!'
'And they wal#ed off togethe$B'
',es!' Sounding $eluctant!
'Towa$d the pa$#ing lotB'
',es!' o$e $eluctant still! And this ti'e she was lying! " #new it with a )uee$ ce$tainty that went
fa$ %eyond intuition7 it was al'ost li#e 'ind*$eading!
" $eached th$ough the window and too# he$ hand again! ',ou said if " could thin# of anything you
could do to $epay 'e, to &ust as#! "'' as#ing! Tell 'e the t$uth, attie!'
She %it he$ lip, loo#ing down at 'y hand lying ove$ he$s! Then she loo#ed up at 'y face! 'He
was a %u$ly guy! The old spo$tcoat 'ade hi' loo# a little li#e a college p$ofesso$, %ut he could
have %een a ca$pente$ fo$ all " #now! His hai$ was %lac#! He had a tan! They had a laugh togethe$, a
good one, and then she loo#ed at 'e and the laugh went out of he$ face! Afte$ that he put an a$'
a$ound he$ and they wal#ed away!' She paused! 'Not towa$d the pa$#ing lot, though! Towa$d The
St$eet!'
The St$eet! 9$o' the$e they could have wal#ed no$th along the edge of the la#e until they ca'e
to Sa$a 8aughs! And thenB (ho #newB
'She neve$ told 'e she ca'e down he$e that su''e$,' " said!
attie see'ed to t$y seve$al $esponses and find none of the' to he$ li#ing! " gave he$ he$ hand
%ac#! "t was ti'e fo$ 'e to go! "n fact " had sta$ted to wish "'d left five 'inutes soone$!
'i#e, "'' su$e + '
'No,' " said! ',ou'$e not! Neithe$ a' "! .ut " loved he$ a lot and "'' going to t$y and let this go! "t
p$o%a%ly signifies nothing, and %esides + what else can " doB Than#s fo$ dinne$!'
',ou'$e welco'e!' attie loo#ed so 'uch li#e c$ying that " pic#ed he$ hand up again and #issed
the %ac# of it! '" feel li#e a dope!'
',ou'$e not a dope,' " said!
" gave he$ hand anothe$ #iss, then d$ove away! And that was 'y date, the fi$st one in fou$ yea$s!
2$iving ho'e " thought of an old saying a%out how one pe$son can neve$ t$uly #now anothe$! "t's
easy to give that idea lip se$vice, %ut it's a &olt + as ho$$i%le and unexpected as seve$e ai$
tu$%ulence on a p$eviously cal' ai$line flight + to discove$ it's a lite$al fact in one's own life! "
#ept $e'e'%e$ing ou$ visit to a fe$tility doc afte$ we'd %een t$ying to 'a#e a %a%y fo$ al'ost two
yea$s with no success! The docto$ had told us " had a low spe$' count + not disast$ously low, %ut
down enough to account fo$ 6o's failu$e to conceive!
'"f you want a #id, you'll li#ely have one without any special help,' the doc had said! '.oth the
odds and ti'e a$e still on you$ side! "t could happen to'o$$ow o$ it could happen fou$ yea$s f$o'
now! (ill you eve$ fill the house with %a%iesB 0$o%a%ly not! .ut you 'ight have two, and you'll
al'ost ce$tainly have one if you #eep doing the thing that 'a#es the'!' She had g$inned!
'Re'e'%e$, the pleasu$e is in the &ou$ney!'
The$e had %een a lot of pleasu$e, all $ight, 'any $ingings of .unte$'s %ell, %ut the$e had %een no
%a%y! Then 6ohanna had died $unning ac$oss a shopping*cente$ pa$#ing lot on a hot day, and one of
the ite's in he$ %ag had %een a No$co Ho'e 0$egnancy Test which she had not told 'e she had
intended to %uy! No 'o$e than she'd told 'e she had %ought a couple of plastic owls to #eep the
c$ows f$o' shitting on the la#eside dec#!
(hat else hadn't she told 'eB
'Stop,' " 'utte$ed! '9o$ 3h$ist's sa#e stop thin#ing a%out it!'
.ut " couldn't!
(hen " got %ac# to Sa$a, the f$uit and vegeta%le 'agnets on the $ef$ige$ato$ we$e in a ci$cle again!
Th$ee lette$s had %een cluste$ed in the 'iddleD
g d
o
" 'oved the o up to whe$e " thought it %elonged, 'a#ing 'god' o$ 'ay%e an a%$idged ve$sion of
'good!' (hich 'eant exactly whatB '" could speculate a%out that, %ut " p$efe$ not to,' " told the
e'pty house! " loo#ed at .unte$ the 'oose, willing the %ell a$ound his 'oth*eaten nec# to $ing!
(hen it didn't, " opened 'y two new agna%et pac#ages and stuc# the lette$s on the f$idge doo$,
sp$eading the' out! Then " went down to the no$th wing, und$essed, and %$ushed 'y teeth!
As " %a$ed 'y fangs fo$ the 'i$$o$ in a sudsy ca$toon scowl, " conside$ed calling (a$d Han#ins
again to'o$$ow 'o$ning! " could tell hi' that 'y sea$ch fo$ the elusive plastic owls had p$og$essed
f$o' Nove'%e$ of :;;G to 6uly of :;;<! (hat 'eetings had 6o put on he$ calenda$ fo$ that 'onthB
(hat excuses to %e out of 2e$$yB And once " had finished with (a$d, " could tac#le 6o's f$iend
.onnie A'udson, as# he$ if anything had %een going on with 6o in the last su''e$ of he$ life!
%et her rest in peace' why don't you? "t was the U9O voice! What good will it do you to do
otherwise? Assume she popped o&er to the "R after one of her board meetings' maybe )ust on a
whim' met an old friend' took him back to the house for a bite of dinner( 6ust dinner!
And ne&er told me? " as#ed the U9O voice, spitting out a 'outhful of toothpaste and then
$insing! Ne&er said a single word?
.ow do you know she didn't? the voice $etu$ned, and that f$o=e 'e in the act of putting 'y
tooth%$ush %ac# in the 'edicine ca%inet! The U9O voice had a point! " had %een deep into All the
Way from the "op %y 6uly of ';<! 6o could have co'e in and told 'e she'd seen 8on 3haney 6unio$
dancing with the )ueen, doing the (e$ewolves of 8ondon, and " p$o%a%ly would have said 'Uh*
huh, honey, that's nice' as " went on p$oofing copy!
'.ullshit,' " said to 'y $eflection! 'That's &ust %ullshit!'
Except it wasn't! (hen " was $eally d$iving on a %oo# " 'o$e o$ less fell out of the wo$ld7 othe$
than a )uic# scan of the spo$ts pages, " didn't even $ead the newspape$! So yes + it was possi%le
that 6o had told 'e she'd $un ove$ to the TR afte$ a %oa$d 'eeting in 8ewiston o$ 9$eepo$t, it was
possi%le that she'd told 'e she'd $un into an old f$iend + pe$haps anothe$ student f$o' the
photog$aphy se'ina$ she'd attended at .ates in :;;: + and it was possi%le she'd told 'e they'd
had dinne$ togethe$ on ou$ dec#, eating %lac# t$u'pet 'ush$oo's she'd pic#ed he$self as the sun
went down! "t was possi%le she'd told 'e these things and " hadn't $egiste$ed a wo$d of what she
was saying!
And did " $eally thin# "'d get anything " could t$ust out of .onnie A'udsonB She'd %een 6o's
f$iend, not 'ine, and .onnie 'ight feel the statute of li'itations hadn't $un out on any sec$ets 'y
wife had told he$!
The %otto' line was as si'ple as it was %$utalD 6o was fou$ yea$s dead! .est to love he$ and let
all t$ou%ling )uestions lapse! " too# a final 'outhful of wate$ di$ectly f$o' the tap, swished it
a$ound in 'y 'outh, and spat it out!
(hen " $etu$ned to the #itchen to set the coffee*'a#e$ fo$ seven A!!, " saw a new 'essage in a
new ci$cle of 'agnets! "t $ead
%lue $ose lia$ ha ha
" loo#ed at it fo$ a second o$ two, wonde$ing what had put it the$e, and why!
(onde$ing if it was t$ue!
" st$etched out a hand and scatte$ed all the lette$s fa$ and wide! Then " went to %ed!
3HA0TER TH"RTEEN
" caught the 'easles when " was eight, and " was ve$y ill! '" thought you we$e going to die,' 'y
fathe$ told 'e once, and he was not a 'an given to exagge$ation! He told 'e a%out how he and 'y
'othe$ had dun#ed 'e in a tu% of cold wate$ one night, %oth of the' at least half*convinced the
shoc# of it would stop 'y hea$t, %ut %oth of the' co'pletely convinced that "'d %u$n up %efo$e
thei$ eyes if they didn't do something! " had %egun to spea# in a loud, 'onotonously discu$sive
voice a%out the %$ight figu$es " saw in the $oo' + angels co'e to %ea$ 'e away, 'y te$$ified
'othe$ was su$e + and the last ti'e 'y fathe$ too# 'y te'pe$atu$e %efo$e the cold plunge, he said
that the 'e$cu$y on the old 6ohnson R 6ohnson $ectal the$'o'ete$ had stood at a hund$ed and six
deg$ees! Afte$ that, he said, he didn't da$e ta#e it any'o$e!
" don't $e'e'%e$ any %$ight figu$es, %ut " $e'e'%e$ a st$ange pe$iod of ti'e that was li#e %eing
in a funhouse co$$ido$ whe$e seve$al diffe$ent 'ovies we$e showing at once! The wo$ld g$ew
elastic, %ulging in places whe$e it had neve$ %ulged %efo$e, wave$ing in places whe$e it had always
%een solid! 0eople + 'ost of the' see'ing i'possi%ly tallda$ted in and out of 'y $oo' on
scisso$ing, ca$toonish legs! Thei$ wo$ds all ca'e out %oo'ing, with instant echoes! So'eone shoo#
a pai$ of %a%y*shoes in 'y face! " see' to $e'e'%e$ 'y %$othe$, Siddy, stic#ing his hand into his
shi$t and 'a#ing $epeated a$'*fa$t noises! 3ontinuity %$o#e down! Eve$ything ca'e in seg'ents,
wei$d wiene$s on a poison st$ing!
"n the yea$s %etween then and the su''e$ " $etu$ned to Sa$a 8aughs, " had the usual sic#nesses,
infections, and insults to the %ody, %ut neve$ anything li#e that feve$ish inte$lude when " was eight!
" neve$ expected to + %elieving, " suppose, that such expe$iences a$e uni)ue to child$en, people
with 'ala$ia, o$ 'ay%e those suffe$ing catast$ophic 'ental %$ea#downs! .ut on the night of 6uly
seventh and the 'o$ning of 6uly eighth, " lived th$ough a pe$iod of ti'e $e'a$#a%ly li#e that
childhood deli$iu'! 2$ea'ing, wa#ing, 'oving + they we$e all one! "'ll tell you as %est " can, %ut
nothing " say can convey the st$angeness of that expe$ience! "t was as if " had found a sec$et
passage hidden &ust %eyond the wall of the wo$ld and went c$awling along it!
9i$st the$e was 'usic! Not 2ixieland, %ecause the$e we$e no ho$ns, %ut like 2ixieland! A p$i'itive,
$eeling #ind of %e%op! Th$ee o$ fou$ acoustic guita$s, a ha$'onica, a stand*up %ass -o$ 'ay%e a
pai$/! .ehind all of this was a ha$d, happy d$u''ing that didn't sound as if it was co'ing f$o' a
$eal d$u'7 it sounded as if so'eone with a lot of pe$cussive talent was whopping on a %unch of
%oxes! Then a wo'an's voice &oined in + a cont$alto voice, not )uite 'annish, $oughing ove$ the
high notes! "t was laughing and u$gent and o'inous all at the sa'e ti'e, and " #new at once that "
was hea$ing Sa$a Tidwell, who had neve$ cut a $eco$d in he$ life! " was hea$ing Sa$a 8aughs, and
'an, she was rocking!
',ou know we're going back to #ANderley'
We're gonna dance on the SANderley'
1'm gonna sing with the BANderley'
We gonna ball all we ANderley 3
Ball me' baby' yeah5'
The %asses + yes, the$e we$e two + %$o#e out in a %a$nya$d shuffle li#e the %$ea# in Elvis's
ve$sion of '.a%y 8et's 0lay House,' and then the$e was a guita$ soloD Son Tidwell playing that
chic#ensc$atch thing!
8ights glea'ed in the da$#, and " thought of a song f$o' the fifties + 3laudine 3la$# singing
'0a$ty 8ights!' And he$e they we$e, 6apanese lante$ns hung f$o' the t$ees a%ove the path of
$ail$oad*tie steps leading f$o' the house to the wate$! 0a$ty lights casting 'ystic ci$cles of $adiance
in the da$#D $ed %lue and g$een!
.ehind 'e, Sa$a was singing the %$idge to he$ ande$ley song + 'a'a li#es it nasty, 'a'a
li#es it st$ong, 'a'a li#es to pa$ty all night long + %ut it was fading! Sa$a and the Red*Top .oys
had set up thei$ %andstand in the d$iveway %y the sound, a%out whe$e 5eo$ge 9oot'an had pa$#ed
when he ca'e to se$ve 'e with ax 2evo$e's su%poena! " was descending towa$d the la#e th$ough
ci$cles of $adiance, past pa$ty lights su$$ounded %y soft*winged 'oths! One had found its way
inside a la'p and it cast a 'onst$ous, %atli#e shadow against the $i%%ed pape$! The flowe$*%oxes 6o
had put %eside the steps we$e full of night*%loo'ing $oses! "n the light of the 6apanese lante$ns they
loo#ed %lue!
Now the %and was only a faint 'u$'u$7 " could hea$ Sa$a shouting out the ly$ic, laughing he$
way th$ough it as though it we$e the funniest thing she'd eve$ hea$d, all that ande$ley*sande$ley*
cande$ley stuff, %ut " could no longe$ 'a#e out the individual wo$ds! uch clea$e$ was the lap of
the la#e against the $oc#s at the foot of the steps, the hollow clun# of the canniste$s unde$ the
swi''ing float, and the c$y of a loon d$ifting out of the da$#ness! So'eone was standing on The
St$eet to 'y $ight, at the edge of the la#e! " couldn't see his face, %ut " could see the %$own
spo$tcoat and the tee*shi$t he was wea$ing %eneath it! The lapels cut off so'e of the lette$s of the
'essage, so it loo#ed li#e thisD
ORA
ER
OUN
" #new what it said anyway + in d$ea's you al'ost always #now, don't youB NORA8 S0ER
3OUNT, a 4illage 3afe yuc#*it*up special if eve$ the$e was one!
" was in the no$th %ed$oo' d$ea'ing all this, and he$e " wo#e up enough to know " was d$ea'ing
! ! ! except it was li#e wa#ing into anothe$ d$ea', %ecause .unte$'s %ell was $inging 'adly and
the$e was so'eone standing in the hall! $! No$'al Spe$' 3ountB No, not hi'! The shadow*shape
falling on the doo$ wasn't )uite hu'an! "t was slu'ped, the a$'s indistinct! " sat up into the silve$
sha#ing of the %ell, clutching a loose puddle of sheet against 'y na#ed waist, su$e it was the
sh$oud*thing out the$e + the sh$oud*thing had co'e out of its g$ave to get 'e!
'0lease don't,' " said in a d$y and t$e'%ling voice! '0lease don't, please!'
The shadow on the doo$ $aised its a$'s! '1t ain't nuthin but a barn*dance sugar5' Sa$a Tidwell's
laughing, fu$ious voice sang! '1t ain't nuthin but a round*and*round5'
" lay %ac# down and pulled the sheet ove$ 'y face in a childish act of denial ! ! ! and the$e " stood
on ou$ little lic# of %each, wea$ing &ust 'y unde$sho$ts! y feet we$e an#le*deep in the wate$! "t
was wa$' the way the la#e gets %y 'idsu''e$! y di' shadow was cast two ways, in one
di$ection %y the scantling 'oon which $ode low a%ove the wate$, in anothe$ %y the 6apanese lante$n
with the 'oth caught inside it! The 'an who'd %een standing on the path was gone %ut he had left a
plastic owl to 'a$# his place! "t sta$ed at 'e with f$o=en, gold*$inged eyes!
'Hey "$ishC'
" loo#ed out at the swi''ing float! 6o stood the$e! She 'ust have &ust cli'%ed out of the wate$,
%ecause she was still d$ipping and he$ hai$ was plaste$ed against he$ chee#s! She was wea$ing the
two*piece swi'suit f$o' the photo "'d found, g$ay with $ed piping!
'"t's %een a long ti'e, "$ish + what do you sayB'
'Say a%out whatB' " called %ac#, although " #new!
'A%out thisC' She put he$ hands ove$ he$ %$easts and s)uee=ed! (ate$ $an out %etween he$ finge$s
and t$ic#led ac$oss he$ #nuc#les!
'3o'e on, "$ish,' she said f$o' %eside and a%ove 'e, 'co'e on, you %asta$d, let's go!' " felt he$
st$ip down the sheet, pulling it easily out of 'y sleep*nu'%ed finge$s! " shut 'y eyes, %ut she too#
'y hand and placed it %etween he$ legs! As " found that velvety sea' and %egan to st$o#e it open,
she %egan to $u% the %ac# of 'y nec# with he$ finge$s!
',ou'$e not 6o,' " said! '(ho a$e youB'
.ut no one was the$e to answe$! " was in the woods! "t was da$#, and on the la#e the loons we$e
c$ying! " was wal#ing the path to 6o's studio! "t wasn't a d$ea'7 " could feel the cool ai$ against 'y
s#in and the occasional %ite of a $oc# into 'y %a$e sole o$ heel! A 'os)uito %u==ed a$ound 'y ea$
and " waved it away! " was wea$ing 6oc#ey sho$ts, and at eve$y step they pulled against a huge and
th$o%%ing e$ection!
'(hat the hell is thisB' " as#ed as 6o's little %a$n%oa$d studio loo'ed in the da$#! " loo#ed %ehind
'e and saw Sa$a on he$ hill, not the wo'an %ut the house, a long lodge &utting towa$d the
night%ound la#e! '(hat's happening to 'eB'
'Eve$ything's all $ight, i#e,' 6o said! She was standing on the float, watching as " swa' towa$d
he$! She put he$ hands %ehind he$ nec# li#e a calenda$ 'odel, lifting he$ %$easts 'o$e fully into the
da'p halte$! As in the photo, " could see he$ nipples po#ing out the cloth! " was swi''ing in 'y
unde$pants, and with the sa'e huge e$ection!
'Eve$ything's all $ight, i#e,' attie said in the no$th %ed$oo', and " opened 'y eyes! She was
sitting %eside 'e on the %ed, s'ooth and na#ed in the wea# glow of the nightlight! He$ hai$ was
down, hanging to he$ shoulde$s! He$ %$easts we$e tiny, the si=e of teacups, %ut the nipples we$e
la$ge and distended! .etween he$ legs, whe$e 'y hand still linge$ed, was a powde$puff of %londe
hai$, s'ooth as down! He$ %ody was w$apped in shadows li#e 'oth*wings, li#e $ose*petals! The$e
was so'ething despe$ately att$active a%out he$ as she sat the$e + she was li#e the p$i=e you #now
you'll neve$ win at the ca$ny shooting galle$y o$ the county fai$ $ingtoss! The one they #eep on the
top shelf! She $eached unde$ the sheet and folded he$ finge$s ove$ the st$etched 'ate$ial of 'y
unde$sho$ts!
4&erything's all right' it ain't nuthin but a round*and*round, said the U9O voice as " cli'%ed the
steps to 'y wife's studio! " stooped, fished fo$ the #ey f$o' %eneath the 'at, and too# it out!
" cli'%ed the ladde$ to the float, wet and d$ipping, p$eceded %y 'y engo$ged sex + is the$e
anything, " wonde$, so unintentionally co'ic as a sexually a$oused 'anB 6o stood on the %oa$ds in
he$ wet %athing suit! " pulled attie into %ed with 'e! " opened the doo$ to 6o's studio! All of these
things happened at the sa'e ti'e, weaving in and out of each othe$ li#e st$ands of so'e exotic $ope
o$ %elt! The thing with 6o felt the 'ost li#e a d$ea', the thing in the studio, 'e c$ossing the floo$
and loo#ing down at 'y old g$een "., the least! attie in the no$th %ed$oo' was so'ewhe$e in
%etween!
On the float 6o said, '2o what you want!' "n the no$th %ed$oo' attie said, '2o what you want!'
"n the studio, no one had to tell 'e anything! "n the$e " #new e$actly what " wanted!
On the float " %ent 'y head and put 'y 'outh on one of 6o's %$easts and suc#ed the cloth*
cove$ed nipple into 'y 'outh! " tasted da'p fa%$ic and dan# la#e! She $eached fo$ 'e whe$e "
stuc# out and " slapped he$ hand away! "f she touched 'e " would co'e at once! " suc#ed, d$in#ing
%ac# t$ic#les of cotton*wate$, g$oping with 'y own hands, fi$st ca$essing he$ ass and then yan#ing
down the %otto' half of he$ suit! " got it off he$ and she d$opped to he$ #nees! " did too, finally
getting $id of 'y wet, clinging unde$pants and tossing the' on top of he$ %i#ini panty! (e faced
each othe$ that way, 'e na#ed, he$ al'ost!
'(ho was the guy at the ga'eB' " panted! '(ho was he, 6oB'
'No one in pa$ticula$, "$ish! 6ust anothe$ %ag of %ones!'
She laughed, then leaned %ac# on he$ haunches and sta$ed at 'e! He$ navel was a tiny %lac# cup!
The$e was so'ething )uee$ly, att$actively sna#eli#e in he$ postu$e! 'Eve$ything down the$e is
death,' she said, and p$essed he$ cold pal's and white, p$uney finge$s to 'y chee#s! She tu$ned 'y
head and then %ent it so " was loo#ing into the la#e! Unde$ the wate$ " saw deco'posing %odies
slipping %y, pulled %y so'e deep cu$$ent! Thei$ wet eyes sta$ed! Thei$ fish*ni%%led noses gaped!
Thei$ tongues lolled %etween white lips li#e tend$ils of wate$weed! So'e of the dead t$ailed pallid
%alloons of &ellyfish guts7 so'e we$e little 'o$e than %one! ,et not even the sight of this floating
cha$nel pa$ade could dive$t 'e f$o' what " wanted! " sh$ugged 'y head f$ee of he$ hands, pushed
he$ down on the %oa$ds, and finally cooled what was so ha$d and contentious, sin#ing it deep! He$
'oon*silve$ed eyes sta$ed up at 'e, th$ough 'e, and " saw that one pupil was la$ge$ than the othe$!
That was how he$ eyes had loo#ed on the T4 'onito$ when " had identified he$ in the 2e$$y
3ounty o$gue! She was dead! y wife was dead and " was fuc#ing he$ co$pse! No$ could even
that $eali=ation stop 'e! '(ho was heB' " c$ied at he$, cove$ing he$ cold flesh as it lay on the wet
%oa$ds! '(ho was he, 6o, fo$ 3h$ist's sa#e tell 'e who he wasC'
"n the no$th %ed$oo' " pulled attie on top of 'e, $elishing the feel of those s'all %$easts
against 'y chest and the length of he$ entwining legs! Then " $olled he$ ove$ on the fa$ side of the
%ed! " felt he$ hand $eaching fo$ 'e, and slapped it away + if she touched 'e whe$e she 'eant to
touch 'e, " would co'e in an instant! 'Sp$ead you$ legs, hu$$y,' " said, and she did! " closed 'y
eyes, shutting out all othe$ senso$y input in favo$ of this! " p$essed fo$wa$d, then stopped! " 'ade
one little ad&ust'ent, pushing at 'y engo$ged penis with the side of 'y hand, then $olled 'y hips
and slipped into he$ li#e a finge$ in a sil#*lined glove! She loo#ed up at 'e, wide*eyed, then put a
hand on 'y chee# and tu$ned 'y head! 'Eve$ything out the$e is death,' she said, as if only
explaining the o%vious! "n the window " saw 9ifth Avenue %etween 9iftieth and Sixtieth + all
those t$endy shops, .i&an and .ally, Tiffany and .e$gdo$f's and Steu%en 5lass! And he$e ca'e
Ha$old O%lows#i, no$th%ound and swinging his pigs#in %$iefcase -the one 6o and " had given hi'
fo$ 3h$ist'as the yea$ %efo$e she died/! .eside hi', ca$$ying a .a$nes and No%le %ag %y the
handles, was the %ountiful, %eauteous Nola, his sec$eta$y! Except he$ %ounty was gone! This was a
g$inning, yellow*&awed s#eleton in a 2onna 1a$an suit and alligato$ pu'ps7 sc$awny, %e$inged
%ones instead of finge$s g$ipped the %ag*handles! Ha$old's teeth &utted in his usual agent's g$in, now
extended to the point of o%scenity! His favo$ite suit, the dou%le%$easted cha$coal*g$ay f$o' 0aul
Stua$t, flapped on hi' li#e a sail in a f$esh %$ee=e! All a$ound the', on %oth sides of the st$eet,
wal#ed the living dead + 'o''y 'u''ies leading %a%y co$pses %y the hands o$ wheeling the'
in expensive p$a's, =o'%ie doo$'en, $eani'ated s#ate%oa$de$s! He$e a tall %lac# 'an with a last
few st$ips of flesh hanging f$o' his face li#e cu$ed dee$*hide wal#ed his s#eletal Alsatian! The ca%*
d$ive$s we$e $otting to $aga 'usic! The faces loo#ing down f$o' the passing %uses we$e s#ulls,
each wea$ing its own ve$sion of Ha$old's g$in + .ey' how are ya' how's the wife' how's the kids'
writing any good books lately? The peanut vendo$s we$e put$efying! ,et none of it could )uench
'e! " was on fi$e! " slipped 'y hands unde$ he$ %uttoc#s, lifting he$, %iting at the sheet -the patte$n,
" saw with no su$p$ise, was %lue $oses/ until " pulled it f$ee of the 'att$ess to #eep f$o' %iting he$
on the nec#, the shoulde$, the %$easts, anywhe$e 'y teeth could $each! 'Tell 'e who he wasC' "
shouted at he$! ',ou #now, " #now you doC' y voice was so 'uffled %y 'y 'outhful of %ed*linen
that " dou%ted if anyone %ut 'e could have unde$stood it! 'Tell 'e, you %itchC'
On the path %etween 6o's studio and the house " stood in the da$# with the typew$ite$ in 'y a$'s
and that d$ea'*spanning e$ection )uive$ing %elow its 'etal %ul# + all that $eady and nothing
willing! Except 'ay%e fo$ the night %$ee=e! Then " %eca'e awa$e " was no longe$ alone! The
sh$oud*thing was %ehind 'e, called li#e the 'oths to the pa$ty lights! "t laughed*a %$a=en, s'o#e*
%$o#en laugh that could %elong to only one wo'an! " didn't see the hand that $eached a$ound 'y
hip to g$ip 'e + the typew$ite$ was in the way + %ut " didn't need to see it to #now its colo$ was
%$own! "t s)uee=ed, slowly tightening, the finge$s w$iggling!
'(hat do you want to #now, suga$B' she as#ed f$o' %ehind 'e! Still laughing! Still teasing! '2o
you $eally want to #now at allB 2o you want to #now o$ do you want to feelB'
'Oh, you'$e #illing 'eC' " c$ied! The typew$ite$ + thi$ty o$ so pounds of ". Select$ic + was
sha#ing %ac# and fo$th in 'y a$'s! " could feel 'y 'uscles twanging li#e guita$ st$ings!
'2o you want to #now who he was, suga$B That nasty 'anB'
'0ust do me' you bitch5' " sc$ea'ed! She laughed again + that ha$sh laughte$ that was al'ost li#e
a cough + and s)uee=ed 'e whe$e the s)uee=ing was %est!
',ou hold still, now,' she said! ',ou hold still, p$etty %oy, 'less you want 'e to ta#e f$ight and
yan# this thing of you$s $ight out %y the ! ! ! ' " lost the $est as the whole wo$ld exploded in an
o$gas' so deep and st$ong that " thought it would si'ply tea$ 'e apa$t! " snapped 'y head %ac#
li#e a 'an %eing hung and e&aculated loo#ing up at the sta$s! " sc$ea'ed + " had to + and on the
la#e, two loons sc$ea'ed %ac#!
At the sa'e ti'e " was on the float! 6o was gone, %ut " could faintly hea$ the sound of the %and
+ *Sa$a and Sonny and the Red*Top .oys tea$ing th$ough '.lac# ountain Rag!' " sat up, da=ed
and spent, fuc#ed hollow! " couldn't see the path leading up to the house, %ut " could disce$n its
switch%ac# cou$se %y the 6apanese lante$ns! y unde$pants lay %eside 'e in a little wet heap! "
pic#ed the' up and sta$ted to put the' on, only %ecause " didn't want to swi' %ac# to sho$e with
the' in 'y hand! " stopped with the' st$etched %etween 'y #nees, loo#ing at 'y finge$s! They
we$e sli'ed with decaying flesh! 0uffing out f$o' %eneath seve$al of the nails we$e clu'ps of to$n*
out hai$! 3o$psehai$!
'Oh 6esus,' " 'oaned! The st$ength went out of 'e! " flopped into wetness! " was in the no$th*
wing %ed$oo'! (hat " had landed in was hot, and at fi$st " thought it was co'e! The di' glow of
the nightlight showed da$#e$ stuff, howeve$! attie was gone and the %ed was full of %lood! 8ying
in the 'iddle of that soa#ing pool was so'ething " at fi$st glance too# to %e a clu'p of flesh o$ a
piece of o$gan! " loo#ed 'o$e closely and saw it was a stuffed ani'al, a %lac#*fu$$ed o%&ect 'atted
$ed with %lood! " lay on 'y side loo#ing at it, wanting to %olt out of the %ed and flee f$o' the $oo'
%ut una%le to do it! y 'uscles we$e in a dead swoon! (ho had " $eally %een having sex with in
this %edB And what had " done to he$B "n 5od's na'e, whatB
'" don't %elieve these lies,' " hea$d 'yself say, and as though it we$e an incantation, " was slapped
%ac# togethe$! That isn't exactly what happened, %u$ it's the only way of saying that see's to co'e
close to whateve$ did! The$e we$e th$ee of 'e + one on the float, one in the no$th %ed$oo', one on
the path + and each one felt that ha$d slap, as if the wind had g$own a fist! The$e was $ushing
%lac#ness, and in it the steady silve$ sha#ing of .unte$'s %ell! Then it faded, and " faded with it! 9o$
a little while " was nowhe$e at all!
" ca'e %ac# to the casual chatte$ of %i$ds on su''e$ vacation and to that peculia$ $ed da$#ness that
'eans the sun is shining th$ough you$ closed eyelids! y nec# was stiff, 'y head was canted at a
wei$d angle, 'y legs we$e folded aw#wa$dly %eneath 'e, and " was hot!
" lifted 'y head with a wince, #nowing even as " opened 'y eyes that " was no longe$ in %ed, no
longe$ on the swi''ing float, no longe$ on the path %etween the house and the studio! "t was
floo$%oa$ds unde$ 'e, ha$d and unco'p$o'ising!
The light was da==ling! " s)uinched 'y eyes closed again and g$oaned li#e a 'an with a
hangove$! " eased the' %ac# open %ehind 'y cupped hands, gave the' ti'e to ad&ust, then
cautiously uncove$ed the', sat all the way up, and loo#ed a$ound! " was in the upstai$s hall, lying
unde$ the %$o#en ai$ conditione$! $s! ese$ve's note still hung f$o' it! Sitting outside 'y office
doo$ was the g$een ". with a piece of pape$ $olled into it! " loo#ed down at 'y feet and saw that
they we$e di$ty! 0ine needles we$e stuc# to 'y soles, and one toe was sc$atched! " got up, stagge$ed
a little -'y $ight leg had gone to sleep/, then %$aced a hand against the wall and stood steady! "
loo#ed down at 'yself! " was wea$ing the 6oc#eys "'d gone to %ed in, and " didn't loo# as if "'d had
an accident in the'! " pulled out the waist%and and pee#ed inside! y coc# loo#ed as it usually did7
s'all and soft, cu$led up and asleep in its thatch of hai$! "f Noonan's 9olly had %een adventu$ing in
the night, the$e was no sign of it now!
'"t su$e felt li#e an adventu$e,' " c$oa#ed! " a$'ed sweat off 'y fo$ehead! "t was stifling up he$e!
'Not the #ind " eve$ $ead a%out in "he .ardy Boys, though!'
Then " $e'e'%e$ed the %lood*soa#ed sheet in the no$th %ed$oo', and the stuffed ani'al lying on
its side in the 'iddle of it! The$e was no sense of $elief attached to the 'e'o$y, that than#*5od*it*
was*only*a*d$ea' feeling you get afte$ a pa$ticula$ly nasty night'a$e! "t felt as $eal as any of the
things "'d expe$ienced in 'y 'easles feve$*deli$iu' ! ! ! and all those things had %een $eal, &ust
disto$ted %y 'y ove$heated %$ain!
" stagge$ed to the stai$s and li'ped down the', holding tight to the %anniste$ in case 'y tingling
leg should %uc#le! At the foot " loo#ed da=edly a$ound the living $oo', as if seeing it fo$ the fi$st
ti'e, and then li'ped down the no$th*wing co$$ido$!
The %ed$oo' doo$ was a&a$ and fo$ a 'o'ent " couldn't %$ing 'yself to push it all the way open
and go in! " was ve$y %adly sca$ed, and 'y 'ind #ept t$ying to $eplay an old episode of Alfred
.itchcock 6resents, the one a%out the 'an who st$angles his wife du$ing an alcoholic %lac#out! He
spends the whole half hou$ loo#ing fo$ he$, and finally finds he$ in the pant$y, %loated and open*
eyed! 1y$a 2evo$e was the only #id of stuffed*ani'al age "'d 'et $ecently, %ut she had %een
sleeping peacefully unde$ he$ ca%%age*$ose cove$let when " left he$ 'othe$ and headed ho'e! "t
was stupid to thin# " had d$iven all the way %ac# to (asp Hill Road, p$o%a%ly wea$ing nothing %ut
'y 6oc#eys, that " had +
What? Raped the woman? Brought the child here? 1n my sleep?
1 got the typewriter' in my sleep' didn't 1? 1t's sitting right upstairs in the goddam hallway!
Big difference between going thirty yards through the woods and fi&e miles down the road to 3
" wasn't going to stand out he$e listening to those )ua$$elling voices in 'y head! "f " wasn't c$a=y
+ and " didn't thin# " was + listening to those contentious assholes would p$o%a%ly send 'e the$e,
and %y the exp$ess! " $eached out and pushed the %ed$oo' doo$ open!
9o$ a 'o'ent " actually saw a sp$eading octopus*patte$n of %lood soa#ing into the sheet, that's
how $eal and focused 'y te$$o$ was! Then " closed 'y eyes tight, opened the', and loo#ed again!
The sheets we$e $u'pled, the %otto' one 'ostly pulled f$ee! " could see the )uilted satin hide of
the 'att$ess! One pillow lay on the fa$ edge of the %ed! The othe$ was sc$unched down at the foot!
The th$ow $ug + a piece of 6o's wo$# + was as#ew, and 'y wate$*glass lay ove$tu$ned on the
nightta%le! The %ed$oo' loo#ed as if it 'ight have %een the site of a %$awl o$ an o$gy, %ut not a
'u$de$! The$e was no %lood and no little stuffed ani'al with %lac# fu$!
" d$opped to 'y #nees and loo#ed unde$ the %ed! Nothing the$e + not even dust*#itties, than#s
to .$enda ese$ve! " loo#ed at the g$ound*sheet again, fi$st passing a hand ove$ its $u'pled
topog$aphy, then pulling it %ac# down and $esecu$ing the elastici=ed co$ne$s! 5$eat invention, those
sheets7 if wo'en gave out the edal of 9$eedo' instead of a %unch of white politicians who neve$
'ade a %ed o$ washed a load of clothes in thei$ lives, the guy who thought up fitted sheets would
undou%tedly have gotten a piece of that tin %y now! "n a Rose 5a$den ce$e'ony!
(ith the sheet pulled taut, " loo#ed again! No %lood, not a single d$op! The$e was no stiffening
patch of se'en, eithe$! The fo$'e$ " hadn't $eally expected -o$ so " was al$eady telling 'yself/, %ut
what a%out the latte$B At the ve$y least, "'d had the wo$ld's 'ost c$eative wet*d$ea' + a t$iptych in
which " had sc$ewed two wo'en and gotten a hand&o% f$o' a thi$d, all at the sa'e ti'e! " thought "
had that 'o$ning*afte$ feeling, too, the one you get when the p$evious night's sex has %een of the
head%usting va$iety! .ut if the$e had %een fi$ewo$#s, whe$e was the %u$nt gunpowde$B
'"n 6o's studio, 'ost li#ely,' " told the e'pty, sunny $oo'! 'O$ on the path %etween he$e and the$e!
6ust %e glad you didn't leave it in attie 2evo$e, %uc#o! An affai$ with a post*adolescent widow
you don't need!'
A pa$t of 'e disag$eed7 a pa$t of 'e thought attie 2evo$e was exactly what " did need! .ut "
hadn't had sex with he$ last night, any 'o$e than " had had sex with 'y dead wife out on the
swi''ing float o$ gotten a hand&o% f$o' Sa$a Tidwell! Now that " saw " hadn't #illed a nice little
#id eithe$, 'y thoughts tu$ned %ac# to the typew$ite$! (hy had " gotten itB (hy %othe$B
Oh 'an! (hat a silly )uestion! y wife 'ight have %een #eeping sec$ets f$o' 'e, 'ay%e even
having an affai$7 the$e 'ight %e ghosts in the house7 the$e 'ight %e a $ich old 'an half a 'ile south
who wanted to put a sha$p stic# into 'e and then %$ea# it off7 the$e 'ight %e a few toys in 'y own
hu'%le attic, fo$ that 'atte$! .ut as " stood the$e in a %$ight shaft of sunlight, loo#ing at 'y shadow
on the fa$ wall, only one thought see'ed to 'atte$D " had gone out to 'y wife's studio and gotten
'y old typew$ite$, and the$e was only one $eason to do so'ething li#e that!
" went into the %ath$oo', wanting to get $id of the sweat on 'y %ody and the di$t on 'y feet
%efo$e doing anything else! " $eached fo$ the showe$*handle, then stopped! The tu% was full of
wate$! Eithe$ " had fo$ so'e $eason filled it du$ing 'y sleepwal# ! ! ! o$ so'ething else had! "
$eached fo$ the d$ain*leve$, then stopped again, $e'e'%e$ing that 'o'ent on the shoulde$ of Route
L? when 'y 'outh had filled up with the taste of cold wate$! " $eali=ed " was waiting fo$ it to
happen again! (hen it didn't, " opened the %athtu% d$ain to let out the standing wate$ and sta$ted the
showe$!
" could have %$ought the Select$ic downstai$s, pe$haps even lugged it out onto the dec# whe$e the$e
was a little %$ee=e co'ing ove$ the su$face of the la#e, %ut " didn't! " had %$ought it all the way to
the doo$ of 'y office, and 'y office was whe$e "'d wo$# ! ! ! if " could wo$#! "'d wo$# in the$e even
if the te'pe$atu$e %eneath the $oofpea# %uilt to a hund$ed and twenty deg$ees ! ! ! which, %y th$ee
in the afte$noon, it &ust 'ight!
The pape$ $olled into the 'achine was an old pin#*ca$%on $eceipt f$o' 3lic#C, the photo shop in
3astle Roc# whe$e 6o had %ought he$ supplies when we we$e down he$e! "'d put it in so that the
%lan# side faced the 3ou$ie$ type*%all! On it " had typed the na'es of 'y little ha$e', as if " had
t$ied in so'e st$uggling way to $epo$t on 'y th$ee*faceted d$ea' even while it was going onD
Jo Sara Mattie Jo Sara Mattie Mattie Mattie Sara Sara Jo Johanna Sara Jo MattieSaraJo.
.elow this, in lowe$ caseD
normal sperm count sperm norm all's rosy
" opened the office doo$, ca$$ied the typew$ite$ in, and put it in its old place %eneath the poste$ of
Richa$d Nixon! " pulled the pin# slip out of the $olle$, %alled it up, and tossed it into the
waste%as#et! Then " pic#ed up the Select$ic's plug and stuc# it in the %ase%oa$d soc#et! y hea$t
was %eating ha$d and fast, the way it had when " was thi$teen and cli'%ing the ladde$ to the high
%oa$d at the ,*pool! " had cli'%ed that ladde$ th$ee ti'es when " was twelve and then slun# %ac#
down it again7 once " tu$ned thi$teen, the$e could %e no chic#ening out + " $eally had to do it!
" thought "'d seen a fan hiding in the fa$ co$ne$ of the closet, %ehind the %ox 'a$#ed 5A25ETS! "
sta$ted in that di$ection, then tu$ned a$ound again with a $agged little laugh! "'d had 'o'ents of
confidence %efo$e, hadn't "B ,es! And then the i$on %ands had cla'ped a$ound 'y chest! "t would
%e stupid to get out the fan and then discove$ " had no %usiness in this $oo' afte$ all!
'Ta#e it easy,' " said, 'ta#e it easy!' .ut " couldn't, no 'o$e than that na$$ow*chested %oy in the
$idiculous pu$ple %athing suit had %een a%le to ta#e it easy when he wal#ed to the end of the diving
%oa$d, the pool so g$een %elow hi', the up$aised faces of the %oys and gi$ls in it so s'all, so small!
" %ent to one of the d$awe$s on the $ight side of the des# and pulled so ha$d it ca'e all the way
out! " got 'y %a$e foot out of its landing =one &ust in ti'e and %a$#ed a gust of loud, hu'o$less
laughte$! The$e was half a $ea' of pape$ in the d$awe$! The edges had that faintly c$ispy loo# pape$
gets when it's %een sitting fo$ a long ti'e! " no 'o$e than saw it %efo$e $e'e'%e$ing " had %$ought
'y own supply + stuff a good deal f$eshe$ than this! " left it whe$e it was and put the d$awe$ %ac#
in its hole! "t too# seve$al t$ies to get it on its t$ac#s7 'y hands we$e sha#ing!
At last " sat down in 'y des# chai$, hea$ing the sa'e old c$ea#s as it too# 'y weight and the
sa'e old $u'%le of the caste$s as " $olled it fo$wa$d, snugging 'y legs into the #neehole! Then " sat
facing the #ey%oa$d, sweating ha$d, still $e'e'%e$ing the high %oa$d at the ,, how sp$ingy it had
%een unde$ 'y %a$e feet as " wal#ed its length, $e'e'%e$ing the echoing )uality of the voices
%elow 'e, $e'e'%e$ing the s'ell of chlo$ine and the steady low th$o% of the ai$*exchange$sD
fwung*fwung*fwung*fwung, as if the wate$ had its own sec$et hea$t%eat! " had stood at the end of the
%oa$d wonde$ing -and not fo$ the fi$st ti'eC/ if you could %e pa$aly=ed if you hit the wate$ w$ong!
0$o%a%ly not, %ut you could die of fea$! The$e we$e docu'ented cases of that in Ripley's Belie&e 1t
or Not, which se$ved 'e as science %etween the ages of eight and fou$teen!
-o on5 6o's voice c$ied! y ve$sion of he$ voice was usually cal' and collected7 this ti'e it was
sh$ill! Stop dithering and go on5
" $eached fo$ the ".'s $oc#e$*switch, now $e'e'%e$ing the day " had d$opped 'y (o$d Six
p$og$a' into the 0owe$%oo#'s t$ash! -oodbye' old pal, " had thought!
'0lease let this wo$#,' " said! '0lease!'
" lowe$ed 'y hand and flic#ed the switch! The 'achine ca'e on! The 3ou$ie$ %all did a
p$eli'ina$y twi$l, li#e a %allet dance$ standing in the wings, waiting to go on! " pic#ed up a piece of
pape$, saw 'y sweaty finge$s we$e leaving 'a$#s, and didn't ca$e! " $olled it into the 'achine,
cente$ed it, then w$ote
Chapter One
and waited fo$ the sto$' to %$ea#!
3HA0TER 9OURTEEN
The $inging of the phone + o$, 'o$e accu$ately, the way " recei&ed the $inging of the phone + was
as fa'ilia$ as the c$ea#s of 'y chai$ o$ the hu' of the old ". Select$ic! "t see'ed to co'e f$o'
fa$ away at fi$st, then to app$oach li#e a whistling t$ain co'ing down on a c$ossing!
The$e was no extension in 'y office o$ 6o's7 the upstai$s phone, an old*fashioned $ota$y*dial, was
on a ta%le in the hall %etween the' + in what 6o used to call 'no*'an's*land!' The te'pe$atu$e out
the$e 'ust have %een at least ninety deg$ees, %ut the ai$ still felt cool on 'y s#in afte$ the office! "
was so oiled with sweat that " loo#ed li#e a slightly pot*%ellied ve$sion of the 'uscle*%oys "
so'eti'es saw when " was wo$#ing out!
'HelloB'
'i#eB 2id " wa#e youB (e$e you sleepingB' "t was attie, %ut a diffe$ent one f$o' last night!
This one wasn't af$aid o$ even tentative7 this one sounded so happy she was al'ost %u%%ling ove$!
"t was al'ost ce$tainly the attie who had att$acted 8ance 2evo$e!
'Not sleeping,' " said! '($iting a little!'
'5et outC " thought you we$e $eti$ed!'
'" thought so, too,' " said, '%ut 'ay%e " was a little hasty! (hat's going onB ,ou sound ove$ the
'oon!'
'" &ust got off the phone with 6ohn Sto$$ow + '
ReallyB How long had " %een on the second floo$, anywayB " loo#ed at 'y w$ist and saw nothing
%ut a pale ci$cle! "t was half*past f$ec#les and s#in o'cloc#, as we used to say when we we$e #ids7
'y watch was downstai$s in the no$th %ed$oo', p$o%a%ly lying in a puddle of wate$ f$o' 'y
ove$tu$ned night*glass!
' + his age, and that he can su%poena the othe$ sonC'
'(hoa,' " said! ',ou lost 'e! 5o %ac# and slow down!'
She did! Telling the ha$d news didn't ta#e long -it $a$ely does/D Sto$$ow was co'ing up
to'o$$ow! He would land at 3ounty Ai$po$t and stay at the 8oo#out Roc# Hotel in 3astle 4iew!
The two of the' would spend 'ost of 9$iday discussing the case! 'Oh, and he found a lawye$ fo$
you,' she said! 'To go with you to you$ deposition! " thin# he's f$o' 8ewiston!'
"t all sounded good, %ut what 'atte$ed a lot 'o$e than the %a$e facts was that attie had
$ecove$ed he$ will to fight! Until this 'o$ning -if it was still 'o$ning7 the light co'ing in the
window a%ove the %$o#en ai$ conditione$ suggested that if it was, it wouldn't %e 'uch longe$/ "
hadn't $eali=ed how gloo'y the young wo'an in the $ed sund$ess and tidy white snea#e$s had %een!
How fa$ down the $oad to %elieving she would lose he$ child!
'This is g$eat! "'' so glad, attie!'
'And you did it! "f you we$e he$e, "'d give you the %iggest #iss you eve$ had!'
'He told you you could win, didn't heB'
',es!'
'And you %elieve hi'!'
',esC' Then he$ voice d$opped a little! 'He wasn't exactly th$illed when " told hi' "'d had you
ove$ to dinne$ last night, though!'
'No,' " said! '" didn't thin# he would %e!'
'" told hi' we ate in the ya$d and he said we only had to %e inside togethe$ fo$ sixty seconds to
sta$t the gossip!'
'"'d say he's got an insultingly low opinion of ,an#ee lovin,' " said, '%ut of cou$se he's f$o' New
,o$#!'
She laughed ha$de$ than 'y little &o#e wa$$anted, " thought! Out of se'i*hyste$ical $elief that she
now had a couple of p$otecto$sB .ecause the whole su%&ect of sex was a tende$ one fo$ he$ &ust
nowB .est not to speculate!
'He didn't paddle 'e too ha$d a%out it, %ut he 'ade it clea$ that he would if we did it again!
(hen this is ove$, though, "'' having you fo$ a real 'eal! (e'll have eve$ything you li#e, &ust the
way you li#e it!'
4&erything you like' )ust the way you like it( And she was, %y 5od and Sonny 6esus, co'pletely
unawa$e that what she was saying 'ight have anothe$ 'eaning + " would have %et on it! " closed
'y eyes fo$ a 'o'ent, s'iling! (hy not s'ileB Eve$ything she was saying sounded a%solutely
g$eat, especially once you clea$ed the confines of ichael Noonan's di$ty 'ind! "t sounded li#e we
'ight have the expected fai$y*tale ending, if we could #eep ou$ cou$age and hold ou$ cou$se! And
if " could $est$ain 'yself f$o' 'a#ing a pass at a gi$l young enough to %e 'y daughte$ ! ! ! outside
of 'y d$ea's, that was! "f " couldn't, " p$o%a%ly dese$ved whateve$ " got! .ut 1y$a wouldn't! She
was the hood o$na'ent in all this, doo'ed to go whe$eve$ the ca$ too# he$! "f " got any of the
w$ong ideas, "'d do well to $e'e'%e$ that!
'"f the &udge sends 2evo$e ho'e e'pty*handed, "'ll ta#e you out to Renoi$ Nights in 0o$tland and
%uy you nine cou$ses of 9$ench chow,' " said! 'Sto$$ow, too! "'ll even sp$ing fo$ the legal %eagle "''
dating on 9$iday! So who's %ette$ than 'e, huhB'
'No one " #now,' she said, sounding se$ious! '"'ll pay you %ac# fo$ this, i#e! "'' down now, %ut "
won't always %e down! "f it ta#es 'e the $est of 'y life, "'ll pay you %ac#!'
'attie, you don't have to + '
'" do,' she said with )uiet vehe'ence! '" do! And " have to do so'ething else today, too!'
'(hat's thatB' " loved hea$ing he$ sound the way she did this 'o$ning + so happy and f$ee, li#e a
p$isone$ who has &ust %een pa$doned and let out of &ail + %ut al$eady " was loo#ing longingly at the
doo$ to 'y office! " couldn't do 'uch 'o$e today, "'d end up %a#ed li#e an apple if " t$ied, %ut "
wanted anothe$ page o$ two, at least! 2o what you want, %oth wo'en had said in 'y d$ea's! 2o
what you want!
'" have to %uy 1y$a the %ig teddy%ea$ they have at the 3astle Roc# (al*a$t,' she said! '"'ll tell
he$ it's fo$ %eing a good gi$l %ecause " can't tell he$ it's fo$ wal#ing in the 'iddle of the $oad when
you we$e co'ing the othe$ way!'
'6ust not a %lac# one,' " said! The wo$ds we$e out of 'y 'outh %efo$e " #new they we$e even in
'y head!
'HuhB' Sounding sta$tled and dou%tful!
'" said %$ing 'e %ac# one,' " said, the wo$ds once again out and down the wi$e %efo$e " even
#new they we$e the$e!
'ay%e " will,' she said, sounding a'used! Then he$ tone g$ew se$ious again! 'And if " said
anything last night that 'ade you unhappy, even fo$ a 'inute, "'' so$$y! " neve$ fo$ the wo$ld + '
'2on't wo$$y,' " said! '"'' not unhappy! A little confused, that's all! "n fact "'d p$etty 'uch
fo$gotten a%out 6o's 'yste$y date!' A lie, %ut in what see'ed to 'e to %e a good cause!
'That's p$o%a%ly fo$ the %est! " won't #eep you + go on %ac# to wo$#! "t's what you want to do,
isn't itB'
" was sta$tled! '(hat 'a#es you say thatB'
'" don't #now, " &ust ! ! ! ' She stopped! And " suddenly #new two thingsD (hat she had %een a%out
to say, and that she wouldn't say it! 1 dreamed about you last night( 1 dreamed about us together(
were going to make lo&e and one of us said 'Do what you want(' 2r maybe' 1 don't know' maybe we
both said it(
0e$haps so'eti'es ghosts we$e alive + 'inds and desi$es divo$ced f$o' thei$ %odies, unloc#ed
i'pulses floating unseen! 5hosts f$o' the id, spoo#s f$o' low places!
'attieB Still the$eB'
'Su$e, you %et! 2o you want 'e to stay in touchB O$ will you hea$ all you need f$o' 6ohn
Sto$$owB'
'"f you don't stay in touch, "'ll %e pissed at you! Royally!'
She laughed! '" will, then! .ut not when you'$e wo$#ing! 5ood%ye, i#e! And than#s again! So
'uch!'
" told he$ good%ye, then stood the$e fo$ a 'o'ent loo#ing at the old fashioned .a#elite phone
handset afte$ she had hung up! She'd call and #eep 'e updated, %ut not when " was wo$#ing! How
would she #now when that wasB She &ust would! As "'d #nown last night that she was lying when
she said 6o and the 'an with the el%ow patches on the sleeves of his spo$tcoat had wal#ed off
towa$d the pa$#ing lot! attie had %een wea$ing a pai$ of white sho$ts and a halte$ top when she
called 'e, no d$ess o$ s#i$t $e)ui$ed today %ecause it was (ednesday and the li%$a$y was closed on
(ednesday!
,ou don't know any of that( ,ou're )ust making it up(
.ut " wasn't! "f "'d %een 'a#ing it up, " p$o%a%ly would have put he$ in so'ething a little 'o$e
suggestive + a e$$y (idow f$o' 4icto$ia's Sec$et, pe$haps!
That thought called up anothe$! Do what you want, they had said! .oth of the'! Do what you
want( And that was a line " #new! (hile on 1ey 8a$go "'d $ead an Atlantic #onthly essay on
po$nog$aphy %y so'e fe'inist! " wasn't su$e which one, only that it hadn't %een Nao'i (olf o$
3a'ille 0aglia! This wo'an had %een of the conse$vative st$ipe, and she had used that ph$ase!
Sally Tisdale, 'ay%eB O$ was 'y 'ind &ust hea$ing echo*disto$tions of Sa$a TidwellB (hoeve$ it
had %een, she'd clai'ed that 'do what " want' was the %asis of e$otica which appealed to wo'en and
'do what you want' was the %asis of po$nog$aphy which appealed to 'en! (o'en i'agine spea#ing
the fo$'e$ line in sexual situations7 'en i'agine having the latte$ line spo#en to the'! And, the
w$ite$ went on, when $eal*wo$ld sex goes %ad + so'eti'es tu$ning violent, so'eti'es sha'ing,
so'eti'es &ust unsuccessful f$o' the fe'ale pa$tne$'s point of view + po$n is often the unindicted
co*conspi$ato$! The 'an is apt to $ound on the wo'an ang$ily and c$y, ',ou wanted 'e toC Nuit
lying and ad'it itC ,ou wanted 'e toC'
The w$ite$ clai'ed it was what eve$y 'an hoped to hea$ in the %ed$oo'D 2o what you want! .ite
'e, sodo'i=e 'e, lic# %etween 'y toes, d$in# wine out of 'y navel, give 'e a hai$%$ush and $aise
you$ ass fo$ 'e to paddle, it doesn't 'atte$! 2o what you want! The doo$ is closed and we a$e he$e,
%ut $eally only you a$e he$e, " a' &ust a willing extension of you$ fantasies and only you a$e he$e! "
have no wants of 'y own, no needs of 'y own, no ta%oos! 2o what you want to this shadow, this
fantasy, this ghost!
"'d thought the essayist at least fifty pe$ cent full of shit7 the assu'ption that a 'an can find $eal
sexual pleasu$e only %y tu$ning a wo'an into a #ind of &ac#off accesso$y says 'o$e a%out the
o%se$ve$ than the pa$ticipants! This lady had had a lot of &a$gon and a fai$ a'ount of wit, %ut
unde$neath she was only saying what So'e$set augha', 6o's old favo$ite, had had Sadie
Tho'pson say in 'Rain,' a sto$y w$itten eighty yea$s %efo$eD 'en a$e pigs, filthy, di$ty pigs, all of
the'! .ut we a$e not pigs, as a $ule, not %easts, o$ at least not unless we a$e pushed to the final
ext$e'ity! And if we a$e pushed to it, the issue is $a$ely sex7 it's usually te$$ito$y! "'ve hea$d
fe'inists a$gue that to 'en sex and te$$ito$y a$e inte$changea%le, and that is ve$y fa$ f$o' the t$uth!
" padded %ac# to the office, opened the doo$, and %ehind 'e the telephone $ang again! And he$e
was anothe$ fa'ilia$ sensation, %ac# fo$ a $etu$n visit afte$ fou$ yea$sD that ange$ at the telephone,
the u$ge to si'ply $ip it out of the wall and fi$e it ac$oss the $oo'! (hy did the whole wo$ld have
to call while " was w$itingB (hy couldn't they &ust ! ! ! well! ! let 'e do what " wantedB
" gave a dou%tful laugh and $etu$ned to the phone, seeing the wet handp$int on it f$o' 'y last
call!
'HelloB'
'" said to stay visi%le while you we$e with he$!'
'5ood 'o$ning to you, too, 8awye$ Sto$$ow!'
',ou 'ust %e in anothe$ ti'e*=one up the$e, chu'! "'ve got one*fifteen down he$e in New ,o$#!'
'" had dinne$ with he$,' " said! 'Outside! "t's t$ue that " $ead the little #id a sto$y and helped put he$
to %ed, %ut + '
'" i'agine half the town thin#s you'$e %opping each othe$'s %$ains out %y now, and the othe$ half
will thin# it if " have to show up fo$ he$ in cou$t!' .ut he didn't sound $eally ang$y7 " thought he
sounded as though he was having a happy*face day!
'3an they 'a#e you tell who's paying fo$ you$ se$vicesB' " as#ed!
'At the custody hea$ing, " 'eanB'
'Nope!'
'At 'y deposition on 9$idayB'
'3h$ist, no! 2u$gin would lose all c$edi%ility as gua$dian ad litem if he went in that di$ection!
Also, they have $easons to stee$ clea$ of the sex angle! Thei$ focus is on attie as neglectful and
pe$haps a%usive! 0$oving that o' isn't a nun )uit wo$#ing a$ound the ti'e @ramer &s( @ramer
ca'e out in the 'ovie theate$s! No$ is that the only p$o%le' they have with the issue!' He now
sounded positively gleeful!
'Tell 'e!'
'ax 2evo$e is eighty*five and divo$ced! Twice divo$ced, in point of fact! .efo$e awa$ding
custody to a single 'an of his age, seconda$y custody has to %e ta#en into conside$ation! "t is, in
fact, the single 'ost i'po$tant issue, othe$ than the allegations of a%use and neglect levelled at the
'othe$!'
'(hat a$e those allegationsB 2o you #nowB'
'No! attie doesn't eithe$, %ecause they'$e fa%$ications! She's a sweetie, %y the way + '
',eah, she is!'
' + and " thin# she's going to 'a#e a g$eat witness! " can't wait to 'eet he$ in pe$son! eanti'e,
don't sidet$ac# 'e! (e'$e tal#ing a%out seconda$y custody, $ightB'
'Right!'
'2evo$e has a daughte$ who has %een decla$ed 'entally inco'petent and lives in an institution
so'ewhe$e in 3alifo$nia + odesto, " thin#! Not a good %et fo$ custody!'
'"t wouldn't see' so!'
'The son, Roge$, is ! ! ! ' " hea$d a faint flutte$ing of note%oo# pages! ' ! ! ! fifty*fou$! So he's not
exactly a sp$ing chic#en, eithe$! Still, the$e a$e lots of guys who %eco'e daddies at that age
nowadays7 it's a %$ave new wo$ld! .ut Roge$ is a ho'osexual!'
" thought of .ill 2ean saying, Rump*wrangler( ;nderstand there's a lot of that going around out
them in alifornia(
'" thought you said sex doesn't 'atte$!'
'ay%e " should have said hetero sex doesn't 'atte$! "n ce$tain states + 3alifo$nia is one of the'
homo sex doesn't 'atte$, eithe$ ! ! ! o$ not as 'uch! .ut this case isn't going to %e ad&udicated in
3alifo$nia! "t's going to %e ad&udicated in aine, whe$e fol#s a$e less enlightened a%out how well
two 'a$$ied 'en + 'a$$ied to each othe$, " 'ean + can $aise a little gi$l!'
'Roge$ 2evo$e is marriedB' O#ay! " ad'it it! " now felt a ce$tain ho$$ified glee 'yself! " was
asha'ed of it + Roge$ 2evo$e was &ust a guy living his life, and he 'ight not have had 'uch o$
anything to do with his elde$ly dad's cu$$ent ente$p$ise + %ut " felt it &ust the sa'e!
'He and a softwa$e designe$ na'ed o$$is Ridding tied the #not in :;;L,' 6ohn said! '" found that
on the fi$st co'pute$ sweep! And if this does wind up in cou$t, " intend to 'a#e as 'uch of it as "
possi%ly can! " don't #now how 'uch that will %e + at this point it's i'possi%le to p$edict + %ut if
" get a chance to paint a pictu$e of that %$ight*eyed, chee$ful little gi$l g$owing up with two elde$ly
gays who p$o%a%ly spend 'ost of thei$ lives in co'pute$ chat*$oo's speculating a%out what
3aptain 1i$# and $! Spoc# 'ight have done afte$ the lights we$e out in office$s' count$y ! ! ! well,
if " get that chance, "'ll ta#e it!'
'"t see's a little 'ean,' " said! " hea$d 'yself spea#ing in the tone of a 'an who wants to %e
dissuaded, pe$haps even laughed at, %ut that didn't happen!
'Of cou$se it's 'ean! "t feels li#e swe$ving up onto the sidewal# to #noc# ove$ a couple of
innocent %ystande$s! Roge$ 2evo$e and o$$is Ridding don't deal d$ugs, t$affic in little %oys, o$ $o%
old ladies! .ut this is custody, and custody does an even %ette$ &o% than divo$ce of tu$ning hu'an
%eings into insects! This one isn't as %ad as it could %e, %ut it's %ad enough %ecause it's so naked!
ax 2evo$e ca'e up the$e to his old ho'etown fo$ one $eason and one $eason onlyD to %uy a #id!
That 'a#es 'e 'ad!'
" g$inned, i'agining a lawye$ who loo#ed li#e El'e$ 9udd standing outside of a $a%%it*hole
'a$#ed 2E4ORE with a shotgun!
'y 'essage to 2evo$e is going to %e ve$y si'pleD the p$ice of the #id &ust went up! 0$o%a%ly to
a figu$e highe$ than even he can affo$d!'
'1f it goes to cou$t + you've said that a couple of ti'es now! 2o you thin# the$e's a chance
2evo$e 'ight &ust d$op it and go awayB'
'A p$etty good one, yeah! "'d say an excellent one if he wasn't old and used to getting his own
way! The$e's also the )uestion of whethe$ o$ not he's still sha$p enough to #now whe$e his %est
inte$est lies! "'ll t$y fo$ a 'eeting with hi' and his lawye$ while "'' up the$e, %ut so fa$ " haven't
'anaged to get past his sec$eta$y!'
'Rogette (hit'o$eB'
'No, " thin# she's a step fu$the$ up the ladde$! " haven't tal#ed to he$ yet, eithe$! .ut " will!'
'T$y eithe$ Richa$d Osgood o$ 5eo$ge 9oot'an,' " said! 'Eithe$ of the' 'ay %e a%le to put you in
touch with 2evo$e o$ 2evo$e's chief counsel!'
'"'ll want to tal# to the (hit'o$e wo'an in any case! en li#e 2evo$e tend to g$ow 'o$e and
'o$e dependent on thei$ close adviso$s as they g$ow olde$, and she could %e a #ey to getting hi' to
let this go! She could also %e a headache fo$ us! She 'ight u$ge hi' to fight, possi%ly %ecause she
$eally thin#s he can win and possi%ly %ecause she wants to watch the fu$ fly! Also, she 'ight 'a$$y
hi'!'
'#arry hi'B'
'(hy notB He could have he$ sign a p$e*nup + " could no 'o$e' int$oduce that in cou$t than his
lawye$s could go fishing fo$ who hi$ed attie's lawye$ + and it would st$engthen his chances!'
'6ohn, "'ve seen the wo'an! She's got to %e seventy he$self!'
'.ut she's a potential fe'ale playe$ in a custody case involving a little gi$l, and she's a laye$
%etween old 'an 2evo$e and the 'a$$ied gay couple! (e &ust need to #eep it in 'ind!'
'O#ay!' " loo#ed at the office doo$ again, %ut not so longingly! The$e co'es a point when you'$e
done fo$ the day whethe$ you want to %e o$ not, and " thought " had $eached that point! 0e$haps in
the evening ! ! !
'The lawye$ " got fo$ you is na'ed Ro'eo .issonette!' He paused! '3an that %e a $eal na'eB'
'"s he f$o' 8ewistonB'
',es, how did you #nowB'
'.ecause in aine, especially a$ound 8ewiston, that can %e a $eal na'e! A' " supposed to go see
hi'B' " didn't want to go see hi'! "t was fifty 'iles to 8ewiston ove$ two*lane $oads which would
now %e c$awling with ca'pe$s and (inne%agos! (hat " wanted was to go swi''ing and then ta#e
a long nap! A long dreamless nap!
',ou don't need to! 3all hi' and tal# to hi' a little! He's only a safety net, $eally + he'll o%&ect if
the )uestioning leaves the incident on the 'o$ning of 6uly 9ou$th! A%out that incident you tell the
t$uth, the whole t$uth, and nothing %ut the t$uth! 5ot itB'
',es!'
'Tal# to hi' %efo$e, then 'eet hi' on 9$iday at ! ! ! wait ! ! ! it's $ight he$e ! ! ! ' The note%oo#
pages flutte$ed again! 'eet hi' at the Route :FA 2ine$ at nine*fifteen! 3offee! Tal# a little, get to
#now each othe$, 'ay%e flip fo$ the chec#! "'ll %e with attie, getting as 'uch as " can! (e 'ay
want to hi$e a p$ivate dic#!'
'" love it when you tal# di$ty!'
'Uh*huh! "'' going to see that %ills go to you$ guy 5oldac$e! He'll send the' to you$ agent, and
you$ agent can + '
'No,' " said! '"nst$uct 5oldac$e to send the' di$ectly he$e! Ha$old's a 6ewish 'othe$! How 'uch is
this going to cost 'eB'
'Seventy*five thousand dolla$s, 'ini'u',' he said with no hesitation at all! (ith no apology in
his voice, eithe$!
'2on't tell attie!'
'All $ight! A$e you having any fun yet, i#eB'
',ou #now, " so$t of a',' " said thoughtfully!
'9o$ seventy*five g$and, you should!' (e said ou$ good%yes and 6ohn hung up!
As " put 'y own phone %ac# into its c$adle, it occu$$ed to 'e that " had lived 'o$e in the last
five days than " had in the last fou$ yea$s!
This ti'e the phone didn't $ing and " 'ade it all the way %ac# into the office, %ut " #new " was
definitely done fo$ the day! " sat down at the "., hit the RETURN #ey a couple of ti'es, and was
%eginning to w$ite 'yself a next*note at the %otto' of the page "'d %een wo$#ing on when the
phone inte$$upted 'e! (hat a sou$ little doodad the telephone is, and what little good news we get
f$o' itC Today had %een an exception, though, and " thought " could sign off with a g$in! " was
wo$#ing, afte$ all + working! 0a$t of 'e still 'a$velled that " was sitting he$e at all, %$eathing
easily, 'y hea$t %eating steadily in 'y chest, and not even a gli''e$ of an anxiety attac# on 'y
pe$sonal event ho$i=on! " w$oteD
[NEXT: Drake to ai!or". Stops on the #ay at $e%eta&le stan" to talk to the %uy
#ho runs it' ol" source' nee"s a %oo" ( color!ul name. Stra# hat. Disney#orl"
tee)shirt. They talk a&out Shackle!or".*
" tu$ned the $olle$ until the ". spat this page out, stuc# it on top of the 'anusc$ipt, and &otted a
final note to 'yselfD '3all Ted Rosenc$ief a%out Raifo$d!' Rosenc$ief was a $eti$ed Navy 'an who
lived in 2e$$y! " had e'ployed hi' as a $esea$ch assistant on seve$al %oo#s, using hi' on one
p$o&ect to find out how pape$ was 'ade, what the 'ig$ato$y ha%its of ce$tain co''on %i$ds we$e
fo$ anothe$, a little %it a%out the a$chitectu$e of py$a'id %u$ial $oo's fo$ a thi$d! And it's always 'a
little %it' " want, neve$ 'the whole da'n thing!' As a w$ite$, 'y 'otto has always %een don't confuse
'e with the facts! The A$thu$ Hailey type of fiction is %eyond 'e + " can't $ead it, let alone w$ite
it! " want to #now &ust enough so " can lie colo$fully! Rosie #new that, and we had always wo$#ed
well togethe$!
This ti'e " needed to #now a little %it a%out 9lo$ida's Raifo$d 0$ison, and what the deathhouse
down the$e is $eally li#e! " also needed a little %it on the psychology of se$ial #ille$s! " thought
Rosie would p$o%a%ly %e glad to hea$ f$o' 'e ! ! ! al'ost as glad as " was to finally have
so'ething to call hi' a%out!
" pic#ed up the eight dou%le*spaced pages " had w$itten and fanned th$ough the', still a'a=ed at
thei$ existence! Had an old ". typew$ite$ and a 3ou$ie$ type*%all %een the sec$et all alongB That
was ce$tainly how it see'ed!
(hat had co'e out was also a'a=ing! "'d had ideas du$ing 'y fou$*yea$ sa%%atical7 the$e had
%een no w$ite$'s %loc# in that $ega$d! One had %een $eally g$eat, the so$t of thing which ce$tainly
would have %eco'e a novel if "'d still %een a%le to w$ite novels! Half a do=en to a do=en we$e of the
so$t "'d classify 'p$etty good,' 'eaning they'd do in a pinch ! ! ! o$ if they happened to unexpectedly
g$ow tall and 'yste$ious ove$night, li#e 6ac#'s %eanstal#! So'eti'es they do! ost we$e gli''e$s,
little 'what*ifs' that ca'e and went li#e shooting sta$s while " was d$iving o$ wal#ing o$ &ust lying in
%ed at night and waiting to go to sleep!
"he Red*Shirt #an was a what*if! One day " saw a 'an in a %$ight $ed shi$t washing the show
windows of the 63 0enney sto$e in 2e$$y + this was not long %efo$e 0enney's 'oved out to the
'all! A young 'an and wo'an wal#ed unde$ his ladde$ ! ! ! ve$y %ad luc#, acco$ding to the old
supe$stition! These two didn't #now where they we$e wal#ing, though + they we$e holding hands,
d$in#ing deeply of each othe$'s eyes, as co'pletely in love as any two twenty*yea$*olds in the
histo$y of the wo$ld! The 'an was tall, and as " watched, the top of his head ca'e within an ace of
clipping the window*washe$'s feet! "f that had happened, the whole wo$#s 'ight have gone ove$!
The enti$e incident was histo$y in five seconds! ($iting "he Red*Shirt #an too# five 'onths!
Except in t$uth, the enti$e %oo# was done in a what*if second! " i'agined a collision instead of a
nea$*'iss! Eve$ything else followed f$o' the$e! The w$iting was &ust sec$eta$ial!
The idea " was cu$$ently wo$#ing on wasn't one of i#e's Really 5$eat "deas -6o's voice ca$efully
'ade the capitals/, %ut it wasn't a what*if, eithe$! No$ was it 'uch li#e 'y old gothic suspense
ya$ns7 4! 3! And$ews with a p$ic# was nowhe$e in sight this ti'e! .ut it felt solid, li#e the $eal
thing, and this 'o$ning it had co'e out as natu$ally as a %$eath!
Andy 2$a#e was a p$ivate investigato$ in 1ey 8a$go! He was fo$ty yea$s old, divo$ced, the fathe$
of a th$ee*yea$*old gi$l! At the open he was in the 1ey (est ho'e of a wo'an na'ed Regina
(hiting! $s! (hiting also had a little gi$l, he$s five yea$s old! $s! (hiting was 'a$$ied to an
ext$e'ely $ich develope$ who did not #now what Andy 2$a#e #newD that until :;;F, Regina Taylo$
(hiting had %een Tiffany Taylo$, a high*p$iced ia'i call*gi$l!
That 'uch " had w$itten %efo$e the phone sta$ted $inging! He$e is what " #new %eyond that point,
the sec$eta$ial wo$# "'d do ove$ the next seve$al wee#s, assu'ing that 'y 'a$vellously $ecove$ed
a%ility to wo$# held upD
One day when 1a$en (hiting was th$ee, the phone had $ung while she and he$ 'othe$ we$e
sitting in the patio hot tu%! Regina thought of as#ing the ya$d*guy to answe$ it, then decided to get
it he$self*thei$ $egula$ 'an was out with the flu, and she didn't feel co'fo$ta%le a%out as#ing a
st$ange$ fo$ a favo$! 3autioning he$ daughte$ to sit still, Regina hopped out to answe$ the phone!
(hen 1a$en put up a hand to #eep f$o' %eing splashed as he$ 'othe$ left the tu%, she d$opped the
doll she had %een %athing! (hen she %ent to pic# it up, he$ hai$ %eca'e caught in one of the hot
tu%'s powe$ful inta#es! -"t was $eading of a fatal accident li#e this that had o$iginally #ic#ed the
sto$y off in 'y 'ind two o$ th$ee yea$s %efo$e!/
The ya$d*'an, so'e no*na'e in a #ha#i shi$t sent ove$ %y a day*la%o$ outfit, saw what was
happening! He $aced ac$oss the lawn, dove headfi$st into the tu%, and yan#ed the child f$o' the
%otto', leaving hai$ and a good chun# of scalp clogging the &et when he did! He'd give he$ a$tificial
$espi$ation until she %egan to %$eathe again! -This would %e a wonde$ful, suspenseful scene, and "
couldn't wait to w$ite it!/ He would $efuse all of the hyste$ical, $elieved 'othe$'s offe$s of
$eco'pense, although he'd finally give he$ an add$ess so that he$ hus%and could tal# to hi'! Only
%oth the add$ess and his na'e, 6ohn San%o$n, would tu$n out to %e a fa#e!
Two yea$s late$ the ex*hoo#e$ with the $especta%le second life sees the 'an who saved he$ child
on the f$ont page of the ia'i pape$! His na'e is given as 6ohn Shac#lefo$d and he has %een
a$$ested fo$ the $ape*'u$de$ of a nine*yea$*old gi$l! And, the a$ticle goes on, he is suspected in ove$
fo$ty othe$ 'u$de$s, 'any of the victi's child$en! 'Have you caught .ase%all 3apB' one of the
$epo$te$s would yell at the p$ess confe$ence! '"s 6ohn Shac#lefo$d .ase%all 3apB'
'(ell,' " said, going downstai$s, 'they su$e think he is!'
" could hea$ too 'any %oats out on the la#e this afte$noon to 'a#e nude %athing an option! "
pulled on 'y suit, slung a towel ove$ 'y shoulde$s, and sta$ted down the path + the one which
had %een lined with glowing pape$ lante$ns in 'y d$ea' + to wash off the sweat of 'y night'a$es
and 'y unexpected 'o$ning's la%o$s!
The$e a$e twenty*th$ee $ail$oad*tie steps %etween Sa$a and the la#e! " had gone down only fou$ o$
five %efo$e the eno$'ity of what had &ust happened hit 'e! y 'outh %egan to t$e'%le! The colo$s
of the t$ees and the s#y 'ixed togethe$ as 'y eyes tea$ed up! A sound %egan to co'e out of 'e +
a #ind of 'uffled g$oaning! The st$ength $an out of 'y legs and " sat down ha$d on a $ail$oad tie!
9o$ a 'o'ent " thought it was ove$, 'ostly &ust a false ala$', and then " %egan to c$y! " stuffed one
end of the towel in 'y 'outh du$ing the wo$st of it, af$aid that if the %oate$s on the la#e hea$d the
sounds co'ing out of 'e, they'd thin# so'eone up he$e was %eing 'u$de$ed!
" c$ied in g$ief fo$ the e'pty yea$s " had spent without 6o, without f$iends, and without 'y wo$#!
" c$ied in g$atitude %ecause those wo$#*less yea$s see'ed to %e ove$! "t was too ea$ly to tell fo$ su$e
+ one swallow doesn't 'a#e a su''e$ and eight pages of ha$d copy don't 'a#e a ca$ee$
$esuscitation + %ut " thought it $eally 'ight %e so!
And " c$ied out of fea$, as well, as we do when so'e awful expe$ience is finally ove$ o$ when
so'e te$$i%le accident has %een na$$owly ave$ted! " c$ied %ecause " suddenly $eali=ed that " had
%een wal#ing a white line eve$ since 6o died, wal#ing st$aight down the 'iddle of the $oad! .y
so'e 'i$acle, " had %een ca$$ied out of ha$''s way! " had no idea who had done the ca$$ying, %ut
that was all $ight + it was a )uestion that could wait fo$ anothe$ day!
" c$ied it all out of 'e! Then " went on down to the la#e and waded in! The cool wate$ felt 'o$e
than good on 'y ove$heated %ody7 it felt li#e a $esu$$ection!
3HA0TER 9"9TEEN
State you$ na'e fo$ the $eco$d!'
'ichael Noonan!'
',ou$ add$essB'
'2e$$y is 'y pe$'anent add$ess, :< .enton St$eet, %ut " also 'aintain a ho'e in TR*;A, on 2a$#
Sco$e 8a#e! The 'ailing add$ess is .ox ?GF! The actual house is on 8ane 9o$ty*two, off Route L?!'
El'e$ 2u$gin, 1y$a 2evo$e's gua$dian ad litem, waved a pudgy hand in f$ont of his face, eithe$
to shoo away so'e t$ou%leso'e insect o$ to tell 'e that was enough! " ag$eed that it was! " felt
$athe$ li#e the little gi$l in 2ur "own, who gave he$ add$ess as 5$ove$'s 3o$ne$, New Ha'pshi$e,
A'e$ica, the No$the$n He'isphe$e, the (o$ld, the Sola$ Syste', the il#y (ay 5alaxy, the ind
of 5od! ostly " was ne$vous! "'d $eached the age of fo$ty still a vi$gin in the a$ea of cou$t
p$oceedings, and although we we$e in the confe$ence $oo' of 2u$gin, 0ete$s, and 6a$$ette on
.$idge St$eet in 3astle Roc#, this was still a cou$t p$oceeding!
The$e was one 'entiona%ly odd detail to these festivities! The stenog$aphe$ wasn't using one of
those #ey%oa$ds*on*a*post that loo# li#e adding 'achines, %ut a Steno'as#, a gadget which fit ove$
the lowe$ half of his face! " had seen the' %efo$e, %ut only in old %lac#*and*white c$i'e 'ovies,
the ones whe$e 2an 2u$yea o$ 6ohn 0ayne is always d$iving a$ound in a .uic# with po$tholes on
the sides, loo#ing g$i' and s'o#ing a 3a'el! 5lancing ove$ into the co$ne$ and seeing a guy who
loo#ed li#e the wo$ld's oldest fighte$*pilot was wei$d enough, %ut hea$ing eve$ything you said
i''ediately $epeated in a 'uffled 'onotone was even wei$de$!
'Than# you, $! Noonan! y wife has $ead all you$ %oo#s and says you a$e he$ favo$ite autho$! "
&ust wanted to get that on the $eco$d!' 2u$gin chuc#led fatly! (hy notB He was a fat guy! ost fat
people " li#e + they have expansive natu$es to go with thei$ expansive waistlines! .ut the$e is a
su%g$oup which " thin# of as the Evil 8ittle 9at 9ol#s! ,ou don't want to fuc# with the E899S if
you can help it7 they will %u$n you$ house and $ape you$ dog if you give the' half an excuse and a
)ua$te$ of an oppo$tunity! 9ew of the' stand ove$ five*foot*two -2u$gin's height, " esti'ated/, and
'any a$e unde$ five feet! They s'ile a lot, %ut thei$ eyes don't s'ile! The Evil 8ittle 9at 9ol#s hate
the whole wo$ld! ostly they hate fol#s who can loo# down the length of thei$ %odies and still see
thei$ own feet! This included 'e, although &ust %a$ely!
'0lease than# you$ wife fo$ 'e, $! 2u$gin! "'' su$e she could $eco''end one fo$ you to sta$t
on!'
2u$gin chuc#led! On his $ight, 2u$gin's assistant + a p$etty young wo'an who loo#ed
app$oxi'ately seventeen 'inutes out of law school + chuc#led! On 'y left, Ro'eo .issonette
chuc#led! "n the co$ne$, the wo$ld's oldest 9* ::: pilot only went on 'utte$ing into his Steno'as#!
'"'ll wait fo$ the %ig*sc$een ve$sion,' he said! His eyes gave an ugly little glea', as if he #new a
featu$e fil' had neve$ %een 'ade f$o' one of 'y %oo#s + only a 'ade*fo$*T4 'ovie of Being
"wo that pulled $atings $oughly e)ual to the National Sofa Refinishing 3ha'pionships! " hoped that
we'd co'pleted this chu%%y little fuc#'s idea of the pleasant$ies!
'" a' 1y$a 2evo$e's gua$dian ad litem,' he said! '2o you #now what that 'eans, $! NoonanB'
'" %elieve " do!'
'"t 'eans,' 2u$gin $olled on, 'that "'ve %een appointed %y 6udge Rancou$t to decide + if " can +
whe$e 1y$a 2evo$e's %est inte$ests lie, should a custody &udg'ent %eco'e necessa$y! 6udge
Rancou$t would not, in such an event, %e $e)ui$ed to %ase his decision on 'y conclusions, %ut in
'any cases that is what happens!'
He loo#ed at 'e with his hands folded on a %lan# legal pad! The p$etty assistant, on the othe$
hand, was sc$i%%ling 'adly! 0e$haps she didn't t$ust the fighte$*pilot! 2u$gin loo#ed as if he
expected a $ound of applause!
'(as that a )uestion, $! 2u$ginB' " as#ed and Ro'eo .issonette delive$ed a light, p$acticed chip
to 'y an#le! " didn't need to loo# at hi' to #now it wasn't an accident!
2u$gin pu$sed lips so s'ooth and da'p that he loo#ed as if he we$e wea$ing a clea$ gloss on
the'! On his shining pate, $oughly two do=en st$ands of hai$ we$e co'%ed in s'ooth little a$cs! He
gave 'e a patient, 'easu$ing loo#! .ehind it was all the int$ansigent ugliness of an Evil 8ittle 9at
9ol#! The pleasant$ies we$e ove$, all $ight! " was su$e of it!
'No, $! Noonan, that was not a )uestion! " si'ply thought you 'ight li#e to #now why we've
had to as# you to co'e away f$o' you$ lovely la#e on such a pleasant 'o$ning! 0e$haps " was
w$ong! Now, if + '
The$e was a pe$e'pto$y #noc# on the doo$, followed %y you$ f$iend and his, 5eo$ge 9oot'an!
Today 3leveland 3asual had %een $eplaced %y a #ha#i 2eputy She$iff's unifo$', co'plete with
Sa' .$owne %elt and sidea$'! He helped hi'self to a good loo# at the assistant's %ustline,
displayed in a %lue sil# %louse, then handed he$ a folde$ and a cassette tape $eco$de$! He gave 'e
one %$ief gande$ %efo$e leaving! 1 remember you' buddy, that glance said! "he smartass writer' the
cheap date!
Ro'eo .issonette tipped his head towa$d 'e! He used the side of his hand to %$idge the gap
%etween his 'outh and 'y ea$! '2evo$e's tape,' he said!
" nodded to show " unde$stood, then tu$ned to 2u$gin again!
'$! Noonan, you've 'et 1y$a 2evo$e and he$ 'othe$, a$y 2evo$e, haven't youB'
How did you get attie out of a$y, " wonde$ed ! ! ! and then #new, &ust as " had #nown a%out
the white sho$ts and halte$ top! #attie was how 1i had fi$st t$ied to say #ary!
'$! Noonan, a$e we #eeping you upB'
'The$e's no need to %e sa$castic, is the$eB' .issonette as#ed! His tone was 'ild, %ut El'e$ 2u$gin
gave hi' a loo# which suggested that, should the E899S succeed in thei$ goal of wo$ld
do'ination, .issonette would %e a%oa$d the fi$st gulag*%ound %oxca$!
'"'' so$$y,' " said %efo$e 2u$gin could $eply! '" &ust got de$ailed the$e fo$ a second o$ two!'
'New sto$y ideaB' 2u$gin as#ed, s'iling his glossy s'ile! He loo#ed li#e a swa'p*toad in a
spo$tcoat! He tu$ned to the old &et pilot, told hi' to st$i#e that last, then $epeated his )uestion a%out
1y$a and attie!
,es, " said, " had 'et the'!
'Once o$ 'o$e than onceB'
'o$e than once!'
'How 'any ti'es have you 'et the'B'
'Twice!'
'Have you also spo#en to a$y 2evo$e on the phoneB'
Al$eady these )uestions we$e 'oving in a di$ection that 'ade 'e unco'fo$ta%le!
',es!'
'How 'any ti'esB'
'Th$ee ti'es!' The thi$d had co'e the day %efo$e, when she had as#ed if " would &oin he$ and
6ohn Sto$$ow fo$ a picnic lunch on the town co''on afte$ 'y deposition! 8unch $ight the$e in the
'iddle of town %efo$e 5od and eve$y%ody ! ! ! although, with a New ,o$# lawye$ to play
chape$one, what ha$' in thatB
'Have you spo#en to 1y$a 2evo$e on the telephoneB'
(hat an odd )uestionC Not one any%ody had p$epa$ed 'e fo$, eithe$! " supposed that was at least
pa$tly why he had as#ed it!
'$! NoonanB'
',es, "'ve spo#en to he$ once!'
'3an you tell us the natu$e of that conve$sationB'
'(ell ! ! ! ' " loo#ed dou%tfully at .issonette, %ut the$e was no help the$e! He o%viously didn't
#now, eithe$! 'attie + '
'0a$don 'eB' 2u$gin leaned fo$wa$d as 'uch as he could! His eyes we$e intent in thei$ pin#
poc#ets of flesh! 'attieB'
'attie 2evo$e! #ary 2evo$e!'
',ou call he$ attieB'
',es,' " said, and had a wild i'pulse to addD 1n bed5 1n bed 1 call her that5 '2h #attie' don't stop'
don't stop'' 1 cry5' '"t's the na'e she gave 'e when she int$oduced he$self! " 'et he$ + '
'(e 'ay get to that, %ut $ight now "'' inte$ested in you$ telephone conve$sation with 1y$a
2evo$e! (hen was thatB'
'"t was yeste$day!'
'6uly ninth, :;;?!'
',es!'
'(ho placed that callB'
'a ! ! ! a$y 2evo$e!' Now he'll ask why she called, " thought, and 1'll say she wanted to ha&e
yet another se$ marathon' foreplay to consist of feeding each other chocolate*dipped strawberries
while we look at pictures of naked malformed dwar&es! 'How did 1y$a 2evo$e happen to spea# to
youB'
'She as#ed if she could! " hea$d he$ saying to he$ 'othe$ that she had to tell 'e so'ething!'
'(hat was it she had to tell youB'
'That she had he$ fi$st %u%%le %ath!'
'2id she also say she coughedB'
" was )uiet, loo#ing at hi'! "n that 'o'ent " unde$stood why people hate lawye$s, especially
when they've %een dusted ove$ %y one who's good at the &o%!
'$! Noonan, would you li#e 'e to $epeat the )uestionB'
'No,' " said, wonde$ing whe$e he'd gotten his info$'ation! Had these %asta$ds tapped attie's
phoneB y phoneB .othB 0e$haps fo$ the fi$st ti'e " unde$stood on a gut level what it 'ust %e li#e
to have half a %illion dolla$s! (ith that 'uch dough you could tap a lot of telephones! 'She said he$
'othe$ pushed %u%%les in he$ face and she coughed! .ut she was + '
'Than# you, $! Noonan, now let's tu$n to + '
'8et hi' finish,' .issonette said! " had an idea he had al$eady ta#en a %igge$ pa$t in the
p$oceedings than he had expected to, %ut he didn't see' to 'ind! He was a sleepy*loo#ing 'an with
a %loodhound's 'ou$nful, t$ustwo$thy face! 'This isn't a cou$t$oo', and you'$e not c$oss*exa'ining
hi'!'
'" have the little gi$l's welfa$e to thin# of,' 2u$gin said! He sounded %oth po'pous and hu'%le at
the sa'e ti'e, a co'%ination that went togethe$ li#e chocolate sauce on c$ea'ed co$n! '"t's a
$esponsi%ility " ta#e ve$y se$iously! "f " see'ed to %e %adge$ing you, $! Noonan, " apologi=e!'
" didn't %othe$ accepting his apology + that would have 'ade us %oth phonies! 'All " was going
to say is that 1i was laughing when she said it! She said she and he$ 'othe$ had a %u%%le*fight!
(hen he$ 'othe$ ca'e %ac# on, she was laughing, too!'
2u$gin had opened the folde$ 9oot'an had %$ought hi' and was paging $apidly th$ough it while
" spo#e, as if he we$en't hea$ing a wo$d! 'He$ 'othe$ ! ! ! attie, as you call he$!'
',es! attie as " call he$! How do you #now a%out ou$ p$ivate telephone conve$sation in the fi$st
placeB'
'That's none of you$ %usiness, $! Noonan!' He selected a single sheet of pape$, then closed the
folde$! He held the pape$ up %$iefly, li#e a docto$ studying an >*$ay, and " could see it was cove$ed
with single*spaced typing! '8et's tu$n to you$ initial 'eeting with a$y and 1y$a 2evo$e! That was
on the 9ou$th of 6uly, wasn't itB'
',es!' 2u$gin was nodding! 'The 'o$ning of the 9ou$th! And you 'et 1y$a 2evo$e fi$st!'
',es!'
',ou 'et he$ fi$st %ecause he$ 'othe$ wasn't with he$ at that ti'e, was sheB'
'That's a %adly ph$ased )uestion, $! 2u$gin, %ut " guess the answe$ is yes!'
'"'' flatte$ed to have 'y g$a''a$ co$$ected %y a 'an who's %een on the %estselle$ lists,' 2u$gin
said, s'iling! The s'ile suggested that he'd li#e to see 'e sitting next to Ro'eo .issonette in that
fi$st gulag*%ound %oxca$! 'Tell us a%out you$ 'eeting, fi$st with 1y$a 2evo$e and then with a$y
2evo$e! O$ attie, if you li#e that %ette$!'
" told the sto$y! (hen " was finished, 2u$gin cente$ed the tape playe$ in f$ont of hi'! The nails
of his pudgy finge$s loo#ed as glossy as his lips!
'$! Noonan, you could have $un 1y$a ove$, isn't that t$ueB'
'A%solutely not! " was going thi$ty*five + that's the speed li'it the$e %y the sto$e! " saw he$ in
plenty of ti'e to stop!'
'Suppose you had %een co'ing the othe$ way, though + heading no$th instead of south! (ould
you still have seen he$ in plenty of ti'eB'
That was a fai$e$ )uestion than so'e of his othe$s, actually! So'eone co'ing the othe$ way
would have had a fa$ sho$te$ ti'e to $eact! Still ! ! !
',es,' " said!
2u$gin went up with the eye%$ows! ',ou'$e su$e of thatB'
',es, $! 2u$gin! " 'ight have had to co'e down a little ha$de$ on the %$a#es, %ut + '
'At thi$ty*five!'
',es, at thi$ty*five! " told you, that's the speed li'it + '
' + *on that pa$ticula$ st$etch of Route L?! ,es, you told 'e that! ,ou did! "s it you$ expe$ience
that 'ost people o%ey the speed li'it on that pa$t of the $oadB'
'" haven't spent 'uch ti'e on the TR since :;;G, so " can't + '
'3o'e on, $! Noonan + this isn't a scene f$o' one of you$ %oo#s! 6ust answe$ 'y )uestions, o$
we'll %e he$e all 'o$ning!'
'"'' doing 'y %est, $! 2u$gin!'
He sighed, put*upon! ',ou've owned you$ place on 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e since the eighties, haven't
youB And the speed li'it a$ound the 8a#eview 5ene$al Sto$e, the post office, and 2ic# .$oo#s's
All*0u$pose 5a$age + what's called The No$th 4illage + hasn't changed since then, has itB'
'No,' " ad'itted!
'Retu$ning to 'y o$iginal )uestion, then + in you$ o%se$vation, do 'ost people on that st$etch of
$oad o%ey the thi$ty*five*'ile*an*hou$ li'itB'
'" can't say if it's 'ost, %ecause "'ve neve$ done a t$affic su$vey, %ut " guess a lot don't!'
'(ould you li#e to hea$ 3astle 3ounty She$iffs 2eputy 9oot'an testify on whe$e the g$eatest
nu'%e$ of speeding tic#ets a$e given out in TR*;A, $! NoonanB'
'No,' " said, )uite honestly!
'2id othe$ vehicles pass you while you we$e spea#ing fi$st with 1y$a 2evo$e and then with a$y
2evo$eB'
',es!'
'How 'anyB'
'" don't #now exactly! A couple!'
'3ould it have %een th$eeB'
'" guess!'
'9iveB'
'No, p$o%a%ly not so 'any!'
'.ut you don't #now, exactly, do youB'
'.ecause 1y$a 2evo$e was upset!'
'Actually she had it togethe$ p$etty well fo$ a + '
'2id she c$y in you$ p$esenceB'
'(ell ! ! ! yes!'
'2id he$ 'othe$ 'a#e he$ c$yB'
'That's unfai$!'
'As unfai$ as allowing a th$ee*yea$*old to go st$olling down the 'iddle of a %usy highway on a
holiday 'o$ning, in you$ opinion, o$ pe$haps not )uite as unfai$ as thatB'
'6eepe$s, lay off,' $! .issonette said 'ildly! The$e was dist$ess on his %loodhound's face!
'" withd$aw the )uestion,' 2u$gin said!
'(hich oneB' " as#ed!
He loo#ed at 'e ti$edly, as if to say he had to put up with assholes li#e 'e all the ti'e and he
was used to how we %ehaved! 'How 'any ca$s went %y f$o' the ti'e you pic#ed the child up and
ca$$ied he$ to safety to the ti'e when you and the 2evo$es pa$ted co'panyB'
" hated that 'ca$$ied he$ to safety' %it, %ut even as " fo$'ulated 'y answe$, the old guy was
'utte$ing the )uestion into his Steno'as#! And it was in fact what " had done! The$e was no
getting a$ound it!
'" told you, " don't #now fo$ su$e!'
'(ell, give 'e a guessti'ate!'
-uesstimate! One of 'y all*ti'e least favo$ite wo$ds! A 0aul Ha$vey wo$d! 'The$e 'ight have
%een th$ee!'
'"ncluding a$y 2evo$e he$selfB! 2$iving a + ' He consulted the pape$ he'd ta#en f$o' the
folde$! ' + a :;?F 6eep ScoutB'
" thought of 1i saying attie go fast and unde$stood whe$e 2u$gin was heading now! And the$e
was nothing " could do a%out it!
',es, it was he$ and it was a Scout! " don't #now what yea$!'
'(as she d$iving %elow the posted speed li'it, at the posted speed li'it, o$ a%ove the posted
speed li'it when she passed the place whe$e you we$e standing with 1y$a in you$ a$'sB'
She'd %een doing at least fifty, %ut " told 2u$gin " couldn't say fo$ su$e! He u$ged 'e to t$y + 1
know you are unfamiliar with the hangman's knot' #r( Noonan' but 1'm sure you can make one if
you really work at it + and " declined as politely as " could!
He pic#ed up the pape$ again! '$! Noonan, would it su$p$ise you to #now that two witnesses +
Richa$d .$oo#s, 6unio$, the owne$ of 2ic#'s All*0u$pose 5a$age, and Royce e$$ill, a $eti$ed
ca$pente$ + clai' that $s! 2evo$e was doing well ove$ thi$ty*five when she passed you$
locationB'
'" don't #now,' " said! '" was conce$ned with the little gi$l!'
'(ould it su$p$ise you to #now that Royce e$$ill esti'ated he$ speed at si$ty 'iles an hou$B'
'That's $idiculous! (hen she hit the %$a#es she would have s#idded sideways and landed upside
down in the ditch!'
'The s#id*'a$#s 'easu$ed %y 2eputy 9oot'an indicate a speed of at least fifty 'iles an hou$,'
2u$gin said! "t wasn't a )uestion, %ut he loo#ed at 'e al'ost $oguishly, as if inviting 'e to st$uggle
a little 'o$e and sin# a little deepe$ into this nasty pit! " said nothing! 2u$gin folded his pudgy little
hands and leaned ove$ the' towa$d 'e! The $oguish loo# was gone!
'$! Noonan, if you hadn't ca$$ied 1y$a 2evo$e to the side of the $oad + if you hadn't $escued
he$ + 'ightn't her own mother have $un he$ ove$B'
He$e was the $eally loaded )uestion, and how should " answe$ itB .issonette was ce$tainly not
flashing any helpful signals7 he see'ed to %e t$ying to 'a#e 'eaningful eye*contact with the p$etty
assistant! " thought of the %oo# attie was $eading in tande' with '.a$tle%y' + Silent Witness, %y
Richa$d No$th 0atte$son! Unli#e the 5$isha' %$and, 0atte$son's lawye$s al'ost always see'ed to
#now what they we$e doing! 2b)ection' ,our honor' calls for speculation on the part of the witness(
" sh$ugged! 'So$$y, counsello$, can't say + left 'y c$ystal %all ho'e!'
Again " saw the ugly flash in 2u$gin's eyes! '$! Noonan, " can assu$e you that if you don't
answe$ that )uestion he$e, you a$e apt to %e called %ac# f$o' ali%u o$ 9i$e "sland o$ whe$eve$ it is
you'$e going to w$ite you$ next opus to answe$ it late$ on!'
" sh$ugged! '"'ve al$eady told you " was conce$ned with the child! " can't tell you how fast the
'othe$ was going, o$ how good Royce e$$ill's vision is, o$ if 2eputy 9oot'an even 'easu$ed the
$ight set of s#id*'a$#s! The$e's a whole %unch of $u%%e$ on that pa$t of the $oad, " can tell you!
Suppose she was going fiftyB Even fifty*five, let's say that! She's twenty*one yea$s old, 2u$gin! At
the age of twenty*one, a pe$son's d$iving s#ills a$e at thei$ pea#! She p$o%a%ly would have swe$ved
a$ound the child, and easily!'
'" thin# that's )uite enough!'
'(hyB .ecause you'$e not getting what you wantedB' .issonette's shoe clipped 'y an#le again,
%ut " igno$ed it! '"f you'$e on 1y$a's side, why do you sound as though you'$e on he$ g$andfathe$'sB'
A %aleful little s'ile touched 2u$gin's lips! The #ind that says 2kay' smart guy' you want to
play? He pulled the tape*$eco$de$ a little close$ to hi'! 'Since you have 'entioned 1y$a's
g$andfathe$, $! axwell 2evo$e of 0al' Sp$ings, let's tal# a%out hi' a little, shall weB'
'"t's you$ show!'
'Have you eve$ spo#en with axwell 2evo$eB'
',es!'
'"n pe$son o$ on the phoneB'
'0hone!' " thought a%out adding that he had so'ehow gotten hold of 'y unlisted nu'%e$, then
$e'e'%e$ed that attie had, too, and decided to #eep 'y 'outh shut on that su%&ect!
'(hen was thisB'
'8ast Satu$day night! The night of the 9ou$th! He called while " was watching the fi$ewo$#s!'
'And was the su%&ect of you$ conve$sation that 'o$ning's little adventu$eB' As he as#ed, 2u$gin
$eached into his poc#et and %$ought out a cassette tape! The$e was an ostentatious )uality to this
gestu$e7 in that 'o'ent he loo#ed li#e a pa$lo$ 'agician showing you %oth sides of a sil#
hand#e$chief! And he was %luffing! " couldn't %e su$e of that ! ! ! and yet " was! 2evo$e had taped
ou$ conve$sation, all $ight + that unde$hu' $eally had %een too loud, and on so'e level "'d %een
awa$e of that fact even while " was tal#ing to hi' + and " thought it $eally was on the cassette
2u$gin was now slotting into the cassette playe$ ! ! ! %ut it was a %luff!
'" don't $ecall,' " said!
2u$gin's hand f$o=e in the act of snapping the cassette's t$anspa$ent loading panel shut! He
loo#ed at 'e with f$an# dis%elief ! ! ! and so'ething else! " thought the so'ething else was
su$p$ised ange$!
',ou don't $ecallB 3o'e now, $! Noonan! Su$ely w$ite$s t$ain the'selves to $ecall
conve$sations, and this one was only a wee# ago! Tell 'e what you tal#ed a%out!'
'" $eally can't say,' " told hi' in a stolid, colo$less voice! 9o$ a 'o'ent 2u$gin loo#ed al'ost
panic#y! Then his featu$es s'oothed! One polished finge$nail slipped %ac# and fo$th ove$ #eys
'a$#ed RE(, 99, 08A,, and RE3! 'How did $! 2evo$e %egin the conve$sationB' he as#ed!
'He said hello,' " said 'ildly, and the$e was a sho$t 'uffled sound f$o' %ehind the Steno'as#! "t
could have %een the old guy clea$ing his th$oat7 it could have %een a supp$essed laugh!
Spots of colo$ we$e %loo'ing in 2u$gin's chee#s! 'Afte$ helloB (hat thenB'
'" don't $ecall!'
'2id he as# you a%out that 'o$ningB'
'" don't $ecall!'
'2idn't you tell hi' that a$y 2evo$e and he$ daughte$ we$e togethe$, $! NoonanB That they
we$e togethe$ pic#ing flowe$sB "sn't that what you told this wo$$ied g$andfathe$ when he in)ui$ed
a%out the incident which was the tal# of the township that 9ou$th of 6ulyB'
'Oh %oy,' .issonette said! He $aised one hand ove$ the ta%le, then touched the pal' with the
finge$s of the othe$, 'a#ing a $ef's "! 'Ti'e out!'
2u$gin loo#ed at hi'! The flush in his chee#s was 'o$e p$onounced now, and his lips had pulled
%ac# enough to show the tips of s'all, neatly capped teeth! '(hat do you wantB' he al'ost sna$led,
as if .issonette had &ust d$opped %y to tell hi' a%out the o$'on (ay o$ pe$haps the
Rosic$ucians!
'" want you to stop leading this guy, and " want that whole thing a%out pic#ing flowe$s st$ic#en
f$o' the $eco$d,' .issonette said!
'(hyB'
2u$gin snapped! '.ecause you'$e t$ying to get stuff on the $eco$d that this witness won't say! "f
you want to %$ea# he$e fo$ awhile so we can 'a#e a confe$ence call to 6udge Rancou$t, get his
opinion + '
'" withd$aw the )uestion,' 2u$gin said! He loo#ed at 'e with a #ind of helpless, su$ly $age! '$!
Noonan, do you want to help 'e do 'y &o%B'
'" want to help 1y$a 2evo$e if " can,' " said!
'4e$y well!' He nodded as if no distinction had %een 'ade! 'Then please tell 'e what you and
axwell 2evo$e tal#ed a%out!'
'" can't $ecall!' " caught his eyes and held the'! '0e$haps,' " said, 'you can $ef$esh 'y $ecollection!'
The$e was a 'o'ent of silence, li#e that which so'eti'es st$i#es a high*sta#es po#e$ ga'e &ust
afte$ the last of the %ets have %een 'ade and &ust %efo$e the playe$s show thei$ hands! Even the old
fighte$*pilot was )uiet, his eyes un%lin#ing a%ove the 'as#! Then 2u$gin pushed the cassette playe$
aside with the heel of his hand -the set of his 'outh said he felt a%out it &ust then as " often felt
a%out the telephone/ and went %ac# to the 'o$ning of 6uly 9ou$th! He neve$ as#ed a%out 'y dinne$
with attie and 1i on Tuesday night, and neve$ $etu$ned to 'y telephone conve$sation with
2evo$e + the one whe$e " had said all those aw#wa$d and easily disp$ova%le things!
" went on answe$ing )uestions until eleven*thi$ty, %ut the inte$view $eally ended when 2u$gin
pushed the tape*playe$ away with the heel of his hand! " #new it, and "'' p$etty su$e he did, too!
'i#eC i#e, ove$ he$eC'
attie was waving f$o' one of the ta%les in the picnic a$ea %ehind the town co''on's
%andstand! She loo#ed vi%$ant and happy! " waved %ac# and 'ade 'y way in that di$ection,
weaving %etween little #ids playing tag, s#i$ting a couple of teenage$s 'a#ing out on the g$ass, and
duc#ing a 9$is%ee which a leaping 5e$'an shephe$d caught s'a$tly!
The$e was a tall, s#inny $edhead with he$, %ut " %a$ely got a chance to notice hi'! attie 'et 'e
while " was still on the g$avel path, put he$ a$'s a$ound 'e, hugged 'e + it was no p$udey little
ass*po#ing*out hug, eithe$ + and then #issed 'e on the 'outh ha$d enough to push 'y lips against
'y teeth! The$e was a hea$ty s'ac# when she disengaged! She pulled %ac# and loo#ed at 'e with
undisguised delight! '(as it the %iggest #iss you've eve$ hadB'
'The %iggest in at least fou$ yea$s,' " said! '(ill you settle fo$ thatB' And if she didn't step away
f$o' 'e in the next few seconds, she was going to have physical p$oof of how 'uch " had en&oyed
it!
'" guess "'ll have to!' She tu$ned to the $edheaded guy with a funny #ind of defiance! '(as that all
$ightB'
'0$o%a%ly not,' he said, '%ut at least you'$e not cu$$ently in view of those old %oys at the All*
0u$pose 5a$age! i#e, "'' 6ohn Sto$$ow! Nice to 'eet you in pe$son!'
" li#ed hi' at once, 'ay%e %ecause "'d co'e upon hi' d$essed in his th$ee*piece New ,o$# suit
and p$i'ly setting out pape$ plates on a picnic ta%le while his cu$ly $ed hai$ %lew a$ound his head
li#e #elp! His s#in was fai$ and f$ec#led, the #ind which would neve$ tan, only %u$n and then peel
in g$eat ec=e'a*li#e patches! (hen we shoo#, his hand see'ed to %e all #nuc#les! He had to %e at
least thi$ty, %ut he loo#ed attie's age, and " guessed it would %e anothe$ five yea$s %efo$e he was
a%le to get a d$in# without showing his d$ive$'s license!
'Sit down,' he said! '(e've got a five*cou$se lunch, cou$tesy of 3astle Roc# 4a$iety + g$inde$s,
which a$e fo$ so'e st$ange $eason called '"talian sandwiches' up he$e ! ! ! 'o==a$ella stic#s ! ! !
ga$lic f$ies ! ! ! Twin#ies!'
'That's only fou$,' " said!
'" fo$got the soft*d$in# cou$se,' he said, and pulled th$ee long*nec# %ottles of S'O1 %i$ch %ee$ out
of a %$own %ag! '8et's eat! attie $uns the li%$a$y f$o' two to eight on 9$idays and Satu$days, and
this would %e a %ad ti'e fo$ he$ to %e 'issing wo$#!'
'How did the $eade$s' ci$cle go last nightB' " as#ed! '8indy .$iggs didn't eat you alive, " see!'
She laughed, clasped he$ hands, and shoo# the' ove$ he$ head! '" was a hitC An a%solute
s'asholaC " didn't da$e tell the' " got all 'y %est insights f$o' you + '
'Than# 5od fo$ s'all favo$s,' Sto$$ow said! He was f$eeing his own sandwich f$o' its st$ing and
%utche$*pape$ w$apping, doing it ca$efully and a little du%iously, using &ust the tips of his finge$s!
' + so " said " loo#ed in a couple of %oo#s and found so'e leads the$e! "t was so$t of wonde$ful!
" felt li#e a college #id!'
'5ood!'
'.issonetteB' 6ohn Sto$$ow as#ed! '(he$e's heB " neve$ 'et a guy na'ed Ro'eo %efo$e!'
'Said he had to go $ight %ac# to 8ewiston! So$$y!'
'Actually it's %est we stay s'all, at least to %egin with!' He %it into his sandwich + they co'e
tuc#ed into long su% $olls + and loo#ed at 'e, su$p$ised! 'This isn't %ad!'
'Eat 'o$e than th$ee and you'$e hoo#ed fo$ life,' attie said, and cho'ped hea$tily into he$ own!
'Tell us a%out the depo,' 6ohn said, and while they ate, " tal#ed! (hen " finished, " pic#ed up 'y
own sandwich and played a little catch*up! "'d fo$gotten how good an "talian can %e + sweet, sou$,
and oily all at the sa'e ti'e! Of cou$se nothing that tastes that good can %e healthy7 that's a given! "
suppose one could fo$'ulate a si'ila$ postulate a%out full*%ody hugs f$o' young gi$ls in legal
t$ou%le!
'4e$y inte$esting,' 6ohn said! '4e$y inte$esting indeed!' He too# a 'o==a$ella stic# f$o' its
g$ease*stained %ag, %$o#e it open, and loo#ed with a #ind of fascinated ho$$o$ at the clotted white
gun# inside! '0eople up he$e eat thisB' he as#ed!
'0eople in New ,o$# eat fish*%ladde$s,' " said! 'Raw!'
'TouchQ' He dipped a piece into the plastic containe$ of spaghetti sauce -in this context it is called
'cheese*dip' in weste$n aine/, then ate it!
'(ellB' " as#ed!
'Not %ad! They ought to %e a lot hotte$, though!'
,es, he was $ight a%out that! Eating cold 'o==a$ella stic#s is a little li#e eating cold snot, an
o%se$vation " thought " would #eep to 'yself on this %eautiful 'idsu''e$ 9$iday!
'"f 2u$gin had the tape, why wouldn't he play itB' attie as#ed! '" don't unde$stand!'
6ohn st$etched his a$'s out, c$ac#ed his #nuc#les, and loo#ed at he$ %enignly! '(e'll p$o%a%ly
neve$ #now fo$ su$e,' he said!
He thought 2evo$e was going to d$op the suit + it was in eve$y line of his %ody*language and
eve$y inflection of his voice! That was hopeful, %ut it would %e good if attie didn't allow he$self
to %eco'e too hopeful! 6ohn Sto$$ow wasn't as young as he loo#ed, and p$o%a%ly not as guileless,
eithe$ -o$ so " fe$vently hoped/, %ut he was young! And neithe$ he no$ attie #new the sto$y of
Scoote$ 8a$$i%ee's sled! O$ had seen .ill 2ean's face when he told it!
'(ant to hea$ so'e possi%ilitiesB'
'Su$e,' " said!
6ohn put down his sandwich, wiped his finge$s, and then %egan to tic# off points! '9i$st, he 'ade
the call! Taped conve$sations have a highly du%ious value unde$ those ci$cu'stances! Second, he
didn't exactly co'e off li#e 3aptain 1anga$oo, did heB'
'No!'
'Thi$d, you$ fa%$ication i'pugns you, i#e, %ut not $eally ve$y 'uch, and it doesn't i'pugn
attie at all! And %y the way, that thing a%out attie pushing %u%%les in 1y$a's face, " love that! "f
that's the %est they can do, they %ette$ give it up $ight now! 8ast + and this is whe$e the t$uth
p$o%a%ly lies + " thin# 2evo$e's got Nixon's 2isease!'
'Nixon's 2iseaseB' attie as#ed!
'The tape 2u$gin had isn't the only tape! 3an't %e! And you$ fathe$*in*law is af$aid that if he
int$oduces one tape 'ade %y whateve$ syste' he's got in (a$$ington's, we 'ight su%poena all of
the'! And "'d da'n well t$y!'
She loo#ed %ewilde$ed! '(hat could %e on the'B And if it's %ad, why not &ust dest$oy the'B'
'ay%e he can't,' " said! 'ay%e he needs the' fo$ othe$ $easons!'
'"t doesn't $eally 'atte$,' 6ohn said! '2u$gin was %luffing, and that's what 'atte$s!' He hit the heel
of his hand lightly against the picnic ta%le! '" thin# he's going to d$op it! " $eally do!'
'"t's too ea$ly to sta$t thin#ing li#e that,' " said at once, %ut " could tell %y attie's face + shining
'o$e %$ightly than eve$ + that the da'age was done!
'9ill hi' in on what else you've %een doing,' attie told 6ohn! 'Then "'ve got to get to the li%$a$y!'
'(he$e do you send 1y$a on you$ wo$#daysB' " as#ed!
'$s! 3ullu''s! She lives two 'iles up the (asp Hill Road! Also in 6uly the$e's 4.S f$o' ten
until th$ee! That's 4acation .i%le School! 1i loves it, especially the singing and the flannel*%oa$d
sto$ies a%out Noah and oses! The %us d$ops he$ off at A$lene's, and " pic# he$ up a$ound )ua$te$
of nine!' She s'iled a little wistfully! '.y then she's usually fast asleep on the couch!'
6ohn held fo$th fo$ the next ten 'inutes o$ so! He hadn't %een on the case long, %ut had al$eady
sta$ted a lot of %alls $olling! A fellow in 3alifo$nia was gathe$ing facts a%out Roge$ 2evo$e and
o$$is Ridding -'gathe$ing facts' sounded so 'uch %ette$ than 'snooping'/! 6ohn was pa$ticula$ly
inte$ested in lea$ning a%out the )uality of Roge$ 2evo$e's $elations with his fathe$, and if Roge$ was
on $eco$d conce$ning his little niece f$o' aine! 6ohn had also 'apped out a ca'paign to lea$n as
'uch as possi%le a%out ax 2evo$e's 'ove'ents and activities since he'd co'e %ac# to TR*;A! To
that end he had the na'e of a p$ivate investigato$, one $eco''ended %y Ro'eo .issonette, 'y
$ent*a*lawye$!
As he spo#e, paging $apidly th$ough a little note%oo# he d$ew f$o' the inside poc#et of his
suitcoat, " $e'e'%e$ed what he'd said a%out 8ady 6ustice du$ing ou$ telephone conve$sationD Slap
some handcuffs on that broad's wrists and some tape o&er her mouth to go along with the blindfold'
rape her and roll her in the mud! That was 'ay%e a %it too st$ong fo$ what we we$e doing, %ut "
thought at the ve$y least we we$e shoving he$ a$ound a little! " i'agined poo$ Roge$ 2evo$e up on
the stand, having flown th$ee thousand 'iles in o$de$ to %e )uestioned a%out his sexual p$efe$ences!
" had to #eep $e'inding 'yself that his fathe$ had put hi' in that position, not attie o$ 'e o$ 6ohn
Sto$$ow!
'Have you gotten any close$ to a 'eeting with 2evo$e and his chief legal adviso$B' " as#ed!
'2on't #now fo$ su$e! The line is in the wate$, the offe$ is on the ta%le, the puc#'s on the ice, pic#
you$ favo$ite 'etapho$, 'ix e' and 'atch e' if you desi$e!'
'5ot you$ i$ons in the fi$e,' attie said!
',ou$ chec#e$s on the %oa$d,' " added!
(e loo#ed at each othe$ and laughed! 6ohn $ega$ded us sadly, then sighed, pic#ed up his
sandwich, and %egan to eat again!
',ou $eally have to 'eet hi' with his lawye$ 'o$e o$ less dancing attendanceB' " as#ed!
'(ould you li#e to win this thing, then discove$ 2evo$e can do it all again %ased on unethical
%ehavio$ %y a$y 2evo$e's legal $esou$ceB' 6ohn $etu$ned!
'2on't even &o#e a%out itC' attie c$ied!
'" wasn't &o#ing,' 6ohn said! '"t has to %e with his lawye$, yes! " don't thin# it's going to happen,
not on this t$ip! " haven't even got a loo# at the old cockuh, and " have to tell you 'y cu$iosity is
#illing 'e!'
'"f that's all it ta#es to 'a#e you happy, show up %ehind the %ac#stop at the soft%all field next
Tuesday evening,' attie said! 'He'll %e the$e in his fancy wheelchai$, laughing and clapping and
suc#ing his da'ned old oxygen eve$y fifteen 'inutes o$ so!'
'Not a %ad idea,' 6ohn said! '" have to go %ac# to New ,o$# fo$ the wee#end + "'' leaving aprCs
Osgood + %ut 'ay%e "'ll show up on Tuesday! " 'ight even %$ing 'y glove!' He %egan clea$ing up
ou$ litte$, and once again " thought he loo#ed %oth p$issy and endea$ing at the sa'e ti'e, li#e Stan
8au$el wea$ing an ap$on! attie eased hi' aside and too# ove$!
'No one ate any Twin#les,' she said, a little sadly!
'Ta#e the' ho'e to you$ daughte$,' 6ohn said!
'No way! " don't let he$ eat stuff li#e this! (hat #ind of 'othe$ do you thin# " a'B' She saw ou$
exp$essions, $eplayed what she'd &ust said, then %u$st out laughing! (e &oined he$!
attie's old Scout was pa$#ed in one of the slant spaces %ehind the wa$ 'e'o$ial, which in 3astle
Roc# is a (o$ld (a$ " soldie$ with a gene$ous helping of %i$dshit on his pie*dish hel'et! A %$and*
new Tau$us with a He$t= decal a%ove the inspection stic#e$ was pa$#ed next to it! 6ohn tossed his
%$iefcase + $eassu$ingly thin and not ve$y ostentatious + into the %ac# seat!
'"f " can 'a#e it %ac# on Tuesday, "'ll call you,' he told attie! '"f "'' a%le to get an appoint'ent
with you$ fathe$*in*law th$ough this 'an Osgood, " will also call you!'
'"'ll %uy the "talian sandwiches,' attie said!
He s'iled, then g$asped he$ a$' in one hand and 'ine in the othe$! He loo#ed li#e a newly
o$dained 'iniste$ getting $eady to 'a$$y his fi$st couple!
',ou two tal# on the telephone if you need to,' he said, 'always $e'e'%e$ing that one o$ %oth
lines 'ay %e tapped! eet in the 'a$#et if you happen to! i#e, you 'ight feel a need to d$op %y
the local li%$a$y and chec# out a %oo#!'
'Not until you $enew you$ ca$d, though,' attie said, giving 'e a de'u$e glance!
'.ut no 'o$e visits to attie's t$aile$! "s that unde$stoodB'
" said yes7 she said yes7 6ohn Sto$$ow loo#ed unconvinced! "t 'ade 'e wonde$ if he was seeing
so'ething in ou$ faces o$ %odies that shouldn't %e the$e!
'They a$e co''itted to a line of attac# which p$o%a%ly isn't going to wo$#,' he said! '(e can't
$is# giving the' the chance to change cou$se! That 'eans innuendos a%out the two of you7 it also
'eans innuendos a%out i#e and 1y$a!'
attie's shoc#ed exp$ession 'ade he$ loo# twelve again! 'i#e and 1y$aC (hat a$e you tal#ing
a%outB'
'Allegations of child 'olestation th$own up %y people so despe$ate they'll t$y anything!'
'That's $idiculous,' she said! 'And if 'y fathe$*in*law wanted to sling that #ind of 'ud + '
6ohn nodded! ',es, we'd %e o%ligated to sling it $ight %ac#! Newspape$ cove$age f$o' coast to
coast would follow, 'ay%e even 3ou$t T4, 5od %less and save us! (e want none of that if we can
avoid it! "t's not good fo$ the g$ownups, and it's not good fo$ the child! Now o$ late$!'
He %ent and #issed attie's chee#!
'"'' so$$y a%out all this,' he said, and he did sound genuinely so$$y! '3ustody's &ust this way!'
'" thin# you wa$ned 'e! "t's &ust that ! ! ! the idea so'eone 'ight 'a#e a thing li#e that up &ust
%ecause the$e was no othe$ way fo$ the' to win ! ! ! '
'8et 'e wa$n you again,' he said! His face ca'e as close to g$i' as its young and good*natu$ed
featu$es would p$o%a%ly allow! '(hat we have is a ve$y $ich 'an with a ve$y sha#y case! The
co'%ination could %e li#e wo$#ing with old dyna'ite!'
" tu$ned to attie! 'A$e you still wo$$ied a%out 1iB Still feel she's in dange$B'
" saw he$ thin# a%out hedging he$ $esponse + out of plain old ,an#ee $ese$ve, )uite li#ely +
and then deciding not to! 2eciding, pe$haps, that hedging was a luxu$y she couldn't affo$d!
',es! .ut it's &ust a feeling, you #now!'
6ohn was f$owning! " supposed the idea that 2evo$e 'ight $eso$t to ext$alegal 'eans of o%taining
what he wanted had occu$$ed to hi', as well! '1eep you$ eye on he$ as 'uch as you can,' he said! '"
$espect intuition! "s you$s %ased on anything conc$eteB'
'No,' attie answe$ed, and he$ )uic# glance in 'y di$ection as#ed 'e to #eep 'y 'outh shut!
'Not $eally!' She opened the Scout's doo$ and tossed in the little %$own %ag with the Twin#ies in it
+ she had decided to #eep the' afte$ all! Then she tu$ned to 6ohn and 'e with an exp$ession that
was close to ange$! '"'' not su$e how to follow that advice, anyway! " wo$# five days a wee#, and in
August, when we do the 'ic$ofiche update, it'll %e six! Right now 1i gets he$ lunch at 4acation
.i%le School and he$ dinne$ f$o' A$lene 3ullu'! " see he$ in the 'o$nings! The $est of the ti'e ! ! !
'
" #new what she was going to say %efo$e she said it7 the exp$ession was an old one! ' ! ! ! she's on
the TR!'
'" could help you find an au pair,' " said, thin#ing it would %e a hell of a lot cheape$ than 6ohn
Sto$$ow!
'No,' they said in such pe$fect unison that they glanced at each othe$ and laughed! .ut even while
she was laughing, attie loo#ed tense and unhappy!
'(e'$e not going to leave a pape$ t$ail fo$ 2u$gin o$ 2evo$e's custody tea' to exploit,' 6ohn said!
'(ho pays 'e is one thing! (ho pays attie's child*ca$e help is anothe$!'
'.esides, "'ve ta#en enough f$o' you,' attie said! 'o$e than " can sleep easy on! "'' not going
to get in any deepe$ &ust %ecause "'ve %een having 'eg$i's!' She cli'%ed into the Scout and closed
the doo$!
" $ested 'y hands on he$ open window! Now we we$e on the sa'e level, and the eye*contact was
so st$ong it was disconce$ting! 'attie, " don't have anything else to spend it on! Really!'
'(hen it co'es to 6ohn's fee, " accept that! .ecause 6ohn's fee is a%out 1i!' She put he$ hand ove$
'ine and s)uee=ed %$iefly! 'This othe$ is a%out 'e! All $ightB'
',eah! .ut you need to tell you$ %a%ysitte$ and the people who $un this .i%le thing that you've
got a custody case on you$ hands, a potentially %itte$ one, and 1y$a's not to go anywhe$e with
anyone, even so'eone they #now, without you$ say*so!'
She s'iled! '"t's al$eady %een done! On 6ohn's advice! Stay in touch, i#e!' She lifted 'y hand,
gave it a hea$ty s'ac#, and d$ove away!
'(hat do you thin#B' " as#ed 6ohn as we watched the Scout %low oil on its way to the new 0$outy
.$idge, which spans 3astle St$eet and spills out%ound t$affic onto Highway L?!
'" thin# it's g$and she has a well*heeled %enefacto$ and a s'a$t lawye$,' 6ohn said! He paused,
then addedD '.ut "'ll tell you so'e*thing + she so'ehow doesn't feel luc#y to 'e at all! The$e's a
feeling " get ! ! ! " don't #now ! ! ! '
'That the$e's a cloud a$ound he$ you can't )uite see!'
'ay%e! ay%e that's it!' He $a#ed his hands th$ough the $estless 'ass of his $ed hai$! '" &ust #now
it's so'ething sad!'
" #new exactly what he 'eant ! ! ! except fo$ 'e the$e was 'o$e! " wanted to %e in %ed with he$,
sad o$ not, $ight o$ not! " wanted to feel he$ hands on 'e, tugging and p$essing, patting and
st$o#ing! " wanted to %e a%le to s'ell he$ s#in and taste he$ hai$! " wanted to have he$ lips against
'y ea$, he$ %$eath tic#ling the fine hai$s within its cup as she told 'e to do what " wanted,
whateve$ " wanted!
" got %ac# to Sa$a 8aughs sho$tly %efo$e two o'cloc# and let 'yself in, thin#ing a%out nothing %ut
'y study and the ". with the 3ou$ie$ %all! " was w$iting again + writing! " could still ha$dly
%elieve it! "'d wo$# -not that it felt 'uch li#e wo$# afte$ a fou$*yea$ layoff/ until 'ay%e six o'cloc#,
swi', then go down to the 4illage 3afe fo$ one of .uddy's choleste$ol*$ich specialties!
The 'o'ent " stepped th$ough the doo$, .unte$'s %ell %egan to $ing st$idently! " stopped in the
foye$, 'y hand f$o=en on the #no%! The house was hot and %$ight, not a shadow anywhe$e, %ut the
gooseflesh fo$'ing on 'y a$'s felt li#e 'idnight!
'(ho's he$eB' " called! The %ell stopped $inging! The$e was a 'o'ent of silence, and then a
wo'an sh$ie#ed! "t ca'e f$o' eve$ywhe$e, pou$ing out of the sunny, 'ote*laden ai$ li#e sweat out
of hot s#in! "t was a sc$ea' of out$age, ange$, g$ief ! ! ! %ut 'ostly, " thin#, of ho$$o$! And "
sc$ea'ed in $esponse! " couldn't help it! " had %een f$ightened standing in the da$# cella$ stai$well,
listening to the unseen fist thu'p on the insulation, %ut this was fa$ wo$se!
"t neve$ stopped, that sc$ea'! "t faded, as the child's so%s had faded7 faded as if the pe$son
sc$ea'ing was %eing ca$$ied $apidly down a long co$$ido$ and away f$o' 'e!
At last it was gone!
" leaned against the %oo#case, 'y pal' p$essed against 'y tee*shi$t, 'y hea$t galloping %eneath
it! " was gasping fo$ %$eath, and 'y 'uscles had that )uee$ e$ploded feel they get afte$ you've had a
%ad sca$e!
A 'inute passed! y hea$t%eat g$adually slowed, and 'y %$eathing slowed with it! " st$aightened
up, too# a totte$y step, and when 'y legs held 'e, too# two 'o$e! " stood in the #itchen doo$way,
loo#ing ac$oss to the living $oo'! A%ove the fi$eplace, .unte$ the 'oose loo#ed glassily %ac# at
'e! The %ell a$ound his nec# hung still and chi'eless! A hot sunpoint glowed on its side! The only
sound was that stupid 9elix the 3at cloc# in the #itchen!
The thought nagging at 'e, even then, was that the sc$ea'ing wo'an had %een 6o, that Sa$a
8aughs was %eing haunted %y 'y wife, and that she was in pain! 2ead o$ not, she was in pain!
'6oB' " as#ed )uietly! '6o, a$e you + '
The so%%ing %egan again + the sound of a te$$ified child! At the sa'e 'o'ent 'y 'outh and
nose once 'o$e filled with the i$on taste of the la#e! " put one hand to 'y th$oat, gagging and
f$ightened, then leaned ove$ the sin# and spat! "t was as it had %een %efo$e + instead of voiding a
gush of wate$, nothing ca'e out %ut a little spit! The wate$logged feeling was gone as if it had
neve$ %een the$e!
" stayed whe$e " was, g$asping the counte$ and %ent ove$ the sin#, p$o%a%ly loo#ing li#e a d$un#
who has finished the pa$ty %y upchuc#ing 'ost of the night's %ottled chee$! " felt li#e that, too +
stunned and %lea$y, too ove$loaded to $eally unde$stand what was going on!
At last " st$aightened up again, too# the towel folded ove$ the dishwashe$'s handle, and wiped 'y
face with it! The$e was tea in the f$idge, and " wanted a tall, ice*cho#ed glass of it in the wo$st way!
" $eached fo$ the doo$handle and f$o=e!
The f$uit and vegeta%le 'agnets we$e d$awn into a ci$cle again! "n the cente$ was thisD
help i' d$own
"hat's it, " thought! 1'm getting out of here( Right now( "oday!
,et an hou$ late$ " was up in 'y stifling study with a glass of tea on the des# %eside 'e -the
cu%es in it long since 'elted/, d$essed only in 'y %athing t$un#s and lost in the wo$ld " was 'a#ing
+ the one whe$e a p$ivate detective na'ed Andy 2$a#e was t$ying to p$ove that 6ohn Shac#lefo$d
was not the se$ial #ille$ nic#na'ed .ase%all 3ap!
This is how we go onD one day at a ti'e, one 'eal at a ti'e, one pain at a ti'e, one %$eath at a
ti'e! 2entists go on one $oot*canal at a ti'e7 %oat*%uilde$s go on one hull at a ti'e! "f you w$ite
%oo#s, you go on one page at a ti'e! (e tu$n f$o' all we #now and all we fea$! (e study
catalogues, watch foot%all ga'es, choose Sp$int ove$ ATRT! (e count the %i$ds in the s#y and will
not tu$n f$o' the window when we hea$ the footsteps %ehind us as so'ething co'es up the hall7 we
say yes, " ag$ee that clouds often loo# li#e othe$ things + fish and unico$ns and 'en on ho$se%ac#
+ %ut they a$e $eally only clouds! Even when the lightning flashes inside the' we say they a$e
only clouds and tu$n ou$ attention to the next 'eal, the next pain, the next %$eath, the next page!
This is how we go on!
3HA0TER S">TEEN
The %oo# was %ig, o#ayB The %oo# was 'a&o$!
" was af$aid to change rooms, let alone pac# up the typew$ite$ and 'y sli' &ust*%egun
'anusc$ipt and ta#e it %ac# to 2e$$y! That would %e as dange$ous as ta#ing an infant out in a
windsto$'! So " stayed, always $ese$ving the $ight to 'ove out if things got too wei$d -the way
s'o#e$s $ese$ve the $ight to )uit if thei$ coughs get too heavy/, and a wee# passed! Things
happened du$ing that wee#, %ut until " 'et ax 2evo$e on The St$eet the following 9$iday + the
seventeenth of 6uly, it would have %een + the 'ost i'po$tant thing was that " continued to wo$#
on a novel which would, if finished, %e called #y hildhood /riend! 0e$haps we always thin# what
was lost was the %est ! ! ! o$ would have %een the %est! " don't #now fo$ su$e! (hat " do #now is that
'y $eal life that wee# had 'ostly to do with Andy 2$a#e, 6ohn Shac#lefo$d, and a shadowy figu$e
standing in the deep %ac#g$ound! Ray'ond 5a$$aty, 6ohn Shac#le*fo$d's childhood f$iend! A 'an
who so'eti'es wo$e a %ase%all cap!
2u$ing that wee#, the 'anifestations in the house continued, %ut at a lowe$ level + the$e was
nothing li#e that %loodcu$dling sc$ea'! So'eti'es .unte$'s %ell $ang, and so'eti'es the f$uit and
vegeta%le 'agnets would $e*fo$' the'selves into a ci$cle ! ! ! neve$ with wo$ds in the 'iddle,
though7 not that wee#! One 'o$ning " got up and the suga$ canniste$ was ove$tu$ned, 'a#ing 'e
thin# of attie's sto$y a%out the flou$! Nothing was w$itten in the spill, %ut the$e was a s)uiggle +
+ as though so'ething had t$ied to w$ite and failed! "f so, " sy'pathi=ed! " #new what that was
li#e!
y depo %efo$e the $edou%ta%le El'e$ 2u$gin was on 9$iday the tenth! On the following Tuesday "
too# The St$eet down to (a$$ington's soft%all field, hoping fo$ 'y own pee# at ax 2evo$e! "t was
going on six o'cloc# when " got within hea$ing $ange of the shouts, chee$s, and %atted %alls! A path
'a$#ed with $ustic signs -cu$licued W's %u$ned into oa# a$$ows/ led past an a%andoned %oathouse, a
couple of sheds, and a ga=e%o half*%u$ied in %lac#%e$$y c$eepe$s! " eventually ca'e out in deep
cente$ field! A litte$ of potato*chip %ags, candy*w$appe$s, and %ee$ cans suggested that othe$s
so'eti'es watched the ga'es f$o' this vantage*point! " couldn't help thin#ing a%out 6o and he$
'yste$ious f$iend, the guy in the old %$own spo$tcoat, the %u$ly guy who had slipped an a$' a$ound
he$ waist and led he$ away f$o' the ga'e, laughing, %ac# towa$d The St$eet! Twice ove$ the
wee#end "'d co'e close to calling .onnie A'udson, seeing if 'ay%e " could chase that guy down,
put a na'e on hi', and %oth ti'es " had %ac#ed off! Sleeping dogs, " told 'yself each ti'e!
Sleeping dogs, ichael!
" had the a$ea %eyond deep cente$ to 'yself that evening, and it felt li#e the $ight distance f$o'
ho'e plate, conside$ing the 'an who usually pa$#ed his wheelchai$ %ehind the %ac#stop had called
'e a lia$ and " had invited hi' to sto$e 'y telephone nu'%e$ whe$e the sunshine g$ows di'!
" needn't have wo$$ied in any case! 2evo$e wasn't in attendance, no$ was the lovely Rogette!
" did spot attie %ehind the casually 'aintained chic#enwi$e %a$$ie$ on the fi$st*%ase line! 6ohn
Sto$$ow was %eside he$, wea$ing &eans and a polo shi$t, his $ed hai$ 'ostly co$$alled %y a ets cap!
They stood watching the ga'e and chatting li#e old f$iends fo$ two innings %efo$e they saw 'e +
'o$e than enough ti'e fo$ 'e to feel envious of 6ohn's position, and a little &ealous as well!
9inally so'eone lofted a long fly to cente$, whe$e the edge of the woods se$ved as the only
fence! The cente$ fielde$ %ac#ed up, %ut it was going to %e fa$ ove$ his head! "t was hit to 'y depth,
off to 'y $ight! " 'oved in that di$ection without thin#ing, high*footing th$ough the sh$u%s that
fo$'ed a =one %etween the 'own outfield and the t$ees, hoping " wasn't $unning th$ough poison
ivy! " caught the soft%all in 'y outst$etched left hand, and laughed when so'e of the spectato$s
chee$ed! The cente$ fielde$ applauded 'e %y tapping his %a$e $ight hand into the poc#et of his
glove! The %atte$, 'eanwhile, ci$cled the %ases se$enely, #nowing he had hit a g$ound*$ule ho'e
$un!
" tossed the %all to the fielde$ and as " $etu$ned to 'y o$iginal post a'ong the candy*w$appe$s
and %ee$ cans, " loo#ed %ac# in and saw attie and 6ohn loo#ing at 'e!
"f anything confi$'s the idea that we'$e &ust anothe$ species of ani'al, one with a slightly %igge$
%$ain and a much %igge$ idea of ou$ own i'po$tance in the sche'e of things, it's how 'uch we can
convey %y gestu$e when we a%solutely have to! attie clasped he$ hands to he$ chest, tilted he$
head to the left, $aised he$ eye%$ows + #y hero! " held 'y hands to 'y shoulde$s and flipped the
pal's s#ywa$d Shucks' ma'am' 't'warn't nothin! 6ohn lowe$ed his head and put his finge$s to his
%$ow, as if so'ething the$e hu$t + ,ou lucky sonofabitch!
(ith those co''ents out of the way, " pointed at the %ac#stop and sh$ugged a )uestion! .oth
attie and 6ohn sh$ugged %ac#! An inning late$ a little %oy who loo#ed li#e one giant exploding
f$ec#le $an out to whe$e " was, his ove$si=ed ichael 6o$dan &e$sey chu$ning a$ound his shins li#e a
d$ess!
'5uy down the$e gi''e fifty cent to say you should call i' late$ on at his hotel ove$ in the
Roc#,' he said, pointing at 6ohn! 'He say you gi''e anothe$ fifty cent if the$e was an answe$!'
'Tell hi' "'ll call hi' a$ound nine*thi$ty,' " said! '" don't have any change, though! 3an you ta#e a
%uc#B'
'Hey, yeah, swan#!' He snatched it, tu$ned away, then tu$ned %ac#! He g$inned, $evealing a set of
teeth caught %etween Act " and Act ""! (ith the soft%all playe$s in the %ac#g$ound, he loo#ed li#e a
No$'an Roc#well a$chetype! '5uy also say tell you that was a %ullshit catch!'
'Tell hi' people used to say the sa'e thing a%out (illie ays all the ti'e!'
'(illie whoB'
Ah, youth! Ah, 'o$es! '6ust tell hi', son! He'll #now!'
" stayed anothe$ inning, %ut %y then the ga'e was getting d$un#, 2evo$e still hadn't shown, and "
went %ac# ho'e the way " had co'e! " 'et one fishe$'an standing out on a $oc# and two young
people st$olling along The St$eet towa$d (a$$ington's, thei$ hands lin#ed! They said hi and " hi'd
the' %ac#! " felt lonely and content at the sa'e ti'e! " %elieve that is a $a$e #ind of happiness!
So'e people chec# thei$ phone answe$ing 'achines when they get ho'e7 that su''e$ " always
chec#ed the f$ont of the f$idge! Eenie*'eenie*chili*%eanie, as .ullwin#le oose used to say, the
spi$its a$e a%out to spea#! That night they hadn't, although the f$uit and vegeta%le 'agnets had $e*
fo$'ed into a sinuous shape li#e a sna#e o$ pe$haps the lette$ S ta#ing a napD
A little late$ " called 6ohn and as#ed hi' whe$e 2evo$e had %een, and he $epeated in wo$ds what
he had al$eady told 'e, and 'uch 'o$e econo'ically, %y gestu$e! '"t's the fi$st ga'e he's 'issed
since he ca'e %ac#,' he said! 'attie t$ied as#ing a few people if he was o#ay, and the consensus
see'ed to %e that he was ! ! ! at least as fa$ as anyone #new!'
'(hat do you 'ean she tried as#ing a few peopleB'
'" 'ean that seve$al wouldn't even tal# to he$! K3ut he$ dead,K 'y pa$ents' gene$ation would have
said!' Watch it' buddy, " thought %ut didn't say, that's only half a step from my generation! 'One of
he$ old gi$lf$iends spo#e to he$ finally, %ut the$e's a gene$al attitude a%out attie 2evo$e! That 'an
Osgood 'ay %e a shitty sales'an, %ut as 2evo$e's $! oneyguy he's doing a wonde$ful &o% of
sepa$ating attie f$o' the othe$ fol#s in the town! 1s it a town, i#eB " don't )uite get that pa$t!'
'"t's &ust the TR,' " said a%sently! 'The$e's no $eal way to explain it!
2o you actually %elieve 2evo$e's %$i%ing e&eryoneB That doesn't say 'uch fo$ the old
(o$dswo$thian idea of pasto$al innocence and goodness, does itB'
'He's sp$eading 'oney and using Osgood + 'ay%e 9oot'an, too + to sp$ead sto$ies! And the
fol#s a$ound he$e see' at least as honest as honest politicians!'
'The ones who stay %oughtB'
',eah! Oh, and " saw one of 2evo$e's potential sta$ witnesses in the 3ase of the Runaway 3hild!
Royce e$$ill! He was ove$ %y the e)uip'ent shed with so'e of his c$onies! 2id you happen to
notice hi'B'
" said " had not!
'5uy 'ust %e a hund$ed and thi$ty,' 6ohn said! 'He's got a cane with a gold head the si=e of an
elephant's asshole!'
'That's a Boston 6ost cane! The oldest pe$son in the a$ea gets to #eep it!'
'And " have no dou%t he ca'e %y it honestly! "f 2evo$e's lawye$s put hi' on the stand, "'ll
de%one hi'!' The$e was so'ething chilling in 6ohn's gleeful confidence!
'"'' su$e,' " said! 'How did attie ta#e getting cut dead %y he$ old f$iendsB' " was thin#ing of he$
saying that she hated Tuesday nights, hated to thin# of the soft%all ga'es going on as they always
had at the field whe$e she had 'et he$ late hus%and!
'She did o#ay,' 6ohn said! '" thin# she's given 'ost of the' up as a lost cause, anyway!' " had 'y
dou%ts a%out that + " see' to $e'e'%e$ that at twenty*one lost causes a$e so$t of a specialty + %ut
" didn't say anything! 'She's hanging in! She's %een lonely and sca$ed, " thin# that in he$ own 'ind
she 'ight al$eady have %egun the p$ocess of giving 1y$a up, %ut she's got he$ confidence %ac#
now! ostly than#s to 'eeting you! Tal# a%out you$ fantastically luc#y %$ea#s!'
(ell, 'ay%e! " flashed on 6o's! %$othe$ 9$an# once saying to 'e that he didn't thin# the$e was any
such thing as luc#, only fate and inspi$ed choices! And then " $e'e'%e$ed that i'age of the TR
c$iss*c$ossed with invisi%le ca%les, connections that we$e unseen %ut as st$ong as steel!
'6ohn, " fo$got to as# the 'ost i'po$tant )uestion of all the othe$ day, afte$ " gave 'y depo! This
custody case we'$e all so conce$ned a%out ! ! ! has it even %een scheduledB'
'5ood )uestion! "'ve chec#ed th$ee ways to Sunday, and .issonette has, too! Unless 2evo$e and
his people have pulled so'ething $eally slippe$y, li#e filing in anothe$ cou$t dist$ict, " don't thin# it
has %een!'
'3ould they do thatB 9ile in anothe$ dist$ictB'
'ay%e! .ut p$o%a%ly not without us finding out!'
'So what does it 'eanB'
'That 2evo$e's on the ve$ge of giving up,' 6ohn said p$o'ptly! 'As of now " see no othe$ way of
explaining it! "'' going %ac# to New ,o$# fi$st thing to'o$$ow, %ut "'ll stay in touch! "f anything
co'es up he$e, you do the sa'e!'
" said " would and went to %ed! No fe'ale visito$s ca'e to sha$e 'y d$ea's! That was so$t of a
$elief!
(hen " ca'e downstai$s to $echa$ge 'y iced*tea glass late (ednesday 'o$ning, .$enda ese$ve
had e$ected the laund$y whi$ligig on the %ac# stoop and was hanging out 'y clothes! This she did
as he$ 'othe$ had no dou%t taught he$, with pants and shi$ts on the outside and undies on the inside,
whe$e any passing nosypa$#e$s couldn't see what you chose to wea$ closest to you$ s#in!
',ou can ta#e these in a$ound fou$ o'cloc#,' $s! ! said as she p$epa$ed to leave! She loo#ed at
'e with the %$ight and cynical eye of a wo'an who has %een 'doing fo$' well*off 'en he$ enti$e
life! '2on't you fo$get and leave e' out all night + dewy clothes don't eve$ feel f$esh until they'$e
wa$shed again!'
" told he$ 'ost hu'%ly that " would $e'e'%e$ to ta#e in 'y clothes! " then as#ed he$ + feeling
li#e a spy wo$#ing an e'%assy pa$ty fo$ info$'ation + if the house felt all $ight to he$!
'All $ight howB' she as#ed, coc#ing one wild eye%$ow at 'e!
'(ell, "'ve hea$d funny noises a couple of ti'es! "n the night!'
She sniffed! '"t's a log house, ennitB .uilt in $elays, so to spea#! "t settles, one wing against
t'othe$! That's what you hea$, 'ost li#ely!'
'No ghosts, huhB' " said, as if disappointed!
'Not that "'ve eve$ seen,' she said, 'atte$*of*fact as an accountant, '%ut 'y 'a said the$e's plenty
down he$e! She said this whole la#e is haunted! .y the ic'acs that lived he$e until they was
d$iven out %y 5ene$al (ing, %y all the 'en who went away to the 3ivil (a$ and died the$e + ove$
six hund$ed went f$o' this pa$t of the wo$ld, $! Noonan, and less than a hund$ed and fifty ca'e
%ac# ! ! ! at least in thei$ %odies! a said this side of 2a$# Sco$e's also haunted %y the ghost of that
Neg$o %oy who died he$e, poo$ ty#e! He %elonged to one of the Red*Tops, you #now!'
'No + " #now a%out Sa$a and the Red*Tops, %ut not this!' " paused! '2id he d$ownB'
'Nawp, caught in an ani'al t$ap! St$uggled the$e fo$ 'ost of a whole day, sc$ea'ing fo$ help!
9inally they found hi'! They saved the foot, %ut they shouldn't have! .lood*poisoning set in, and
the %oy died! Su''e$ of ought*one, that was! "t's why they left, " guess + it was too sad to stay!
.ut 'y 'a used to clai' the little fella, he stayed! She used to say that he's still on the TR!'
" wonde$ed what $s! ! would say if " told he$ that the little fella had ve$y li#ely %een he$e to
g$eet 'e when " a$$ived f$o' 2e$$y, and had %een %ac# on seve$al occasions since!
'Then the$e was 1enny Auste$'s fathe$, No$'al,' she said! ',ou #now that sto$y, don't youB Oh,
that's a te$$i%le sto$y!' She loo#ed $athe$ pleased + eithe$ at #nowing such a te$$i%le sto$y o$ at
having the chance to tell it!
'No,' " said! '" #now 1enny, though! He's the one with the wolfhound! .lue%e$$y!'
'Ayuh! He ca$pente$s a tad and ca$eta#es a tad, &ust li#e his fathe$ %efo$e hi'! His dad ca$etoo#
'any of these places, you #now, and %ac# &ust afte$ the Second (o$ld (a$ was ove$, No$'al
Auste$ d$ownded 1enny's little %$othe$ in his %ac# ya$d! This was when they lived on (asp Hill,
down whe$e the $oad splits, one side going to the old %oat*landin and the othe$ to the 'a$ina! He
didn't d$own the ty#e in the la#e, though! He put hi' on the g$ound unde$ the pu'p and &ust held
hi' the$e until the %a%y was full of wate$ and dead!'
" stood the$e loo#ing at he$, the clothes %ehind us snapping on thei$ whi$ligig! " thought of 'y
'outh and nose and th$oat full of that cold 'ine$al taste that could have %een well*wate$ as well as
la#ewate$7 down he$e all of it co'es f$o' the sa'e deep a)uife$s! " thought of the 'essage on the
$ef$ige$ato$D help im drown!
'He left the %a%y laying $ight unde$ the pu'p! He had a new 3hev$olet, and he d$ove it down
he$e to 8ane 9o$ty*two! Too# his shotgun, too!'
',ou a$en't going to tell 'e 1enny Auste$'s dad co''itted suicide in 'y house, a$e you, $s!
ese$veB'
She shoo# he$ head! 'Nawp! He did it on the .$ic#e$s' la#eside dec#! Sat down on thei$ po$ch
glide$ and %lew his da'ned %a%y*'u$de$ing head off!'
'The .$ic#e$sB " don't + '
',ou wouldn't! Hasn't %een any .$ic#e$s on the la#e since the sixties! They we$e f$o' 2elawa$e!
Nuality fol#s! ,ou'd thin# of it as the (a$sh%u$n place, " guess, although they'$e gone, now, too!
0lace is e'pty! Eve$y now and then that sta$# natu$al%o$n fool Osgood %$ings so'eone down and
shows it off, %ut he'll neve$ sell it at the p$ice he's as#ing! a$# 'y wo$ds!'
The (ash%u$ns " had #nown + had played %$idge with the' a ti'e o$ two! Nice enough people,
although p$o%a%ly not what $s! !, with he$ )uee$ %ac#count$y sno%%ishness, would have called
')uality!' Thei$ place was 'ay%e an eighth of a 'ile no$th of 'ine along The St$eet! 0ast that point,
the$e's nothing 'uch + the d$op to the la#e gets steep, and the woods a$e 'assed tangles of second
g$owth and %lac#%e$$y %ushes! The St$eet goes on to the tip of Halo .ay at the fa$ no$th end of
2a$# Sco$e, %ut once 8ane 9o$ty*two cu$ves %ac# to the highway, the path is fo$ the 'ost pa$t used
only %y %e$$y*pic#ing expeditions in the su''e$ and hunte$s in the fall!
No$'al, " thought! Hell of a na'e fo$ a guy who had d$owned his infant son unde$ the %ac#ya$d
pu'p!
'2id he leave a noteB Any explanationB'
'Nawp! .ut you'll hea$ fol#s say he haunts the la#e, too! 8ittle towns a$e 'ost li#ely full of
haunts, %ut " couldn't say aye, no, o$ 'ay%e 'yself7 " ain't the sensitive type! All " #now a%out you$
place, $! Noonan, is that it s'ells da'p no 'atte$ how 'uch " t$y to get it ai$ed out! " ''agine
that's logs! 8og %uildins don't go well with la#es! The da'p gets into the wood!'
She had set he$ pu$se down %etween he$ Ree%o#s7 now she %ent and pic#ed it up! "t was a
count$ywo'an's pu$se, %lac#, styleless -except fo$ the gold g$o''ets holding the handles on/, and
utilita$ian! She could have ca$$ied a good selection of #itchen appliances in the$e if she had wanted
to!
'" can't stand he$e natte$in all day long, though, 'uch as " 'ight li#e to! " got one 'o$e place to
go %efo$e " can call it )uits! Su''e$'s ha'vest ti'e in this pa$t of the wo$ld, you #now! Now
$e'e'%e$ to ta#e those clothes in %efo$e da$#, $! Noonan! 2on't let e' get all dewy!'
'" won't!' And " didn't! .ut when " went out to ta#e the' in, d$essed in 'y %athing t$un#s and
coated with sweat f$o' the oven "'d %een wo$#ing in -" had to get the ai$ conditione$ fixed, &ust had
to/, " saw that so'ething had alte$ed $s! !'s a$$ange'ents! y &eans and shi$ts now hung a$ound
the pole! The unde$wea$ and soc#s, which had %een deco$ously hidden when $s! ! d$ove up the
d$iveway in he$ old 9o$d, we$e now on the outside! "t was as if 'y unseen guest + one of 'y
unseen guests + was saying ha ha ha!
" went to the li%$a$y the next day, and 'ade $enewing 'y li%$a$y ca$d 'y fi$st o$de$ of %usiness!
8indy .$iggs he$self too# 'y fou$ %uc#s and ente$ed 'e into the co'pute$, fi$st telling 'e how
so$$y she had %een to hea$ a%out 6o's death! And, as with .ill, " sensed a ce$tain $ep$oach in he$
tone, as if " we$e to %la'e fo$ such i'p$ope$ly delayed condolences! " supposed " was!
'8indy, do you have a town histo$yB' " as#ed when we had finished the p$op$ieties conce$ning 'y
wife!
'(e have two,' she said, then leaned towa$d 'e ove$ the des#, a little wo'an in a violently
patte$ned sleeveless d$ess, he$ hai$ a g$ay puff%all a$ound he$ head, he$ %$ight eyes swi''ing
%ehind he$ %ifocals! "n a confidential voice she added, 'Neithe$ is 'uch good!'
'(hich one is %ette$B' " as#ed, 'atching he$ tone!
'0$o%a%ly the one %y Edwa$d Osteen! He was a su''e$ $esident until the 'id*fifties and lived
he$e full*ti'e when he $eti$ed! He w$ote Dark Score Days in :;L@ o$ 'LL! He had it p$ivately
pu%lished %ecause he couldn't find a co''e$cial house that would ta#e it! Even the $egional
pu%lishe$s passed!' She sighed! 'The locals %ought it, %ut that's not 'any %oo#s, is itB'
'No, " suppose not,' " said!
'He &ust wasn't 'uch of a w$ite$! Not 'uch of a photog$aphe$, eithe$ + those little %lac#*and*
white snaps of his 'a#e 'y eyes hu$t! Still, he tells so'e good sto$ies! The ic'ac 2$ive, 5ene$al
(ing's t$ic# ho$se, the twiste$ in the eighteen*eighties, the fi$es in the nine*teen*thi$ties ! ! ! '
'Anything a%out Sa$a and the Red*TopsB'
She nodded, s'iling! '9inally got a$ound to loo#ing up the histo$y of you$ own place, did youB
"'' glad to hea$ it! He found an old photo of the', and it's in the$e! He thought it was ta#en at the
9$ye%u$g 9ai$ in :;AA! Ed used to say he'd give a lot to hea$ a $eco$d 'ade %y that %unch!'
'So would ", %ut none we$e eve$ 'ade!' A hai#u %y the 5$ee# poet 5eo$ge Sefe$is suddenly
occu$$ed to 'eD Are these the &oices of our dead friends D or )ust the gramophone? '(hat happened
to $! OsteenB " don't $ecall the na'e!'
'2ied not a yea$ o$ two %efo$e you and 6o %ought you$ place on the la#e,' she said! '3ance$!'
',ou said the$e we$e two histo$iesB'
'The othe$ one you p$o%a%ly #now + A .istory of astle ounty and astle Rock! 2one fo$ the
county centennial, and d$y as dust! Eddie Osteen's %oo# isn't ve$y well w$itten, %ut he wasn't d$y!
,ou have to give hi' that 'uch! ,ou should find the' %oth ove$ the$e!' She pointed to shelves
with a sign ove$ the' which $ead of O9 A"NE "NTEREST! 'They don't ci$culate!' Then she
%$ightened! 'Although we will happily ta#e any nic#els you should feel 'oved to feed into ou$
photocopy 'achine!'
attie was sitting in the fa$ co$ne$ next to a %oy in a tu$ned*a$ound %ase%all cap, showing hi'
how to use the 'ic$ofil' $eade$! She loo#ed up at 'e, s'iled, and 'outhed the wo$ds Nice catch!
Refe$$ing to 'y luc#y g$a% at (a$$ington's, p$esu'a%ly! " gave a 'odest little sh$ug %efo$e tu$ning
to the O9 A"NE "NTEREST shelves! .ut she was $ight + luc#y o$ not, it had %een a nice catch!
'(hat a$e you loo#ing fo$B'
" was so deep into the two histo$ies "'d found that attie's voice 'ade 'e &u'p! " tu$ned a$ound
and s'iled, fi$st awa$e that she was wea$ing so'e light and pleasant pe$fu'e, second that 8indy
.$iggs was watching us f$o' the 'ain des#, he$ welco'ing s'ile put away!
'.ac#g$ound on the a$ea whe$e " live,' " said! 'Old sto$ies! y house#eepe$ got 'e inte$ested!'
Then, in a lowe$ voiceD 'Teache$'s watching! 2on't loo# a$ound!'
attie loo#ed sta$tled + and, " thought, a little wo$$ied! As it tu$ned out, she was $ight to %e
wo$$ied! "n a voice that was low*pitched yet still designed to ca$$y at least as fa$ as the des#, she
as#ed if she could $eshelve eithe$ %oo# fo$ 'e! " gave he$ %oth! As she pic#ed the' up she said in
what was al'ost a con's whispe$D 'That lawye$ who $ep$esented you last 9$iday got 6ohn a p$ivate
detective! He says they 'ay have found so'ething inte$esting a%out the gua$dian ad litem!'
" wal#ed ove$ to the O9 A"NE "NTEREST shelves with he$, hoping " wasn't getting he$ in t$ou%le,
and as#ed if she #new what the so'ething inte$esting 'ight %e! She shoo# he$ head, gave 'e a
p$ofessional little li%$a$ian's s'ile, and " went away!
On the $ide %ac# to the house, " t$ied to thin# a%out what "'d $ead, %ut the$e wasn't 'uch! Osteen
was a %ad w$ite$ who had ta#en %ad pictu$es, and while his sto$ies we$e colo$ful, they we$e also
p$etty thin on the g$ound! He 'entioned Sa$a and the Red*Tops, all $ight, %ut he $efe$$ed to the' as
a '2ixie*8and octet,' and even " #new that wasn't $ight! The Red*Tops 'ight have played so'e
2ixieland, %ut they had p$i'a$ily %een a %lues g$oup -9$iday and Satu$day nights/ and a gospel
g$oup -Sunday 'o$nings/! Osteen's two*page su''a$y of the Red*Tops' stay on the TR 'ade it
clea$ that he had hea$d no one else's cove$s of Sa$a's tunes!
He confi$'ed that a child had died of %lood*poisoning caused %y a t$aphold wound, a sto$y
which sounded li#e .$enda ese$ve's ! ! ! %ut why wouldn't itB Osteen had li#ely hea$d it f$o' $s!
!'s fathe$ o$ g$andfathe$! He also said that the %oy was Son Tidwell's only child, and that the
guita$*playe$'s $eal na'e was Reginald! The Tidwells had supposedly d$ifted no$th f$o' the
who$ehouse dist$ict of New O$leans + the fa%led c$i%*and*clu% st$eets which had %een #nown
a$ound the tu$n of the centu$y as Sto$yville!
The$e was no 'ention of Sa$a and the Red*Tops in the 'o$e fo$'al histo$y of 3astle 3ounty,
and no 'ention of 1enny Auste$'s d$ownded little %$othe$ in eithe$ %oo#! Not long %efo$e attie
ca'e ove$ to spea# to 'e, "'d had a wild ideaD that Son Tidwell and Sa$a Tidwell we$e 'an and
wife, and that the little %oy -not na'ed %y Osteen/ had %een thei$ son! " found the pictu$e 8indy had
'entioned and studied it closely! "t showed at least a do=en %lac# people standing in a stiff g$oup in
f$ont of what loo#ed li#e a cattle exhi%ition! The$e was an old*fashioned 9e$$is wheel in the
%ac#g$ound! "t could well have %een ta#en at the 9$ye%u$g 9ai$, and as old and faded as it was, it
had a si'ple, ele'ental powe$ that all Osteen's own photos put togethe$ could not 'atch! ,ou have
seen photog$aphs of weste$n and 2ep$ession*e$a %andidos that have that sa'e loo# of ee$ie t$uth +
ste$n faces a%ove tight ties and colla$s, eyes not )uite lost in the shadows of anti)ue hat%$i's!
Sa$a stood f$ont and cente$, wea$ing a %lac# d$ess and he$ guita$! She was not out$ight s'iling in
this pictu$e, %ut the$e see'ed to %e a s'ile in he$ eyes, and " thought they we$e li#e the eyes in
so'e paintings, the ones that see' to follow you whe$eve$ you 'ove in the $oo'! " studied the
photo and thought of he$ al'ost spiteful voice in 'y d$ea'D What do you want to know' sugar? "
suppose " wanted to #now a%out he$ and the othe$s + who they had %een, what they we$e to each
othe$ when they we$en't singing and playing, why they'd left, whe$e they'd gone!
.oth of he$ hands we$e clea$ly visi%le, one posed on the st$ings of he$ guita$, the othe$ on the
f$ets, whe$e she had %een 'a#ing a 5*cho$d on an Octo%e$ 9ai$*day in the yea$ :;AA! He$ finge$s
we$e long, a$tistic, %a$e of $ings! That didn't necessa$ily 'ean that she and Son Tidwell we$en't
'a$$ied, of cou$se, and even if they hadn't %een, the little %oy who'd %een caught in the t$ap could
have %een %o$n on the w$ong side of the %lan#et! Except the sa'e ghost of a s'ile lu$#ed in Son
Tidwell's eyes! The $ese'%lance was $e'a$#a%le! " had an idea that the two of the' had %een
%$othe$ and siste$, not 'an and wife!
" thought a%out these things on 'y way ho'e, and " thought a%out ca%les that we$e felt $athe$
than seen ! ! ! %ut 'ostly " found 'yself thin#ing a%out 8indy .$iggs + the way she had s'iled at
'e, the way, a little late$ on, she had not s'iled at he$ %$ight young li%$a$ian with the high*school
ce$tification! That wo$$ied 'e!
Then " got %ac# to the house, and all " wo$$ied a%out was 'y sto$y and the people in it + %ags of
%ones which we$e putting on flesh daily!
ichael Noonan, ax 2evo$e, and Rogette (hit'o$e played out thei$ ho$$i%le little co'edy scene
9$iday evening! Two othe$ things which %ea$ na$$ating happened %efo$e that!
The fi$st was a call f$o' 6ohn Sto$$ow on Thu$sday night! " was sitting in f$ont of the T4 with a
%ase%all ga'e $unning soundlessly in f$ont of 'e -the UTE %utton with which 'ost $e'ote
cont$ols co'e e)uipped 'ay %e the twentieth centu$y's finest invention/! " was thin#ing a%out Sa$a
Tidwell and Son Tidwell and Son Tidwell's little %oy! " was thin#ing a%out Sto$yville, a na'e any
w$ite$ &ust had to love! And in the %ac# of 'y 'ind " was thin#ing a%out 'y wife, who had died
p$egnant!
'HelloB' " said!
'i#e, " have so'e wonde$ful news,' 6ohn said! He sounded nea$ to %u$sting! 'Ro'eo .issonette
'ay %e a wei$d na'e, %ut the$e's nothing wei$d a%out the detective*guy he found fo$ 'e! His na'e
is 5eo$ge 1ennedy, li#e the acto$! He's good, and he's fast! This guy could wo$# in New ,o$#!'
'"f that's the highest co'pli'ent you can thin# of, you need to get out of the city 'o$e!'
He went on as if he hadn't hea$d! '1ennedy's $eal &o% is with a secu$ity fi$' + the othe$ stuff is
st$ictly in the 'oonlight! (hich is a g$eat loss, %elieve 'e! He got 'ost of this on the phone! " can't
%elieve it!'
'(hat specifically can't you %elieveB'
'6ac#pot, %a%y!' Again he spo#e in that tone of g$eedy satisfaction which " found %oth t$ou%ling
and $eassu$ing! 'El'e$ 2u$gin has done the following things since late ayD paid off his ca$7 paid
off his ca'p in Rangely 8a#es7 caught up on a%out ninety yea$s of child suppo$t + '
'No%ody pays child suppo$t fo$ ninety yea$s,' " said, %ut " was &ust $unning 'y 'outh to hea$ it go
! ! ! to let off so'e of 'y own %uilding excite'ent, in t$uth! ''T'ain't possi%le, cgee!'
'"t is if you have seven #ids,' 6ohn said, and %egan howling with laughte$!
" thought of the pudgy self*satisfied face, the cupid*%ow 'outh, the nails that loo#ed polished
and p$issy! 'He don't,' " said!
'He do,' 6ohn said, still laughing! He sounded li#e a co'plete lunatic + 'anic, hold the
dep$essive! 'He $eally doC Ranging in ages f$o' f*fou$teen to th*th*threeC (hat a %*%usy p*p*potent
little p$ic# he 'ust haveC' o$e helpless howls! And %y now " was howling $ight along with hi' +
"'d caught it li#e the 'u'ps! '1ennedy is going to f*f*fax 'e p*pictu$es of the whole ! ! ! fa'' ! ! !
da'ilyC' (e %$o#e up co'pletely, laughing togethe$ long*distance! " could pictu$e 6ohn Sto$*$ow
sitting alone in his 0a$# Avenue office, %ellowing li#e a lunatic and sca$ing the cleaning ladies!
'That doesn't 'atte$, though,' he said when he could tal# cohe$ently again! ',ou see what 'atte$s,
don't youB'
',es,' " said! 'How could he %e so stupidB' eaning 2u$gin, %ut also 'eaning 2evo$e! 6ohn
unde$stood, " thin#, that we we$e tal#ing a%out %oth he's at the sa'e ti'e!
'El'e$ 2u$gin's a little lawye$ f$o' a little township tuc#ed away in the %ig woods of weste$n
aine, that's all! How could he #now that so'e gua$dian angel would co'e along with the
$esou$ces to s'o#e hi' outB He also %ought a %oat, %y the way! Two wee#s ago! "t's a twin
out%oa$d! A %ig 'un! "t's ove$, i#e! The ho'e tea' sco$es nine $uns in the %otto' of the ninth and
the fuc#ing pennant is ours!'
'"f you say so!' .ut 'y hand went off on its own expedition, 'ade a loose fist, and #noc#ed on
the good solid wood of the coffee*ta%le!
'And hey, the soft%all ga'e wasn't a total loss!' 6ohn was still tal#ing %etween little giggling
out%u$sts li#e heliu' %alloons!
'NoB'
'"'' ta#en with he$!'
'He$B'
'attie,' he said patiently! 'attie 2evo$e!' A pause, thenD 'i#eB A$e you the$eB'
',eah,' " said! '0hone slipped! So$$y!' The phone hadn't slipped as 'uch as an inch, %ut it ca'e
out sounding natu$al enough, " thought! And if it hadn't, so whatB (hen it ca'e to attie, " would
%e + in 6ohn's 'ind, at least + %elow suspicion! 8i#e the count$y*house staff in an Agatha
3h$istie! He was twenty*eight, 'ay%e thi$ty! The idea that a 'an twelve yea$s olde$ 'ight %e
sexually att$acted to attie had p$o%a%ly neve$ c$ossed his 'ind ! ! ! o$ 'ay%e &ust fo$ a second o$
two the$e on the co''on, %efo$e he dis'issed it as ludic$ous! The way attie he$self had
dis'issed the idea of 6o and the 'an in the %$own spo$tcoat!
'" can't do 'y cou$tship dance while "'' $ep$esenting he$,' he said, 'wouldn't %e ethical! (ouldn't
%e safe, eithe$! 8ate$, though ! ! ! you can neve$ tell!'
'No,' " said, hea$ing 'y voice as you so'eti'es do in 'o'ents when you a$e caught co'pletely
fiat*footed, hea$ing it as though it we$e co'ing f$o' so'eone else! So'eone on the $adio o$ the
$eco$d*playe$, 'ay%e! A$e these the voices of ou$ dead f$iends, o$ &ust the g$a'ophoneB " thought
of his hands, the finge$s long and slende$ and without a $ing on any of the'! 8i#e Sa$a's hands in
that old photo! 'No, you can neve$ tell!'
(e said good%ye, and " sat watching the 'uted %ase%all ga'e! " thought a%out getting up to get a
%ee$, %ut it see'ed too fa$ to the $ef$ige$ato$ + a safa$i, in fact! (hat " felt was a #ind of dull hu$t,
followed %y a %ette$ e'otionD $ueful $elief, " guess you'd call it! (as he too old fo$ he$B No, " didn't
thin# so! 6ust a%out $ight! 0$ince 3ha$'ing No! F, this ti'e in a th$ee*piece suit! attie's luc# with
'en 'ight finally %e changing, and if so " should %e glad! " would %e glad! And $elieved! .ecause "
had a %oo# to w$ite, and neve$ 'ind the loo# of white snea#e$s flashing %elow a $ed sund$ess in the
deepening gloo', o$ the e'%e$ of he$ ciga$ette dancing in the da$#!
Still, " felt $eally lonely fo$ the fi$st ti'e since " saw 1y$a 'a$ching up the white line of Route
L? in he$ %athing suit and flip*flops!
',ou funny little 'an, said St$ic#land,' " told the e'pty $oo'! "t ca'e out %efo$e " #new " was
going to say anything, and when it did, the channel on the T4 changed! "t went f$o' %ase%all to a
$e$un of All in the /amily and then to Ren B Stimpy! " glanced down at the $e'ote cont$ol! "t was
still on the coffee*ta%le whe$e "'d left it! The T4 channel changed again, and this ti'e " was loo#ing
at Hu'ph$ey .oga$t and "ng$id .e$g'an! The$e was an ai$plane in the %ac#g$ound, and " didn't
need to pic# up the $e'ote and tu$n on the sound to #now that Hu'ph$ey was telling "ng$id that she
was getting on that plane! y wife's all*ti'e favo$ite 'ovie! She %awled at the end without fail!
'6oB' " as#ed! 'A$e you he$eB'
.unte$'s %ell $ang once! 4e$y faintly! The$e had %een seve$al p$esences in the house, " was su$e
of it ! ! ! %ut tonight, fo$ the fi$st ti'e, " was positive it was 6o who was with 'e!
'(ho was he, honB' " as#ed! 'The guy at the soft%all field, who was heB'
.unte$'s %ell hung still and )uiet! She was in the $oo', though! " sensed he$, so'ething li#e a
held %$eath!
" $e'e'%e$ed the ugly, gi%ing little 'essage on the $ef$ige$ato$ afte$ 'y dinne$ with attie and
1iD blue rose liar ha ha!
'(ho was heB' y voice was unsteady, sounding on the ve$ge of tea$s! '(hat we$e you doing
down he$e with so'e guyB (e$e you ! ! ! ' .ut " couldn't %$ing 'yself to as# if she had %een lying
to 'e, cheating on 'e! " couldn't as# even though the p$esence " felt 'ight %e, let's face it, only in
'y own head!
The T4 switched away f$o' asablanca and he$e was eve$y%ody's favo$ite lawye$, 0e$$y
ason, on Nic# at Nite! 0e$$y's ne'esis, Ha'ilton .u$ge$, was )uestioning a dist$aught*loo#ing
wo'an, and all at once the sound %la$ed on, 'a#ing 'e &u'p!
'" a' not a lia$C' so'e long*ago T4 act$ess c$ied! 9o$ a 'o'ent she loo#ed $ight out at 'e, and "
was stunned %$eathless to see 6o's eyes in that %lac#*and*white fifties face! '" ne&er lied, $! .u$ge$,
neve$C'
'" su%'it that you didC' .u$ge$ $esponded! He 'oved in on he$, lee$ing li#e a va'pi$e! '" su%'it
that you + '
The T4 suddenly went off! .unte$'s %ell gave a single %$is# sha#e, and then whateve$ had %een
he$e was gone! .ut " felt %ette$! " am not a liar ! ! ! " neve$ lied, ne&er!
" could %elieve that if " chose to!
"f " chose!
" went to %ed, and the$e we$e no d$ea's!
" had ta#en to sta$ting wo$# ea$ly, %efo$e the heat could $eally get a hold on the study! "'d d$in#
so'e &uice, go%%le so'e toast, then sit %ehind the ". until al'ost noon, watching the 3ou$ie$ %all
dance and twi$l as the pages floated th$ough the 'achine and ca'e out with w$iting on the'! That
old 'agic, so st$ange and wonde$ful! "t neve$ $eally felt li#e wo$# to 'e, although " called it that7 it
felt li#e so'e wei$d #ind of 'ental t$a'poline " %ounced on! Those we$e sp$ings that too# away all
the weight of the wo$ld fo$ awhile!
At noon "'d %$ea#, d$ive down to .uddy 6ellison's g$easeato$iu' fo$ so'ething nasty, then $etu$n
and wo$# fo$ anothe$ hou$ o$ so! Afte$ that " would swi' and ta#e a long d$ea'less nap in the no$th
%ed$oo'! " had %a$ely po#ed 'y head into the 'aste$ %ed$oo' at the south end of the house, and if
$s! ! thought this was odd, she #ept it to he$self!
On 9$iday the seventeenth, " stopped at the 8a#eview 5ene$al on 'y way %ac# to the house to
gas up 'y 3hev$olet! The$e a$e pu'ps at the All*0u$pose 5a$age, and the go*&uice was a penny o$
two cheape$, %ut " didn't li#e the vi%e! Today, as " stood in f$ont of the sto$e with the pu'p on
auto'atic feed, loo#ing off towa$d the 'ountains, .ill 2ean's 2odge Ra' pulled in on the othe$
side of the island! He cli'%ed down and gave 'e a s'ile! 'How's it going, i#eB'
'0$etty fai$!'
'.$enda says you'$e w$itin up a sto$'!'
'" a',' " said, and it was on the tip of 'y tongue to as# fo$ an update on the %$o#en second*floo$
ai$ conditione$! The tip of 'y tongue was whe$e it stayed! " was still too ne$vous a%out 'y
$ediscove$ed a%ility to want to change anything a%out the envi$on'ent in which " was doing it!
Stupid, 'ay%e, %ut so'eti'es things wo$# &ust %ecause you thin# they wo$#! "t's as good a
definition of faith as any!
'(ell, "'' glad to hea$ it! 4e$y glad!' " thought he was since$e enough, %ut he so'ehow didn't
sound li#e .ill! Not the one who had g$eeted 'e %ac#, anyway!
'"'ve %een loo#ing up so'e old stuff a%out 'y side of the la#e,' " said! 'Sa$a and the Red*TopsB
,ou always we$e so$t ofint'$ested in the', " $e'e'%e$!'
'The', yes, %ut not &ust the'! 8ots of histo$y! " was tal#ing to $s! !, and she told 'e a%out
No$'al Auste$! 1enny's fathe$!'
.ill's s'ile stayed on, and he only paused a 'o'ent in the act of unsc$ewing the cap on his gas
tan#, %ut " still had a sense, )uite clea$, that he had f$o=en inside! ',ou wouldn't w$ite a%out a thing
li#e that, would you, i#eB .ecause the$e's a lot of people a$ound he$e that'd feel it %ad and ta#e it
w$ong! " told 6o the sa'e thing!'
'6oB' " felt an u$ge to step %etween the two pu'ps and ove$ the island so " could g$a% hi' %y the
a$'! '(hat's 6o got to do with thisB'
He loo#ed at 'e cautiously and long! 'She didn't tell youB'
'(hat a$e you tal#ing a%outB'
'She thought she 'ight w$ite so'ething a%out Sa$a and the Red*Tops fo$ one of the local pape$s!'
.ill was pic#ing his wo$ds ve$y slowly! " have a clea$ 'e'o$y of that, and of how hot the sun was,
%eating down on 'y nec#, and the sha$pness of ou$ shadows on the asphalt! He %egan to pu'p his
gas, and the sound of the pu'p's 'oto$ was also ve$y sha$p! '" thin# she even 'entioned ,ankee
'aga=ine! " c'd %e w$ong a%out that, %ut " don't thin# " a'!'
" was speechless! (hy would she have #ept )uiet a%out the idea to t$y he$ hand at a little local
histo$yB .ecause she 'ight have thought she was poaching on 'y te$$ito$yB That was $idiculous!
She had #nown 'e %ette$ than that ! ! ! hadn't sheB
'(hen did you have this conve$sation, .illB 2o you $e'e'%e$B'
'3oss " do,' he said! 'Sa'e day she co'e down to ta#e delive$y of those plastic owls! Only "
$aised the su%&ect, %ecause fol#s had told 'e she was as#ing a$ound!'
'0$yingB'
'" didn't say that,' he said stiffly, 'you did!'
T$ue, %ut " thought p$ying was what he 'eant! '5o on!'
'Nothing to go on a%out! " told he$ the$e we$e so$e toes he$e and the$e on the TR, sa'e as the$e
a$e anyplace, and ast he$ not to t$ead on any co$ns if she could help it! She said she unde$stood!
ay%e she did, 'ay%e she didn't! All " #now is she #ep' on as#ing )uestions! 8istenin to sto$ies
f$o' old fools with 'o$e ti'e than sense!'
'(hen was thisB'
'9all of ';G, winte$ and sp$ing of ';<! (ent all a$ound town, she did even ove$ to otton and
Ha$low + with he$ note%oo# and little tape*$eco$de$! Anyway, that's all " #now!'
" $eali=ed a stunning thingD .ill was lying! "f you'd as#ed 'e %efo$e that day, "'d have laughed
and told you .ill 2ean didn't have a lie in hi'! And he 'ust not have had 'any, %ecause he did it
%adly!
" thought of calling hi' on it, %ut to what endB " needed to thin#, and " couldn't do it he$e + 'y
'ind was $oa$ing! 5iven ti'e, that $oa$ 'ight su%side and "'d see it was $eally nothing, no %ig deal,
%ut " needed that ti'e! (hen you sta$t finding out unexpected things a%out a loved one who's %een
dead awhile, it $oc#s you! Ta#e it f$o' 'e, it does!
.ill's eyes had shifted away f$o' 'ine, %ut now they shifted %ac#! He loo#ed %oth ea$nest and
+ " could have swo$n it + a little sca$ed!
'She ast a%out little 1e$$y Auste$, and that's a good exa'ple of what " 'ean a%out steppin on so$e
toes! That's not the stuff fo$ a newspape$ sto$y o$ a 'aga=ine a$ticle! No$'al &ust snapped! No one
#nows why! "t was a te$$i%le t$agedy, senseless, and the$e's still people who could %e hu$t %y it! "n
little towns things a$e #ind of connected unde$ the su$face + '
,es, li#e ca%les you couldn't )uite see!
' + and the past dies slowe$! Sa$a and those othe$s, that's a little diffe$ent! They we$e &ust ! ! ! &ust
wande$e$s ! ! ! f$o' away! 6o could have stuc# to those fol#s and it would've %een all $ight! And say
+ fo$ all " #now, she did! .ecause " neve$ saw a single wo$d she eve$ w$ote! "f she did w$ite!'
A%out that he was telling the t$uth, " felt! .ut " #new so'ething else, #new it as su$ely as "'d
#nown attie had %een wea$ing white sho$ts when she called 'e on he$ day off! Sara and those
others were )ust wanderers from away, .ill had said, %ut he hesitated in the 'iddle of his thought,
su%stituting wanderers fo$ the wo$d which had co'e natu$ally to 'ind! Niggers was the wo$d he
hadn't said! Sara and those others were )ust niggers from away!
All at once " found 'yself thin#ing of an old sto$y %y Ray .$ad%u$y, 'a$s "s Heaven!' The fi$st
space t$avelle$s to a$s discove$ it's 5$een Town, "llinois, and all thei$ well*loved f$iends and
$elatives a$e the$e! Only the f$iends and $elatives a$e $eally alien 'onste$s, and in the night, while
the space t$avelle$s thin# they a$e sleeping in the %eds of thei$ long*dead #infol# in a place that
'ust %e heaven, they a$e slaughte$ed to the last 'an!
'.ill, you'$e su$e she was up he$e a few ti'es in the off*seasonB'
'Ayuh! 'T'wasn't &ust a few ti'es, eithe$! ight have %een a do=en ti'es o$ 'o$e! 2ay*t$ips, don't
you #now!'
'2id you eve$ see a fellow with he$B .u$ly guy, %lac# hai$B'
He thought a%out it! " t$ied not to hold 'y %$eath! At last he shoo# his head! '9ew ti'es " saw
he$, she was alone! .ut " didn't see he$ eve$y ti'e she ca'e! So'eti'es " only hea$d she'd %een on
the TR afte$ she 'us gone again! Saw he$ in 6une of ';<, headed up towa$d Halo .ay in that little ca$
a he$s! She waved, " waved %ac#! (ent down to the house late$ that evenin to see if she needed
anythin, %ut she'd gone! " didn't see he$ again! (hen she died late$ on that su''e$, 'e and '4ette
we$e so shoc#ed!'
Whate&er she was looking for' she must ne&er ha&e written any of it down( 1 would ha&e found
the manuscript(
(as that t$ue, thoughB She had 'ade 'any t$ips down he$e with no appa$ent atte'pts at
conceal'ent, on one of the' she had even %een acco'panied %y a st$ange 'an, and " had only
found out a%out these visits %y accident!
'This is ha$d to tal# a%out,' .ill said, '%ut since we've gotten sta$ted ha$d, we 'ight as well go the
$est of the way! 8ivin on the TR is li#e the way we used to sleep fou$ o$ even five in a %ed when it
was 6anua$y and t$ue cold! "f eve$yone $ests easy, you do all $ight! .ut if one pe$son gets $estless,
gets tossing and tu$ning, no one can sleep! Right now you'$e the $estless one! That's how people see
it!'
He waited to see what "'d say! (hen al'ost twenty seconds passed without a wo$d f$o' 'e
-Ha$old O%lows#i would have %een p$oud/, he shuffled his feet and went on!
'The$e a$e people in town uneasy a%out the inte$est you've ta#en in attie 2evo$e, fo$ instance!
Now "'' not sayin the$e's anythin going on %etween the two of you + although the$e's fol#s who
do say it + %ut if you want to stay on the TR you'$e 'a#in it tough on you$self!'
'(hyB'
'3o'es %ac# to what " said a wee# and a half ago! She's t$ou%le!'
'As " $ecall, .ill, you said she was in t$ou%le! And she is! "'' t$ying to help he$ out of it! The$e's
nothing going on %etween us %ut that!'
'1 see' to $ecall telling you that ax 2evo$e is nuts,' he said! '"f you 'a#e hi' 'ad, we all pay
the p$ice!' The pu'p clic#ed off and he $ac#ed it up! Then he sighed, $aised his hands, d$opped
the'! ',ou thin# this is easy fo$ 'e to sayB'
',ou thin# it's easy fo$ 'e to listen toB'
'All $ight, ayuh, we'$e in the sa'e s#iff! .ut attie 2evo$e isn't the only pe$son on the TR livin
hand*to*'outh, you #now! The$e's othe$s got thei$ woes, as well! 3an't you unde$stand thatB'
ay%e he saw that " unde$stood too 'uch and too well, %ecause his shoulde$s slu'ped!
'"f you'$e as#ing 'e to stand aside and let 2evo$e ta#e attie's %a%y without a fight, you can
fo$get it,' " said! 'And " hope that's not it! .ecause " thin# "'d have to %e )uits with a 'an who'd as#
anothe$ 'an to do so'ething li#e that!'
'" wouldn't as# it now anywise,' he said, his accent thic#ening al'ost to the point of conte'pt!
'"t'd %e too late, wouldn't itB' And then, unexpectedly, he softened! '3h$ist, 'an, "'' wo$$ied a%out
you! 8et the $est of it go hang, all $ightB Hang high whe$e the c$ows can pic# it!' He was lying
again, %ut this ti'e " didn't 'ind so 'uch, %ecause " thought he was lying to hi'self! '.ut you need
to have a ca$e! (hen " said 2evo$e was c$a=y, that was no figu$e of speech! 2o you thin# he'll
%othe$ with cou$t if cou$t can't get hi' what he wantsB 9ol#s died in those su''e$ fi$es %ac# in
:;GG! 5ood people! One $elated to 'e! They %u$ned ove$ half the godda' county and ax 2evo$e
set e'! That was his going*away p$esent to the TR! "t could neve$ %e p$oved, %ut he did it! .ac#
then he was young and %$o#e, not yet twenty and no law in his poc#et! (hat do you thin# he'd do
nowB'
He loo#ed at 'e sea$chingly! " said nothing!
.ill nodded as if " had spo#en! 'Thin# a%out it! And you $e'e'%e$ this, i#eD no 'an who didn't
ca$e fo$ you would eve$ tal# to you st$aight as " have!'
'How st$aight was that, .illB' " was faintly awa$e of so'e tou$ist wal#ing f$o' his 4olvo to the
sto$e and loo#ing at us cu$iously, and when " $eplayed the scene in 'y 'ind late$ on, " $eali=ed we
'ust have loo#ed li#e guys on the ve$ge of a fistfight! " $e'e'%e$ that " felt li#e c$ying out of
sadness and %ewilde$'ent and an inco'pletely defined sense of %et$ayal, %ut " also $e'e'%e$
%eing fu$ious with this lan#y old 'an + hi' in his shining*clean cotton unde$shi$t and his
'outhful of false teeth! So 'ay%e we were close to fighting, and " &ust didn't #now it at the ti'e!
'St$aight as " could %e,' he said, and tu$ned away to go inside and pay fo$ his gas!
'y house is haunted,' " said!
He stopped, %ac# to 'e, shoulde$s hunched as if to a%so$% a %low! Then, slowly, he tu$ned %ac#!
'Sa$a 8aughs has always %een haunted, i#e! ,ou've sti$$ed e' up! 0'$aps you should go %ac# to
2e$$y and let e' settle! That 'ight %e the %est thing!' He paused, as if $eplaying this last to see if he
ag$eed with it, then nodded! He nodded as slowly as he had tu$ned! 'Ayuh, that 'ight %e %est all
a$ound!'
(hen " got %ac# to Sa$a " called (a$d Han#ins! Then " finally 'ade that call to .onnie A'udson!
0a$t of 'e was $ooting fo$ he$ not to %e in at the t$avel agency in Augusta she co*owned, %ut she
was! Halfway th$ough 'y tal# with he$, the fax %egan to p$int out xe$oxed pages f$o' 6o's
appoint'ent calenda$s! On the fi$st one (a$d had sc$awled, 'Hope this helps!'
" didn't $ehea$se what " was going to say to .onnie7 " felt that to do so would %e a $ecipe fo$
disaste$! " told he$ that 6o had %een w$iting so'ething + 'ay%e an a$ticle, 'ay%e a se$ies of the'
+ a%out the township whe$e ou$ su''e$house was located, and that so'e of the locals had
appa$ently %een cheesed off %y he$ cu$iosity! So'e still we$e! Had she tal#ed to .onnieB 0e$haps
showed he$ an ea$ly d$aftB
'No, huh*uh!' .onnie sounded honestly su$p$ised! 'She used to show 'e he$ photos, and 'o$e
he$% sa'ples than " honestly ca$ed to see, %ut she neve$ showed 'e anything she was w$iting! "n
fact, " $e'e'%e$ he$ once saying that she'd decided to leave the w$iting to you and &ust + '
' + ta#e a little taste of eve$ything else, $ightB'
',es!'
" thought this was a good place to end the conve$sation, %ut the guys in the %ase'ent see'ed to
have othe$ ideas! '(as she seeing anyone, .onnieB'
Silence f$o' the othe$ end! (ith a hand that see'ed at least fou$ 'iles down 'y a$', " pluc#ed
the fax sheets out of the %as#et! Ten of the' + Nove'%e$ of :;;G to August of :;;<! 6ottings
eve$ywhe$e in 6o's neat hand! Had we even had a fax %efo$e she diedB " couldn't $e'e'%e$! The$e
was so fuc#ing 'uch " couldn't $e'e'%e$!
'.onnieB "f you #now so'ething, please tell 'e! 6o's dead, %ut "'' not! " can fo$give he$ if " have
to, %ut " can't fo$give what " don't unde$st + '
'"'' so$$y,' she said, and gave a ne$vous little laugh! '"t's &ust that " didn't unde$stand at fi$st!
KSeeing anyone,K that was &ust so ! ! ! so fo$eign to 6o ! ! ! the 6o " #new ! ! ! that " couldn't figu$e out
what you we$e tal#ing a%out! " thought 'ay%e you 'eant a sh$in#, %ut you didn't, did youB ,ou
'eant seeing so'eone li#e seeing a guy! A %oyf$iend!'
'That's what " 'eant!' Thu'%ing th$ough the faxed calenda$ sheets now, 'y hand not )uite %ac#
to its p$ope$ distance f$o' 'y eyes %ut getting the$e, getting the$e! " felt $elief at the honest
%ewilde$'ent in .onnie's voice, %ut not as 'uch as "'d expected! .ecause "'d #nown! " hadn't even
needed the wo'an in the old 6erry #ason episode to put in he$ two cents, not $eally! "t was 6o we
we$e tal#ing a%out, afte$ all! 0o!
'i#e,' .onnie was saying, ve$y softly, as if " 'ight %e c$a=y, 'she loved you! She loved you!
',es! " suppose she did!' The calenda$ pages showed how %usy 'y wife had %een! How
p$oductive! S*1s of aine ! ! ! the soup #itchens! (o'Shel, a county*to*county netwo$# of shelte$s
fo$ %atte$ed wo'en! TeenShel! 9$iends of e! 8i%es! She had %een at two o$ th$ee 'eetings a
'onth + two o$ th$ee a week at so'e points + and "'d %a$ely noticed! " had %een too %usy with 'y
wo'en in &eopa$dy! '" loved he$ too, .onnie, %ut she was up to so'ething in the last ten 'onths of
he$ life! She didn't give you any hint of what it 'ight have %een when you we$e $iding to 'eetings
of the Soup 1itchens %oa$d o$ the 9$iends of aine 8i%$a$iesB'
Silence f$o' the othe$ end!
'.onnieB'
" too# the phone away f$o' 'y ea$ to see if the $ed 8O( .ATTER, light was on, and it s)uaw#ed
'y na'e! " put it %ac#!
'.onnie, what is itB'
'The$e were no long d$ives those last nine o$ ten 'onths! (e tal#ed on the phone and " $e'e'%e$
once we had lunch in (ate$ville, %ut the$e were no long d$ives! She )uit!'
" thu'%ed th$ough the fax*sheets again! eetings noted eve$ywhe$e in 6o's neat hand, Soup
1itchens of aine a'ong the'!
'" don't unde$stand! She )uit the Soup 1itchens %oa$dB'
Anothe$ 'o'ent of silence! Then, spea#ing ca$efullyD 'No, i#e! She )uit all of the'! She
finished with (o'an Shelte$s and Teen Shelte$s at the end of ';G + he$ te$' was up then! The
othe$ two, Soup 1itchens and 9$iends of aine 8i%$a$ies ! ! ! she $esigned in Octo%e$ o$ Nove'%e$
of :;;G!'
eetings noted on all the sheets (a$d had sent 'e! 2o=ens of the'! eetings in :;;G, 'eetings
in :;;<! eetings of %oa$ds to which she'd no longe$ %elonged! She had %een down he$e! On all
those supposed 'eeting*days, 6o had %een on the TR! " would have %et 'y life on it!
.ut whyB
3HA0TER SE4ENTEEN
2evo$e was 'ad, all $ight, 'ad as a hatte$, and he couldn't have caught 'e at a wo$se, wea#e$,
'o$e te$$ified 'o'ent! And " thin# that eve$ything f$o' that 'o'ent on was al'ost p$e*o$dained!
9$o' the$e to the te$$i%le sto$' they still tal# a%out in this pa$t of the wo$ld, it all ca'e down li#e a
$oc#slide!
" felt fine the $est of 9$iday afte$noon + 'y tal# with .onnie left a lot of )uestions unanswe$ed,
%ut it had %een a tonic &ust the sa'e! " 'ade a vegeta%le sti$*f$y -atone'ent fo$ 'y latest plunge
into the 9$y*O*8ato$ at the 4illage 3afe/ and ate it while " watched the evening news! On the othe$
side of the la#e the sun was sliding down towa$d the 'ountains and flooding the living $oo' with
gold! (hen To' .$o#aw closed up shop, " decided to ta#e a wal# no$th along The St$eet + "'d go
as fa$ as " could and still %e assu$ed of getting ho'e %y da$#, and as " went "'d thin# a%out the
things .ill 2ean and .onnie A'udson had told 'e! "'d thin# a%out the' the way " so'eti'es
wal#ed and thought a%out plot*snags in whateve$ " was wo$#ing on!
" wal#ed down the $ail$oad*tie steps, still feeling pe$fectly fine -confused, %ut fine/, sta$ted off
along The St$eet, then paused to loo# at the 5$een 8ady! Even with the evening sun shining fully
upon he$, it was ha$d to see he$ fo$ what she actually was + &ust a %i$ch t$ee with a half*dead pine
standing %ehind it, one %$anch of the latte$ 'a#ing a pointing a$'! "t was as if the 5$een 8ady we$e
saying go no$th, young 'an, go no$th! (ell, " wasn't exactly young, %ut " could go no$th, all $ight!
9o$ awhile, at least!
,et " stood a 'o'ent longe$, uneasily studying the face " could see in the %ushes, not li#ing the
way the little sha#e of %$ee=e see'ed to 'a#e what was nea$ly a 'outh snee$ and g$in! " thin#
pe$haps " sta$ted to feel a little %ad then, was too p$eoccupied to notice it! " set off no$th, wonde$ing
what, exactly, 6o 'ight have w$itten ! ! ! fo$ %y then " was sta$ting to %elieve she 'ight have w$itten
so'ething, afte$ all! (hy else had " found 'y old typew$ite$ in he$ studioB " would go th$ough the
place, " decided! " would go th$ough it ca$efully and ! ! !
help i' d$own
The voice ca'e f$o' the woods, the wate$, f$o' 'yself! A wave of lightheadedness passed
th$ough 'y thoughts, lifting and scatte$ing the' li#e leaves in a %$ee=e! " stopped! All at once " had
neve$ felt so %ad, so blighted, in 'y life! y chest was tight! y sto'ach folded in on itself li#e a
cold flowe$! y eyes filled with chilly wate$ that was nothing li#e tea$s, and " #new what was
co'ing! No, " t$ied to say, %ut the wo$d wouldn't co'e out!
y 'outh filled with the cold taste of la#ewate$ instead, all those da$# 'ine$als, and suddenly
the t$ees we$e shi''e$ing %efo$e 'y eyes as if " we$e loo#ing up at the' th$ough clea$ li)uid, and
the p$essu$e on 'y chest had %eco'e d$eadfully locali=ed and ta#en the shapes of hands! They
we$e holding 'e down!
'(on't it stop doing thatB' so'eone as#ed + al'ost c$ied! The$e was no one on The St$eet %ut
'e, yet " hea$d that voice clea$ly! '(on't it eve$ stop doing thatB'
(hat ca'e next was no oute$ voice %ut alien thoughts in 'y own head! They %eat against the
walls of 'y s#ull li#e 'oths t$apped inside a light*fixtu$e ! ! ! o$ inside a 6apanese lante$n!
help 1'm drown
help 1'm drown
blue*cap man say git me
blue*cap man say dassn't let me ramble
help 1'm drown
lost my berries they on the path
he holdin me
he face shimmer n look bad
lemme up lemme up E sweet 0esus le''e up
o$en free allee allee o$en free? 6%4AS4
2F4N /R44 you go on and stop now A%%44 2F4N /R44
she scream my name
she scream it so %2;D
" %ent fo$wa$d in an utte$ panic, opened 'y 'outh, and f$o' 'y gaping, st$aining 'outh the$e
pou$ed a cold flood of ! ! !
Nothing at all!
The ho$$o$ of it passed and yet it didn't pass! " still felt te$$i%ly sic# to 'y sto'ach, as if " had
eaten so'ething to which 'y %ody had ta#en a violent offense, so'e #ind of ant*powde$ o$ 'ay%e
a #ille$ 'ush$oo', the #ind 6o's fungi guides pictu$ed inside $ed %o$de$s! " stagge$ed fo$wa$d half a
do=en steps, gagging d$yly f$o' a th$oat which still %elieved it was wet! The$e was anothe$ %i$ch
whe$e the %an# d$opped to the la#e, a$ching its white %elly g$acefully ove$ the wate$ as if to see its
$eflection %y evening's flatte$ing light! " g$a%%ed it li#e a d$un# g$a%%ing a la'p*post!
The p$essu$e in 'y chest %egan to ease, %ut it left an ache as $eal as $ain! " hung against the t$ee,
hea$t flutte$ing, and suddenly " %eca'e awa$e that so'ething stan# + an evil, polluted s'ell wo$se
than a clogged septic pool which has si''e$ed all su''e$ unde$ the %la=ing sun! (ith it was a
sense of so'e hideous p$esence giving off that odo$, so'ething which should have %een dead and
wasn't!
2h stop' allee allee o$en free' 1'll do anything only stop, " t$ied to say, and still nothing ca'e out!
Then it was gone! " could s'ell nothing %ut the la#e and the woods ! ! ! %ut " could see so'ethingD a
%oy in the la#e, a little d$owned da$# %oy lying on his %ac#! His chee#s we$e puffed out! His 'outh
hung slac#ly open! His eyes we$e as white as the eyes of a statue!
y 'outh filled with the un'e$ciful i$on of the la#e again! Help 'e, le''e up, help "'' d$own!
" leaned out, sc$ea'ing inside 'y head, sc$ea'ing down at the dead face, and " $eali=ed 1 was
looking up at myself, loo#ing up th$ough the $ose*shi''e$ of sunset wate$ at a white 'an in %lue
&eans and a yellow polo shi$t holding onto a t$e'%ling, %i$ch and t$ying to sc$ea', his li)uid face in
'otion, his eyes 'o'enta$ily %lotted out %y the passage of a s'all pe$ch cou$sing afte$ a tasty %ug,
" was %oth the da$# %oy and the white 'an, d$owned in the wate$ and d$owning in the ai$, is this
$ight, is this what's happening, tap once fo$ yes twice fo$ no!
" $etched nothing %ut a single $unne$ of spit, and, i'possi%ly, a fish &u'ped at it! They'll &u'p at
al'ost anything at sunset7 so'ething in the dying light 'ust 'a#e the' c$a=y! The fish hit the
wate$ again a%out seven feet f$o' the %an#, span#ing out a ci$cula$ silve$ $ipple, and it was gone +
the taste in 'y 'outh, the ho$$i%le s'ell, the shi''e$ing d$owned face of the Neg$o child + a
Neg$o, that was how he would have thought of hi'self whose na'e had al'ost su$ely %een
Tidwell!
" loo#ed to 'y $ight and saw a g$ay fo$ehead of $oc# po#ing out of the 'ulch! " thought, "here'
right there, and as if in confi$'ation, that ho$$i%le put$escent s'ell puffed at 'e again, see'ingly
f$o' the g$ound!
" closed 'y eyes, still hanging onto the %i$ch fo$ dea$ life, feeling wea# and sic# and ill, and that
was when ax 2evo$e, that 'ad'an, spo#e f$o' %ehind 'e! 'Say the$e, who$e'aste$, whe$e's
you$ who$eB'
" tu$ned and the$e he was, with Rogette (hit'o$e %y his side! "t was the only ti'e " eve$ 'et
hi', %ut once was enough! .elieve 'e, once was 'o$e than enough!
His wheelchai$ ha$dly loo#ed li#e a wheelchai$ at all! (hat it loo#ed li#e was a 'oto$cycle sideca$
c$ossed with a luna$ lande$! Half a do=en ch$o'e wheels $an along %oth sides! .igge$ wheels +
fou$ of the', " thin# + $an in a $ow ac$oss the %ac#! None loo#ed to %e exactly on the sa'e level,
and " $eali=ed each was tied into its own suspension*%ed! 2evo$e would have a s'ooth $ide ove$
g$ound a lot $oughe$ than The St$eet! A%ove the %ac# wheels was an enclosed engine co'pa$t'ent!
Hiding 2evo$e's legs was a fi%e$glass nacelle, %lac# with $ed pinst$iping, that would not have
loo#ed out of place on a $acing ca$! "'planted in the cente$ of it was a gadget that loo#ed li#e 'y
2SS satellite dish ! ! ! so'e so$t of co'pute$i=ed avoidance syste', " guessed! ay%e even an
autopilot! The a$'$ests we$e wide and cove$ed with cont$ols! Holste$ed on the left side of this
'achine was a g$een oxygen tan# fou$ feet long! A hose went to a clea$ plastic acco$dion tu%e7 the
acco$dion tu%e led to a 'as# which $ested in 2evo$e's lap! "t 'ade 'e thin# of the old guy's
Steno'as#! 3o'ing on the heels of what had &ust happened, " 'ight have conside$ed this To'
3lancyish vehicle a hallucination, except fo$ the %u'pe$*stic#e$ on the nacelle, %elow the dish! "
.8EE2 2O25ER .8UE, it said!
This evening the wo'an " had seen outside The Sunset .a$ at (a$$ington's was wea$ing a white
%louse with long sleeves and %lac# pants so tape$ed they 'ade he$ legs loo# li#e sheathed swo$ds!
He$ na$$ow face and hollow chee#s 'ade he$ $ese'%le Edva$d unch's sc$ea'e$ 'o$e than eve$!
He$ white hai$ hung a$ound he$ face in a lan# cowl! He$ lips we$e painted so %$ightly $ed she
see'ed to %e %leeding f$o' the 'outh!
She was old and she was ugly, %ut she was a p$i=e co'pa$ed to attie's fathe$*in*law! Sc$awny,
%lue*lipped, the s#in a$ound his eyes and the co$ne$s of his 'outh a da$# exploded pu$ple, he
loo#ed li#e so'ething an a$cheologist 'ight find in the %u$ial $oo' of a py$a'id, su$$ounded %y
his stuffed wives and pets, %edi=ened with his favo$ite &ewels! A few wisps of white hai$ still clung
to his scaly s#ull7 'o$e tufts sp$ang f$o' eno$'ous ea$s which see'ed to have 'elted li#e wax
sculptu$es left out in the sun! He was wea$ing white cotton pants and a %illowy %lue shi$t! Add a
little %lac# %e$et and he would have loo#ed li#e a 9$ench a$tist f$o' the nineteenth centu$y at the
end of a ve$y long life!
Ac$oss his lap was a cane of so'e %lac# wood! Snugged ove$ the end was a %$ight $ed %icycle
g$ip! The finge$s g$asping it loo#ed powe$ful, %ut they we$e going as %lac# as the cane itself! His
ci$culation was failing, and " couldn't i'agine what his feet and his lowe$ legs 'ust loo# li#e!
'(ho$e $un off and left you, has sheB'
" t$ied to say so'ething! A c$oa# ca'e out of 'y 'outh, nothing 'o$e! " was still holding the
%i$ch! " let go of it and t$ied to st$aighten up, %ut 'y legs we$e still wea# and " had to g$a% it again!
He nudged a silve$ toggle switch and the chai$ ca'e ten feet close$, halving the distance %etween
us! The sound it 'ade was a sil#y whispe$7 watching it was li#e watching an evil 'agic ca$pet! "ts
'any wheels $ose and fell independent of one anothe$ and flashed in the declining sun, which had
%egun to ta#e on a $eddish cast! And as he ca'e close$, " felt the sense of the 'an! His %ody was
$otting out f$o' unde$ hi', %ut the fo$ce a$ound hi' was undenia%le and daunting, li#e an
elect$ical sto$'! The wo'an paced %eside hi', $ega$ding 'e with silent a'use'ent! He$ eyes we$e
pin#ish! " assu'ed then that they we$e g$ay and had pic#ed up a %it of the co'ing sunset, %ut "
thin# now she was an al%ino!
'" always li#ed a who$e,' he said! He d$ew the wo$d out, 'a#ing it horrrrrrr! '2idn't ", RogetteB'
',es, si$,' she said! '"n thei$ place!'
'So'eti'es thei$ place was on 'y faceC' he c$ied with a #ind of insane pe$#iness, as if she had
cont$adicted hi'! '(he$e is she, young 'anB (hose face is she sitting on $ight nowB " wonde$!
That s'a$t lawye$ you foundB Oh, " #now all a%out hi', $ight down to the Unsatisfacto$y 3onduct
he got in the thi$d g$ade! " 'a#e it 'y %usiness to #now things! "t's the sec$et of 'y success!'
(ith an eno$'ous effo$t, " st$aightened up! '(hat a$e you doing he$eB'
'Having a constitutional, sa'e as you! And no law against it, is the$eB
The St$eet %elongs to anyone who wants to use it! ,ou haven't %een he$e long, young
who$e'aste$, %ut su$ely you've %een he$e long enough to #now that! "t's ou$ ve$sion of the town
co''on, whe$e good pups and vile dogs 'ay wal# side*%y*side!'
Once 'o$e using the hand not %unched a$ound the $ed %icycle g$ip, he pic#ed up the oxygen
'as#, suc#ed deeply, then d$opped it %ac# in his lap! He g$inned + an unspea#a%le g$in of
co'plicity that $evealed gu's the colo$ of iodine!
'She goodB That little horrrrrr of you$sB She 'ust %e good to have #ept 'y son p$isone$ in that
nasty little t$aile$ whe$e she lives! And then along co'es you even %efo$e the wo$'s had finished
with 'y %oy's eyes! 2oes he$ cunt suckB'
'Shut up!'
Rogette (hit'o$e th$ew %ac# he$ head and laughed! The sound was li#e the sc$ea' of a $a%%it
caught in an owl's talons, and 'y flesh c$awled! " had an idea she was as c$a=y as he was! Than#
5od they we$e old! ',ou st$uc# a ne$ve the$e, ax,' she said!
'(hat do you wantB' " too# a %$eath ! ! ! and caught a taste of that put$escence again! " gagged! "
didn't want to, %ut " couldn't help it!
2evo$e st$aightened in his chai$ and %$eathed deeply, as if to 'oc# 'e! "n that 'o'ent he
loo#ed li#e Ro%e$t 2uvall in Apocalypse Now, st$iding along the %each and telling the wo$ld how
'uch he loved the s'ell of napal' in the 'o$ning! His g$in widened! '8ovely place, &ust he$e, isn't
itB A co=y spot to stop and thin#, wouldn't you sayB' He loo#ed a$ound! 'This is whe$e it happened,
all $ight! Ayuh!'
'(he$e the %oy d$owned!'
" thought (hit'o$e's s'ile loo#ed 'o'enta$ily uneasy at that! 2evo$e didn't! He clutched fo$
his t$anslucent oxygen 'as# with an old 'an's ove$wide g$ip, finge$s that g$ope $athe$ than $each! "
could see little %u%%les of 'ucus clinging to the inside! He suc#ed deep again, put it down again!
'Thi$ty o$ 'o$e fol#s have d$owned in this la#e, and that's &ust the ones they #now a%out,' he
said! '(hat's one %oy, 'o$e o$ lessB'
'" don't get it! (e$e the$e two Tidwell %oys who died he$eB The one that got %lood*poisoning and
the one + '
'2o you ca$e a%out you$ soul, $! NoonanB ,ou$ i''o$tal soulB 5od's %utte$fly caught in a
cocoon of flesh that will soon stin# li#e 'ineB'
" said nothing! The st$angeness of what had happened %efo$e he a$$ived was passing! (hat
$eplaced it was his inc$edi%le pe$sonal 'agnetis'! " have neve$ in 'y life felt so 'uch $aw fo$ce!
The$e was nothing supe$natu$al a%out it, eithe$, and raw is exactly the $ight wo$d! " 'ight have $un!
Unde$ othe$ ci$cu'stances, "'' su$e " would have! "t ce$tainly wasn't %$ave$y that #ept 'e whe$e "
was7 'y legs still felt $u%%e$y, and " was af$aid " 'ight fall down!
'"'' going to give you one chance to save you$ soul,' 2evo$e said! He $aised a %ony finge$ to
illust$ate the concept of one! '5o away, 'y fine who$e'aste$! Right now, in the clothes you stand
up in! 2on't %othe$ to pac# a %ag, don't even stop to 'a#e su$e you tu$ned off the stove%u$ne$s! 5o!
8eave the who$e and leave the who$elet!'
'8eave the' to you!'
'Ayuh, to 'e! "'ll do the things that need to %e done! Souls a$e fo$ li%e$al a$ts 'a&o$s, Noonan! "
was an enginee$!'
'5o fuc# you$self!'
Rogette (hit'o$e 'ade that sc$ea'ing*$a%%it sound again! The old 'an sat in his chai$, head
lowe$ed, g$inning sallowly up at 'e and loo#ing li#e so'ething $aised f$o' the dead! 'A$e you su$e
you want to %e the one, NoonanB "t doesn't 'atte$ to he$, you #now + you o$ 'e, it's all the sa'e
to he$!'
'" don't #now what you'$e tal#ing a%out!'
" d$ew anothe$ deep %$eath, and this ti'e the ai$ tasted all $ight! " too# a step away f$o' the
%i$ch, and 'y legs we$e all $ight, too! 'And " don't ca$e! ,ou'$e neve$ getting 1y$a! Neve$ in what
$e'ains of you$ scaly life! "'ll neve$ see that happen!'
'0al, you'll see plenty,' 2evo$e said, g$inning and showing 'e his iodine gu's! '.efo$e 6uly's
done, you'll li#ely have seen so 'uch you'll wish you'd $ipped the living eyes out of you$ head in
6une!'
'"'' going ho'e! 8et 'e pass!'
'5o ho'e then, how could " stop youB' he as#ed! 'The St$eet %elongs to eve$yone!' He g$oped the
oxygen 'as# out of his lap again and too# anothe$ healthy pull! He d$opped it into his lap and
settled his left hand on the a$' of his .uc# Roge$s wheelchai$!
" stepped towa$d hi', and al'ost %efo$e " #new what was happening, he $an the wheelchai$ at
'e! He could have hit 'e and hu$t 'e )uite %adly + %$o#en one o$ %oth of 'y legs, " don't dou%t
+ %ut he stopped &ust sho$t! " leaped %ac#, %ut only %ecause he allowed 'e to! " was awa$e that
(hit'o$e was laughing again!
'(hat's the 'atte$, NoonanB'
'5et out of 'y way! "'' wa$ning you!'
'(ho$e 'ade you &u'py, has sheB'
" sta$ted to 'y left, 'eaning to go %y hi' on that side, %ut in a flash he had tu$ned the chai$, shot
it fo$wa$d, and cut 'e off!
'5et out of the TR, Noonan! "'' giving you good ad + ' " %$o#e to the $ight, this ti'e on the la#e
side, and would have slipped %y hi' )uite neatly except fo$ the fist, ve$y s'all and ha$d, that
ha''e$ed the left side of 'y face! The white*hai$ed %itch was wea$ing a $ing, and the stone cut 'e
%ehind the ea$! " felt the sting and the wa$' flow of %lood! " pivoted, stuc# out %oth hands, and
pushed he$! She fell to the needle*ca$peted path with a s)uaw# of su$p$ised out$age! At the next
instant so'ething clouted 'e on the %ac# of the head! A 'o'enta$y o$ange glow lit up 'y sight! "
stagge$ed %ac#wa$d in what felt li#e slow 'otion, waving 'y a$'s, and 2evo$e ca'e into view
again! He was slued a$ound in his wheelchai$, scaly head th$ust fo$wa$d, the cane he'd hit 'e with
still up$aised! "f he had %een ten yea$s younge$, " %elieve he would have f$actu$ed 'y s#ull instead
of &ust c$eating that 'o'enta$y o$ange light!
" $an into 'y old f$iend the %i$ch t$ee! " $aised 'y hand to 'y ea$ and loo#ed un%elievingly at the
%lood on the tips of 'y finge$s! y head ached f$o' the %low he had fetched 'e!
(hit'o$e was st$uggling to he$ feet, %$ushing pine needles f$o' he$ slac#s and loo#ing at 'e
with a fu$ious s'ile! He$ chee#s had filled in with a thin pin# flush! He$ too*$ed lips we$e pulled
%ac# to show s'all teeth! "n the light of the setting sun he$ eyes loo#ed as if they we$e %u$ning!
'5et out of 'y way,' " said, %ut 'y voice sounded s'all and wea#!
'No,' 2evo$e said, and laid the %lac# %a$$el of his cane on the nacelle that cu$ved ove$ the f$ont of
his chai$! Now " could see the little %oy who had %een dete$'ined to have the sled no 'atte$ how
%adly he cut his hands getting it! " could see hi' ve$y clea$ly! 'No, you who$e*fuc#ing sissy! "
won't!'
He shoved the silve$ toggle switch again and the wheelchai$ $ushed silently at 'e! "f " had stayed
whe$e " was, he would have $un 'e th$ough with his cane as su$ely as any evil du#e was eve$ $un
th$ough in an Alexand$e 2u'as sto$y! He p$o%a%ly would have c$ushed the f$agile %ones in his
$ight hand and to$n his $ight a$' clean out of its soc#et in the collision, %ut this 'an had neve$
ca$ed a%out such things7 he left cost*counting to the little people! "f " had hesitated out of shoc# o$
inc$edulity, he would have #illed 'e, "'' su$e of it! "nstead, " $olled to 'y left! y snea#e$s slid on
the needle*slippe$y e'%an#'ent fo$ a 'o'ent! Then they lost contact with the ea$th and " was
falling!
" hit the wate$ aw#wa$dly and 'uch too close to the %an#! y left foot st$uc# a su%'e$ged $oot and
twisted! The pain was huge, so'ething that felt li#e a thunde$clap sounds! " opened 'y 'outh to
sc$ea' and the la#e pou$ed in + that cold 'etallic da$# taste, this ti'e fo$ $eal! " coughed it out
and snee=ed it out and flounde$ed away f$o' whe$e " had landed, thin#ing "he boy' the dead boy's
down here' what if he reaches up and grabs me?
" tu$ned ove$ on 'y %ac#, still flailing and coughing, ve$y awa$e of 'y &eans clinging cla''ily
to 'y legs and c$otch, thin#ing a%su$dly a%out 'y wallet + " didn't ca$e a%out the c$edit ca$ds o$
d$ive$'s license, %ut " had two good snapshots of 6o in the$e, and they would %e $uined!
2evo$e had al'ost $un hi'self ove$ the e'%an#'ent, " saw, and fo$ a 'o'ent " thought he still
'ight go! The f$ont of his chai$ &utted ove$ the place whe$e " had fallen -" could see the sho$t t$ac#s
of 'y snea#e$s &ust to the left of the %itch's pa$tially exposed $oots/, and although the fo$wa$d
wheels we$e still g$ounded, the c$u'%ly ea$th was $unning out f$o' %eneath the' in d$y little
avalanches that $olled down the slope and pit*a*patted into the wate$, c$eating inte$loc#ing $ipple
patte$ns! (hit'o$e was clinging to the %ac# of the chai$, yan#ing on it, %ut it was 'uch too heavy
fo$ he$7 if 2evo$e was to %e saved, he would have to save hi'self! Standing waist*deep in the la#e
with 'y clothes floating a$ound 'e, " $ooted fo$ hi' to go ove$!
The pu$plish claw of his left hand $ecaptu$ed the silve$ toggle switch afte$ seve$al atte'pts! One
finge$ hoo#ed it %ac#wa$d, and the chai$ $eve$sed away f$o' the e'%an#'ent with a final showe$
of stones and di$t! (hit'o$e leaped p$an#ishly to one side to #eep he$ feet f$o' %eing $un ove$!
2evo$e fiddled so'e 'o$e with his cont$ols, tu$ned the chai$ to face 'e whe$e " stood in the
wate$, so'e seven feet out f$o' the ove$hanging %i$ch, and then nudged the chai$ fo$wa$d until he
was on the edge of The St$eet %ut safely away f$o' the d$op off! (hit'o$e had tu$ned away f$o'
us enti$ely7 she was %ent ove$ with he$ %utt po#ing in 'y di$ection! "f " thought a%out he$ at all, and
" can't $e'e'%e$ that " did, " suppose " thought she was getting he$ %$eath %ac#!
2evo$e appea$ed to %e in the %est shape of the th$ee of us, not even needing a hit f$o' the
oxygen 'as# sitting in his lap! The late light was full in his face, 'a#ing hi' loo# li#e a half*$otted
&ac#*o'*lante$n which has %een soa#ed with gas and set on fi$e!
'En&oying you$ swi'B' he as#ed, and laughed!
" loo#ed a$ound, hoping to see a st$olling couple o$ pe$haps a fishe$'an loo#ing fo$ a place
whe$e he could wet his line one 'o$e ti'e %efo$e da$# ! ! ! and yet at the sa'e ti'e " hoped "'d see
no one! " was ang$y, hu$t, and sca$ed! ost of all " was e'%a$$assed! " had %een dun#ed in the la#e
%y a 'an of eighty*five ! ! ! a 'an who showed eve$y sign of hanging a$ound and 'a#ing spo$t of
'e!
" %egan wading to 'y $ight + south, %ac# towa$d 'y house! The wate$ was a%out waist*deep,
cool and al'ost $ef$eshing now that " was used to it! y snea#e$s s)uelched ove$ $oc#s and
su%'e$ged t$ee*%$anches! The an#le "'d twisted still hu$t, %ut it was suppo$ting 'e! (hethe$ it
would continue to once " got out of the la#e was anothe$ )uestion!
2evo$e twiddled his cont$ols so'e 'o$e! The chai$ pivoted and ca'e $olling slowly along The
St$eet, #eeping pace with 'e easily!
'" didn't int$oduce you p$ope$ly to Rogette, did "B' he said! 'She was )uite an athlete in college,
you #now! Soft%all and field hoc#ey we$e he$ specialties, and she's held onto at least so'e of he$
s#ills! Rogette, de'onst$ate you$ s#ills fo$ this young 'an!'
(hit'o$e passed the slowly 'oving wheelchai$ on the left! 9o$ a 'o'ent she was %loc#ed out
%y it! (hen " could see he$ again, " could also see what she was holding! She hadn't %een %ent ove$
to get he$ %$eath!
S'iling, she st$ode to the edge of the e'%an#'ent with he$ left a$' cu$led against he$ 'id$iff,
c$adling the $oc#s she had pic#ed up f$o' the edge of the path! She selected a chun# $oughly the
si=e of a golf%all, d$ew he$ hand %ac# to he$ ea$, and th$ew it at 'e! Ha$d! "t whi==ed %y 'y left
te'ple and splashed into the wate$ %ehind 'e!
'HeyC' " shouted, 'o$e sta$tled than af$aid! Even afte$ eve$ything that had p$eceded it, " couldn't
%elieve this was happening!
'(hat's w$ong with you, RogetteB' 2evo$e as#ed chidingly! ',ou neve$ used to th$ow li#e a gi$l!
5et hi'C'
The second $oc# passed two inches ove$ 'y head! The thi$d was a potential tooth*s'ashe$! "
%atted it away with an ang$y, fea$ful shout, not noticing until late$ that it had %$uised 'y pal'! At
the 'o'ent " was only awa$e of he$ hateful, s'iling face + the face of a wo'an who has plun#ed
down two dolla$s in a ca$ny shooting*pitch and 'eans to win the %ig stuffed teddy%ea$ even if she
has to %last away all night!
And she th$ew fast! The $oc#s hailed down a$ound 'e, so'e splashing into the $uddy wate$ to
'y left o$ $ight, c$eating little geyse$s! " %egan to %ac#pedal, af$aid to tu$n and swi' fo$ it, af$aid
that she would th$ow a $eally %ig one the 'inute " did! Still, " had to get out of he$ $ange! 2evo$e,
'eanwhile, was laughing a whee=y old 'an's laugh, his w$etched face c$unched in on itself li#e the
face of a 'alicious apple*doll!
One of he$ $oc#s st$uc# 'e a ha$d, painful %low on the colla$%one and %ounced high into the ai$!
" c$ied out, and she did, tooD '.ai5'' li#e a #a$ate fighte$ who's gotten in a good #ic#!
So 'uch fo$ o$de$ly $et$eat! " tu$ned, swa' fo$ deepe$ wate$, and the %itch %$ained 'e! The fi$st
two $oc#s she th$ew afte$ " %egan to swi' see'ed to %e $ange*finde$s! The$e was a pause when "
had ti'e to thin# 1'm doing it' 1'm getting beyond her area of ! ! ! and then so'ething hit the %ac# of
'y head! " felt it and hea$d it the sa'e way + it went %2N@5, li#e so'ething you'd $ead in a
.at'an co'ic!
The su$face of the la#e went f$o' %$ight o$ange to %$ight $ed to da$# sca$let! 9aintly " could hea$
2evo$e yelling app$oval and (hit'o$e s)uealing he$ st$ange laugh! " too# in anothe$ 'outhful of
i$on*tasting wate$ and was so da=ed " had to $e'ind 'yself to spit it out, not swallow it! y feet
now felt too heavy fo$ swi''ing, and 'y godda' snea#e$s weighed a ton! " put the' down to
stand up and couldn't find the %otto' + " had gotten %eyond 'y depth! " loo#ed in towa$d the
sho$e! "t was spectacula$, %la=ing in the sunset li#e stage*scene$y lit with %$ight o$ange and $ed
gels! " was p$o%a%ly twenty feet out f$o' the sho$e now! 2evo$e and (hit'o$e we$e at the edge of
The St$eet, watching! They loo#ed li#e 2ad and o' in a 5$ant (ood painting! 2evo$e was using
the 'as# again, %ut " could see hi' g$inning inside it! (hit'o$e was g$inning, too!
o$e wate$ sloshed in 'y 'outh! " spit 'ost of it out, %ut so'e went down, 'a#ing 'e cough
and half*$etch! " sta$ted to sin# %elow the su$face and fought 'y way %ac# up, not swi''ing %ut
only splashing wildly, expending nine ti'es the ene$gy " needed to stay afloat! 0anic 'ade its fi$st
appea$ance, ni%%ling th$ough 'y da=ed %ewilde$'ent with sha$p little $at teeth! " $eali=ed " could
hea$ a high, sweet %u==ing! How 'any %lows had 'y poo$ old head ta#enB One f$o' (hit'o$e's
fist ! ! ! one f$o' 2evo$e's cane ! ! ! one $oc# ! ! ! o$ had it %een twoB
hrist' 1 couldn't remember( -et hold of yourself' for -od's sake 3 you're not going to let him
beat you this way' are you? Drown you like that little boy was drowned?
No, not if " could help it!
" t$od wate$ and $an 'y left hand down the %ac# of 'y head! Not too fa$ a%ove the nape "
encounte$ed a goose*egg that was still $ising! (hen " p$essed on it the pain 'ade 'e feel li#e
th$owing up and fainting at the sa'e ti'e! Tea$s $ose in 'y eyes and $olled down 'y chee#s! The$e
we$e only t$aces of %lood on the tips of 'y finge$s when " loo#ed at the', %ut it was ha$d to tell
a%out cuts when you we$e in the wate$!
',ou loo# li#e a woodchuc# caught out in the $ain, NoonanC' Now his voice see'ed to $oll to
whe$e " was, as if ac$oss a g$eat distance!
'9uc# youC' " called! '"'ll see you in &ail fo$ thisC'
He loo#ed at (hit'o$e! She loo#ed %ac# with an identical exp$ession, and they %oth laughed! "f
so'eone had put an U=i in 'y hands at that 'o'ent, " would have #illed the' %oth with no
hesitation and then as#ed fo$ a second clip so " could 'achine*gun the %odies!
(ith no U=i to hand, " %egan to dogpaddle south, towa$d 'y house! They paced 'e along The
St$eet, he $olling in his whispe$*)uiet wheelchai$, she wal#ing %eside hi' as sole'n as a nun and
pausing eve$y now and then to pic# up a li#ely*loo#ing $oc#!
" hadn't swu' enough to %e ti$ed, %ut " was! "t was 'ostly shoc#, " suppose! 9inally " t$ied to
d$aw a %$eath at the w$ong ti'e, swallowed 'o$e wate$, and panic#ed co'pletely! " %egan to swi'
in towa$d the sho$e, wanting to get to whe$e " could stand up! Rogette (hit'o$e %egan to fi$e $oc#s
at 'e i''ediately, fi$st using the ones she' had lined up %etween he$ left a$' and he$ 'id$iff, then
those she'd stoc#piled in 2evo$e's lap! She was wa$'ed up, she wasn't th$owing li#e a gi$l
any'o$e, and he$ ai' was deadly! Stones splashed all a$ound 'e! " %atted anothe$ away + a %ig
one that li#ely would have cut open 'y fo$ehead if it had hit + %ut he$ follow*up st$uc# 'y %icep
and to$e a long sc$atch the$e! Enough! " $olled ove$ and swa' %ac# out %eyond he$ $ange, gasping
fo$ %$eath, t$ying to #eep 'y head up in spite of the g$owing ache in the %ac# of 'y nec#!
(hen " was clea$, " t$od wate$ and loo#ed in at the'! (hit'o$e had co'e all the way to the edge
of the e'%an#'ent, wanting to get eve$y foot of distance she could! Hell, eve$y da'ned inch!
2evo$e was pa$#ed %ehind he$ in his wheelchai$! They we$e %oth still g$inning, and now thei$ faces
we$e as $ed as the faces of i'ps in hell! Red s#y at night, sailo$'s delight! Anothe$ twenty 'inutes
and it would %e getting da$#! 3ould " #eep 'y head a%ove wate$ fo$ anothe$ twenty 'inutesB "
thought so, if " didn't panic again, %ut not 'uch longe$! " thought of d$owning in the da$#, loo#ing
up and seeing 4enus &ust %efo$e " went unde$ fo$ the last ti'e, and the panic*$at slashed 'e with its
teeth again! The panic*$at was wo$se than Rogette and he$ $oc#s, 'uch wo$se!
ay%e not wo$se than 2evo$e!
" loo#ed %oth ways along the la#ef$ont, chec#ing The St$eet whe$eve$ it wove out of the t$ees fo$
a do=en feet o$ a do=en ya$ds! " didn't ca$e a%out %eing e'%a$$assed any'o$e, %ut " saw no one!
2ea$ 5od, whe$e was eve$y%odyB 5one to the ountain 4iew in 9$ye%u$g fo$ pi==a, o$ the
4illage 3afe fo$ 'il#sha#esB
'(hat do you wantB' " called in to 2evo$e! '2o you want 'e to tell you "'ll %utt out of you$
%usinessB O#ay, "'ll %utt outC'
He laughed!
(ell, " hadn't expected it to wo$#! Even if "'d %een since$e a%out it, he wouldn't have %elieved
'e!
'(e &ust want to see how long you can swi',' (hit'o$e said, and th$ew anothe$ $oc# + *a long,
la=y toss that fell a%out five feet sho$t of whe$e " was!
"hey mean to kill me, " thought! "hey really do(
,es! And what was 'o$e, they 'ight well get away with it! A c$a=y idea, %oth plausi%le and
i'plausi%le at the sa'e ti'e, $ose in 'y 'ind! " could see Rogette (hit'o$e tac#ing a notice to
the cOUN"T, 2O"N'S %oa$d outside the 8a#eview 5ene$al Sto$e!
TO THE MARTIANS OF TR-90, GREETINGS!
Mr, MAXWELL DEVORE, everyone's !vor"#e M!r#"!n,
$"%% &"ve e!'( res")en# o #(e TR ONE H*NDRED
DOLLARS " no one $"%% +se T(e S#ree# on FRIDA,
EVENING, THE -.#( OF /*L,, 0e#$een #(e (o+rs o
SEVEN !n) NINE 12M2 3ee4 o+r 'S*MMER FRIENDS'
!$!y, #oo! An) re5e50er6 GOOD MARTIANS !re %"7e
GOOD MON3E,S6 #(ey SEE no ev"%, HEAR no ev"%,
!n) S1EA3 no ev"%!
" couldn't $eally %elieve it, not even in 'y cu$$ent situation ! ! ! and yet " al'ost could! At the
ve$y least " had to g$ant hi' the luc# of the devil!
Ti$ed! y snea#e$s heavie$ than eve$! " t$ied to push one of the' off and succeeded only in
ta#ing in anothe$ 'outhful of la#ewate$! They stood watching 'e, 2evo$e occasionally pic#ing the
'as# up f$o' his lap and having a $evivifying suc#!
" couldn't wait until da$#! The sun exits in a hu$$y he$e in weste$n aine + as it does, " guess, in
'ountain count$y eve$ywhe$e + %ut the twilights a$e long and linge$ing! .y the ti'e it got da$#
enough in the west to 'ove without %eing seen, the 'oon would have $isen in the east!
" found 'yself i'agining 'y o%itua$y in the New ,ork "imes, the headline $eading 0O0U8AR
ROANT"3 SUS0ENSE NO4E8"ST 2RO(NS "N A"NE! 2e%$a (einstoc# would p$ovide the' with the
autho$ photo f$o' the fo$thco'ing .elen's 6romise! Ha$old O%lows#i would say all the $ight
things, and he'd also $e'e'%e$ to put a 'odest -%ut not tiny/ death notice in 6ublishers Weekly! He
would go half*and*half with 0utna' on it, and +
" san#, swallowed 'o$e wate$, and spat it out! " %egan pu''elling the la#e again and fo$ced
'yself to stop! 9$o' the sho$e, " could hea$ Rogette (hit'o$e's tin#ling laughte$! ,ou bitch, "
thought, you scrawny bi 3
i#e, 6o said!
He$ voice was in 'y head, %ut it wasn't the one " 'a#e when "'' i'agining he$ side of a 'ental
dialogue o$ when " &ust 'iss he$ and need to whistle he$ up fo$ awhile! As if to unde$line this,
so'ething splashed to 'y $ight, splashed ha$d! (hen " loo#ed in that di$ection " saw no fish, not
even a $ipple! (hat " saw instead was ou$ swi''ing float, ancho$ed a%out a hund$ed ya$ds away in
the sunset*colo$ed wate$!
'" can't swi' that fa$, %a%y,' " c$oa#ed!
'2id you say so'ething, NoonanB' 2evo$e called f$o' the sho$e! He cupped a 'oc#ing hand to
one of his huge waxlu'p ea$s! '3ouldn't )uite 'a#e it outC ,ou sound all out of %$eathC' o$e
tin#ling laughte$ f$o' (hit'o$e! He was 6ohnny 3a$son7 she was Ed c'ahon!
,ou can make it( 1'll help you(
The float, " $eali=ed, 'ight %e 'y only chance + the$e wasn't anothe$ one on this pa$t of the
sho$e, and it was at least ten ya$ds %eyond (hit'o$e's longest $oc#shot so fa$! " %egan to dogpaddle
in that di$ection, 'y a$'s now as leaden as 'y feet! Each ti'e " felt 'y head on the ve$ge of going
unde$ " paused, t$eading wate$, telling 'yself to ta#e it easy, " was in p$etty good shape and doing
o#ay, telling 'yself that if " didn't panic "'d %e all $ight! The old %itch and the even olde$ %asta$d
$esu'ed pacing 'e, %ut they saw whe$e " was headed and the laughte$ stopped! So did the taunts!
9o$ a long ti'e the swi''ing float see'ed to d$aw no close$! " told 'yself that was &ust %ecause
the light was fading, the colo$ of the wate$ d$aining f$o' $ed to pu$ple to a nea$*%lac# that was the
colo$ of 2evo$e's gu's, %ut " was a%le to 'uste$ less and less conviction fo$ this idea as 'y %$eath
sho$tened and 'y a$'s g$ew heavie$!
(hen " was still thi$ty ya$ds away a c$a'p st$uc# 'y left leg! " $olled sideways li#e a swa'ped
sail%oat, t$ying to $each the %unched 'uscle! o$e wate$ pou$ed down 'y th$oat! " t$ied to cough it
out, then $etched and went unde$ with 'y sto'ach still t$ying to heave and 'y finge$s still loo#ing
fo$ the #notted place a%ove the #nee!
1'm really drowning, " thought, st$angely cal' now that it was happening! "his is how it happens'
this is it!
Then " felt a hand sei=e 'e %y the nape of the nec#! The pain of having 'y hai$ yan#ed %$ought
'e %ac# to $eality in a flash + it was %ette$ than an epineph$ine in&ection! " felt anothe$ hand cla'p
a$ound 'y left leg7 the$e was a %$ief %ut te$$ific sense of heat! The c$a'p let go and " %$o#e the
su$face swi''ing + really swi''ing this ti'e, not &ust dog*paddling, and in what see'ed li#e
seconds " was clinging to the ladde$ on the side of the float, %$eathing in g$eat, snatching gasps,
waiting to see if " was going to %e all $ight o$ if 'y hea$t was going to detonate in 'y chest li#e a
hand g$enade! At last 'y lungs sta$ted to ove$co'e 'y oxygen de%t, and eve$ything %egan to cal'
down! " gave it anothe$ 'inute, then cli'%ed out of the wate$ and into what was now the ashes of
twilight! " stood facing west fo$ a little while, %ent ove$ with 'y hands on 'y #nees, d$ipping on
the %oa$ds! Then " tu$ned a$ound, 'eaning this ti'e to flip the' not &ust a single %i$d %ut that
fa%led dou%le eagle! The$e was no one to flip it to! The St$eet was e'pty! 2evo$e and Rogette
(hit'o$e we$e gone!
#aybe they we$e gone! "'d do well to $e'e'%e$ the$e was a lot of St$eet " couldn't see! " sat c$oss*
legged on the float until the 'oon $ose, waiting and watching fo$ any 'ove'ent! Half an hou$, "
thin#! ay%e fo$ty*five 'inutes! " chec#ed 'y watch, %ut got no help the$e7 it had shipped so'e
wate$ and stopped at JDGA 0!! To the othe$ satisfactions 2evo$e owed 'e " could now add the
p$ice of one Ti'ex "ndiglo + that's IF;!;@, asshole, cough it up!
At last " cli'%ed %ac# down the ladde$, slipped into the wate$, and st$o#ed fo$ sho$e as )uietly as
" could! " was $ested, 'y head had stopped aching -although the #not a%ove the nape of 'y nec#
still th$o%%ed steadily/, and " no longe$ felt off*%alance and inc$edulous! "n so'e ways, that had
%een the wo$st of it + t$ying to cope not &ust with the appa$ition of the d$owned %oy, the flying
$oc#s, and the la#e, %ut with the pe$vasive sense that none of this could %e happening, that $ich old
softwa$e 'oguls did not t$y to d$own novelists who st$ayed into thei$ line of sight!
.ad tonight's adventu$e %een a case of si'ple st$aying into 2evo$e's view, thoughB A
coincidental 'eeting, no 'o$e than thatB (asn't it li#ely he'd %een having 'e watched eve$ since
the 9ou$th of 6uly ! ! ! 'ay%e f$o' the othe$ side of the la#e, %y people with high*powe$ed optical
e)uip'entB 0a$anoid %ullshit, " would have said ! ! ! at least " would have said it %efo$e the two of
the' al'ost san# 'e in 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e li#e a #id's pape$ %oat in a 'udpuddle!
" decided " didn't ca$e who 'ight %e watching f$o' the othe$ side of the la#e! " didn't ca$e if the
two of the' we$e still lu$#ing on one of the t$ee*shielded pa$ts of The St$eet, eithe$! " swa' until "
could feel st$ands of wate$weed tic#ling 'y an#les and see the c$escent of 'y %each! Then " stood
up, wincing at the ai$, which now felt cold on 'y s#in! " li'ped to sho$e, one hand $aised to fend
off a hail of $oc#s, %ut no $oc#s ca'e! " stood fo$ a 'o'ent on The St$eet, 'y &eans and polo shi$t
d$ipping, loo#ing fi$st one way, then the othe$! "t see'ed " had this little pa$t of the wo$ld to
'yself! 8ast, " loo#ed %ac# at the wate$, whe$e wea# 'oonlight %eat a t$ac# f$o' the thu'%nail of
%each out to the swi''ing float!
'Than#s, 6o,' " said, then sta$ted up the $ail$oad ties to the house! " got a%out halfway, then had to
stop and sit down! " had neve$ %een so utte$ly ti$ed in 'y whole life!
3HA0TER E"5HTEEN
" cli'%ed the stai$s to the dec# instead of going a$ound to the f$ont doo$, still 'oving slowly and
'a$velling at how 'y legs felt twice thei$ no$'al weight! (hen " stepped into the living $oo' "
loo#ed a$ound with the wide eyes of so'eone who has %een away fo$ a decade and $etu$ns to find
eve$ything &ust as he left it + .unte$ the 'oose on the wall, the Boston -lobe on the couch, a
co'pilation of "ough Stuff c$osswo$d pu==les on the end*ta%le, the plate on the counte$ with the
$e'ains of 'y sti$*f$y still on it! 8oo#ing at these things %$ought the $eali=ation ho'e full fo$ce +
" had gone fo$ a wal#, leaving all this no$'al light clutte$ %ehind, and had al'ost died instead! Had
al'ost %een 'u$de$ed!
" %egan to sha#e! " went into the no$th*wing %ath$oo', too# off 'y wet clothes, and th$ew the'
into the tu% + splat! Then, still sha#ing, " tu$ned and sta$ed at 'yself in the 'i$$o$ ove$ the
wash%asin! " loo#ed li#e so'eone who has %een on the losing side in a %a$$oo' %$awl! One %icep
%o$e a long, clotting gash! A %lac#ish*pu$ple %$uise was unfu$ling what loo#ed li#e shadowy wings
on 'y left colla$%one! The$e was a %loody fu$$ow on 'y nec# and %ehind 'y ea$, whe$e the lovely
Rogette had caught 'e with the stone in he$ $ing!
" too# 'y shaving 'i$$o$ and used it to chec# the %ac# of 'y head! '3an't you get that th$ough
you$ thic# s#ullB' 'y 'othe$ used to shout at 'e and Sid when we we$e #ids, and now " than#ed
5od that a had appa$ently %een $ight a%out the thic#ness facto$, at least in 'y case! The spot
whe$e 2evo$e had st$uc# 'e with his cane loo#ed li#e the cone of a $ecently extinct volcano!
(hit'o$e's %ull's*eye had left a $ed wound that would need stitches if " wanted to avoid a sca$!
.lood, $usty and thin, stained the nape of 'y nec# all a$ound the hai$line! 5od #new how 'uch had
flowed out of that unpleasant*loo#ing $ed 'outh and %een washed away %y the la#e!
" pou$ed hyd$ogen pe$oxide into 'y cupped pal', steeled 'yself, and slapped it onto the gash
%ac# the$e li#e afte$shave! The %ite was 'onst$ous, and " had to tighten 'y lips to #eep f$o' c$ying
out! (hen the pain sta$ted to fade a little, " soa#ed cotton %alls with 'o$e pe$oxide and cleaned 'y
othe$ wounds!
" showe$ed, th$ew on a tee*shi$t and a pai$ of &eans, then went into the hall to phone the 3ounty
She$iff! The$e was no need fo$ di$ecto$y assistance7 the 3astle Roc# 0!2! and 3ounty She$iff's
nu'%e$s we$e on the "N 3ASE O9 EER5EN3, ca$d thu'%tac#ed to the %ulletin %oa$d, along with
nu'%e$s fo$ the fi$e depa$t'ent, the a'%ulance se$vice, and the ;AA*nu'%e$ whe$e you could get
th$ee answe$s to that day's "imes c$osswo$d pu==le fo$ a %uc#*fifty!
" dialed the fi$st th$ee nu'%e$s fast, then %egan to slow down! " got as fa$ as ;@@*;LA %efo$e
stopping altogethe$! " stood the$e in the hall with the phone p$essed against 'y ea$, visuali=ing
anothe$ headline, this one not in the deco$ous "imes %ut the $owdy New ,ork 6ost! NOVELIST TO
AGING 8OM1*-3ING6 ',O* 9IG 9*LL,!' Along with side*%y*side pictu$es of 'e, loo#ing
$oughly 'y age, and ax 2evo$e, loo#ing $oughly a hund$ed and six! The 6ost would have g$eat
fun telling its $eade$s how 2evo$e -along with his co'panion, an elde$ly lady who 'ight weigh
ninety pounds soa#ing wet/ had lu'ped up a novelist half his age + a guy who loo#ed, in his
photog$aph, at least, $easona%ly t$i' and fit!
The phone got ti$ed of holding only six of the $e)ui$ed seven nu'%e$s in its $udi'enta$y %$ain,
dou%le*clic#ed, and du'ped 'e %ac# to an open line! " too# the handset away f$o' 'y ea$, sta$ed
at it fo$ a 'o'ent, and then set it gently %ac# down in its c$adle!
"'' not a sissy a%out the so'eti'es whi'sical, so'eti'es hateful attention of the p$ess, %ut "''
wa$y, as " would %e a$ound a %ad*te'pe$ed fu$*%ea$ing 'a''al! A'e$ica has tu$ned the people
who ente$tain it into wei$d high*class who$es, and the 'edia &ee$s at any 'cele%' who da$es co'plain
a%out his o$ he$ t$eat'ent! 'Nuitcha %itchinC' c$y the newspape$s and the T4 gossip shows -the tone
is one of 'ingled t$iu'ph and indignation/!
'2id&a $eally thin# we paid ya the %ig %uc#s &ust to sing a song o$ swing a 8ouisville Slugge$B
($ong, assholeC (e pay so we can %e a'a=ed when you do it well + whateve$ KitK happens to %e
in you$ pa$ticula$ case + and also %ecause it's g$atifying when you fuc# up! The t$uth is you'$e
supplies! "f you cease to %e a'using, we can always #ill you and eat you!'
They can't really eat you, of cou$se! They can p$int pictu$es of you with you$ shi$t off and say
you'$e $unning to fat, they can tal# a%out how 'uch you d$in# o$ how 'any pills you ta#e o$
snic#e$ a%out the night you pulled so'e sta$let onto you$ lap at Spago and t$ied to stic# you$ tongue
in he$ ea$, %ut they can't $eally eat you! So it wasn't the thought of the 6ost calling 'e a c$y%a%y o$
%eing a pa$t of 6ay 8eno's opening 'onologue that 'ade 'e put the phone down7 it was the
$eali=ation that " had no p$oof! No one had seen us! And, " $eali=ed, finding an ali%i fo$ hi'self and
his pe$sonal assistant would %e the easiest thing in the wo$ld fo$ ax 2evo$e!
The$e was one othe$ thing, too, the cappe$D i'agining the 3ounty She$iff sending out 5eo$ge
9oot'an, a#a daddy, to ta#e 'y state'ent on how the 'ean 'an had #noc#ed li'l i#ey into the
la#e! How the th$ee of the' would laugh late$ a%out thatC
" called 6ohn Sto$$ow instead, wanting hi' to tell 'e " was doing the $ight thing, the only thing
that 'ade any sense! (anting hi' to $e'ind 'e that only despe$ate 'en we$e d$iven to such
despe$ate lengths -" would igno$e, at least fo$ the ti'e %eing, how the two of the' had laughed, as
if they we$e having the ti'e of thei$ lives/, and that nothing had changed in $ega$d to 1i 2evo$e +
he$ g$andfathe$'s custody case still suc#ed %ogwate$!
" got 6ohn's $eco$ding 'achine at ho'e and left a 'essage + &ust call i#e Noonan, no
e'e$gency, %ut feel f$ee to call late! Then " t$ied his office, 'indful of the sc$iptu$e acco$ding to
6ohn 5$isha'D young lawye$s wo$# until they d$op! " listened to the fi$''s $eco$ding 'achine, then
followed inst$uctions and punched STO on 'y phone #eypad, the fi$st th$ee lette$s of 6ohn's last
na'e!
The$e was a clic# and he ca'e on the line + anothe$ $eco$ded ve$sion, unfo$tunately! 'Hi, this is
6ohn Sto$$ow! "'ve gone up to 0hilly fo$ the wee#end to see 'y 'o' and dad! "'ll %e in the office on
onday7 fo$ the $est of the wee#, "'ll %e out on %usiness! 9$o' Tuesday to 9$iday you'll p$o%a%ly
have the 'ost luc# t$ying to $each 'e at ! ! ! '
The nu'%e$ he gave %egan FAJ*;@@, which 'eant 3astle Roc#! " i'agined it was the hotel whe$e
he'd stayed %efo$e, the nice one up on the 4iew! 'i#e Noonan,' " said! '3all 'e when you can! "
left a 'essage on you$ apa$t'ent 'achine, too!'
" went in the #itchen to get a %ee$, then only stood the$e in f$ont of the $ef$ige$ato$, playing with
the 'agnets! (ho$e'aste$, he'd called 'e! Say there' whoremaster' where's your whore? A 'inute
late$ he had offe$ed to save 'y soul! Nuite funny, $eally! 8i#e an alcoholic offe$ing to ta#e ca$e of
you$ li)uo$ ca%inet! .e spoke of you with what 1 think was genuine affection, attie had said! ,our
great*grandfather and his great*grandfather shit in the same pit(
" left the f$idge with all the %ee$ still safe inside, went %ac# to the phone, and called attie!
'Hi,' said anothe$ o%viously $eco$ded voice! " was on a $oll! '"t's 'e, %ut eithe$ "'' out o$ not a%le
to co'e to the phone $ight this 'inute! 8eave a 'essage, o#ayB' A pause, the 'i#e $ustling, a
distant whispe$, and then 1y$a, so loud she al'ost %lew 'y ea$ offD '%ea&e a .A66, message5' (hat
followed was laughte$ f$o' %oth of the', cut off %y the %eep!
'Hi, attie, it's i#e Noonan,' " said! '" &ust wanted + '
" don't #now how " would have finished that thought, and " didn't have to! The$e was a clic# and
then attie he$self said, 'Hello, i#e!' The$e was such a diffe$ence %etween this d$ea$y, defeated*
sounding voice and the chee$ful one on the tape that fo$ a 'o'ent " was silenced! Then " as#ed he$
what was w$ong!
'Nothing,' she said, then %egan to c$y! 'Eve$ything! " lost 'y &o%! 8indy fi$ed 'e!'
9i$ing wasn't what 8indy had called it, of cou$se! She'd called it '%elt*tightening,' %ut it was fi$ing,
all $ight, and " #new that if " loo#ed into the funding of the 9ou$ 8a#es 3onsolidated 8i%$a$y, "
would discove$ that one of the chief suppo$te$s ove$ the yea$s had %een $! ax 2evo$e! And he'd
continue to %e one of the chief suppo$te$s ! ! ! if, that was, 8indy .$iggs played %all!
'(e shouldn't have tal#ed whe$e she could see us doing it,' " said, #nowing " could have stayed
away f$o' the li%$a$y co'pletely and attie would %e &ust as gone! 'And we p$o%a%ly should have
seen this co'ing!'
'6ohn Sto$$ow did see it!' She was still c$ying, %ut 'a#ing an effo$t to get it unde$ cont$ol! 'He
said ax 2evo$e would p$o%a%ly want to 'a#e su$e " was as deep in the co$ne$ as he could push
'e, co'e the custody hea$ing! He said 2evo$e would want to 'a#e su$e " answe$ed K"''
une'ployed, ,ou$ Hono$K when the &udge as#ed whe$e " wo$#ed! " told 6ohn $s! .$iggs would
neve$ do anything so low, especially to a gi$l who'd given such a %$illiant tal# on elville's
K.a$tle%y!K 2o you #now what he told 'eB'
'No!'
'He said, K,ou'$e ve$y young!K " thought that was a pat$oni=ing thing to say, %ut he was $ight,
wasn't heB'
'attie + '
'(hat a' " going to do, i#eB (hat a' " going to doB' The panic*$at had 'oved on down to
(asp Hill Road, it sounded li#e!
" thought, )uite coldlyD Why not become my mistress? ,our title will be 'research assistant'' a
perfectly )ake occupation as far as the 1RS is concerned' 1'll throw in clothes' a couple of charge
cards' a house 3 say goodbye to the rustbucket doublewide on Wasp .ill Road 3 and a two*week
&acationA how does /ebruary on #aui sound? 6lus @i's education' of course' and a hefty cash
bonus at the end of the year( 1'll be considerate' too( onsiderate and discreet( 2nce or twice a
week' and ne&er until your little girl is fast asleep( All you ha&e to do is say yes and gi&e me a key(
All you ha&e to do is slide o&er when 1 slide in( All you ha&e to do is let me do what 1 want 3 all
through the dark' all through the night' let me touch where 1 want to touch' let me do what 1 want
to do' ne&er say no' ne&er say stop(
" closed 'y eyes! 'i#eB A$e you the$eB'
'Su$e,' " said! " touched the th$o%%ing gash at the %ac# of 'y head and winced! ',ou'$e going to
do &ust fine, attie! ,ou + '
'The t$aile$'s not paid fo$C' she nea$ly wailed! '" have two ove$due phone %ills and they'$e
th$eatening to cut off the se$viceC The$e's so'ething w$ong with the 6eep's t$ans'ission, and the
$ea$ axle, as wellC " can pay fo$ 1i's last wee# of 4acation .i%le School, " guess + $s! .$iggs
gave 'e th$ee wee#s' pay in lieu of notice + %ut how will " %uy he$ shoesB She outg$ows
eve$ything so fast ! ! ! the$e's holes in all he$ sho$ts and 'ost of he$ g*g*godda' unde$wea$ ! ! ! '
She was sta$ting to weep again!
'"'' going to ta#e ca$e of you until you get %ac# on you$ feet,' " said!
'No, " can't let + '
',ou can! And fo$ 1y$a's sa#e, you will! 8ate$ on, if you still want to, you can pay 'e %ac#!
(e'll #eep ta%s on eve$y dolla$ and di'e, if you li#e! .ut "'' going to ta#e ca$e of you!' And you'll
ne&er take off your clothes when 1'm with you( "hat's a promise' and 1'm going to keep it(
'i#e, you don't have to do this!'
'ay%e, 'ay%e not! .ut " am going to do it! ,ou &ust t$y and stop 'e!' "'d called 'eaning to tell
he$ what had happened to 'e + giving he$ the hu'o$ous ve$sion + %ut that now see'ed li#e the
wo$st idea in the wo$ld! 'This custody thing is going to %e ove$ %efo$e you #now it, and if you can't
find anyone %$ave enough to put you to wo$# down he$e once it is, "'ll find so'eone up in 2e$$y
who'll do it! .esides, tell 'e the t$uth + a$en't you sta$ting to feel that it 'ight %e ti'e fo$ a change
of scene$yB'
She 'anaged a sc$ap of a laugh! '" guess you could say that!'
'Hea$d f$o' 6ohn todayB'
'Actually, yes! He's visiting his pa$ents in 0hiladelphia %ut he gave 'e the nu'%e$ the$e! " called
hi'!'
He'd said he was ta#en with he$! 0e$haps she was ta#en with hi', as well! " told 'yself the
tho$ny little tug " felt ac$oss 'y e'otions at the idea was only 'y i'agination! T$ied to tell 'yself
that, anyway! '(hat did he say a%out you losing you$ &o% the way you didB'
'The sa'e things you said! .ut he didn't 'a#e 'e feel safe! ,ou do! " don't #now why!' " did! "
was an olde$ 'an, and that is ou$ chief att$action to young wo'enD we 'a#e the' feel safe! 'He's
co'ing up again Tuesday 'o$ning! " said "'d have lunch with hi'!'
S'oothly, not a t$e'o$ o$ hesitation in 'y voice, " saidD 'ay%e " could &oin you!'
attie's own voice wa$'ed at the suggestion7 he$ $eady acceptance 'ade 'e feel pa$adoxically
guilty! 'That would %e g$eatC (hy don't " call hi' and suggest that you %oth co'e ove$ he$eB "
could %a$%ecue again! ay%e "'ll #eep 1i ho'e f$o' 4.S and 'a#e it a fou$so'e! She's hoping
you'll $ead he$ anothe$ sto$y! She $eally en&oyed that!'
'That sounds g$eat,' " said, and 'eant it! Adding 1y$a 'ade it all see' 'o$e natu$al, less of an
int$usion on 'y pa$t! Also less li#e a date on thei$s! 6ohn could not %e accused of ta#ing an
unethical inte$est in his client! "n the end he'd p$o%a%ly than# 'e! '" %elieve 1i 'ight %e $eady to
'ove on to KHansel and 5$etel!K How a$e you, attieB All $ightB'
'uch %ette$ than " was %efo$e you called!'
'5ood! Things a$e going to %e all $ight!'
'0$o'ise 'e!'
'" thin# " &ust did!'
The$e was a slight pause! 'A$e you all $ight, i#eB ,ou sound a little ! ! ! " don't #now ! ! ! a little
st$ange!'
'"'' o#ay,' " said, and " was, fo$ so'eone who had %een p$etty su$e he was d$owning less than an
hou$ ago! '3an " as# you one )uestion %efo$e " goB .ecause this is d$iving 'e c$a=y!'
'Of cou$se!'
'The night we had dinne$, you said 2evo$e told you his g$eat*g$andfathe$ and 'ine #new each
othe$! 0$etty well, acco$ding to hi'!'
'He said they shit in the sa'e pit! " thought that was elegant!'
'2id he say anything elseB Thin# ha$d!'
She did, %ut ca'e up with nothing! " told he$ to call 'e if so'ething a%out that conve$sation did
occu$ to he$, o$ if she got lonely o$ sca$ed, o$ if she sta$ted to feel wo$$ied a%out anything! " didn't
li#e to say too 'uch, %ut " had al$eady decided "'d have to have a f$an# tal# with 6ohn a%out 'y
latest adventu$e! "t 'ight %e p$udent to have the p$ivate detective f$o' 8ewiston 5eo$ge 1ennedy,
li#e the acto$ + put a 'an o$ two on the TR to #eep an eye on attie and 1y$a! ax 2evo$e was
'ad, &ust as 'y ca$eta#e$ had said! " hadn't unde$stood then, %ut " did now! Any ti'e " sta$ted to
dou%t, all " had to do was touch the %ac# of 'y head!
" $etu$ned to the f$idge and once 'o$e fo$got to open it! y hands went to the 'agnets instead
and again %egan 'oving the' a$ound, watching as wo$ds fo$'ed, %$o#e apa$t, evolved! "t was a
peculia$ #ind of w$iting ! ! ! %ut it was w$iting! " could tell %y the way " was sta$ting to t$ance out!
That half*hypnoti=ed sta$e is one you cultivate until you can switch it on and off at will ! ! ! at
least you can when things a$e going well! The intuitive pa$t of the 'ind unloc#s itself when you
%egin wo$# and $ises to a height of a%out six feet -'ay%e ten on good days/! Once the$e, it si'ply
hove$s, sending %lac#*'agic 'essages and %$ight pictu$es! 9o$ the %alance of the day that pa$t is
loc#ed to the $est of the 'achine$y and goes p$etty 'uch fo$gotten ! ! ! except on ce$tain occasions
when it co'es loose on its own and you t$ance out unexpectedly, you$ 'ind 'a#ing associations
which have nothing to do with $ational thought and gla$ing with unexpected i'ages! That is in
so'e ways the st$angest pa$t of the c$eative p$ocess! The 'uses a$e ghosts, and so'eti'es they
co'e uninvited!
#y house is haunted(
Sara %aughs has always been haunted ( ( ( you'&e stirred em up(
stirred, " w$ote on the $ef$ige$ato$! .ut it didn't loo# $ight, so " 'ade a ci$cle of f$uit and
vegeta%le 'agnets a$ound it! That was %ette$, 'uch! " stood the$e fo$ a 'o'ent, hands c$ossed ove$
'y chest as " c$ossed the' at 'y des# when " was stuc# fo$ a wo$d o$ a ph$ase, then too# off stirr
and put on haunt, 'a#ing haunted!
'"t's haunted in the ci$cle,' " said, and %a$ely hea$d the faint chi'e of .unte$'s %ell, as if in
ag$ee'ent!
" too# the lette$s off, and as " did found 'yself thin#ing how odd it was to have a lawye$ na'ed
Ro'eo +
-romeo went in the ci$cle/
+ and a detective na'ed 5eo$ge 1ennedy!
-george went up on the f$idge/
" wonde$ed if 1ennedy could help 'e with Andy 2$a#e +
-drake on the f$idge/
+ 'ay%e give 'e so'e insights! "'d neve$ w$itten a%out a p$ivate detective %efo$e and it's the
little stuff +
-rake off, leave the d, add etails/
+ that 'a#es the diffe$ence! " tu$ned a G on its %ac# and put an 1 %eneath it, 'a#ing a pitchfo$#!
The devil's in the details!
9$o' the$e " went so'ewhe$e else! " don't #now whe$e, exactly, %ecause " was t$anced out, that
intuitive pa$t of 'y 'ind up so high a sea$ch*pa$ty couldn't have found it! " stood in f$ont of 'y
f$idge and played with the lette$s, spelling out little pieces of thought without even thin#ing a%out
the'! ,ou 'ightn't %elieve such a thing is possi%le, %ut eve$y w$ite$ #nows it is!
(hat %$ought 'e %ac# was light splashing ac$oss the windows of the foye$! " loo#ed up and saw
the shape of a ca$ pulling to a stop %ehind 'y 3hev$olet! A c$a'p of te$$o$ sei=ed 'y %elly! That
was a 'o'ent when " would have given eve$ything " owned fo$ a loaded gun! .ecause it was
9oot'an! Had to %e! 2evo$e had called hi' when he and (hit'o$e got %ac# to (a$$ington's, had
told hi' Noonan $efuses to %e a good a$tian so get ove$ the$e and fix hi'!
(hen the d$ive$'s doo$ opened and the do'e*light in the visito$'s ca$ ca'e on, " %$eathed a
conditional sigh of $elief! " didn't #now who it was, %ut it su$e wasn't 'daddy!' This fellow didn't
loo# as if he could ta#e ca$e of a housefly with a $olled*up newspape$ ! ! ! although, " supposed,
the$e we$e plenty of people who had 'ade that sa'e 'ista#e a%out 6eff$ey 2ah'e$!
A%ove the f$idge was a cluste$ of ae$osol cans, all of the' old and p$o%a%ly not o=one*f$iendly! "
didn't #now how $s! ! had 'issed the', %ut " was pleased she had! " too# the fi$st one 'y hand
touched + .lac# 9lag, excellent choice + thu'%ed off the cap, and stuc# the can in the left f$ont
poc#et of 'y &eans! Then " tu$ned to the d$awe$s on the $ight of the sin#! The top one contained
silve$wa$e! The second one held what 6o called '#itchenshit' + eve$ything f$o' poult$y
the$'o'ete$s to those gadgets you stic# in co$nco%s so you don't %u$n you$ finge$s off! The thi$d
one down held a gene$ous selection of 'is'atched stea# #nives! " too# one, put it in the $ight f$ont
poc#et of 'y &eans, and went to the doo$!
The 'an on 'y stoop &u'ped a little when " tu$ned on the outside light, then %lin#ed th$ough the
doo$ at 'e li#e a nea$sighted $a%%it! He was a%out five*fou$, s#inny, pale! He wo$e his hai$ c$opped
in the so$t of cut #nown as a wiffle in 'y %oyhood days! His eyes we$e %$own! 5ua$ding the' was
a pai$ of ho$n*$i''ed glasses with g$easy*loo#ing lenses! His little hands hung at his sides! One
held the handle of a flat leathe$ case, the othe$ a s'all white o%long! " didn't thin# it was 'y destiny
to %e #illed %y a 'an with a %usiness ca$d in one hand, so " opened the doo$!
The guy s'iled, the anxious so$t of s'ile people always see' to wea$ in (oody Allen 'ovies!
He was wea$ing a (oody Allen outfit too, " saw + faded plaid shi$t a little too sho$t at the w$ists,
chinos a little too %aggy in the c$otch! Someone must ha&e told him about the resemblance, "
thought! "hat's got to be it(
'$! NoonanB'
',esB'
He handed 'e the ca$d! NE>T 3ENTUR, REA8 ESTATE, it said in $aised gold lette$s! .elow this, in
'o$e 'odest %lac#, was 'y visito$'s na'e!
'"'' Richa$d Osgood,' he said as if " couldn't $ead, and held out his hand! The A'e$ican 'ale's
need to $espond to that gestu$e in #ind is deeply ing$ained, %ut that night " $esisted it! He held his
little pin# paw out a 'o'ent longe$, then lowe$ed it and wiped the pal' ne$vously against his
chinos! '" have a 'essage fo$ you! 9$o' $! 2evo$e!'
" waited!
'ay " co'e inB'
'No,' " said!
He too# a step %ac#wa$d, wiped his hand on his pants again, and see'ed to gathe$ hi'self! '"
ha$dly thin# the$e's any need to %e $ude, $! Noonan!'
" wasn't %eing $ude! "f "'d wanted to %e $ude, " would have t$eated hi' to a faceful of $oach*
$epellent! 'ax 2evo$e and his 'inde$ t$ied to d$own 'e in the la#e this evening! "f 'y 'anne$s
see' a little off to you, that's p$o%a%ly it!'
Osgood's loo# of shoc# was $eal, " thin#! ',ou 'ust %e wo$#ing too ha$d on you$ latest p$o&ect,
$! Noonan! ax 2evo$e is going to %e eighty*six on his next %i$thday + if he 'a#es it, which
now see's to %e in so'e dou%t! 0oo$ old fella can ha$dly even wal# f$o' his chai$ to his %ed
any'o$e! As fo$ Rogette + '
'" see you$ point,' " said! '"n fact " saw it twenty 'inutes ago, without any help f$o' you! " ha$dly
%elieve it 'yself, and " was the$e! 5ive 'e whateve$ it is you have fo$ 'e!'
'9ine,' he said in a p$issy little 'all $ight, be that way' voice! He un=ipped a pouch on the f$ont of
his leathe$ %ag and %$ought out a white envelope, %usiness*si=ed and sealed! " too# it, hoping
Osgood couldn't sense how ha$d 'y hea$t was thu'ping! 2evo$e 'oved p$etty da'ned fast fo$ a
'an who t$avelled with an oxygen tan#! The )uestion was, what #ind of 'ove was thisB
'Than#s,' " said, %eginning to close the doo$! '"'d tip you the p$ice of a d$in#, %ut " left 'y wallet
on the d$esse$!'
'(aitC ,ou'$e supposed to $ead it and give 'e an answe$!'
" $aised 'y eye%$ows! '" don't #now whe$e 2evo$e got the notion that he could o$de$ 'e a$ound,
%ut " have no intention of allowing his ideas to influence 'y %ehavio$! .u== off!'
His lips tu$ned down, c$eating deep di'ples at the co$ne$s of his 'outh, and all at once he didn't
loo# li#e (oody Allen at all! He loo#ed li#e a fifty*yea$*old $eal*estate %$o#e$ who had sold his
soul to the devil and now couldn't stand to see anyone yan# the %oss's fo$#ed tail! '0iece of f$iendly
advice, $! Noonan + you want to watch it! ax 2evo$e is no 'an to fool a$ound with!'
'8uc#ily fo$ 'e, "'' not fooling a$ound!'
" closed the doo$ and stood in the foye$, holding the envelope and watching $! Next 3entu$y
Real Estate! He loo#ed pissed off and con*fused + no one had given hi' the %u''s $ush &ust lately,
" guessed! ay%e it would do hi' so'e good! 8end a little pe$spective to his life! Re'ind hi' that,
ax 2evo$e o$ no ax 2evo$e, Richie Osgood would still neve$ stand 'o$e than five*feet*seven!
Even in cow%oy %oots!
'$! 2evo$e wants an answe$C' he called th$ough the closed doo$!
'"'ll phone,' " called %ac#, then slowly $aised 'y 'iddle finge$s in the dou%le eagle "'d hoped to
give ax and Rogette ea$lie$! '"n the 'eanti'e, pe$haps you could convey this!'
" al'ost expected hi' to ta#e off his glasses and $u% his eyes! He wal#ed %ac# to his ca$ instead,
tossed his case in, then followed it! " watched until he had %ac#ed up to the lane and " was su$e he
was gone! Then " went into the living $oo' and opened the envelope! "nside was a single sheet of
pape$, faintly scented with the pe$fu'e 'y 'othe$ had wo$n when " was &ust a #id! (hite
Shoulde$s, " thin# it's called! Ac$oss the top + neat, ladyli#e, p$inted in slightly $aised lette$s +
was
ROGETTE D. WHITMORE
.elow it was this 'essage, w$itten in a slightly sha#y fe'inine handD
G(HE 6(#(
Dear #r( Noonan'
#a$ wishes me to con&ey how glad he was to meet you5 1 must echo
that sentiment( ,ou are a &ery amusing and entertaining fellow5 We
en)oyed your antics e&er so much(
Now to business( #( offers you a &ery simple dealA if you promise
to cease asking !uestions about him' and if you promise to cease all
legal maneu&ering 3 if you promise to let him rest in peace' so to
speak then #r( De&ore promises to cease efforts to gain custody of
his granddaughter( 1f this suits' you need only tell #r( 2sgood '1
agree(' .e will carry the message5 #a$ hopes to return to alifornia
by pri&ate )et &ery soon 3 he has business which can be put off no
longer' although he has en)oyed his time here and has found you
particularly interesting( .e wants me to remind you that custody has
its responsibilities' and urges you not to forget he said so(
Rogette
6(S( .e reminds me that you didn't answer his !uestion 3 does her
cunt suck? #a$ is !uite curious on that point(
R!
" $ead this note ove$ a second ti'e, then a thi$d! " sta$ted to put it on the ta%le, then $ead it a
fou$th ti'e! "t was as if " couldn't get the sense of it! " had to $est$ain an u$ge to fly to the telephone
and call attie at once! "t's ove$, attie, "'d say! Ta#ing you$ &o% and dun#ing 'e in the la#e we$e
the last two shots of the wa$! He's giving up!
No! Not until " was a%solutely su$e!
" called (a$$ington's instead, whe$e " got 'y fou$th answe$ing 'achine of the night! 2evo$e and
(hit'o$e hadn't %othe$ed with anything wa$' and fu==y, eithe$7 a voice as cold as a 'otel ice*
'achine si'ply told 'e to leave 'y 'essage at the sound of the %eep!
'"t's Noonan,' " said! .efo$e " could go any fu$the$ the$e was a clic# as so'eone pic#ed up!
'2id you en&oy you$ swi'B' Rogette (hit'o$e as#ed in a s'o#y, 'oc#ing voice! if " hadn't seen
he$ in the flesh, " 'ight have i'agined a .a$%a$a Stanwyc# type at he$ 'ost coldly att$active,
coiled on a $ed velvet couch in a peach*sil# d$essing gown, telephone in one hand, ivo$y ciga$ette
holde$ in the othe$!
'"f "'d caught up with you, s! (hit'o$e, " would have 'ade you unde$stand 'y feelings
pe$fectly!'
'Oooo,' she said! 'y thighs a$e a*tingle!'
'0lease spa$e 'e the i'age of you$ thighs!'
'Stic#s and stones, $! Noonan,' she said! 'To what do we owe the pleasu$e of you$ callB'
'" sent $! Osgood away without a $eply!'
'ax thought you 'ight! He said, KOu$ young who$e'aste$ %elieves in the value of a pe$sonal
$esponse! ,ou can tell that &ust loo#ing at hi'!''
'He gets the uglies when he loses, doesn't heB'
'$! 2evo$e doesn't lose!' He$ voice d$opped at least fo$ty deg$ees and all the 'oc#ing good
hu'o$ %ailed out on the way down! 'He 'ay change his goals, %ut he doesn't lose! ,ou we$e the
one who loo#ed li#e a lose$ tonight, $! Noonan, paddling a$ound and yelling out the$e in the la#e!
,ou we$e sca$ed, we$en't youB'
',es! .adly!'
',ou we$e $ight to %e! " wonde$ if you #now how luc#y you a$eB'
'ay " tell you so'ethingB'
'Of cou$se, i#e + 'ay " call you i#eB'
'(hy don't you &ust stic# with $! Noonan! Now + a$e you listeningB'
'(ith %ated %$eath!'
',ou$ %oss is old, he's nutty, and " suspect he's past the point whe$e he could effectively 'anage
a ,aht=ee sco$eca$d, let alone a custody suit! He was whipped a wee# ago!'
'2o you have a pointB'
'As a 'atte$ of fact " do, so get it $ightD if eithe$ of you eve$ t$ies anything $e'otely li#e that
again, "'ll co'e afte$ that old fuc# and &a' his snot*s'ea$ed oxygen 'as# so fa$ up his ass he'll %e
a%le to ae$ate his lungs f$o' the %otto'! And if " see you on The St$eet, s! (hit'o$e, "'ll use you
fo$ a shotput! 2o you unde$stand 'eB'
" stopped, %$eathing ha$d, a'a=ed and also $athe$ disgusted with 'yself! "f you had told 'e "'d
had such a speech in 'e, " would have scoffed!
Afte$ a long silence " saidD 's! (hit'o$eB Still the$eB'
'"'' he$e,' she said! " wanted he$ to %e fu$ious, %ut she actually sounded a'used! '(ho has the
uglies now, $! NoonanB'
'" do,' " said, 'and don't you fo$get it, you $oc#*th$owing %itch!'
'(hat is you$ answe$ to $! 2evo$eB'
'(e have a deal! " shut up, the lawye$s shut up, he gets out of attie and 1y$a's life! "f, on the
othe$ hand, he continues to + '
'" #now, " #now, you'll %o$e hi' and st$o#e hi'! " wonde$ how you'll feel a%out all this a wee#
f$o' now, you a$$ogant, stupid c$eatu$eB'
.efo$e " could $eply + it was on the tip of 'y tongue to tell he$ that even at he$ %est she still
th$ew li#e a gi$l + she was gone!
" stood the$e with the telephone in 'y hand fo$ a few seconds, then hung it up! (as it a t$ic#B "t
felt li#e a t$ic#, %ut at the sa'e ti'e it didn't! 6ohn needed to #now a%out this! He hadn't left his
pa$ents' nu'%e$ on his answe$ing 'achine, %ut attie had it! "f " called he$ %ac#, though, "'d %e
o%ligated to tell he$ what had &ust happened! "t 'ight %e a good idea to put off any fu$the$ calls
until to'o$$ow! To sleep on it!
" stuc# 'y hand in 'y poc#et and da'ned nea$ i'paled it on the stea# #nife hiding the$e! "'d
fo$gotten all a%out it! " too# it out, ca$$ied it %ac# into the #itchen, and $etu$ned it to the d$awe$!
Next " fished out the ae$osol can, tu$ned to put it %ac# on top of the f$idge with its elde$ly %$othe$s,
then stopped! "nside the ci$cle of f$uit and vegeta%le 'agnets was thisD
d
go
w
:;n
Had " done that 'yselfB! Had " %een so fa$ into the =one, so t$anced out, that " had put a 'ini*
c$osswo$d on the $ef$ige$ato$ without $e'e'%e$ing itB And if so, what did it 'eanB
#aybe someone else put it up, " thought! 2ne of my in&isible roommates(
'5o down :;n,' " said, $eaching out and touching the lette$s! A co'pass headingB O$ 'ay%e it
'eant -o IJ Down! That suggested c$osswo$ds again! So'eti'es in a pu==le you get a clue which
$eads si'ply See IJ Across o$ See IJ Down! "f that was the 'eaning he$e, what pu==le was "
supposed to chec#B
'" could use a little help he$e,' " said, %ut the$e was no answe$ + not f$o' the ast$al plane, not
f$o' inside 'y own head! " finally got the can of %ee$ "'d %een p$o'ising 'yself and too# it %ac# to
the sofa! " pic#ed up 'y "ough Stuff c$osswo$d %oo# and loo#ed at the pu==le " was cu$$ently
wo$#ing! '8i)uo$ "s Nuic#e$,' it was called, and it was filled with the stupid puns which only
c$osswo$d addicts find a'using! Tipsy acto$B a$ion .$andy! Tipsy southe$n novelB Te)uila
oc#ing%i$d! 2$ives the 2A to d$in#B .ou$%on of p$oof! And the definition of 2own was O$iental
nu$se, which eve$y c$ucive$%alist in the unive$se #nows is a'ah! Nothing in '8i)uo$ "s Nuic#e$'
connected to what was going on in 'y life, at least that " could see!
" thu'%ed th$ough so'e of the othe$ pu==les in the %oo#, loo#ing at :; 2owns! a$%le wo$#e$'s
tool -chisel/! 3NN's favo$ite howle$, F wds -wolf%lit=e$/! Ethanol and di'ethyl ethe$, e!g!
-iso'e$s/! " tossed the %oo# aside in disgust! (ho said it had to %e this pa$ticula$ c$osswo$d
collection, anywayB The$e we$e p$o%a%ly fifty othe$s in the house, fou$ o$ five in the d$awe$ of the
ve$y end*ta%le on which 'y %ee$ can stood! " leaned %ac# on the sofa and closed 'y eyes!
1 always liked a whore ( ( ( sometimes their place was on my face(
"his is where good pups and &ile dogs may walk side*by*side(
"here's no town drunk here' we all take turns(
"his is where it happened( Ayuh(
" fell asleep and wo#e up th$ee hou$s late$ with a stiff nec# and a te$$i%le th$o% in the %ac# of 'y
head! Thunde$ was $u'%ling thic#ly fa$ off in the (hite ountains, and the house see'ed ve$y
hot! (hen " got up f$o' the couch, the %ac#s of 'y thighs 'o$e o$ less peeled away f$o' the
fa%$ic! " shuffled down to the no$th wing li#e an old, old 'an, loo#ed at 'y wet clothes, thought
a%out ta#ing the' into the laund$y $oo', and then decided if " %ent ove$ that fa$, 'y head 'ight
explode!
',ou ghosts ta#e ca$e of it,' " 'utte$ed! '"f you can change the pants and the unde$wea$ a$ound on
the whi$ligig, you can put 'y clothes in the ha'pe$!'
" too# th$ee Tylenol and went to %ed! At so'e point " wo#e a second ti'e and hea$d the phanto'
child so%%ing!
'Stop,' " told it! 'Stop it, 1i, no one's going to ta#e you anywhe$e! ,ou'$e safe!' Then " went %ac#
to sleep again!
3HA0TER N"NETEEN
The telephone was $inging! " cli'%ed towa$d it f$o' a d$owning d$ea' whe$e " couldn't catch 'y
%$eath, $ising into ea$ly sunlight, wincing at the pain in the %ac# of 'y head as " swung 'y feet out
of %ed! The phone would )uit %efo$e " got to it, they al'ost always do in such situations, and then
"'d lie %ac# down and spend a f$uitless ten 'inutes wonde$ing who it had %een %efo$e getting up fo$
good!
Ringgg ( ( ( ringgg ( ( ( ringgg ( ( (
(as that tenB A do=enB "'d lost count! So'eone was $eally dedicated! " hoped it wasn't t$ou%le,
%ut in 'y expe$ience people don't t$y that ha$d when the news is good! " touched 'y finge$s
ginge$ly to the %ac# of 'y head! "t hu$t plenty, %ut that deep, sic# ache see'ed to %e gone! And
the$e was no %lood on 'y finge$s when " loo#ed at the'!
" padded down the hall and pic#ed up the phone! 'HelloB'
'(ell, you won't have to wo$$y a%out testifyin at the #id's custody hea$in any'o$e, at least!'
'.illB'
'Ayuh!'
'How did you #now ! ! ! ' " leaned a$ound the co$ne$ and pee$ed at the waggy, annoying cat*cloc#!
Twenty 'inutes past seven and al$eady swelte$ing! Hotte$'n a %ugge$, as us TR a$tians li#e to
say! 'How do you #now he decided + '
'" don't #now nothing a%out his %usiness one way o$ t'othe$!' .ill sounded touchy! 'He neve$
called to as# 'y advice, and " neve$ called to give hi' any!'
'(hat's happenedB (hat's going onB'
',ou haven't had the T4 on yetB'
'" don't even have the coffee on yet!'
No apology f$o' .ill7 he was a fellow who %elieved that people who didn't get up until afte$ six
A!! dese$ved whateve$ they got! " was awa#e now, though! And had a p$etty good idea of what
was co'ing!
'2evo$e #illed hi'self last night, i#e! 5ot into a tu% of wa$' wate$ and pulled a plastic %ag
ove$ his head! ustn't have ta#en long, with his lungs the way they we$e!'
No, " thought, p$o%a%ly not long! "n spite of the hu'id su''e$ heat that al$eady lay on the
house, " shive$ed!
'(ho found hi'B The wo'anB'
'Ayuh, su$e!'
'(hat ti'eB'
'''Sho$tly %efo$e 'idnight,K' they said on the 3hannel L news!'
Right a$ound the ti'e " had awa#ened on the couch and ta#en 'yself stiffly off to %ed, in othe$
wo$ds!
'"s she i'plicatedB'
'2id she play 1evo$#ian, you 'eanB The news $epo$t " saw didn't say nothin a%out that! The
gossip*'ill down to the 8a#eview 5ene$al will %e tu$nin %$is# %y now, %ut " ain't %een down yet fo$
'y sha$e of the g$ain! "f she helped hi', " don't thin# she'll eve$ see t$ou%le fo$ it, do youB He was
eighty*five and not well!'
'2o you #now if he'll %e %u$ied on the TRB'
'3alifo$nia! She said the$e'd %e se$vices in 0al' Sp$ings on Tuesday!'
A sense of su$passing oddness swept ove$ 'e as " $eali=ed the sou$ce of attie's p$o%le's 'ight
%e lying in a chapel filled with flowe$s at the sa'e ti'e The 9$iends of 1y$a 2evo$e we$e digesting
thei$ lunches and getting $eady to sta$t th$owing the 9$is%ee a$ound! 1t's going to be a celebration, "
thought wonde$ingly! 1 don't know how they're going to handle it in "he %ittle hapel of the
#icrochips in 6alm Springs' but on Wasp .ill Road they're going to be dancing and throwing their
arms in the sky and hollering ,es' lawd!
"'d neve$ %een glad to hea$ of anyone's death %efo$e in 'y life, %ut " was glad to hea$ of 2evo$e's!
" was so$$y to feel that way, %ut " did! The old %asta$d had du'ped 'e in the la#e ! ! ! %ut %efo$e the
night was ove$, he was the one who had d$owned! "nside a plastic %ag he had d$owned, sitting in a
tu% of tepid wate$!
'Any idea how the T4 guys got onto it so fastB' "t wasn't superfast, not with seven hou$s %etween
the discove$y of the %ody and the seven o'cloc# news, %ut T4 news people have a tendency to %e
la=y!
'(hit'o$e called e'! Had a p$ess confe$ence $ight the$e in (a$$ington's pa$lo$ at two o'cloc#
this 'o$ning! Too# )uestions settin on that %ig 'a$oon plush sofa, the one 6o always used to say
should %e in a saloon oil paintin with a na#ed wo'an lyin on it! Re'e'%e$B'
',eah!'
'" saw a coupla 3ounty deputies wal#in a$ound in the %ac#g$ound, plus a fella " $ec#oni=ed f$o'
6a)ua$d's 9une$al Ho'e in otton!'
'That's %i=a$$e,' " said! 'Ayuh, %ody still upstai$s, 'ost li#ely, while (hit'o$e was $unnin he$
gu's ! ! ! %ut she clai'ed she was &ust followin the %oss's o$de$s! Said he left a tape sayin he'd done
it on 9$iday night so as not to affect the cu'p'ny stoc# p$ice and wanted Rogette to call in the p$ess
$ight off and assu$e fol#s that the cu'p'ny was solid, that %etween his son and the .oa$d of
2i$ecto$s, eve$ythin was going to %e &ust acey*deucey! Then she told a%out the se$vices in 0al'
Sp$ings!'
'He co''its suicide, then holds a two A!! p$ess confe$ence %y p$oxy to soothe the
stoc#holde$s!'
'Ayuh! And it sounds &ust li#e hi'!'
A silence fell %etween us on the line! " t$ied to thin# and couldn't! All " #new was that " wanted to
go upstai$s and wo$#, aching head o$ no aching head! " wanted to $e&oin Andy 2$a#e, 6ohn
Shac#lefo$d, and Shac#lefo$d's childhood f$iend, the awful Ray 5a$$aty! The$e was 'adness in 'y
sto$y, %ut it was a 'adness " unde$stood!
'.ill,' " said at last, 'a$e we still f$iendsB'
'3h$ist, yes,' he said p$o'ptly! '.ut if the$e's people a$ound who see' a little stand*offy to you,
you'll #now why, won't youB'
Su$e "'d #now! any would %la'e the old 'an's death on 'e! "t was c$a=y, given his physical
condition, and it would %y no 'eans %e a 'a&o$ity opinion, %ut the idea would gain a ce$tain
a'ount of c$edence, at least in the sho$t $un + " #new that as well as " #new the t$uth a%out 6ohn
Shac#lefo$d's childhood f$iend!
1iddies, once upon a ti'e the$e was a goose that flew %ac# to the little uninco$po$ated township
whe$e it had lived as a downy gosling! "t %egan laying lovely golden eggs, and the townsfol# all
gathe$ed a$ound to 'a$vel and $eceive thei$ sha$e! Now, howeve$, that goose was coo#ed and
so'eone had to ta#e the heat! "'d get so'e, %ut attie's #itchen 'ight get a few deg$ees toastie$
than 'ine7 she'd had the te'e$ity to fight fo$ he$ child instead of silently handing 1i ove$!
'1eep you$ head down the next few wee#s,' .ill said! 'That'd %e 'y idea! "n fact, if you had
%usiness that too# you $ight out of the TR until all this settles down, that 'ight %e fo$ the %est!'
'" app$eciate the sense of what you'$e saying, %ut " can't! "'' w$iting a %oo#! "f " pic# up 'y shit
and 'ove, it's apt to die on 'e! "t's happened %efo$e, and " don't want it to happen this ti'e!'
'0$etty good ya$n, is itB'
'Not %ad, %ut that's not the i'po$tant thing! "t's ! ! ! well, let's &ust say this one's i'po$tant to 'e
fo$ othe$ $easons!'
'(ouldn't it t$avel as fa$ as 2e$$yB'
'A$e you t$ying to get $id of 'e, (illia'B'
'"'' t$yin to #eep an eye out, that's all + ca$eta#in's 'y &o%, y'#now! And don't say you we$en't
wa$nedD the hive's gonna %u==! The$e's two sto$ies going a$ound a%out you, i#e! One is that
you'$e shac#ing with attie 2evo$e! The othe$ is that you ca'e %ac# to w$ite a hatchet*&o% on the
TR! 0ull out all the old s#eletons you can find!'
'9inish what 6o sta$ted, in othe$ wo$ds! (ho's %een sp$eading that sto$y, .illB'
Silence f$o' .ill! (e we$e %ac# on ea$th)ua#e g$ound again, and this ti'e that g$ound felt
sha#ie$ than eve$!
'The %oo# "'' wo$#ing on is a novel,' " said! 'Set in 9lo$ida!'
'Oh, ayuhB' ,ou wouldn't thin# th$ee little sylla%les could have so 'uch $elief in the'!
'Thin# you could #ind of pass that a$oundB'
'" thin# " could,' he said! '"f you tell .$enda ese$ve, it'd get a$ound even faste$ and go even
fa$the$!'
'O#ay, " will! As fa$ as attie goes + '
'i#e, you don't have to'
'"'' not shac#ing with he$! That was neve$ the deal! The deal was li#e wal#ing down the st$eet,
tu$ning the co$ne$, and seeing a %ig guy %eating up a little guy!' " paused! 'She and he$ lawye$ a$e
planning a %a$%ecue at he$ place Tuesday noon! "'' planning to &oin the'! A$e people f$o' town
going to thin# we'$e dancing on 2evo$e's g$aveB'
'So'e will! Royce e$$ill will! 2ic#ie .$oo#s will! Old ladies in pants, ,vette calls e'!'
'(ell fuc# the',' " said! 'Eve$y last one!'
'" unde$stand how you feel, %ut tell he$ not to shove it in fol#s' faces,' he al'ost pleaded! '2o that
'uch, i#e! "t wouldn't #ill he$ to d$ag he$ g$ill a$ound %ac# of he$ t$aile$, would itB At least with
it the$e, fol#s loo#in out f$o' the sto$e o$ the ga$age wouldn't see nothing %ut the s'o#e!'
'"'ll pass on the 'essage! And if " 'a#e the pa$ty, "'ll put the %a$%ecue a$ound %ac# 'yself!'
',ou'd do well to stay away f$o' that gi$l and he$ child,' .ill said! ',ou can tell 'e it's none of
'y %usiness, %ut "'' tal#in to you li#e a 2utch uncle, tellin you fo$ you$ own good!'
" had a flash of 'y d$ea' then! The slic#, ex)uisite tightness as " slipped inside he$! The little
%$easts with thei$ ha$d nipples! He$ voice in the da$#ness, telling 'e to do what " wanted! y %ody
$esponded al'ost instantly! '" #now you a$e,' " said!
'All $ight!' He sounded $elieved that " wasn't going to scold hi' + ta#e hi' to school, he would
have said! '"'ll let you go n have you$ %$ea#fast!'
'" app$eciate you calling!'
'Al'ost didn't! ,vette tal#ed 'e into it! She said, K,ou always li#ed i#e and 6o Noonan %est of
all the ones you did fo$! 2on't you get in %ad with hi' now that he's %ac# ho'e!''
'Tell he$ " app$eciate it,' " said!
" hung up the phone and loo#ed at it thoughtfully! (e see'ed to %e on good te$'s again ! ! ! %ut "
didn't thin# we we$e exactly f$iends! 3e$tainly not the way we had %een! That had changed when "
$eali=ed .ill was lying to 'e a%out so'e things and holding %ac# a%out othe$s7 it had also changed
when " $eali=ed what he had al'ost called Sa$a and the Red*Tops!
,ou can't condemn a manor what may only be a figment of your own imagination(
T$ue, and "'d t$y not to do it ! ! ! %ut " #new what " #new!
" went into the living $oo', snapped on the T4, then snapped it off again! y satellite dish got
fifty o$ sixty diffe$ent channels, and not a one of the' local! The$e was a po$ta%le T4 in the
#itchen, howeve$, and if " dipped its $a%%it*ea$s towa$d the la#e "'d %e a%le to get (T(, the A.3
affiliate in weste$n aine!
" snatched up Rogette's note, went into the #itchen, and tu$ned on the little Sony tuc#ed unde$ the
ca%inets with the coffee*'a#e$! -ood #orning America was on, %ut they would %e %$ea#ing fo$ the
local news soon! "n the 'eanti'e " scanned the note, this ti'e concent$ating on the 'ode of
exp$ession $athe$ than the 'essage, which had ta#en all of 'y attention the night %efo$e!
.opes to return to alifornia by pri&ate )et &ery soon, she had w$itten!
.as business which can be put off no longer' she had w$itten!
1f you promise to let him rest in peace' she had w$itten!
"t was a godda' suicide note!
',ou #new,' " said, $u%%ing 'y thu'% ove$ the $aised lette$s of he$ na'e! ',ou #new when you
w$ote this, and p$o%a%ly when you we$e chuc#ing $oc#s at 'e! .ut whyB'
ustody has its responsibilities, she had w$itten! Don't forget he said so!
.ut the custody %usiness was ove$, $ightB Not even a &udge that was %ought and paid fo$ could
awa$d custody to a dead 'an!
-#A finally gave way to the local $epo$t, whe$e ax 2evo$e's suicide was the leade$! The T4
pictu$e was snowy, %ut " could see the 'a$oon sofa .ill had 'entioned, and Rogette (hit'o$e
sitting on it with he$ hands folded co'posedly in he$ lap! " thought one of the deputies in the
%ac#g$ound was 5eo$ge 9oot'an, although the snow was too heavy fo$ 'e to %e co'pletely su$e!
$! 2evo$e had spo#en f$e)uently ove$ the last eight 'onths of ending his life, (hit'o$e said!
He had %een ve$y unwell! He had as#ed he$ to co'e out with hi' the p$evious evening, and she
$eali=ed now that he had wanted to loo# at one final sunset! "t had %een a glo$ious one, too, she
added! " could have co$$o%o$ated that7 " $e'e'%e$ed the sunset ve$y well, having al'ost d$owned
%y its light!
Rogette was $eading 2evo$e's state'ent when 'y phone $ang again! "t was attie, and she was
c$ying in ha$d gusts!
'The news,' she said, 'i#e, did you see ! ! ! do you #now ! ! ! '
At fi$st that was all she could 'anage that was cohe$ent! " told he$ " did #now, .ill 2ean had
called 'e and then "'d caught so'e of it on the local news! She t$ied to $eply and couldn't spea#!
5uilt, $elief, ho$$o$, even hila$ity + " hea$d all those things in he$ c$ying! " as#ed whe$e 1i was! "
could sy'pathi=e with how attie felt + until tu$ning on the news this 'o$ning she'd %elieved old
ax 2evo$e was he$ %itte$est ene'y + %ut " didn't li#e the idea of a th$ee*yea$*old gi$l watching
he$ 'o' fall apa$t!
'Out %ac#,' she 'anaged! 'She's had he$ %$ea#fast! Now she's having a d*doll p*p*p ! ! ! doll pi*p*
pic + '
'2oll picnic! ,es! 5ood! 8et it go, then! All of it!
8et it out!' She c$ied fo$ two 'inutes at least, 'ay%e longe$! " stood with the telephone p$essed to
'y ea$, sweating in the 6uly heat, t$ying to %e patient!
1'm going to gi&e you one chance to sa&e your soul, 2evo$e had told 'e, %ut this 'o$ning he was
dead and his soul was whe$eve$ it was! He was dead, attie was f$ee, " was w$iting! 8ife should
have felt wonde$ful, %ut it didn't!
At last she %egan to get he$ cont$ol %ac#! '"'' so$$y! " haven't c$ied li#e that + $eally, $eally c$ied
+ since 8ance died!'
'"t's unde$standa%le and you'$e allowed!'
'3o'e to lunch,' she said! '3o'e to lunch please, i#e! 1i's going to spend the afte$noon with a
f$iend she 'et at 4acation .i%le School, and we can tal#! " need to tal# to so'eone ! ! ! 5od, 'y
head is spinning! 0lease say you'll co'e!'
'"'d love to, %ut it's a %ad idea! Especially with 1i gone!'
" gave he$ an edited ve$sion of 'y conve$sation with .ill 2ean! She listened ca$efully! " thought
the$e 'ight %e an ang$y out%u$st when " finished, %ut "'d fo$gotten one si'ple factD attie
Stanchfield 2evo$e had lived a$ound he$e all he$ life! She #new how things wo$#ed!
'" unde$stand that things will heal )uic#e$ if " #eep 'y eyes down, 'y 'outh shut, and 'y #nees
togethe$,' she said, 'and "'ll do 'y %est to go along, %ut diplo'acy only st$etches so fa$! That old
'an was t$ying to ta#e 'y daughte$ away, don't they $eali=e that down at the godda' gene$al
sto$eB'
'1 $eali=e it!'
'" #now! That's why " wanted to tal# to you!'
'(hat if we had an ea$ly suppe$ on the 3astle Roc# co''onB Sa'e place as 9$idayB Say five*
ishB'
'"'d have to %$ing 1i + '
'9ine,' " said!
'.$ing he$! Tell he$ " #now KHansel and 5$etelK %y hea$t and a' willing to sha$e! (ill you call
6ohn in 0hillyB 5ive hi' the detailsB'
',es! "'ll wait anothe$ hou$ o$ so! 5od, "'' so happy! " #now that's w$ong, %ut "'' so happy "
could burstC'
'That 'a#es two of us!' The$e was a pause on the othe$ end! " hea$d a long, wate$y inta#e of
%$eath! 'attieB All $ightB'
',es, %ut how do you tell a th$ee*yea$*old he$ g$andfathe$ diedB'
"ell her the old fuck slipped and fell headfirst into a -lad Bag, " thought, then p$essed the %ac#
of 'y hand against 'y 'outh to stifle a spate of lunatic cac#les!
'" don't #now, %ut you'll have to do it as soon as she co'es in!'
'" willB (hyB'
'.ecause she's going to see you! She's going to see you$ face!'
" lasted exactly two hou$s in the upstai$s study, and then the heat d$ove 'e out + the the$'o'ete$
on the stoop $ead ninety*five deg$ees at ten o'cloc#! " guessed it 'ight %e five deg$ees wa$'e$ on
the second floo$!
Hoping " wasn't 'a#ing a 'ista#e, " unplugged the ". and ca$$ied it downstai$s! " was wo$#ing
without a shi$t, and as " c$ossed the living $oo', the %ac# of the typew$ite$ slipped in the sweat
coating 'y 'id$iff and " al'ost d$opped the outdated sonofa%itch on 'y toes! That 'ade 'e thin#
of 'y an#le, the one "'d hu$t when " fell into the la#e, and " set the typew$ite$ aside to loo# at it! "t
was colo$ful, %lac# and pu$ple and $eddish at the edges, %ut not te$$i%ly inflated! " guessed 'y
i''e$sion in the cool wate$ had helped #eep the swelling down!
" put the typew$ite$ on the dec# ta%le, $u''aged out an extension co$d, plugged in %eneath
.unte$'s watchful eye, and sat down facing the ha=y %lue*g$ay su$face of the la#e! " waited fo$ one
of 'y old anxiety attac#s to hit + the clenched sto'ach, the th$o%%ing eyes, and, wo$st of all, that
sensation of invisi%le steel %ands cla'ped a$ound 'y chest, 'a#ing it i'possi%le to %$eathe!
Nothing li#e that happened! The wo$ds flowed as easily down he$e as they had upstai$s, and 'y
na#ed uppe$ %ody was loving the little %$ee=e that puffed in off the la#e eve$y now and again! "
fo$got a%out ax 2evo$e, attie 2evo$e, 1y$a 2evo$e! " fo$got a%out 6o Noonan and Sa$a
Tidwell! " fo$got a%out 'yself! 9o$ two hou$s " was %ac# in 9lo$ida! 6ohn Shac#lefo$d's execution
was nea$ing! Andy 2$a#e was $acing the cloc#!
"t was the telephone that %$ought 'e %ac#, and fo$ once " didn't $esent inte$$uption! "f
undistu$%ed, " 'ight have gone on w$iting until " si'ply 'elted into a sweaty pile of goo on the
dec#!
"t was 'y %$othe$! (e tal#ed a%out o' + in Siddy's opinion she was now sho$t an enti$e $oof
instead of &ust a few shingles + and he$ siste$, 9$ancine, who had %$o#en he$ hip in 6une! Sid
wanted to #now how " was doing, and " told hi' " was doing all $ight, "'d had so'e p$o%le's
getting going on a new %oo# %ut now see'ed to %e %ac# on t$ac# -in 'y fa'ily, the only
pe$'issi%le ti'e to discuss t$ou%le is when it's ove$/! And how was the Sidste$B 1ic#in, he said,
which " assu'ed 'eant &ust fine + Siddy has a twelve*yea$*old, and conse)uently his slang is
always up*to*date! The new accounting %usiness was sta$ting to ta#e hold, although he'd %een
sca$ed fo$ awhile -fi$st " #new of it, of cou$se/! He could neve$ than# 'e enough fo$ the %$idge loan
"'d 'ade hi' last Nove'%e$! " $eplied that it was the least " could do, which was the a%solute t$uth,
especially when " conside$ed how 'uch 'o$e ti'e + %oth in pe$son and on the phone + he spent
with ou$ 'othe$ than " did!
'(ell, "'ll let you go,' Siddy told 'e afte$ a few 'o$e pleasant$ies + he neve$ says good%ye o$ so
long when he's on the phone, it's always well' 1'll let you go, as if he's %een holding you hostage!
',ou want to #eep cool up the$e, i#e + (eathe$ 3hannel says it's going to %e hotte$ than hell in
New England all wee#end!'
'The$e's always the la#e if things get too %ad! Hey SidB'
'Hey whatB' 8i#e 1'll let you go, .ey what went %ac# to childhood! "t was so$t of co'fo$ting7 it
was also so$t of spoo#y!
'Ou$ fol#s all ca'e f$o' 0$out's Nec#, $ightB " 'ean on 2addy's side!' o' ca'e f$o' anothe$
wo$ld enti$ely + one whe$e the 'en wea$ 8acoste polo shi$ts, the wo'en always wea$ full slips
unde$ thei$ d$esses, and eve$yone #nows the second ve$se of '2ixie' %y hea$t! She had 'et 'y dad
in 0o$tland while co'peting in a college chee$leading event! ate$fa'ilias ca'e f$o' e'phis
)uality, da$ling, and didn't let you fo$get it!
'" guess so,' he said! ',eah! .ut don't go as#ing 'e a lot of fa'ily*t$ee )uestions, i#e + "''
still not su$e what the diffe$ence is %etween a nephew and a cousin, and " told 6o the sa'e thing!'
'2id youB' Eve$ything inside 'e had gone ve$y still ! ! ! %ut " can't say " was su$p$ised! Not %y
then!
'Uh*huh, you %et!'
'(hat did she want to #nowB'
'Eve$ything " #new! (hich isn't 'uch! " could have told he$ all a%out a's g$eat*g$eat*
g$andfathe$, the one who got #illed %y the "ndians, %ut 6o didn't see' to ca$e a%out any of a's
fol#s!'
'(hen would this have %eenB'
'2oes it 'atte$B'
'"t 'ight!'
'O#ay, let's see! " thin# it was a$ound the ti'e 0at$ic# had his appendecto'y! ,eah, "'' su$e it
was! 9e%$ua$y of ';<! "t 'ight have %een a$ch, %ut "'' p$etty su$e it was 9e%$ua$y!'
Six 'onths f$o' the Rite Aid pa$#ing lot! 6o 'oving into the shadow of he$ own death li#e a
wo'an stepping %eneath the shade of an awning! Not p$egnant, though, not yet! 6o 'a#ing day*
t$ips to the TR! 6o as#ing )uestions, so'e of the so$t that 'ade people feel %ad, acco$ding to .ill
2ean ! ! ! %ut she'd gone on as#ing &ust the sa'e! ,eah! .ecause once she got onto so'ething, 6o
was li#e a te$$ie$ with a $ag in its &aws! Had she %een as#ing )uestions of the 'an in the %$own
spo$tcoatB (ho was the 'an in the %$own spo$tcoatB
'0at was in the hospital, su$e! 2$! Alpe$t said he was doing fine, %ut when the phone $ang "
&u'ped fo$ it + " half*expected it to %e hi', Alpe$t, saying 0at had had a $elapse o$ so'ething!'
'(he$e in 5od's na'e did you get this sense of i'pending doo', SidB'
'" dunno, %uddy, %ut it's the$e! Anyway, it's not Alpe$t, it's 6ohanna! She wants to #now if we had
any ancesto$s + th$ee, 'ay%e even fou$ gene$ations %ac# who lived the$e whe$e you a$e, o$ in one
of the su$$ounding towns! " told he$ " didn't #now, %ut you 'ight! 1now, " 'ean! She said she didn't
want to as# you %ecause it was a su$p$ise! (as it a su$p$iseB'
'A %ig one,' " said! '2addy was a lo%ste$'an + '
'.ite you$ tongue, he was an artist + 'a seacoast p$i'itive!' a still calls hi' that!' Siddy wasn't
)uite laughing!
'Shit, he sold lo%ste$*pot coffee*ta%les and lawn*puffins to the tou$ists when he got too $heu'atic
to go out on the %ay and haul t$aps!'
'1 #now that, %ut a's got he$ 'a$$iage edited li#e a 'ovie fo$ television!'
How t$ue! Ou$ own ve$sion of .lanche 2u .ois! '2ad was a lo%ste$*'an in 0$out's Nec#! He + '
Siddy inte$$upted, singing the fi$st ve$se of '0apa (as a Rollin' Stone' in a ho$$i%le off #ey teno$!
'3o'e on, this is se$ious! He had his fi$st %oat f$o' his fathe$, $ightB'
'That's the sto$y,' Sid ag$eed! '6ac# Noonan's %a+y Betty, o$iginal owne$ 0aul Noonan! Also of
0$out's! .oat too# a hell of a pasting in Hu$$icane 2onna, %ac# in :;LA! " thin# it was 2onna!'
Two yea$s afte$ " was %o$n! 'And 2addy put it up fo$ sale in 'LG!'
',ep! " don't #now whateve$ %eca'e of it, %ut it was 5$a'py 0aul's to %egin with, all $ight! 2o
you $e'e'%e$ all the lo%ste$ stew we ate when we we$e #ids, i#eyB'
'Seacoast 'eatloaf,' " said, ha$dly thin#ing a%out it! 8i#e 'ost #ids $aised on the coast of aine,
" can't i'agine o$de$ing lo%ste$ in a $estau$ant + that's fo$ flatlande$s! " was thin#ing a%out
5$a'py 0aul, who had %een %o$n in the :?;As! 0aul Noonan %egat 6ac# Noonan, 6ac# Noonan
%egat i#e and Sid Noonan, and that was $eally all " #new, except the Noonans had all g$own up a
long way f$o' whe$e " now stood sweating 'y %$ains out!
"hey shit in the same pit(
2evo$e had gotten it w$ong, that was all + when we Noonans we$en't wea$ing polo shi$ts and
%eing e'phis )uality, we we$e 0$out's Nec#e$s! "t was unli#ely that 2evo$e's g$eat*g$andfathe$
and 'y own would have had anything to do with each othe$ in any case7 the old $ip had %een twice
'y age, and that 'eant the gene$ations didn't 'atch up!
.ut if he had %een totally w$ong, what had 6o %een on a%outB
'i#eB' Sid as#ed! 'A$e you the$eB'
',eah!'
'A$e you o#ayB ,ou don't sound so g$eat, " have to tell you!'
'"t's the heat,' " said! 'Not to 'ention you$ sense of i'pending doo'! Than#s fo$ calling, Siddy!'
'Than#s fo$ %eing the$e, %$othe$!'
'1ic#in,' " said!
" went out to the #itchen to get a glass of cold wate$! As " was filling it, " hea$d the 'agnets on the
f$idge %egin sliding a$ound! " whi$led, spilling so'e of the wate$ on 'y %a$e feet and ha$dly
noticing! " was as excited as a #id who thin#s he 'ay gli'pse Santa 3laus %efo$e he shoots %ac# up
the chi'ney!
" was %a$ely in ti'e to see nine plastic lette$s d$awn into the ci$cle f$o' all points of the
co'pass! 3AR8A2EAN, they spelled ! ! ! %ut only fo$ a second! So'e p$esence, t$e'endous %ut
unseen, shot past 'e! Not a hai$ on 'y head sti$$ed, %ut the$e was still a st$ong sense of %eing
%uffeted, the way you'$e %uffeted %y the ai$ of a passing exp$ess t$ain if you'$e standing nea$ the
platfo$' yellow*line when the t$ain %olts th$ough! " c$ied out in su$p$ise and g$oped 'y glass of
wate$ %ac# onto the counte$, spilling it! " no longe$ felt in need of cold wate$, %ecause the
te'pe$atu$e in the #itchen of Sa$a 8aughs had d$opped off the ta%le!
" %lew out 'y %$eath and saw vapo$, as you do on a cold day in 6anua$y! One puff, 'ay%e two,
and it was gone + %ut it had %een the$e, all $ight, and fo$ pe$haps five seconds the fil' of sweat on
'y %ody tu$ned to what felt li#e a sli'e of ice!
3AR8A2EAN exploded outwa$d in all di$ections + it was li#e watching an ato' %eing s'ashed
in a ca$toon! agneti=ed lette$s, f$uits, and vegeta%les flew off the f$ont of the $ef$ige$ato$ and
scatte$ed ac$oss the #itchen! 9o$ a 'o'ent the fu$y which fuelled that scatte$ing was so'ething "
could al'ost taste, li#e gunpowde$!
And so'ething gave way %efo$e it, going with a sighing, $ueful whispe$ " had hea$d %efo$eD '2h
#ike( 2h #ike(' "t was the voice "'d caught on the e'o*Sc$i%e$ tape, and although " hadn't %een
su$e then, " was now + it was 6o's voice!
.ut who was the othe$ oneB (hy had it scatte$ed the lette$sB
3a$la 2ean! Not .ill's wife7 that was ,vette! His 'othe$B His g$and'othe$B
" wal#ed slowly th$ough the #itchen, collecting f$idge*'agnets li#e p$i=es in a scavenge$ hunt
and stic#ing the' %ac# on the 1en'o$e %y the handful! Nothing snatched the' out of 'y hands7
nothing f$o=e the sweat on the %ac# of 'y nec#7 .unte$'s %ell didn't $ing! Still, " wasn't alone, and "
#new it!
3AR8A2EAND 6o had wanted 'e to #now!
So'ething else hadn't! So'ething else had shot past 'e li#e the (a%ash 3annon%all, t$ying to
scatte$ the lette$s %efo$e " could $ead the'!
6o was he$e7 a %oy who wept in the night was he$e, too!
And what elseB
(hat else was sha$ing 'y house with 'eB
3HA0TER T(ENT,
" didn't see the' at fi$st, which wasn't su$p$ising7 it see'ed that half of 3astle Roc# was on the
town co''on as that sult$y Satu$day afte$noon edged on towa$d evening! The ai$ was %$ight with
ha=y 'idsu''e$ light, and in it #ids swa$'ed ove$ the playg$ound e)uip'ent, a nu'%e$ of old
'en in %$ight $ed vests + so'e so$t of clu%, " assu'ed + played chess, and a g$oup of young
people lay on the g$ass listening to a teenage$ in a head%and playing the guita$ and singing one "
$e'e'%e$ed f$o' an old "an and Sylvia $eco$d, a chee$y tune that went
'4lla Speed was ha&in her lo&in fun'
0ohn #artin shot 4lla with a olt forty*one ( ( ( '
" saw no &ogge$s, and no dogs chasing 9$is%ees! "t was &ust too godda' hot!
" was tu$ning to loo# at the %andshell, whe$e an eight*'an co'%o called The 3astle Roc#e$s was
setting up -" had an idea '"n the ood' was a%out as close as they got to $oc# and $oll/, when a s'all
pe$son hit 'e f$o' %ehind, g$a%%ing 'e &ust a%ove the #nees and al'ost du'ping 'e on the g$ass!
'5otchaC' the s'all pe$son c$ied gleefully!
'1y$a 2evo$eC' attie called, sounding %oth a'used and i$$itated! ',ou'll #noc# hi' downC'
" tu$ned, d$opped the g$ease*spotted c2onald's %ag " had %een ca$$ying, and lifted the #id up! "t
felt natu$al, and it felt wonde$ful! ,ou don't $eali=e the weight of a healthy child until you hold one,
no$ do you fully co'p$ehend the life that $uns th$ough the' li#e a %$ight wi$e! " didn't get cho#ed
up -'2on't go all co$ny on 'e, i#e,' Siddy would so'eti'es whispe$ when we we$e #ids at the
'ovies and " got wet*eyed at a sad pa$t/, %ut " thought of 6o, yes! And the child she had %een
ca$$ying when she fell down in that stupid pa$#ing lot, yes to that, too!
1i was s)uealing and laughing, he$ a$'s outsp$ead and he$ hai$ hanging down in two a'using
clu'ps accented %y Raggedy Ann and Andy %a$$ettes!
'2on't tac#le you$ own )ua$te$%ac#C' " yelled, g$inning, and to 'y delight she yelled it $ight %ac#
at 'eD '2on't taggle ye$ own )ua$te$'ac#C 2on't taggle ye$ own )ua$te$'ac#C'
" set he$ on he$ feet, %oth of us laughing! 1i too# a step %ac#wa$d, t$ipped he$self, and sat down
on the g$ass, laughing ha$de$ than eve$! " had a 'ean thought, then, %$ief %ut oh so clea$D if only the
old li=a$d could see how 'uch he was 'issed! How sad we we$e at his passing!
attie wal#ed ove$, and tonight she loo#ed as "'d half*i'agined he$ when " fi$st 'et he$ + li#e
one of those lovely child$en of p$ivilege you see at the count$y clu%, eithe$ goofing with thei$
f$iends o$ sitting se$iously at dinne$ with thei$ pa$ents! She was in a white sleeveless d$ess and low
heels, he$ hai$ falling loose a$ound he$ shoulde$s, a touch of lipstic# on he$ 'outh! He$ eyes had a
%$illiance in the' that hadn't %een the$e %efo$e! (hen she hugged 'e " could s'ell he$ pe$fu'e
and feel the p$ess of he$ fi$' little %$easts!
" #issed he$ chee#7 she #issed 'e high up on the &aw, 'a#ing a s'ac# in 'y ea$ that " felt all the
way down 'y %ac#! 'Say things a$e going to %e %ette$ now,' she whispe$ed, still holding 'e!
'8ots %ette$ now,' " said, and she hugged 'e again, tight! Then she stepped away ',ou %ette$ have
%$ought plenty food, %ig %oy, %ecause we plenty hung$y wo'ens! Right, 1y$aB'
'" taggled 'y own )ua$te$'ac#,' 1i said, then leaned %ac# on he$ el%ows, giggling deliciously at
the %$ight and ha=y s#y!
'3o'e on,' " said, and g$a%%ed he$ %y the 'iddle " toted he$ that way to a nea$%y picnic ta%le, 1i
#ic#ing he$ legs and waving he$ a$'s and laughing " set he$ down on the %ench7 she slid off it and
%eneath the ta%le, %oneless as an eel and still laughing!
'All $ight, 1y$a Eli=a%eth,' attie said! 'Sit up and show the othe$ side'
'5ood gi$l, good gi$l,' she said, cla'%e$ing up %eside 'e! 'That's the othe$ side to 'e, i#e'
'"'' su$e,' " said! "nside the %ag the$e we$e .ig acs and f$ies fo$ attie and 'e! 9o$ 1i the$e
was a colo$ful %ox upon which Ronald c2onald and his unindicted co*conspi$ato$s cape$ed!
'attie, " got a Happy ealC i#e got 'e a Happy ealC They have toysC'
'(ell see what you$s is!'
1y$a opened the %ox, po#ed a$ound, then s'iled "t lit up he$ whole face She %$ought out
so'ething that " at fi$st thought was a %ig dust*%all 9o$ one ho$$i%le second " was %ac# in 'y
d$ea', the one of 6o unde$ the %ed with the %oo# ove$ he$ face -i&e me that, she had sna$led 1t's
my dust*catcher! And so'ething else, too + so'e othe$ association, pe$haps f$o' so'e othe$
d$ea' " couldn't get hold of it!
'i#eB' attie as#ed! 3u$iosity in he$ voice, and 'ay%e %o$de$line conce$n!
'"t's a doggyC' 1i said '" won a doggy in 'y Happy ealC'
,es7 of cou$se A dog! A little stuffed dog! And it was g$ay, not %lac# ! ! ! although why "'d ca$e
a%out the colo$ eithe$ way " didn't #now!
'That's a p$etty good p$i=e,' " said, ta#ing it! "t was soft, which was good, and it was g$ay, which
was %ette$ .eing g$ay 'ade it all $ight, so'ehow 3$a=y %ut t$ue " handed it %ac# to he$ and s'iled!
'(hat's his na'eB' 1i as#ed, &u'ping the little dog %ac# and fo$th ac$oss he$ Happy eal %ox!
'(hat doggy's na'e, i#eB'
And, without thin#ing, " said, 'St$ic#land!'
" thought she'd loo# pu==led, %ut she didn't! She loo#ed delighted! 'St$ic#enC' she said, %ouncing
the dog %ac# and fo$th in eve$*highe$ leaps ove$ the %ox! 'St$ic#enC St$ic#enC y dog St$ic#enC'
'(ho's this guy St$ic#landB' attie as#ed, s'iling a little! She had %egun to unw$ap he$
ha'%u$ge$!
'A cha$acte$ in a %oo# " $ead once,' " said, watching 1i play with the little puff%all dog! 'No one
$eal!'
'y g$a'pa died,' she said five 'inutes late$!
(e we$e still at the picnic ta%le %ut the food was 'ostly gone! St$ic#land the stuffed puff%all had
%een set to gua$d the $e'aining f$ench f$ies! " had %een scanning the e%% and flow of people,
wonde$ing who was he$e f$o' the TR o%se$ving ou$ t$yst and si'ply %u$ning to ca$$y the news
%ac# ho'e! " saw no one " #new, %ut that didn't 'ean a whole tot, conside$ing how long "'d %een
away f$o' this pa$t of the wo$ld!
attie put down he$ %u$ge$ and loo#ed at 1i with so'e anxiety, %ut " thought the #id was o#ay
+ she had %een giving news, not exp$essing g$ief!
'" #now he did,' " said!
'5$a'pa was awful old!' 1i pinched a couple of f$ench f$ies %etween he$ pudgy little finge$s!
They $ose to he$ 'outh, then gloop, all gone! 'He's with 8o$d 6esus now! (e had all a%out 8o$d
6esus in 4.S!'
,es' @i, " thought, right now -rampy's probably teaching %ord 0esus how to use 6i$el 4asel and
asking if there might be a whore handy!
'8o$d 6esus wal#ed on wate$ and also changed the wine into 'aca$oni!'
',es, so'ething li#e that,' " said! '"t's sad when people die, isn't itB'
'"t would %e sad if attie died, and it would %e sad if you died, %ut 5$a'py was old!' She said it
as though " hadn't )uite g$asped this concept the fi$st ti'e! '"n heaven he'll get all fixed up!'
'That's a good way to loo# at it, hon,' " said!
attie did 'aintenance on 1i's d$ooping %a$$ettes, wo$#ing ca$efully and with a #ind of a%sent
love! " thought she glowed in the su''e$ light, he$ s#in in s'ooth, tanned cont$ast to the white
d$ess she had p$o%a%ly %ought at one of the discount sto$es, and " unde$stood that " loved he$!
ay%e that was all $ight!
'" 'iss the white nana, though,' 1i said, and this ti'e she did loo# sad! She pic#ed up the stuffed
dog, t$ied to feed hi' a f$ench f$y, then put hi' down again! He$ s'all, p$etty face loo#ed pensive
now, and " could see a whispe$ of he$ g$andfathe$ in it! "t was fa$ %ac# %ut it was the$e, pe$cepti%le,
anothe$ ghost! 'o' says white nana went %ac# to 3alifo$nia with 5$a'py's ea$ly $e'ains!'
'4arthly $e'ains, 1i*%i$d,' attie said! 'That 'eans his %ody!'
'(ill white nana co'e %ac# and see 'e, i#eB'
'" don't #now!'
'(e had a ga'e! "t was all $hy'es!' She loo#ed 'o$e pensive than eve$!
',ou$ 'o' told 'e a%out that ga'e,' " said!
'She won't %e %ac#,' 1i said, answe$ing he$ own )uestion! One ve$y la$ge tea$ $olled down he$
$ight chee#! She pic#ed up 'St$ic#en,' stood hi' on his %ac# legs fo$ a second, then put hi' %ac# on
gua$d*duty! attie slipped an a$' a$ound he$, %ut 1i didn't see' to notice! '(hite nana didn't
$eally li#e 'e! She was &ust p$etending to li#e 'e! That was he$ )ob!'
attie and " exchanged a glance!
'(hat 'a#es you say thatB' " as#ed!
'2on't #now,' 1i said! Ove$ %y whe$e the #id was playing the guita$, a &uggle$ in whiteface had
sta$ted up, wo$#ing with half a do=en colo$ed %alls! 1y$a %$ightened a little! 'o''y*%o''y, 'ay
" go watch that funny white 'anB'
'A$e you done eatingB'
',eah, "'' full!'
'Than# i#e!'
'2on't taggle ye$ own )ua$te$'ac#,' she said, then laughed #indly to show she was &ust pulling
'y leg! 'Than#s, i#e!'
'Not a p$o%le',' " said, and then, %ecause that sounded a little old*fashionedD '1ic#in!'
',ou can go as fa$ as that t$ee, %ut no fa$the$,' attie said! 'And you #now why!'
'So you can see 'e! " will!'
She g$a%%ed St$ic#land and sta$ted to $un off, then stopped and loo#ed ove$ he$ shoulde$ at 'e! '"
guess it was the f$idgeafato$ people,' she said, then co$$ected he$self ve$y ca$efully and se$iously!
'The ree fridge*a*rator people!' y hea$t too# a ha$d dou%le %eat in 'y chest!
'"t was the $ef$ige$ato$ people what, 1iB' " as#ed!
'That said white nana didn't $eally li#e 'e!' Then she $an off towa$d the &uggle$, o%livious to the
heat!
attie watched he$ go, then tu$ned %ac# to 'e! '" haven't tal#ed to any%ody a%out 1i's
f$idgeafato$ people! Neithe$ has she, until now! Not that the$e a$e any $eal people, %ut the lette$s
see' to 'ove a$ound %y the'selves! "t's li#e a Oui&a %oa$d!'
'2o they spell thingsB'
9o$ a long ti'e she said nothing! Then she nodded! 'Not always, %ut so'eti'es!' Anothe$ pause!
'#ost ti'es, actually! 1i calls it 'ail f$o' the people in the $ef$ige$ato$!' She s'iled, %ut he$ eyes
we$e a little sca$ed! 'A$e they special 'agnetic lette$s, do you thin#B O$ have we got a polte$geist
wo$#ing the la#ef$ontB'
'" don't #now! "'' so$$y " %$ought the', if they'$e a p$o%le'!'
'2on't %e silly! ,ou gave the' to he$, and you'$e a t$e'endously %ig deal to he$ $ight now! She
tal#s a%out you all the ti'e! She was 'uch 'o$e inte$ested in pic#ing out so'ething p$etty to wea$
fo$ you tonight than she was in he$ g$andfathe$'s death! " was supposed to wea$ so'ething p$etty,
too, 1y$a insisted! She's not that way a%out people, usually + she ta#es the' when they'$e the$e
and leaves the' when they'$e gone! That's not such a %ad way fo$ a little gi$l to g$ow up, "
so'eti'es thin#!'
',ou %oth d$essed p$etty,' " said! 'That 'uch "'' su$e of!'
'Than#s!' She loo#ed fondly at 1i, who stood %y the t$ee watching the &uggle$! He had put his
$u%%e$ %alls aside and 'oved on to "ndian clu%s! Then she loo#ed %ac# at 'e! 'A$e we done eatingB'
" nodded, and attie %egan to pic# up the t$ash and stuff it %ac# into the ta#e*out %ag! " helped,
and when ou$ finge$s touched, she g$ipped 'y hand and s)uee=ed! 'Than# you,' she said! '9o$
eve$ything you've done! Than# you so da'n 'uch!'
" s)uee=ed %ac#, then let go!
',ou #now,' she said, 'it's c$ossed 'y 'ind that 1y$a's 'oving the lette$s a$ound he$self!
entally!'
'Tele#inesisB'
'" guess that's the technical te$'! Only 1i can't spell 'uch 'o$e than KdogK and Kcat!''
'(hat's showing up on the f$idgeB'
'Na'es, 'ostly! Once it was you$s! Once it was you$ wife's!'
'6oB'
'The whole thing + 6OANNA! And NANA! Rogette, " p$esu'e! 6ARE2 shows up so'eti'es, and
.R"25ET! Once the$e was 1"TO!' She spelled it!
'1ito,' " said, and thoughtD @yra' @ia' @ito( What is this? 'A %oy's na'e, do you thin#B'
'" #now it is! "t's Swahili, and 'eans p$ecious child! " loo#ed it up in 'y %a%y*na'e %oo#!' She
glanced towa$d he$ own p$ecious child as we wal#ed ac$oss the g$ass to the nea$est t$ash %a$$el!
'Any othe$s that you can $e'e'%e$B'
She thought! 'RE5 has showed up a couple of ti'es! And once the$e was 3AR8A! ,ou unde$stand
that 1i can't even $ead these na'es as a $ule, don't youB She has to as# 'e what they say!'
'Has it occu$$ed to you that 1y$a 'ight %e copying the' out of a %oo# o$ a 'aga=ineB That she's
lea$ning to w$ite using the 'agnetic lette$s on the f$idge instead of pape$ and pencilB'
'" suppose that's possi%le ! ! ! ' She didn't loo# as if she %elieved it, though! Not su$p$ising! " didn't
%elieve it 'yself!
'" 'ean, you've neve$ actually seen the lette$s 'oving a$ound %y the'selves on the f$ont of the
f$idge, have youB' " hoped " sounded as unconce$ned as#ing this )uestion as " wanted to!
She laughed a %it ne$vously! '5od, noC'
'Anything elseB'
'So'eti'es the f$idgeafato$ people leave 'essages li#e H" and .,E and 5OO2 5"R8! The$e was
one yeste$day that " w$ote down to show you! 1y$a as#ed 'e to! "t's really wei$d!'
'(hat is itB'
'"'d $athe$ show you, %ut " left it in the glove co'pa$t'ent of the Scout! Re'ind 'e when we go!'
,es! " would!
'This is so'e spoo#y shit, se K or ,' she said! '8i#e the w$iting in the flou$ that ti'e!'
" thought a%out telling he$ " had 'y own f$idgeafato$ people, then didn't! She had enough to
wo$$y a%out without that ! ! ! o$ so " told 'yself!
(e stood side*%y*side on the g$ass, watching 1i watch the &uggle$! '2id you call 6ohnB' " as#ed!
',ou %et!'
'His $eactionB'
She tu$ned to 'e, laughing with he$ eyes! 'He actually sang a ve$se of K2ing 2ong, the (itch "s
2ead!''
'($ong sex, $ight senti'ent!'
She nodded, he$ eyes going %ac# to 1y$a! " thought again how %eautiful she loo#ed, he$ %ody
sli' in the white d$ess, he$ featu$es clean and pe$fectly 'ade!
'(as he pissed at 'e inviting 'yself to lunchB' " as#ed!
'Nope, he loved the idea of having a pa$ty!'
A pa$ty! He loved the idea! " %egan to feel $athe$ s'all!
'He even suggested we invite you$ lawye$ f$o' last 9$iday! $! .issonetteB 0lus the p$ivate
detective 6ohn hi$ed on $! .issonette's $eco''endation! "s that o#ay with youB'
'9ine! How a%out you, attieB 2oing o#ayB'
'2oing o#ay,' she ag$eed, tu$ning to 'e! '" did have seve$al 'o$e calls than usual today! "''
suddenly )uite popula$!'
'Uh*oh!'
'ost we$e hangups, %ut one gentle'an too# ti'e enough to call 'e a cunt, and the$e was a lady
with a ve$y st$ong ,an#ee accent who said, 'Theah, you %itch, you've #illed hi'! Aaa you
satisfiedB' She hung up %efo$e " could tell he$ yes, ve$y satisfied, than#s!' .ut attie didn't loo#
satisfied7 she loo#ed unhappy and guilty, as if she had lite$ally wished hi' dead!
'"'' so$$y!'
'"t's o#ay! Really! 1y$a and " have %een alone fo$ a long ti'e, and "'ve %een sca$ed fo$ 'ost of it!
Now "'ve 'ade a couple of f$iends! "f a few anony'ous phone calls a$e the p$ice " have to pay, "'ll
pay it!'
She was ve$y close, loo#ing up at 'e, and " couldn't stop 'yself! " put the %la'e on su''e$, he$
pe$fu'e, and fou$ yea$s without a wo'an! "n that o$de$, i slipped 'y a$'s a$ound he$ waist, and
$e'e'%e$ pe$fectly the textu$e of he$ d$ess %eneath 'y hands7 the slight puc#e$ at the %ac# whe$e
the =ippe$ hid in its sleeve! " $e'e'%e$ the sensation of the cloth 'oving against the %a$e s#in
%eneath! Then " was #issing he$, ve$y gently %ut ve$y tho$oughly + anything wo$th doing is wo$th
doing $ight + and she was #issing 'e %ac# in exactly the sa'e spi$it, he$ 'outh cu$ious %ut not
af$aid! He$ lips we$e wa$' and s'ooth and held so'e faint sweet taste! 0eaches, " thin#!
(e stopped at the sa'e ti'e and pulled %ac# a little f$o' each othe$! He$ hands we$e still on 'y
shoulde$s! ine we$e on the sides of he$ waist, &ust a%ove he$ hips! He$ face was co'posed
enough, %ut he$ eyes we$e 'o$e %$illiant than eve$, and the$e we$e slants of colo$ in he$ chee#s,
$ising along the chee#%ones!
'Oh %oy,' she said! '" $eally wanted that! Eve$ since 1i tac#led you and you pic#ed he$ up "'ve
wanted it!'
'6ohn wouldn't thin# 'uch of us #issing in pu%lic,' " said! y voice wasn't )uite even, and 'y
hea$t was $acing! Seven seconds, one #iss, and eve$y syste' in 'y %ody was $ed*lining! '"n fact,
6ohn wouldn't thin# 'uch of us #issing at all! He fancies you, you #now!'
'" #now, %ut " fancy you!' She tu$ned to chec# on 1i, who was still standing o%ediently %y the
t$ee, watching the &uggle$! (ho 'ight %e watching usB So'eone who had co'e ove$ f$o' the TR
on a hot su''e$ evening to get ice c$ea' at 9$an#'s Tas*T*9$ee=e and en&oy a little 'usic and
society on the co''onB So'eone who t$aded fo$ f$esh vegeta%les and f$esh gossip at the 8a#eview
5ene$alB A $egula$ at the All*0u$pose 5a$ageB This was insanity, and it stayed insanity no 'atte$
how you cut it! " d$opped 'y hands f$o' he$ waist!
'attie, they could put ou$ pictu$e next to Kindisc$eetK in the dictiona$y!'
She too# he$ hands off 'y shoulde$s and stepped %ac# a pace, %ut he$ %$illiant eyes neve$ left
'ine! '" #now that! "'' young %ut not enti$ely stupid!'
'" didn't 'ean + '
She held up a hand to stop 'e! '1i goes to %ed a$ound nine + she can't see' to sleep until it's
'ostly da$#! " stay up late$! 3o'e and visit 'e, if you want to! ,ou can pa$# a$ound %ac#!' She
s'iled a little! "t was a sweet s'ile7 it was also inc$edi%ly sexy! 'Once the 'oon's down, that's an
a$ea of disc$etion!'
'attie, you'$e young enough to %e 'y daughte$!'
'ay%e, %ut "'' not! And so'eti'es people can %e too disc$eet fo$ thei$ own good!'
y %ody #new so e'phatically what it wanted! "f we had %een in he$ t$aile$ at that 'o'ent it
would have %een no contest! "t was al'ost no contest anyway! Then so'ething $ecu$$ed to 'e,
so'ething "'d thought a%out 2evo$e's ancesto$s and 'y ownD the gene$ations didn't 'atch up!
(asn't the sa'e thing t$ue he$eB And " don't %elieve that people auto'atically have a $ight to what
they want, no 'atte$ how %adly they want it! Not eve$y thi$st should %e sla#ed! So'e things a$e &ust
w$ong + " guess that's what "'' t$ying to say! .ut " wasn't su$e this was one of the', and " wanted
he$, all $ight! So 'uch! " #ept thin#ing a%out how he$ d$ess had slid when " put 'y a$'s a$ound he$
waist, the wa$' feel of he$ s#in &ust %eneath! And no, she wasn't 'y daughte$!
',ou said you$ than#s,' " told he$ in a d$y voice! 'And that's enough! Really!'
',ou thin# this is gratitude?' She voiced a low, tense laugh! ',ou'$e fo$ty, i#e, not eighty!
,ou'$e not Ha$$ison 9o$d, %ut you'$e a good*loo#ing 'an! Talented and inte$esting, too! And " li#e
you such an awful lot! " want you to %e with 'e! 2o you want 'e to say pleaseB 9ine! 0lease %e
with 'e!'
,es, this was a%out 'o$e than g$atitude + " suppose "'d #nown that even when " was using the
wo$d! "'d #nown she was wea$ing white sho$ts and a halte$ top when she called on the phone the
day " went %ac# to wo$#! Had she also #nown what " was wea$ingB Had she d$ea'ed she was in
%ed with 'e, the two of us sc$ewing ou$ %$ains out while the pa$ty lights shone and Sa$a Tidwell
played he$ ve$sion of the white nana $hy'ing ga'e, all that c$a=y ande$ley*sande$ley*cande$ley
stuffB! Had attie d$ea'ed of telling 'e to do what she wantedB
And the$e we$e the f$idgeafato$ people! They we$e anothe$ #ind of sha$ing, an even spoo#ie$
#ind! " hadn't )uite had ne$ve enough to tell attie a%out 'ine, %ut she 'ight #now anyway! 2own
low in he$ 'ind! 2own %elow in he$ 'ind, whe$e the %lue*colla$ guys 'oved a$ound in the =one!
He$ guys and 'y guys, all pa$t of the sa'e st$ange la%o$ union! And 'ay%e it wasn't an issue of
'o$ality per se at all! So'e thing a%out it + a%out us + &ust felt dange$ous!
And oh so att$active!
'" need ti'e to thin#,' " said!
'This isn't a%out what you thin#! (hat do you feel fo$ 'eB'
'So 'uch it sca$es 'e!'
.efo$e " could say anything else, 'y ea$s caught a fa'ilia$ se$ies of cho$d*changes! " tu$ned
towa$d the #id with the guita$! He had %een wo$#ing th$ough a $epe$toi$e of ea$ly 2ylan, %ut now
he swung into so'ething chuggy and up*te'po, so'ething that 'ade you want to g$in and pat you$
hands togethe$!
'Do you want to go fishin
here in my fishin hole?
Said do you want to fish some' honey'
here in my fishin hole?
,ou want to fish in my pond' baby'
you better ha&e a big long pole('
'9ishin .lues!' ($itten %y Sa$a Tidwell, o$iginally pe$fo$'ed %y Sa$a and the Red*Top .oys,
cove$ed %y eve$yone f$o' a Rainey to the 8ovin' Spoonful! The $aunchy ones had %een he$
specialty, dou%le*entend$e so thin you could $ead a newspape$ th$ough it ! ! ! although $eading
hadn't %een Sa$a's 'ain inte$est, &udging %y he$ ly$ics!
.efo$e the #id could go on to the next ve$se, so'ething a%out how you got to wiggle when you
wo%%le and get that %ig one way down deep, The 3astle Roc#e$s $an off a %$ass flou$ish that said
'Shut up, eve$y%ody, we'$e co'in atcha!' The #id )uit playing his guita$7 the &uggle$ %egan catching
his "ndian clu%s and d$opping the' swiftly onto the g$ass in a line! The Roc#e$s launched
the'selves into an ext$e'ely evil Sousa 'a$ch, 'usic to co''it se$ial 'u$de$s %y, and 1y$a ca'e
$unning %ac# to us!
'The &ugste$'s done! (ill you tell 'e the sto$y, i#eB Hansel and 0an=elB'
'"t's Hansel and -retel,' " said, 'and "'ll %e happy to! .ut let's go whe$e it's a little )uiete$, o#ayB
The %and is giving 'e a headache!'
'usic hu$t you$ headieB'
'A little %it!'
'(e'll go %y attie's ca$, then!'
'5ood thought!'
1y$a $an ahead to sta#e out a %ench on the edge of the co''on! attie gave 'e a long wa$'
loo#, then he$ hand! " too# it! Ou$ finge$s folded togethe$ as if they had %een doing it fo$ yea$s! "
thought, 1'd like it to be slow' both of us hardly mo&ing at all( At first' anyway( And would 1 bring
my nicest' longest pole? 1 think you could count on that! And then, afte$wa$d, we'd tal#! ay%e
until we could see the fu$nitu$e in the fi$st ea$ly light! (hen you'$e in %ed with so'eone you love,
pa$ticula$ly fo$ the fi$st ti'e, five o'cloc# see's al'ost holy!
',ou need a vacation f$o' you$ own thoughts,' attie said! '" %et 'ost w$ite$s do f$o' ti'e to
ti'e!'
'That's p$o%a%ly t$ue!'
'" wish we we$e ho'e,' she said, and " couldn't tell if he$ fie$ceness was $eal o$ p$etend! '"'d #iss
you until this whole conve$sation %eca'e i$$elevant! And if the$e we$e second thoughts, at least
you'd %e having the' in 'y %ed!'
" tu$ned 'y face into the $ed light of the weste$ing sun! 'He$e o$ the$e, at this hou$ 1i would still
%e up!'
'T$ue,' she said, sounding uncha$acte$istically glu'! 'T$ue!'
1y$a $eached a %ench nea$ the sign $eading TO(N 3OON 0AR1"N5 and cli'%ed up on it,
holding the little stuffed dog f$o' ic#ey 2's in one hand! " t$ied to pull 'y hand away as we
app$oached he$ and attie held it fi$'! '"t's all $ight, i#e! At 4.S they hold hands with thei$
f$iends eve$ywhe$e they go! "t's %ig people who 'a#e it into a %ig deal!'
She stopped, loo#ed at 'e!
'" want you to #now so'ething! ay%e it won't 'atte$ to you, %ut it does to 'e! The$e wasn't
anyone %efo$e 8ance and no one afte$! "f you co'e to 'e, you'll %e 'y second! "'' not going to
tal# with you a%out this again, eithe$! Saying please is all $ight, %ut " won't %eg!'
'" don't + '
'The$e's a pot with to'ato plants in it %y the t$aile$ steps! "'ll leave a #ey unde$ it! 2on't thin#!
6ust co'e!'
'Not tonight, attie! " can't!'
',ou can,' she $eplied!
'Hu$$y up, slowpo#esC' 1y$a c$ied, %ouncing on the %ench!
'.e's the slow oneC' attie called %ac#, and po#ed 'e in the $i%s! Then, in a 'uch lowe$ voiceD
',ou are, too!' She unwound he$ hand f$o' 'ine and $an towa$d he$ daughte$, he$ %$own legs
scisso$ing %elow the he' of the white d$ess!
"n 'y ve$sion of 'Hansel and 5$etel' the witch was na'ed 2ep$avia! 1y$a sta$ed at 'e with huge
eyes when " got to the pa$t whe$e 2ep$avia as#s Hansel to po#e out his finge$ so she can see how
plu'p he's getting!
'"s it too sca$yB' " as#ed!
1i shoo# he$ head e'phatically! " glanced at attie to 'a#e su$e! She nodded and waved a hand
fo$ 'e to go on, so " finished the sto$y! 2ep$avia went into the oven and 5$etel found he$ sec$et
stash of winning lotte$y tic#ets! The #ids %ought a 6et S#i and lived happily eve$ afte$ on the
easte$n side of 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e! .y then The 3astle Roc#e$s we$e slaughte$ing 5e$shwin and
sunset was nigh! " ca$$ied 1y$a to Scoutie and st$apped he$ in! " $e'e'%e$ed the fi$st ti'e "'d
helped put the #id into he$ ca$*seat, and the inadve$tent p$ess of attie's %$east!
'" hope the$e isn't a %ad d$ea' fo$ you in that sto$y,' " said! Until " hea$d it co'ing out of 'y own
'outh, " hadn't $eali=ed how funda'entally awful that one is!
'" won't have %ad d$ea's,' 1y$a said 'atte$*of*factly! 'The f$idgeafato$ people will #eep the'
away!' Then, ca$efully, $e'inding he$selfD 'Ree*fridge*a*rator!' She tu$ned to attie! 'Show hi' the
c$osspatch, o''y*%o''y!'
'3$ossword! .ut than#s, " would've fo$gotten!' She thu'%ed open the glove co'pa$t'ent and
too# out a folded sheet of pape$! '"t was on the f$idge this 'o$ning! " copied it down %ecause 1i
said you'd #now what it 'eant! She said you do c$osswo$d pu==les! (ell, she said c$osspatches, %ut
" got the idea!'
Had " told 1y$a that " did c$osswo$dsB Al'ost ce$tainly not! 2id it su$p$ise 'e that she #newB
Not at all! " too# the sheet of pape$, unfolded it, and loo#ed at what was p$inted the$eD
d
go
w
ninetyF
'"s it a c$osspatch pu==le, i#eB' 1y$a as#ed!
'" guess so + a ve$y si'ple one! .ut if it 'eans so'ething, " don't #now what it is! ay " #eep
thisB'
',es,' attie said!
" wal#ed he$ a$ound to the d$ive$'s side of the Scout, $eaching fo$ he$ hand again as we went!
'6ust give 'e a little ti'e! " #now that's supposed to %e the gi$l's line, %ut + '
'Ta#e the ti'e,' she said! '6ust don't ta#e too 'uch!'
" didn't want to ta#e any, which was &ust the p$o%le'! The sex would %e g$eat, " #new that! .ut
afte$B
The$e 'ight be an afte$, though! " #new it and she did, too! (ith attie, 'afte$' was a $eal
possi%ility! The idea was a little sca$y, a little wonde$ful!
" #issed the co$ne$ of he$ 'outh! She laughed and g$a%%ed 'e %y the ea$lo%e! ',ou can do %ette$,'
she said, then loo#ed at 1i, who was sitting in he$ ca$*seat and ga=ing at us inte$estedly! '.ut "'ll let
you off this ti'e!'
'1iss 1iC' 1y$a called, holding out he$ a$'s, so " went a$ound and #issed 1i! 2$iving ho'e,
wea$ing 'y da$# glasses to cut the gla$e of the setting sun, it occu$$ed to 'e that 'ay%e " could %e
1y$a 2evo$e's fathe$! That see'ed al'ost as att$active to 'e as going to %ed with he$ 'othe$,
which was a 'easu$e of how deep " was in! And going deepe$, 'ay%e!
2eepe$ still!
Sa$a 8aughs see'ed ve$y e'pty afte$ having attie in 'y a$'s + a sleeping head without
d$ea's! " chec#ed the lette$s on the f$idge, saw nothing the$e %ut the no$'al scatte$, and got a %ee$!
" went out on the dec# to d$in# it while " watched the last of the sunset! " t$ied to thin# a%out the
$ef$ige$ato$ people and c$osspatches that had appea$ed on %oth $ef$ige$ato$sD 'go down nineteen' on
8ane 9o$ty*two and 'go down ninety*two' on (asp Hill Road! 2iffe$ent vecto$s f$o' the land to the
la#eB 2iffe$ent spots on The St$eetB Shit, who #newB
" t$ied to thin# a%out 6ohn Sto$$ow and how unhappy he was apt to %e if he found out the$e was
+ to )uote Sa$a 8aughs, who got to the line long %efo$e 6ohn ellenca'p + anothe$ 'ule #ic#ing
in attie 2evo$e's stall! .ut 'ostly what " thought a%out was holding he$ fo$ the fi$st ti'e, #issing
he$ fo$ the fi$st ti'e! No hu'an instinct is 'o$e powe$ful than the sex*d$ive when it is fully
a$oused, and its awa#ening i'ages a$e e'otional tattoos that neve$ leave us! 9o$ 'e, it was feeling
the soft %a$e s#in of he$ waist &ust %eneath he$ d$ess! The slippe$y feel of the fa%$ic ! ! !
" tu$ned a%$uptly and hu$$ied th$ough the house to the no$th wing, al'ost $unning and shedding
clothes as " went! " tu$ned the showe$ on to full cold and stood unde$ it fo$ five 'inutes, shive$ing!
(hen " got out " felt a little 'o$e li#e an actual hu'an %eing and a little less li#e a twitching %undle
of ne$ve endings! And as " toweled d$y, so'ething else $ecu$$ed to 'e! At so'e point " had thought
of 6o's %$othe$ 9$an#, had thought that if anyone %esides 'yself would %e a%le to feel 6o's p$esence
in Sa$a 8aughs, it would %e hi'! " hadn't gotten a$ound to inviting hi' down yet, and now wasn't
su$e " wanted to! " had co'e to feel oddly possessive, al'ost &ealous, a%out what was happening
he$e! And yet if 6o had %een w$iting so'ething on the )uiet, 9$an# 'ight #now! Of cou$se she
hadn't confided in hi' a%out the p$egnancy, %ut +
" loo#ed at 'y watch! Nua$te$ past nine! "n the t$aile$ nea$ the inte$section of (asp Hill Road
and Route L?, 1y$a was p$o%a%ly al$eady asleep ! ! ! and he$ 'othe$ 'ight al$eady have put he$
ext$a #ey unde$ the pot nea$ the steps! " thought of he$ in the white d$ess, the swell of he$ hips &ust
%elow 'y hands and the s'ell of he$ pe$fu'e, then pushed the i'ages away! " couldn't spend the
whole night ta#ing cold showe$s! Nua$te$ past nine was still ea$ly enough to call 9$an# A$len!
He pic#ed up on the second $ing, sounding %oth happy to hea$ f$o' 'e and as if he'd gotten
th$ee o$ fou$ cans fu$the$ into the six*pac# than " had so fa$ done! (e passed the usual pleasant$ies
%ac# and fo$th + 'ost of 'y own al'ost enti$ely fictional, " was dis'ayed to find + and he
'entioned that a fa'ous neigh%o$ of 'ine had #ic#ed the %uc#et, acco$ding to the news! Had " 'et
hi'B ,es, " said, $e'e'%e$ing how ax 2evo$e had $un his wheelchai$ at 'e! ,es, "'d 'et hi'!
9$an# wanted to #now what he was li#e! That was ha$d to say, " told hi'! 0oo$ old guy was stuc# in
a wheelchai$ and suffe$ing f$o' e'physe'a!
'0$etty f$ail, huhB' 9$an# as#ed sy'pathetically!
',eah,' " said! '8isten, 9$an#, " called a%out 6o! " was out in he$ studio loo#ing a$ound, and "
found 'y typew$ite$! Since then "'ve #ind of gotten the idea she was w$iting so'ething! "t 'ight
have sta$ted as a little piece a%out ou$ house, then widened! The place is na'ed afte$ Sa$a Tidwell,
you #now! The %lues singe$!'
A long pause! Then 9$an# said, '" #now!' His voice sounded heavy, g$ave!
'(hat else do you #now, 9$an#B'
'That she was sca$ed! " thin# she found out so'ething that sca$ed he$! " thin# that 'ostly %ecause
+ '
That was when the light finally %$o#e! " p$o%a%ly should have #nown f$o' attie's desc$iption,
would have #nown if " hadn't %een so upset! ',ou we$e down he$e with he$, we$en't youB "n 6uly of
:;;<! ,ou went to the soft%all ga'e, then you went %ac# up The St$eet to the house!'
'How do you #now thatB' he al'ost %a$#ed!
'So'eone saw you! A f$iend of 'ine!' " was t$ying not to sound 'ad and not succeeding! " was
'ad, %ut it was a $elieved ange$, the #ind you feel when you$ #id co'es d$agging into the house
with a sha'efaced g$in &ust as you'$e getting $eady to call the cops!
'" al'ost told you a day o$ two %efo$e we %u$ied he$! (e we$e in that pu%, do you $e'e'%e$B'
6ac#'s 0u%, $ight afte$ 9$an# had %eaten the fune$al di$ecto$ down on the p$ice of 6o's coffin!
Su$e " $e'e'%e$ed! " even $e'e'%e$ed the loo# in his eyes when "'d told hi' 6o had %een p$egnant
when she died!
He 'ust have felt the silence spinning out, %ecause he ca'e %ac# sounding anxious! 'i#e, "
hope you didn't get any + '
'(hatB ($ong ideasB " thought 'ay%e she was having an affai$, how's that fo$ a w$ong ideaB
,ou can call that igno%le if you want, %ut " had 'y $easons! The$e was a lot she wasn't telling 'e!
(hat did she tell youB'
'Next to nothing!'
'2id you #now she )uit all he$ %oa$ds and co''itteesB Nuit and neve$ said a wo$d to 'eB'
'No!' " didn't thin# he was lying! (hy would he, at this late dateB '6esus, i#e, if "'d #nown that
+ '
'(hat happened the day you ca'e down he$eB Tell 'e!'
'" was at the p$intshop in Sanfo$d! 6o called 'e f$o' ! ! ! " don't $e'e'%e$, " thin# a $est a$ea on
the tu$npi#e!'
'.etween 2e$$y and the TRB'
',eah! She was on he$ way to Sa$a 8aughs and wanted 'e to 'eet he$ the$e! She told 'e to pa$#
in the d$iveway if " got the$e fi$st, not to go in the house ! ! ! which " could have7 " #now whe$e you
#eep the spa$e #ey!'
Su$e he did, in a Suc$ets tin unde$ the dec#! " had shown hi' 'yself! '2id she say why she didn't
want you to go insideB'
'"t'll sound c$a=y!'
'No it won't! .elieve 'e!'
'She said the house was dange$ous!'
9o$ a 'o'ent the wo$ds &ust hung the$e! Then " as#ed, 'Did you get he$e fi$stB'
'Uh*huh!'
'And waited outsideB'
',es!'
'2id you see o$ sense anything dange$ousB'
The$e was a long pause! At last he said, 'The$e we$e lots of people out on the la#e +
speed%oate$s, wate$*s#ie$s, you #now how it is + %ut all the engine*noise and the laughte$ see'ed
to #ind of ! ! ! stop dead when it got nea$ the house! Have you eve$ noticed that it see's )uiet the$e
even when it's notB'
Of cou$se " had7 Sa$a see'ed to exist in its own =one of silence! '2id it feel dangerous, thoughB'
'No,' he said, al'ost $eluctantly! 'Not to 'e, anyway! .ut it didn't feel exactly e'pty, eithe$! " felt
! ! ! fuc#, " felt watched! " sat on one of those $ail$oad*tie steps and waited fo$ 'y sis! 9inally she
ca'e! She pa$#ed %ehind 'y ca$ and hugged 'e ! ! ! %ut she neve$ too# he$ eyes off the house! "
as#ed he$ what she was up to and she said she couldn't tell 'e, and that " couldn't tell you we'd
%een the$e! She said so'ething li#e, K"f he finds out on his own, then it's 'eant to %e! "'ll have to
tell hi' soone$ o$ late$, anyway! .ut " can't now, %ecause " need his whole attention! " can't get that
while he's wo$#ing!K'
" felt a flush c$awl ac$oss 'y s#in! 'She said that, huhB'
',eah! Then she said she had to go in the house and do so'ething! She wanted 'e to wait
outside! She said if she called, " should co'e on the $un! Othe$wise " should &ust stay whe$e " was!'
'She wanted so'eone the$e in case she got in t$ou%le!'
',eah, %ut it had to %e so'eone who wouldn't as# a lot of )uestions she didn't want to answe$!
That was 'e! " guess that was always 'e!'
'AndB'
'She went inside! " sat on the hood of 'y ca$, s'o#ing ciga$ettes! " was still s'o#ing then! And
you #now, " did sta$t to feel so'ething then that wasn't $ight! As if the$e 'ight %e so'eone in the
house who'd %een waiting fo$ he$, so'eone who didn't li#e he$! ay%e so'eone who wanted to
hu$t he$! 0$o%a%ly " &ust pic#ed that up f$o' 6o + the way he$ ne$ves see'ed all st$ung up, the way
she #ept loo#ing ove$ 'y shoulde$ at the house even while she was hugging 'e + %ut it see'ed
li#e so'ething else! 8i#e a ! ! ! " don't #now ! ! ! '
'8i#e a vi%e!'
',esC' he al'ost shouted! 'A vi%$ation! .ut not a good vi%$ation, li#e in the .each .oys song! A
bad vi%$ation!'
'(hat happenedB'
'" sat and waited! " only s'o#ed two ciga$ettes so " don't guess it could have %een longe$ than
twenty 'inutes o$ half an hou$, %ut it see'ed longe$! " #ept noticing how the sounds f$o' the la#e
see'ed to 'a#e it 'ost of the way up the hill and then &ust #ind of ! ! ! )uit! And how the$e didn't
see' to %e any %i$ds, except fa$ off in the distance!
'Once, she ca'e out! " hea$d the dec# doo$ %ang, and then he$ footsteps on the stai$s ove$ on that
side! " called to he$, as#ed if she was o#ay, and she said fine! She said fo$ 'e to stay whe$e " was!
She sounded a little sho$t of %$eath, as if she was ca$$ying so'ething o$ had %een doing so'e
cho$e!'
'2id she go to he$ studio o$ down to the la#eB'
'" don't #now! She was gone anothe$ fifteen 'inutes o$ so + ti'e enough fo$ 'e to s'o#e
anothe$ %utt + and then she ca'e %ac# out the f$ont doo$! She chec#ed to 'a#e su$e it was loc#ed,
and then she ca'e up to 'e! She loo#ed a lot %ette$! Relieved! The way people loo# when they do
so'e di$ty &o% they've %een putting off, finally get it %ehind the'! She suggested we wal# down
that path she called The St$eet to the $eso$t that's down the$e + '
'(a$$ington's!'
'Right, $ight! She said she'd %uy 'e a %ee$ and a sandwich! (hich she did, out at the end of this
long floating doc#!'
The Sunset .a$, whe$e " had fi$st gli'psed Rogette!
'Then you went to have a loo# at the soft%all ga'e!'
'That was 6o's idea! She had th$ee %ee$s to 'y one, and she insisted! Said so'eone was going to
hit a longshot ho'e$ into the t$ees, she &ust #new it!'
Now " had a clea$ pictu$e of the pa$t attie had seen and told 'e a%out! (hateve$ 6o had done, it
had left he$ al'ost giddy with $elief! She had ventu$ed into the house, fo$ one thing! Had da$ed the
spi$its in o$de$ to do he$ %usiness and su$vived! She'd had th$ee %ee$s to cele%$ate and he$ disc$etion
had slipped ! ! ! not that she had %ehaved with any g$eat stealth on he$ p$evious t$ips down to the
TR! 9$an# $e'e'%e$ed he$ saying if " found out on 'y own then it was 'eant to %e + !ue serL,
serL! "t wasn't the attitude of so'eone hiding an affai$, and " $eali=ed now that all he$ %ehavio$
suggested a wo'an #eeping a sho$t*te$' sec$et! She would have told 'e when " finished 'y stupid
%oo#, if she had lived! "f!
',ou watched the ga'e fo$ awhile, then went %ac# to the house along The St$eet!'
',es,' he said!
'2id eithe$ of you go inB'
'No! .y the ti'e we got the$e, he$ %u== had wo$n off and " t$usted he$ to d$ive! She was laughing
while we we$e at the soft%all ga'e, %ut she wasn't laughing %y the ti'e we got %ac# to the house!
She loo#ed at it and said, K"'' done with he$! "'ll neve$ go th$ough that doo$ again, 9$an#!K'
y s#in fi$st chilled, then p$ic#led!
'" as#ed he$ what was w$ong, what she'd found out! " #new she was w$iting so'ething, she'd told
'e that 'uch + '
'She told eve$yone %ut 'e,' " said ! ! ! %ut without 'uch %itte$ness! " #new who the 'an in the
%$own spo$tcoat had %een, and any %itte$ness o$ ange$ + ange$ at 6o, ange$ at 'yself + paled
%efo$e the $elief of that! " hadn't $eali=ed how 'uch that fellow had %een on 'y 'ind until now!
'She 'ust have had he$ $easons,' 9$an# said! ',ou #now that, don't youB'
'.ut she didn't tell you what they we$e!'
'All " #now is that it sta$ted + whateve$ it was + with he$ doing $esea$ch fo$ an a$ticle! "t was a
la$#, 6o playing Nancy 2$ew! "'' p$etty su$e that at fi$st not telling you was &ust to #eep it a
su$p$ise! She $ead %oo#s %ut 'ostly she tal#ed to people + listened to thei$ sto$ies of the old days
and teased the' into loo#ing fo$ old lette$s ! ! ! dia$ies ! ! ! she was good at that pa$t of it, " thin#!
2a'ned good! ,ou don't #now any of thisB'
'No,' " said heavily! 6o hadn't %een having an affai$, %ut she could have had one, if she'd wanted!
She could have had an! affai$ with To' Sellec# and %een w$itten up in 1nside >iew and " would
have gone on tapping away at the #eys of 'y 0owe$%oo#, %lissfully unawa$e!
'(hateve$ she found out,' 9$an# said, '" thin# she &ust stu'%led ove$ it!'
'And you neve$ told 'e! 9ou$ yea$s and you neve$ told 'e any of it!'
'That was the last ti'e " was with he$,' 9$an# said, and now he didn't sound apologetic o$
e'%a$$assed at all! 'And the last thing she as#ed of 'e was that " not tell you we'd %een to the la#e
house! She said she'd tell you eve$ything when she was $eady, %ut then she died! Afte$ that " didn't
thin# it 'atte$ed! i#e, she was 'y siste$! She was 'y siste$ and " p$o'ised!'
'All $ight! " unde$stand!' And " did + &ust not enough! (hat had 6o discove$edB That No$'al
Auste$ had d$owned his infant son unde$ a handpu'pB That %ac# a$ound the tu$n of the centu$y an
ani'al t$ap had %een left in a place whe$e a young Neg$o %oy would %e apt to co'e along and step
into itB That anothe$ %oy, pe$haps the incestuous child of Son and Sa$a Tidwell, had %een d$owned
%y his 'othe$ in the la#e, she 'ay%e laughing that s'o#e*%$o#en, lunatic laugh as she held hi'
downB ,ou gotta wiggle when you wo%%le, honey, and hold that young 'un way down deep!
'"f you need 'e to apologi=e, i#e, conside$ it done!'
'" don't! 9$an#, do you $e'e'%e$ anything else she 'ight have said that nightB Anything at allB'
'She said she #new how you found the house!'
'She said whatB'
'She said that when it wanted you, it called you!'
At fi$st " couldn't $eply, %ecause 9$an# A$len had co'pletely de'olished one of the assu'ptions
"'d 'ade a%out 'y 'a$$ied life + one of the %iggies, one of those that see' so %asic you don't even
thin# a%out )uestioning the'! 5$avity holds you down! 8ight allows you to see! The co'pass
needle points no$th! Stuff li#e that!
This assu'ption was that 6o was the one who had wanted to %uy Sa$a 8aughs %ac# when we saw
the fi$st $eal 'oney f$o' 'y w$iting ca$ee$, %ecause 6o was the 'house pe$son' in ou$ 'a$$iage, &ust
as " was the 'ca$ pe$son!' 6o was the one who had pic#ed ou$ apa$t'ents when apa$t'ents we$e all
we could affo$d, 6o who hung a pictu$e he$e and as#ed 'e to put up a shelf the$e! 6o was the one
who had fallen in love with the 2e$$y house and had finally wo$n down 'y $esistance to the idea
that it was too %ig, too %usy, and too %$o#en to ta#e on! 6o had %een the nest*%uilde$!
She said that when it wanted you' it called you(
And it was p$o%a%ly t$ue! No, " could do %ette$ than that, if " was willing to set aside the la=y
thin#ing and selective $e'e'%e$ing! "t was certainly t$ue! " was the one who had fi$st %$oached the
idea of a place in weste$n aine! " was the one who collected stac#s of $eal*estate %$ochu$es and
hauled the' ho'e! "'d sta$ted %uying $egional 'aga=ines li#e Down 4ast and always %egan at the
%ac#, whe$e the $eal*estate ads we$e! "t was " who had fi$st seen a pictu$e of Sa$a 8aughs in a
glossy handout called #aine Retreats, and it was " who had 'ade the call fi$st to the agent na'ed
in the ad, and then to a$ie Hinge$'an afte$ %adge$ing a$ie's na'e out of the Realto$!
6ohanna had also %een cha$'ed %y Sa$a 8aughs + " thin# anyone would have %een cha$'ed %y
it, seeing it fo$ the fi$st ti'e in autu'n sunshine with the t$ees %la=ing all a$ound it and d$ifts of
colo$ed leaves %lowing up The St$eet + %ut it was " who had actively sought the place out!
Except that was 'o$e la=y thin#ing and selective $e'e'%e$ing! (asn't itB Sa$a had sought me
out!
"hen how could 1 not ha&e known it until now? And how was 1 led here in the first place' full of
unknowing happy ignorance?
The answe$ to %oth )uestions was the sa'e! "t was also the answe$ to the )uestion of how 6o
could have discove$ed so'ething dist$essing a%out the house, the la#e, 'ay%e the whole TR, and
then gotten away with not telling 'e! "'d %een gone, that's all! "'d %een =oning, t$anced out, w$iting
one of 'y stupid little %oo#s! "'d %een hypnoti=ed %y the fantasies going on in 'y head, and a
hypnoti=ed 'an is easy to lead!
'i#eB A$e you still the$eB'
'"'' he$e, 9$an#! .ut "'ll %e godda'ned if " #now what could have sca$ed he$ so!'
'She 'entioned one othe$ na'e " $e'e'%e$D Royce e$$ill! She said he was the one who
$e'e'%e$ed the 'ost, %ecause he was so old! And she said, K" don't want i#e to tal# to hi'! "''
af$aid that old 'an 'ight let the cat out of the %ag and tell hi' 'o$e than he should #now!K Any
idea what she 'eantB'
'(ell ! ! ! it's %een suggested that a splinte$ f$o' the old fa'ily t$ee wound up he$e, %ut 'y
'othe$'s people a$e f$o' e'phis! The Noonans a$e f$o' aine, %ut not f$o' this pa$t!' ,et " no
longe$ enti$ely %elieved this!
'i#e, you sound al'ost sic#!'
'"'' o#ay! .ette$ than " was, actually!'
'And you unde$stand why " didn't tell you any of this until nowB " 'ean, if "'d #nown the ideas
you we$e getting ! ! ! if "'d had any clue ! ! ! '
'" thin# " unde$stand! The ideas didn't %elong in 'y head to %egin with, %ut once that shit sta$ts to
c$eep in ! ! ! '
'(hen " got %ac# to Sanfo$d that night and it was ove$, " guess " thought it was &ust 'o$e of 6o's
KOh fuc#, the$e's a shadow on the 'oon, no%ody go out until to'o$$ow!K She was always the
supe$stitious one, you #now + #noc#ing on wood, tossing a pinch of salt ove$ he$ shoulde$ if she
spilled so'e, those fou$*leaf*clove$ ea$$ings she used to have ! ! ! '
'O$ the way she wouldn't wea$ a pullove$ if she put it on %ac#wa$d %y 'ista#e,' " said! 'She
clai'ed doing that would tu$n a$ound you$ whole day!'
'(ellB 2oesn't itB' 9$an# as#ed, and " could hea$ a little s'ile in his voice!
All at once " $e'e'%e$ed 6o co'pletely, $ight down to the s'all gold flec#s in he$ left eye, and
wanted no%ody else! No%ody else would do!
'She thought the$e was so'ething %ad a%out the house,' 9$an# said! 'That 'uch " do #now!'
" d$ew a piece of pape$ to 'e and &otted @ia on it! ',es! And %y then she 'ay have suspected she
was p$egnant! She 'ight have %een af$aid of ! ! ! influences!' The$e we$e influences he$e, all $ight!
',ou thin# she got 'ost of this f$o' Royce e$$illB'
'No, that was &ust a na'e she 'entioned! She p$o%a%ly tal#ed to do=ens of people! 2o you #now
a guy na'ed 1loste$B 5loste$B So'ething li#e thatB'
'S#uste$,' " said! .elow @ia 'y pencil was 'a#ing a se$ies of fat loops that 'ight have %een
cu$sive lette$ l's o$ hai$ $i%%ons! '1enny Auste$! (as that itB'
'"t sounds $ight! "n any case, you #now how she was once she $eally got going on a thing!'
,es! 8i#e a te$$ie$ afte$ $ats!
'i#eB Should " co'e up the$eB'
No! Now " was su$e! Not Ha$old O%lows#i, not 9$an#, eithe$! The$e was a p$ocess going on in
Sa$a, so'ething as delicate and as o$ganic as $ising %$ead in a wa$' $oo'! 9$an# 'ight inte$$upt
that p$ocess ! ! ! o$ %e hu$t %y it!
'No, " &ust wanted to get it clea$ed up! .esides, "'' w$iting! "t's ha$d fo$ 'e to have people
a$ound when "'' w$iting!'
'(ill you call if " can helpB'
',ou %et,' " said!
" hung up the telephone, thu'%ed th$ough the %oo#, and found a listing fo$ R! ERR"88 on the
2eep .ay Road! " called the nu'%e$, listened to it $ing a do=en ti'es, then hung up! No newfangled
answe$ing 'achine fo$ Royce! " wonde$ed idly whe$e he was! Ninety*five see'ed a little too old to
go dancing at the 3ount$y .a$n in Ha$$ison, especially on a close night li#e this one!
" loo#ed at the pape$ with @ia w$itten on it! .elow the fat l*shapes " w$ote @yra, and
$e'e'%e$ed how, the fi$st ti'e "'d hea$d 1i say he$ na'e, "'d thought it was '1ia' she was saying!
.elow @yra " w$ote @ito, hesitated, then w$ote arla! " put these na'es in a %ox! .eside the' "
&otted 0ohanna, Bridget, and 0ared! The f$idgeafato$ people! 9ol#s who wanted 'e to go down
nineteen and go down ninety*two!
'5o down, oses, you %ound fo$ the 0$o'ised 8and,' " told the e'pty house! " loo#ed a$ound!
6ust 'e and .unte$ and the waggy cloc# ! ! ! except it wasn't!
When it wanted you' it called you(
" got up to get anothe$ %ee$! The f$uits and vegeta%les we$e in a ci$cle again! "n the 'iddle, the
lette$s now spelledD
lye stille
As on so'e old to'%stones + -od grant she lye stille! " loo#ed at these lette$s fo$ a long ti'e!
Then " $e'e'%e$ed the ". was still out on the dec#! " %$ought it in, plon#ed it on the dining*$oo'
ta%le, and %egan to wo$# on 'y cu$$ent stupid little %oo#! 9ifteen 'inutes and " was lost, only
faintly awa$e of thunde$ so'eplace ove$ the la#e, only faintly awa$e of .unte$'s %ell shive$ing f$o'
ti'e to ti'e! (hen " went %ac# to the f$idge an hou$ o$ so late$ fo$ anothe$ %ee$ and saw that the
wo$ds in the ci$cle now said
ony lye stille
" ha$dly noticed! At that 'o'ent " didn't ca$e if they lay stille o$ danced the huc#le%uc# %y the
light of the silve$y 'oon! 6ohn Shac#lefo$d had %egun to $e'e'%e$ his past, and the child whose
only f$iend he, 6ohn, had %een! 8ittle neglected Ray 5a$$aty!
" w$ote until 'idnight ca'e! .y then the thunde$ had faded away %ut the heat held on, as
opp$essive as a %lan#et! " tu$ned off the ". and went to %ed ! ! ! thin#ing, so fa$ as " can
$e'e'%e$, nothing at all + not even a%out attie, lying in he$ own %ed not so 'any 'iles away!
The w$iting had %u$ned off all thoughts of the $eal wo$ld, at least te'po$a$ily! " thin# that, in the
end, that's what it's fo$! 5ood o$ %ad, it passes the ti'e!
3HA0TER T(ENT,*ONE
" was wal#ing no$th along The St$eet! 6apanese lante$ns lined it, %ut they we$e all da$# %ecause it
was daylight + bright daylight! The 'uggy, s'utchy loo# of 'id*6uly was gone7 the s#y was that
deep sapphi$e shade which is the sole p$ope$ty of Octo%e$! The la#e was deepest indigo %eneath it,
spa$#ling with sunpoints! The t$ees we$e &ust past the pea# of thei$ autu'n colo$s, %u$ning li#e
to$ches! A wind out of the south %lew the fallen leaves past 'e and %etween 'y legs in $attly,
f$ag$ant gusts! The 6apanese lante$ns nodded as if in app$oval of the season! Up ahead, faintly, "
could hea$ 'usic! Sa$a and the Red*Tops! Sa$a was %elting it out, laughing he$ way th$ough the
ly$ic as she always had ! ! ! only, how could laughte$ sound so 'uch li#e a sna$lB
'(hite %oy, "'d neve$ #ill a child of 'ine! That you'd even thin# itC'
" whi$led, expecting to see he$ $ight %ehind 'e, %ut the$e was no one the$e! (ell ! ! !
The 5$een 8ady was the$e, only she had changed he$ d$ess of leaves fo$ autu'n and %eco'e the
,ellow 8ady! The %a$e pine*%$anch %ehind he$ still pointed the wayD go no$th, young 'an, go
no$th! Not 'uch fa$the$ down the path was anothe$ %i$ch, the one "'d held onto when that te$$i%le
d$owning sensation had co'e ove$ 'e again!
" waited fo$ it to co'e again now + fo$ 'y 'outh and th$oat to fill up with the i$on taste of the
la#e + %ut it didn't happen! " loo#ed %ac# at the ,ellow 8ady, then %eyond he$ to Sa$a 8aughs!
The house was the$e, %ut 'uch $educedD no no$th wing, no south wing, no second sto$y! No sign of
6o's studio off to the side, eithe$! None of those things had %een %uilt yet! The lady%i$ch had
t$avelled %ac# with 'e f$o' :;;?7 so had the one hanging ove$ the la#e! Othe$wise +
'(he$e a' "B' " as#ed the ,ellow 8ady and the nodding 6apanese lante$ns! Then a %ette$ )uestion
occu$$ed to 'e! 'When a' "B' No answe$! '"t's a d$ea', isn't itB "'' in %ed and d$ea'ing!'
So'ewhe$e out in the %$illiant, gold*spa$#ling net of the la#e, a loon called! Twice! .oot once
for yes' twice for no, " thought! Not a dream' #ichael( 1 don't know e$actly what it is 3 spiritual
time*tra&el' maybe 3 but it's not a dream(
'"s this $eally happeningB' " as#ed the day, and f$o' so'ewhe$e %ac# in the t$ees, whe$e a t$ac#
which would eventually co'e to %e #nown as 8ane 9o$ty*two $an towa$d a di$t $oad which would
eventually co'e to %e #nown as Route L?, a c$ow cawed! 6ust once!
" went to the %i$ch hanging ove$ the la#e, slipped an a$' a$ound it -doing it lit a t$ace 'e'o$y of
slipping 'y hands a$ound attie's waist, feeling he$ d$ess slide ove$ he$ s#in/, and pee$ed into the
wate$, half*wanting to see the d$owned %oy, half*fea$ing to see hi'! The$e was no %oy the$e, %ut
so'ething lay on the %otto' whe$e he had %een, a'ong the $oc#s and $oots and wate$weed! "
s)uinted and &ust then the wind died a little, stilling the glints on the wate$! "t was a cane, one with a
gold head! A Boston 6ost cane! ($apped a$ound it in a $ising spi$al, thei$ ends waving la=ily, we$e
what appea$ed to %e a pai$ of $i%%ons + white ones with %$ight $ed edges! Seeing Royce's cane
w$apped that way 'ade 'e thin# of high*school g$aduations, and the %aton the class 'a$shal waves
as he o$ she leads the gowned senio$s to thei$ seats! Now " unde$stood why the old c$oc# hadn't
answe$ed the phone! Royce e$$ill's phone*answe$ing days we$e all done! " #new that7 " also #new
" had co'e to a ti'e %efo$e Royce had even %een %o$n! Sa$a Tidwell was he$e, " could hea$ he$
singing, and when Royce had %een %o$n in :;AG, Sa$a had al$eady %een gone fo$ two yea$s, she and
he$ whole Red*Top fa'ily!
'5o down, oses,' " told the $i%%on*w$apped cane in the wate$! ',ou %ound fo$ the 0$o'ised
8and!'
" wal#ed on towa$d the sound of the 'usic, invigo$ated %y the cool ai$ and $ushing wind! Now "
could hea$ voices as well, lots of the', tal#ing and shouting and laughing! Rising a%ove the' and
pu'ping li#e a piston was the hoa$se c$y of a sideshow %a$#e$D '3o'e on in, fol#s, hurr*ay, hurr*
ay, hurr*ayC "t's all on the inside %ut you've got to hurr*ay, next show sta$ts in ten 'inutesC See
Angelina the Sna#e*(o'an, she shi''ies, she sha#es, she'll %ewitch you$ eye and steal you$
hea$t, %ut don't get too close fo$ he$ %ite is poy*sonC See Hando the 2og*9aced .oy, te$$o$ of the
South SeasC See the Hu'an S#eletonC See the Hu'an 5ila onste$, $elic of a ti'e 5od fo$gotC See
the .ea$ded 8ady and all the 1ille$ a$tiansC "t's on the inside, yessi$$ee, so hurr*ay, hurr*ay, hurr*
ayC'
" could hea$ the stea'*d$iven calliope of a 'e$$y*go*$ound and the %ang of the %ell at the top of
the post as so'e lu'%e$&ac# won a stuffed toy fo$ his sweetie! ,ou could tell f$o' the delighted
fe'inine sc$ea's that he'd hit it al'ost ha$d enough to pop it off the post! The$e was the snap of!
FFs f$o' the shooting galle$y, the sno$ing 'oo of so'eone's p$i=e cow ! ! ! and now " %egan to
s'ell the a$o'as " have associated with county fai$s since " was a %oyD sweet f$ied dough, g$illed
onions and peppe$s, cotton candy, 'anu$e, hay! " %egan to wal# faste$ as the st$u' of guita$s and
thud of dou%le %asses g$ew loude$! y hea$t #ic#ed into a highe$ gea$! " was going to see the'
pe$fo$', actually see Sa$a 8aughs and the Red*Tops live and on stage! This was no c$a=y th$ee*pa$t
feve$*d$ea', eithe$! This was happening $ight now, so hu$$*ay, hu$$*ay, hu$$*ay!
The (ash%u$n place -the one that would always %e the .$ic#e$ place to $s! !/ was gone!
.eyond whe$e it would eventually %e, $ising up the steep slope on the easte$n side of The St$eet,
was a flight of %$oad wooden stai$s! They $e'inded 'e of the ones which lead down f$o' the
a'use'ent pa$# to the %each at Old O$cha$d! He$e the 6apanese lante$ns we$e lit in spite of the
%$ightness of the day, and the 'usic was loude$ than eve$! Sa$a was singing '6i''y 3$ac# 3o$n!'
" cli'%ed the stai$s towa$d the laughte$ and shouts, the sounds of the Red*Tops and the calliope,
the s'ells of f$ied food and fa$' ani'als! A%ove the stai$head was a wooden a$ch with
WELCOME TO FRYEBURG FAIR
WELCOME TO THE 20TH CENTURY
p$inted on it! As " watched, a little %oy in sho$t pants and a wo'an wea$ing a shi$twaist and an
an#le*length linen s#i$t wal#ed unde$ the a$ch and towa$d 'e! They shi''e$ed, g$ew gau=y! 9o$ a
'o'ent " could see thei$ s#eletons and the %one g$ins which lu$#ed %eneath thei$ laughing faces! A
'o'ent late$ and they we$e gone!
Two fa$'e$s + one wea$ing a st$aw hat, the othe$ gestu$ing expansively with a co$nco% pipe +
appea$ed on the 9ai$ side of the a$ch in exactly the sa'e fashion! "n this way " unde$stood that the$e
was a %a$$ie$ %etween The St$eet and the 9ai$! ,et " did not thin# it was a %a$$ie$ which would
affect 'e! " was an exception!
'"s that $ightB' " as#ed! '3an " go inB'
The %ell at the top of the Test ,ou$ St$ength pole %anged loud and clea$! .ong once fo$ yes,
twice fo$ no! " continued on up the stai$s!
Now " could see the 9e$$is wheel tu$ning against the %$illiant s#y, the wheel that had %een in the
%ac#g$ound of the %and photo in Osteen's Dark Score Days! The f$a'ewo$# was 'etal, %ut the
%$ightly painted gondolas we$e 'ade of wood! 8eading up to it li#e an aisle leading up to an alta$
was a %$oad, sawdust*st$ewn 'idway! The sawdust was the$e fo$ a pu$pose7
al'ost eve$y 'an " saw was chewing to%acco!
" paused fo$ a few seconds at the top of the stai$s, still on the la#e side of the a$ch! " was af$aid of
what 'ight happen to 'e if " passed unde$! Af$aid of dying o$ disappea$ing, yes, %ut 'ostly of
neve$ %eing a%le to $etu$n the way " had co'e, of %eing conde'ned to spend ete$nity as a visito$ to
the tu$n*of*the*centu$y 9$ye%u$g 9ai$! That was also li#e a Ray .$ad%u$y sto$y, now that " thought
of it!
"n the end what d$ew 'e into that othe$ wo$ld was Sa$a Tidwell! " had to see he$ with 'y own
eyes! " had to watch he$ sing! .ad to!
" felt a tingling as " stepped %eneath the a$ch, and the$e was a sighing in 'y ea$s, as of a 'illion
voices, ve$y fa$ away! Sighing in $eliefB 2is'ayB " couldn't tell! All " #new fo$ su$e was that %eing
on the othe$ side was diffe$ent + the diffe$ence %etween loo#ing at a thing th$ough a window and
actually %eing the$e7 the diffe$ence %etween o%se$ving and pa$ticipating!
3olo$s &u'ped out li#e a'%ushe$s at the 'o'ent of attac#! The s'ells which had %een sweet
and evocative and nostalgic on the la#e side of the a$ch we$e now $ough and sexy, p$ose instead of
poet$y! " could s'ell dense sausages and f$ying %eef and the vast shadowy a$o'a of %oiling
chocolate! Two #ids wal#ed past 'e sha$ing a pape$ cone of cotton candy! .oth of the' we$e
clutching #notted han#ies with thei$ little %its of change in the'! 'Hey #idsC' a %a$#e$ in a da$# %lue
shi$t called to the'! He was wea$ing sleeve*ga$te$s and his s'ile $evealed one splendid gold tooth!
'1noc# ove$ the 'il#*%ottles and win a p$i=eC " en't had a lose$ all dayC'
Up ahead, the Red*Tops swung into '9ishin .lues!' "'d thought the #id on the co''on in 3astle
Roc# was p$etty good, %ut this ve$sion 'ade the #id's sound old and slow and clueless! "t wasn't
cute, li#e an anti)ue pictu$e of ladies with thei$ s#i$ts held up to thei$ #nees, dancing a deco$ous
ve$sion of the %lac# %otto' with the edges of thei$ %loo'e$s showing! "t wasn't so'ething Alan
8o'ax had collected with his othe$ fol# songs, &ust one 'o$e dusty A'e$ican %utte$fly in a glass
case full of the'7 this was s'ut with &ust enough shine on it to #eep the whole st$uttin %unch of
the' out of &ail! Sa$a Tidwell was singing a%out the di$ty %oogie, and " guessed that eve$y
ove$alled, st$aw*hatted, plug*chewing, callus*handed, clod*hoppe$*wea$ing fa$'e$ standing in f$ont
of the stage was d$ea'ing a%out doing it with he$, getting $ight down to whe$e the sweat fo$'s in
the c$ease and the heat gets hot and the pin# co'es gli''e$ing th$ough!
" sta$ted wal#ing in that di$ection, awa$e of cows 'ooing and sheep %latting f$o' the exhi%ition
%a$ns + the 9ai$'s ve$sion of 'y childhood Hi*Ho 2ai$y*O! " wal#ed past the shooting galle$y and
the $ingtoss and the penny*pitch7 " wal#ed past a stage whe$e The Hand'aidens of Angelina we$e
weaving in a slow, sna#eli#e dance with thei$ hands p$essed togethe$ as a guy with a tu$%an on his
head and shoepolish on his face tooted a flute! The pictu$e painted on st$etched canvas suggested
that Angelina + on view inside fo$ &ust one tenth of a dolla$, neigh%o$ + would 'a#e these two
loo# li#e old %oots! " wal#ed past the ent$ance to 9$ea# Alley, the co$n*$oasting pit, the 5host
House, whe$e 'o$e st$etched canvas depicted spoo#s co'ing out of %$o#en windows and
c$u'%ling chi'neys! 4&erything in there is death, " thought ! ! ! %ut f$o' inside " could hea$
child$en who we$e ve$y 'uch alive laughing and s)uealing as they %u'ped into things in the da$#!
The olde$ a'ong the' we$e li#ely stealing #isses! " passed the Test ,ou$ St$ength pole, whe$e the
g$adations leading to the %$ass %ell at the top we$e 'a$#ed .A., NEE2S H"S .OTT8E, S"SS,, TR,
A5A"N, ."5 .O,, HE*AN, and, &ust %elow the %ell itself, in $edD HER3U8ESC Standing at the cente$
of a little c$owd a young 'an with $ed hai$ was $e'oving his shi$t, $evealing a heavily 'uscled
uppe$ to$so! A ciga$*s'o#ing ca$ny held a ha''e$ out to hi'! " passed the )uilting %ooth, a tent
whe$e people we$e sitting on %enches and playing .ingo, the %ase%all pitch! " passed the' all and
ha$dly noticed! " was in the =one, t$anced out! ',ou'll have to call hi' %ac#,' 6o had so'eti'es told
Ha$old when he phoned, 'ichael is cu$$ently in the 8and of .ig a#e*.elieve!' Only now nothing
felt li#e p$etend and the only thing that inte$ested 'e was the stage at the %ase of the 9e$$is wheel!
The$e we$e eight %lac# fol#s up the$e on it, 'ay%e ten! Standing at the f$ont, wea$ing a guita$ and
whaling on it as she sang, was Sa$a Tidwell! She was alive! She was in he$ p$i'e! She th$ew %ac#
he$ head and laughed at the Octo%e$ s#y!
(hat %$ought 'e out of this da=e was a c$y f$o' %ehind 'eD '(ait up, i#eC (ait upC'
" tu$ned and saw 1y$a $unning towa$d 'e, dodging a$ound the st$olle$s and ga'este$s and
'idway gaw#e$s with he$ pudgy #nees pu'ping! She was wea$ing a little white sailo$ d$ess with
$ed piping and a st$aw hat with a navy*%lue $i%%on on it! "n one hand she clutched St$ic#land, and
when she got to 'e she th$ew he$self confidently fo$wa$d, #nowing " would catch he$ and swing
he$ up! " did, and when he$ hat sta$ted to fall offi caught it and &a''ed it %ac# on he$ head!
'" taggled 'y own )ua$te$'ac#,' she said, and laughed! 'Again!'
'That's $ight,' " said! ',ou'$e a $egula$ ean 6oe 5$een!' " was wea$ing ove$alls -the tail of a wash*
faded %lue %andanna stuc# out of the %i% poc#et/ and 'anu$e*stained wo$#%oots! " loo#ed at 1y$a's
white soc#s and saw they we$e ho'e'ade! " would find no disc$eet little la%el $eading ade in
exico o$ ade in 3hina if " too# off he$ st$aw hat and loo#ed inside, eithe$! This hat had %een
'ost li#ely ade in otton, %y so'e fa$'e$'s wife with $ed hands and achy &oints!
'1i, whe$e's attieB'
'Ho'e, " guess! She couldn't co'e!'
'How did you get he$eB'
'Up the stai$s! "t was a lot of stai$s! ,ou should have waited fo$ 'e! ,ou could have ca$$ot 'e,
li#e %efo$e! " want to hea$ the 'usic!'
'e too! 2o you #now who that is, 1y$aB'
',es,' she said, '1ito's 'o'! Hu$$y up, slowpo#eC'
" wal#ed towa$d the stage, thin#ing we'd have to stand at the %ac# of the c$owd, %ut they pa$ted
fo$ us as we ca'e fo$wa$d, 'e ca$$ying 1y$a in 'y a$'s + the lovely sweet weight of he$, a little
5i%son 5i$l in he$ sailo$ d$ess and $i%%on*accented st$aw hat! He$ a$' was cu$led a$ound 'y nec#
and they pa$ted fo$ us li#e the Red Sea had pa$ted fo$ oses!
They didn't tu$n to loo# at us, eithe$! They we$e clapping and sto'ping and %ellowing along with
the 'usic, totally involved! They stepped aside unconsciously, as if so'e #ind of 'agnetis' we$e
at wo$# he$e + ou$s positive, thei$s negative! The few wo'en in the c$owd we$e %lushing %ut
clea$ly en&oying the'selves, one of the' laughing so ha$d tea$s we$e st$ea'ing down he$ face! She
loo#ed no 'o$e than twenty*two o$ *th$ee! 1y$a pointed to he$ and said 'atte$*of*factlyD ',ou
#now attie's %oss at the li%e$$yB That's he$ nana!'
%indy Briggs's grandmother' and fresh as a daisy, " thought! -ood hrist!
The Red*Tops we$e sp$ead ac$oss the stage and unde$ swags of $ed, white, and %lue %unting li#e
so'e ti'e*t$avelling $oc# %and! " $ecogni=ed all of the' f$o' the pictu$e in Edwa$d Osteen's %oo#!
The 'en wo$e white shi$ts, a$'*ga$te$s, da$# vests, da$# pants! Son Tidwell, at the fa$ end of the
stage, was wea$ing the de$%y he'd had on in the photo! Sa$a, though ! ! !
'(hy is the lady wea$ing attie's d$essB' 1y$a as#ed 'e, and she %egan to t$e'%le!
'" don't #now, honey! " can't say!' No$ could " a$gue + it was the white sleeveless d$ess attie
had %een wea$ing on the co''on, all $ight!
On stage, the %and was s'o#ing th$ough an inst$u'ental %$ea#! Reginald 'Son' Tidwell st$olled
ove$ to Sa$a, feet a'%ling, hands a %$own %lu$ on the st$ings and f$ets of his guita$, and she tu$ned
to face hi'! They put thei$ fo$eheads togethe$, she laughing and he sole'n7 they loo#ed into each
othe$'s eyes and t$ied to play each othe$ down, the c$owd chee$ing and clapping, the $est of the Red*
Tops laughing as they played! Seeing the' togethe$ li#e that, " $eali=ed that " had %een $ightD they
we$e %$othe$ and siste$! The $ese'%lance was too st$ong to %e 'issed o$ 'ista#en! .ut 'ostly what
" loo#ed at was the way he$ hips and %utt switched in that white d$ess! 1y$a and " 'ight %e d$essed
in tu$n*of*the*centu$y count$y clothes, %ut Sa$a was tho$oughly 'ode$n illie! No %loo'e$s fo$
he$, no petticoats, no cotton stoc#ings! No one see'ed to notice that she was wea$ing a d$ess that
stopped a%ove he$ #nees + that she was all %ut na#ed %y the standa$ds of this ti'e! And unde$
attie's d$ess she'd %e wea$ing ga$'ents the li#e of which these people had neve$ seenD a 8yc$a %$a
and hip*hugge$ nylon panties! "f " put 'y hands on he$ waist, the d$ess would slip not against an
unwet*co'ing co$set %ut against soft %a$e s#in! .$own s#in, not white! What do you want' sugar?
Sa$a %ac#ed away f$o' Son, sha#ing he$ ungi$dled, un%ustled fanny and laughing! He st$olled
%ac# to his spot and she tu$ned to the c$owd as the %and played the tu$na$ound! She sang the next
ve$se loo#ing di$ectly at 'e!
'Before you start in fishin
you better check your line(
Said before you start in fishin' honey'
you better check on your line(
1'll pull on yours' darling'
and you best tug on mine('
The c$owd $oa$ed happily! "n 'y a$'s, 1y$a was sha#ing ha$de$ than eve$! '"'' sca$ed, i#e,'
she said! '" don't li#e that lady! She's a sca$y lady! She stole attie's d$ess! " want to go ho'e!'
"t was as if Sa$a hea$d he$, even ove$ the $ip and $a' of the 'usic! He$ head coc#ed %ac# on he$
nec#, he$ lips peeled open, and she laughed at the s#y! He$ teeth we$e %ig and yellow! They loo#ed
li#e the teeth of a hung$y ani'al, and " decided " ag$eed with 1y$aD she was a sca$y lady!
'O#ay, hon,' " 'u$'u$ed in 1i's ea$! '(e'$e out of he$e!'
.ut %efo$e " could 'ove, the sense of the wo'an + " don't #now how else to say it + fell upon
'e and held 'e! Now " unde$stood what had shot past 'e in the #itchen to #noc# away the
3AR8A2EAN lette$s7 the chill was the sa'e! "t was al'ost li#e identifying a pe$son %y the sound of
thei$ wal#!
She led the %and to the tu$na$ound once 'o$e, then into anothe$ ve$se! Not one you'd find in any
w$itten ve$sion of the song, thoughD
'1 ain't gonna hurt her' honey'
not for all the treasure in the world'(
Said 1 wouldn't hurt your baby'
not for diamonds or for pearls
2nly one black*hearted bastard
dare to touch that little girl('
The c$owd $oa$ed as if it we$e the funniest thing they'd eve$ hea$d, %ut 1y$a %egan to c$y! Sa$a
saw this and stuc# out he$ %$easts + 'uch %igge$ %$easts than attie's + and shoo# the' at he$,
laughing he$ t$ade'a$# laugh as she did! The$e was a pa$odic coldness a%out this gestu$e ! ! ! and an
e'ptiness, too! A sadness! ,et " could feel no co'passion fo$ he$! "t was as if the hea$t had %een
%u$ned out of he$ and the sadness which $e'ained was &ust anothe$ ghost, the 'e'o$y of love
haunting the %ones of hate!
And how he$ laughing teeth lee$ed!
Sa$a $aised he$ a$'s ove$ he$ head and this ti'e shoo# it all the way down, as if $eading 'y
thoughts and 'oc#ing the'! 6ust li#e &elly on a plate, as so'e othe$ old song of the ti'e has it! He$
shadow wave$ed on the canvas %ac#d$op, which was a painting of 9$ye%u$g, and as " loo#ed at it "
$eali=ed " had found the Shape f$o' 'y ande$ley d$ea's! "t was Sa$a! Sa$a was the Shape and
always had %een!
No' #ike( "hat's close' but it's not right(
Right o$ w$ong, "'d had enough! " tu$ned, putting 'y hand on the %ac# of 1i's head and u$ging
he$ face down against 'y chest! .oth he$ a$'s we$e a$ound 'y nec# now, clutching with panic#y
tightness!
" thought "'d have to %ull 'y way %ac# th$ough the c$owd + they had let 'e in easily enough,
%ut they 'ight %e a lot less a'ena%le to letting 'e %ac# out! Don't fuck with me' boys, " thought!
,ou don't want to do that(
And they didn't! On stage Son Tidwell had ta#en the %and f$o' E to 5, so'eone %egan to %ang a
ta'%ou$ine, and Sa$a went f$o' '9ishin .lues' to '2og y 3ats' without a single pause! Out he$e, in
f$ont of the stage and %elow it, the c$owd once 'o$e d$ew %ac# f$o' 'e and 'y little gi$l without
loo#ing at us o$ 'issing a %eat as they clapped thei$ wo$#*swollen hands togethe$! One young 'an
with a po$t*wine stain swi''ing ac$oss the side of his face opened his 'outh + at twenty he was
al$eady 'issing half his teeth + and holle$ed ',ee*.AW5' a$ound a 'elting glo% of to%acco! "t was
.uddy 6ellison f$o' the 4illage 3afe, " $eali=ed ! ! ! .uddy 6ellison 'agically $olled %ac# in age
f$o' sixty*eight to eighteen! Then " $eali=ed the hai$ was the w$ong shade + light %$own instead of
%lac# -although he was pushing seventy and loo#ing it in eve$y othe$ way, .ud hadn't a single
white hai$ in his head/! This was .uddy's g$andfathe$, 'ay%e even his g$eat*g$andfathe$! " didn't
give a shit eithe$ way! " only wanted to get out of he$e!
'Excuse 'e,' " said, %$ushing %y hi'!
'The$e's no town d$un# he$e, you 'eddling son of a %itch,' he said, neve$ loo#ing at 'e and neve$
'issing a %eat as he clapped! '(e all &ust ta#e tu$ns!'
1t's a dream after all, " thought! 1t's a dream and that pro&es it(
.ut the s'ell of to%acco on his %$eath wasn't a d$ea', the s'ell of the c$owd wasn't a d$ea', and
the weight of the f$ightened child in 'y a$'s wasn't a d$ea', eithe$! y shi$t was hot and wet
whe$e he$ face was p$essed! She was c$ying!
'Hey, "$ishC' Sa$a called f$o' the stage, and he$ voice was so li#e 6o's that " could have sc$ea'ed!
She wanted 'e to tu$n %ac# + " could feel he$ will wo$#ing on the sides of 'y face li#e finge$s +
%ut " wouldn't do it!
" dodged a$ound th$ee fa$'e$s who we$e passing a ce$a'ic %ottle f$o' hand to hand and then "
was f$ee of the c$owd! The 'idway lay ahead, wide as 9ifth Avenue, and at the end of it was the
a$ch, the steps, The St$eet, the la#e! Ho'e! "f " could get to The St$eet we'd %e safe! " was su$e of it!
'Al'ost done, "$ishC' Sa$a sh$ie#ed afte$ 'e! She sounded ang$y, %ut not too ang$y to laugh! ',ou
gonna get what you want, suga$, all the co'fo$t you need, %ut you want to let 'e finish 'y %i'ness!
2o you hea$ 'e, %oyB 6ust stand clea$C ind 'e, nowC'
" %egan to hu$$y %ac# the way " had co'e, st$o#ing 1i's head, still holding he$ face against 'y
shi$t! He$ st$aw hat fell off and when " g$a%%ed fo$ it, " got nothing %ut the $i%%on, which pulled
f$ee of the %$i'! No 'atte$! (e had to get out of he$e!
On ou$ left was the %ase%all pitch and so'e little %oy shouting '(illy hit it ove$ the fence, aC
(illy hit it ove$ the fenceC' with 'onotonous, %$ain*c$oggling $egula$ity! (e passed the .ingo,
whe$e so'e wo'an howled that she had won the tu$#ey, %y glo$y, eve$y nu'%e$ was cove$ed with
a %utton and she had won the tu$#ey! Ove$head, the sun dove %ehind a cloud and the day went dull!
Ou$ shadows disappea$ed! The a$ch at the end of the 'idway d$ew close$ with 'addening
slowness!
'A$e we ho'e yetB' 1i al'ost 'oaned! '" want to go ho'e, i#e, please ta#e 'e ho'e to 'y
'o''y!'
'" will,' " said! 'Eve$ything's going to %e all $ight!'
(e we$e passing the Test ,ou$ St$ength pole, whe$e the young 'an with the $ed hai$ was
putting his shi$t %ac# on! He loo#ed at 'e with stolid disli#e + the instinctive 'ist$ust of a native
fo$ an inte$lope$, pe$*haps + and " $eali=ed " #new hi', too! He'd have a g$andson na'ed 2ic#ie
who would, towa$d the end of the centu$y to which this fai$ had %een dedicated, own the All*
0u$pose 5a$age on Route L?!
A wo'an co'ing out of the )uilting %ooth stopped and pointed at 'e! At the sa'e 'o'ent he$
uppe$ lip lifted in a dog's sna$l! " #new that face, too! 9$o' whe$eB So'ewhe$e a$ound town! "t
didn't 'atte$, and " didn't want to #now even if it did!
'(e neve$ should have co'e he$e,' 1i 'oaned!
'" #now how you feel,' " said! '.ut " don't thin# we had any choice, hon! (e + '
They ca'e out of 9$ea# Alley, pe$haps twenty ya$ds ahead! " saw the' and stopped! The$e we$e
seven in all, long*st$iding 'en d$essed in cutte$s' clothes, %ut fou$ didn't 'atte$ + those fou$
loo#ed faded and white and ghostly! They we$e sic# fellows, 'ay%e dead fellows, and no 'o$e
dange$ous than dague$$eotypes! The othe$ th$ee, though, we$e $eal! As $eal as the $est of this place,
anyway! The leade$ was an old 'an wea$ing a faded %lue Union A$'y cap! He loo#ed at 'e with
eyes " #new! Eyes " had seen 'easu$ing 'e ove$ the top of an oxygen 'as#!
'i#eB (hy we stoppinB'
'"t's all $ight, 1i! 6ust #eep you$ head down! This is all a d$ea'! ,ou'll wa#e up to'o$$ow
'o$ning in you$ own %ed!'
''1ay!'
The &ac#s sp$ead ac$oss the 'idway hand to hand and %oot to %oot, %loc#ing ou$ way %ac# to the
a$ch and The St$eet! Old .lue*3ap was in the 'iddle! The ones on eithe$ side of hi' we$e 'uch
younge$, so'e %y 'ay%e as 'uch as half a centu$y! Two of the pale ones, the al'ost*not*the$e
ones, we$e standing side*%y*side to the old 'an's $ight, and " wonde$ed if " could %u$st th$ough that
pa$t of thei$ line! " thought they we$e no 'o$e flesh than the thing which had thu'ped the
insulation of the cella$ wall ! ! ! %ut what if " was w$ongB
'5ive he$ ove$, son,' the old 'an said! His voice was $eedy and i'placa%le! He held out his
hands! "t was ax 2evo$e, he had co'e %ac#, even in death he was see#ing custody! ,et it wasn't
hi'! " #new it wasn't! The planes of this 'an's face we$e su%tly diffe$ent, the chee#s gaunte$, the
eyes a %$ighte$ %lue!
'(he$e a' 1B' " called to hi', accenting the last wo$d heavily, and in f$ont of Angelina's %ooth,
the 'an in the tu$%an -a Hindu who pe$haps hailed f$o' Sandus#y, Ohio/ put down his flute and
si'ply watched! The sna#e*gi$ls stopped dancing and watched, too, slipping thei$ a$'s a$ound each
othe$ and d$awing togethe$ fo$ co'fo$t! '(he$e a' 1, 2evo$eB "f ou$ g$eat*g$andfathe$s shit in the
sa'e pit, then whe$e a' 1B'
'Ain't he$e to answe$ you$ )uestions! 5ive he$ ove$!'
'"'ll ta#e he$, 6a$ed,' one of the younge$ 'en*one of those who we$e $eally there + said! He
loo#ed at 2evo$e with a #ind of fawning eage$ness that sic#ened 'e, 'ostly %ecause " #new who
he wasD .ill 2ean's fathe$! A 'an who had g$own up to %e one of the 'ost $espected elde$s in
3astle 3ounty was all %ut lic#ing 2evo$e's %oots!
Don't think too badly of him, 6o whispe$ed! Don't think too badly of any of them( "hey were &ery
young(
',ou don't need to do nothing,' 2evo$e said! His $eedy voice was i$$itated7 9$ed 2ean loo#ed
a%ashed! 'He's going to hand he$ ove$ on his own! And if he don't, we'll ta#e he$ togethe$!'
" loo#ed at the 'an on the fa$ left, the thi$d of those that see'ed totally $eal, totally the$e! (as
this 'eB "t didn't loo# li#e 'e! The$e was so'ething in the face that see'ed fa'ilia$ %ut +
'Hand he$ ove$, "$ish,' 2evo$e said! '8ast chance!'
'No!'
2evo$e nodded as if this was exactly what he had expected! 'Then we'll ta#e he$! This has got to
end! 3o'e on, %oys!'
They sta$ted towa$d 'e and as they did " $eali=ed who the one on the end + the one in the
caul#ed t$eewal#e$ %oots and flannel logge$s' pants + $e'inded 'e ofD 1enny Auste$, whose
wolfhound would eat ca#e 'til it %usted! 1enny Auste$, whose %a%y %$othe$ had %een d$owned
unde$ the pu'p %y 1enny's fathe$!
" loo#ed %ehind 'e! The Red*Tops we$e still playing, Sa$a was still laughing, sha#ing he$ hips
with he$ hands in the s#y, and the c$owd was still plugging the east end of the 'idway! That way
was no good, anyway! if " went that way, "'d end up $aising a little gi$l in the ea$ly yea$s of the
twentieth centu$y, t$ying to 'a#e a living %y w$iting penny d$eadfuls and di'e novels! That 'ight
not %e so %ad ! ! ! %ut the$e was a lonely young wo'an 'iles and yea$s f$o' he$e who would 'iss
he$! (ho 'ight even 'iss us %oth!
" tu$ned %ac# and saw the &ac#%oys we$e al'ost on 'e! So'e of the' 'o$e he$e than othe$s,
'o$e vital, %ut all of the' dead! All of the' da'ned! " loo#ed at the towhead whose descendants
would include 1enny Auste$ and as#ed hi', '(hat did you doB (hat in 3h$ist's na'e did you 'en
doB'
He held out his hands! '5ive he$ ove$, "$ish! That's all you have to do! ,ou and the wo'an can
have 'o$e! All the 'o$e you want! She's young, she'll pop e' out li#e wate$'elon seeds!'
" was hypnoti=ed, and they would have ta#en us if not fo$ 1y$a! '(hat's happeningB' she
sc$ea'ed against 'y shi$t! 'So'ething s'ellsC So'ething s'ells so bad5 2h #ike' make it stop5'
And " $eali=ed " could s'ell it, too! Spoiled 'eat and swa'pgas! .u$st tissue and si''e$ing
guts! 2evo$e was the 'ost alive of all of the', gene$ating the sa'e c$ude %ut powe$ful 'agnetis'
" had felt a$ound his g$eat*g$andson, %ut he was as dead as the $est of the', tooD as he nea$ed "
could see the tiny %ugs which we$e feeding in his nost$ils and the pin# co$ne$s of his eyes!
4&erything down here is death, " thought! Didn't my own wife tell me so?
They $eached out thei$ tene%$ous hands, fi$st to touch 1i and then to ta#e he$! " %ac#ed up a step,
loo#ed to 'y $ight, and saw 'o$e ghosts + so'e co'ing out of %usted windows, so'e slipping
f$o' $ed%$ic# chi'neys! Holding 1y$a in 'y a$'s, " $an fo$ the 5host House!
'5et hi'C' 6a$ed 2evo$e yelled, sta$tled! '5et hi', %oysC 5et that pun#C 5odda'nitC'
" sp$inted up the wooden steps, vaguely awa$e of so'ething soft $u%%ing against 'y chee# +
1i's little stuffed dog, still clutched in one of he$ hands! " wanted to loo# %ac# and see how close
they we$e getting, %ut " didn't da$e! "f " stu'%led +
'HeyC' the wo'an in the tic#et %ooth cawed! She had clouds of ginge$y hai$, 'a#eup that
appea$ed to have %een applied with a ga$den*t$owel, and 'e$cifully $ese'%led no one " #new! She
was &ust a ca$ny, &ust passing th$ough this %enighted place! 8uc#y he$! 'Hey, 'iste$, you gotta %uy a
tic#etC'
No ti'e, lady, no ti'e!
'Stop hi'C' 2evo$e shouted! 'He's a godda' pun# thiefC That ain't his young 'un he's gotC Stop
hi'C' .ut no one did and " $ushed into the da$#ness of the 5host House with 1i in 'y a$'s!
.eyond the ent$y was a passage so na$$ow " had to tu$n sideways to get down it! 0hospho$escent
eyes gla$ed at us in the gloo'! Up ahead was a g$owing wooden $u'%le, a loose sound with a
clac#ing chain %eneath it! .ehind us ca'e the clu'sy thunde$ of caul#*e)uipped logge$s' %oots
$ushing up the stai$s outside! The ginge$*hai$ed ca$ny was holle$ing at the' now, she was telling
the' that if they %$o#e anything inside they'd have to give up the goods! ',ou 'ind 'e, you
da'ned $u%esC' she shouted! 'That place is fo$ #ids, not the li#es of youC'
The $u'%le was di$ectly ahead of us! So'ething was tu$ning! At fi$st " couldn't 'a#e out what it
was!
'0ut 'e down, i#eC' 1y$a sounded excited! '" want to go th$ough %y 'yselfC'
" set he$ on he$ feet, then loo#ed ne$vously %ac# ove$ 'y shoulde$! The %$ight light at the
ent$yway was %loc#ed out as they t$ied to c$a' in!
',ou assesC' 2evo$e yelled! 'Not all at the sa'e ti'eC Sweet weeping 6esusC' The$e was a s'ac#
and so'eone c$ied out! " faced f$ont &ust in ti'e to see 1y$a da$t th$ough the $olling %a$$el, holding
he$ hands out fo$ %alance! "nc$edi%ly, she was laughing!
" followed, got halfway ac$oss, then went down with a thu'p!
'OoopsC' 1y$a called f$o' the fa$ side, then giggled as " t$ied to get up, fell again, and was
tu'%led all the way ove$! The %andanna fell out of 'y %i% poc#et! A %ag of ho$ehound candy
d$opped f$o' anothe$ poc#et! " t$ied to loo# %ac#, to see if they had got the'selves so$ted out and
we$e co'ing! (hen " did, the %a$$el hu$led 'e th$ough anothe$ inadve$tent so'e$sault! Now "
#new how clothes felt in a d$ye$!
" c$awled to the end of the %a$$el, got up, too# 1i's hand, and let he$ lead us deepe$ into the
5host House! (e got pe$haps ten paces %efo$e white %loo'ed a$ound he$ li#e a lily and she
sc$ea'ed! So'e ani'al + so'ething that sounded li#e a huge cat + hissed heavily! Ad$enaline
du'ped into 'y %loodst$ea' and " was a%out to &e$# he$ %ac#wa$d into 'y a$'s again when the
hiss ca'e once 'o$e! " felt hot ai$ on 'y an#les, and 1i's d$ess 'ade that %ell*shape a$ound he$
legs again! This ti'e she laughed instead of sc$ea'ing!
'5o, 1iC' " whispe$ed! '9ast!'
(e went on, leaving the stea'*vent %ehind! The$e was a 'i$$o$ed co$$ido$ whe$e we we$e
$eflected fi$st as s)uat dwa$ves and then as sc$awny ecto'o$phs with long white va'pi$e featu$es! "
had to u$ge 1y$a on again7 she wanted to 'a#e faces at he$self! .ehind us, " hea$d cu$sing
lu'%e$&ac#s t$ying to negotiate the %a$$el! " could hea$ 2evo$e cu$sing, too, %ut he no longe$
see'ed so ! ! ! well, so eminent!
The$e was a sliding*pole that landed us on a %ig canvas pillow! This 'ade a loud fa$ting noise
when we hit it, and 1i laughed until f$esh tea$s spilled down he$ chee#s, $olling a$ound and #ic#ing
he$ feet in glee! " got 'y hands unde$ he$ a$'s and yan#ed he$ up!
'2on't taggle ye$ own )ua$te$'ac#,' she said, then laughed again! He$ fea$ see'ed to have
enti$ely depa$ted!
(e went down anothe$ na$$ow co$$ido$! "t s'elled of the f$ag$ant pine f$o' which it had %een
const$ucted! .ehind one of these walls, two 'ghosts' we$e clan#ing chains as 'echanically as 'en
wo$#ing on a shoe*facto$y asse'%ly line, tal#ing a%out whe$e they we$e going to ta#e thei$ gi$ls
tonight and who was going to %$ing so'e '$ed*eye engine,' whateve$ that was! " could no longe$
hea$ anyone %ehind us! 1y$a led the way confidently, one of he$ little hands holding one of 'y %ig
ones, pulling 'e along! (hen we ca'e to a doo$ painted with glowing fla'es and 'a$#ed TH"S
(A, TO HA2ES, she pushed th$ough it with no hesitation at all! He$e $ed isinglass topped the
passage li#e a tinted s#ylight, i'pa$ting a $osy glow " thought fa$ too pleasant fo$ Hades!
(e went on fo$ what felt li#e a ve$y long ti'e, and " $eali=ed " could no longe$ hea$ the calliope,
the hea$ty bong5 of the Test ,ou$ St$ength %ell, o$ Sa$a and the Red*Tops! No$ was that exactly
su$p$ising! (e 'ust have wal#ed a )ua$te$ of a 'ile! How could any county fai$ 5host House %e so
%igB
(e ca'e to th$ee doo$s then, one on the left, one on the $ight, and one set into the end of the
co$$ido$! On one a little $ed t$icycle was painted! On the doo$ facing it was 'y g$een ".
typew$ite$! The pictu$e on the doo$ at the end loo#ed olde$, so'ehow + faded and dowdy! "t
showed a child's sled! "hat's Scooter %arribee's, " thought! "hat's the one De&ore stole! A $ash of
gooseflesh %$o#e out on 'y a$'s and %ac#!
'(ell,' 1y$a said %$ightly, 'he$e a$e ou$ toys!' She lifted St$ic#land, p$esu'a%ly so he could see
the $ed t$i#e!
',eah,' " said! '" guess so!'
'Than# you fo$ ta#ing 'e away,' she said! 'Those we$e sca$y 'en %ut the spoo#yhouse was fun!
Nighty*night! St$ic#en says nighty*night, too!' "t still ca'e out sounding exotic + tiu + li#e the
4ietna'ese wo$d fo$ su%li'e happiness!
.efo$e " could say anothe$ wo$d, she had pushed open the doo$ with the t$i#e on it and stepped
th$ough! "t snapped shut %ehind he$, and as it did " saw the $i%%on f$o' he$ hat! "t was hanging out
of the %i% poc#et of the ove$alls " was wea$ing! " loo#ed at it a 'o'ent, then t$ied the #no% of the
doo$ she had &ust gone th$ough! "t wouldn't tu$n, and when " slapped 'y hand against the wood it
was li#e slapping so'e ha$d and fa%ulously dense 'etal! " stepped %ac#, then coc#ed 'y head in
the di$ection f$o' which we'd co'e! The$e was nothing! Total silence!
"his is the between*time' " thought( When people talk about 'slipping through the cracks'' this is
what they really mean( "his is the place where they really go(
,ou better get going yourself, 6o told 'e! 1f you don't want to find yourself trapped here' maybe
fore&er' you better get going yourself!
" t$ied the #no% of the doo$ with the typew$ite$ painted on it! "t tu$ned easily! .ehind it was
anothe$ na$$ow co$$ido$ + 'o$e wooden walls and the sweet s'ell of pine! " didn't want to go in
the$e, so'ething a%out it 'ade 'e thin# of a long coffin, %ut the$e was nothing else to do, nowhe$e
else to go! " went, and the doo$ sla''ed shut %ehind 'e!
hrist' " thought! 1'm in the dark' in a closed*in place ( ( ( it's time for one of #ichael Noonan' s
world*famous panic attacks(
.ut no %ands cla'ped the'selves ove$ 'y chest, and although 'y hea$t*$ate was high and 'y
'uscles we$e still &ac#ed on ad$enaline, " was unde$ cont$ol! Also, " $eali=ed, it wasn't enti$ely da$#!
" could only see a little, %ut enough to 'a#e out the walls and the plan# floo$! " w$apped the da$#
%lue $i%%on f$o' 1i's hat a$ound 'y w$ist, tuc#ing one end unde$neath so it wouldn't co'e loose!
Then " %egan to 'ove fo$wa$d!
" went on fo$ a long ti'e, the co$$ido$ tu$ning this way and that, see'ingly at $ando'! " felt li#e
a 'ic$o%e slipping th$ough an intestine! At last " ca'e to a pai$ of wooden a$ched doo$ways! "
stood %efo$e the', wonde$ing which was the co$$ect choice, and $eali=ed " could hea$ .unte$'s %ell
faintly th$ough the one to 'y left! " went that way and as " wal#ed, the %ell g$ew steadily loude$! At
so'e point the sound of the %ell was &oined %y the 'utte$ of thunde$! The autu'n cool had left the
ai$ and it was hot again + stifling! " loo#ed down and saw that the %i%alls and clodhoppe$ shoes
we$e gone! " was wea$ing the$'al unde$wea$ and itchy soc#s!
Twice 'o$e " ca'e to choices, and each ti'e " pic#ed the opening th$ough which " could hea$
.unte$'s %ell! As " stood %efo$e the second pai$ of doo$ways, " hea$d a voice so'ewhe$e in the da$#
say )uite clea$lyD 'No, the 0$esident's wife wasn't hit! That's his %lood on he$ stoc#ings!'
" wal#ed on, then stopped when " $eali=ed 'y feet and an#les no longe$ itched, that 'y thighs
we$e no longe$ sweating into the long&ohns! " was wea$ing the 6oc#ey sho$ts " usually slept in! "
loo#ed up and saw " was in 'y own living $oo', th$eading 'y way ca$efully a$ound the fu$nitu$e
as you do in the da$#, t$ying li#e hell not to stu% you$ stupid toe! " could see a little %ette$7 faint
'il#y light was co'ing in th$ough the windows! " $eached the counte$ which sepa$ates the living
$oo' f$o' the #itchen and loo#ed ove$ it at the waggy*cat cloc#! "t was five past five!
" went to the sin# and tu$ned on the wate$! (hen " $eached fo$ a glass " saw " was still wea$ing
the $i%%on f$o' 1i's st$aw hat on 'y w$ist! " unwound it and put it on the counte$ %etween the
coffee*'a#e$ and the #itchen T4! Then " d$ew 'yself so'e cold wate$, d$an# it down, and 'ade
'y way cautiously along the no$th*wing co$$ido$ %y the pallid yellow glow of the %ath$oo'
nightlight! " peed -you*$inated, " could hea$ 1i saying/, then went into the %ed$oo'! The sheets
we$e $u'pled, %ut the %ed didn't have the o$giastic loo# of the 'o$ning afte$ 'y d$ea' of Sa$a,
attie, and 6o! (hy would itB "'d gotten out of it and had 'yself a little sleepwal#! An
ext$ao$dina$ily vivid d$ea' of the 9$ye%u$g 9ai$!
Except that was %ullshit, and not &ust %ecause " had the %lue sil# $i%%on f$o' 1i's hat! None of it
had the )uality of d$ea's on wa#ing, whe$e what see'ed plausi%le %eco'es i''ediately
$idiculous and all the colo$s + %oth those %$ight and those o'inous + fade at once! " $aised 'y
hands to 'y face, cupped the' ove$ 'y nose, and %$eathed deeply! 0ine! (hen " loo#ed, " even
saw a little s'ea$ of sap on one pin#y finge$!
" sat on the %ed, thought a%out dictating what "'d &ust expe$ienced into the e'o*Sc$i%e$, then
flopped %ac# on the pillows instead! " was too ti$ed! Thunde$ $u'%led! " closed 'y eyes, %egan to
d$ift away, and then a sc$ea' $ipped th$ough the house! "t was as sha$p as the nec# of a %$o#en
%ottle! " sat up with a yell, clutching at 'y chest!
"t was 6o! " had neve$ hea$d he$ sc$ea' li#e that in ou$ life togethe$, %ut " #new who it was, &ust
the sa'e! 'Stop hu$ting he$C' " shouted into the da$#ness! '(hoeve$ you a$e, stop hurting her5'
She sc$ea'ed again, as if so'ething with a #nife, cla'p, o$ hot po#e$ too# a 'alicious delight in
diso%eying 'e! "t see'ed to co'e f$o' a distance this ti'e, and he$ thi$d sc$ea', while &ust as
agoni=ed as the fi$st two, was fa$the$ away still! They we$e di'inishing as the little %oy's so%%ing
had di'inished!
A fou$th sc$ea' floated out of the da$#, then Sa$a was silent! .$eathless, the house %$eathed
a$ound 'e! Alive in the heat, awa$e in the faint sound of dawn thunde$!
3HA0TER T(ENT,*T(O
" was finally a%le to get into the =one, %ut couldn't do anything once " got the$e! " #eep a steno pad
handy fo$ notes + cha$acte$ lists, page $efe$ences, date ch$onologies + and " doodled in the$e a
little %it, %ut the sheet of pape$ in the ". $e'ained %lan#! The$e was no thunde$ing hea$t%eat, no
th$o%%ing eyes o$ difficulty %$eathing + no panic attac#, in othe$ wo$ds + %ut the$e was no sto$y,
eithe$! Andy 2$a#e, 6ohn Shac#lefo$d, Ray 5a$$aty, the %eautiful Regina (hiting ! ! ! they stood
with thei$ %ac#s tu$ned, $efusing to spea# o$ 'ove! The 'anusc$ipt was sitting in its accusto'ed
place on the left side of the typew$ite$, the pages held down with a p$etty chun# of )ua$t= "'d found
on the lane, %ut nothing was happening! Eilch!
" $ecogni=ed an i$ony he$e, pe$haps even a 'o$al! 9o$ yea$s " had fled the p$o%le's of the $eal
wo$ld, escaping into va$ious Na$nias of 'y i'agination! Now the $eal wo$ld had filled up with
%ewilde$ing thic#ets, the$e we$e things with teeth in so'e of the', and the wa$d$o%e was loc#ed
against 'e!
@yra, " had p$inted, putting he$ na'e inside a scalloped shape that was supposed to %e a ca%%age
$ose! .elow it " had d$awn a piece of %$ead with a %e$et tipped $a#ishly on the top c$ust! Noonan's
conception of 9$ench toast! The lette$s 8!.! su$$ounded with cu$licues! A shi$t with a $udi'enta$y
duc# on it! .eside this " had p$inted NUA31 NUA31! .elow NUA31 NUA31 " had w$itten 2ught to
fly away 'Bon >oyage('
At anothe$ spot on the sheet " had w$itten Dean' Auster' and De&ore( They we$e the ones who
had see'ed the 'ost the$e, the 'ost dange$ous! .ecause they had descendantsB .ut su$ely all
seven of those &ac#s 'ust, 'ustn't theyB "n those days 'ost fa'ilies we$e whoppe$s! And whe$e
had 1 %eenB " had as#ed, %ut 2evo$e hadn't wanted to say!
"t didn't feel any 'o$e li#e a d$ea' at nine*thi$ty on a sullenly hot Sunday 'o$ning! (hich left
exactly whatB 4isionsB Ti'e*t$avelB And if the$e was a pu$pose to such t$avel, what was itB (hat
was the 'essage, and who was t$ying to send itB " $e'e'%e$ed clea$ly what "'d said &ust %efo$e
passing f$o' the d$ea' in which " had sleepwal#ed out to 6o's studio and %$ought %ac# 'y
typew$ite$D 1 don't belie&e these lies( No$ would " now! Until " could see at least so'e of the t$uth, it
'ight %e safe$ to %elieve nothing at all!
At the top of the sheet upon which " was doodling, in heavily st$o#ed lette$s, " p$inted the wo$d
DANGER!, then ci$cled it! 9$o' the ci$cle " d$ew an a$$ow to 1y$a's na'e! 9$o' he$ na'e " d$ew
an a$$ow to 2ught to fly away 'Bon >oyage' and added #A""14!
.elow the %$ead wea$ing the %e$et " d$ew a little telephone! A%ove it " put a ca$toon %alloon with
R*R*R"N55C in it! As " finished this, the co$dless phone $ang! "t was sitting on the dec# $ail! " ci$cled
#A""14 and pic#ed up the phone!
'i#eB' She sounded excited! Happy! Relieved!
',eah,' " said! 'How a$e youB'
'5$eatC' she said, and " ci$cled 8!.! on 'y pad!
'8indy .$iggs called ten 'inutes ago + " &ust got off the phone with he$!
i#e, she's giving 'e 'y &o% %ac#C "sn't that wonde$fulB'
Su$e! And wonde$ful how it would #eep he$ in town! " c$ossed out 2ught to fly away 'Bon
>oyage'' #nowing that attie wouldn't go! Not now! And how could " as# he$ toB " thought again 1f
only 1 knew a little more ( ( (
'i#eB A$e you + '
'"t's ve$y wonde$ful,' " said! "n 'y 'ind's eye " could see he$ standing in the #itchen, d$awing the
#in#ed telephone co$d th$ough he$ finge$s, he$ legs long and coltish %elow he$ deni' sho$ts! " could
see the shi$t she was wea$ing, a white tee with a yellow duc# paddling ac$oss the f$ont! '" hope
8indy had the good g$ace to sound asha'ed of he$self!' " ci$cled the tee*shi$t "'d d$awn!
'She did! And she was f$an# enough to #ind of ! ! ! well, disa$' 'e! She said the (hit'o$e
wo'an tal#ed to he$ ea$ly last wee#! (as ve$y f$an# and to the point, 8indy said! " was to %e let go
i''ediately! "f that happened, the 'oney, co'pute$ e)uip'ent, and softwa$e 2evo$e funnelled
into the li%$a$y would #eep co'ing! "f it didn't, the flow of goods and 'oney would stop
i''ediately! She said she had to %alance the good of the co''unity against what she #new was
w$ong ! ! ! she said it was one of the toughest decisions she eve$ had to 'a#e ! ! ! '
'Uh*huh!' On the pad 'y hand 'oved of its own volition li#e a planchette gliding ove$ a Oui&a
%oa$d, p$inting the wo$ds 08EASE 3AN'T " 08EASE! 'The$e's p$o%a%ly so'e t$uth in it, %ut attie ! ! !
how 'uch do you suppose 8indy 'a#esB'
'" don't #now!'
'" %et it's 'o$e than any th$ee othe$ s'all*town li%$a$ians in the state of aine co'%ined!'
"n the %ac#g$ound " hea$d 1iD '3an " tal#, attieB 3an " tal# to i#eB 0lease can't " pleaseB'
'"n a 'inute, hon!' Then, to 'eD 'ay%e! All " #now is that " have 'y &o% %ac#, and "'' willing to
let %ygones %e %ygones!'
On the page, " d$ew a %oo#! Then " d$ew a se$ies of inte$loc#ed ci$cles %etween it and the duc#
tee*shi$t!
'1i wants to tal# to you,' attie said, laughing! 'She says the two of you went to the 9$ye%u$g
9ai$ last night!'
'(hoa, you 'ean " had a date with a p$etty gi$l and slept th$ough itB'
'See's that way! A$e you $eady fo$ he$B'
'Ready!'
'O#ay, he$e co'es the chatte$%ox!'
The$e was a $ustling as the phone changed hands, then 1i was the$e! '" taggled you at the 9ai$,
i#eC " taggled 'y own )ua$te$'ac#C'
'2id youB' " as#ed 'That was )uite a d$ea', wasn't it, 1iB'
The$e was a long silence at the othe$ end! " could i'agine attie wonde$ing what had happened
to he$ telephone chatte$%ox! At last 1i said in a hesitating voiceD ',ou the$e too!' "iu! '(e saw the
sna#e*dance ladies ! ! ! the pole with the %ell on top ! ! ! we went in the spoo#yhouse ! ! ! you fell
down in the %a$$elC "t wasn't a d$ea' ! ! ! was itB'
" could have convinced he$ that it was, %ut all at once that see'ed li#e a %ad idea, one that was
dange$ous in its own way! " saidD ',ou had on a p$etty hat and a p$etty d$ess!'
',eah5' 1i sounded eno$'ously $elieved! 'And you had on + '
'1y$a, stop! 8isten to 'e!' She stopped at once! '"t's %ette$ if you don't tal# a%out that d$ea' too
'uch, " thin#! To you$ 'o' o$ to anyone except 'e!'
'Except you!'
',es! And the sa'e with the $ef$ige$ato$ people! O#ayB'
'O#ay! i#e, the$e was a lady in attie's clothes!'
'" #now,' " said! "t was all $ight fo$ he$ to tal#, " was su$e of it, %ut " as#ed anywayD '(he$e's
attie nowB'
'(ate$in the flowe$s! (e got lots of flowe$s, a %illion at least! " have to clean up the ta%le! "t's a
cho$e! " don't 'ind, though! " li#e cho$es! (e had 9$ench toast! (e always do on Sundays! "t's
yu''y, 'specially with st$aw%e$$y sy$up!'
'" #now,' " said, d$awing an a$$ow to the piece of %$ead wea$ing the %e$et! '9$ench toast is g$eat!
1i, did you tell you$ 'o' a%out the lady in he$ d$essB'
'No! " thought it 'ight sca$e he$!' She d$opped he$ voice! 'He$e she co'esC'
'That's all $ight ! ! ! %ut we've got a sec$et, $ightB'
',es!'
'Now can " tal# to attie againB'
'O#ay!' He$ voice 'oved off a little!
'o''y*%o''y, i#e wants to tal# to you!' Then she ca'e %ac#! '(ill you %i==it us todayB (e
could go on anothe$ picnic!'
'" can't today, 1i! " have to wo$#!'
'attie neve$ wo$#s on Sunday!'
'(ell, when "'' w$iting a %oo#, " w$ite eve$y day! " have to, o$ else "'ll fo$get the sto$y! ay%e
we'll have a picnic on Tuesday, though! A %a$%ecue picnic at you$ house!'
'"s it long 'til TuesdayB'
'Not too long! 2ay afte$ to'o$$ow!'
'"s it long to w$ite a %oo#B'
'ediu'*long!'
" could hea$ attie telling 1i to give he$ the phone!
'" will, &ust one 'o$e second! i#eB'
'"'' he$e, 1i!'
'" love you!'
" was %oth touched and te$$ified! 9o$ a 'o'ent " was su$e 'y th$oat was going to loc# up the
way 'y chest used to when " t$ied to w$ite! Then it clea$ed and " said, '8ove you, too, 1i!'
'He$e's attie!'
Again the$e was the $ustly sound of the telephone changing hands, then attie saidD '2id that
$ef$esh you$ $ecollection of you$ date with 'y daughte$, si$B'
'(ell,' " said, 'it ce$tainly $ef$eshed he$s!' The$e was a lin# %etween attie and 'e, %ut it didn't
extend to this + " was su$e of it!
She was laughing! " loved the way she sounded this 'o$ning and " didn't want to %$ing he$
down ! ! ! %ut " didn't want he$ 'ista#ing the white line in the 'iddle of the $oad fo$ the c$oss'oc#,
eithe$!
'attie, you still need to %e ca$eful, o#ayB 6ust %ecause 8indy .$iggs offe$ed you you$ old &o%
%ac# doesn't 'ean eve$yone in town is suddenly you$ f$iend!'
'" unde$stand that,' she said! " thought again a%out as#ing if she'd conside$ ta#ing 1i up to 2e$$y
fo$ awhile + they could live in 'y house, stay fo$ the du$ation of the su''e$ if that was what it
too# fo$ things to $etu$n to no$'al down he$e! Except she wouldn't do it! (hen it ca'e to accepting
'y offe$ of high*p$iced New ,o$# legal talent, she'd had no choice! A%out this she did! O$ thought
she did, and how could " change he$ 'indB " had no logic, no connected facts7 all " had was a vague
da$# shape, li#e so'ething lying %eneath nine inches of snow%lind ice!
'" want you to %e ca$eful of two 'en in pa$ticula$,' " said! 'One is .ill 2ean! The othe$ is 1enny
Auste$! He's the one + '
' + with the %ig dog who wea$s the nec#e$chief! He + '
'That's .oo%e$$yC' 1i called f$o' the 'iddle distance! '.oo%e$$y lic#ed 'y facieC'
'5o out and play, hon,' attie said!
'"'' clea$un the ta%le!'
',ou can finish late$! 5o on outside now!' The$e was a pause as she watched 1i go out the doo$,
ta#ing St$ic#land with he$! Although the #id had left the t$aile$, attie still spo#e in the lowe$ed
tone of so'eone who doesn't want to %e ove$hea$d! 'A$e you t$ying to sca$e 'eB'
'No,' " said, d$awing $epeated ci$cles a$ound the wo$d DANGER! '.ut " want you to %e ca$eful!
.ill and 1enny 'ay have %een on 2evo$e's tea', li#e 9oot'an and Osgood! 2on't as# 'e why "
thin# that 'ight %e, %ecause " have no satisfacto$y answe$! "t's only a feeling, %ut since " got %ac#
on the TR, 'y feelings a$e diffe$ent!'
'(hat do you 'eanB'
'A$e you wea$ing a tee*shi$t with a duc# on itB'
'How do you #now thatB 2id 1i tell youB'
'2id she ta#e the little stuffed dog f$o' he$ Happy eal out with he$ &ust nowB'
A long pause! At last she said 'y 5od' in a voice so 8ow " could ha$dly hea$ it! Then againD
'How + '
'" don't #now how! " don't #now if you'$e still in a ! ! ! a %ad situation, eithe$, o$ why you 'ight
%e, %ut " feel that you a$e! That you %oth a$e!' " could have said 'o$e, %ut " was af$aid she'd thin# "'d
gone enti$ely off the $ails!
'He's dead5' she %u$st out! 'That old 'an is dead5 (hy can't he leave us aloneB'
'ay%e he has! ay%e "'' w$ong a%out all this! .ut the$e's no ha$' in %eing ca$eful, is the$eB'
'No,' she said! 'Usually that's t$ue!'
'UsuallyB'
'(hy don't you co'e and see 'e, i#eB ay%e we could go to the 9ai$ togethe$!'
'ay%e this fall we will! All th$ee of us!'
'"'d li#e that!'
'"n the 'eanti'e, "'' thin#ing a%out the #ey!'
'Thin#ing is half you$ p$o%le', i#e,' she said, and laughed again! Ruefully, " thought! And "
saw what she 'eant! (hat she didn't see' to unde$stand was that feeling was the othe$ half! "t's a
sling, and in the end " thin# it $oc#s 'ost of us to death!
" wo$#ed fo$ a while,' then ca$$ied the ". %ac# into the house and left the 'anusc$ipt on top! "
was done with it, at least fo$ the ti'e %eing! No 'o$e loo#ing fo$ the way %ac# th$ough the
wa$d$o%e7 no 'o$e Andy 2$a#e and 6ohn Shac#lefo$d until this was ove$! And, as " d$essed in long
pants and a %utton*up shi$t fo$ the fi$st ti'e in what felt li#e wee#s, it occu$$ed to 'e that pe$haps
so'ething + so'e fo$ce + had %een t$ying to sedate 'e with the sto$y " was telling! (ith the
a%ility to wo$# again! "t 'ade sense7 wo$# had always %een 'y d$ug of choice, even %ette$ than
%oo=e o$ the ella$il " still #ept in the %ath$oo' 'edicine ca%inet! O$ 'ay%e wo$# was only the
delive$y syste', the hypo with all the d$ea'y d$ea's inside it! ay%e the $eal d$ug was the =one!
.eing in the =one! 9eeling it, you so'eti'es hea$ the %as#et%all playe$s say! " was in the =one and "
was $eally feeling it!
" g$a%%ed the #eys to the 3hev$olet off the counte$ and loo#ed at the f$idge as " did! The 'agnets
we$e ci$cled again! "n the 'iddle was a 'essage "'d seen %efo$e, one that was now instantly
unde$standa%le, than#s to the ext$a agna%et lette$sD
help he$
'"'' doing 'y %est,' " said, and went out!
Th$ee 'iles no$th on Route L? + %y then you'$e on the pa$t of it which used to %e #nown as 3astle
Roc# Road*the$e's a g$eenhouse with a shop in f$ont of it! Slips 'n 5$eens, it's called, and 6o used to
spend a fai$ a'ount of ti'e the$e, %uying ga$dening supplies o$ &ust noodling with the two wo'en
who $an the place! One of the' was Helen Auste$, 1enny's wife!
" pulled in the$e at a$ound ten o'cloc# that Sunday 'o$ning -it was open, of cou$se7 du$ing tou$ist
season al'ost eve$y aine shop#eepe$ tu$ns heathen/ and pa$#ed next to a .ea'e$ with New ,o$#
plates! " paused long enough to hea$ the weathe$ fo$ecast on the $adio + continued hot and hu'id
fo$ anothe$ fo$ty*eight hou$s at least + and then got out! A wo'an wea$ing a %athing suit, a s#o$t,
and a giant yellow sunhat e'e$ged f$o' the shop with a %ag of peat 'oss c$adled in he$ a$'s! She
gave 'e a little s'ile! " $etu$ned it with eighteen pe$ cent inte$est! She was f$o' New ,o$#, and
that 'eant she wasn't a a$tian!
The shop was even hotte$ and' da'pe$ than the white 'o$ning outside! 8ila 0$oulx, the co*
owne$, was on the phone! The$e was a little fan %eside the cash $egiste$ and she was standing
di$ectly in f$ont of it, flapping the f$ont of he$ sleeveless %louse! She saw 'e and twiddled he$
finge$s in a wave! " twiddled 'ine %ac#, feeling li#e so'eone else! (o$# o$ no wo$#, " was still
=oning! Still feeling it!
" wal#ed a$ound the shop, pic#ing up a few things al'ost at $ando', watching 8ila out of the
co$ne$ of 'y eye and waiting fo$ he$ to get off the phone so " could tal# to he$ ! ! ! and all the ti'e
'y own p$ivate hype$d$ive was hu''ing softly away! At last she hung up and " ca'e to the
counte$!
'ichael Noonan, what a sight fo$ so$e eyes you a$eC' she said, and %egan $inging up 'y
pu$chases! '" was awfully so$$y to hea$ a%out 6ohanna! 5ot to get that $ight up f$ont! 6o was a pet!'
'Than#s, 8ila!'
'(elco'e! 2on't need to say any 'o$e a%out it, %ut with a thing li#e that it's %est to put it $ight
up f$ont! "'ve always %elieved it, always will %elieve it! Right up f$ont! 5oing to do a little
ga$dening, a$e youB' -ointer do a little ga'adnin' aaa you?
'"f it eve$ cools off!'
'AyuhC "sn't it wic#edB' She flapped the top of he$ %louse again to show 'e how wic#ed it was,
then pointed at one of 'y pu$chases! '(ant this one in a special %agB Always safe, neve$ so$$y,
that's 'y 'otto!'
" nodded, then loo#ed at the little %lac#%oa$d tilted against the counte$! 9RESH .8U.ERR,S, the
chal#ed 'essage $ead! THE 3RO0S "S "NC
'"'ll have a pint of %e$$ies, too,' " said! 'As long as they'$e not 9$iday's! " can do %ette$ than 9$iday!'
She nodded vigo$ously, as if to say she #new da'ned well " could! 'These we$e on the %ush
yest'y! That f$esh enough fo$ youB'
'5ood as gold,' " said! '.lue%e$$y's the na'e of 1enny's dog, isn't itB'
'Ain't he a funny oneB 5od, " love a %ig dog, if he's %ehaved!' She tu$ned, got a pint of %e$$ies
f$o' he$ little f$idge, and put the' in anothe$ %ag fo$ 'e!
'(he$e's HelenB' " as#ed! '2ay offB!'
'Not he$,' 8ila said! '"f she's in town, you can't get he$ out of this place 'less you %eat he$ with a
stic#! She and 1enny and the #ids went down Taxachusetts! The' and he$ %$othe$'s fa'ily clu%
togethe$ and get a seaside cottage two wee#s eve$y su''e$! They all went! Old .lue%e$$y, he'll
chase seagulls until he d$ops!' She laughed + it was a loud and hea$ty one! "t 'ade 'e thin# of
Sa$a Tidwell! O$ 'ay%e it was the way 8ila loo#ed at 'e as she did it! The$e was no laughte$ in he$
eyes! They we$e s'all and conside$ing, coldly cu$ious!
Would you for hrist's sake !uit it? " told 'yself! "hey can't all be in on it together' #ike5
3ouldn't they, thoughB The$e is such a thing as town consciousness + anyone who dou%ts it has
neve$ %een to a New England town 'eeting! (he$e the$e's a consciousness, is the$e not li#ely to %e
a su%consciousB And if 1y$a and " we$e doing the old 'ind*'eld thing, could not othe$ people in
TR*;A also %e doing it, pe$haps without even #nowing itB (e all sha$ed the sa'e ai$ and land7 we
sha$ed the la#e and the a)uife$ which lay %elow eve$ything, %u$ied wate$ tasting of $oc# and
'ine$als! (e sha$ed The St$eet as well, that place whe$e good pups and vile dogs could wal# side*
%y*side!
As " sta$ted out with 'y pu$chases in a cloth ca$$y*handle %ag, 8ila saidD '(hat a sha'e a%out
Royce e$$ill! 2id you hea$B'
'No,' " said!
'9ell down his cella$ stai$s yest'y evening! (hat a 'an his age was doing going down such a
steep flight of steps is %eyond 'e, %ut " suppose once you get to his age, you have you$ own
$easons fo$ doing things!'
1s he dead? " sta$ted to as#, then $eph$ased! "t wasn't the way the )uestion was exp$essed on the
TR! '2id he passB'
'Not yet! otton Rescue too# hi' to 3astle 3ounty 5ene$al! He's in a co'a!' omber, she said it!
'They don't thin# he'll eve$ wa#e up, poo$ fella! The$e's a piece of histo$y that'll die with hi'!'
'" suppose that's t$ue!' -ood riddance, " thought! '2oes he have child$enB'
'No! The$e have %een e$$ills on the TR fo$ two hund$ed yea$s7 one died at 3e'ete$y Ridge! .ut
all the old fa'ilies a$e dying out now! ,ou have a nice day, i#e!' She s'iled! He$ eyes $e'ained
flat and conside$ing!
" got into 'y 3hevy, put the %ag with 'y pu$chases in it on the passenge$ seat, then si'ply sat
fo$ a 'o'ent, letting the ai$ conditione$ pou$ cool ai$ on 'y face and nec#! 1enny Auste$ was in
Taxachusetts! That was good! A step in the $ight di$ection! .ut the$e was still 'y ca$eta#e$!
'.ill's not he$e,' ,vette said! She stood in the doo$, %loc#ing it as well as she could -you can only do
so 'uch in that $ega$d when you'$e five*th$ee and weigh $oughly a hund$ed pounds/, studying 'e
with the gi'let ga=e of a nightclu% %ounce$ denying $e*ent$y to a d$un# who's %een tossed out on
his ea$ once al$eady!
" was on the po$ch of the neat*as*eve$*you*saw 3ape 3od which stands at the top of 0ea%ody
Hill and loo#s all the way ac$oss New Ha'pshi$e and into 4e$'ont's %ac# ya$d! .ill's e)uip'ent
sheds we$e lined up to the left of the house, all of the' painted the sa'e shade of g$ay, each with
its own signD 2EAN 3ARETA1"N5, No! :, No! F, and No! G! 0a$#ed in f$ont of No! F was .ill's 2odge
Ra'! " loo#ed at it, then %ac# at ,vette! He$ lips tightened a little 'o$e! Anothe$ notch and "
figu$ed they'd %e gone enti$ely!
'He went to No$th 3onway with .utch (iggins,' she said! 'They went in .utch's t$uc#! To get +
'
'No need lying fo$ 'e, dea$ hea$t,' .ill said f$o' %ehind he$!
"t was still ove$ an hou$ shy of noon, and on the 8o$d's 2ay to %oot, %ut " had neve$ hea$d a 'an
who sounded 'o$e ti$ed! He clu'ped down the hall, and as he ca'e out of its shadows and into the
light + the sun was finally %u$ning th$ough the 'u$# + " saw that .ill now loo#ed his age! Eve$y
yea$ of it, and 'ay%e ten 'o$e to g$ow on! He was wea$ing his usual #ha#i shi$t and pants + .ill
2ean would %e a 2ic#ies 'an until the day he died + %ut his shoulde$s loo#ed slu'ped, al'ost
sp$ained, a*s if he'd spent a wee# lugging %uc#ets that we$e too heavy fo$ hi'! The falling*away of
his face had finally %egun, an indefina%le so'ething that 'a#es the eyes loo# too %ig, the &aw too
p$o'inent, the 'outh a %it loose! He loo#ed old! The$e we$e no child$en to ca$$y on the fa'ily line
of wo$#, eithe$7 all the old fa'ilies we$e dying out, 8ila 0$oulx had said! And 'ay%e that was a
good thing!
'.ill + ' she %egan, %ut he $aised one of his %ig hands to stop he$! The callused finge$tips shoo# a
little!
'5o in the #itchen a dight,' he told he$! '" need to tal# to 'y compadre he$e! 'T'won't ta#e long!'
,vette loo#ed at hi', and when she loo#ed %ac# at 'e, she had indeed $eached =e$o lip*su$face!
The$e was &ust a %lac# line whe$e they had %een, li#e a 'a$# dashed off with a pencil! " saw with
woeful cla$ity that she hated 'e!
'2on't you ti$e hi' out,' she said to 'e! 'He hasn't %een sleepin! "t's the heat!' She wal#ed %ac#
down the hall, all stiff %ac# and high shoulde$s, disappea$ing into shadows that we$e p$o%a%ly cool!
"t always see's to %e cool in the houses of old people, have you noticedB
.ill ca'e out onto the po$ch and put his %ig hands into the poc#ets of his pants without offe$ing
to sha#e with 'e! '" ain't got nothin to say to you! ,ou and 'e's )uits!'
'(hy, .illB (hy a$e we )uitsB'
He loo#ed west, whe$e the hills stepped into the %u$ning su''e$ ha=e, disappea$ing in it %efo$e
they could %eco'e 'ountains, and said nothing!
'"'' t$ying to help that young wo'an!' He gave 'e a loo# f$o' the co$ne$s of his eyes that "
could $ead well enough! 'Ahuh! Help y'self $ight into he$ pants! " see 'en co'e up f$o' New ,o$#
and New 6e$sey with thei$ young gi$ls! Su''e$ wee#ends, s#i wee#ends, it don't 'atte$! en who
go with gi$ls that age always loo# the sa'e, got thei$ tongues $un out even when thei$ 'ouths a$e
shut! Now you loo# the sa'e!'
" felt %oth ang$y and e'%a$$assed, %ut " $esisted the u$ge to chase hi' in that di$ection! That was
what he wanted!
'(hat happened he$eB' " as#ed hi'! '(hat did you$ fathe$s and g$andfathe$s and g$eat*
g$andfathe$s do to Sa$a Tidwell and he$ fa'ilyB ,ou didn't &ust 'ove the' on, did youB'
'2idn't have to,' .ill said, loo#ing past 'e at the hills! His eyes we$e 'oist al'ost to the point of
tea$s, %ut his &aw was set and ha$d! 'They 'oved on the'selves! Neve$ was a nigge$ who didn't
have an itchy foot, 'y dad used to say!'
'(ho set the t$ap that #illed Son Tidwell's %oyB (as it you$ fathe$, .illB (as it 9$edB'
His eyes 'oved7 his &aw neve$ did! '" dunno what you'$e tal#ing a%out!'
'" hea$ hi' c$ying in 'y house! 2o you #now what it's li#e to hea$ a dead child c$ying in you$
houseB Some bastard trapped him like a weasel and 1 hear him crying in my fucking house5'
',ou'$e going to need a new ca$eta#e$,' .ill said! '" can't do fo$ you no 'o$e! 2on't want to! (hat
" want is fo$ you to get off 'y po$ch!'
'(hat's happeningB Help 'e, fo$ 3h$ist's sa#e!'
'"'ll help you with the toe of 'y shoe if you don't get going on you$ own!'
" loo#ed at hi' a 'o'ent longe$, ta#ing in the wet eyes and the set &aw, his divided natu$e
w$itten on his face!
'" lost 'y wife, you old %asta$d,' " said! 'A wo'an you clai'ed to love!'
Now his &aw 'oved at last! He loo#ed at 'e with su$p$ise and in&u$y! 'That didn't happen here,'
he said! 'That didn't have anything to do with he$e! She 'ight've %een off the TR %ecause ! ! ! well,
she 'ight've had he$ $easons to %e off the TR ! ! ! %ut she &ust had a st$o#e! (ould have happened
anywhe$e! Anywhere!'
'" don't %elieve that! " don't thin# you do, eithe$! Something followed her to Derry, 'ay%e %ecause
she was p$egnant ! ! ! '
.ill's eyes widened! " gave hi' a chance to say so'ething, %ut he didn't ta#e it!
' ! ! ! o$ 'ay%e &ust %ecause she #new too 'uch!'
'She had a st$o#e!' .ill's voice wasn't )uite even! '" $ead the o%itua$y 'yself! She had a da'n
stroke!'
'(hat did she find outB Tal# to 'e, .ill! 0lease!'
The$e was a long pause! Until it was ove$ " allowed 'yself the luxu$y of thin#ing " 'ight
actually %e getting th$ough to hi'!
'"'ve only got one 'o$e thing to say to you, i#e + stand %ac#! 9o$ the sa#e of you$ i''o$tal
soul, stand %ac# and let things $un thei$ cou$se! They will whethe$ you do o$ don't! This $ive$ has
al'ost co'e to the sea7 it won't %e da''ed %y the li#es of you! Stand %ac#! 9o$ the love of 3h$ist!'
Do you care about your soul' #r( Noonan? -od's butterfly caught in a cocoon of flesh that will
soon stink like mine?
.ill tu$ned and wal#ed to his doo$, the heels of his wo$#%oots clodding on the painted %oa$ds!
'Stay away f$o' attie and 1i,' " said! '"f you so 'uch as go nea$ that t$aile$ + '
He tu$ned %ac#, and the ha=y sunshine glinted on the t$ac#s %elow his eyes! He too# a %andanna
f$o' his %ac# poc#et and wiped his chee#s! '" ain't sti$$in f$o' this house! " wish to 5od "'d neve$
co'e %ac# f$o' 'y vacation in the fi$st place, %ut " did + 'ostly on you$ account, i#e! Those
two down on (asp Hill have nothing to fea$ f$o' 'e! No, not f$o' me!'
He went inside and closed the doo$! " stood the$e loo#ing at it, feeling un$eal + su$ely " could
not have had such a deadly conve$sation with .ill 2ean, could "B .ill who had $ep$oached 'e fo$
not letting fol#s down he$e sha$e + and pe$haps ease + 'y g$ief fo$ 6o, .ill who had welco'ed
'e %ac# so wa$'lyB
Then " hea$d a clack sound! He 'ight not have loc#ed his doo$ while he was at ho'e in his
enti$e life, %ut he had loc#ed it now! The clac# was ve$y clea$ in the %$eathless 6uly ai$! "t told 'e
eve$ything " had to #now a%out 'y long f$iendship with .ill 2ean! " tu$ned and wal#ed %ac# to 'y
ca$, 'y head down! No$ did " tu$n when " hea$d a window $un up %ehind 'e!
'2on't you eve$ co'e %ac# he$e, you town %asta$dC' ,vette 2ean c$ied ac$oss the swelte$ing
doo$ya$d! ',ou've %$o#en his hea$tC 2on't you eve$ co'e %ac#C 2on't you eve$C 2on't you e&er5'
'0lease,' $s! ! said! '2on't as# 'e any 'o$e )uestions, i#e! " can't affo$d to get in .ill 2ean's
%ad %oo#s, any 'o$e'n 'y 'a could affo$d to get into No$'al Auste$'s o$ 9$ed 2ean's!'
" shifted the phone to 'y othe$ ea$! 'All " want to #now is + '
'"n this pa$t of the wo$ld ca$eta#e$s p$etty well $un the whole show! "f they say to a su''e$ fella
that he should hi$e this ca$pente$ o$ that 'lect$ician, why, that's who the su''e$ fella hi$es! O$ if a
ca$eta#e$ says this one should %e fi$ed %ecause he ain't p$oving $elia%le, he is fi$ed! O$ she! .ecause
what goes once fo$ plu'%e$s and landscape$s and 'lect$icians has always gone twice fo$
house#eepe$s! "f you want to %e $eco''ended + and stay $eco''ended + you have to #eep on
the sunny side of people li#e 9$ed and .ill 2ean, o$ No$'al and 1enny Auste$! 2on't you seeB' She
was al'ost pleading! '(hen .ill found out " told you a%out what No$'al Auste$ did to 1e$$y, oooo
he was so 'ad at 'e!'
'1enny Auste$'s %$othe$ + the one No$'al d$owned unde$ the pu'p + his na'e was 1e$$yB'
'Ahuh! "'ve #nown a lot of fol#s na'e thei$ #ids ali#e, thin# it's cute! (hy, " went to school with
a %$othe$ and siste$ na'ed Roland and Rolanda The$$iault, " thin# Roland's in ancheste$ now, and
Rolanda 'a$$ied that %oy f$o' + '
'.$enda, &ust answe$ one )uestion! "'ll neve$ tell! 0leaseB'
" waited, 'y %$eath held, fo$ the clic# that would co'e when she put he$ telephone %ac# in its
c$adle! "nstead, she spo#e th$ee wo$ds in a soft, al'ost $eg$etful voice! '(hat is itB'
'(ho was 3a$la 2eanB'
" waited th$ough anothe$ long pause, 'y hand playing with the $i%%on that had co'e off 1i's
tu$n*of*the*centu$y st$aw hat!
',ou dassn't tell anyone " told you anything,' she said at last!
'" won't!'
'3a$la was .ill's twin siste$! She died sixty*five yea$s ago, du$ing the ti'e of the fi$es!' The fi$es
.ill clai'ed had %een set %y 1i's g$andfathe$ + his going*away p$esent to the TR! '" don't #now
&ust how it happened! .ill neve$ tal#s a%out it! "f you tell hi' " told you, "'ll neve$ 'a#e anothe$ %ed
in the TR! He'll see to it!' Then, in a hopeless voice, she saidD 'He 'ay #now anyway!'
.ased on 'y own expe$iences and su$'ises, " guessed she 'ight %e $ight a%out that! .ut even if
she was, she'd have a chec# f$o' 'e eve$y 'onth fo$ the $est of he$ wo$#ing life! " had no intention
of telling he$ that ove$ the telephone, though + it would scald he$ ,an#ee soul! "nstead " than#ed
he$, assu$ed he$ again of 'y disc$etion, and hung up!
" sat at the ta%le fo$ a 'o'ent, sta$ing %lan#ly at .unte$, then saidD '(ho's he$eB'
No answe$!
'3o'e on,' " said! '2on't %e shy! 8et's go nineteen o$ ninety*two down! .a$$ing that, let's tal#!'
Still no answe$! Not so 'uch as a shive$ of the %ell a$ound the stuffed 'oose's nec#! " spied the
sc$i%%le of notes "'d 'ade while tal#ing to 6o's %$othe$ and d$ew the' towa$d 'e! " had put @ia,
@yra, @ito, and arla in a %ox! Now " sc$i%%led out the %otto' line of that %ox and added the na'e
@erry to the list! 1'&e known a lot of folks name their kids alike, $s! ! had said! "hey think it's
cute!
" didn't thin# it was cute7 " thought it was c$eepy!
"t occu$$ed to 'e that at least two of these soundali#es had d$owned + 1e$$y Auste$ unde$ a
pu'p, 1ia Noonan in he$ 'othe$'s dying %ody when she wasn't 'uch %igge$ than a sunflowe$ seed!
And " had seen the ghost of a thi$d d$owned child in the la#e! 1itoB (as that one 1itoB O$ was
1ito the one who had died of %lood*poisoningB
"hey name their kids alike' they think it's cute(
How 'any soundali#e #ids had the$e %een to sta$t withB How 'any we$e leftB " thought the
answe$ to the fi$st )uestion didn't 'atte$, and that " #new the answe$ to the second one al$eady!
"his ri&er has almost come to the sea, .ill had said!
3a$la, 1e$$y, 1ito, 1ia ! ! ! all gone! Only 1y$a 2evo$e was left!
" got up so fast and ha$d that " #noc#ed ove$ 'y chai$! The clatte$ in the silence 'ade 'e c$y out!
" was leaving, and $ight now! No 'o$e telephone calls, no 'o$e playing Andy 2$a#e, 0$ivate
2etective, no 'o$e depositions o$ half*assed wooings of the lady fai$! " should have followed 'y
instincts and gotten the fuc# out of 2odge that fi$st night! (ell, "'d go now, &ust get in the 3hevy
and haul ass fo$ 2e$ +
.unte$'s %ell &angled fu$iously! " tu$ned and saw it %ouncing a$ound his nec# as if %atted to and
f$o %y a hand " couldn't see! The sliding doo$ giving on the dec# %egan to fly open and clap shut
li#e so'ething hoo#ed to a pulley! The %oo# of "ough Stuff c$osswo$d pu==les on the end*ta%le and
the 2SS p$og$a' guide %lew open, thei$ pages $iffling! The$e was a se$ies of $attling thuds ac$oss
the floo$, as if so'ething eno$'ous we$e c$awling $apidly towa$d 'e, pounding its fists as it ca'e!
A d$aft + not cold %ut wa$', li#e the $ush of ai$ p$oduced %y a su%way t$ain on a su''e$ night
+ %uffeted past 'e! "n it " hea$d a st$ange voice which see'ed to %e saying Bye*B,, bye*B,, bye*
B,, as if wishing 'e a good t$ip ho'e! Then, as it dawned on 'e that the voice was actually saying
@i*@i, @i*@i, @i*@i, so'ething st$uc# 'e and #noc#ed 'e violently fo$wa$d! "t felt li#e a la$ge soft
fist! " %uc#led ove$ the ta%le, clawing at it to stay up, ove$tu$ning the la=y susan with the salt and
peppe$ sha#e$s on it, the nap#in holde$, the little vase $s! ! had filled with daisies! The vase
$olled off the ta%le and shatte$ed! The #itchen T4 %la$ed on, so'e politician tal#ing a%out how
inflation was on the 'a$ch again! The 32 playe$ sta$ted up, d$owning out the politician7 it was the
Rolling Stones doing a cove$ of Sa$a Tidwell's '" Reg$et ,ou, .a%y!' Upstai$s, one s'o#e ala$'
went off, then anothe$, then a thi$d! They we$e &oined a 'o'ent late$ %y the wa$%le*whoop of the
3hevy's ca$ ala$'! The whole wo$ld was cacophony!
So'ething hot and pillowy sei=ed 'y w$ist! y hand shot fo$wa$d li#e a piston and sla''ed
down on the steno pad! " watched as it pawed clu'sily to a %lan# page, then sei=ed the pencil
which lay nea$%y! " g$ipped it li#e a dagge$ and then so'ething w$ote with it, not guiding 'y hand
%ut raping it! The hand 'oved slowly at fi$st, al'ost %lindly, then pic#ed up speed until it was
flying, al'ost tea$ing th$ough the sheetD
" had al'ost $eached the %otto' of the page when the cold descended again, that oute$ cold that
was li#e sleet in 6anua$y, chilling 'y s#in and c$ac#ling the snot in 'y nose and sending two
shudde$y puffs of white ai$ f$o' 'y 'outh! y hand clenched and the pencil snapped in two!
.ehind 'e, .unte$'s %ell $ang out one final fu$ious convulsion %efo$e falling silent! Also f$o'
%ehind 'e ca'e a peculia$ dou%le pop, li#e the sound of cha'pagne co$#s %eing d$awn! Then it
was ove$! (hateve$ it had %een o$ howeve$ 'any they had %een, it was finished! " was alone again!
" tu$ned off the 32 playe$ &ust as ic# and 1eith 'oved on to a white*%oy ve$sion of Howling
(olf, then $an upstai$s and pushed the $eset %uttons on the s'o#e*detecto$s! " leaned out the
window of the %ig guest %ed$oo' while " was up the$e, ai'ed the fo% of 'y #ey$ing down at the
3hev$olet, and pushed the %utton on it! The ala$' )uit!
(ith the wo$st of the noise gone " could hea$ the T4 cac#ling away in the #itchen! " went down,
#illed it, then f$o=e with 'y hand still on the O99 %utton, loo#ing at 6o's annoying waggy*cat cloc#!
"ts tail had finally stopped switching, and its %ig plastic eyes lay on the floo$! They had popped
$ight out of its head!
" went down to the 4illage 3afe fo$ suppe$, snagging the last Sunday "elegram f$o' the $ac#
-8OM1*TER MOG*L DEVORE DIES IN WESTERN MAINE TOWN WHERE HE GREW
*1, the headline $ead/ %efo$e sitting down at the counte$! The acco'panying photo was a studio
shot of 2evo$e that loo#ed a%out thi$ty yea$s old! He was s'iling! ost people do that )uite
natu$ally! On 2evo$e's face it loo#ed li#e a lea$ned s#ill!
" o$de$ed the %eans that we$e left ove$ f$o' .uddy 6ellison's Satu$day*night %eanhole suppe$!
y fathe$ wasn't 'uch fo$ apho$is's + in 'y fa'ily dispensing nuggets of wisdo' was o''s
&o% + %ut as 2addy wa$'ed up the Satu$day*night yelloweyes in the oven on Sunday afte$noon, he
would inva$ia%ly say that %eans and %eef stew we$e %ette$ the second day! " guess it stuc#! The only
othe$ piece of fathe$ly wisdo' " can $e'e'%e$ $eceiving was that you should always wash you$
hands afte$ you too# a shit in a %us station!
(hile " was $eading the sto$y on 2evo$e, Aud$ey ca'e ove$ and told 'e that Royce e$$ill had
passed without $ecove$ing consciousness! The fune$al would %e Tuesday afte$noon at 5$ace
.aptist, she said! ost of the town would %e the$e, 'any fol#s &ust to see "la ese$ve awa$ded the
Boston 6ost cane! 2id " thin# "'d get ove$B No, " said, p$o%a%ly not! " thought it p$udent not to add
that "'d li#ely %e attending a victo$y pa$ty at attie 2evo$e's while Royce's fune$al was going on
down the $oad!
The usual late*Sunday*afte$noon flow of custo'e$s ca'e and went while " ate, people o$de$ing
%u$ge$s, people o$de$ing %eans, people o$de$ing chic#en salad sandwiches, people %uying sixpac#s!
So'e we$e f$o' the TR, so'e f$o' away! " didn't notice 'any of the', and no one spo#e to 'e! "
have no idea who left the nap#in on 'y newspape$, %ut when " put down the A section and tu$ned
to find the spo$ts, the$e it was! " pic#ed it up, 'eaning only to put it aside, and saw what was
w$itten on the %ac# in %ig da$# lette$sD 5ET O99 THE TR!
" neve$ found out who left it the$e! " guess it could have %een any of the'!
3HA0TER T(ENT,*THREE
The 'u$# ca'e %ac# and t$ansfo$'ed that Sunday night's dus# into a thing of decadent %eauty! The
sun tu$ned $ed as it slid down towa$d the hills and the ha=e pic#ed up the glow, tu$ning the weste$n
s#y into a nose%leed! " sat out on the dec# and watched it, t$ying to do a c$osswo$d pu==le and not
getting ve$y fa$! (hen the phone $ang, " d$opped "ough Stuff on top of 'y 'anusc$ipt as " went to
answe$ it! " was ti$ed of loo#ing at the title of 'y %oo# eve$y ti'e " passed!
'HelloB'
'(hat's going on up the$eB' 6ohn Sto$$ow de'anded! He didn't even %othe$ to say hi! He didn't
sound ang$y, though7 he sounded totally pu'ped! '"'' 'issing the whole godda' soap ope$aC'
'" invited 'yself to lunch on Tuesday,' " said! 'Hope you don't 'ind!'
'No, that's good, the 'o$e the 'e$$ie$!' He sounded as if he a%solutely 'eant it! '(hat a su''e$,
huhB (hat a su''e$C Anything happen &ust latelyB Ea$th)ua#esB 4olcanoesB ass suicidesB'
'No 'ass suicides, %ut the old guy died,' " said!
'Shit, the whole world #nows ax 2evo$e #ic#ed it,' he said! 'Su$p$ise 'e, i#eC Stun 'eC a#e
'e holle$ %oy*howdyC'
'No, the other old guy! Royce e$$ill!'
'" don't #now who you + oh, wait! The one with the gold cane who loo#ed li#e an exhi%it f$o'
0urassic 6arkB'
'That's hi'!'
'.u''e$! Othe$wise ! ! ! B'
'Othe$wise eve$ything's unde$ cont$ol,' " said, then thought of the popped*out eyes of the cat*
cloc# and al'ost laughed! (hat stopped 'e was a #ind of su$ety that $! 5ood Hu'o$ an was
&ust an act + 6ohn had $eally called to as# what, if anything, was going on %etween 'e and attie!
And what was " going to sayB Nothing yetB One #iss, one instant %lue*steel ha$d*on, the
funda'ental things apply as ti'e goes %yB
.ut 6ohn had othe$ things on his 'ind! '8isten, ichael, " called %ecause "'ve got so'ething to
tell you! " thin# you'll %e %oth a'used and a'a=ed!'
'A state we all c$ave,' " said! '8ay it on 'e!'
'Rogette (hit'o$e called, and ! ! ! you didn't happen to give he$ 'y pa$ents' nu'%e$, did youB
"'' %ac# in New ,o$# now, %ut she called 'e in 0hilly!'
'" didn't ha&e you$ pa$ents' nu'%e$! ,ou didn't leave it on eithe$ of you$ 'achines!'
'Oh, $ight!' No apology7 he see'ed too excited to thin# of such 'undanities! " %egan to feel
excited 'yself, and " didn't even #now what the hell was going on! '" gave it to attie! 2o you
thin# the (hit'o$e wo'an called attie to get itB (ould attie give it to he$B'
'"'' not su$e that if attie ca'e upon Rogette fla'ing in a tho$oughfa$e, she'd piss on he$ to put
he$ out!'
'4ulga$, ichael, trCs &ulgarino!' .ut he was laughing! 'ay%e (hit'o$e got it the sa'e way
2evo$e got you$s!'
'0$o%a%ly so,' " said! '" don't #now what'll happen in the 'onths ahead, %ut $ight now "'' su$e
she's still got access to ax 2evo$e's pe$sonal cont$ol panel! And if anyone #nows how to push the
%uttons on it, it's p$o%a%ly he$! 2id she call f$o' 0al' Sp$ingsB'
'Uh*huh! She said she'd &ust finished a p$eli'ina$y 'eeting with 2evo$e's atto$neys conce$ning
the old 'an's will! Acco$ding to he$, 5$a'pa left attie 2evo$e eighty 'illion dolla$s!'
" was st$uc# silent! " wasn't a'used yet, %ut " was ce$tainly a'a=ed!
'5ets ya, don't itB' 6ohn said gleefully!
',ou 'ean he left it to 1y$a,' " said at last! '8eft it in t$ust to @yra!'
'No, that's &ust what he did not do! " as#ed (hit'o$e th$ee ti'es, %ut %y the thi$d " was sta$ting to
unde$stand! The$e was 'ethod in his 'adness! Not 'uch, %ut a little! ,ou see, the$e's a condition!
"f he left the 'oney to the 'ino$ child instead of to the 'othe$, the condition would have no
weight! "t's funny when you conside$ that attie isn't long past 'ino$ status he$self!'
'9unny,' " ag$eed, and thought of he$ d$ess sliding %etween 'y hands and he$ s'ooth %a$e waist!
" also thought of .ill 2ean saying that 'en who went with gi$ls that age always loo#ed the sa'e,
had thei$ tongues $un out even if thei$ 'ouths we$e shut!
'(hat st$ing did he put on the 'oneyB'
'That attie $e'ain on the TR fo$ one yea$ following 2evo$e's death + until 6uly :J, :;;;! She
can leave on day*t$ips, %ut she has to %e tuc#ed up in he$ TR*;A %ed eve$y night %y nine o'cloc#, o$
else the legacy is fo$feit! 2id you eve$ hea$ such a %ullshit thing in you$ lifeB Outside of so'e old
5eo$ge Sande$s 'ovie, that isB'
'No,' " said, and $ecalled 'y visit to the 9$ye%u$g 9ai$ with 1y$a! 4&en in death he's seeking
custody, " had thought, and of cou$se this was the sa'e thing! He wanted the' he$e! Even in death
he wanted the' on the TR!
'"t won't flyB' " as#ed!
'Of course it won't fly! 9uc#ing c$ac#pot 'ight as well have w$itten he'd give he$ eighty 'illion
dolla$s if she used %lue ta'pons fo$ a yea$! .ut she'll get the eighty 'il, all $ight! y hea$t is set on
it! "'ve al$eady tal#ed to th$ee of ou$ estate guys, and ! ! ! you don't thin# " should %$ing one of the'
up with 'e on Tuesday, do youB (ill Stevenson'll %e the point 'an in the estate phase, if attie
ag$ees!' He was all %ut %a%%ling! He hadn't had a thing to d$in#, "'d've %et the fa$' on it, %ut he was
s#y*high on all the possi%ilities! (e'd gotten to the happily*eve$*afte$ pa$t of the fai$y tale, as fa$ as
he was conce$ned7 3inde$ella co'es ho'e f$o' the %all th$ough a cash cloud%u$st!
' ! ! ! cou$se (ill's a little %it old,' 6ohn was saying, 'a%out th$ee hund$ed o$ so, which 'eans he's
not exactly a fun guy at a pa$ty, %ut ! ! ! '
'8eave hi' ho'e, why don't youB' " said! 'The$e'll %e plenty of ti'e to ca$ve up 2evo$e's will
late$ on! And in the i''ediate futu$e, " don't thin# attie's going to have any p$o%le' o%se$ving
the %ullshit condition! She &ust got he$ &o% %ac#, $e'e'%e$B'
',eah, the white %uffalo d$ops dead and the whole he$d scatte$sC' 6ohn exulted! '8oo# at e' goC
And the new 'ulti'illionai$e goes %ac# to filing %oo#s and 'ailing out ove$due noticesC O#ay,
Tuesday we'll &ust pa$ty!'
'5ood!'
'0a$ty 'til we pu#e!'
'(ell ! ! ! 'ay%e us olde$ fol#s will &ust pa$ty until we'$e 'ildly nauseated, would that %e all
$ightB'
'Su$e! "'ve al$eady called Ro'eo .issonette, and he's going to %$ing 5eo$ge 1ennedy, the p$ivate
detective who got all that hila$ious shit on 2u$gin! .issonette says 1ennedy's a sc$ea' when he
gets a d$in# o$ two in hi'! " thought "'d %$ing so'e stea#s f$o' 0ete$ 8uge$'s, did " tell you thatB'
'" don't %elieve you did!'
'.est stea#s in the wo$ld! ichael, do you $eali=e what's happened to that young wo'anB 4ighty
million dollars5'
'She'll %e a%le to $eplace Scoutie!'
'HuhB'
'Nothing! (ill you co'e in to'o$$ow night o$ on TuesdayB'
'Tuesday 'o$ning a$ound ten, into 3astle 3ounty Ai$po$t! New England Ai$! i#e, a$e you all
$ightB ,ou sound odd!'
'"'' all $ight! "'' whe$e "'' supposed to %e! " thin#!'
'(hat's that supposed to 'eanB' " had wande$ed out onto the dec#! "n the distance thunde$
$u'%led! "t was hotte$ than hell, not a %$eath of %$ee=e sti$$ing! The sunset was fading to a %aleful
afte$glow! The s#y in the west loo#ed li#e the white of a %loodshot eye!
'" don't #now,' " said, '%ut " have an idea the situation will cla$ify itself! "'ll 'eet you at the
ai$po$t!'
'O#ay,' he said, and then, in a hushed, al'ost $eve$ential voiceD 'Eighty 'illion 'othe$fuc#ing
A'e$ican dolla$s!'
'"t's a whole lotta lettuce,' " ag$eed, and wished hi' a good night!
" d$an# %lac# coffee and ate toast in the #itchen the next 'o$ning, watching the T4 weathe$'an!
8i#e so 'any of the' these days, he had a slightly 'ad loo#, as if all those 2opple$ $ada$ i'ages
had d$iven hi' to the %$in# of so'ething! " thin# of it as the illennial 4ideo 5a'e loo#!
'(e've got anothe$ thi$ty*six hou$s of this soup to wo$# th$ough and then the$e's going to %e a %ig
change,' he was saying, and pointed to so'e da$# g$ay scu' lu$#ing in the idwest! Tiny ani'ated
lightning*%olts danced in it li#e defective spa$#plugs! .eyond the scu' and the lightning*%olts,
A'e$ica loo#ed clea$ all the way out to the dese$t count$y, and the posted te'pe$atu$es we$e fifteen
deg$ees coole$! '(e'll see te'ps in the 'id*nineties today and can't loo# fo$ 'uch $elief tonight o$
to'o$$ow 'o$ning! .ut to'o$$ow afte$noon these f$ontal sto$'s will $each weste$n aine, and "
thin# 'ost of you a$e going to want to #eep updated on weathe$ conditions! .efo$e we get %ac# to
coole$ ai$ and %$ight clea$ s#ies on (ednesday, we'$e p$o%a%ly going to see violent thunde$sto$'s,
heavy $ain, hail in so'e locations! To$nados a$e $a$e in aine, %ut so'e towns in weste$n and
cent$al aine could see the' to'o$$ow! .ac# to you, Ea$l!'
Ea$l, the 'o$ning news guy, had the innocent %eefy loo# of a $ecent $eti$ee f$o' the
3hippendales and $ead off the Telep$o'pte$ li#e one! '(ow,' he said! 'That's )uite a fo$ecast,
4ince! To$nados a possi%ility!'
'(ow,' " said! 'Say wow again, Ea$l! 2o it 'til "'' satisfied!'
'Holy cow,' Ea$l said &ust to spite 'e, and the telephone $ang! " went to answe$ it, giving the
waggy cloc# a loo# as " went %y! The night had %een )uiet + no so%%ing, no sc$ea'ing, no
noctu$nal adventu$es + %ut the cloc# was dis)uieting, &ust the sa'e! "t hung the$e On the wall
eyeless and dead, li#e a 'essage full of %ad news!
'HelloB'
'$! NoonanB'
" #new the voice, %ut fo$ a 'o'ent couldn't place it! "t was %ecause she had called 'e $!
Noonan! To .$enda ese$ve "'d %een i#e fo$ al'ost fifteen yea$s!
'$s !B .$endaB (hat + '
'" can't wo$# fo$ you any'o$e,' she said, all in a $ush! '"'' so$$y " can't give you p$ope$ notice + "
neve$ stopped wo$# fo$ anyone without giving notice, not even that old d$un# $ 3$oyden + %ut "
have to! 0lease unde$stand!'
'2id .ill find out " called youB " swea$ to 5od, .$enda, " neve$ said a wo$d + '
'No! " haven't spo#en to hi', no$ he to 'e! " &ust can't co'e %ac# to Sa$a 8aughs! " had a %ad
d$ea' last night! A te$$i%le d$ea'! " d$ea'ed that ! ! ! so'ething's 'ad at 'e! "f " co'e %ac#, "
could have an accident! "t would look li#e an accident, at least, %ut ! ! ! it wouldn't %e!'
"hat's silly' #rs #(, " wanted to say! ,ou're surely past the age where you belie&e in campfire
stories about ghoulies and ghosties and long*leggedy beasties(
.ut of cou$se " could say no such thing! (hat was going on in 'y house was no ca'pfi$e sto$y! "
#new it, and she #new " did!
'.$enda, if "'ve caused you any t$ou%le, "'' t$uly so$$y!'
'5o away, $! Noonan ! ! ! i#e! 5o %ac# to 2e$$y and stay fo$ awhile! "t's the %est thing you
could do!'
" hea$d the lette$s sliding on the f$idge and tu$ned! This ti'e " actually saw the ci$cle of f$uits and
vegeta%les fo$'! "t stayed open at the top long enough fo$ fou$ lette$s to slide inside! Then a little
plastic le'on plugged the hole and co'pleted the ci$cle!
yats,
the lette$s said, then swapped the'selves a$ound, 'a#ing
stay
Then %oth the ci$cle and the lette$s %$o#e up!
'i#e, please!' $s! ! was c$ying! 'Royce's fune$al is to'o$$ow! Eve$yone in the TR who
'atte$s + the old*ti'e$s + will %e the$e!'
,es, of cou$se they would! The old ones, the %ags of %ones who #new what they #new and #ept
it to the'selves! Except so'e of the' had tal#ed to 'y wife! Royce hi'self had tal#ed to he$! Now
he was dead! So was she!
'"t would %e %est if you we$e gone! ,ou could ta#e that young wo'an with you, 'ay%e! He$ and
he$ little gi$l!'
.ut could "B " so'ehow didn't thin# so! " thought the th$ee of us we$e on the TR until this was
ove$ ! ! ! and " was sta$ting to have an idea of when that would %e! A sto$' was co'ing! A su''e$
sto$'! ay%e even a to$nado!
'.$enda, than#s fo$ calling 'e! And "'' not letting you go! 8et's &ust call it a leave of a%sence,
shall weB'
'9ine ! ! ! whateve$ you want! (ill you at least thin# a%out what " saidB'
',es! "n the 'eanti'e, " don't thin# "'d tell anyone you called 'e, all $ightB'
'NoC' she said, sounding shoc#ed! ThenD '.ut they'll #now! .ill and ,vette ! ! ! 2ic#ie .$oo#s at
the ga$age ! ! ! old Anthony (eyland and .uddy 6ellison and all the othe$s ! ! ! they'll #now!
5ood%ye, $! Noonan! "'' so so$$y! 9o$ you and you$ wife! ,ou$ poo$ wife! "'' so so$$y!' Then she
was gone!
" held the phone in 'y hand fo$ a long ti'e! Then, li#e a 'an in a d$ea', " put it down, c$ossed
the $oo', and too# the eyeless cloc# off the wall! " th$ew it in the t$ash and went down to the la#e
fo$ a swi', $e'e'%e$ing that (! E Ha$vey sto$y 'August Heat,' the one that ends with the line 'The
heat is enough to d$ive a 'an 'ad!'
"'' not a %ad swi''e$ when people a$en't pelting 'e with $oc#s, %ut 'y fi$st sho$e*to*float*to*
sho$e lap was tentative and un$hyth'ic + ugly + %ecause " #ept expecting so'ething to $each up
f$o' the %otto' and g$a% 'e! The d$owned %oy, 'ay%e! The second lap was %ette$, and %y the
thi$d " was $elishing the inc$eased #ic# of 'y hea$t and the sil#y coolness of the wate$ $ushing past
'e! Halfway th$ough the fou$th lap " pulled 'yself up the float's ladde$ and collapsed on the
%oa$ds, feeling %ette$ than " had since 'y encounte$ with 2evo$e and Rogette (hit'o$e on 9$iday
night! " was still in the =one, and on top of that " was expe$iencing a glo$ious endo$phin $ush! "n
that state, even the dis'ay "'d felt when $s ! told 'e she was $esigning he$ position e%%ed away!
She would co'e %ac# when this was ove$7 of cou$se she would! "n the 'eanti'e, it was p$o%a%ly
%est she stay away!
Something's mad at me( 1 could ha&e an accident(
,es indeed! She 'ight cut he$self! She 'ight fall down a flight of cella$ stai$s! She 'ight even
have a st$o#e $unning ac$oss a hot pa$#ing lot!
" sat up and loo#ed at Sa$a on he$ hill, the dec# &utting out ove$ the d$op, the $ail$oad ties
descending! "'d only %een out of the wate$ fo$ a few 'inutes, %ut al$eady the day's stic#y heat was
folding ove$ 'e, stealing 'y $ush! The wate$ was still as a 'i$$o$! " could see the house $eflected in
it, and in the $eflection Sa$a's windows %eca'e watchful eyes!
" thought that the focus of all the pheno'ena + the epicente$ + was ve$y li#ely on The St$eet
%etween the $eal Sa$a and its d$owned i'age! "his is where it happened, 2evo$e had said! And the
old*ti'e$sB ost of the' p$o%a%ly #new what " #newD that Royce e$$ill had %een 'u$de$ed! And
wasn't it possi%le + wasn't it likely + that what had #illed hi' 'ight co'e a'ong the' as they sat
in thei$ pews o$ gathe$ed afte$wa$d a$ound his g$aveB That it 'ight steal so'e of thei$ fo$ce +
thei$ guilt, thei$ 'e'o$ies, thei$ TR*ness + to help it finish the &o%B
" was ve$y glad that 6ohn was going to %e at the t$aile$ to'o$$ow, and Ro'eo .issonette, and
5eo$ge 1ennedy, who was so a'using when he got a d$in# o$ two in hi'! 5lad it was going to %e
'o$e than &ust 'e with attie and 1i when the old fol#s got togethe$ to give Royce e$$ill his
sendoff! " no longe$ ca$ed ve$y 'uch a%out what had happened to Sa$a and the Red*Tops, o$ even
a%out what was haunting 'y house! (hat " wanted was to get th$ough to'o$$ow, and fo$ attie
and 1i to get th$ough to'o$$ow! (e'd eat %efo$e the $ain sta$ted and then let the p$edicted
thunde$sto$'s co'e! " thought that, if we could $ide the' out, ou$ lives and futu$es 'ight cla$ify
with the weathe$!
'"s that $ightB' " as#ed! " expected no answe$ + tal#ing out loud was a ha%it " had pic#ed up since
$etu$ning he$e + %ut so'ewhe$e in the woods east of the house, an owl hooted! 6ust once, as if to
say it was $ight, get th$ough to'o$$ow and things will cla$ify! The hoot al'ost %$ought so'ething
else to 'ind, so'e association that was ulti'ately too gau=y to g$asp! " t$ied once o$ twice, %ut the
only thing " could co'e up with was the title of a wonde$ful old novel 1 .eard the 2wl all #y
Name!
" $olled fo$wa$d off the float and into the wate$, g$asping 'y #nees against 'y chest li#e a #id
doing a cannon%all! " stayed unde$ as long as " could, until the ai$ in 'y lungs sta$ted to feel li#e
so'e hot %ottled li)uid, and then " %$o#e the su$face! " t$od wate$ a%out thi$ty ya$ds out until " had
'y %$eath %ac#, then set 'y sights on the 5$een 8ady and st$o#ed fo$ sho$e!
" waded out, sta$ted up the $ail$oad ties, then stopped and went %ac# to The St$eet! " stood the$e
fo$ a 'o'ent, gathe$ing 'y cou$age, then wal#ed to whe$e the %i$ch cu$ved he$ g$aceful %elly out
ove$ the wate$! " g$asped that white cu$ve as " had on 9$iday evening and loo#ed into the wate$! "
was su$e "'d see the child, his dead eyes loo#ing up at 'e f$o' his %loating %$own face, and that 'y
'outh and th$oat would once 'o$e fill with the taste of the la#eD help 1'm drown' lemme up' oh
sweet 0esus lemme up! .ut the$e was nothing! No dead %oy, no $i%%on*w$apped Boston 6ost cane,
no taste of the la#e in 'y 'outh!
" tu$ned and pee$ed at the g$ay fo$ehead of $oc# po#ing out of the 'ulch! " thought "here' right
there, %ut it was only a conscious and unspontaneous thought, the 'ind voicing a 'e'o$y! The
s'ell of decay and the ce$tainty that so'ething awful had happened $ight the$e was gone!
(hen " got %ac# up to the house and went fo$ a soda, " discove$ed the f$ont of the $ef$ige$ato$
was %a$e and clean! Eve$y 'agnetic lette$, eve$y f$uit and vegeta%le, was gone! " neve$ found the'!
" 'ight have, p$o%a%ly would have, if the$e had %een 'o$e ti'e, %ut on that onday 'o$ning ti'e
was al'ost up!
" d$essed, then called attie! (e tal#ed a%out the upco'ing pa$ty, a%out how excited 1i was, a%out
how ne$vous attie was a%out going %ac# to wo$# on 9$iday + she was af$aid that the locals
would %e 'ean to he$, %ut in an odd, wo'anly way she was even 'o$e af$aid that they would %e
cold to he$, snu% he$! (e tal#ed a%out the 'oney, and " )uic#ly asce$tained that she didn't %elieve
in the $eality of it! '8ance used to say his fathe$ was the #ind of 'an who'd show a piece of 'eat to
a sta$ving dog and then eat it hi'self,' she said! '.ut as long as " have 'y &o% %ac#, " won't sta$ve
and neithe$ will 1i!'
'.ut if the$e $eally are %ig %uc#s ! ! ! B'
'Oh, gi''e*gi''e*gi''e,' she said, laughing! '(hat do you thin# " a', c$a=yB'
'Nah! .y the way, what's going on with 1i's f$idgeafato$ peopleB A$e they w$iting any new
stuffB'
'That is the wei$dest thing,' she said! 'They'$e gone!'
'The f$idgeafato$ peopleB'
'" don't #now a%out the', %ut the 'agnetic lette$s you gave he$ su$e a$e! (hen " as#ed 1i what
she did with the', she sta$ted c$ying and said Alla'agoosalu' too# the'! She said he ate the' in
the 'iddle of the night, while eve$yone was sleeping, fo$ a snac#!'
'Alla'a*who*salu'B'
'Alla'agoosalu',' attie said, sounding wea$ily a'used! 'Anothe$ little legacy f$o' he$
g$andfathe$! "t's a co$$uption of the ic'ac wo$d fo$ K%oogey'anK o$ Kde'onK + " loo#ed it up at
the li%$a$y! 1y$a had a good 'any night'a$es a%out de'ons and wendigos and the alla'a*
goosalu' late last winte$ and this sp$ing!'
'(hat a sweet old g$andpa he was,' " said senti'entally!
'Right, a $eal pip! She was 'ise$a%le ove$ losing the lette$s7 " %a$ely got he$ cal'ed down %efo$e
he$ $ide to 4.S ca'e! 1i wants to #now if you'll co'e to 9inal Exe$cises on 9$iday afte$noon, %y
the way! She and he$ f$iend .illy Tu$geon a$e going to flannel%oa$d the sto$y of %a%y oses!'
'" wouldn't 'iss it,' " said ! ! ! %ut of cou$se " did! (e all did!
'Any idea whe$e he$ lette$s 'ight have gone, i#eB'
'No!'
',ou$s a$e still o#ayB'
'ine a$e fine, %ut of cou$se 'ine don't spell anything,' " said, loo#ing at the e'pty doo$ of 'y
own f$idgeafato$! The$e was sweat on 'y fo$ehead! " could feel it c$eeping down into 'y eye%$ows
li#e oil! '2id you ! ! ! " don't #now ! ! ! sense anythingB'
',ou 'ean did " 'ay%e hea$ the evil alpha%et*thief as he slid th$ough the windowB'
',ou #now what " 'ean!'
'" suppose so!' A pause '" thought " hea$d so'ething in the night, o#ayB A%out th$ee this 'o$ning,
actually! " got up and went into the hall! Nothing was the$e! .ut ! ! ! you #now how hot it's %een
latelyB'
',es!'
'(ell, not in 'y t$aile$, not last night! "t was cold as ice! " swea$ " could al'ost see 'y %$eath!'
" %elieved he$! Afte$ all, " had seen 'ine!
'(e$e the lette$s on the f$ont of the f$idge thenB'
'" don't #now! " didn't go up the hall fa$ enough to see into the #itchen! " too# one loo# a$ound
and then went %ac# to %ed! " al'ost ran %ac# to %ed! So'eti'es %ed feels safe$, you #nowB' She
laughed ne$vously! '"t's a #id thing! 3ove$s a$e %oogey'an #$yptonite! Only at fi$st, when " got in ! !
! " don't #now ! ! ! " thought so'eone was in the$e al$eady! 8i#e so'eone had %een hiding on the
floo$ unde$neath and then ! ! ! when " went to chec# the hall ! ! ! they got in! Not a nice so'eone,
eithe$!'
-i&e me my dust*catcher, " thought, and shudde$ed!
'(hatB' attie as#ed sha$ply! '(hat did you sayB'
'" as#ed who did you thin# it wasB (hat was the fi$st na'e that ca'e into you$ 'indB'
'2evo$e,' she said! '.im! .ut the$e was no one the$e!' A pause! '" wish you'd %een the$e!'
'" do, too!'
'"'' glad! i#e, do you have any ideas at all a%out thisB .ecause it's ve$y f$ea#y!'
'" thin# 'ay%e ! ! ! ' 9o$ a 'o'ent " was on the ve$ge of telling he$ what had happened to 'y
own lette$s! .ut if " sta$ted tal#ing, whe$e would it stopB And how 'uch could she %e expected to
%elieveB ' ! ! ! 'ay%e 1i too# the lette$s he$self! (ent wal#ing in he$ sleep and chuc#ed the' unde$
the t$aile$ o$ so'ething! 2o you thin# that could %eB'
'" thin# " li#e the idea of 1y$a st$olling a$ound in he$ sleep even less than the idea of ghosts with
cold %$eath ta#ing the lette$s off the f$idge,' attie said!
'Ta#e he$ to %ed with you tonight,' " said, and felt he$ thought co'e %ac# li#e an a$$owD 1'd
rather take you!
(hat she said, afte$ a %$ief pause, wasD '(ill you co'e %y todayB'
'" don't thin# so,' " said! She was noshing on flavo$ed yogu$t as we tal#ed, eating it in little
nipping %ites! ',ou'll see 'e to'o$$ow, though! At the pa$ty!'
'" hope we get to eat %efo$e the thunde$sto$'s! They'$e supposed to %e %ad!'
'"'' su$e we will!'
'And a$e you still thin#ingB " only as# %ecause " d$ea'ed of you when " finally fell asleep again!
" d$ea'ed of you #issing 'e!'
'"'' still thin#ing,' " said! 'Thin#ing ha$d!'
.ut in fact " don't $e'e'%e$ thin#ing a%out anything ve$y ha$d that day! (hat " $e'e'%e$ is
d$ifting fu$the$ and fu$the$ into that =one "'ve explained so %adly! Nea$ dus# " went fo$ a long wal#
in spite of the heat + all the way out to whe$e 8ane 9o$ty*two &oins the highway! 3o'ing %ac# "
stopped on the edge of Tidwell's eadow, watching the light fade out of the s#y and listening to
thunde$ $u'%le so'ewhe$e ove$ New Ha'pshi$e! Once 'o$e the$e was that sense of how thin
$eality was, not &ust he$e %ut eve$ywhe$e7 how it was st$etched li#e s#in ove$ the %lood and tissue of
a %ody we can neve$ #now clea$ly in this life! " loo#ed at t$ees and saw a$'s7 " loo#ed at %ushes
and saw faces! 5hosts, attie had said! 5hosts with cold %$eath!
Ti'e was also thin, it see'ed to 'e! 1y$a and " had $eally %een at the 9$ye%u$g 9ai$ + so'e
ve$sion of it, anyway7 we had $eally visited the yea$ :;AA! And at the foot of the 'eadow the Red*
Tops we$e al'ost the$e now, as they once had %een, in thei$ neat little ca%ins! " could al'ost hea$
the sound of thei$ guita$s, the 'u$'u$ of thei$ voices and laughte$7 " could al'ost see the glea' of
thei$ lante$ns and s'ell thei$ %eef and po$# f$ying! 'Say baby' do you remember me?' one of he$
songs went, 'Well 1 ain't your honey like 1 used to be('
So'ething $attled in the unde$%$ush to 'y left! " tu$ned that way, expecting to see Sa$a step out
of the woods wea$ing attie's d$ess and attie's white snea#e$s! "n this gloo', they would see'
al'ost to float %y the'selves, until she got close to 'e ! ! !
The$e was no one the$e, of cou$se, it had undou%tedly %een nothing %ut 3huc# the (oodchuc#
headed ho'e afte$ a ha$d day at the office, %ut " no longe$ wanted to %e out he$e, watching as the
light d$ained out of the day and the 'ist ca'e up f$o' the g$ound! " tu$ned fo$ ho'e!
"nstead of going into the house when " got %ac#, " 'ade 'y way along the path to 6o's studio,
whe$e " hadn't %een since the night " had ta#en 'y ". %ac# in a d$ea'! y way was lit %y
inte$'ittent flashes of heat lightning!
The studio was hot %ut not stale! " could s'ell a peppe$y a$o'a that was actually pleasant, and
wonde$ed if it 'ight %e so'e of 6o's he$%s! The$e was an ai$ conditione$ out he$e, and it wo$#ed +
" tu$ned it on and then &ust stood in f$ont of it a little while! So 'uch cold ai$ on 'y ove$heated
%ody was p$o%a%ly unhealthy, %ut it felt wonde$ful!
" didn't feel ve$y wonde$ful othe$wise, howeve$! " loo#ed a$ound with a g$owing sense of
so'ething too heavy to %e 'e$e sadness7 it felt li#e despai$! " thin# it was caused %y the cont$ast
%etween how little of 6o was left in Sa$a 8aughs and how 'uch of he$ was still out he$e! " i'agined
ou$ 'a$$iage as a #ind of playhouse + and isn't that what 'a$$iage is, in la$ge pa$tB playing houseB
+ whe$e only half the stuff was held down! Held down %y little 'agnets o$ hidden ca%les!
So'ething had co'e along and pic#ed up ou$ playhouse %y one co$ne$ + easiest thing in the
wo$ld, and " supposed " should %e g$ateful that the so'ething hadn't decided to d$aw %ac# its foot
and #ic# the poo$ thing all the way ove$! "t &ust pic#ed up that one co$ne$, you see! y stuff stayed
put, %ut all of 6o's had slid ! ! !
Out of the house and down he$e!
'6oB' " as#ed, and sat down in he$ chai$! The$e was no answe$! No thu'ps on the wall! No c$ows
o$ owls calling f$o' the woods! " put 'y hand on he$ des#, whe$e the typew$ite$ had %een, and
slipped 'y hand ac$oss it, pic#ing up a fil' of dust!
'" 'iss you, honey,' " said, and %egan to c$y!
(hen the tea$s we$e ove$ + again + " wiped 'y face with the tail of 'y tee*shi$t li#e a little
#id, then &ust loo#ed a$ound! The$e was the pictu$e of Sa$a Tidwell on he$ des# and a photo " didn't
$e'e'%e$ on the wall + this latte$ was old, sepia*tinted, and woodsy! "ts focal point was a 'an*
high %i$chwood c$oss in a little clea$ing on a slope a%ove the la#e! That clea$ing was gone f$o' the
geog$aphy now, 'ost li#ely, long since filled in %y t$ees!
" loo#ed at he$ &a$s of he$%s and 'ush$oo' sections, he$ filing ca%inets, he$ sections of afghan!
The g$een $ag $ug on the floo$! The pot of pencils on the des#, pencils she had touched and used! "
held one of the' poised ove$ a %lan# sheet of pape$ fo$ a 'o'ent o$ two, %ut nothing happened! "
had a sense of life in this $oo', and a sense of %eing watched ! ! ! %ut not a sense of %eing helped!
'" #now so'e of it %ut not enough,' " said! 'Of all the things " don't #now, 'ay%e the one that
'atte$s 'ost is who w$ote Khelp he$K on the f$idge! (as it you, 6oB'
No answe$! " sat awhile longe$ + hoping against hope, " suppose + then got up, tu$ned off the
ai$ conditioning, tu$ned off the lights, and went %ac# to the house, wal#ing in soft %$ight stutte$s of
unfocused lightning! " sat on the dec# fo$ a little while, watching the night! At so'e point " $eali=ed
"'d ta#en the length of %lue sil# $i%%on out of 'y poc#et and was winding it ne$vously %ac# and
fo$th %etween 'y finge$s, 'a#ing half*assed cat's c$adles! Had it $eally co'e f$o' the yea$ :;AAB
The idea see'ed pe$fectly c$a=y and pe$fectly sane at the sa'e ti'e! The night hung hot and
hushed! " i'agined old fol#s all ove$ the TR + pe$haps in otton and Ha$low, too + laying out
thei$ fune$al clothes fo$ to'o$$ow! "n the dou%lewide t$aile$ on (asp Hill Road, 1i was sitting on
the floo$, watching a videotape of "he 0ungle Book + .aloo and owgli we$e singing 'The .a$e
Necessities!' attie was on the couch with he$ feet up, $eading the new a$y Higgins 3la$# and
singing along! .oth we$e wea$ing sho$ty pa&a'as, 1i's pin#, attie's white!
Afte$ a little while " lost 'y sense of the'7 it faded the way $adio signals so'eti'es do late at
night! " went into the no$th %ed$oo', und$essed, and c$awled onto the top sheet of 'y un'ade %ed!
" fell asleep al'ost at once!
" wo#e in the 'iddle of the night with so'eone $unning a hot finge$ up and down the 'iddle of
'y %ac#! " $olled ove$ and when the lightning flashed, " saw the$e was a wo'an in %ed with 'e! "t
was Sa$a Tidwell! She was g$inning! The$e we$e no pupils in he$ eyes! 'Oh suga$, "'' al'ost %ac#,'
she whispe$ed in the da$#! " had a sense of he$ $eaching out fo$ 'e again, %ut when the next flash of
lightning ca'e, that side of the %ed was e'pty!
3HA0TER T(ENT,*9OUR
"nspi$ation isn't always a 'atte$ of ghosts 'oving 'agnets a$ound on $ef$ige$ato$ doo$s, and on
Tuesday 'o$ning " had a flash that was a %eaut! "t ca'e while " was shaving and thin#ing a%out
nothing 'o$e than $e'e'%e$ing the %ee$ fo$ the pa$ty! And li#e the %est inspi$ations, it ca'e out of
nowhe$e at all!
" hu$$ied into the living $oo', not )uite $unning, wiping the shaving c$ea' off 'y face with a
towel as " went! " glanced %$iefly at the "ough Stuff c$osswo$d collection lying on top of 'y
'anusc$ipt! That had %een whe$e "'d gone fi$st in an effo$t to deciphe$ 'go down nineteen' and 'go
down ninety*two!' Not an un$easona%le sta$ting*point, %ut what did "ough Stuff have to do with
TR*;AB " had pu$chased the %oo# at $! 0ape$%ac# in 2e$$y, and of the thi$ty o$ so pu==les "'d
co'pleted, "'d done all %ut half a do=en in 2e$$y! TR ghosts could ha$dly %e expected to show an
inte$est in 'y 2e$$y c$osswo$d collection! The telephone %oo#, on the othe$ hand +
" snatched it off the dining*$oo' ta%le! Although it cove$ed the whole southe$n pa$t of 3astle
3ounty + otton, Ha$low, and 1ashwa#a'a# as well as the TR + it was p$etty thin! The fi$st
thing " did was chec# the white pages to see if the$e were at least ninety*two! The$e we$e! The ,'s
and M's finished up on page ninety*seven!
This was the answe$! Had to %e!
'" got it, didn't "B' " as#ed .unte$! 'This is it!'
Nothing! Not even a tin#le f$o' the %ell!
'9uc# you + what does a stuffed 'oosehead #now a%out a telephone %oo#B'
5o down nineteen! " tu$ned to page nineteen of the telephone %oo#, whe$e the lette$ / was
p$o'inently showcased! " %egan to slip 'y finge$ down the fi$st colu'n and as it went, 'y
excite'ent faded! The nineteenth na'e on page nineteen was Ha$old 9ailles! "t 'eant nothing to
'e! The$e we$e also 9eltons and 9enne$s, a 9il#e$sha' and seve$al 9inneys, half a do=en 9lahe$tys
and 'o$e 9osses than you could sha#e a stic# at! The last na'e on page nineteen was 9$a'ingha'!
"t also 'eant nothing to 'e, %ut +
9$a'ingha', 1enneth 0!
" sta$ed at that fo$ a 'o'ent! A $eali=ation %egan to dawn! "t had nothing to do with the
$ef$ige$ato$ 'essages!
,ou're not seeing what you think you're seeing' " thought! "his is like when you buy a blue Buick
3
',ou see %lue .uic#s eve$ywhe$e,' " said! '0$actically got to #ic# e' out of you$ way! ,eah, that's
it!' .ut 'y hands we$e sha#ing as " tu$ned to page ninety*two!
He$e we$e the "'s of southe$n 3astle 3ounty, along with a few ;'s li#e Alton U%ec# and
3athe$ine Udell &ust to $ound things out! " didn't %othe$ chec#ing the ninety*second ent$y on the
page7 the phone %oo# wasn't the #ey to the 'agnetic c$osspatches afte$ all! "t did, howeve$, suggest
so'ething eno$'ous! " closed the %oo#, &ust held it in 'y hands fo$ a 'o'ent -happy fol#s with
%lue%e$$y $a#es on the f$ont cove$/, then opened it at $ando', this ti'e to the #'s! And once you
#new what you we$e loo#ing fo$, it &u'ped $ight out at you!
All those @'s!
Oh, the$e we$e Stevens and 6ohns and a$thas7 the$e was ese$ve, 5!, and essie$, 4!, and
6ayhouse, T! And yet, again and again, " saw the initial @ whe$e people had exe$cised thei$ $ight not
to list thei$ fi$st na'e in the %oo#! The$e we$e at least twenty @*initials on page fifty alone, and
anothe$ do=en 3*initials! As fo$ the actual na'es the'selves ! ! !
The$e we$e twelve 1enneths on this $ando' page in the #*section, including th$ee 1enneth
oo$es and two 1enneth unte$s! The$e we$e fou$ 3athe$ines and two 1athe$ines! The$e we$e a
3asey, a 1iana, and a 1iefe$!
'Holy 3h$ist, it's li#e fallout,' " whispe$ed!
" thu'%ed th$ough the %oo#, not a%le to %elieve what " was seeing and seeing it anyway!
1enneths, 1athe$ines, and 1eiths we$e eve$ywhe$e! " also saw 1i'%e$ly, 1i', and 1y'! The$e
we$e 3a''ie, 1ia -yes, and we had thought ou$selves so o$iginal/, 1iah, 1end$a, 1aela, 1eil, and
1yle! 1i$%y and 1i$#! The$e was a wo'an na'ed 1issy .owden, and a 'an na'ed 1ito Rennie +
1ito, the sa'e na'e as one of 1y$a's f$idgeafato$ people! And eve$ywhe$e, outnu'%e$ing such
usually co''on initials as S and " and 4, we$e those @'s! y eyes danced with the'!
" tu$ned to loo# at the cloc# + didn't want to stand 6ohn Sto$$ow up at the ai$po$t, 3h$ist no +
and the$e was no cloc# the$e! Of cou$se not! Old 1$a=y 1at had popped his peepe$s du$ing a
psychic event! " gave a loud, %$aying laugh that sca$ed 'e a little + it wasn't pa$ticula$ly sane!
'5et hold of you$self, i#e,' " said! 'Ta#e a deep %$eath, son!'
" too# the %$eath! Held it! 8et it out! 3hec#ed the digital $eadout on the 'ic$owave! Nua$te$ past
eight! 0lenty of ti'e fo$ 6ohn! " tu$ned %ac# to the telephone %oo# and %egan to $iffle $apidly
th$ough it! "'d had a second inspi$ation + not a 'egawatt %last li#e the fi$st one, %ut a lot 'o$e
accu$ate, it tu$ned out!
(este$n aine is a $elatively isolated a$ea + it's a little li#e the hill count$y of the %o$de$ South
+ %ut the$e has always %een at least so'e inflow of fol#s f$o' away -'flatlande$s' is the te$' the
locals use when they a$e feeling conte'ptuous/, and in the last )ua$te$ of the centu$y it has %eco'e
a popula$ a$ea fo$ active senio$s who want to fish and s#i thei$ way th$ough $eti$e'ent! The phone
%oo# goes a long way towa$d sepa$ating the new%ies f$o' the long*ti'e $esidents! .a%ic#is,
0a$ettis, O'Nuindlans, 2onahues, S'olnac#s, 2vo$a#s, .linde$'eye$s + all f$o' away! All
flatlande$s! 6al%e$ts, ese$ves, 0ills%u$ys, Sp$uces, The$$iaults, 0e$$aults, Stanchfields, Sta$%i$ds,
2u%ays + all f$o' 3astle 3ounty! ,ou see what "'' saying, don't youB (hen you see a whole
colu'n of .owies on page twelve, you #now that those fol#s have %een a$ound long enough to
$elax and $eally sp$ead those .owie genes!
The$e we$e a few @*initials and @*na'es a'ong the 0a$ettis and the S'olnac#s, %ut only a few!
The heavy concent$ations we$e all attached to fa'ilies that had %een he$e long enough to a%so$% the
at'osphe$e! To %$eathe the fallout! Except it wasn't $adiation, exactly, it +
" suddenly i'agined a %lac# headstone talle$ than the tallest t$ee on the la#e, a 'onolith which
cast its shadow ove$ half of 3astle 3ounty! This pictu$e was so clea$ and so te$$i%le that " cove$ed
'y eyes, d$opping the phone %oo# on the ta%le! " %ac#ed away f$o' it, shudde$ing! Hiding 'y eyes
actually see'ed to enhance the i'age fu$the$D a g$ave*'a$#e$ so eno$'ous it %lotted out the sun7
TR*;A lay at its foot li#e a fune$al %ou)uet! Sa$a Tidwell's son had d$owned in 2a$# Sco$e 8a#e ! ! !
o$ been d$owned in it! .ut she had 'a$#ed his passing! e'o$iali=ed it! " wonde$ed if anyone else
in town had eve$ noticed what " &ust had! " didn't suppose it was all that li#ely7 when you open a
telephone %oo# you'$e loo#ing fo$ a specific na'e in 'ost cases, not $eading whole pages line %y
line! " wonde$ed if 0o had noticed + if she'd #nown that al'ost eve$y longti'e fa'ily in this pa$t
of the wo$ld had, in one way o$ anothe$, na'ed at least one child afte$ Sa$a Tidwell's dead son!
6o wasn't stupid! " thought she p$o%a%ly had!
" $etu$ned to the %ath$oo', $elathe$ed, sta$ted again f$o' sc$atch! (hen " finished, " went %ac# to
the phone and pic#ed it up! " po#ed in th$ee nu'%e$s, then stopped, loo#ing out at the la#e! attie
and 1i we$e up and in the #itchen, %oth of the' wea$ing ap$ons, %oth of the' in a fine f$oth of
excite'ent! The$e was going to %e a pa$tyC They would wea$ p$etty new su''e$ clothes, and the$e
would %e 'usic f$o' attie's %oo'%ox 32 playe$C 1i was helping attie 'a#e %iscuits fo$
st$ew%e$$y sno$tca#e, and while the %iscuits we$e %a#ing they would 'a#e salads! "f " called attie
up and said 6ack a couple of bags' you and @i are going to spend a week at Disney World, attie
would assu'e " was &o#ing, then tell 'e to hu$$y up and finish getting d$essed so "'d %e at the
ai$po$t when 6ohn's plane landed! "f " p$essed, she'd $e'ind 'e that 8indy had offe$ed he$ he$ old
&o% %ac#, %ut the offe$ would close in a hu$$y if attie didn't show up p$o'ptly at two 0!! on
9$iday! "f " continued to p$ess, she would &ust say no!
.ecause " wasn't the only one in the =one, was "B " wasn't the only one who was $eally feeling it!
" $etu$ned the phone to its $echa$ging c$adle, then went %ac# into the no$th %ed$oo'! .y the ti'e
"'d finished d$essing, 'y f$esh shi$t was al$eady feeling wilted unde$ the a$'s7 it was as hot that
'o$ning as it had %een fo$ the last wee#, 'ay%e even hotte$! .ut "'d %e in plenty of ti'e to 'eet the
plane! " had neve$ felt less li#e pa$tying, %ut "'d %e the$e! i#ey on the spot, that was 'e! i#ey on
the godda' spot!
6ohn hadn't given 'e his flight nu'%e$, %ut at 3astle 3ounty Ai$po$t, such niceties a$e ha$dly
necessa$y! This %ustling hu% of t$anspo$t consists of th$ee hanga$s and a te$'inal which used to %e
a 9lying A gas station + when the light's st$ong on the little %uilding's $usty no$th side, you can
still see the shape of that winged A! The$e's one $unway! Secu$ity is p$ovided %y 8assie, .$ec#
0elle$in's ancient collie, who spends he$ days c$ashed out on the linoleu' floo$, coc#ing an ea$ at
the ceiling wheneve$ a plane lands o$ ta#es off!
" popped 'y head into 0elle$in's office and as#ed hi' if the ten f$o' .oston was on ti'e! He
said it 'twas, although he hoped the paa'ty " was 'eetin planned to eithe$ fly %ac# out %efo$e 'id*
afte$noon o$ stay the night! .ad weathe$ was co'in in, good go$$y, yes! (hat .$ec# 0elle$in
$efe$$ed to as 'lectrical weathe$! " #new exactly what he 'eant, %ecause in 'y ne$vous syste' that
elect$icity al$eady see'ed to have a$$ived!
" went out to the $unway side of the te$'inal and sat on a %ench adve$tising 3o$'ie$'s a$#et
-98, "NTO OUR 2E8" 9OR THE .EST EATS "N A"NE/! The sun was a silve$ %utton stuc# on the
easte$n slope of a hot white s#y! Headache weathe$, 'y 'othe$ would have called it, %ut the
weathe$ was due to change! " would hold onto the hope of that change as %est " could!
At ten past ten " hea$d a wasp*whine f$o' the south! At )ua$te$ past, so'e so$t of twin*engine
plane d$opped out of the 'u$#, flopped onto the $unway, and taxied towa$d the te$'inal! The$e
we$e only fou$ passenge$s, and 6ohn Sto$$ow was the fi$st one off! " g$inned when " saw hi'! " had
to g$in! He was wea$ing a %lac# tee*shi$t with (E ARE THE 3HA0"ONS p$inted ac$oss the f$ont and
a pai$ of #ha#i sho$ts which displayed a pe$fect set of city shinsD white and %ony! He was t$ying to
'anage %oth a Sty$ofoa' coole$ and a %$iefcase! " g$a%%ed the coole$ 'ay%e fou$ seconds %efo$e
he d$opped it, and tuc#ed it unde$ 'y a$'!
'i#eC' he c$ied, lifting one hand pal' out!
'6ohnC' " $etu$ned in 'uch the sa'e spi$it -e&oe is the wo$d that co'es i''ediately to the
c$osswo$d aficionado's 'ind/, and slapped hi' five! His ho'ely*handso'e face split in a g$in, and
" felt a little sta% of guilt! attie had exp$essed no p$efe$ence fo$ 6ohn + )uite the opposite, in fact
+ and he $eally hadn't solved any of he$ p$o%le's7 2evo$e had done that %y topping hi'self %efo$e
6ohn had so 'uch as a chance to get sta$ted on he$ %ehalf! ,et still " felt that nasty little po#e!
'3o'e on,' he said! '8et's get out of this heat! ,ou have ai$ conditioning in you$ ca$, " p$esu'eB'
'A%solutely!'
'(hat a%out a cassette playe$B ,ou got one of thoseB "f you do, "'ll play you so'ething that'll
'a#e you cho$tle!'
'" don't thin# "'ve eve$ hea$d that wo$d actually used in conve$sation, 6ohn!'
The g$in shone out again, and " noticed what a lot of f$ec#les he had! She$iff Andy's %oy Opie
g$ows up to se$ve at the %a$! '"'' a lawye$! " use wo$ds in conve$sation that haven't even %een
invented yet! ,ou have a tape*playe$B'
'Of cou$se " do!' " hefted the coole$! 'Stea#sB'
',ou %et! 0ete$ 8uge$'s! They'$e + '
' + the %est in the wo$ld! ,ou told 'e!'
As we went into the te$'inal, so'eone said, 'ichaelB'
"t was Ro'eo .issonette, the lawye$ who had chape$oned 'e th$ough 'y deposition! "n one
hand he had a %ox w$apped in %lue pape$ and tied with a white $i%%on! .eside hi', &ust $ising f$o'
one of the lu'py chai$s, was a tall guy with a f$inge of g$ay hai$! He was wea$ing a %$own suit, a
%lue shi$t, and a st$ing tie with a golf*clu% on the clasp! He loo#ed 'o$e li#e a fa$'e$ on auction
day than the so$t of guy who'd %e a sc$ea' when you got a d$in# o$ two into hi', %ut " had no
dou%t this was the p$ivate detective! He stepped ove$ the co'atose collie and shoo# hands with 'e!
'5eo$ge 1ennedy, $! Noonan! "'' pleased to 'eet you! y wife has $ead eve$y single %oo# you
eve$ w$ote!'
'(ell than# he$ fo$ 'e!'
'" will! " have one in the ca$ + a ha$dcove$ ! ! ! ' He loo#ed shy, as so 'any people do when they
get $ight to the point of as#ing! '" wonde$ if you'd sign it fo$ he$ at so'e point!'
'"'d %e delighted to,' " said! 'Right away's %est, then " won't fo$get!' " tu$ned to Ro'eo! '5ood to
see you, Ro'eo!'
'a#e it Ro''ie,' he said! '5ood to see you, too!' He held out the %ox! '5eo$ge and " clu%%ed
togethe$ on this! (e thought you dese$ved so'ething nice fo$ helping a da'sel in dist$ess!'
1ennedy now did loo# li#e a 'an who 'ight %e fun afte$ a few d$in#s! The #ind who 'ight &ust
ta#e a notion to hop onto the nea$est ta%le, tu$n a ta%lecloth into a #ilt, and dance! " loo#ed at 6ohn,
who gave the #ind of sh$ug that 'eans hey, don't as# me!
" pulled off the satin %ow, slipped 'y finge$ unde$ the Scotch tape holding the pape$, then loo#ed
up! " caught Ro''ie .issonette in the act of el%owing 1ennedy! Now they we$e %oth g$inning!
'The$e's nothing in he$e that's going to &u'p out at 'e and go %ooga*%ooga, is the$e, guysB' "
as#ed!
'A%solutely not,' Ro''ie said, %ut his g$in widened!
(ell, " can %e as good a spo$t as the next guy! " guess! " unw$apped the pac#age, opened the
plain white %ox inside, $evealed a s)ua$e pad of cotton, lifted it out! " had %een s'iling all th$ough
this, %ut now " felt the s'ile cu$l up and die on 'y 'outh! So'ething went twisting up 'y spine as
well, and " thin# " ca'e ve$y close to d$opping the %ox!
"t was the oxygen 'as# 2evo$e had had on his lap when he 'et 'e on The St$eet, the one he'd
sno$ted f$o' occasionally as he and Rogette paced 'e, t$ying to #eep 'e out deep enough to
d$own! Ro''ie .issonette and 5eo$ge 1ennedy had %$ought it to 'e li#e the scalp of a dead
ene'y and " was supposed to thin# it was funny +
'i#eB' Ro''ie as#ed anxiously! 'i#e, a$e you o#ayB "t was &ust a &o#e + '
" %lin#ed and saw it wasn't an oxygen 'as# at all + how in 5od's na'e could " have %een so
stupidB 9o$ one thing, it was %igge$ than 2evo$e's 'as#7 fo$ anothe$, it was 'ade of opa)ue $athe$
than clea$ plastic! "t was +
" gave a tentative chuc#le! Ro''ie .issonette loo#ed t$e'endously $elieved! So did 1ennedy!
6ohn only loo#ed pu==led!
'9unny,' " said! '8i#e a $u%%e$ c$utch!' " pulled out the little 'i#e f$o' inside the 'as# and let it
dangle! "t swung %ac# and fo$th on its wi$e, $e'inding 'e of the waggy cloc#'s tail!
'(hat the hell is itB' 6ohn as#ed!
'0a$# Avenue lawye$,' Ro''ie said to 5eo$ge, %$oadening his accent so it ca'e out 6aa*aak
A&enew lawyah! 'Ain't nevah seen one of these, have ya, chu''yB Nossi$, coss not!' Then he
$eve$ted to no$'al*spea#, which was so$t of a $elief! "'ve lived in aine 'y whole life, and fo$ 'e
the a'use'ent value of %u$les)ue ,an#ee accents has wo$n p$etty thin! '"t's a Steno'as#! The
stenog #eeping the $eco$d at i#e's depo was wea$ing one! i#e #ept loo#ing at hi' + '
'"t f$ea#ed 'e out,' " said! 'Old guy sitting in the co$ne$ and 'u'%ling into the as# of Eo$$o!'
'5e$$y .liss f$ea#s a lot of people out,' 1ennedy said! He spo#e in a low $u'%le! 'He's the last
one a$ound he$e who wea$s e'! He's got ten o$ eleven left in his 'ud$oo'! " #now, %ecause "
%ought that one f$o' hi'!'
'" hope he stuc# it to you,' " said!
'" thought it would 'a#e a nice 'e'ento,' Ro''ie said, '%ut fo$ a second the$e " thought "'d
given you the %ox with the seve$ed hand in it + " hate it when " 'ix up 'y gift*%oxes li#e that!
(hat's the dealB'
'"t's %een a long hot 6uly,' " said! '0ut it down to that!' " hung the Steno'as#'s st$ap ove$ one
finge$, dangling it that way!
'attie said to %e the$e %y eleven,' 6ohn told us! '(e'$e going to d$in# %ee$ and th$ow the 9$is%ee
a$ound!'
'" can do %oth of those things )uite well,' 5eo$ge 1ennedy said!
Outside in the tiny pa$#ing lot 5eo$ge went to a dusty Alti'a, $u''aged in the %ac#, and ca'e
out with a %atte$ed copy of "he Red*Shirt #an! '9$ieda 'ade 'e %$ing this one! She has the newe$
ones, %ut this is he$ favo$ite! So$$y a%out how it loo#s + she's $ead it a%out six ti'es!'
"" '"t's 'y favo$ite, too,' " said, which was t$ue! 'And " li#e to see a %oo# with 'ileage!' That was
also t$ue! " opened the %oo#, loo#ed app$ovingly at a s'ea$ of long*d$ied chocolate on the flyleaf,
and then w$oteD /or /rieda @ennedy' whose husband was there to lend a hand( "hanks for sharing
him' and thanks /or reading' #ike Noonan(
That was a long insc$iption fo$ 'e + usually " &ust stic# to Best wishes o$ -ood luck, %ut "
wanted to 'a#e up fo$ the cu$dled exp$ession they had seen on 'y face when " opened thei$
innocent little gag p$esent! (hile " was sc$i%%ling, 5eo$ge as#ed 'e if " was wo$#ing on a new
novel!
'No,' " said! '.atte$ies cu$$ently on $echa$ge!' " handed the %oo# %ac#!
'9$ieda won't li#e that!'
'No! .ut the$e's always Red*Shirt!'
'(e'll follow you,' Ro''ie said, and a $u'%le ca'e f$o' deep in the west! "t was no loude$ than
the thunde$ which had $u'%led on and off fo$ the last wee#, %ut this wasn't d$y thunde$! (e all
#new it, and we all loo#ed in that di$ection!
'Thin# we'll get a chance to eat %efo$e it sto$'sB' 5eo$ge as#ed 'e!
',eah! 6ust a%out %a$ely!'
" d$ove to the gate of the pa$#ing lot and glanced $ight to chec# fo$ t$affic! (hen " did, " saw 6ohn
loo#ing at 'e thoughtfully!
'(hatB'
'attie said you were w$iting, that's all! .oo# go tits*up on you o$ so'ethingB'
#y hildhood /riend was &ust as lively as eve$, in fact ! ! ! %ut it would neve$ %e finished! " #new
that this 'o$ning as well as " #new the$e was $ain on the way! The %oys in the %ase'ent had fo$
so'e $eason decided to ta#e it %ac#! As#ing why 'ight not %e such a good idea + the answe$s
'ight %e unpleasant!
'So'ething! "'' not su$e &ust what!' " pulled out onto the highway, chec#ed %ehind 'e, and saw
Ro''ie and 5eo$ge following in 5eo$ge's little Alti'a! A'e$ica has %eco'e a count$y full of %ig
'en in little ca$s! '(hat do you want 'e to listen toB "f it's ho'e #a$ao#e, " pass! The last thing on
ea$th " want to hea$ is you singing K.u%%a Shot the 6u#e%ox 8ast Night!K'
'Oh, it's %ette$ than that,' he said! 'iles %ette$!'
He opened his %$iefcase, $ooted th$ough it, and ca'e out with a plastic cassette %ox! The tape
inside was 'a$#ed J*FA*;? + yeste$day! '" love this,' he said! He leaned fo$wa$d, tu$ned on the
$adio, then popped the cassette into the playe$!
" was hoping "'d al$eady had 'y )uota of nasty su$p$ises fo$ the 'o$ning, %ut " was w$ong!
'So$$y, " &ust had to get $id of anothe$ call,' 6ohn said f$o' 'y 3hevy's spea#e$s in his s'oothest,
'ost lawye$ly voice! "'d have %et a 'illion dolla$s that his %ony shins hadn't %een showing when
this tape was 'ade!
The$e was a laugh, %oth s'o#y and g$ating! y sto'ach sei=ed up at the sound of it! "
$e'e'%e$ed seeing he$ fo$ the fi$st ti'e standing outside The Sunset .a$, wea$ing %lac# sho$ts
ove$ a %lac# tan#*style swi'suit! Standing the$e and loo#ing li#e a $efugee f$o' c$ash*diet hell!
',ou 'ean you had to tu$n on you$ tape*$eco$de$,' she said, and now " $e'e'%e$ed how the
wate$ had see'ed to change colo$ when she nailed 'e that $eally good one in the %ac# of the head!
9$o' %$ight o$ange to da$# sca$let it had gone! And then "'d sta$ted d$in#ing the la#e! 'That's o#ay!
Tape anything you want!'
6ohn $eached out suddenly and e&ected the cassette! ',ou don't need to hea$ this,' he said! '"t's not
su%stantive! " thought you'd get a #ic# out of he$ %lathe$, %ut ! ! ! 'an, you loo# te$$i%le! 2o you
want 'e to d$iveB ,ou'$e white as a fuc#ing sheet!'
'" can d$ive,' " said! '5o on, play it! Afte$wa$d "'ll tell you a%out a little adventu$e " had 9$iday
night ! ! ! %ut you'$e going to #eep it to you$self! They don't have to #now' + " &e$#ed 'y thu'%
ove$ 'y shoulde$ at the Alti'a + 'and attie doesn't have to #now! Especially attie!'
He $eached fo$ the tape, then hesitated! ',ou'$e su$eB'
',eah! "t was &ust hea$ing he$ again out of the %lue li#e that! The )uality of he$ voice! 3h$ist, the
$ep$oduction is good!'
'Nothing %ut the %est fo$ Ave$y, c8ain, and .e$nstein! (e have ve$y st$ict p$otocols a%out
what we can tape, %y the way! "f you we$e wonde$ing!'
'" wasn't! " i'agine none of it's ad'issi%le in litigation anyway, is itB'
'"n ce$tain $a$e cases a &udge 'ight let a tape in, %ut that's not why we do it! A tape li#e this saved
a 'an's life fou$ yea$s ago, $ight a$ound the ti'e " &oined the fi$'! That guy is now in the (itness
0$otection 0$og$a'!'
'0lay it!'
He leaned fo$wa$d and pushed the %utton!
0ohnD 'How is the dese$t, s! (hit'o$eB'
WhitmoreD 'Hot!'
0ohnD 'A$$ange'ents p$og$essing nicelyB " #now how difficult ti'es li#e this can + '
WhitmoreD ',ou #now ve$y little, counsello$, ta#e it f$o' 'e! 3an we cut the c$apB'
0ohnD '3onside$ it cut!'
WhitmoreD 'Have you conveyed the conditions of $! 2evo$e's will to his daughte$*in*lawB'
0ohnD ',es 'a'a'!'
WhitmoreD 'He$ $esponseB'
0ohnD '" have none to give you now! " 'ay have afte$ $! 2evo$e's will has %een p$o%ated! .ut
su$ely you #now that such codicils a$e $a$ely if eve$ accepted %y the cou$ts!'
WhitmoreD '(ell, if that little lady 'oves out of town, we'll see, won't weB'
0ohnD '" suppose we will!'
WhitmoreD '(hen is the victo$y pa$tyB'
0ohnD 'Excuse 'eB'
WhitmoreD 'Oh please! " have sixty diffe$ent appoint'ents today, plus a %oss to %u$y to'o$$ow!
,ou'$e going up the$e to cele%$ate with he$ and he$ daughte$, a$en't youB 2id you #now
she's invited the w$ite$B He$ fuc#*%uddyB'
6ohn tu$ned to 'e gleefully! '2o you hea$ how pissed she soundsB She's t$ying to hide it, %ut she
can't! "t's eating he$ up insideC'
" %a$ely hea$d hi'! " was in the =one with what she was saying
7the writer her fuck*buddy8
and what was unde$ what she was saying! So'e )uality %eneath the wo$ds! We )ust want to see
how long you can swim, she had called out to 'e!
0ohnD '" ha$dly thin# what " o$ attie's f$iends do is any of you$ %usiness, s (hit'o$e! ay "
$espectfully suggest that you pa$ty with you$ f$iends and let attie 2evo$e pa$ty with h +
WhitmoreD '5ive hi' a 'essage!'
e! She was tal#ing a%out 'e! Then " $eali=ed it was even 'o$e pe$sonal than that + she was
tal#ing to 'e! He$ %ody 'ight %e on the othe$ side of the count$y, %ut he$ voice and spiteful spi$it
we$e $ight he$e in the ca$ with us!
And ax 2evo$e's will! Not the 'eaningless shit his lawye$s had put down on pape$ %ut his will!
The old %asta$d was as dead as 2a'ocles, %ut yes, he was definitely still see#ing custody!
0ohnD '5ive who a 'essage, s! (hit'o$eB'
WhitmoreD 'Tell hi' he neve$ answe$ed $! 2evo$e's )uestion!'
0ohnD '(hat )uestion is thatB'
Does her cunt suck?
WhitmoreD 'As# hi'! He'll #now!'
0ohnD '"f you 'ean i#e Noonan, you can as# hi' you$self! ,ou'll see hi' in 3astle 3ounty
0$o%ate 3ou$t this fall!'
WhitmoreD '" ha$dly thin# so! $! 2evo$e's will was 'ade and witnessed out he$e!'
0ohnD 'Neve$theless, it will %e p$o%ated in aine, whe$e he died! y hea$t is set on it! And when
you leave 3astle 3ounty the next ti'e, Rogette, you will do so with you$ education in
'atte$s of the law conside$a%ly %$oadened!'
9o$ the fi$st ti'e she sounded ang$y, he$ voice $ising to a $eedy caw!
WhitmoreD '"f you thin# + '
0ohnD '" don't thin#! " #now! 5ood%ye, s! (hit'o$e!'
WhitmoreD ',ou 'ight do well to stay away f$o' + '
The$e was a clic#, the hu' of an open line, then a $o%ot voice saying 'Nine*fo$ty A!! ! ! ! Easte$n
2aylight ! ! ! 6uly ! ! ! twentieth!' 6ohn punched E6E3T, collected his tape, and sto$ed it %ac# in his
%$iefcase!
'" hung up on he$!' He sounded li#e a 'an telling you a%out his fi$st s#ydive! '" actually did! She
was 'ad, wasn't sheB (ouldn't you say she was se$iously pissedB'
',eah!' "t was what he wanted to hea$ %ut not what " $eally %elieved! 0issed, yes! Seriously
pissedB ay%e not! .ecause attie's location and state of 'ind hadn't %een he$ conce$n7 Rogette
had called to tal# to 'e! To tell 'e she was thin#ing of 'e! To %$ing %ac# 'e'o$ies of how it felt
to t$ead wate$ with the %ac# of you$ head gushing %lood! To f$ea# 'e out! And she had succeeded!
'(hat was the )uestion you didn't answe$B' 6ohn as#ed 'e!
'" don't #now what she 'eant %y that,' " said, '%ut " can tell you why hea$ing he$ tu$ned 'e a little
white in the gills! "f you can %e disc$eet, and if you want to hea$!'
'(e've got eighteen 'iles to cove$7 lay it on 'e!'
" told hi' a%out 9$iday night! " didn't clutte$ 'y ve$sion with visions o$ psychic pheno'ena7
the$e was &ust ichael Noonan out fo$ a sunset wal# along The St$eet! "'d %een standing %y a %i$ch
t$ee which hung ove$ the la#e, watching the sun d$op towa$d the 'ountains, when they ca'e up
%ehind 'e! 9$o' the point whe$e 2evo$e cha$ged 'e with his wheelchai$ to the point whe$e "
finally got %ac# onto solid g$ound, " stuc# p$etty 'uch to the t$uth!
(hen " finished, 6ohn was at fi$st utte$ly silent! "t was a 'easu$e of how th$own fo$ a loop he
was7 unde$ no$'al ci$cu'stances he was eve$y %it the chatte$%ox 1i was!
'(ellB' " as#ed! '3o''entsB NuestionsB'
'8ift you$ hai$ so " can see %ehind you$ ea$!'
" did as he as#ed, $evealing a %ig .and*Aid and a la$ge a$ea of swelling! 6ohn leaned fo$wa$d to
study it li#e a little #id o%se$ving his %est f$iend's %attle*sca$ du$ing $ecess! 'Holy shit,' he said at
last!
"t was 'y tu$n to say nothing!
'Those two old fuc#s t$ied to d$own you!'
" said nothing!
'They t$ied to d$own you fo$ helping attie!'
Now " really said nothing!
'And you neve$ $epo$ted itB'
'" sta$ted to,' " said, 'then $eali=ed "'d 'a#e 'yself loo# li#e a whiny little asshole! And a lia$,
'ost li#ely!'
'How 'uch do you thin# Osgood 'ight #nowB'
'A%out the' t$ying to d$own 'eB Nothing! He's &ust a 'essenge$ %oy!'
A little 'o$e of that unusual )uiet f$o' 6ohn! Afte$ a few seconds of it he $eached out and
touched the lu'p on the %ac# of 'y head!
'OwC'
'So$$y!' A pause! '6esus! Then he went %ac# to (a$$ington's and pulled the pin! 6esus! ichael, "
neve$ would have played that tape if "'d #nown + '
'"t's all $ight! .ut don't even thin# of telling attie! "'' wea$ing 'y hai$ ove$ 'y ea$ li#e that fo$
a $eason!'
'(ill you e&er tell he$, do you thin#B'
'" 'ight! So'e day when he's %een dead long enough so we can laugh a%out 'e swi''ing with
'y clothes on!'
'That 'ight %e awhile,' he said!
',eah! "t 'ight!'
(e d$ove in silence fo$ a %it! " could sense 6ohn g$oping fo$ a way to %$ing the day %ac# to
&u%ilation, and loved hi' fo$ it! He leaned fo$wa$d, tu$ned on the $adio, and found so'ething loud
and nasty %y 5uns 'n Roses + welco'e to the &ungle, %a%y, we got fun and ga'es!
'0a$ty 'til we pu#e,' he said! 'RightB'
" g$inned! "t wasn't easy with the sound of the old wo'an's voice still clinging to 'e li#e light
sli'e, %ut " 'anaged! '"f you insist,' " said!
'" do,' he said! 'ost ce$tainly!'
'6ohn, you'$e a good guy fo$ a lawye$!'
'And you'$e a good one fo$ a w$ite$!'
This ti'e the g$in on 'y face felt 'o$e natu$al and stayed on longe$! (e passed the 'a$#e$
$eading TR*;A, and as we did, the sun %u$ned th$ough the ha=e and flooded the day with light! "t
see'ed li#e an o'en of %ette$ ti'es ahead, until " loo#ed into the west! The$e, %lac# in the %$ight, "
could see the thunde$heads %uilding up ove$ the (hite ountains!
3HA0TER T(ENT,*9"4E
9o$ 'en, " thin#, love is a thing fo$'ed of e)ual pa$ts lust and astonish'ent! The astonish'ent pa$t
wo'en unde$stand! The lust pa$t they only thin# they unde$stand! 4e$y few + pe$haps one in
twenty + have any concept of what it $eally is o$ how deep it $uns! That's p$o%a%ly &ust as well fo$
thei$ sleep and peace of 'ind! And "'' not tal#ing a%out the lust of saty$s and $apists and 'oleste$s7
"'' tal#ing a%out the lust of shoe*cle$#s and high*school p$incipals!
Not to 'ention w$ite$s and lawye$s!
(e tu$ned into attie's doo$ya$d at ten to eleven, and as " pa$#ed 'y 3hevy %eside he$ $usted*
out 6eep, the t$aile$ doo$ opened and at*tie ca'e out on the top step! " suc#ed in 'y %$eath, and
%eside 'e " could hea$ 6ohn suc#ing in his!
She was ve$y li#ely the 'ost %eautiful young wo'an " have eve$ seen in 'y life as she stood
the$e in he$ $ose*colo$ed sho$ts and 'atching 'iddy top! The sho$ts we$e not sho$t enough to %e
cheap -'y 'othe$'s wo$d/ %ut plenty sho$t enough to %e p$ovocative! He$ top tied in floppy st$ing
%ows ac$oss the shoulde$s and showed &ust enough tan to d$ea' on! He$ hai$ hung to he$ shoulde$s!
She was s'iling and waving! " thought, She's made it 3 take her into the country*club dining room
now' dressed )ust as she is' and she shuts e&eryone else down(
'Oh 8o$dy,' 6ohn said! The$e was a #ind of dis'ayed longing in his voice! 'All that and a %ag of
chips!'
',eah,' " said! '0ut you$ eyes %ac# in you$ head, %ig %oy!'
He 'ade cupping 'otions with his hands as if doing &ust that!
5eo$ge, 'eanwhile, had pulled his Alti'a in next to us!
'3o'e on,' " said, opening 'y doo$! 'Ti'e to pa$ty!'
'" can't touch he$, i#e,' 6ohn said! '"'ll 'elt!'
'3o'e on, you goof!'
attie ca'e down the steps and past the pot with the to'ato plant in it! 1i was %ehind he$,
d$essed in an outfit si'ila$ to he$ 'othe$'s, only in a shade of da$# g$een! She had the shys again, "
saw7 she #ept one steadying hand on attie's leg and one thu'% in he$ 'outh!
'The guys a$e he$eC The guys a$e he$eC' attie c$ied, laughing, and th$ew he$self into 'y a$'s!
She hugged 'e tight and #issed the co$ne$ of 'y 'outh! " hugged he$ %ac# and #issed he$ chee#!
Then she 'oved on to 6ohn, $ead his shi$t, patted he$ hands togethe$ in applause, and then hugged
hi'! He hugged %ac# p$etty well fo$ a guy who was af$aid he 'ight 'elt, " thought, pic#ing he$ up
off he$ feet and swinging he$ a$ound in a ci$cle while she hung onto his nec# and laughed!
'Rich lady, $ich lady, $ich ladyC' 6ohn chanted, then set he$ down on the co$# soles of he$ white
shoes!
'9$ee lady, f$ee lady, f$ee ladyC' she chanted %ac#! 'The hell with $ichC' .efo$e he could $eply, she
#issed hi' fi$'ly on the 'outh! His a$'s $ose to slip a$ound he$, %ut she stepped %ac# %efo$e they
could catch hold! She tu$ned to Ro''ie and 5eo$ge, who we$e standing side*%y*side and loo#ing
li#e fellows who 'ight want to explain all a%out the o$'on 3hu$ch!
" too# a step fo$wa$d, 'eaning to do the int$oductions, %ut 6ohn was ta#ing ca$e of that, and one
of his a$'s 'anaged to acco'plish its 'ission afte$ all + it ci$cled he$ waist as he led he$ fo$wa$d
towa$d the 'en!
eanwhile a little hand slipped into 'ine! " loo#ed down and saw 1i loo#ing up at 'e! He$ face
was g$ave and pale and eve$y %it as %eautiful as he$ 'othe$'s! He$ %londe hai$, f$eshly washed and
shining, was held %ac# with a velvet sc$unchy!
'5uess the f$idgeafato$ people don't li#e 'e now,' she said! The laughte$ and insouciance we$e
gone, at least fo$ the 'o'ent! She loo#ed on the ve$ge of tea$s! 'y lette$s all went %ye*%ye!'
" pic#ed he$ up and set he$ in the c$oo# of 'y a$' as " had on the day "'d 'et he$ wal#ing down
the 'iddle of Route L? in he$ %athing suit! " #issed he$ fo$ehead and then the tip of he$ nose! He$
s#in was pe$fect sil#! '" #now they did,' " said! '"'ll %uy you so'e 'o$e!'
'0$o'iseB' 2ou%tful da$# %lue eyes fixed on 'ine!
'0$o'ise! And "'ll teach you special wo$ds li#e K=ygoteK and K%i%ulousK! " #now lots of special
wo$ds!'
'How 'anyB'
'A hund$ed and eighty!'
Thunde$ $u'%led in the west! "t didn't see' loude$, %ut it was 'o$e focused, so'ehow! 1i's eyes
went in that di$ection, then ca'e %ac# to 'ine! '"'' sca$ed, i#e!'
'Sca$edB Of whatB'
'Ofi don't #now! The lady in attie's d$ess! The 'en we saw!' Then she loo#ed ove$ 'y
shoulde$! 'He$e co'es o''y!' " have hea$d act$esses delive$ the line Not in front of the children
in that exact sa'e tone of voice! 1y$a wiggled in the ci$cle of 'y a$'s! '8and 'e!'
" landed he$! attie, 6ohn, Ro''ie, and 5eo$ge ca'e ove$ to &oin us! 1i $an to attie, who
pic#ed he$ up and then eyed us li#e a gene$al su$veying he$ t$oops!
'5ot the %ee$B' she as#ed 'e!
',essu'! A case of .ud and a do=en 'ixed sodas, as well! 0lus le'onade!'
'5$eat! $! 1ennedy + '
'5eo$ge, 'a'a'!'
'5eo$ge, then! And if you call 'e 'a'a' again, "'ll punch you in the nose! "'' attie! (ould you
d$ive down to the 8a#eview 5ene$al'*she pointed to the sto$e on Route L?, a%out half a 'ile f$o'
us + 'and get so'e iceB'
',ou %et!'
'$! .issonette + '
'Ro''ie!'
'The$e's a little ga$den at the no$th end of the t$aile$, Ro''ie! 3an you find a couple of good*
loo#ing lettucesB'
'" thin# " can handle that!'
'6ohn, let's get the 'eat into the f$idge! As fo$ you, ichael ! ! ! ' She pointed to the %a$%ecue!
'The %$i)uets a$e the self*lighting #ind + &ust d$op a 'atch and stand %ac#! 2o you$ duty!'
'Aye, good lady,' " said, and d$opped to 'y #nees in f$ont of he$! That finally got a giggle out of
1i!
8aughing, attie too# 'y hand and pulled 'e %ac# onto 'y feet! '3o'e on, Si$ 5alahad,' she
said! '"t's going to $ain! " want to %e safe inside and too stuffed to &u'p when it does!'
"n the city, pa$ties %egin with g$eetings at the doo$, gathe$ed*in coats, and those peculia$ little ai$*
#isses -when, exactly, did that social oddity %eginB/! "n the count$y, they %egin with cho$es! ,ou
fetch, you ca$$y, you hunt fo$ stuff li#e %a$%ecue tongs and oven 'itts! The hostess d$afts a couple
of 'en to 'ove the picnic ta%le, then decides it was actually %ette$ whe$e it was and as#s the' to
put it %ac#! And at so'e point you discove$ that you'$e having fun!
" piled %$i)uets until they loo#ed app$oxi'ately li#e the py$a'id on the %ag, then touched a
'atch to the'! They %la=ed up satisfyingly and " stood %ac#, wiping 'y fo$ea$' ac$oss 'y
fo$ehead! 3ool and clea$ 'ight %e co'ing, %ut it su$ely wasn't in hailing distance yet! The sun had
%u$ned th$ough and the day had gone f$o' dull to da==ling, yet in the west %lac#*satin
thunde$heads continued to stac# up! "t was as if night had %u$st a %lood*vessel in the s#y ove$ the$e!
'i#eB'
" loo#ed a$ound at 1y$a! '(hat, honeyB'
'(ill you ta#e ca$e of 'eB'
',es,' " said with no hesitation at all!
9o$ a 'o'ent so'ething a%out 'y $esponse + pe$haps only the )uic#ness of it + see'ed to
t$ou%le he$! Then she s'iled! 'O#ay,' she said! '8oo#, he$e co'es the ice*'anC'
5eo$ge was %ac# f$o' the sto$e! He pa$#ed and got out! " wal#ed ove$ with 1y$a, she holding
'y hand and swinging it possessively %ac# and fo$th! Ro''ie ca'e with us, &uggling th$ee heads
of lettuce + " didn't thin# he was 'uch of a th$eat to the guy who had fascinated 1i on the
co''on Satu$day night!
5eo$ge opened the Alti'a's %ac# doo$ and %$ought out two %ags of ice! 'The sto$e was closed,' he
said! 'Sign said ("88 RE*O0EN AT @ 0!! That see'ed a little too long to wait, so " too# the ice and
put the 'oney th$ough the 'ail*slot!'
They'd closed fo$ Royce e$$ill's fune$al, of cou$se! Had given up al'ost a full day's custo' at
the height of the tou$ist season to see the old fellow into the g$ound! "t was so$t of touching! "
thought it was also so$t of c$eepy!
'3an " ca$$y so'e iceB' 1y$a as#ed!
'" guess, %ut don't f$i==icate you$self,' 5eo$ge said, and ca$efully put a five*pound %ag of ice into
1i's outst$etched a$'s!
'9$i==icate,' 1y$a said, giggling! She %egan wal#ing towa$d the t$aile$, whe$e attie was &ust
co'ing out! 6ohn was %ehind he$ and $ega$ding he$ with the eyes of a gutshot %eagle! 'o''y,
loo#C "'' f$i==icatingC'
" too# the othe$ %ag! '" #now the ice%ox is outside, %ut don't they #eep a padloc# on itB'
'" a' f$iends with 'ost padloc#s,' 5eo$ge said!
'Oh! " see!'
'i#eC 3atchC' 6ohn tossed a $ed 9$is%ee! "t floated towa$d 'e, %ut high! " &u'ped fo$ it, snagged
it, and suddenly 2evo$e was %ac# in 'y headD What's wrong with you' Rogette? ,ou ne&er used to
throw like a girl -et him5
" loo#ed down and saw 1i loo#ing up! '2on't thin# a%out sad stuff,' she said!
" s'iled at he$, then flipped he$ the 9$is%ee! 'O#ay, no sad stuff! 5o on, sweethea$t! Toss it to
you$ 'o'! 8et's see if you can!'
She s'iled %ac#, tu$ned, and 'ade a )uic#, accu$ate flip to he$ 'othe$ + the toss was so ha$d
that attie al'ost flu%%ed it! (hateve$ else 1y$a 2evo$e 'ight have %een, she was a 9$is%ee
cha'pion in the 'a#ing!
attie tossed the 9$is%ee to 5eo$ge, who tu$ned, the tail of his a%su$d %$own suitcoat fla$ing, and
caught it deftly %ehind his %ac#! attie laughed and applauded, the he' of he$ top fli$ting with he$
navel!
'ShowoffC' 6ohn called f$o' the steps!
'6ealousy is such an ugly e'otion,' 5eo$ge said to Ro''ie .issonette, and flipped hi' the
9$is%ee! Ro''ie floated it %ac# to 6ohn, %ut it went wide and %on#ed off the side of the t$aile$! As
6ohn hu$$ied down the steps to get it, attie tu$ned to 'e! 'y %oo'%ox is on the coffee*ta%le in
the living $oo', along with a stac# of 32s! ost of the' a$e p$etty old, %ut at least it's 'usic! (ill
you %$ing the' outB'
'Su$e!'
" went inside, whe$e it was hot in spite of th$ee st$ategically placed fans wo$#ing ove$ti'e! "
loo#ed at the g$i', 'ass*p$oduced fu$nitu$e, and at attie's $athe$ no%le effo$t to i'pa$t so'e
cha$acte$D the van 5ogh p$int that should not have loo#ed at ho'e in a t$aile$ #itchenette %ut did,
Edwa$d Hoppe$'s Nighthawks ove$ the sofa, the tie*dyed cu$tains that would have 'ade 6o laugh!
The$e was a %$ave$y he$e that 'ade 'e sad fo$ he$ and fu$ious at ax 2evo$e all ove$ again! 2ead
o$ not, " wanted to #ic# his ass!
" went into the living $oo' and saw the new a$y Higgins 3la$# on the sofa end*ta%le with a
%oo#'a$# stic#ing out of it! 8ying %eside it in a heap we$e a couple of little*gi$l hai$ $i%%ons +
so'ething a%out the' loo#ed fa'ilia$ to 'e, although " couldn't $e'e'%e$ eve$ having seen 1i
wea$ing the'! " stood the$e a 'o'ent longe$, f$owning, then g$a%%ed the %oo'%ox and 32s and
went %ac# outside! 'Hey, guys,' " said! '8et's $oc#!'
" was o#ay until she danced! " don't #now if it 'atte$s to you, %ut it does to 'e! " was o#ay until she
danced! Afte$ that " was lost!
(e too# the 9$is%ee a$ound to the $ea$ of the house, pa$tly so we wouldn't piss off any fune$al*
%ound townies with ou$ $owdiness and good chee$, 'ostly %ecause attie's %ac# ya$d was a good
place to play + level g$ound and low g$ass! Afte$ a couple of 'issed catches, attie #ic#ed off he$
pa$ty*shoes, dashed %a$efoot into the house, and ca'e %ac# in he$ snea#e$s! Afte$ that she was a lot
%ette$!
(e th$ew the 9$is%ee, yelled insults at each othe$, d$an# %ee$, laughed a lot! 1i wasn't 'uch on
the catching pa$t, %ut she had a pheno'enal a$' fo$ a #id of th$ee and played with gusto! Ro''ie
had set the %oo'%ox up on the t$aile$'s %ac# step, and it spun out a ha=e of late*eighties and ea$ly*
nineties 'usicD UF, Tea$s fo$ 9ea$s, the Eu$yth'ics, 3$owded House, A 9loc# of Seagulls, Ah*
Hah, the .angles, elissa Ethe$idge, Huey 8ewis and the News! "t see'ed to 'e that " #new eve$y
song, eve$y $iff!
(e sweated and sp$inted in the noon light! (e watched attie's long, tanned legs flash and
listened to the %$ight $uns of 1y$a's laughte$! At one point Ro''ie .issonette went head ove$
heels, all the change spilling out of his poc#ets, and 6ohn laughed until he had to sit down! Tea$s
$olled f$o' his eyes! 1i $an ove$ and plopped on his defenseless lap! 6ohn stopped laughing in a
hu$$y! 'Ooofl' he c$ied, loo#ing at 'e with shining, wounded eyes as his %$uised %alls no dou%t t$ied
to cli'% %ac# inside his %ody!
'1y$a De&oreC' attie c$ied, loo#ing at 6ohn app$ehensively!
'" taggled 'y own )ua$te$'ac#,' 1i said p$oudly!
6ohn s'iled fee%ly at he$ and stagge$ed to his feet! ',es,' he said! ',ou did! And the $ef calls
fifteen ya$ds fo$ s)uashing!'
'A$e you o#ay, 'anB' 5eo$ge as#ed! He loo#ed conce$ned, %ut his voice was g$inning!
'"'' fine,' 6ohn said, and spun hi' the 9$is%ee! "t wo%%led fee%ly ac$oss the ya$d! '5o on, th$ow!
8et's see whatcha got!'
The thunde$ $u'%led loude$, %ut the %lac# clouds we$e all still west of us7 the s#y ove$head
$e'ained a ha$'less hu'id %lue! .i$ds still sang and c$ic#ets hu''ed in the g$ass! The$e was a
heat*shi''e$ ove$ the %a$%ecue, and it would soon %e ti'e to slap on 6ohn's New ,o$# stea#s! The
9$is%ee still flew, $ed against the g$een of the g$ass and t$ees, the %lue of the s#y! " was still in lust,
%ut eve$ything was still all $ight + 'en a$e in lust all ove$ the wo$ld and da'ned nea$ all of the
ti'e, and the icecaps don't 'elt! .ut she danced, and eve$ything changed!
"t was an old 2on Henley song, one d$iven %y a $eally nasty guita$ $iff!
'Oh 5od, " love this one,' attie c$ied! The 9$is%ee ca'e to he$! She caught it, d$opped it,
stepped on it as if it we$e a hot $ed spot falling on a nightclu% stage, and %egan to sha#e! She put
he$ hands fi$st %ehind he$ nec# and then on he$ hips and then %ehind he$ %ac#! She danced standing
with the toes of he$ snea#e$s on the 9$is%ee! She danced without 'oving! She danced as they say in
that song + li#e a wave on the ocean!
'"he go&ernment bugged the men's room
in the local disco lounge'
And all she wants to do is dance' dance ( ( (
"o keep the boys from selling
all the weapons they can scrounge'
And all she wants to do' all she wants to do is dance('
(o'en a$e sexy when they dance + inc$edi%ly sexy + %ut that wasn't what " $eacted to, o$ how
" $eacted! The lust " was coping with, %ut this was 'o$e than lust, and not copea%le! "t was
so'ething that suc#ed the wind out of 'e and left 'e feeling utte$ly at he$ 'e$cy! "n that 'o'ent
she was the 'ost %eautiful thing " had eve$ seen, not a p$etty wo'an in sho$ts and a 'iddy top
dancing in place on a 9$is%ee, %ut 4enus $evealed! She was eve$ything " had 'issed du$ing the last
fou$ yea$s, when "'d %een so %adly off " didn't #now " was 'issing anything! She $o%%ed 'e of any
last defenses " 'ight have had! The age diffe$ence didn't 'atte$! "f " loo#ed to people li#e 'y
tongue was hanging out even when 'y 'outh was shut, then so %e it! "f " lost 'y dignity, 'y p$ide,
'y sense of self, then so %e it! 9ou$ yea$s on 'y own had taught 'e the$e a$e wo$se things to lose!
How long did she stand the$e, dancingB " don't #now! 0$o%a%ly not long, not even a 'inute, and
then she $eali=ed we we$e loo#ing at he$, $apt + %ecause to so'e deg$ee they all saw what " saw
and felt what " felt! 9o$ that 'inute o$ howeve$ long it was, " don't thin# any of us used 'uch
oxygen!
She stepped off the 9$is%ee, laughing and %lushing at the sa'e ti'e, confused %ut not $eally
unco'fo$ta%le! '"'' so$$y,' she said! '" &ust ! ! ! " love that song!'
'All she wants to do is dance,' Ro''ie said!
',es, so'eti'es that's all she wants,' attie said, and %lushed ha$de$ than eve$! 'Excuse 'e, "
have to use the facility!' She tossed 'e the 9$is%ee and then dashed fo$ the t$aile$!
" too# a deep %$eath, t$ying to steady 'yself %ac# to $eality, and saw 6ohn doing the sa'e thing!
5eo$ge 1ennedy was wea$ing a 'ildly stunned exp$ession, as if so'eone had fed hi' a light
sedative and it was finally ta#ing effect!
Thunde$ $u'%led! This ti'e it did sound close$!
" s#i''ed the 9$is%ee to Ro''ie! '(hat do you thin#B'
'" thin# "'' in love,' he said, and then see'ed to give hi'self a s'all 'ental sha#e + it was a
thing you could see in his eyes! '" also thin# it's ti'e we got going on those stea#s if we'$e going to
eat outside! (ant to help 'eB'
'Su$e!'
'" will, too,' 6ohn said!
(e wal#ed %ac# to the t$aile$, leaving 5eo$ge and 1y$a to play toss! 1y$a was as#ing 5eo$ge if
he had eve$ caught any c$ini'als! "n the #itchen, attie was standing %eside the open f$idge and
stac#ing stea#s on a platte$! 'Than# 5od you guys ca'e in! " was on the point of giving up and
go%%ling one of these &ust the way it is! They'$e the 'ost %eautiful things " eve$ saw!'
',ou'$e the 'ost %eautiful thing 1 eve$ saw,' 6ohn said! He was %eing totally since$e, %ut the s'ile
she gave hi' was dist$acted and a little %e'used! " 'ade a 'ental note to 'yselfD neve$
co'pli'ent a wo'an on he$ %eauty when she has a couple of $aw stea#s in he$ hands! "t &ust
doesn't tu$n the wind'ill so'ehow!
'How a$e you at %a$%ecuing 'eatB' she as#ed 'e! 'Tell the t$uth, %ecause these a$e way too good
to 'ess up!'
'" can hold 'y own!'
'O#ay, you'$e hi$ed! 6ohn, you'$e assisting! Ro''ie, help 'e do salads!'
'y pleasu$e!'
5eo$ge and 1i had co'e a$ound to the f$ont of the t$aile$ and we$e now sitting in lawn*chai$s
li#e a couple of old c$onies at thei$ 8ondon clu%! 5eo$ge was telling 1i how he had shot it out with
Rolfe Nedeau and the Real .ad 5ang on 8is%on St$eet in :;;G!
'5eo$ge, what's happening to you$ noseB' 6ohn as#ed! '"t's getting so long!'
'2o you 'indB' 5eo$ge as#ed! '"'' having a conve$sation he$e!'
'$! 1ennedy has caught lots of c$oo#ed c$ini'als,' 1y$a said! 'He caught the Real .ad 5ang
and put the' in Supe$'ax!'
',es,' " said! '$! 1ennedy also won an Acade'y Awa$d fo$ acting in a 'ovie called ool .and
%uke!'
'That's a%solutely co$$ect,' 5eo$ge said! He $aised his $ight hand and c$ossed the two finge$s! 'e
and 0aul New'an! 6ust li#e that!'
'(e have his pusgetti sauce,' 1i said g$avely, and that got 6ohn laughing again! "t didn't hit 'e
the sa'e way, %ut laughte$ is catching7 &ust watching 6ohn was enough to %$ea# 'e up afte$ a few
seconds! (e we$e howling li#e a couple of fools as we slapped the stea#s on the g$ill! "t's a wonde$
we didn't %u$n ou$ hands off!
'(hy a$e they laughingB' 1i as#ed 5eo$ge!
'.ecause they'$e foolish 'en with little tiny %$ains,' 5eo$ge said! 'Now listen, 1i + " got the' all
except fo$ the Hu'an Headcase! He &u'ped into his ca$ and " &u'ped into 'ine! The details of that
chase a$e nothing fo$ a little gi$l to hea$ + '
5eo$ge $egaled he$ with the' anyway while 6ohn and " stood g$inning at each othe$ ac$oss
attie's %a$%ecue! 'This is g$eat, isn't itB' 6ohn said, and " nodded!
attie ca'e out with co$n w$apped in alu'inu' foil, followed %y Ro''ie, who had a la$ge
salad %owl clasped in his a$'s and negotiated the steps ca$efully, t$ying to pee$ ove$ the top of the
%owl as he 'ade his way down the'!
(e sat at the picnic ta%le, 5eo$ge and Ro''ie on one side, 6ohn and " flan#ing attie on the
othe$! 1i sat at the head, pe$ched on a stac# of old 'aga=ines in a lawn*chai$! attie tied a
dishtowel a$ound he$ nec#, an indignity 1i su%'itted to only %ecause -a/ she was wea$ing new
clothes, and -%/ a dishtowel wasn't a %a%y*%i%, at least technically spea#ing!
(e ate hugely + salad, stea# -and 6ohn was $ight, it $eally was the %est "'d eve$ had/, $oasted
co$n on the co%, 'st$ew%e$$y sno$tca#e' fo$ desse$t! .y the ti'e we'd gotten a$ound to the sno$tca#e,
the thunde$heads we$e noticea%ly close$ and the$e was a hot, &e$#y %$ee=e %lowing a$ound the ya$d!
'attie, if " neve$ eat a 'eal as good as this one again, " won't %e su$p$ised,' Ro''ie said!
'Than#s eve$ so 'uch fo$ having 'e!'
'Than# you,' she said! The$e we$e tea$s standing in he$ eyes! She too# 'y hand on one side and
6ohn's on the othe$! She s)uee=ed %oth! 'Than# you all! "f you #new what things we$e li#e fo$ 1i
and 'e %efo$e this last wee# ! ! ! ' She shoo# he$ head, gave 6ohn and 'e a final s)uee=e, and let go!
'.ut that's ove$!'
'8oo# at the %a%y,' 5eo$ge said, a'used!
1i had slu'ped %ac# in he$ lawn*chai$ and was loo#ing at us with gla=ing eyes! ost of he$ hai$
had co'e out of the sc$unchy and lay in clu'ps against he$ chee#s! The$e was a da% of whipped
c$ea' on he$ nose and a single yellow #e$nel of co$n sitting in the 'iddle of he$ chin!
'" th$ew the 9$is%ee six fousan ti'es,' 1y$a said! She spo#e in a distant, decla'ato$y tone! '"
ti$ed!'
attie sta$ted to get up! " put 'y hand on he$ a$'! '8et 'eB'
She nodded, s'iling! '"f you want!'
" pic#ed 1y$a up and ca$$ied he$ a$ound to the steps! Thunde$ $u'%led again, a long, low $oll
that sounded li#e the sna$l of a huge dog! " loo#ed up at the enc$oaching clouds, and as " did,
'ove'ent caught 'y eye! "t was an old %lue ca$ heading west on (asp Hill Road towa$d the la#e!
The only $eason " noticed it was that it was wea$ing one of those stupid %u'pe$*stic#e$s f$o' the
4illage 3afeD HORN .RO1EN + (AT3H 9OR 9"N5ER!
" ca$$ied 1i up the steps and th$ough the doo$, tu$ning he$ so " wouldn't %u'p he$ head! 'Ta#e
ca$e of 'e,' she said in he$ sleep! The$e was a sadness in he$ voice that chilled 'e! "t was as if she
#new she was as#ing the i'possi%le! 'Ta#e ca$e of 'e, "'' little, a'a says "'' a little guy!'
'"'ll ta#e ca$e of you,' " said, and #issed that sil#y place %etween he$ eyes again! '2on't wo$$y, 1i,
go to sleep!'
" ca$$ied he$ to he$ $oo' and put he$ on he$ %ed! .y then she was totally con#ed out! " wiped the
c$ea' off he$ nose and pic#ed the co$n*#e$nel off he$ chin! " glanced at 'y watch and saw it was
ten 'til two! They would %e gathe$ing at 5$ace .aptist %y now! .ill 2ean was wea$ing a g$ay tie!
.uddy 6ellison had a hat on! He was standing %ehind the chu$ch with so'e othe$ 'en who we$e
s'o#ing %efo$e going inside!
" tu$ned! attie was in the doo$way! 'i#e,' she said! '3o'e he$e, please!'
" went to he$! The$e was no cloth %etween he$ waist and 'y hands this ti'e! He$ s#in was wa$',
and as sil#y as he$ daughte$'s! She loo#ed up at 'e, he$ lips pa$ted! He$ hips p$essed fo$wa$d, and
when she felt what was ha$d down the$e, she p$essed ha$de$ against it!
'i#e,' she said again!
" closed 'y eyes! " felt li#e so'eone who has &ust co'e to the doo$way of a %$ightly lit $oo' full
of people laughing and tal#ing! And dancing! .ecause so'eti'es that is all we want to do!
1 want to come in' 1 thought( "hat's what 1 want to do' all 1 want to do( %et me do what 1 want(
%et me 3
" $eali=ed " was saying it aloud, whispe$ing it $apidly into he$ ea$ as " held he$ with 'y hands
going up and down he$ %ac#, 'y finge$tips $idging he$ spine, touching he$ shoulde$%lades, then
co'ing a$ound in f$ont to cup he$ s'all %$easts!
',es,' she said! '(hat we %oth want! ,es! That's fine!'
Slowly, she $eached up with he$ thu'%s and wiped the wet places f$o' unde$ 'y eyes! " d$ew
%ac# f$o' he$! 'The #ey + '
She s'iled a little! ',ou #now whe$e it is!'
'"'ll co'e tonight!'
'5ood!'
'"'ve %een ! ! ! ' " had to clea$ 'y th$oat! " loo#ed at 1y$a, who was deeply asleep! '"'ve %een
lonely! " don't thin# " #new it, %ut " have %een!'
'e too! And " #new it fo$ %oth of us! 1iss, please!'
" #issed he$! " thin# ou$ tongues touched, %ut "'' not su$e! (hat " $e'e'%e$ 'ost clea$ly is the
li&eness of he$! She was li#e a d$eidel lightly spinning in 'y a$'s!
'HeyC' 6ohn called f$o' outside, and we sp$ang apa$t! ',ou guys want to give us a little helpB "t's
gonna $ainC'
'Than#s fo$ finally 'a#ing up you$ 'ind,' she said to 'e in a low voice! She tu$ned and hu$$ied
%ac# up the dou%lewide's na$$ow co$$ido$! The next ti'e she spo#e to 'e, " don't thin# she #new
who she was tal#ing to, o$ whe$e she was! The next ti'e she spo#e to 'e, she was dying!
'2on't wa#e the %a%y,' " hea$d he$ tell 6ohn, and his $esponseD 'Oh, so$$y, so$$y!'
" stood whe$e " was a 'o'ent longe$, getting 'y %$eath, then slipped into the %ath$oo' and
splashed cold wate$ on 'y face! " $e'e'%e$ seeing a %lue plastic whale in the %athtu% as " tu$ned to
ta#e a towel off the $ac#! " $e'e'%e$ thin#ing that it p$o%a%ly %lew %u%%les out of its spout*hole,
and " even $e'e'%e$ having a 'o'enta$y gli''e$ of an idea + a child$en's sto$y a%out a spouting
whale! (ould you call hi' (illieB Nah, too o%vious! (ilhel', now + that had a fine $ound $ing
to it, si'ultaneously g$and and a'using! (ilhel' the Spouting (hale!
" $e'e'%e$ the %ang of thunde$ f$o' ove$head! " $e'e'%e$ how happy " was, with the decision
finally 'ade and the night to loo# fo$wa$d to! " $e'e'%e$ the 'u$'u$ of 'en's voices and the
'u$'u$ of attie's $esponse as she told the' whe$e to put the stuff! Then " hea$d all of the' going
%ac# out again!
" loo#ed down at 'yself and saw a ce$tain lu'p was su%siding! " $e'e'%e$ thin#ing the$e was
nothing so a%su$d*loo#ing as a sexually excited 'an and #new "'d had this sa'e thought %efo$e,
pe$haps in a d$ea'! " left the %ath$oo', chec#ed on 1y$a again + $olled ove$ on he$ side, fast
asleep + and then went down the hall! " had &ust $eached the living $oo' when gunfi$e e$upted
outside! " neve$ confused the sound with thunde$! The$e was a 'o'ent when 'y 'ind fu'%led
towa$d the idea of %ac#fi$es + so'e #id's hot$od + and then " #new! 0a$t of 'e had %een
expecting so'ething to happen ! ! ! %ut it had %een expecting ghosts $athe$ than gunfi$e! A fatal
lapse!
"t was the $apid pah5 pah5 pah5 of an auto*fi$e weapon + a 5loc# nine*'illi'ete$, as it tu$ned
out! attie sc$ea'ed + a high, d$illing sc$ea' that f$o=e 'y %lood! " hea$d 6ohn c$y out in pain
and 5eo$ge 1ennedy %ellow, '2own, downC 9o$ the love of 3h$ist, get her down5'
So'ething hit the t$aile$ li#e a ha$d spatte$ of hail + a $attle of punching sounds $unning f$o'
west to east! So'ething split the ai$ in f$ont of 'y eyes + " hea$d it! The$e was an al'ost*'usical
sproing sound, li#e a snapping guita$ st$ing! On the #itchen ta%le, the salad %owl one of the' had
&ust %$ought in shatte$ed!
" $an fo$ the doo$ and nea$ly dived down the ce'ent*%loc# steps! " saw the %a$%ecue ove$tu$ned,
with the glowing coals al$eady setting patches of the scant f$ont*ya$d g$ass on fi$e! " saw Ro''ie
.issonette sitting with his legs outst$etched, loo#ing stupidly down at his an#le, which was soa#ed
with %lood! attie was on he$ hands and #nees %y the %a$%ecue with he$ hai$ hanging in he$ face +
it was as if she 'eant to sweep up the hot coals %efo$e they could cause so'e $eal t$ou%le! 6ohn
stagge$ed towa$d 'e, holding out a hand! The a$' a%ove it was soa#ed with %lood!
And " saw the ca$ "'d seen %efo$e + the nondesc$ipt sedan with the &o#e stic#e$ on it! "t had gone
up the $oad + the 'en inside 'a#ing that fi$st pass to chec# us out + then tu$ned a$ound and
co'e %ac#! The shoote$ was still leaning out the f$ont passenge$ window! " could see the stu%%y
s'o#ing weapon in his hands! "t had a wi$e stoc#! His featu$es we$e a %lue %lan# %$o#en only %y
huge gaping eyesoc#ets + a s#i*'as#!
Ove$head, thunde$ gave a long, awa#ening $oa$!
5eo$ge 1ennedy was wal#ing towa$d the ca$, not hu$$ying, #ic#ing hot spilled coals out of his
way as he went, not %othe$ing a%out the da$#*$ed stain that was sp$eading on the $ight thigh of his
pants, $eaching %ehind hi'self, not hu$$ying even when the shoote$ pulled %ac# in and shouted '5o
go goC' at the d$ive$, who was also wea$ing a %lue 'as#, 5eo$ge not hu$$ying, no, not hu$$ying a
%it, and even %efo$e " saw the pistol in his hand, " #new why he had neve$ ta#en off his a%su$d 0a
1ettle suit &ac#et, why he had even played 9$is%ee in it!
The %lue ca$ -it tu$ned out to %e a :;?J 9o$d $egiste$ed to $s! Sonia .elliveau of Au%u$n and
$epo$ted stolen the day %efo$e/ had pulled ove$ onto the shoulde$ and had neve$ $eally stopped
$olling! Now it accele$ated, spewing d$y %$own dust out f$o' unde$ its $ea$ ti$es, fishtailing,
#noc#ing attie's R92 %ox off its post and sending it flying into the $oad!
5eo$ge still didn't hu$$y! He %$ought his hands togethe$, holding his gun with his $ight and
steadying with his left! He s)uee=ed off five deli%e$ate shots! The fi$st two went into the t$un# + "
saw the holes appea$! The thi$d %lew in the %ac# window of the depa$ting 9o$d, and " hea$d
so'eone shout in pain! The fou$th went " don't #now whe$e! The fifth %lew the left $ea$ ti$e! The
9o$d vee$ed to that side! The d$ive$ al'ost %$ought it %ac#, then lost it co'pletely! The ca$
ploughed into the ditch thi$ty ya$ds %elow attie's t$aile$ and $olled ove$ on its side! The$e was a
whumpf5 and the $ea$ end was engulfed in fla'es! One of 5eo$ge's shots 'ust have hit the gas*tan#!
The shoote$ %egan st$uggling to get out th$ough the passenge$ window!
'1i ! ! ! get 1i ! ! ! away ! ! ! ' A hoa$se, whispe$ing voice!
attie was c$awling towa$d 'e! One side of he$ head + the $ight side + still loo#ed all $ight,
%ut the left side was a $uin! One da=ed %lue eye pee$ed out f$o' %etween clu'ps of %loody hai$!
S#ull*f$ag'ents litte$ed he$ tanned shoulde$ li#e %its of %$o#en c$oc#e$y! How " would love to tell
you " don't $e'e'%e$ any of this, how " would love to have so'eone else tell you that ichael
Noonan died %efo$e he saw that, %ut " cannot! Alas is the wo$d fo$ it in the c$osswo$d pu==les, a
fou$*lette$ wo$d 'eaning to exp$ess g$eat so$$ow!
'1i ! ! ! i#e, get 1i ! ! ! '
" #nelt and put 'y a$'s a$ound he$! She st$uggled against 'e! She was young and st$ong, and
even with the g$ay 'atte$ of he$ %$ain %ulging th$ough the %$o#en wall of he$ s#ull she st$uggled
against 'e, c$ying fo$ he$ daughte$, wanting to $each he$ and p$otect he$ and get he$ to safety!
'attie, it's all $ight,' " said! 2own at the 5$ace .aptist 3hu$ch, at the fa$ end of the =one " was
in, they we$e singing '.lessed Assu$ance' ! ! ! %ut 'ost of thei$ eyes we$e as %lan# as the eye now
pee$ing at 'e th$ough the tangle of %loody hai$! 'attie, stop, $est, it's all $ight!'
'1i ! ! ! get 1i ! ! ! don't let the' ! ! ! '
'They won't hu$t he$, attie, " p$o'ise!'
She slid against 'e, slippe$y as a fish, and sc$ea'ed he$ daughte$'s na'e, holding out he$ %loody
hands towa$d the t$aile$! The $ose*colo$ed sho$ts and top had gone %$ight $ed! .lood spatte$ed the
g$ass as she th$ashed and pulled! 9$o' down the hill the$e was a guttu$al explosion as the 9o$d's
gas*tan# exploded! .lac# s'o#e $ose towa$d a %lac# s#y! Thunde$ $oa$ed long and loud, as if the
s#y we$e saying ,ou want noise? ,eah? 1'll gi&e you noise!
'Say attie's all $ight, i#eC' 6ohn c$ied in a wave$ing voice! 'Oh fo$ 5od's sa#e say she's + '
He d$opped to his #nees %eside 'e, his eyes $olling up until nothing showed %ut the whites! He
$eached fo$ 'e, g$a%%ed 'y shoulde$, then to$e da'ned nea$ half 'y shi$t off as he lost his %attle
to stay conscious and fell on his side next to attie! A cu$d of white goo %u%%led f$o' one co$ne$
of his 'outh! Twelve feet away, nea$ the ove$tu$ned %a$%ecue, Ro''ie was t$ying to get on his
feet, his teeth clenched in pain! 5eo$ge was standing in the 'iddle of (asp Hill Road, $eloading
his gun f$o' a pouch he'd appa$ently had in his coat poc#et and watching as the shoote$ wo$#ed to
get clea$ of the ove$tu$ned ca$ %efo$e it was engulfed! The enti$e $ight leg of 5eo$ge's pants was $ed
now! .e may li&e but he'll ne&er wear that suit again' 1 thought(
" held attie! " put 'y face down to he$s, put 'y 'outh to the ea$ that was still the$e and saidD
'1y$a's o#ay! She's sleeping! She's fine, " p$o'ise!'
attie see'ed to unde$stand! She stopped st$aining against 'e and collapsed to the g$ass,
t$e'%ling all ove$! '1i ! ! ! 1i ! ! ! ' This was the last of he$ tal#ing on ea$th! One of he$ hands
$eached out %lindly, g$oped at a tuft of g$ass, and yan#ed it out!
'Ove$ he$e,' " hea$d 5eo$ge saying! '5et ove$ he$e, 'othe$fuc#, don't you even think a%out
tu$ning you$ %ac# on 'e!'
'How %ad is sheB' Ro''ie as#ed, ho%%ling ove$! His face was as white as pape$! And %efo$e "
could $eplyD 'Oh 6esus! Holy a$y othe$ of 5od, p$ay fo$ us sinne$s now and at the hou$ of ou$
death! .lessed %e the f$uit of thy wo'% 6esus! Oh a$y %o$n without sin, p$ay fo$ us who have
$ecou$se to Thee! Oh no, oh i#e, no!' He %egan again, this ti'e lapsing into 8ewiston st$eet*
9$ench, what the old fol#s call 8a 0a$le!
'Nuit it,' " said, and he did! "t was as if he had only %een waiting to %e told! '5o inside and chec#
on 1y$a! 3an youB'
',es!' He sta$ted towa$d the t$aile$, holding his leg and lu$ching along! (ith each lu$ch he gave a
high yip of pain, %ut so'ehow he #ept going! " could s'ell %u$ning tufts of g$ass! " could s'ell
elect$ic $ain on a $ising wind! And unde$ 'y hands " could feel the light spin of the d$eidel slowing
down as she went!
" tu$ned he$ ove$, held he$ in 'y a$'s, and $oc#ed he$ %ac# and fo$th! At 5$ace .aptist the
'iniste$ was now $eading 0sal' :G; fo$ RoyceD "f " say, Su$ely the da$#ness shall cove$ 'e, even
the night shall %e light! The 'iniste$ was $eading and the a$tians we$e listening! " $oc#ed he$ %ac#
and fo$th in 'y a$'s unde$ the %lac# thunde$heads! " was supposed to co'e to he$ that night, use
the #ey unde$ the pot and co'e to he$! She had danced with the toes of he$ white snea#e$s on the
$ed 9$is%ee, had danced li#e a wave on the ocean, and now she was dying in 'y a$'s while the
g$ass %u$ned in little clu'ps and the 'an who had fancied he$ as 'uch as " had lay unconscious
%eside he$, his $ight a$' painted $ed f$o' the sho$t sleeve of his (E ARE THE 3HA0"ONS tee*shi$t
all the way down to his %ony, f$ec#led w$ist!
'attie,' " said! 'attie, attie, attie!' " $oc#ed he$ and s'oothed 'y hand ac$oss he$ fo$ehead,
which on the $ight side was 'i$aculously unsplatte$ed %y the %lood that had d$enched he$! He$ hai$
fell ove$ the $uined left side of he$ face! 'attie,' " said! 'attie, attie, oh attie!'
8ightning flashed + the fi$st st$o#e " had seen! "t lit the weste$n s#y in a %$ight %lue a$c! attie
t$e'%led st$ongly in 'y a$'s + all the way f$o' nec# to toes she t$e'%led! He$ lips p$essed
togethe$! He$ %$ow fu$$owed, as if in concent$ation! He$ hand ca'e up and see'ed to g$a% fo$ the
%ac# of 'y nec#, as a pe$son falling f$o' a cliff 'ay g$asp %lindly at anything to hold on &ust a
little longe$! Then it fell away and lay li'ply on the g$ass, pal' up! She t$e'%led once 'o$e + the
whole delicate weight of he$ t$e'%led in 'y a$'s + and then she was still!
3HA0TER T(ENT,*S">
Afte$ that " was 'ostly in the =one! " ca'e out a few ti'es + when that sc$atched*out sc$ap of
genealogy fell f$o' inside one of 'y old steno %oo#s, fo$ instance + %ut those inte$ludes we$e
%$ief! "n a way it was li#e 'y d$ea' of attie, 6o, and Sa$a7 in a way it was li#e the te$$i%le feve$
"'d had as a child, when "'d al'ost died of the 'easles7 'ostly it was li#e nothing %ut itself! "t was
&ust the =one! " was feeling it! " wish to 5od " hadn't %een!
5eo$ge ca'e ove$, he$ding the 'an in the %lue 'as# ahead of hi'! 5eo$ge was li'ping now,
and %adly! " could s'ell hot oil and gasoline and %u$ning ti$es! '"s she deadB' 5eo$ge as#ed!
'attieB'
',es!'
'6ohnB'
'2on't #now,' " said, and then 6ohn twitched and g$oaned! He was alive, %ut the$e was a lot of
%lood!
'i#e, listen,' 5eo$ge %egan, %ut %efo$e he could say 'o$e, a te$$i%le li)uid sc$ea'ing %egan
f$o' the %u$ning ca$ in the ditch! "t was the d$ive$! He was coo#ing in the$e! The shoote$ sta$ted to
tu$n that way, and 5eo$ge $aised his gun! 'ove and "'ll #ill you!'
',ou can't let hi' die li#e that,' the shoote$ said f$o' %ehind his 'as#! ',ou couldn't let a dog die
li#e that!'
'He's dead al$eady,' 5eo$ge said! ',ou couldn't get within ten feet of that ca$ unless you we$e in
an as%estos suit!' He $eeled on his feet! His face was as white as the spot of whipped c$ea' "'d
wiped off the end of 1i's nose! The shoote$ 'ade as if to go fo$ hi' and 5eo$ge %$ought the gun up
highe$! 'The next ti'e you 'ove, don't stop,' 5eo$ge said, '%ecause " won't! 5ua$anteed! Now ta#e
that 'as# off!'
'No!'
'"'' done fuc#ing with you, 6esse! Say hello to 5od!' 5eo$ge pulled %ac# the ha''e$ of his
$evolve$!
The shoote$ said, '6esus 3h$ist,' and yan#ed off his 'as#! "t was 5eo$ge 9oot'an! Not 'uch
su$p$ise the$e! 9$o' %ehind hi', the d$ive$ gave one 'o$e sh$ie# f$o' within the 9o$d fi$e%all and
then was silent! S'o#e $ose in %lac# %illows! o$e thunde$ $oa$ed!
'i#e, go inside and find so'ething to tie hi' with,' 5eo$ge 1ennedy said! '" can hold hi'
anothe$ 'inute + two, if " have to + %ut "'' %leeding li#e a stuc# pig! 8oo# fo$ st$apping tape!
That shit would hold Houdini!'
9oot'an stood whe$e he was, loo#ing f$o' 1ennedy to 'e and %ac# to 1ennedy again! Then he
pee$ed down at Highway L?, which was ee$ily dese$ted! O$ pe$haps it wasn't so ee$ie, at that + the
co'ing sto$'s had %een well fo$ecast! The tou$ists and su''e$ fol# would %e unde$ cove$! As fo$
the locals ! ! !
The locals we$e ! ! ! so$t of listening! That was at least close! The 'iniste$ was spea#ing a%out
Royce e$$ill, a life which had %een long and f$uitful, a 'an who had se$ved his count$y in peace
and in wa$, %ut the old*ti'e$s we$en't listening to hi'! They we$e listening to us, the way they had
once gathe$ed a$ound the pic#le %a$$el at the 8a#eview 5ene$al and listened to p$i=efights on the
$adio!
.ill 2ean was holding ,vette's w$ist so tightly his finge$nails we$e white! He was hu$ting he$ ! ! !
%ut she wasn't co'plaining! She wanted hi' to hold onto he$! (hyB
'i#eC' 5eo$ge's voice was pe$cepti%ly wea#e$! '0lease, 'an, help 'e! This guy is dange$ous!'
'8et 'e go,' 9oot'an said! ',ou'd %ette$, don't you thin#B'
'"n you$ wettest d$ea's, 'othe$fuc#,' 5eo$ge said!
" got up, went past the pot with the #ey unde$neath, went up the ce'ent*%loc# steps! 8ightning
exploded ac$oss the s#y, followed %y a %ellow of thunde$!
"nside, Ro''ie was sitting in a chai$ at the #itchen ta%le! His face was even white$ than
5eo$ge's! '1id's o#ay,' he said, fo$cing the wo$ds! '.ut she loo#s li#e wa#ing up ! ! ! " can't wal#
any'o$e! y an#le's totally fuc#ed!'
" 'oved fo$ the telephone!
'2on't %othe$,' Ro''ie said! His voice was ha$sh and t$e'%ling! 'T$ied it! 2ead! Sto$' 'ust
al$eady have hit so'e of the othe$ towns! 1illed so'e of the e)uip'ent! 3h$ist, " neve$ had
anything hu$t li#e this in 'y life!'
" went to the d$awe$s in the #itchen and %egan yan#ing the' open one %y one, loo#ing fo$
st$apping tape, loo#ing fo$ clothesline, loo#ing fo$ any da'ned thing! "f 1ennedy passed out f$o'
%lood*loss while " was in he$e, the othe$ 5eo$ge would ta#e his gun, #ill hi', and then #ill 6ohn as
he lay unconscious on the s'olde$ing g$ass! (ith the' ta#en ca$e of, he'd co'e in he$e and shoot
Ro''ie and 'e! He'd finish with 1y$a!
'No he won't,' " said! 'He'll leave he$ alive!'
And that 'ight %e even wo$se!
Silve$wa$e in the fi$st d$awe$! Sandwich %ags, ga$%age %ags, and neatly %anded stac#s of
g$oce$y*sto$e coupons in the second! Oven 'itts and potholde$s in the thi$d +
'i#e, whe$e's 'y attieB'
" tu$ned, as guilty as a 'an who has %een caught 'ixing illegal d$ugs! 1y$a stood at the living*
$oo' end of the hall with he$ hai$ falling a$ound he$ sleep*flushed chee#s and he$ sc$unchy hung
ove$ one w$ist li#e a %$acelet! He$ eyes we$e wide and panic#y! "t wasn't the shots that had
awa#ened he$, p$o%a%ly not even he$ 'othe$'s sc$ea'! " had wa#ened he$! y thoughts had
wa#ened he$!
"n the instant " $eali=ed it " t$ied to shield the' so'ehow, %ut " was too late! She had $ead 'e
a%out 2evo$e well enough to tell 'e not to thin# a%out sad stuff, and now she $ead what had
happened to he$ 'othe$ %efo$e " could #eep he$ out of 'y 'ind!
He$ 'outh d$opped open! He$ eyes widened! She sh$ie#ed as if he$ hand had %een caught in a
vise and $an fo$ the doo$!
'No, 1y$a, noC' " sp$inted ac$oss the #itchen, al'ost t$ipping ove$ Ro''ie -he loo#ed at 'e with
the di' inco'p$ehension of so'eone who is no longe$ co'pletely conscious/, and g$a%%ed he$ &ust
in ti'e! As " did, " saw .uddy 6ellison leaving 5$ace .aptist %y a side doo$! Two of the 'en he had
%een s'o#ing with went with hi'! Now " unde$stood why .ill was holding so tightly to ,vette,
and loved hi' fo$ it + loved %oth of the'! So'ething wanted hi' to go with .uddy and the othe$s
! ! ! %ut .ill wasn't going!
1y$a st$uggled in 'y a$'s, 'a#ing %ig convulsive th$usts at the doo$, gasping in %$eath and then
sc$ea'ing it out again! '%et me go' want to see #ommy' let me go' want to see #ommy' let me go
3 '
" called he$ na'e with the only voice " #new she would $eally hea$, the one " could use only with
he$! She $elaxed in 'y a$'s little %y little, and tu$ned to 'e! He$ eyes we$e huge and confused and
shining with tea$s! She loo#ed at 'e a 'o'ent longe$ and then see'ed to unde$stand that she
'ustn't go out! " put he$ down! She &ust stood the$e a 'o'ent, then %ac#ed up until he$ %otto' was
against the dishwashe$! She slid down its s'ooth white f$ont to the floo$! Then she %egan to wail +
the 'ost awful sounds of g$ief " have eve$ hea$d! She unde$stood co'pletely, you see! " had to
show he$ enough to #eep he$ inside, " had to ! ! ! and %ecause we we$e in the =one togethe$, " could!
.uddy and his f$iends we$e in a pic#up t$uc# headed this way! .A 3ONSTRU3T"ON, it said on
the side!
'i#eC' 5eo$ge c$ied! He sounded panic#y! ',ou got to hu$$yC'
'Hold onC' " called %ac#! 'Hold on, 5eo$geC'
attie and the othe$s had sta$ted stac#ing picnic things %eside the sin#, %ut "'' al'ost positive
that the st$etch of 9o$'ica counte$ a%ove the d$awe$s had %een clean and %a$e when " hu$$ied afte$
1y$a! Not now! The yellow suga$ canniste$ had %een ove$tu$ned! ($itten in the spilled suga$ was
thisD
'No shit,' " 'utte$ed, and chec#ed the $e'aining d$awe$s! No tape, no $ope! Not even a lousy set
of handcuffs, and in 'ost well*e)uipped #itchens you can count on finding th$ee o$ fou$! Then "
had an idea and loo#ed in the ca%inet unde$ the sin#! (hen " went %ac# out, ou$ 5eo$ge was
swaying on his feet and 9oot'an was loo#ing at hi' with a #ind of p$edato$y concent$ation!
'2id you get so'e tapeB' 5eo$ge 1ennedy as#ed!
'No, so'ething %ette$,' " said! 'Tell 'e, 9oot'an, who actually paid youB 2evo$e o$ (hit'o$eB
O$ don't you #nowB'
'9uc# you,' he said!
" had 'y $ight hand %ehind 'y %ac#! Now " pointed down the hill with 'y left one and
endeavo$ed to loo# su$p$ised! '(hat the hell's Osgood doingB Tell hi' to go awayC'
9oot'an loo#ed in that di$ection + it was instinctive + and " hit hi' in the %ac# of the head
with the 3$afts'an ha''e$ "'d found in the tool%ox unde$ attie's sin#! The sound was ho$$i%le,
the sp$ay of %lood e$upting f$o' the flying hai$ was ho$$i%le, %ut wo$st of all was the feeling of the
s#ull giving way + a spongy collapse that ca'e $ight up the handle and into 'y finge$s! He went
down li#e a sand%ag, and " d$opped the ha''e$, gagging!
'O#ay,' 5eo$ge said! 'A little ugly, %ut p$o%a%ly the %est thing you could have done unde$ ! ! !
unde$ the ! ! ! '
He didn't go down li#e 9oot'an + it was slowe$ and 'o$e cont$olled, al'ost g$aceful + %ut he
was &ust as out! " pic#ed up the $evolve$, loo#ed at it, then th$ew it into the woods ac$oss the $oad!
A gun was nothing fo$ 'e to have $ight now7 it could only get 'e into 'o$e t$ou%le!
A couple of othe$ 'en had also left the chu$ch7 a ca$ful of ladies in %lac# d$esses and veils, as
well! " had to hu$$y on even faste$! " un%uc#led 5eo$ge's pants and pulled the' down! The %ullet
which had ta#en hi' in the leg had to$n into his thigh, %ut the wound loo#ed as if it was clotting!
6ohn's uppe$ a$' was a diffe$ent sto$y + it was still pu'ping out %lood in f$ightening )uantities! "
yan#ed his %elt f$ee and cinched it a$ound his a$' as tightly as " could! Then " slapped hi' ac$oss
the face! His eyes opened and sta$ed at 'e with a %lea$y lac# of $ecognition!
'Open you$ 'outh, 6ohnC' He only sta$ed at 'e! " leaned down until ou$ noses we$e al'ost
touching and sc$ea'ed, '264N ,2;R #2;".5 D2 1" N2W5' He opened it li#e a #id when the
nu$se tells hi' &ust say aahh! " stuc# the end of the %elt %etween his teeth! '3loseC' He closed! 'Now
hold it,' " said! 'Even if you pass out, hold it!'
" didn't have ti'e to see if he was paying attention! " got to 'y feet and loo#ed up as the whole
wo$ld went gla$e*%lue! 9o$ a second it was li#e %eing inside a neon sign! The$e was a %lac#
suspended $ive$ up the$e, $oiling and coiling li#e a %as#et of sna#es! " had neve$ seen such a %aleful
s#y!
" dashed up the ce'ent*%loc# steps and into the t$aile$ again! Ro'*'ie had slu'ped fo$wa$d
onto the ta%le with his face in his folded a$'s! He would have loo#ed li#e a #inde$ga$tne$ ta#ing a
ti'eout if not fo$ the %$o#en salad %owl and the %its of lettuce in his hai$! 1y$a still sat with he$
%ac# to the dishwashe$, weeping hyste$ically!
" pic#ed he$ up and $eali=ed that she had wet he$self! '(e have to go now, 1i!'
'" want attieC " want o''yC 1 want my #attie' make her stop being hurt5 #ake her stop
being dead5'
" hu$$ied ac$oss the t$aile$! On the way to the doo$ " passed the end*ta%le with the a$y Higgins
3la$# novel on it! " noticed the tangle of hai$ $i%%ons again + $i%%ons pe$haps t$ied on %efo$e the
pa$ty and then disca$ded in favo$ of the sc$unchy! They we$e white with %$ight $ed edges! 0$etty! "
pic#ed the' up without stopping, stuffed the' into a pants poc#et, then switched 1i to 'y othe$
a$'!
'" want attieC " want o''yC #ake her come back5' She swatted at 'e, t$ying to 'a#e 'e
stop, then %egan to %uc# and #ic# in 'y a$'s again! She d$u''ed he$ fists on the side of 'y head!
'0ut 'e downC 8and 'eC 8and 'eC'
'No, 1y$a!'
'6ut me down5 %and me5 %and me5 6;" #4 D2WN5'
" was losing he$! Then, as we ca'e out onto the top step, she a%$uptly stopped st$uggling! '5ive
'e St$ic#enC " want St$ic#enC'
At fi$st " had no idea what she was tal#ing a%out, %ut when " loo#ed whe$e she was pointing "
unde$stood! 8ying on the wal# not fa$ f$o' the pot with the #ey unde$neath it was the stuffed toy
f$o' 1i's Happy eal! St$ic#land had put in a fai$ a'ount of outside playti'e f$o' the loo# of hi'
+ the light*g$ay fu$ was now da$#*g$ay with dust + %ut if the toy would cal' he$, " wanted he$ to
have it! This was no ti'e to wo$$y a%out di$t and ge$'s!
'"'ll give you St$ic#land if you p$o'ise to close you$ eyes and not open the' until " tell you! (ill
you p$o'iseB'
'" p$o'ise,' she said! She was t$e'%ling in 'y a$'s, and g$eat glo%ula$ tea$s + the #ind you
expect to see in fai$y*tale %oo#s, neve$ in $eal life + $ose in he$ eyes and went spilling down he$
chee#s! " could s'ell %u$ning g$ass and cha$$ed %eefstea#! 9o$ one te$$i%le 'o'ent " thought " was
going to vo'it, and then " got it unde$ cont$ol!
1i closed he$ eyes! Two 'o$e tea$s fell f$o' the' and onto 'y a$'! They we$e hot! She held out
one hand, g$oping! " went down the steps, got the dog, then hesitated! 9i$st the $i%%ons, now the
dog! The $i%%ons we$e p$o%a%ly o#ay, %ut it see'ed w$ong to give he$ the dog and let he$ %$ing it
along! "t see'ed w$ong %ut ! ! !
1t's gray' 1rish, the U9O voice whispe$ed! ,ou don't need to worry about it because it's gray( "he
stuffed toy in your dream was black!
" didn't #now exactly what the voice was tal#ing a%out and had no ti'e to ca$e! " put the stuffed
dog in 1y$a's open hand! She held it up to he$ face and #issed the dusty fu$, he$ eyes still closed!
'ay%e St$ic#en can 'a#e o''y %ette$, i#e! St$ic#en a 'agic dog!'
'6ust #eep you$ eyes closed! 2on't open the' until " say!'
She put he$ face against 'y nec#! " ca$$ied he$ ac$oss the ya$d and to 'y ca$ that way! " put he$
on the passenge$ side of the f$ont seat! She lay down with he$ a$'s ove$ he$ head and the di$ty
stuffed dog clutched in one pudgy hand! " told he$ to stay &ust li#e that, lying down on the seat! She
'ade no outwa$d sign that she hea$d 'e, %ut " #new that she did!
(e had to hu$$y %ecause the old*ti'e$s we$e co'ing! The old*ti'e$s wanted this %usiness ove$,
wanted this $ive$ to $un into the sea! And the$e was only one place we could go, only one place
whe$e we 'ight %e safe, and that was Sa$a 8aughs! .ut the$e was so'ething " had to do fi$st!
" #ept a %lan#et in the t$un#, old %ut clean! " too# it out, wal#ed ac$oss the ya$d, and shoo# it
down ove$ attie 2evo$e! The hu'p it 'ade as it settled a$ound he$ was pitifully slight! " loo#ed
a$ound and saw 6ohn sta$ing at 'e! His eyes we$e glassy with shoc#, %ut " thought 'ay%e he was
co'ing %ac#! The %elt was still cla'ped in his teeth7 he loo#ed li#e a &un#ie p$epa$ing to shoot up!
'"ss ant eee,' he said + "his can't be! " #new exactly how he felt!
'The$e'll %e help he$e in &ust a few 'inutes! Hang in the$e! " have to go!'
'5o ai$B'
" didn't answe$! The$e wasn't ti'e! " stopped and too# 5eo$ge 1ennedy's pulse! Slow %ut st$ong!
.eside hi', 9oot'an was deep in unconsciousness, %ut 'utte$ing thic#ly! Nowhe$e nea$ dead! "t
ta#es a lot to #ill a daddy! The &e$#y wind %lew the s'o#e f$o' the ove$tu$ned ca$ in 'y di$ection,
and now " could s'ell coo#ing flesh as well as %a$%ecued stea#! y sto'ach clenched again!
" $an to the 3hevy, d$opped %ehind the wheel, and %ac#ed out of the d$iveway! " too# one 'o$e
loo# + at the %lan#et*cove$ed %ody, at the th$ee #noc#ed*ove$ 'en, at the t$aile$ with the line of
%lac# %ulletholes wave$ing down its side and its doo$ standing open! 6ohn was up on his good
el%ow, the end of the %elt still cla'ped in his teeth, loo#ing at 'e with unco'p$ehending eyes!
8ightning flashed so %$illiantly " t$ied to shield 'y eyes f$o' it, although %y the ti'e 'y hand was
up, the flash had gone and the day was as da$# as late dus#!
'Stay down, 1i,' " said! '6ust li#e you a$e!'
'" can't hea$ you,' she said in a voice so hoa$se and cho#ed with tea$s that " could %a$ely 'a#e out
the wo$ds! '1i's ta#in a nap wif St$ic#en!'
'O#ay,' " said! '5ood!'
" d$ove past the %u$ning 9o$d and down to the foot of the hill, whe$e " stopped at the $usty %ullet*
poc#ed stop*sign! " loo#ed $ight and saw the pic#up t$uc# pa$#ed on the shoulde$! .A
3ONSTRU3T"ON on the side! Th$ee 'en c$owded togethe$ in the ca%, watching 'e! The one %y the
passenge$ window was .uddy 6ellison7 " could tell hi' %y his hat! 4e$y slowly and deli%e$ately, "
$aised 'y $ight hand and gave the' the finge$! None of the' $esponded and thei$ stony faces didn't
change, %ut the pic#up %egan to $oll slowly towa$d 'e!
" tu$ned lift onto L?, heading fo$ Sa$a 8aughs unde$ a %lac# s#y!
Two 'iles f$o' whe$e 8ane 9o$ty*two %$anches off the highway and winds west to the la#e, the$e
stood an old a%andoned %a$n upon which one could still 'a#e out faded lette$s $eading 2ON3ASTER
2A"R,! As we app$oached it, the whole easte$n side of the s#y lit up in a pu$ple*white %liste$! "
c$ied out, and the 3hevy's ho$n hon#ed + %y itself, "'' al'ost positive! A tho$n of lightning g$ew
f$o' the %otto' of that light*%liste$ and st$uc# the %a$n! 9o$ a 'o'ent it was still co'pletely the$e,
glowing li#e so'ething $adioactive, and then it spewed itself in all di$ections! " have neve$ seen
anything even $e'otely li#e it outside of a 'ovie theate$! The thunde$clap which followed was li#e
a %o'%shell! 1y$a sc$ea'ed and slid onto the floo$ on the passenge$ side of the ca$ with he$ hands
clapped to he$ ea$s! She still clutched the little stuffed dog in one of the'!
A 'inute late$ " topped Suga$ Ridge! 8ane 9o$ty*two splits left f$o' the highway at the %otto'
of the $idge's no$th slope! 9$o' the top " could see a wide swath of TR*;A + woods and fields and
%a$ns and fa$'s, even a da$#ling glea' f$o' the la#e! The s#y was as %lac# as coal dust, flashing
al'ost constantly with inte$nal lightnings! The ai$ had a clea$ och$e glow! Eve$y %$eath " too#
tasted li#e the shavings in a tinde$%ox! The topog$aphy %eyond the $idge stood out with a su$$eal
cla$ity " cannot fo$get! That sense of 'yste$y swa$'ed 'y hea$t and 'ind, that sense of the wo$ld
as thin s#in ove$ un#nowa%le %ones and gulfs!
" glanced into the $ea$view 'i$$o$ and saw that the pic#up t$uc# had %een &oined %y two othe$
ca$s, one with a 4*plate that 'eans the vehicle is $egiste$ed to a co'%at vete$an of the a$'ed
se$vices! (hen " slowed down, they slowed down! (hen " sped up, they sped up! " dou%ted they
would follow us any fa$the$ once " tu$ned onto 8ane 9o$ty*two, howeve$!
'1iB A$e you o#ayB'
'Sleepun,' she said f$o' the footwell!
'O#ay,' " said, and sta$ted down the hill!
" could &ust see the $ed %icycle $eflecto$s 'a$#ing 'y tu$n onto 9o$ty*two when it %egan to hail
+ g$eat %ig chun#s of white ice that fell out of the s#y, d$u''ed on the $oof li#e heavy finge$s,
and %ounced off the hood! They %egan to heap in the gutte$ whe$e 'y windshield wipe$s hid!
'(hat's happeningB' 1y$a c$ied!
'"t's &ust hail,' " said! '"t can't hu$t us!' This was %a$ely out of 'y 'outh when a hailstone the si=e
of a s'all le'on st$uc# 'y side of the windshield and then %ounced high into the ai$ again, leaving
a white "" 'a$# f$o' which a nu'%e$ of sho$t c$ac#s $adiated! (e$e 6ohn and 5eo$ge 1ennedy
lying helpless out in thisB " tu$ned 'y 'ind in that di$ection, %ut could sense nothing!
(hen " 'ade the left onto 8ane 9o$ty*two, it was hailing al'ost too ha$d to see! The wheel$uts
we$e heaped with ice! The white faded out unde$ the t$ees, though! " headed fo$ that cove$, flipping
on 'y headlights as " went! They cut %$ight cones th$ough the pelting hail!
As we went into the t$ees, that pu$ple*white %liste$ glowed again, and 'y $ea$view 'i$$o$ went
too %$ight to loo# at! The$e was a $ending, c$ac#ling c$ash! 1y$a sc$ea'ed again! " loo#ed a$ound
and saw a huge old sp$uce toppling slowly ac$oss the lane, its $agged stu'p on fi$e! "t ca$$ied the
elect$ical lines with it!
Blocked in, " thought! "his end' probably the other end' too( We're here( /or better or for worse'
we're here(
The t$ees g$ew ove$ 8ane 9o$ty*two in a canopy except fo$ whe$e the $oad passed %eside
Tidwell's eadow! The sound of the hail in the woods was an i''ense splinte$y $attle! T$ees were
splinte$ing, of cou$se7 it was the 'ost da'aging hail eve$ to fall in that pa$t of the wo$ld, and
although it spent itself in fifteen 'inutes, that was long enough to $uin a season's wo$th of c$ops!
8ightning flashed a%ove us! " loo#ed up and saw a la$ge o$ange fi$e%all %eing chased %y a
s'alle$ one! They $an th$ough the t$ees to ou$ left, setting fi$e to so'e of the high %$anches! (e
ca'e %$iefly into the clea$ at Tidwell's eadow, and as we did the hail changed to to$$ential $ain! "
could not have continued d$iving if we hadn't $un %ac# into the woods al'ost i''ediately, and as
it was the canopy p$ovided &ust enough cove$ so " could c$eep along, hunched ove$ the wheel and
pee$ing into the silve$ cu$tain falling th$ough the fan of 'y headlights! Thunde$ %oo'ed constantly,
and now the wind %egan to $ise, $ushing th$ough the t$ees li#e a contentious voice! Ahead of 'e, a
leaf*heavy %$anch d$opped into the $oad! " $an ove$ it and listened to it thun# and sc$ape and $oll
against the 3hevy's unde$ca$$iage!
6lease' nothing bigger, " thought ! ! ! o$ 'ay%e " was p$aying! 6lease let me get to the house(
6lease let us get to the house(
.y the ti'e " $eached the d$iveway the wind was howling a hu$$icane! The w$ithing t$ees and
pelting $ain 'ade the enti$e wo$ld see' on the ve$ge of wave$ing into insu%stantial g$uel! The
d$iveway's slope had tu$ned into a $ive$, %ut " nosed the 3hevy down it with no hesitation + we
couldn't stay out he$e7 if a %ig t$ee fell on the ca$, we'd %e c$ushed li#e %ugs in a 2ixie cup!
" #new %ette$ than to use the %$a#es + the ca$ would have heeled sideways and pe$haps have
%een swept $ight down the slope towa$d the la#e, $olling ove$ and ove$ as it went! "nstead " d$opped
the t$ans'ission into low $ange, toed two notches into the e'e$gency %$a#e, and let the engine pull
us down with the $ain sheeting against the windshield and tu$ning the log %ul# of the house into a
phanto'! "nc$edi%ly, so'e of the lights we$e still on, shining li#e %athysphe$e po$tholes in nine feet
of wate$! The gene$ato$ was wo$#ing, then ! ! ! at least fo$ the ti'e %eing!
8ightning th$ew a lance ac$oss the la#e, g$een*%lue fi$e illu'inating a %lac# well of wate$ with
its su$face lashed into su$ging whitecaps! One of the hund$ed*yea$*old pines which had stood to the
left of the $ail$oad*tie steps now lay with half its length in the wate$! So'ewhe$e %ehind us anothe$
t$ee went ove$ with a vast c$ash! 1y$a cove$ed he$ ea$s!
'"t's all $ight, honey,' " said! '(e'$e he$e, we 'ade it!'
" tu$ned off the engine and #illed the lights! (ithout the' " could see little7 al'ost all the day
had gone out of the day! " t$ied to open 'y doo$ and at fi$st couldn't! " pushed ha$de$ and it not only
opened, it was $ipped $ight out of 'y hand! " got out and in a %$illiant st$o#e of lightning saw 1y$a
c$awling ac$oss the seat towa$d 'e, he$ face white with panic, he$ eyes huge and %$i''ing with
te$$o$! y doo$ swung %ac# and hit 'e in the ass ha$d enough to hu$t! " igno$ed it, gathe$ed 1i into
'y a$'s, and tu$ned with he$! 3old $ain d$enched us %oth in an instant! Except it $eally wasn't li#e
$ain at all7 it was li#e stepping unde$ a wate$fall!
'y doggyC' 1i sh$ie#ed! Sh$ie# o$ not, " could ha$dly hea$ he$! " could see he$ face, though, and
he$ e'pty hands! 'St$ic#enC " d$op St$ic#enC'
" loo#ed a$ound and yes, the$e he was, floating down the 'acada' of the d$iveway and past the
stoop! A little fa$the$ on, the $ushing wate$ spilled off the paving and down the slope7 if St$ic#land
went with the flow, he'd p$o%a%ly end up in the woods so'ewhe$e! O$ all the way down to the la#e!
'St$ic#enC' 1i so%%ed! 'y D2--,5'
Suddenly nothing 'atte$ed to eithe$ of us %ut that stupid stuffed toy! " chased down the d$iveway
afte$ it with 1i in 'y a$'s, o%livious of the $ain and wind and %$illiant flashes of lightning! And yet
it was going to %eat 'e to the slope + the wate$ in which it was caught was $unning too fast fo$ 'e
to catch up!
(hat snagged it at the edge of the paving was a t$io of sunflowe$s waving wildly in the wind!
They loo#ed li#e 5od*t$anspo$ted wo$shippe$s at a $evival 'eetingD ,es' 0eesus5 "hankya %awd5
They also loo#ed fa'ilia$! "t was of cou$se i'possi%le that they should %e the sa'e th$ee
sunflowe$s which had %een g$owing up th$ough the %oa$ds of the stoop in 'y d$ea' -and in the
photog$aph .ill 2ean had ta#en %efo$e " ca'e %ac#/, and yet it was the'7 %eyond dou%t it was
the'! Th$ee sunflowe$s li#e the th$ee wei$d siste$s in #acbeth, th$ee sunflowe$s with faces li#e
sea$chlights! " had co'e %ac# to Sa$a 8aughs7 " was in the =one7 " had $etu$ned to 'y d$ea' and
this ti'e it had possessed 'e!
'St$ic#enC' 1i %ending and th$ashing in 'y a$'s, %oth of us too slippe$y fo$ safety! '0lease, i#e,
please5'
Thunde$ exploded ove$head li#e a %as#et of nit$o! (e %oth sc$ea'ed! " d$opped to one #nee and
snatched up the little stuffed dog! 1y$a clutched it, cove$ed it with f$antic #isses! " lu$ched to 'y
feet as anothe$ thunde$clap sounded, this one see'ing to $un th$ough the ai$ li#e so'e c$a=y li)uid
%ullwhip! " loo#ed at the sunflowe$s, and they see'ed to loo# %ac# at 'e + .ello' 1rish' it's been a
long time' what do you say? Then, $esettling 1i in 'y a$'s as well as " could, " tu$ned and slogged
fo$ the house! "t wasn't easy7 the wate$ in the d$iveway was now an#le*deep and full of 'elting
hailstones! A %$anch flew past us and landed p$etty 'uch whe$e "'d #nelt to pic# up St$ic#land!
The$e was a c$ash and a se$ies of thuds as a %igge$ %$anch st$uc# the $oof and went $olling down it!
" $an onto the %ac# stoop, half*expecting the Shape to co'e $ushing out to g$eet us, $aising its
%aggy not*a$'s in g$ueso'e good fellowship, %ut the$e was no Shape! The$e was only the sto$',
and that was enough!
1i was clutching the dog tightly, and " saw with no su$p$ise at all that its wetting, co'%ined with
the di$t f$o' all those hou$s of outside play, had tu$ned St$ic#land %lac#! "t was what " had seen in
'y d$ea' afte$ all!
Too late now! The$e was nowhe$e else to go, no othe$ shelte$ f$o' the sto$'! " opened the doo$
and %$ought 1y$a 2evo$e inside Sa$a 8aughs!
The cent$al po$tion of Sa$a + the hea$t of the house + had stood fo$ al'ost a hund$ed yea$s and
had seen its sha$e of sto$'s! The one that fell on the la#es $egion that 6uly afte$noon 'ight have
%een the wo$st of the', %ut " #new as soon as we we$e inside, %oth of us gasping li#e people who
have na$$owly escaped d$owning, that it would al'ost ce$tainly withstand this one as well! The log
walls we$e so thic# it was al'ost li#e stepping into so'e so$t of vault! The sto$''s c$ash and %ash
%eca'e a noisy d$one punctuated %y thunde$claps and the occasional loud thud of a %$anch falling
on the $oof! So'ewhe$e + in the %ase'ent, " guess + a doo$ had co'e loose and was clapping
%ac# and fo$th! "t sounded li#e a sta$te$'s pistol! The #itchen window had %een %$o#en %y the topple
of a s'all t$ee! "ts needly tip po#ed in ove$ the stove, 'a#ing shadows on the counte$ and the
stove*%u$ne$s as it swayed! " thought of %$ea#ing it off and decided not to! At least it was plugging
the hole!
" ca$$ied 1i into the living $oo' and we loo#ed out at the la#e, %lac# wate$ p$in#ed up in su$$eal
points unde$ a %lac# s#y! 8ightning flashed al'ost constantly, $evealing a $ing of woods that
danced and swayed in a f$en=y all a$ound the la#e! As solid as the house was, it was g$oaning
deeply within itself as the wind pu''elled it and t$ied to push it down the hill!
The$e was a soft, steady chi'ing! 1y$a lifted he$ head f$o' 'y shoulde$ and loo#ed a$ound!
',ou have a 'oose,' she said!
',es, that's .unte$!'
'2oes he %iteB'
'No, honey, he can't %ite! He's li#e a ! ! ! li#e a doll, " suppose!'
'(hy is his %ell $ingingB'
'He's glad we'$e he$e! He's glad we 'ade it!'
" saw he$ want to %e happy, and then " saw he$ $eali=ing that attie wasn't he$e to %e happy with!
" saw the idea that attie would neve$ %e he$e to %e happy with gli''e$ in he$ 'ind ! ! ! and felt
he$ push it away! Ove$ ou$ heads so'ething huge c$ashed down on the $oof, the lights flic#e$ed,
and 1i %egan to weep again!
'No, honey,' " said, and %egan to wal# with he$! 'No, honey, no, 1i, don't! 2on't, honey, don't!'
'" want 'y 'o''yC 1 want my #attie5'
" wal#ed he$ the way " thin# you'$e supposed to wal# %a%ies who have colic! She unde$stood too
'uch fo$ a th$ee*yea$*old, and he$ suffe$ing was conse)uently 'o$e te$$i%le than any th$ee*yea$*old
should have to %ea$! So " held he$ in 'y a$'s and wal#ed he$, he$ sho$ts da'p with u$ine and
$ainwate$ unde$ 'y hands, he$ a$'s feve$*hot a$ound 'y nec#, he$ chee#s slathe$ed with snot and
tea$s, he$ hai$ a soa#ed clu'p f$o' ou$ %$ief dash th$ough the downpou$, he$ %$eath acetone, he$
toy a st$angulated %lac# clu'p that sent di$ty wate$ t$ic#ling ove$ he$ #nuc#les! " wal#ed he$! .ac#
and fo$th we went th$ough Sa$a's living $oo', %ac# and fo$th th$ough di' light th$own %y the
ove$head and one la'p! 5ene$ato$ light is neve$ )uite steady, neve$ )uite still + it see's to
%$eathe and sigh! .ac# and fo$th th$ough the ceaseless low chi'ing of .unte$'s %ell, li#e 'usic
f$o' that wo$ld we so'eti'es touch %ut neve$ $eally see! .ac# and fo$th %eneath the sound of the
sto$'! " thin# " sang to he$ and " #now " touched he$ with 'y 'ind and we went deepe$ and deepe$
into that =one togethe$! A%ove us the clouds $an and the $ain pelted, dousing the fi$es the lightning
had sta$ted in the woods! The house g$oaned and the ai$ eddied with gusts co'ing in th$ough the
%$o#en #itchen window, %ut th$ough it all the$e was a feeling of $ueful safety! A feeling of co'ing
ho'e!
At last he$ tea$s %egan to tape$ off! She lay with he$ chee# and the weight of he$ heavy head on
'y shoulde$, and when we passed the la#eside windows " could see he$ eyes loo#ing out into the
silve$*da$# sto$', wide and un%lin#ing! 3a$$ying he$ was a tall 'an with thinning hai$! " $eali=ed "
could see the dining*$oo' ta%le $ight th$ough us! 2ur reflections are ghosts already, " thought!
'1iB 3an you eat so'ethingB'
'Not hung'y!'
'3an you d$in# a glass of 'il#B'
'No, cocoa! " cold!'
',es, of cou$se you a$e! And " have cocoa!'
" t$ied to put he$ down and she held on with panic#y tightness, sc$a'%ling against 'e with he$
plu'p little thighs! " hoisted he$ %ac# up again, this ti'e settling he$ against 'y hip, and she
su%sided!
'(ho's he$eB' she as#ed! She had %egun to shive$! '(ho's he$e 'sides usB'
'" don't #now!'
'The$e's a %oy,' she said! '" saw hi' the$e!' She pointed St$ic#land towa$d the sliding glass doo$
which gave on the dec# -all the chai$s out the$e had %een ove$tu$ned and th$own into the co$ne$s7
one of the set was 'issing, appa$ently %lown $ight ove$ the $ail/! 'He was %lac# li#e on that funny
show 'e and attie watch! The$e a$e othe$ %lac# people, too! A lady in a %ig hat! A 'an in %lue
pants! The $est a$e ha$d to see! .ut they watch! They watch us! 2on't you see the'B'
'They can't hu$t us!'
'A$e you su$eB A$e you, a$e youB'
" didn't answe$!
" found a %ox of Swiss iss hiding %ehind the flou$ canniste$, to$e open one of the pac#ets, and
du'ped it into a cup! Thunde$ exploded ove$head! 1i &u'ped in 'y a$'s and let out a long,
'ise$a%le wail! " hugged he$, #issed he$ chee#!
'2on't put 'e down, i#e, " sca$ed!'
'" won't put you down! ,ou'$e 'y good gi$l!'
'" sca$ed of the %oy and the %lue*pants 'an and the lady! " thin# it's the lady who wo$e attie's
d$ess! A$e they ghostiesB'
',es!'
'A$e they %ad, li#e the 'en who chased us at the fai$B A$e theyB'
'" don't $eally #now, 1i, and that's the t$uth!'
'.ut we'll find out!'
'HuhB'
'That's what you thought! K.ut we'll find out! K'
',es,' " said! '" guess that's what " was thin#ing! So'ething li#e that!'
" too# he$ down to the 'aste$ %ed$oo' while the wate$ heated in the #ettle, thin#ing the$e had to %e
something left of 6o's " could pop he$ into, %ut all of the d$awe$s in 6o's %u$eau we$e e'pty! So was
he$ side of the closet! " stood 1i on the %ig dou%le %ed whe$e " had not so 'uch as ta#en a nap since
co'ing %ac#, too# off he$ clothes, ca$$ied he$ into the %ath$oo', and w$apped he$ in a %athtowel!
She hugged it a$ound he$self, sha#ing and %lue*lipped! " used anothe$ one to d$y he$ hai$ as %est "
could! 2u$ing all of this, she neve$ let go of the stuffed dog, which was now %eginning to %leed
stuffing f$o' its sea's!
" opened the 'edicine ca%inet, pawed th$ough it, and found what " was loo#ing fo$ on the top
shelfD the .enad$yl 6o had #ept a$ound fo$ he$ $agweed alle$gy! " thought of chec#ing the expi$ation
date on the %otto' of the %ox, then al'ost laughed out loud! (hat diffe$ence did that 'a#eB "
stood 1i on the closed toilet seat and let he$ hold on a$ound 'y nec# while " st$ipped the childp$oof
%ac#ing f$o' fou$ of the little pin#*and*white caplets! Then " $insed out the tooth*glass and filled it
with cold wate$! (hile " was doing this " saw 'ove'ent in the %ath$oo' 'i$$o$, which $eflected
the doo$way and the 'aste$ %ed$oo' %eyond! " told 'yself that " was only seeing the shadows of
wind%lown t$ees! " offe$ed the caplets to 1i! She $eached fo$ the', then hesitated!
'5o on,' " said! '"t's 'edicine!'
'(hat #indB' she as#ed! He$ s'all hand was still poised ove$ the little cluste$ of caplets!
'Sadness 'edicine,' " said! '3an you swallow pills, 1iB'
'Su$e! " taught 'yself when " was two!'
She hesitated a 'o'ent longe$ + loo#ing at 'e and loo#ing into 'e, " thin#, asce$taining that "
was telling he$ so'ething " $eally %elieved! (hat she saw o$ felt 'ust have satisfied he$, %ecause
she too# the caplets and put the' in he$ 'outh, one afte$ anothe$! She swallowed the' with little
%i$die*sips f$o' the glass, then saidD '" still feel sad, i#e!'
'"t ta#es awhile fo$ the' to wo$#!'
" $u''aged in 'y shi$t d$awe$ and found an old Ha$ley*2avidson tee that had sh$un#! "t was
still 'iles too %ig fo$ he$, %ut when " tied a #not in one side it 'ade a #ind of sa$ong that #ept
slipping off one of he$ shoulde$s! "t was al'ost cute!
" ca$$y a co'% in 'y %ac# poc#et! " too# it out and co'%ed he$ hai$ %ac# f$o' he$ fo$ehead and
he$ te'ples! She was sta$ting to loo# put togethe$ again, %ut the$e was still so'ething 'issing!
So'ething that was connected in 'y 'ind with Royce e$$ill! That was c$a=y, though ! ! ! wasn't
itB
'i#eB (hat caneB (hat cane a$e you thin#ing a%out itB'
Then it ca'e to 'e! 'A candy cane,' " said! 'The #ind with st$ipes!' 9$o' 'y poc#et " too# the two
white $i%%ons! Thei$ $ed edges loo#ed al'ost $aw in the unce$tain light! '8i#e these!' " tied he$ hai$
%ac# in two little ponytails! Now she had he$ $i%%ons7 she had he$ %lac# dog7 the sunflowe$s had
$elocated a few feet no$th, %ut they we$e the$e! Eve$ything was 'o$e o$ less the way it was
supposed to %e!
Thunde$ %lasted, so'ewhe$e close a t$ee fell, and the lights went out! Afte$ five seconds of da$#*
g$ay shadows, they ca'e on again! " ca$$ied 1i %ac# to the #itchen, and when we passed the cella$
doo$, so'ething laughed %ehind it! " hea$d it7 1i did, too! " could see it in he$ eyes!
'Ta#e ca$e of 'e,' she said! 'Ta#e ca$e of 'e cause "'' &ust a little guy! ,ou p$o'ised!'
'" will!'
'" love you, i#e!'
'" love you, too, 1i!'
The #ettle was huffing! " filled the cup to the halfway 'a$# with hot wate$, then topped it up with
'il#, cooling it off and 'a#ing it $iche$! " too# 1y$a ove$ to the couch! As we passed the dining*
$oo' ta%le " glanced at the ". typew$ite$ and at the 'anusc$ipt with the c$oss*wo$d*pu==le %oo#
lying on top of it! Those things loo#ed vaguely foolish and so'ehow sad, li#e gadgets that neve$
wo$#ed ve$y well and now do not wo$# at all!
8ightning lit up the enti$e s#y, scou$ing the $oo' with pu$ple light! "n that gla$e the la%o$ing
t$ees loo#ed li#e sc$ea'ing finge$s, and as the light $aced ac$oss the sliding glass doo$ to the dec# "
saw a wo'an standing %ehind us, %y the woodstove! She was indeed wea$ing a st$aw hat, with a
%$i' the si=e of a ca$twheel!
'(hat do you 'ean, the $ive$ is al'ost in the seaB' 1i as#ed!
" sat down and handed he$ the cup! '2$in# that up!'
'(hy did the 'en hu$t 'y 'o''yB 2idn't they want he$ to have a good ti'eB'
'" guess not,' " said! " %egan to c$y! " held he$ on 'y lap, wiping away the tea$s with the %ac#s of
'y hands!
',ou should have ta#en so'e sad*pills, too,' 1i said! She held out he$ cocoa! He$ hai$ $i%%ons,
which " had tied in %ig sloppy %ows, %o%%ed! 'He$e! 2$in# so'e!'
" d$an# so'e! 9$o' the no$th end of the house ca'e anothe$ g$inding, c$ac#ling c$ash! The low
$u'%le of the gene$ato$ stutte$ed and the house went g$ay again! Shadows $aced ac$oss 1i's s'all
face!
'Hold on,' " told he$! 'T$y not to %e sca$ed! ay%e the lights will co'e %ac#!' A 'o'ent late$ they
did, although now " could hea$ a hoa$se, uneven note in the gennie's $oa$ and the flic#e$ of the
lights was 'uch 'o$e noticea%le!
'Tell 'e a sto$y,' she said! 'Tell 'e a%out 3inde$%ell!'
'3inde$ella!'
',eah, he$!'
'All $ight, %ut sto$yguys get paid!' " pu$sed 'y lips and 'ade sipping sounds!
She held the cup out! The cocoa was sweet and good! The sensation of %eing watched was heavy
and not sweet at all, %ut let the' watch! 8et the' watch while they could!
'The$e was this p$etty gi$l na'ed 3inde$ella + '
'Once upon a ti'eC That's how it sta$tsC That's how they all sta$tC'
'That's $ight, " fo$got! Once upon a ti'e the$e was this p$etty gi$l na'ed 3inde$ella, who had two
'ean stepsiste$s! Thei$ na'es we$e ! ! ! do you $e'e'%e$B'
'Ta''y 9aye and 4anna!'
',eah, the Nueens of Hai$sp$ay! And they 'ade 3inde$ella do all the $eally unpleasant cho$es,
li#e sweeping out the fi$eplace and cleaning up the dogpoop in the %ac# ya$d! Now it &ust so
happened that the noted $oc# %and Oasis was going to play a gig at the palace, and although all the
gi$ls had %een invited ! ! ! '
" got as fa$ as the pa$t a%out the fai$y god'othe$ catching the 'ice and tu$ning the' into a
e$cedes li'ousine %efo$e the .enad$yl too# effect! "t $eally was a 'edicine fo$ sadness7 when "
loo#ed down, 1i was fast asleep in the c$oo# of 'y a$' with he$ cocoa cup listing $adically to po$t!
" pluc#ed it f$o' he$ finge$s and put it on the coffee*ta%le, then %$ushed he$ d$ying hai$ off he$
fo$ehead!
'1iB'
Nothing! She'd gone to the land of Noddy*.lin#y! "t p$o%a%ly helped that he$ afte$noon nap had
ended al'ost %efo$e it got sta$ted!
" pic#ed he$ up and ca$$ied he$ down to the no$th %ed$oo', he$ feet %ouncing li'ply in the ai$
and the he' of the Ha$ley shi$t flipping a$ound he$ #nees! " put he$ on the %ed and pulled the duvet
up to he$ chin! Thunde$ %oo'ed li#e a$tille$y fi$e, %ut she didn't even sti$! Exhaustion, g$ief,
.enad$yl ! ! ! they had ta#en he$ deep, ta#en he$ %eyond ghosts and so$$ow, and that was good! "
%ent ove$ and #issed he$ chee#, which had finally %egun to cool! '"'ll ta#e ca$e of you,' " said! '"
p$o'ised, and " will!'
As if hea$ing 'e, 1i tu$ned on he$ side, put the hand holding St$ic#land unde$ he$ &aw, and 'ade
a soft sighing sound! He$ lashes we$e da$# soot against he$ chee#s, in sta$tling cont$ast to he$ light
hai$! 8oo#ing at he$ " felt 'yself swept %y love, sha#en %y it the way one is sha#en %y a sic#ness!
"ake care of me' 1'm )ust a little guy(
'" will, 1i*%i$d,' " said!
" went into the %ath$oo' and %egan filling the tu%, as " had once filled it in 'y sleep! She would
sleep th$ough it all if " could get enough wa$' wate$ %efo$e the gene$ato$ )uit enti$ely! " wished "
had a %ath*toy to give he$ in case she did wa#e up, so'ething li#e (ilhel' the Spouting (hale,
%ut she'd have he$ dog, and she p$o%a%ly wouldn't wa#e up, anyway! No f$ee=ing %aptis' unde$ a
handpu'p fo$ 1y$a! " was not c$uel, and " was not c$a=y!
" had only disposa%le $a=o$s in the 'edicine ca%inet, no good fo$ the othe$ &o% ahead of 'e! Not
efficient enough! .ut one of the #itchen stea# #nives would do! "f " filled the wash%asin with wate$
that was $eally hot, " wouldn't even feel it! A lette$ " on each a$', the top %a$ d$awn ac$oss the
w$ists +
9o$ a 'o'ent " ca'e out of the =one! A voice + 'y own spea#ing as so'e co'%ination of 6o
and attie + sc$ea'edD What are you thinking about? 2h #ike' what in -od's name are you
thinking about?
Then the thunde$ %oo'ed, the lights flic#e$ed, and the $ain %egan to pou$ down again, d$iven %y
the wind! " went %ac# into that place whe$e eve$ything was clea$, 'y cou$se indisputa%le! 8et it all
end + the so$$ow, the hu$t, the fea$! " didn't want to thin# any'o$e a%out how attie had danced
with he$ toes on the 9$is%ee as if it we$e a spotlight! " didn't want to %e the$e when 1y$a wo#e up,
didn't want to see the 'ise$y fill he$ eyes! " didn't want to get th$ough the night ahead, the day that
was co'ing %eyond it, o$ the day that was co'ing afte$ that! They we$e all ca$s on the sa'e old
'yste$y t$ain! 8ife was a sic#ness! " was going to give he$ a nice wa$' %ath and cu$e he$ of it! "
$aised 'y a$'s! "n the 'edicine ca%inet 'i$$o$ a 'u$#y figu$e + a Shape + $aised its own in a
#ind of &ocula$ g$eeting! "t was 'e! "t had %een 'e all along, and that was all $ight! That was &ust
fine!
" d$opped to one #nee and chec#ed the wate$! "t was co'ing in nice and wa$'! 5ood! Even if the
gene$ato$ )uit now, it would %e fine! The tu% was an old one, a deep one! As " wal#ed down to the
#itchen to get the #nife, " thought a%out cli'%ing in with he$ afte$ " had finished cutting 'y w$ists
in the hotte$ wate$ of the %asin! No, " decided! "t 'ight %e 'isinte$p$eted %y the people who would
co'e he$e late$ on, people with nasty 'inds and nastie$ assu'ptions! The ones who'd co'e when
the sto$' was ove$ and the t$ees ac$oss the $oad clea$ed away! No, afte$ he$ %ath " would d$y he$
and put he$ %ac# in %ed with St$ic#land in he$ hand! "'d sit ac$oss the $oo' f$o' he$, in the $oc#ing
chai$ %y the %ed$oo' windows! " would sp$ead so'e towels in 'y lap to #eep as 'uch of the %lood
off 'y pants as " could, and eventually " would go to sleep, too!
.unte$'s %ell was still $inging! uch loude$ now! "t was getting on 'y ne$ves, and if it #ept on
that way it 'ight even wa#e the %a%y! " decided to pull it down and silence it fo$ good! " c$ossed
the $oo', and as " did a st$ong gust of ai$ %lew past 'e! "t wasn't a d$aft f$o' the %$o#en #itchen
window7 this was that wa$' su%way*ai$ again! "t %lew the "ough Stuff c$osswo$d %oo# onto the
floo$, %ut the pape$weight on the 'anusc$ipt #ept the loose pages f$o' following! As " loo#ed in
that di$ection, .unte$'s %ell fell silent!
A voice sighed ac$oss the di' $oo'! (o$ds " couldn't 'a#e out! And what did they 'atte$B
(hat did one 'o$e 'anifestation + one 'o$e %last of hot ai$ f$o' the 5$eat .eyond + 'atte$B
Thunde$ $olled and the sigh ca'e again! This ti'e, as the gene$ato$ died and the lights went out,
plunging the $oo' into g$ay shadow, " got one wo$d in the clea$D
Nineteen(
" tu$ned on 'y heels, 'a#ing a nea$ly co'plete ci$cle! " finished up loo#ing ac$oss the shadowy
$oo' at the 'anusc$ipt of #y hildhood /riend! Suddenly the light %$o#e! Unde$standing a$$ived!
Not the c$osswo$d %oo#! Not the phone %oo#, eithe$!
#y %oo#! y 'anusc$ipt!
" c$ossed to it, vaguely awa$e that the wate$ had stopped $unning into the tu% in the no$th*wing
%ath$oo'! (hen the gene$ato$ died, the pu'p had )uit! That was all $ight, it would %e plenty deep
enough al$eady! And wa$'! " would give 1y$a he$ %ath, %ut fi$st the$e was so'ething " had to do! "
had to go down nineteen, and afte$ that " &ust 'ight have to go down ninety*two! And " could! " had
co'pleted &ust ove$ a hund$ed and twenty pages of 'anusc$ipt, so " could! " g$a%%ed the %atte$y*
powe$ed lante$n f$o' the top of the ca%inet whe$e " still #ept seve$al hund$ed actual vinyl $eco$ds,
clic#ed it on, and set it on the ta%le! "t cast a white ci$cle of $adiance on the 'anusc$ipt + in the
gloo' of that afte$noon it was as %$ight as a spotlight!
On page nineteen of #y hildhood /riend, Tiffi Taylo$ + the call*gi$l who had $e*invented
he$self as Regina (hiting + was sitting in he$ studio with Andy 2$a#e, $eliving the day that 6ohn
San%o$n -the alias unde$ which 6ohn Shac#lefo$d had %een getting %y/ saved he$ th$ee*yea$*old
daughte$, 1a$en! This is the passage " $ead as the thunde$ %oo'ed and the $ain slashed against the
sliding doo$ giving on the dec#D
+,END' &y Noonan-.%. /0
o$er that #ay' , #as sure o! it'' she sai"' '&ut
#hen , coul"n't see her any#here' , #ent to
look in the hot tu&.' She lit a ci%arette. '1hat ,
sa# ma"e me !eel like screamin%' 2n"y 3 4aren #as
un"er#ater. 2ll that #as out #as her han" . . . the
nails #ere turnin% purple. 2!ter that . . . , %uess ,
"i$e" in' &ut , "on't remem&er5 , #as 6one" out.
E$erythin% !rom then on is like a "ream #here stu!!
runs to%ether in your min". The yar")%uy 3 San&orn 3
sho$e" me asi"e an" "i$e". 7is !oot hit me in the
throat an" , coul"n't s#allo# !or a #eek. 7e yanke"
up on 4aren's arm. , thou%ht he'" pull it o!! her
"amn shoul"er' &ut he %ot her. 7e %ot her.'
,n the %loom' Drake sa# she #as #eepin%. '8o".
Oh 8o"' , thou%ht she #as "ea". , #as sure she #as.'
" #new at once, %ut laid 'y steno pad along the left 'a$gin of the 'anusc$ipt so " could see it
%ette$! Reading down, as you'd $ead a ve$tical c$osswo$d*pu==le answe$, the fi$st lette$ of each line
spelled the 'essage which had %een the$e al'ost since " %egan the %oo#D
o#ls un"Er stu" O
Then, allowing fo$ the indent next*to*last line f$o' the %otto'D
o#ls un"Er stu",O
Bill Dean' my caretaker' is sitting behind the wheel of his truck( .e has accomplished his two
purposes in coming here 3 welcoming me back to the "R and warning me off #attie De&ore( Now
he's ready to go( .e smiles at me' displaying those big false teeth' those Roebuckers( '1f you get a
chance' you ought to look for the owls'' he tells me( 1 ask him what 0o would ha&e wanted with a
couple of plastic owls and he replies that they keep the crows from shitting up the woodwork( 1
accept that' 1 ha&e other things to think about' but still ( ( ( '1t was like she'd come down to do that
errand special'' he says( 1t ne&er crosses my mind 3 not then' at least 3 that in 1ndian folklore'
owls ha&e another purposeA they are said to keep e&il spirits away( 1f 0o knew that plastic owls
would scare the crows off' she would ha&e known that( 1t was )ust the sort of information she
picked up and tucked away( #y in!uisiti&e wife( #y brilliant scatterbrain(
Thunde$ $olled! 8ightning ate at the clouds li#e spills of %$ight acid! " stood %y the dining*$oo'
ta%le with the 'anusc$ipt in 'y unsteady hands!
'3h$ist, 6o,' " whispe$ed! '(hat did you find outB'
And why didn't you tell me?
.ut " thought " #new the answe$ to that! She hadn't told 'e %ecause " was so'ehow li#e ax
2evo$e7 his g$eat*g$andfathe$ and 'y own had shit in the sa'e pit! "t didn't 'a#e any sense, %ut
the$e it was!
And she hadn't told he$ own %$othe$, eithe$! " too# a wei$d #ind of co'fo$t f$o' that!
" %egan to leaf th$ough the 'anusc$ipt, 'y s#in c$awling!
Andy 2$a#e $a$ely f$owned in ichael Noonan's #y hildhood /riend! He scowled instead,
%ecause the$e's an owl in eve$y scowl! .efo$e co'ing to 9lo$ida, 6ohn Shac#lefo$d had %een living
in Studio 3ity, 3alifo$nia! 2$a#e's fi$st 'eeting with Regina (hiting occu$$ed in he$ studio! Ray
5a$$aty's last*#nown add$ess was the Studio Apa$t'ents in 1ey 8a$go! Regina (hiting's %est
f$iend was Steffie Unde$wood! Steffi's hus%and was Towle Unde$wood + the$e was a good one,
two fo$ the p$ice of one!
2wls under studio(
"t was eve$ywhe$e, on eve$y page, &ust li#e the @*na'es in the telephone %oo#! A #ind of
'onu'ent, this one %uilt + " was su$e of it + not %y Sa$a Tidwell %ut %y 6ohanna A$len Noonan!
y wife passing 'essages %ehind the gua$d's %ac#, p$aying with all he$ conside$a%le hea$t that "
would see and unde$stand!
On page ninety*two Shac#lefo$d was tal#ing to 2$a#e in the p$ison visito$s' $oo' + sitting with
his w$ists %etween his #nees, loo#ing down at the chain $unning %etween his an#les, $efusing to
'a#e eye*contact with 2$a#e!
+,END' &y Noonan-.%. 09
only thin% , %ot to say. 2nythin% else' !uck'
#hat %oo" #oul" it "o: ;i!e's a %ame' an" ,
lost. <ou #ant me to tell you that , yanke"
some little ki" out o! the #ater' pulle" her
up' %ot her motor %oin% a%ain: , "i"' &ut
not &ecause ,'m a hero or a saint . . . '
The$e was 'o$e %ut no need to $ead it! The 'essage, owls under studio, $an down the 'a$gin &ust
as it had on page nineteen! As it p$o%a%ly did on any nu'%e$ of othe$ pages as well! " $e'e'%e$ed
how deli$iously happy " had %een to discove$ that the %loc# had %een dissolved and " could w$ite
again! "t had %een dissolved all $ight, %ut not %ecause "'d finally %eaten it o$ found a way a$ound it!
0o had dissolved it! 0o had %eaten it, and 'y continued ca$ee$ as a w$ite$ of second*$ate th$ille$s
had %een the least of he$ conce$ns when she did it! As " stood the$e in the flic#e$*flash of lightning,
feeling 'y unseen guests swi$l a$ound 'e in the unsteady ai$, " $e'e'%e$ed $s! o$an, 'y fi$st*
g$ade teache$! (hen you$ effo$ts to $eplicate the s'ooth cu$ves of the 0al'e$ ethod alpha%et on
the %lac#%oa$d %egan to flag and wave$, she would put he$ la$ge co'petent hand ove$ you$s and
help you!
So had 6o helped 'e!
" $iffled th$ough the 'anusc$ipt and saw the #ey wo$ds eve$ywhe$e, so'eti'es placed so you
could actually $ead the' stac#ed on diffe$ent lines, one a%ove the othe$! How ha$d she had t$ied to
tell 'e this ! ! ! and " had no intention of doing anything else until " found out why! " d$opped the
'anusc$ipt %ac# on the ta%le, %ut %efo$e " could $e*ancho$ it, a fu$ious gust of f$ee=ing ai$ %lew past
'e, lifting the pages and scatte$ing the' eve$ywhe$e in a cyclone! "f that fo$ce could have $ipped
the' to sh$eds, "'' su$e that it would have!
No5 it c$ied as " g$a%%ed the lante$n's handle! No' finish the )ob5
(ind %lew a$ound 'y face in chill gusts + it was as if so'eone " couldn't )uite see was
standing $ight in f$ont of 'e and %$eathing in 'y face, $et$eating as " 'oved fo$wa$d, huffing and
puffing li#e the %ig %ad wolf outside the houses of the th$ee little pigs!
" hung the lante$n ove$ 'y a$', held 'y hands out in f$ont of 'e, and clapped the' togethe$
sha$ply! The cold puffs in 'y face ceased! The$e was now only the $ando' swi$ling ai$ co'ing in
th$ough the pa$tially plugged #itchen window! 'She's sleeping,' " said to what " #new was still the$e,
silently watching! 'The$e's ti'e!'
" went out the %ac# doo$ and the wind too# 'e at once, 'a#ing 'e stagge$ sideways, al'ost
#noc#ing 'e ove$! And in the wave$ing t$ees " saw g$een faces, the faces of the dead! 2evo$e's was
the$e, and Royce's, and Son Tidwell's! ost of all " saw Sa$a's!
Eve$ywhe$e Sa$a!
No5 -o back5 ,ou don't need no truck with no owls' sugar5 -o back5 /inish the )ob5 Do what
you came for5
'" don't #now what " ca'e fo$,' " said! 'And until " find out, "'' not doing anything!'
The wind sc$ea'ed as if in offense, and a huge %$anch split off the pine standing to the $ight of
the house! "t fell on top of 'y 3hev$olet in a sp$ay of wate$, denting the $oof %efo$e $olling off on
'y side!
3lapping 'y hands out he$e would %e eve$y %it as useful as 1ing 3anute co''anding the tide to
tu$n! This was he$ wo$ld, not 'ine ! ! ! and only the edge of it, at that! Eve$y step close$ to The
St$eet and the la#e would %$ing 'e close$ to that wo$ld's hea$t, whe$e ti'e was thin and spi$its
$uled! Oh dea$ 5od, what had happened to cause thisB
The path to 6o's studio had tu$ned into a c$ee#! " got a do=en steps down it %efo$e a $oc# tu$ned
unde$ 'y foot and " fell heavily on 'y side! 8ightning =igged ac$oss the s#y, the$e was the c$ac# of
anothe$ %$ea#ing %$anch, and then so'ething was falling towa$d 'e! " put 'y hands up to shield
'y face and $olled to the $ight, off the path! The %$anch splashed to the g$ound &ust %ehind 'e, and
" tu'%led halfway down a slope that was slic# with soa#ed needles! At last " was a%le to pull
'yself to 'y feet! The %$anch on the path was even %igge$ than the one which had landed on the
$oof of the ca$! "f it had st$uc# 'e, it li#ely would have %ashed in 'y s#ull!
-o back5 A hissing, spiteful wind th$ough the t$ees!
/inish it5 The slo%%e$ing, guttu$al voice of the la#e sla''ing into the $oc#s and the %an# %elow
The St$eet!
#ind your business5 That was the ve$y house itself, g$oaning on its foundations! ind you$
%usiness and let 'e 'ind 'ineC
.ut 1y$a was 'y %usiness! 1y$a was 'y daughte$!
" pic#ed up the lante$n! The housing was c$ac#ed %ut the %ul% glowed %$ight and steady + that
was one fo$ the ho'e tea'! .ent ove$ against the howling wind, hand $aised to wa$d off 'o$e
falling %$anches, " slipped and stu'%led 'y way down the hill to 'y dead wife's studio!
3HA0TER T(ENT,*SE4EN
At fi$st the doo$ wouldn't open! The #no% tu$ned unde$ 'y hand so " #new it wasn't loc#ed, %ut the
$ain see'ed to have swelled the wood ! ! ! o$ had so'ething %een shoved up against itB " d$ew %ac#,
c$ouched a little, and hit the doo$ with 'y shoulde$! This ti'e the$e was so'e slight give!
"t was he$! Sa$a! Standing on the othe$ side of the doo$ and t$ying to hold it shut against 'e! How
could she do thatB How, in 5od's na'eB She was a fuc#ing ghostC
" thought of the .A 3ONSTRU3T"ON pic#up ! ! ! and as if thought we$e con&u$ation " could
al'ost see it out the$e at the end of 8ane 9o$ty*two, pa$#ed %y the highway! The old ladies' sedan
was %ehind it, and th$ee o$ fou$ othe$ ca$s we$e now %ehind the'! All of the' with thei$ windshield
wipe$s flopping %ac# and fo$th, thei$ headlights cutting fee%le cones th$ough the downpou$! They
we$e lined up on the shoulde$ li#e ca$s at a ya$d sale! The$e was no ya$d sale he$e, only the old*
ti'e$s sitting silently in thei$ ca$s! Old*ti'e$s who we$e in the =one &ust li#e " was! Old*ti'e$s
sending in the vi%e!
She was d$awing on the'! Stealing f$o' the'! She'd done the sa'e with 2evo$e + and 'e too,
of cou$se! any of the 'anifestations "'d expe$ienced since co'ing %ac# had li#ely %een c$eated
f$o' 'y own psychic ene$gy! "t was a'using when you thought of it!
O$ 'ay%e 'te$$ifying' was the wo$d " was actually loo#ing fo$!
'6o, help 'e,' " said in the pou$ing $ain! 8ightning flashed, tu$ning the to$$ents a %$ight %$ief
silve$! '"f you eve$ loved 'e, help 'e now!'
" d$ew %ac# and hit the doo$ again! This ti'e the$e was no $esistance at all and " went hu$tling in,
catching 'y shin on the &a'% and falling to 'y #nees! " held onto the lante$n, though!
The$e was a 'o'ent of silence! "n it " felt fo$ces and p$esences gathe$ing the'selves! "n that
'o'ent nothing see'ed to 'ove, although %ehind 'e, in the woods 6o had loved to $a'%le +
with 'e o$ without 'e + the $ain continued to fall and the wind continued to howl, a 'e$ciless
ga$dene$ p$uning its way th$ough the t$ees that we$e dead and al'ost dead, doing the wo$# of ten
gentle$ yea$s in one tu$%ulent hou$! Then the doo$ sla''ed shut and it %egan! " saw eve$ything in
the glow of the flashlight, which " had tu$ned on without even $eali=ing it, %ut at fi$st " didn't #now
exactly what " was seeing, othe$ than the dest$uction %y polte$geist of 'y wife's %eloved c$afts and
t$easu$es!
The f$a'ed afghan s)ua$e to$e itself off the wall and flew f$o' one side of the studio to the
othe$, the %lac# oa# f$a'e %$ea#ing apa$t! The heads popped off the dolls po#ing out of the %a%y
collages li#e cha'pagne co$#s at a pa$ty! The hanging light*glo%e shatte$ed, showe$ing 'e with
f$ag'ents of glass! A wind %egan to %low + a cold one + and was )uic#ly &oined and whi$led into
a cyclone %y one which was wa$'e$, al'ost hot! They $olled past 'e as if in i'itation of the la$ge$
sto$' outside!
The Sa$a 8aughs head on the %oo#case, the one which appea$ed to %e const$ucted of toothpic#s
and lollipop stic#s, exploded in a cloud of wood*splinte$s! The #aya# paddle leaning against the
wall $ose into the ai$, $owed fu$iously at nothing, then launched itself at 'e li#e a spea$! " th$ew
'yself flat on the g$een $ag $ug to avoid it, and felt %its of %$o#en glass f$o' the shatte$ed light*
glo%e cut into the pal' of 'y hand as " ca'e down! " felt so'ething else, as well + a $idge of
so'ething %eneath the $ug! The paddle hit the fa$ wall ha$d enough to split into two pieces!
Now the %an&o 'y wife had neve$ %een a%le to 'aste$ $ose in the ai$, $evolved twice, and played
a %$ight $attle of notes that we$e out of tune %ut nonetheless un'ista#a%le + wish " was in the land
of cotton, old ti'es the$e a$e not fo$gotten! The ph$ase ended with a vicious .8UN1C that %$o#e all
five st$ings! The %an&o whi$led itself a thi$d ti'e, its %$ight steel fittings $eflecting fishscale $uns of
light on the study walls, and then %eat itself to death against the floo$, the d$u' shatte$ing and the
tuning pegs snapping off li#e teeth!
The sound of 'oving ai$ %egan to + how do " exp$ess thisB + to focus so'ehow, until it wasn't
the sound of ai$ %ut the sound of voices + panting, unea$thly voices full of fu$y! They would have
sc$ea'ed if they'd had vocal co$ds to sc$ea' with! 2usty ai$ swi$led up in the %ea' of 'y
flashlight, 'a#ing helix shapes that danced togethe$, then $eeled apa$t again! 9o$ &ust a 'o'ent "
hea$d Sa$a's sna$ling, s'o#e*%$o#en voiceD '-it out' bitch5 ,ou git on out5 "his ain't none of yours
3 ' And then a cu$ious insu%stantial thud, as if ai$ had collided with ai$! This was followed %y a
$ushing wind*tunnel sh$ie# that " $ecogni=edD "'d hea$d it in the 'iddle of the night! 6o was
sc$ea'ing! Sa$a was hu$ting he$, Sa$a was punishing he$ fo$ p$esu'ing to inte$fe$e, and 6o was
sc$ea'ing!
'NoC' " shouted, getting to 'y feet! '8eave he$ aloneC 8eave he$ %eC' " advanced into the $oo',
swinging the lante$n in f$ont of 'y face as if " could %eat he$ away with it! Stoppe$ed %ottles
sto$'ed past 'e + so'e contained d$ied flowe$s, so'e ca$efully sectioned 'ush$oo's, so'e
woods*he$%s! They shatte$ed against the fa$ wall with a %$ittle xylophone sound! None of the'
st$uc# 'e7 it was as if an unseen hand guided the' away!
Then 6o's $olltop des# $ose into the ai$! "t 'ust have weighed at least fou$ hund$ed pounds with
its d$awe$s loaded as they we$e, %ut it floated li#e a feathe$, nodding fi$st one way and then dipping
the othe$ in the opposing cu$$ents of ai$!
6o sc$ea'ed again, this ti'e in ange$ $athe$ than pain, and " stagge$ed %ac#wa$d against the
closed doo$ with a feeling that " had %een scooped hollow! Sa$a wasn't the only one who could steal
the ene$gy of the living, it appea$ed! (hite se'eny stuff + ectoplas', " guess + spilled f$o' the
des#'s pigeonholes in a do=en little st$ea's, and the des# suddenly launched itself ac$oss the $oo'!
"t flew al'ost too fast to follow with the eye! Anyone standing in f$ont of it would have %een
s'ashed flat The$e was a head*splitting sh$ie# of p$otest and agony + Sa$a this ti'e, " #new it was
+ and then the des# st$uc# the wall, %$ea#ing th$ough it and letting in the $ain and the wind! The
$olltop snapped loose of its slot and hung li#e a &ointed tongue! All the d$awe$s shot out! Spools of
th$ead, s#eins of ya$n, little flo$aOfauna identification %oo#s and woods guides, thi'%les,
note%oo#s, #nitting needles, d$ied*up agic a$#e$s + 6o's ea$ly $e'ains, 1i 'ight have called
the'! They flew eve$ywhe$e li#e %ones and %its of hai$ c$uelly scatte$ed f$o' a disinte$$ed coffin!
'Stop it,' " c$oa#ed! 'Stop it, %oth of you! That's enough!'
.ut the$e was no need to tell the'! Except fo$ the fu$ious %eat of the sto$', " was alone in the
$uins of 'y wife's studio! The %attle was ove$! At least fo$ the ti'e %eing!
" #nelt and dou%led up the g$een $ag $ug, ca$efully folding into it as 'uch of the shatte$ed glass
f$o' the light as " could! .eneath it was a t$apdoo$ giving on a t$iangula$ sto$age a$ea c$eated %y
the slope of the land as it d$opped towa$d the la#e! The $idge "'d felt was one of the t$ap's hinges! "
had #nown a%out this a$ea and had 'eant to chec# it fo$ the owls! Then things %egan to happen and
"'d fo$gotten!
The$e was a $ecessed $ing in the t$apdoo$! " g$a%%ed it, $eady fo$ 'o$e $esistance, %ut it swung up
easily! The s'ell that wafted up f$o=e 'e in 'y t$ac#s! Not da'p decay, at least not at fi$st, %ut
Red + 6o's favo$ite pe$fu'e! "t hung a$ound 'e fo$ a 'o'ent and then it was gone! (hat $eplaced
it was the s'ell of $ain, $oots, and wet ea$th! Not pleasant, %ut " had s'elled fa$ wo$se down %y the
la#e nea$ that da'ned %i$ch t$ee!
" shone 'y light down th$ee steep steps! " could see a s)uat shape that tu$ned out to %e an old
toilet + " could vaguely $e'e'%e$ .ill and 1enny Auste$ putting it unde$ he$e %ac# in :;;A o$ ';:!
The$e we$e steel %oxes + filing ca%inet d$awe$s, actually + w$apped in plastic and stac#ed up on
pallets! Old $eco$ds and pape$s! An eight*t$ac# tape playe$ w$apped in a plastic %ag! An old 43R
next to it, in anothe$ one! And ove$ in the co$ne$ +
" sat down, hung 'y legs ove$, and felt so'ething touch the an#le " had tu$ned in the la#e! "
shone 'y light %etween 'y #nees and fo$ one 'o'ent saw a young %lac# #id! Not the one
d$owned in the la#e, though + this one was olde$ and )uite a lot %igge$! Twelve, 'ay%e fou$teen!
The d$owned %oy had %een no 'o$e than eight!
This one %a$ed his teeth at 'e and hissed li#e a cat! The$e we$e no pupils in his eyes7 li#e those
of the %oy in the la#e, his eyes we$e enti$ely white, li#e the eyes of a statue! And he was sha#ing his
head! Don't come down here' white man( %et the dead rest in peace!
'.ut you'$e not at peace,' " said, and shone the light full on hi'! " had a 'o'enta$y gli'pse of a
t$uly hideous thing! " could see th$ough hi', %ut " could also see into hi'D the $otting $e'ains of his
tongue in his 'outh, his eyes in thei$ soc#ets, his %$ain si''e$ing li#e a spoiled egg in its case of
s#ull! Then he was gone, and the$e was nothing %ut one of those swi$ling dust*helixes!
" went down, holding the lante$n $aised! .elow it, nests of shadows $oc#ed and see'ed to $each
upwa$d!
The sto$age a$ea -it was $eally no 'o$e than a glo$ified c$awlspace/ had %een floo$ed with wooden
pallets, &ust to #eep stuff off the g$ound! Now wate$ $an %eneath these in a steady $ive$, and enough
of the ea$th had e$oded to 'a#e even c$awling unsteady wo$#! The s'ell of pe$fu'e was enti$ely
gone! (hat had $eplaced it was a nasty $ive$%otto' s'ell and + unli#ely given the conditions, "
#now, %ut it was the$e + the faint, sullen s'ell of ash and fi$e!
" saw what "'d co'e fo$ al'ost at once! 6o's 'ail*o$de$ owls, the ones she had ta#en delive$y of
he$self in Nove'%e$ of :;;G, we$e in the no$theast co$ne$, whe$e the$e we$e only a%out two feet
%etween the sloped pallet floo$ing and the unde$side of the studio! -orry' but they looked real, .ill
had said, and 5o$$y if he wasn't $ightD in the %$ight glow of the lante$n they loo#ed li#e %i$ds fi$st
swaddled, then suffocated in clea$ plastic! Thei$ eyes we$e %$ight wedding $ings ci$cling wide %lac#
pupils! Thei$ plastic feathe$s we$e painted the da$# g$een of pine nee*dies, thei$ %ellies a shade of
di$ty o$ange*white! " c$awled towa$d the' ove$ the s)uelching, shifting pallets, the glow of the
lante$n %o%%ing %ac# and fo$th %etween the', t$ying not to wonde$ if that %oy was %ehind 'e,
c$eeping in pu$suit! (hen " got to the owls, " $aised 'y head without thin#ing and thudded it
against the insulation which $an %eneath the studio floo$! "hump once for yes' twice for no' asshole,
" thought!
" hoo#ed 'y finge$s into the plastic which w$apped the owls and pulled the' towa$d 'e! "
wanted to %e out of he$e! The sensation of wate$ $unning &ust %eneath 'e was st$ange and
unpleasant! So was the s'ell of fi$e, which see'ed st$onge$ now in spite of the da'p! Suppose the
studio was %u$ningB Suppose Sa$a had so'ehow set it alightB "'d $oast down he$e even while the
sto$''s 'uddy $unoff was soa#ing 'y legs and %elly!
One of the owls stood on a plastic %ase, " saw + the %ette$ to set hi' on you$ dec# o$ stoop to
sca$e the c$ows, 'y dea$ + %ut the %ase the othe$ should have %een attached to was 'issing! "
%ac#ed towa$d the t$apdoo$, holding the lante$n in one hand and d$agging the plastic sac# of owls
in the othe$, wincing each ti'e thunde$ cannonaded ove$ 'y head! "'d only gotten a little way when
the da'p tape holding the plastic gave way! The owl 'issing its %ase tilted slowly towa$d 'e, its
%lac#*gold eyes sta$ing $aptly into 'y own!
A swi$l of ai$! A faint, co'fo$ting whiff of Red pe$fu'e! " pulled the owl out %y the ho$nli#e
tufts g$owing f$o' its fo$ehead and tu$ned it upside down! (he$e it had once %een attached to its
plastic %ase the$e we$e now only two pegs with a hollow space %etween the'! "nside the hole was a
s'all tin %ox that " $ecogni=ed even %efo$e " $eached into the owl's %elly and chivvied it out! "
shone the lante$n on its f$ont, #nowing what "'d seeD 6O'S NOT"ONS, w$itten in old*fashioned gilt
sc$ipt! She had found the %ox in an anti)ues %a$n so'ewhe$e!
" loo#ed at it, 'y hea$t %eating ha$d! Thunde$ %oo'ed ove$head! The t$apdoo$ stood open, %ut "
had fo$gotten a%out going up! " had fo$gotten a%out eve$ything %ut the tin %ox " held in 'y hand, a
%ox $oughly the si=e of a ciga$ %ox %ut not )uite as deep! " sp$ead 'y hand ove$ the cove$ and
pulled it off!
The$e was a st$ew of folded pape$s lying on top of a pai$ of steno %oo#s, the wi$e%ound ones "
#eep a$ound fo$ notes and cha$acte$ lists! These had %een $u%%e$*%anded togethe$! On top of
eve$ything else was a shiny %lac# s)ua$e! Until " pic#ed it up and held it close to the side of the
lante$n, " didn't $eali=e it was a photo negative!
5hostly, $eve$sed and faintly o$ange, " saw 6o in he$ g$ay two*piece %athing suit! She was
standing on the swi''ing float with he$ hands %ehind he$ head!
'6o,' " said, and then couldn't say anything else! y th$oat had closed up with tea$s! " held the
negative fo$ a 'o'ent, not wanting to lose contact with it, then put it %ac# in the %ox with the
pape$s and steno %oo#s! This stuff was why she had co'e to Sa$a in 6uly of :;;<7 to gathe$ it up
and hide it as well as she could! She had ta#en the owls off the dec# -9$an# had hea$d the doo$ out
the$e %ang/ and had ca$$ied the' out he$e! " could al'ost see he$ p$ying the %ase off one owl and
stuffing the tin %ox up its plastic wa=oo, w$apping %oth of the' in plastic, then d$agging the'
down he$e, all while he$ %$othe$ sat s'o#ing a$l%o$os and feeling the vi%$ations! The %ad
vi%$ations! " dou%ted if " would eve$ #now all the $easons why she'd done it, o$ what he$ f$a'e of
'ind had %een ! ! ! %ut she had al'ost ce$tainly %elieved "'d find 'y own way down he$e
eventually! (hy else had she left the negativeB
The loose pape$s we$e 'ostly photocopied p$ess clippings f$o' the astle Rock all and f$o'
the Weekly News, the pape$ which had appa$ently p$eceded the all! The dates we$e 'a$#ed on
each in 'y wife's neat, fi$' hand! The oldest clipping was f$o' :?L@, and was headed ANOTHER
HOME SAFE! The $etu$nee was one 6a$ed 2evo$e, age thi$ty*two! Suddenly " unde$stood one of
the things that had pu==led 'eD the gene$ations which didn't see' to 'atch up! A Sa$a Tidwell
song ca'e to 'ind as " c$ouched the$e on the pallets with 'y lante$n shining down on that old*
ti'ey type! "t was the ditty that went "he old folks do it and the young folks' too D And the old folks
show the young folks )ust what to do ! ! !
.y the ti'e Sa$a and the Red*Tops showed up in 3astle 3ounty and settled on what %eca'e
#nown as Tidwell's eadow, 6a$ed 2evo$e would have %een sixty*seven o$ *eight! Old %ut still
hale! A vete$an of the 3ivil (a$! The so$t of olde$ 'an younge$ 'en 'ight loo# up to! And Sa$a's
song was $ight + the old fol#s show the young fol#s &ust what to do!
(hat exactly had they doneB
The clippings a%out Sa$a and the Red*Tops didn't tell! " only s#i''ed the', anyway, %ut the
ove$all tone shoo# 'e, &ust the sa'e! "'d desc$i%e it as unfailing genial conte'pt! The Red*Tops
we$e 'ou$ Southe$n %lac#%i$ds' and 'ou$ $hyth'ic da$#ies!' They we$e 'full of dus#y good*natu$e!'
Sa$a he$self was 'a 'a$velous figu$e of a Neg$o wo'an with %$oad nose, full lips, and no%le %$ow'
who 'fascinated 'en*fol# and wo'en*fol# ali#e with he$ ani'al high spi$its, flashing s'ile, and
$aucous laugh!'
They we$e, 5od #eep us and save us, $eviews! 5ood ones, if you didn't 'ind %eing called full of
dus#y good*natu$e!
" shuffled th$ough the' )uic#ly, loo#ing fo$ anything a%out the ci$cu'stances unde$ which 'ou$
Southe$n %lac#%i$ds' had left! " found nothing! (hat " found instead was a clipping f$o' the all
'a$#ed 6uly :;th -go down nineteen, " thought/, :;GG! The headline $ead VETERAN G*IDE,
8ARETA3ER, 8ANNOT SAVE DA*GHTER! Acco$ding to the sto$y, 9$ed 2ean had %een
fighting the wildfi$es in the easte$n pa$t of the TR with two hund$ed othe$ 'en when the wind had
suddenly changed, 'enacing the no$th end of the la#e, which had p$eviously %een conside$ed safe!
At that ti'e a g$eat 'any local people had #ept fishing and hunting ca'ps up the$e -this 'uch "
#new 'yself/! The co''unity had had a gene$al sto$e and an actual na'e, Halo .ay! 9$ed's wife,
Hilda, was the$e with the 2ean twins, (illia' and 3a$la, age th$ee, while he$ hus%and was off
eating s'o#e! A good 'any othe$ wives and #ids we$e in Halo .ay, as well!
The fi$es had co'e fast when the wind changed, the pape$ said 'li#e 'a$ching explosions!' They
&u'ped the only fi$e%$ea# the 'en had left in that di$ection and headed fo$ the fa$ end of the la#e!
At Halo .ay the$e we$e no 'en to ta#e cha$ge, and appa$ently no wo'en a%le o$ willing to do so!
They panic#ed instead, $acing to load thei$ ca$s with child$en and ca'p possessions, clogging the
one $oad out with thei$ vehicles! Eventually one of the old ca$s o$ t$uc#s %$o#e down and as the
fi$es $oa$ed close$, $unning th$ough woods that hadn't seen $ain since late Ap$il, the wo'en who'd
waited found thei$ way out %loc#ed!
The voluntee$ fi$efighte$s ca'e to the $escue in ti'e, %ut when 9$ed 2ean got to his wife, one of
a pa$ty of wo'en t$ying to push a %al#y stalled 9o$d coupe out of the $oad, he 'ade a te$$i%le
discove$y! .illy lay on the floo$ in the %ac# of the ca$, fast asleep, %ut 3a$la was 'issing! Hilda had
gotten the' %oth in, all $ight + they had %een on the %ac# seat, holding hands &ust as they always
did! .ut at so'e point, afte$ he$ %$othe$ had c$awled onto the floo$ and do=ed off and while Hilda
was stuffing a few last ite's into the t$un#, 3a$la 'ust have $e'e'%e$ed a toy o$ a doll and
$etu$ned to the cottage to get it! (hile she was doing that, he$ 'othe$ had gotten into thei$ old
2esoto and d$iven away without $echec#ing the %a%ies! 3a$la 2ean was eithe$ still in the cottage at
Halo .ay o$ 'a#ing he$ way up the $oad on foot! Eithe$ way the fi$es would $un he$ down!
The $oad was too na$$ow to get a vehicle tu$ned a$ound and too %loc#ed to get one of those
pointed in the $ight di$ection th$ough the c$ush! So 9$ed 2ean, he$o that he was, set off on the $un
towa$d the s'o#e*%lac#ened ho$i=on, whe$e %$ight $i%%ons of o$ange had al$eady %egun to shine
th$ough! The wind*d$iven fi$e had c$owned and $aced to 'eet hi' li#e a love$!
" #nelt on the pallets, $eading this %y the glow of 'y lante$n, and all at once the s'ell of fi$e and
%u$ning intensified! " coughed ! ! ! and then the cough was cho#ed off %y the i$on taste of wate$ in
'y 'outh and th$oat! Once again, this ti'e #neeling in the sto$age a$ea %eneath 'y wife's studio, "
felt as if " we$e d$owning! Once again " leaned fo$wa$d and $etched up nothing %ut a little spit!
" tu$ned and saw the la#e! The loons we$e sc$ea'ing on its ha=y su$face, 'a#ing thei$ way
towa$d 'e in a line, %eating thei$ wings against the wate$ as they ca'e! The %lue of the s#y had
%een %lotted out! The ai$ s'elled of cha$coal and gunpowde$! Ash had %egun to sift down f$o' the
s#y! The easte$n ve$ge of 2a$# Sco$e was in fla'es, and " could hea$ occasional 'uffled $epo$ts as
hollow t$ees exploded! They sounded li#e depth cha$ges!
" loo#ed down, wanting to %$ea# f$ee of this vision, #nowing that in anothe$ 'o'ent o$ two it
wouldn't %e anything so distant as a vision %ut as $eal as the t$ip 1y$a and " had 'ade to the
9$ye%u$g 9ai$! "nstead of a plastic owl with gold*$inged eyes, " was loo#ing at a child with %$ight
%lue ones! She was sitting on a picnic ta%le, holding out he$ chu%%y a$'s and c$ying! " saw he$ as
clea$ly as " saw 'y own face in the 'i$$o$ each 'o$ning when " shaved! " saw she was a%out
@yra's age but much plumper' and her hair is black instead of blonde( .er hair is the shade her
brother's will remain until it finally begins to go gray in the impossibly distant summer of IJJG' a
year she will ne&er see unless someone gets her out of this hell( She wears a white dress and red
knee*stockings and she holds her arms out to me' calling 2addy, 2addy!
1 start toward her and then there is a blast of organi+ed heat that tears me apart for a moment 3
1 am the ghost here' 1 reali+e' and /red Dean has )ust run right through me( 2addy, she cries' but
to him' not me( 2addyC and she hugs him' unmindful of the soot smearing her white silk dress and
her chubby face as he kisses her and more soot begins to fall and the loons beat their way in
toward shore' seeming to weep in shrill lamentation(
2addy the fi$e is co'ingC she cries as he scoops her into his arms(
" #now, %e %$ave, he says( (e'$e gonna %e all $ight, suga$plu', %ut you have to %e %$ave!
"he fire isn't )ust coming'' it has come( "he entire east end of .alo Bay is inflames and now
they're mo&ing this way' eating one by one the little cabins where the men like to lay up drunk in
hunting season and ice*fishing season( Behind Al %eRou$'s' the washing #arguerite hung out that
morning is in flames' pants and dresses and underwear burning on lines which are themsel&es
strings of fire( %ea&es and bark shower down'' a burning ember touches arla's neck and she
shrieks with pain( /red slaps it away as he carries her down the slope of land to the water(
2on't do itC 1 scream( 1 know all this is beyond my power to change' but 1 scream at him anyway'
try to change it anyway( 9ight itC 9o$ 3h$ist's sa#e, fight itC
2addy, who is that 'anB arla asks' and points at me as the green*shingled roof of the Dean
place catches fire(
/red glances toward where she is pointing' and in his face 1 see a spasm of guilt( .e knows what
he's doing' that's the terrible thing 3 way down deep he knows e$actly what he is doing here at
.alo Bay where "he Street ends( .e knows and he's afraid that someone will witness his work( But
he sees nothing(
2r does he? "here is a momentary doubtful widening of the eyes as if he does spy something 3
a dancing heli$ of air' perhaps( 2r does feel me? 1s that it? Does he feel a momentary cold draft in
all this heat? 2ne that feels like protesting hands' hands that would restrain if they only had
substance? "hen he looks away'' then he is wading into the water beside the Deans' stub of a dock(
9$edC 1 scream( 9o$ 5od's sa#e, 'an, loo# at he$C 2o you thin# you$ wife put he$ in a white sil#
d$ess %y accidentB "s that anyone's idea of a play*d$essB
2addy, why a$e we going in the wate$B she asks!
To get away f$o' the fi$e, suga$plu'!
2addy, " can't swi'C
,ou won't have to, he replies' and what a chill 1 feel at that5 Because it's no lie 3 she won't ha&e
to swim' not now' not e&er( And at least /red's way will be more merciful than Normal Auster's
when Normal's turn comes 3 more merciful than the s!ualling handpump' the gallons of free+ing
water(
.er white dress floats around her like a lily( .er red stockings shimmer in the water( She hugs
his neck tightly and now they are among the fleeing loons'' the loons spank the water with their
powerful wings' churning up curds of )am and staring at the man and the girl with their distraught
red eyes( "he air is hea&y with smoke and the sky is gone( 1 stagger after them' wading 3 1 can feel
the cold of the water' although 1 don't splash and lea&e no wake( "he eastern and northern edges of
the lake are both on fire now there is a burning crescent around us as /red Dean wades deeper
with his daughter' carrying her as if to some baptismal rite( And still he tells himself he is trying to
sa&e her' only to sa&e her' )ust as all her life .ilda will tell herself that the child )ust wandered
back to the cottage to look for a toy' that she was not left behind on purpose' left in her white dress
and red stockings to be found by her father' who once did something unspeakable( "his is the past'
this is the %and of Ago' and here the sins of the fathers are &isited on the children' e&en unto the
se&enth generation' which is not yet(
.e takes her deeper and she begins to scream( .er screams mingle with the screams of the loons
until he stops the sound with a kiss upon her terrified mouth! '8ove you, 2addy loves his
suga$plu',' he says' and then lowers her( 1t is to be a full*immersion baptism' then' e$cept there is
no shorebank choir singing 'Shall We -ather at the Ri&er' and no one shouting Hallelu&ahC and he
is not letting her come back up( She struggles furiously in the white bloom of her sacrificial dress'
and after a moment he cannot bear to watch her'' he looks across the lake instead' to the west
where the fire hasn't yet touched 7and ne&er will8' to the west where skies are still blue( Ash sifts
around him like black rain and the tears pour out of his eyes and as she struggles furiously beneath
his hands' trying to free herself from his drowning grip' he tells himself "t was an accident, &ust a
te$$i%le accident, " too# he$ out in the la#e %ecause it was the only place " could ta#e he$, the only
place left, and she panic#ed, she sta$ted to st$uggle, she was all wet and all slippe$y and " lost 'y
good hold on he$ and then " lost any hold on he$ and then +
1 forget 1'm a ghost( 1 scream '@ia5 .old on' @i5' and di&e( 1 reach her' 1 see her terrified face'
her bulging blue eyes' her rosebud of a mouth which is trailing a sil&er line of bubbles toward the
surface where /red stands in water up to his neck' holding her down while he tells himself o&er
and o&er that he was trying to sa&e her' it was the only way' he was trying to sa&e her' it was the
only way( 1 reach for her' again and again 1 reach for her' my child' my daughter' my @ia 7they are
all @ia' the boys as well as the girls' all my daughter8' and each time my arms go through her(
Worse 3 oh' far worse 3 is that now she is reaching for ''e'' her dappled arms floating out'
begging for rescue( .er groping hands melt through mine( 1 cannot touch' because now 1 am the
ghost( 1 am the ghost and as her struggles weaken 1 reali+e that 1 can't 1 can't oh 1
couldn't %$eathe + " was d$owning!
" dou%led ove$, opened 'y 'outh, and this ti'e a g$eat spew of la#e*wate$ ca'e out, soa#ing the
plastic owl which lay on the pallet %y 'y #nees! " hugged the 6O'S NOT"ONS %ox to 'y chest, not
wanting the contents to get wet, and the 'ove'ent t$igge$ed anothe$ $etch! This ti'e cold wate$
pou$ed f$o' 'y nose as well as 'y 'outh! " d$agged in a deep %$eath, then coughed it out!
'This has got to end,' " said, %ut of cou$se this was the end, one way o$ the othe$! .ecause 1y$a
was last!
" cli'%ed up the steps to the studio and sat on the litte$ed floo$ to get 'y %$eath! Outside, the
thunde$ %oo'ed and the $ain fell, %ut " thought the sto$' had passed its pea# of fu$y! O$ 'ay%e "
only hoped!
" $ested with 'y legs hanging down th$ough the t$ap + the$e we$e no 'o$e ghosts he$e to touch
'y an#les, " don't #now how " #new that %ut " did + and st$ipped off the $u%%e$ %ands holding the
steno note%oo#s togethe$! " opened the fi$st one, paged th$ough it, and saw it was al'ost filled with
6o's handw$iting and a nu'%e$ of folded typed sheets -3ou$ie$ type, of cou$se/, single*spacedD the
f$uit of all those clandestine t$ips down to the TR du$ing :;;G and :;;<! 9$ag'enta$y notes, fo$ the
'ost pa$t, and t$ansc$iptions of tapes which 'ight still %e down %elow 'e in the sto$age space
so'ewhe$e! Tuc#ed away with the 43R o$ the eight*t$ac# playe$, pe$haps! .ut " didn't need the'!
(hen the ti'e ca'e + if the ti'e ca'e + " was su$e "'d find 'ost of the sto$y he$e! (hat had
happened, who had done it, how it was cove$ed up! Right now " didn't ca$e! Right now " only
wanted to 'a#e su$e that 1y$a was safe and stayed safe! The$e was only one way to do that!
8ye stille!
" atte'pted to slip the $u%%e$ %ands a$ound the steno %oo#s again, and the one " hadn't loo#ed at
slipped out of 'y wet hand and fell to the floo$! A to$n slip of g$een pape$ fell out! " pic#ed it up
and saw thisD
9o$ a 'o'ent " ca'e out of that st$ange and heightened awa$eness "'d %een living in7 the wo$ld
fell %ac# into its accusto'ed di'ensions! .ut the colo$s we$e all too st$ong, so'ehow, o%&ects too
e'phatically present! " felt li#e a %attlefield soldie$ suddenly illu'inated %y a ghastly white fla$e,
one that shows eve$ything!
y fathe$'s people had co'e f$o' The Nec#, " had %een $ight a%out that 'uch7 'y g$eat*
g$andfathe$ acco$ding to this was 6a'es Noonan, and he had neve$ shit in the sa'e pit as 6a$ed
2evo$e! ax 2evo$e had eithe$ %een lying when he said that to attie ! ! ! o$ 'isinfo$'ed ! ! ! o$
si'ply confused, the way fol#s often get confused when they $each thei$ eighties! Even a fellow
li#e 2evo$e, who had stayed 'ostly sha$p, wouldn't have %een exe'pt f$o' the occasional nic# in
his edge! And he hadn't %een that fa$ off at that! .ecause, acco$ding to this little sc$atch of a cha$t,
'y g$eat*g$andfathe$ had had an olde$ siste$, .$idget! And .$idget had 'a$$ied + .enton Auste$!
y finge$ d$opped down a line, to Ha$$y Auste$! .o$n of .enton and .$idget Noonan Auste$ in
the yea$ :??@!
'3h$ist 6esus,' " whispe$ed! '1enny Auste$'s g$andfathe$ was 'y g$anduncle! And he was one of
the'! (hateve$ they did, Ha$$y Auste$ was one of the'! That's the connection!'
" thought of 1y$a with sudden sha$p te$$o$! She had %een up at the house %y he$self fo$ nea$ly an
hou$! How could " have %een so stupidB Anyone could have co'e in while " was unde$ the studio!
Sa$a could have used anyone to +
" $eali=ed that wasn't t$ue! The 'u$de$e$s and the child victi's had all %een lin#ed %y %lood, and
now that %lood had thinned, that $ive$ had al'ost $eached the sea! The$e was .ill 2ean, %ut he was
staying well away f$o' Sa$a 8aughs! The$e was 1enny Auste$, %ut 1enny had ta#en hi'self and
his fa'ily off to Taxachusetts! And 1i's closest %lood $elations + 'othe$, fathe$, g$andfathe$ +
we$e all dead!
Only " was left! Only " was %lood! Only " could do it! Unless +
" %olted %ac# up to the house as fast as " could, slipping and sliding 'y way along the soa#ed
path, despe$ate to 'a#e su$e she was all $ight! " didn't thin# Sa$a could hu$t 1y$a he$self, no 'atte$
how 'uch of that old*ti'e$ vi%e she had to d$aw on ! ! ! %ut what if " was w$ongB
(hat if " was w$ongB
3HA0TER T(ENT,*E"5HT
1i lay fast asleep &ust as " had left he$, on he$ side with the filthy little stuffed dog clutched unde$
he$ &aw! "t had put a s'udge on he$ nec# %ut " hadn't the hea$t to ta#e it away f$o' he$! .eyond he$
and to the left, th$ough the open %ath$oo' doo$, " could hea$ the steady plink*plonk*plink of wate$
falling f$o' the faucet and into the tu%! 3ool ai$ %lew a$ound 'e in a sil#y twist, ca$essing 'y
chee#s, sending a not unpleasu$a%le shive$ up 'y %ac#! "n the living $oo' .unte$'s %ell gave a di'
little sha#e!
Water's still warm' sugar, Sa$a whispe$ed! Be her friend' be her daddy( -o on' now( Do what 1
want( Do what we both want!
And " did want to, which had to %e why 6o at fi$st t$ied to #eep 'e away f$o' the TR and f$o'
Sa$a 8aughs! (hy she'd 'ade a sec$et of he$ possi%le p$egnancy, as well! "t was as if " had
discove$ed a va'pi$e inside 'e, a c$eatu$e with no inte$est in what it thought of as tal#*show
conscience and op*ed page 'o$ality! A pa$t that wanted only to ta#e 1i into the %ath$oo' and dun#
he$ into that tu% of wa$' wate$ and hold he$ unde$, watching the $ed*edged white $i%%ons shi''e$
the way 3a$la 2ean's white d$ess and $ed stoc#ings had shi''e$ed while the woods %u$ned all
a$ound he$ and he$ fathe$! A pa$t of 'e would %e 'o$e than glad to pay the last install'ent on that
old %ill!
'2ea$ 5od,' " 'utte$ed, and wiped 'y face with a sha#ing hand! 'She #nows so 'any t$ic#s! And
she's so fuc#ing strong!'
The %ath$oo' doo$ t$ied to swing shut against 'e %efo$e " could go th$ough, %ut " pushed it open
against ha$dly any $esistance! The 'edicine*ca%inet doo$ %anged %ac#, and the glass shatte$ed
against the wall! The stuff inside flew out at 'e, %ut it wasn't a ve$y dange$ous attac#7 this ti'e
'ost of the 'issiles consisted of toothpaste tu%es, tooth%$ushes, plastic %ottles, and a few old
4ic#'s inhale$s! 9aint, ve$y faint, " could hea$ he$ shouting in f$ust$ation as " yan#ed the plug at the
%otto' of the tu% and let the wate$ sta$t gu$gling out! The$e had %een enough d$owning on the TR
fo$ one centu$y, %y 5od! And yet, fo$ a 'o'ent " felt an inc$edi%ly st$ong u$ge to put the plug %ac#
in while the wate$ was still deep enough to do the &o%! "nstead " to$e it off its chain and th$ew it
down the hall! The 'edicine*ca%inet doo$ clapped shut again and the $est of the glass fell out!
'How 'any have you hadB' " as#ed he$! 'How 'any %esides 3a$la 2ean and 1e$$y Auste$ and ou$
1iaB TwoB Th$eeB 9iveB How 'any do you need %efo$e you can $estB'
All of them5 the answe$ shot %ac#! "t wasn't &ust Sa$a's voice, eithe$7 it was 'y own, as well!
She'd gotten into 'e, had snuc# in %y way of the %ase'ent li#e a %u$gla$ ! ! ! and al$eady " was
thin#ing that even if the tu% was e'pty and the wate$*pu'p te'po$a$ily dead, the$e was always the
la#e!
All of them5 the voice c$ied again! All of them' sugar5
Of cou$se + only all of the' would do! Until then the$e would %e no $est fo$ Sa$a 8aughs!
'"'ll help you to $est,' " said! 'That " p$o'ise!'
The last of the wate$ swi$led away ! ! ! %ut the$e was always the la#e, always the la#e if " changed
'y 'ind! " left the %ath$oo' and loo#ed in on 1i again! She hadn't 'oved, the sensation that Sa$a
was in he$e with 'e had gone, .unte$'s %ell was )uiet ! ! ! and yet " felt uneasy, unwilling to leave
he$ alone! " had to, though, if " was to finish 'y wo$#, and " would do well not to linge$! 3ounty
and State cops would %e along eventually, sto$' o$ no sto$', downed t$ees o$ no downed t$ees!
,es, %ut ! ! !
" stepped into the hall and loo#ed uneasily a$ound! Thunde$ %oo'ed, %ut it was losing so'e of
its u$gency! So was the wind! (hat wasn't fading was the sense of so'ething watching 'e,
so'ething that was not*Sa$a! " stood whe$e " was a 'o'ent o$ two longe$, t$ying to tell 'yself it
was &ust the si==le of 'y ove$coo#ed ne$ves, then wal#ed down the hall to the ent$y!
" opened the doo$ to the stoop ! ! ! then loo#ed a$ound again sha$ply, as if expecting to see
so'eone o$ so'ething lu$#ing %ehind the fa$ end of the %oo#case! A Shape, pe$haps! So'ething
that still wanted its dust*catche$! .ut " was the only Shape left, at least in this pa$t of the wo$ld, and
the only 'ove'ent " saw was $ipple*shadows th$own %y the $ain $olling down the windows!
"t was still co'ing down ha$d enough to $ed$ench 'e as " c$ossed 'y stoop to the d$iveway, %ut
" paid no attention! " had &ust %een with a little gi$l when she d$owned, had da'ned nea$ d$owned
'yself not so long ago, and the $ain wasn't going to stop 'e f$o' doing what " had to do! " pic#ed
up the fallen %$anch which had dented the $oof of 'y ca$, tossed it aside, and opened the 3hevy's
$ea$ doo$!
The things "'d %ought at Slips 'n 5$eens we$e still sitting on the %ac# seat, still tuc#ed into the
cloth ca$$y*handle %ag 8ila 0$oulx had given 'e! The t$owel and the p$uning #nife we$e visi%le, %ut
the thi$d ite' was in a plastic sac#! Want this one in a special bag? 8ila had as#ed 'e! Always
saNb' ne&er sorry( And late$, as " was leaving, she had spo#en of 1enny's dog .lue%e$$y chasing
seagulls and had given out with a %ig, hea$ty laugh! He$ eyes hadn't laughed, though! ay%e that's
how you tell the a$tians f$o' the Ea$thlings + the a$tians can neve$ laugh with thei$ eyes!
" saw Ro''ie and 5eo$ge's p$esent lying on the f$ont seatD the Steno'as# "'d at fi$st 'ista#en
fo$ 2evo$e's oxygen 'as#! The %oys in the %ase'ent spo#e up then + 'u$'u$ed, at least + and "
leaned ove$ the seat to g$a% the 'as# %y its elastic st$ap without the slightest idea of why " was
doing so! " d$opped it into the ca$$y*%ag, sla''ed the ca$ doo$, then sta$ted down the $ail$oad*tie
steps to the la#e! On the way " paused to duc# unde$ the dec#, whe$e we had always #ept a few
tools! The$e was no pic#, %ut " g$a%%ed a spade that loo#ed up to a piece of g$avedigging! Then, fo$
what " thought would %e the last ti'e, " followed the cou$se of 'y d$ea' down to The St$eet! "
didn't need 6o to show 'e the spot7 the 5$een 8ady had %een pointing to it all along! Even had she
not %een, and even if Sa$a Tidwell did not still stin# to the heavens, " thin# " would have #nown! "
thin# " would have %een led the$e %y 'y own haunted hea$t!
The$e was a 'an standing %etween 'e and the place whe$e the g$ay fo$ehead of $oc# gua$ded the
path, and as " paused on the last $ail$oad tie, he hailed 'e in a $asping voice that " #new all too
well!
'Say the$e, who$e'aste$, whe$e's you$ who$eB'
He stood on The St$eet in the pou$ing $ain, %ut his cutte$s' outfit + g$een flannel pants, chec#ed
wool shi$t + and his faded %lue Union A$'y cap we$e d$y, %ecause the $ain was falling th$ough
hi' $athe$ than on hi'! He loo#ed solid %ut he was no 'o$e $eal than Sa$a he$self! " $e'inded
'yself of this as " stepped down onto the path to face hi', %ut 'y hea$t continued to speed up,
thudding in 'y chest li#e a padded ha''e$!
He was d$essed in 6a$ed 2evo$e's clothes, %ut this wasn't 6a$ed 2evo$e! This was 6a$ed's g$eat*
g$andson ax, who had %egun his ca$ee$ with an act of sled*theft and ended it in suicide ! ! ! %ut
not %efo$e a$$anging fo$ the 'u$de$ of his daughte$*in*law, who'd had the te'e$ity to $efuse hi'
what he had so dea$ly wanted!
" sta$ted towa$d hi' and he 'oved to the cente$ of the path to %loc# 'e! " could feel the cold
%a#ing off hi'! " a' saying exactly what " 'ean, exp$essing what " $e'e'%e$ as clea$ly as " canD "
could feel the cold %a#ing off hi'! And yes, it was ax 2evo$e all $ight, %ut got up li#e a logge$ at
a costu'e pa$ty and loo#ing the way he 'ust have a$ound the ti'e his son 8ance was %o$n! Old %ut
hale! The so$t of 'an younge$ 'en 'ight well loo# up to! And now, as if the thought had called
the', " could see the $est shi''e$ into faint %eing %ehind hi', standing in a line ac$oss the path!
These we$e the ones who had %een with 6a$ed at the 9$ye%u$g 9ai$, and now " #new who so'e of
the' we$e! 9$ed 2ean, of cou$se, only nineteen yea$s old in 'A:, the d$owning of his daughte$ still
ove$ thi$ty yea$s away! And the one who had $e'inded 'e of 'yself was Ha$$y Auste$, the
fi$st%o$n of 'y g$eat*g$andfathe$'s siste$! He would have %een sixteen, %a$ely old enough to $aise a
fu== %ut old enough to wo$# in the woods with 6a$ed! Old enough to shit in the sa'e pit as 6a$ed!
To 'ista#e 6a$ed's poison fo$ wisdo'! One of the othe$s twisted his head and s)uinted at the sa'e
ti'e + "'d seen that tic %efo$e! (he$eB Then it ca'e to 'eD in the 8a#e*view 5ene$al! This young
'an was the late Royce e$$ill's fathe$! The othe$s " didn't #now! No$ did " ca$e to!
',ou ain't a*passing %y us,' 2evo$e said! He held up %oth hands! '2on't even thin# a%out t$ying!
A' " $ight, %oysB'
They 'u$'u$ed g$owling ag$ee'ent + the so$t you could hea$ co'ing f$o' any p$esent*day
gang of head%ange$s o$ tagge$s, " i'agine + %ut thei$ voices we$e distant7 actually 'o$e sad than
'enacing! The$e was so'e su%stance to the 'an in 6a$ed 2evo$e's clothes, pe$haps %ecause in life
he had %een a 'an of eno$'ous vitality, pe$haps %ecause he was so $ecently dead, %ut the othe$s
we$e little 'o$e than p$o&ected i'ages!
" sta$ted fo$wa$d, 'oving into that %a#ing cold, 'oving into the s'ell of hi' + the sa'e invalid
odo$s which had su$$ounded hi' when "'d 'et hi' he$e %efo$e!
'(he$e do you thin# you'$e goingB' he c$ied!
'9o$ a constitutional,' " said! 'And no law against it! The St$eet's the place whe$e good pups and
vile dogs can wal# side*%y*side! ,ou said so you$self!'
',ou don't unde$stand,' ax*6a$ed said! ',ou neve$ will! ,ou'$e not of that wo$ld! That was ou$
wo$ld!'
" stopped, loo#ing at hi' cu$iously! Ti'e was sho$t, " wanted to %e done with this ! ! ! %ut " had
to #now, and " thought 2evo$e was $eady to tell 'e!
'#ake 'e unde$stand,' " said! '3onvince 'e that any wo$ld was you$ wo$ld!' " loo#ed at hi', then
at the flic#e$ing, t$anslucent figu$es %ehind hi', gau=e flesh heaped on shining %ones! 'Tell 'e
what you did!'
'"t was all diffe$ent then,' 2evo$e said! '(hen you co'e down he$e, Noonan, you 'ight wal# all
th$ee 'iles no$th to Halo .ay and see only a do=en people on The St$eet! Afte$ 8a%o$ 2ay you
'ight not see any one at all! This side of the la#e you have to wal# th$ough the %ushes that a$e
g$owing up wild and a$ound the fallen t$ees + the$e'll %e even 'o$e of e' afte$ this sto$' + and
even a deadfall o$ two %ecause nowadays the townfol# don't clu% togethe$ to #eep it neat the way
they used to! .ut in ou$ ti'e + C The woods we$e %igge$ then, Noonan, distances we$e fa$the$ to
go, and neigh%o$ing 'eant so'ething! 8ife itself, often enough! .ac# then this $eally was a st$eet!
3an you seeB'
" could! "f " loo#ed th$ough the phanto' shapes of 9$ed 2ean and Ha$$y Auste$ and the othe$s, "
could! They we$en't &ust ghosts7 they we$e shi''e$glass windows on anothe$ age! " saw
a summer afternoon in the year of ( ( ( IGJG? 6erhaps IJEO? IJEP? Doesn't matter( "his is a
period when all time seems the same' as if time had stopped( "his is a time the old*timers
remember as a kind of golden age( 1t is the %and of Ago' the @ingdom of When*1*Was*a*Boy( "he
sun washes e&erything with the fine gold light of endless late 0uly= the lake is as blue as a dream'
netted with a billion sparks of reflected light( And "he Street5 1t is as smoothly grassed as a lawn
and as broad as a boule&ard( 1t is a boule&ard' 1 see' a place where the community fully reali+es
itself( 1t is the main conduit of communication' the chief cable in a township criss*crossed with
them( 1'd felt the e$istence of these cables all along 3 e&en when 0o was ali&e 1 felt them under the
surface' and here is their point of origin( /olks promenade on "he Street' all up and down the east
side of Dark Score %ake they promenade in little groups' laughing and con&ersing under a cloud*
stacked summer sky' and this is where the cables all begin( 1 look and reali+e how wrong 1 ha&e
been to think of them as #artians' as cruel and calculating aliens( 4ast of their sunny promenade
looms the darkness of the woods' glades and hollows where any miserable thing may await' from a
hot lopped off in a logging accident to a birth gone wrong and a young mother dead before the
doctor can arri&e from astle Rock in his buggy( "hese are people with no electricity' no phones'
no ounty Rescue ;nit' no one to rely upon but each other and a -od some of them ha&e already
begun to mistrust( "hey li&e in the woods and the shadows of the woods' but on fine summer
afternoons they come to the edge of the lake( "hey come to "he Street and look in each other's
faces and laugh together and then they are truly on the "R 3 in what 1 ha&e come to think of as the
+one( "hey are not #artians'' they are little li&es dwelling on the edge of the dark' that's all(
1 see summer people from Warrington's' the men dressed in white flannels' two women in long
tennis dresses still carrying their rackets( A fellow riding a tricycle with an enormous front wheel
wea&es shakily among them( "he party of summer foIk has stopped to talk with a group of young
men from town= the fellows from away want to know if they can play in the townies' baseball game
at Warrington's on "uesday night( Ben #errill' Royce's father*to*be' says Ayuh, %ut we won't go
easy on ya &ust cause you'$e f$o' N',aw#! "he young men laugh= so do the tennis girls(
A little farther on' two boys are playing catch with the sort of raw homemade baseball that is
known as a horsey( Beyond them is a con&ention of young mothers' talking earnestly of their
babies' all safely prammed and gathered in their own group( #en in o&eralls discuss weather and
crops' politics and crops' ta$es and crops( A teacher from the onsolidated .igh sits on the gray
stone forehead 1 know so well' patiently tutoring a sullen boy who wants to be somewhere else and
doing anything else( 1 think the boy will grow up to be Buddy 0ellison's father( Ho$n %$o#en +
watch fo$ finge$, 1 think(
All along "he Street folks are fishing' and they are catching plenty= the lake fairly teems with
bass and trout and pickerel( An artist 3 another summer fellow' )udging from his smock and nancy
beret 3 has set up his easel and is painting the mountains while two ladies watch respectfully( A
giggle of girls passes' whispering about boys and clothes and school( "here is beauty here' and
peace( De&ore' s right to say this is a world 1 ne&er knew( 1t's
'.eautiful,' " said, pulling 'yself %ac# with an effo$t! ',es, " see that! .ut what's you$ pointB'
'y pointB' 2evo$e loo#ed al'ost co'ically su$p$ised! 'She thought she could wal# the$e li#e
eve$yone else, that's the fuc#ing pointC She thought she could wal# the$e li#e a white galC He$ and
he$ %ig teeth and he$ %ig tits and he$ snotty loo#s! She thought she was so'ething special, %ut we
taught he$ diffe$ent! She t$ied to wal# 'e down and when she couldn't do that she put he$ filthy
hands on 'e and tu'ped 'e ove$! .ut that was all $ight7 we taught he$ he$ 'anne$s! 2idn't we,
%oysB'
They g$owled ag$ee'ent, %ut " thought so'e of the' + young Ha$$y Auste$, fo$ one + loo#ed
sic#!
'(e taught he$ he$ place,' 2evo$e said! '(e taught he$ she wasn't nothing %ut a
nigger( "his is the word he uses o&er and o&er again when they are in the woods that summer'
the summer ofIJEI' the summer that Sara and the Red*bps become the musical act to see in this
part of the world( She and her brother and their whole nigger family ha&e been in&ited to
Warrington's to play for the summer people'' they ha&e been rid on champagne and ersters ( ( ( or
so says 0ared De&ore to his little school of de&oted followers as they eat their own plain lunches of
bread and meat and salted cucumbers out of lard*buckets gi&en to them by their mothers 7none of
the young men are married' although 2ren 6eebles is engaged8(
,et it isn't her growing renown that upsets 0ared De&ore( 1t isn't the fact that she has been to
Warrington's= it don't cross his eyes none that she and that brother of hers ha&e actually sat down
and eaten with white folks' taken bread )oin the same bowl as them with their blacknigger fingers(
"he folks at Warrington's are flatlanders' after all' and De&ore tells the silent' attenti&e young men
that he's heard that in places like New ,ork and hicago white women sometimes e&en fuc#
blackniggers!
NawC .arry Auster says' looking around ner&ously' as if he e$pected a few white women to
come tripping through the woods way out here on Bowie Ridge( No white wo'an'd fuc# a nigge$C
Shoot a pic#leC
De&ore only gi&es him a look' the kind that says (hen you'$e 'y age! Besides' he doesn't care
what goes on in New ,ork and hicago= he saw all the flatland he wanted to during the i&il War (
( ( and' he will tell you' he ne&er fought that war to free the damned sla&es( "hey can keep sla&es
down there in the land of cotton until the end of the eternity' as far as 0ared %ancelot De&ore is
concerned( No' he fought in the war to teach those cracker sons of bitches south of #ason and
Di$on that you don't pull out of the game )ust because you don't like some of the rules( .e went
down to scratch the scab off the end of old 0ohnny Reb's nose( "ried to lea&e the ;nited States of
America' they had5 "he %ord5
No' he doesn't care about sla&es and he doesn't care about the land of cotton and he doesn't care
about blackniggers who sing dirty songs and then get treated to champagne and ersters 70ared
always says oyste$s in )ust that sarcastic way8 in payment for their smut( .e doesn't care about
anything so long as they keep in their place and let him keep in his(
But she won't do it( "he uppity bitch will not do it( She has been warned to stay off "he Street'
but she will not listen( She goes anyway' walking along in her white dress )ust as if there was a
white person inside it' sometimes with her son' who has a blacknigger African name and no daddy
3 his daddy probably )ust spent the one night with his mommy in a haystack somewhere down
Alabama and now she walks around with the get of that )ust as bold as a brass monkey( She walks
"he Street as if she has a right to be there' e&en though not a soul will talk to her3
'.ut that's not t$ue, is itB' " as#ed 2evo$e! 'That's what $eally stuc# in old g$eat*g$anddaddy's
c$aw, wasn't itB They did tal# to he$! She had a way a%out he$ + that laugh, 'ay%e! en tal#ed to
he$ a%out c$ops and the wo'en showed off thei$ %a%ies! "n fact they gave he$ thei$ %a%ies to hold
and when she laughed down at the', they laughed %ac# up at he$! The gi$ls as#ed he$ advice a%out
%oys! The %oys ! ! ! they &ust loo#ed! .ut how they loo#ed, huhB They filled up thei$ eyes, and "
expect 'ost of the' thought a%out he$ when they went out to the p$ivy and filled up thei$ pal's!'
2evo$e glowe$ed! He was aging in f$ont of 'e, the lines d$awing the'selves deepe$ and deepe$
into his face7 he was %eco'ing the 'an who had #noc#ed 'e into the la#e %ecause he couldn't %ea$
to %e c$ossed! And as he g$ew olde$ he %egan to fade!
'That was what 6a$ed hated 'ost of all, wasn't itB That they didn't tu$n aside, didn't tu$n away!
She wal#ed on The St$eet and no one t$eated he$ li#e a nigge$! They t$eated he$ li#e a neigh%o$!'
" was in the =one, deepe$ in than "'d eve$ %een, down whe$e the town's unconscious see'ed to
$un li#e a %u$ied $ive$! " could d$in# f$o' that $ive$ while " was in the =one, could fill 'y 'outh
and th$oat and %elly with its cold 'ine$ally taste!
All that su''e$ 2evo$e had tal#ed to the'! They we$e 'o$e than his c$ew, they we$e his %oysD
9$ed and Ha$$y and .en and O$en and 5eo$ge A$'%$uste$ and 2$ape$ 9inney, who would %$ea# his
nec# and d$own the next su''e$ t$ying to dive into Eades Nua$$y while he was d$un#! Only it was
the so$t of accident that's #ind of on pu$pose! 2$ape$ 9inney d$an# a lot %etween 6uly of :;A: and
August of :;AF, %ecause it was the only way he could sleep! The only way he could get the hand
out of his 'ind, that hand stic#ing st$aight out of the wate$, clenching and unclenching until you
wanted to sc$ea' Won't it stop' won't it e&er stop doing that(
All su''e$ long 6a$ed 2evo$e filled thei$ ea$s with nigge$ %itch and uppity %itch! All su''e$
long he told the' a%out thei$ $esponsi%ility as 'en, thei$ duty to #eep the co''unity pu$e, and
how they 'ust see what othe$s didn't and do what othe$s wouldn't!
"t was a Sunday afte$noon in August, a ti'e when t$affic along The St$eet d$opped steeply! 8ate$
on, %y five o$ so, things would %egin to pic# up again, and f$o' six to sunset the %$oad path along
the la#e would %e th$onged! .ut th$ee in the afte$noon was 8ow tide! The ethodists we$e %ac# in
session ove$ in Ha$low fo$ thei$ afte$noon Song Se$vice7 at (a$$ington's the asse'%led co'pany of
vacationing flatlande$s was sitting down to a heavy 'id*afte$noon Sa%%ath 'eal of $oast chic#en o$
ha'7 all ove$ the township fa'ilies we$e add$essing thei$ own Sunday dinne$s! Those who had
al$eady finished we$e snoo=ing th$ough the heat of the day + in a ha''oc#, whe$eve$ possi%le!
Sa$a li#ed this )uiet ti'e! 8oved it, $eally! She had spent a g$eat deal of he$ life on ca$ny 'idways
and in s'o#y gin*&oints, shouting out he$ songs in o$de$ to %e hea$d a%ove the voices of $edfaced,
un$uly d$un#s, and while pa$t of he$ loved the excite'ent and unp$edicta%ility of that life, pa$t of
he$ loved the se$enity of this one, too! The peace of these wal#s! She wasn't getting any younge$,
afte$ all7 she had a #id who had now left pu$t nea$ all his %a%yhood %ehind hi'! On that pa$ticula$
Sunday she 'ust have thought The St$eet al'ost too )uiet! She wal#ed a 'ile south f$o' the
'eadow without seeing a soul even 1ito was gone %y then, having stopped off to pic# %e$$ies! "t
was as if the whole township we$e
deserted( She knows there's an 4astern Star supper in @ashwakamak' of course' has e&en
contributed a mushroom pie to it because she has made friends of some of the 4astern Star ladies(
"hey'll all be down there getting ready( What she doesn't know is that today is also Dedication Day
for the new -race Baptist hurch' the first real church e&er to be built on the "R( A slug of locals
ha&e gone' heathen as well as Baptist( /aintly' from the other side of the lake' she can hear the
#ethodists singing( "he sound is sweet and faint and beautiful'' distance and echo has tuned e&ery
sour &oice(
She isn't aware of the men 3 most of them &ery young men' the kind who under ordinary
circumstances dare only look at her from the corners of their eyes 3 until the oldest one among
them speaks( 'Wellnow' a black whore in a white dress and a red belt5 Damn if that ain't )ust a little
too much color for lakeside( What's wrong with you' whore? an't you take a hint?'
She turns toward him' afraid but not showing it( She has li&ed thirty*si$ years on this earth' has
known what a man has and where he wants to put it since she was ele&en' and she understands that
when men are together like this and full of redeye 7she can smell it8' they gi&e up thinking for
themsel&es and turn into a pack of dogs( 1f you show fear they will fall on you like dogs and likely
tear you apart like dogs(
Also' they ha&e been laying for her( "here can be no other e$planation for them turning up like
this(
'What hint is that' sugar?' she asks' standing her ground( Where is e&eryone? Where can they all
be? -od damn5 Across the lake' the #ethodists ha&e mo&ed on to '"rust and 2bey'' a droner if
there e&er was one(
'"hat you ain't got no business walking where the white folks walk'' .arry Auster says( .is
adolescent &oice breaks into a kind of mouse*s!ueak on the last word and she laughs( She knows
how unwise that is' but she can't help it 3 she's ne&er been able to help her laughter' any more
than she's e&er been able to help the way men like this look at her breasts and bottom( Blame it on
-od!
'Why' 1 walk where 1 do'' she says( '1 was told this was common ground' ain't nobody got a right
to keep me out( Ain't nobody has( ,ou seen em doin it?'
',ou see us now'' -eorge Armbruster says' trying to sound tough(
Sara looks at him with a species of kindly contempt that makes -eorge shri&el up inside( .is
cheeks glow hot red( 'Son'' she says' 'you only come out now because the decent folks is all
somewhere else( Why do you want to let this old fella tell you what to do? Act decent and let a lady
walk('
" see it all! As 2evo$e fades and fades, at last %eco'ing nothing %ut eyes unde$ a %lue cap in the
$ainy afte$noon -th$ough hi' " can see the shatte$ed $e'ains of 'y swi''ing float washing against
the e'%an#'ent/, " see it all! " see he$ as she
starts forward' walking straight at De&ore( 1f she stands here )awing with them' something bad is
going to happen( She feels it' and she ne&er !uestions her tidings( And if she walks at any of the
others' ole massa'll bore in on her from the side' pulling the rest after( 2le massa in the little ole
blue cap is the wheeldog' the one she must face down( She can do it' too( .e's strong' strong
enough to make these boys one creature' his creature' at least for the time being' but he doesn't
ha&e her force' her determination' her energy( 1n a way she welcomes this confrontation( Reg has
warned her to be careful' not to mo&e too fast or try to make real friends until the rednecks 7only
Reggie calls them 'the bull gators'8 show themsel&es 3 how many and how cra+y 3 but she goes
her own course' trusts her own deep instincts( And here they are' only se&en of em' and really )ust
the one bull gator(
"'' st$onge$ than you, ole 'assa, she thinks' walking toward him( She fi$es her eyes on his and
will not let them drop'' his are the ones that drop' his the mouth that !ui&ers uncertainly at one
corner' his the tongue that comes out as !uick as a li+ard's tongue to wet the lips' and all that's
good ( ( ( but e&en better is when he falls back a step( When he does that the rest of them cluster in
two groups of three' and there it is' her way through( /aint and sweet are the #ethodists' faithy
music carrying across the lake's still surface( A droner of a hymn' yes' but sweet across the miles(
(hen we wal# with the 8o$d
in the light of His wo$d,
what a glo$y He sheds on ou$ way ! ! !
"'' st$onge$ than you, suga$, she sends, "'' 'eane$ than you, you 'ay %e the %ull gato$ %ut "''
the )ueen %ee and if you don't want 'e stingin on you, you %est clea$ 'e the $est of 'y path!
',ou bitch'' he says' but his &oice is weak= he is already thinking this isn't the day' there's
something about her he didn't !uite see until he saw her right up close' some blacknigger hougan
he didn't feel until now' better wait for another day' better 3
"hen he trips o&er a root or a rock 7perhaps it's the &ery rock behind which she will finally come
to rest8 and falls down( .is cap falls off' showing the big old bald spot on top of his head( .is pants
split all the way up the seam( And Sara makes a crucial mistake( 6erhaps she underestimates 0ared
De&ore's own &ery considerable personal force' or perhaps she )ust cannot help herself 3 the
sound of his britches ripping is like a loud fart( 1n any case she laughs that raucous' smoke*broken
laugh which is her trademark( And her laugh becomes her doom(
De&ore doesn't think( .e simply gi&es her the leather from where he lies' big feet in pegged
loggers' boots shooting out like pistons( .e hits her where she is thinnest and most &ulnerable' in
the ankles( She hollers in shocked pain as the left one breaks'' she goes down in a tumble' losing
her furled parasol out of one hand( She draws in breath to scream again and 0ared says from
where he is lying' 'Don't let her5 Dassn't let her holler5'
Ben #errill falls on top of her full*length' all one hundred and ninety pounds of him( "he breath
she has drawn to scream with whooshes out in a gusty' almost silent sigh instead( Ben' who has
ne&er e&en danced with a woman' let alone lain on top of one like this' is instantly e$cited by the el
of her struggling beneath him( .e wriggles against her' laughing' and when she rakes her nails
down his cheek he barely feels it( "he way it seems to him' he's all cock and a yard long( When she
tries to roll o&er and get out from under that way' he rolls with her' lets her be on top' and he is
totally surprised when she dri&es her forehead down on his( .e sees stars' but he is eighteen years
old' as strong as he will e&er be' and he loses neither consciousness nor his erection(
2ren 6eebles tears away the back of her dress' laughing( '6ig*pile5' he cries in a breathy little
whisper' and drops on top of her( Now he is dry*humping her topside and Ben is dry*humping )ust
as enthusiastically from underneath' dry*humping like a billygoat e&en with the blood pouring
down the sides of his head from the split in the center of his brow' and she knows that if she can't
scream she is lost( 1f she can scream and if @ito hears' he'll run and get help' run and get Reg 3
But before she can try again' ole massa is s!uatting beside her and showing her a long*bladed
knife( '#ake a sound and 1'll cut your nose off'' he says' and that's when she gi&es up( "hey ha&e
brought her down after all' partly because she laughed at the wrong time' mostly out of pure
buggardly bad luck( Now they will not be stopped' and best that @ito should stay away 3 please
-od keep him back where he was' it was a good patch of berries' one that should keep him
occupied an hour or more( .e lo&es berry*picking' and it won't take these men an hour( .arry
Auster yanks her hair back' tears her dress off one shoulder' and begins to sucker on her neck(
2le massa the only one not at her( 2ld massa standing back' looking both ways along "he
Street' his eyes slitted and wary= old massa look like a mangy timber*wolf done eaten a whole
generation of chickenhouse chickens while managing to a&oid e&ery trap and snare( '.ey 1rish'
!uit on her a minute'' he tells .arry' then widens his wise ga+e to the others( '-et her in the
puckies' you damn fools( -et her in there deep('
"hey don't( "hey can't( "hey are too eager to ha&e her( "hey arm*yank her behind the forehead
of gray rock and call it good( She doesn't pray easily but she prays now( She prays for them to let
her li&e( She prays for @ito to stay clear' to keep filling his bucket slow by eating e&ery third
handful( She prays that if he does take a notion to catch up with her' he will see what's happening
and run the other way as fast as he can' run silent and get Reg(
'Stick this in your mouth'' -eorge Armbruster pants( 'And don't you bite me' you bitch('
"hey take her top and bottom' back and front' two and three at a time( "hey take her where
anybody coming along can't help but see them' and ole massa stands off a little' looking first at the
panting young men grouped around her' kneeling with their trousers down and their thighs
scratched from the bushes they are kneeling in' then he peers up and down the path with his wild
and wary eyes( 1ncredibly' one of them 3 it is /red Dean 3 says 'Sorry' ma'am' after he's shot his
load feels like halfway up to east be)ee+us( 1t's as if he accidentally kicked her in the shin while
crossing his legs(
And it doesn't end( "here's come down her throat' come running down the crack of her ass' the
young one has bitten the blood right out of her left breast' and it doesn't end( "hey are young' and
by the time the last one has finished' the first one' oh -od' the first one is ready again( Across the
ri&er the #ethodists are now singing 'Blessed Assurance' 0esus 1s #ine' and as ole massa
approaches her she thinks' "t's al'ost ove$, wo'an, he the last, hold on hold steady and it %e ove$!
.e looks at the skinny redhead and the one who keeps s!uinching his eye up and tossing his head
and tells them to watch the path' he's going to take his turn now that she's broke in(
.e unbuckles his belt' he unbuttons his flies' he pushes down his underwear 3 dirty black at the
knees and dirty yellow at the crotch*and as he drops a knee on either side of her she sees that ole
massa' s little massa is )ust as floppy as a snake with its neck broke and before she can stop it' that
raucous laugh bursts all une$pected from her again 3 e&en lying here co&ered with the hot )elly
spend of her rapists' she can't help but see the funny side(
'Shut up5' De&ore growls at her' and smashes the heel of one hard hand across her face'
breaking her cheekbone and her nose( 'Shut up that howling5'
'Reckon it might get stiffer if it was one of your boys layin here with his rosy red ass stuck up in
the air' sugar?' she asks' and then' /or the last time' Sara laughs(
De&ore draws his hand back to hit her again' his naked loins lying against her naked loins' his
penis a flaccid worm between them( But before he can bring the hand down a child's &oice cries'
'#a5 What they doin to you' #a? -it off my mama' you bastards5'
She sits up in spite of De&ore's weight' her laughter dying' her wide eyes searching @ito out and
finding him' a slim young boy of eight standing on "he Street' dressed in o&eralls and a straw hat
and brand*new can&as shoes' carrying a tin bucket in one hand( .is lips are blue with )uice( .is
eyes are wide with confusion and fright(
'Run, 1itoC' she screams( 'Run away h + '
Red fire e$plodes in her head'' she swoons back into the bushes' hearing ole massa from a great
distanceA '-et him( Dassn't let him ramble' now('
"hen she's going down a long dark slope' she's lost in a -host .ouse corridor that leads only
deeper and deeper into its own con&oluted bowels'' from that deep falling place she hears him' she
hears' her darling one' he is
sc$ea'ing! " hea$d hi' sc$ea'ing as " #nelt %y the g$ay $oc# with 'y ca$$y*%ag %eside 'e and
no idea how "'d gotten to whe$e " was + " ce$tainly had no 'e'o$y of wal#ing he$e! " was c$ying
in shoc# and ho$$o$ and pity! (as she c$a=yB (ell, no wonde$! No fuc#ing wonde$! The $ain was
steady %ut no longe$ apocalyptic! " sta$ed at 'y fishy*white hands on the g$ay $oc# fo$ a few
seconds, then loo#ed a$ound! 2evo$e and the othe$s we$e gone!
The $ipe and gassy stench of decay filled 'y nose + it was li#e a physical assault! " fu'%led in
the ca$$y*%ag, found the Steno'as# Ro''ie and 5eo$ge had given 'e as a &o#e, and slipped it
ove$ 'y 'outh and nose with finge$s that felt nu'% and distant! " %$eathed shallowly and
tentatively! .ette$! Not a lot, %ut enough to #eep f$o' fleeing, which was undou%tedly what she
wanted!
'NoC' she c$ied f$o' so'ewhe$e %ehind 'e as " g$a%%ed the spade and dug in! " to$e a g$eat
'outh in the g$ound with the fi$st swipe, and each su%se)uent one deepened and widened it! The
ea$th was soft and yielding, woven th$ough with 'ats of thin $oots which pa$ted easily unde$ the
%lade!
'NoC 2on't you da$eC'
" wouldn't loo# a$ound, wouldn't give he$ a chance to push 'e away! She was st$onge$ down
he$e, pe$haps %ecause it had happened he$e! (as that possi%leB " didn't #now and didn't ca$e! All "
ca$ed a%out was getting this done! (he$e the $oots we$e thic#e$, " hac#ed th$ough the' with the
p$uning #nife!
'%ea&e me be5'
Now " did loo# a$ound, $is#ed one )uic# glance %ecause of the unnatu$al c$ac#ling sounds which
had acco'panied he$ voice + which now see'ed to make he$ voice! The 5$een 8ady was gone!
The %i$ch had so'ehow %eco'e Sa$a TidwellD it was Sa$a's face g$owing out of the c$iss*c$ossing
%$anches and shiny leaves! That $ain*slic#ed face swayed, dissolved, ca'e togethe$, 'elted away,
ca'e togethe$ again! 9o$ a 'o'ent all the 'yste$y " had sensed down he$e was $evealed! He$ da'p
shifting eyes we$e utte$ly hu'an! They sta$ed at 'e with hate and supplication!
'" ain't doneC' she c$ied in a c$ac#ed, %$ea#ing voice! 'He was the wo$st, don't you unde$standB He
was the wo$st and it's his %lood in he$ and " won't $est until 1 ha&e it out5'
The$e was a g$ueso'e $ipping sound! She had inha%ited the %i$ch, 'ade it into a physical %ody
of so'e so$t and intended to tea$ it f$ee of the ea$th! She would co'e and get 'e with it if she
could7 #ill 'e with it if she could! St$angle 'e in li'%e$ %$anches! Stuff 'e with leaves until "
loo#ed li#e a 3h$ist'as deco$ation!
'No 'atte$ how 'uch of a 'onste$ he was, 1y$a had nothing to do with what he did,' " said! 'And
you won't have he$!'
',es " will5' the 5$een 8ady sc$ea'ed! The $ipping, $ending sounds we$e loude$ now! They we$e
&oined %y a hissing, sha#y c$ac#le! " didn't loo# a$ound again! " didn't dare loo# a$ound! " dug faste$
instead! ',es " will have he$C' she c$ied, and now the voice was close$! She was co'ing fo$ 'e %ut "
$efused to see7 when it co'es to wal#ing t$ees and %ushes, "'ll stic# to #acbeth, than#s! '" will have
he$C He too# 'ine and 1 mean to take his5'
'5o away,' a new voice said!
The spade loosened in 'y hands, al'ost fell! " tu$ned and saw 6o standing %elow 'e and to 'y
$ight! She was loo#ing at Sa$a, who had 'ate$iali=ed into a lunatic's hallucination + a 'onst$ous
g$eenish*%lac# thing that slipped with eve$y step it t$ied to wal# along The St$eet! She had left the
%i$ch %ehind yet assu'ed its vitality so'ehow + the actual t$ee huddled %ehind he$, %lac# and
sh$ivelled and dead! The c$eatu$e %o$n of it loo#ed li#e the .$ide of 9$an#enstein as sculpted %y
0icasso! "n it, Sa$a's face ca'e and went, ca'e and went!
"he Shape, " thought coldly! 1t was always real ( ( ( and if it was always me' it was always her'
too(
6o was d$essed in the white shi$t and yellow slac#s she'd had on the day she died! " couldn't see
the la#e th$ough he$ as " had %een a%le to see it th$ough 2evo$e and 2evo$e's young f$iends7 she
had 'ate$iali=ed he$self co'pletely! " felt a cu$ious draining sensation at the %ac# of 'y s#ull and
thought " #new how!
'5it out, %itchC' the Sa$a*thing sna$led! "t $aised its a$'s towa$d 6o as it had $aised the' to 'e in
'y wo$st night'a$es!
'Not at all!' 6o's voice $e'ained cal'! She tu$ned towa$d 'e! 'Hu$$y, i#e! ,ou have to %e )uic#!
"t's not $eally he$ any'o$e! She's let one of the Outside$s in, and they'$e ve$y dange$ous!'
'6o, " love you!'
'" love you t + '
Sa$a sh$ie#ed and then %egan to spin! 8eaves and %$anches %lu$$ed togethe$ and lost cohe$ence7 it
was li#e watching so'ething li)uefy in a %lende$! The entity which had only loo#ed a little li#e a
wo'an to %egin with now d$opped its 'as)ue$ade enti$ely! So'ething ele'ental and g$otes)uely
inhu'an %egan to fo$' out of the 'aelst$o'! "t leaped at 'y wife! (hen it st$uc# he$, the colo$
and solidity left 6o as if slapped away %y a huge hand! She %eca'e a phanto' st$uggling with the
thing which $aved and sh$ie#ed and clawed at he$!
'.urry' #ike5' she sc$ea'ed! '.urry5'
" %ent to the &o%!
The spade st$uc# so'ething that wasn't di$t, wasn't stone, wasn't wood! " sc$aped along it,
$evealing a filthy 'old*c$usted swatch of canvas! Now " dug li#e a 'ad'an, wanting to clea$ as
'uch of the %u$ied o%&ect as " could, wanting to fatten 'y chances of success as 'uch as " could!
.ehind 'e, the Shape sc$ea'ed in fu$y and 'y wife sc$ea'ed in pain! Sa$a had given up pa$t of
he$ disco$po$ate self in o$de$ to gain he$ $evenge, had let in so'ething 6o called an Outside$! " had
no idea what that 'ight %e and neve$ wanted to #now! Sa$a was its conduit, " #new that 'uch! And
if " could ta#e ca$e of he$ in ti'e +
" $eached into the d$ipping hole, slapping wet ea$th f$o' the ancient canvas! 9aint stencilled
lette$s appea$ed when " didD 6!! 33UR2"E SA("88! ccu$die's had %u$ned in the fi$es of 'GG, "
#new! "'d seen a pictu$e of it in fla'es so'ewhe$e! As " sei=ed the canvas, the tips of 'y finge$s
punching th$ough and letting out a f$esh %illow of g$een and gassy stench, " could hea$ g$unting! "
could hea$
De&ore( .e's lying on top of her and grunting like a pig( Sara is semiconscious' muttering
unintelligibly through bruised lips which are shiny with blood( De&ore is looking back o&er his
shoulder at Draper /inney and /red Dean( "hey ha&e raced after the boy and brought him back'
but he won't stop yelling' he's yelling to beat the band' yelling to wake the dead' and if they can
hear the #ethodists singing '.ow 1 %o&e to "ell the Story' o&er here' then they may be able to hear
the yowling nigger o&er there( De&ore says '6ut him in the water' shut him up(' "he minute he says
it' as though the words are magic words' his cock begins to stiffen(
'What do you mean?' Ben #errill asks(
',ou know goddam well'' 0ared says( .e pants the words out' )erking his hips as he speaks( .is
narrow ass gleams in the afternoon light( '.e seen us5 ,ou want to cut his throat' get his blood all
o&er you? /ine by me( .ere( "ake my knife' be my guest5'
'N*No' 0ared5' Ben cries in horror' actually seeming to cringe at the sight of the knife(
.e is finally ready( 1t takes him a little longer' that's all' he ain't a kid like these other ones( But
now 3 5 Ne&er mind her smart mouth' ne&er mind her insolent way of laughing' ne&er mind the
whole township( %et them all show up and watch if they like( .e slips it to her' what she's wanted
all along' what all her kind want( .e slips it in and sinks it deep( .e continues gi&ing orders e&en
as he rapes her( ;p and down his ass goes' tick*tock' )ust like a cat's tail( 'Somebody take care of
him5 2r do you want to spend forty years rotting in Shawshank because of a nigger boy's tattle?'
Ben sei+es one of @ito "idwell's arms' 2ren 6eebles the other' but by the time they ha&e dragged
him as far as the embankment they ha&e lost their heart( Raping an uppity nigger woman with the
gall to laugh at 0ared when he fell down and split his britches is one thing( Drowning a scared kid
like a kitten in a mud*puddle ( ( ( that's another one altogether(
"hey loosen their grip' staring into each other's haunted eyes' and @ito pulls free(
'Run' honey5' Sara cries( 'Run away and get 3 '0ared clamps his hands around her throat and
begins choking(
"he boy trips o&er his own berry bucket and thumps gracelessly to the ground( .arry and
Draper recapture him easily( 'What you going to do? ' Draper asks in a kind of desperate whine'
and .arry replies
'(hat " have to!' That's what he $eplied, and now " was going to do what " had to + in spite of
the stench, in spite of Sa$a, in spite of 'y dead wife's sh$ie#s! " hauled the $oll of canvas out of the
g$ound! The $opes which had tied it shut at eithe$ end held, %ut the $oll itself split down the 'iddle
with a hideous %u$ping sound!
'.urry5' 6o c$ied! '1 can't hold it much longer5'
"t sna$led7 it %ayed li#e a dog! The$e was a loud wooden c$unch, li#e a doo$ %eing sla''ed ha$d
enough to splinte$, and 6o wailed! " g$a%%ed fo$ the ca$$y*%ag with Slips 'n 5$eens p$inted on the
f$ont and to$e it open as
.arry 3 the others call him 1rish because of his carrot*colored hair 3 grabs the struggling kid
in a clumsy kind of bearhug and )umps into the lake with him( "he kid struggles harder than e&er''
his straw hat comes off and floats on the water( '-et that5' .arry pants( /red Dean kneels and
fishes out the dripping hat( /red's eyes are da+ed' he's got the look of a fighter about one round
from hitting the can&as( Behind them Sara "idwell has begun to rattle deep in her chest and throat
like the sight of the boy's clenching hand' these sounds will haunt Draper /inney until his final di&e
into 4ades Quarry( 0ared sinks his fingers deeper' pumping and choking at the same time' the
sweat pouring off him( No amount of washing will take the smell of that sweat out of these clothes'
and when he begins to think of it as 'murder*sweat'' he burns the clothes to get shed of it(
.arry Auster wants to be shed of it all to be shed of it and ne&er see these men again' most of all
0ared De&ore' who he now thinks must be %ord Satan himself( .arry cannot go home and face his
father unless this nightmare is o&er' buried( And his mother5 .ow can he e&er face his belo&ed
mother' Bridget Auster with her round sweet 1rish face and graying hair and comforting shelf of
bosom' Bridget who has always had a kind word or a soothing handler him' Bridget Auster who
has been Sa&ed' shed in the Blood of the %amb' Bridget Auster who is e&en now ser&ing pies at the
picnic they're ha&ing at the new church' Bridget Auster who is mamma= how can he e&er look at
her again 3 or she him 3 if he has to stand in court on a charge of raping and beating a woman'
e&en a black woman?
So he yanks the clinging boy away 3 @ito scratches him once' )ust a nick on the side of the neck'
and that night .arry will tell his mamma it was a bush*pricker that caught him unawares and he
will let her put a kiss on it 3 and then he plunges the child into the lake( @ito looks up at him' his
face shimmering' and .arry sees a little fish flick by( A perch' he thinks( /or an instant he wonders
what the boy must see' looking up through the sil&er shield of the surface at the face of the fellow
who's holding him down' the fellow who's drowning him' and then .arry pushes that away( 6ust a
nigge$, he reminds himself desperately( That's all he is, &ust a nigge$! No #in of you$s!
@ito's arm comes out of the water 3 his dripping dark*brown arm( .arry pulls back' not
wanting to be clawed' but the hand doesn't reach for him' only sticks straight up( "he fingers curl
into a fist( 2pen( url into a fist( 2pen( url into a fist( "he boy's thrashing begins to ease' the
kicking feet begin to slow down' the eyes looking up into .arry's eyes are taking on a curiously
dreamy look' and still that brown arm sticks straight up' still the hand opens and closes' opens and
closes( Draper /inney stands on the shore crying' sure that now someone will come along' now
someone will see the terrible thing they ha&e done 3 the terrible thing they are in fact still doing(
.e su$e you$ sin will find you out, it says in the 5ood .oo#! .e su$e! .e opens his mouth to tell
.arry to !uit' maybe it's still not too late to take it back' let him up' let him li&e' but no sound
comes out( Behind him Sara is choking her last( 1n front of him her drowning son's hand opens and
closes' opens and closes' the reflection of it shimmering on the water' and Draper thinks (on't it
stop doing that, won't it eve$ stop doing thatB And as if it were a prayer that something is now
answering' the boy's locked elbow begins to bend and his arm begins to sag= the fingers begin to
close again into a fist and then stop( /or a moment the hand wa&ers and then
" sla''ed the heel of 'y hand into the cente$ of 'y fo$ehead to clea$ these phanto's away!
.ehind 'e the$e was a f$en=ied snap and c$ac#le of wet %ushes as 6o and whateve$ she was holding
%ac# continued to st$uggle! " put 'y hands inside the split in the canvas li#e a docto$ sp$eading a
wound! " yan#ed! The$e was a low $ipping sound as the $oll to$e the $est of the way up and down!
"nside was what $e'ained of the' + two yellowed s#ulls, fo$ehead to fo$ehead as if in inti'ate
conve$sation, a wo'an's faded $ed leathe$ %elt, a 'olde$ of clothes ! ! ! and a heap of %ones! Two
$i%cages, one la$ge and one s'all! Two sets of legs, one long and one sho$t! The ea$ly $e'ains of
Sa$a and 1ito Tidwell, %u$ied he$e %y the la#e fo$ al'ost a hund$ed yea$s!
The la$ge$ of the two s#ulls tu$ned! "t gla$ed at 'e with its e'pty eyesoc#ets! "ts teeth chatte$ed
as if it would %ite 'e, and the %ones %elow it %egan a tene%$ous, &itte$y sti$$ing! So'e %$o#e apa$t
i''ediately7 all we$e soft and pitted! The $ed %elt sti$$ed $estlessly and the $usty %uc#le $ose li#e
the head of a sna#e!
'#ike5' 6o sc$ea'ed! 'Quick' !uick5'
" pulled the sac# out of the ca$$y*%ag and g$a%%ed the plastic %ottle which had %een inside! 8ye
stille, the agna%et lette$s had said7 anothe$ little wo$d*t$ic#! Anothe$ 'essage passed %ehind the
unsuspecting gua$d's %ac#! Sa$a Tidwell was a fea$so'e c$eatu$e, %ut she had unde$esti'ated
6o ! ! ! and she had unde$esti'ated the telepathy of long association, as well! " had gone to Slips 'n
5$eens, " had %ought a %ottle of lye, and now " opened it and pou$ed it, s'o#ing, ove$ the %ones of
Sa$a and he$ son!
The$e was a hissing sound li#e the one you hea$ when you open a %ee$ o$ a %ottled soft d$in#!
The %elt*%uc#le 'elted! The %ones tu$ned white and c$u'pled li#e things 'ade out of suga$ + "
had a night'a$e i'age of exican child$en eating candy co$pses off long stic#s on the 2ay of the
2ead! The eyesoc#ets of Sa$a's s#ull widened as the lye filled the da$# hollow whe$e he$ 'ind, he$
p$odigious talent, and he$ laughing soul had once $esided! "t was an exp$ession that loo#ed at fi$st
li#e su$p$ise and then li#e so$$ow!
The &aw fell off7 the nu%s of the teeth si==led away!
The top of the s#ull caved in!
Sp$ead finge$%ones &itte$ed, then 'elted!
'2hhhhhh ( ( ( '
"t whispe$ed th$ough the soa#ing t$ees li#e a $ising wind ! ! ! only the wind had died as the wet ai$
caught its %$eath %efo$e the next onslaught! "t was a sound of unspea#a%le g$ief and longing and
su$$ende$! " sensed no hate in it7 he$ hate was gone, %u$ned away in the co$$osive " had %ought in
Helen Auste$'s shop! The sound of Sa$a's going was $eplaced %y the plaintive, al'ost hu'an c$y of
a %i$d, and it awa#ened 'e f$o' the place whe$e " had %een, %$ought 'e finally and co'pletely out
of the =one! " got sha#ily to 'y feet, tu$ned a$ound, and loo#ed at The St$eet!
6o was still the$e, a di' fo$' th$ough which " could now see the la#e and the da$# clouds of the
next thunde$s)uall co'ing ove$ the 'ountains! So'ething flic#e$ed %eyond he$ + that %i$d
ventu$ing out of its safe cove$t fo$ a pee# at the $e*a$$anged envi$on'ent, pe$haps + %ut " %a$ely
$egiste$ed that! "t was 6o " wanted to see, 6o who had co'e 5od #new how fa$ and suffe$ed 5od
#new how 'uch to help 'e! She loo#ed exhausted, hu$t, in so'e funda'ental way di'inished! .ut
the othe$ thing + the Outside$ + was gone! 6o, standing in a $ing of %i$ch leaves so dead they
loo#ed cha$$ed, tu$ned to 'e and s'iled!
'6oC (e did itC'
He$ 'outh 'oved! " hea$d the sound, %ut the wo$ds we$e too distant to 'a#e out! She was
standing $ight the$e, %ut she 'ight have %een calling ac$oss a wide canyon! Still, " unde$stood he$! "
$ead the wo$ds off he$ lips if you p$efe$ the $ational, $ight out of he$ 'ind if you p$efe$ the
$o'antical! " p$efe$ the latte$! a$$iage is a =one, too, you #now! a$$iage is a =one!
3 So that's all right' isn't it?
" glanced down into the gaping $oll of canvas and saw nothing %ut stu%s and splinte$s stic#ing
out of a noxious, uneasy paste! " got a whiff, and even th$ough the Steno'as# it 'ade 'e cough
and %ac# away! Not co$$uption7 lye! (hen " loo#ed %ac# a$ound at 6o, she was %a$ely the$e!
'6oC (aitC'
3 an't help( an't stay(
(o$ds f$o' anothe$ sta$ syste', %a$ely gli'psed on a fading 'outh! Now she was little 'o$e
than eyes floating in the da$# afte$noon, eyes which see'ed 'ade of the la#e %ehind the'!
3 .urry ( ( (
She was gone! " slipped and stu'%led to the place whe$e she'd %een, 'y feet c$unching ove$ dead
%i$ch leaves, and g$a%%ed at nothing! (hat a fool " 'ust have loo#ed, soa#ed to the s#in, wea$ing a
Steno'as# as#ew ove$ the lowe$ half of 'y face, t$ying to e'%$ace the wet g$ay ai$!
" got the faintest whiff of Red pe$fu'e ! ! ! and then only da'p ea$th, la#ewate$, and the vile
stin# of lye $unning unde$ eve$ything! At least the s'ell of put$efaction was gone7 that had %een no
'o$e $eal than ! ! !
Than whatB Than whatB Eithe$ it was all $eal o$ none of it was $eal! "f none of it was $eal, " was
out of 'y 'ind and $eady fo$ the .lue (ing at 6unipe$ Hill! " loo#ed ove$ towa$d the g$ay $oc# and
saw the %ag of %ones " had pulled out of the wet g$ound li#e a feste$ing tooth! 8a=y tend$ils of
s'o#e we$e still $ising f$o' its $ipped length! "hat 'uch was $eal! So was the 5$een 8ady, who
was now a soot*colo$ed .lac# 8ady + as dead as the dead %$anch %ehind he$, the one that see'ed
to point li#e an a$'!
an't help ( ( ( can't stay ( ( ( hurry(
3ouldn't help with whatB (hat 'o$e help did " needB "t was done, wasn't itB Sa$a was goneD
spi$it follows %one, good night sweet ladies, 5od g$ant she lye stille!
And still a #ind of stin#ing te$$o$, not so diffe$ent f$o' the s'ell of put$escence which had co'e
out of the g$ound, see'ed to sweat out of the ai$7 1y$a's na'e %egan to %eat in 'y head, @i*@i' @i*
@i' @i*@i, li#e the call of so'e exotic t$opical %i$d! " sta$ted up the $ail$oad*tie steps to the house,
and although " was exhausted, %y the ti'e " was halfway up " had %egun to $un!
" cli'%ed the stai$s to the dec# and went in that way! The house loo#ed the sa'e + save fo$ the
%$o#en t$ee po#ing in th$ough the #itchen window, Sa$a 8aughs had stood up to the sto$' ve$y well
+ %ut so'ething was w$ong! The$e was so'ething " could al'ost s'ell ! ! ! and pe$haps " did
s'ell it, %itte$ and low! 8unacy 'ay have its own wild*vetch a$o'a! "t's not the #ind of thing "
would eve$ ca$e to $esea$ch!
"n the f$ont hall " stopped, loo#ing down at a heap of pape$%ac# %oo#s, El'o$e 8eona$ds and Ed
c%ains, lying on the floo$! As if they had %een $a#ed off the shelf %y a passing hand! A flailing
hand, 'ay%e! " could also see 'y t$ac#s the$e, %oth co'ing and going! They had al$eady %egun to
d$y! They should have %een the only ones7 " had %een ca$$ying 1i when we ca'e in! They should
have %een, %ut they we$en't! The othe$s we$e s'alle$, %ut not so s'all that " 'istoo# the' fo$ a
child's!
" $an down the hall to the no$th %ed$oo' c$ying he$ na'e, and " 'ight as well have %een c$ying
#attie o$ 0o o$ Sara! 3o'ing out of 'y 'outh, 1y$a's na'e sounded li#e the na'e of a co$pse!
The duvet had %een th$own %ac# onto the floo$! Except fo$ the %lac# stuffed dog, lying whe$e it had
in 'y d$ea', the %ed was e'pty! And 1i was gone!
3HA0TER T(ENT,*N"NE
" $eached fo$ 1i with the pa$t of 'y 'ind that had fo$ the last few wee#s #nown what she was
wea$ing, what $oo' of the t$aile$ she was in, and what she was doing the$e! The$e was nothing, of
cou$se + that lin# was also dissolved!
" called fo$ 6o + " thin# " did + %ut 6o was gone, too! " was on 'y own! 5od help 'e! 5od help
us %oth! " could feel panic t$ying to descend and fought it off! " had to #eep 'y 'ind clea$! "f "
couldn't thin#, any chance 1i 'ight still have would %e lost! " wal#ed $apidly %ac# down the hall to
the foye$, t$ying not to hea$ the sic# voice in the %ac# of 'y head, the one saying that 1i was lost
al$eady, dead al$eady! " #new no such thing, couldn't #now it now that the connection %etween us
was %$o#en!
" loo#ed down at the heap of %oo#s, then up at the doo$! The new t$ac#s had co'e in this way
and gone out this way, too! 8ightning st$o#ed the s#y and thunde$ c$ac#ed! The wind was $ising
again! " went to the doo$, $eached fo$ the #no%, then paused! So'ething was caught in the c$ac#
%etween the doo$ and the &a'%, so'ething as fine and floaty as a st$and of spide$'s sil#!
A single white hai$!
" loo#ed at it with a sic# lac# of su$p$ise! " should have #nown, of cou$se, and if not fo$ the st$ain
"'d %een unde$ and the successive shoc#s of this te$$i%le day, " would have #nown! "t was all on the
tape 6ohn had played fo$ 'e that 'o$ning ! ! ! a ti'e that al$eady see'ed pa$t of anothe$ 'an's life!
9o$ one thing, the$e was the ti'e*chec# 'a$#ing the point whe$e 6ohn had hung up on he$! Nine*
forty A!!, 4astern Daylight, the $o%ot voice had said, which 'eant that Rogette had %een calling at
six*fo$ty in the 'o$ning ! ! ! if, that was, she'd $eally %een calling f$o' 0al' Sp$ings! That was at
least possi%le7 had the oddity occu$$ed to 'e while we we$e d$iving f$o' the ai$po$t to attie's
t$aile$, " would have told 'yself that the$e we$e no dou%t inso'niacs all ove$ 3alifo$nia who
finished thei$ East 3oast %usiness %efo$e the sun had hauled itself fully ove$ the ho$i=on, and good
fo$ the'! .ut the$e was so'ething else that couldn't %e explained away so easily!
At one point 6ohn had e&ected the tape! He did it %ecause, he said, "'d gone as white as a sheet
instead of loo#ing a'used! " had told hi' to go on and play the $est7 it had &ust su$p$ised 'e to hea$
he$ again! "he !uality of her &oice( hrist' the reproduction is good( Except it was $eally the %oys
in the %ase'ent who had $eacted to 6ohn's tape7 'y su%conscious co*conspi$ato$s! And it hadn't
%een he$ voice that had sca$ed the' %adly enough to tu$n 'y face white! The unde$hu' had done
that! The cha$acte$istic unde$hu' you always got on TR calls, %oth those you 'ade and those you
$eceived!
Rogette (hit'o$e had neve$ left TR*;A at all! "f 'y failing to $eali=e that this 'o$ning cost 1i
2evo$e he$ life this afte$noon, " wouldn't %e a%le to live with 'yself! " told 5od that ove$ and ove$
as " went plunging down the $ail$oad*tie steps again, $unning into the face of a $evitali=ed sto$'!
"t's a %lue*eyed wonde$ " didn't go flying $ight off the e'%an#'ent! Half 'y swi''ing float had
g$ounded the$e, and pe$haps " could have i'paled 'yself on its splinte$ed %oa$ds and died li#e a
va'pi$e w$ithing on a sta#e! (hat a pleasant thought that was!
Running isn't good fo$ people nea$ panic7 it's li#e sc$atching poison ivy! .y the ti'e " had
th$own 'y a$' a$ound one of the pines at the foot of the steps to chec# 'y p$og$ess, " was on the
edge of losing all cohe$ent thought! 1i's na'e was %eating in 'y head again, so loudly the$e wasn't
$oo' fo$ 'uch else!
Then a st$o#e of lightning leaped out of the s#y to 'y $ight and #noc#ed the last th$ee feet of
t$un# out f$o' %eneath a huge old sp$uce which had p$o%a%ly %een he$e when Sa$a and 1ito we$e
still alive! "f "'d %een loo#ing di$ectly at it " would have %een %linded7 even with 'y head tu$ned
th$ee*)ua$te$s away, the st$o#e left a huge %lue swatch li#e the afte$'ath of a gigantic ca'e$a flash
floating in f$ont of 'y eyes! The$e was a g$inding, &udde$ing sound as two hund$ed feet of %lue
sp$uce toppled into the la#e, sending up a long cu$tain of sp$ay, which see'ed to hang %etween the
g$ay s#y and g$ay wate$! The stu'p was on fi$e in the $ain, %u$ning li#e a witch's hat!
"t had the effect of a slap, clea$ing 'y head and giving 'e one final chance to use 'y %$ain! "
too# a %$eath and fo$ced 'yself to do &ust that! (hy had " co'e down he$e in the fi$st placeB (hy
did " thin# Rogette had %$ought 1y$a towa$d the la#e, whe$e " had &ust %een, instead of ca$$ying he$
away f$o' 'e, up the d$iveway to 8ane 9o$ty*twoB
Don't be stupid( She came down here because "he Street's the way back to Warrington's' and
Warrington's is where she's been' all by herself' e&er since she sent the boss's body back to
alifornia in his pri&ate )et(
She had snea#ed into the house while " was unde$ 6o's studio, finding the tin %ox in the %elly of
the owl and studying that sc$ap of genealogy! She would have ta#en 1i then if "'d given he$ the
chance, %ut " didn't! " ca'e hu$$ying %ac#, af$aid so'ething was w$ong, af$aid so'eone 'ight %e
t$ying to get hold of the #id +
Had Rogette awa#ened he$B Had 1i seen he$ and t$ied to wa$n 'e %efo$e d$ifting off againB (as
that what had %$ought 'e in such a hu$$yB ay%e! "'d still %een in the =one then, we'd still %een
lin#ed then! Rogette had ce$tainly %een in the house when " ca'e %ac#! She 'ight even have %een
in the no$th*%ed$oo' closet and pee$ing at 'e th$ough the c$ac#! 0a$t of 'e had #nown it, too! 0a$t
of 'e had felt he$, felt so'ething that was not*Sa$a!
Then "'d left again! 5$a%%ed the ca$$y*%ag f$o' Slips 'n 5$eens and co'e down he$e! Tu$ned
$ight, tu$ned no$th! Towa$d the %i$ch, the $oc#, the %ag of %ones! "'d done what " had to do, and
while " was doing it, Rogette ca$$ied 1y$a down the $ail$oad*tie steps %ehind 'e and tu$ned left on
The St$eet! Tu$ned south towa$d (a$$ington's! (ith a sin#ing feeling deep in 'y %elly, " $eali=ed "
had p$o%a%ly hea$d 1i ! ! ! 'ight even have seen he$! That %i$d pee#ing ti'idly out f$o' cove$
du$ing the lull had %een no %i$d! 1i was awa#e %y then, 1i had seen 'e + pe$haps had seen 6o, as
well + and t$ied to call out! She had 'anaged &ust that one little peep %efo$e Rogette had cove$ed
he$ 'outh!
How long ago had that %eenB "t see'ed li#e fo$eve$, %ut " had an idea it hadn't %een long at all +
less than five 'inutes, 'ay%e! .ut it doesn't ta#e long to d$own a child! The i'age of 1ito's %a$e
a$' stic#ing st$aight out of the wate$ t$ied to co'e %ac# + the hand at the end of it opening and
closing, opening and closing, as if it we$e t$ying to %$eathe fo$ the lungs that couldn't + and "
pushed it away! " also supp$essed the u$ge to si'ply sp$int in the di$ection of (a$$ington's! 0anic
would ta#e 'e fo$ su$e if " did that!
"n all the yea$s since he$ death " had neve$ longed fo$ 6o with the %itte$ intensity " felt then! .ut
she was gone7 the$e wasn't even a whispe$ of he$! (ith no one to depend on %ut 'yself, " sta$ted
south along the t$ee*litte$ed St$eet, s#i$ting the %lowdowns whe$e " could, c$awling unde$ the' if
they %loc#ed 'y way enti$ely, ta#ing the noisy %$anch*%$ea#ing cou$se ove$ the top only as a last
$eso$t! As " went " issued what " i'agine a$e all the standa$d p$aye$s in such a situation, %ut none of
the' see'ed to get past the i'age of Rogette (hit'o$e's face $ising in 'y 'ind! He$ sc$ea'ing,
'e$ciless face!
" $e'e'%e$ thin#ing "his is the outdoor &ersion of the -host .ouse( 3e$tainly the woods see'ed
haunted to 'e as " st$uggled alongD t$ees only loosened in the fi$st g$and %low we$e falling %y the
sco$e in this follow*up cap of wind and $ain! The noise was li#e g$eat c$unching footfalls, and "
didn't need to wo$$y a%out the noise 'y own feet we$e 'a#ing! (hen " passed the .atchelde$s'
ca'p, a ci$cula$ p$efa% const$uction sitting on an outc$op of $oc# li#e a hat on a footstool, " saw
that the enti$e $oof had %een %ashed flat %y a he'loc#!
Half a 'ile south of Sa$a " saw one of 1i's white hai$ $i%%ons lying in the path! " pic#ed it up,
thin#ing how 'uch that $ed edging loo#ed li#e %lood! Then " stuffed it into 'y poc#et and went on!
9ive 'inutes late$ " ca'e to an old 'oss*ca#ed pine that had fallen ac$oss the path7 it was still
connected to its stu'p %y a st$etched and %ent netwo$# of splinte$s, and s)ualled li#e a line of $usty
hinges as the su$ging wate$ lifted and d$opped what had %een its uppe$ twenty o$ thi$ty feet, now
floating in the la#e! The$e was space to c$awl unde$, and when " d$opped to 'y #nees " saw othe$
#nee*t$ac#s, &ust %eginning to fill with wate$! " saw so'ething elseD the second hai$ $i%%on! " tuc#ed
it into 'y poc#et with the fi$st!
" was halfway unde$ the pine when " hea$d anothe$ t$ee go ove$, this one 'uch close$! The sound
was followed %y a sc$ea' + not pain o$ fea$ %ut su$p$ised ange$! Then, even ove$ the hiss of the
$ain and the wind, " could hea$ Rogette's voiceD 'ome back5 Don't go out there' it's dangerous5'
" s)ui$'ed the $est of the way unde$ the t$ee, %a$ely feeling the stu'p of a %$anch which to$e a
g$oove in 'y lowe$ %ac#, got to 'y feet, and sp$inted along the path! "f the fallen t$ees " ca'e to
we$e s'all, " hu$dled the' without slowing down! "f they we$e %igge$, " sc$a%%led ove$ with no
thought to whe$e they 'ight claw o$ dig in! Thunde$ whac#ed! The$e was a %$illiant st$o#e of
lightning, and in its gla$e " saw g$ay %a$n%oa$d th$ough the t$ees! On the day "'d fi$st seen Rogette
"'d only %een a%le to catch gli'pses of (a$$ington's lodge, %ut now the fo$est had %een to$n open
li#e an old ga$'ent + this a$ea would %e yea$s $ecove$ing! The lodge's $ea$ half had %een p$etty
well de'olished %y a pai$ of huge t$ees that see'ed to have fallen togethe$! They had c$ossed li#e a
#nife and fo$# on a dine$'s plate and lay on the $uins in a shaggy >!
1i's voice, $ising ove$ the sto$' only %ecause it was sh$ill with te$$o$D '-o away5 1 don't want
you' white nana5 -o away5' "t was ho$$i%le to hea$ the te$$o$ in he$ voice, %ut wonde$ful to hea$ he$
voice at all!
A%out fo$ty feet f$o' whe$e Rogette's shout had f$o=en 'e in place, one 'o$e t$ee lay ac$oss the
path! Rogette he$self stood on the fa$ side of it, holding a hand out to 1i! The hand was d$ipping
%lood, %ut " ha$dly noticed! "t was 1y$a " noticed! The doc# $unning %etween The St$eet and The
Sunset .a$ was a long one + seventy feet at least, pe$haps a hund$ed! 8ong enough so that on a
p$etty su''e$ evening you could st$oll it hand*in*hand with you$ date o$ you$ love$ and 'a#e a
'e'o$y! The sto$' hadn't to$n it away + not yet + %ut the wind had twisted it li#e a $i%%on! "
$e'e'%e$ news$eel footage at so'e childhood Satu$day 'atinee, fil' of a suspension %$idge
dancing in a hu$$icane, and that was what the doc# %etween (a$$ing*ton's and The Sunset .a$
loo#ed li#e! "t &ounced up and down in the su$ging wate$, g$oaning in all its slatted &oints li#e a
wooden acco$dion! The$e had %een a $ail + p$esu'a%ly to guide those who'd 'ade a heavy night
of it safely %ac# to sho$e + %ut it was gone now! 1y$a was halfway out along this swaying,
dipping length of wood! " could see at least th$ee $ectangles of %lac#ness %etween the sho$e and
whe$e she stood, places whe$e %oa$ds had snapped off! 9$o' %eneath the doc# ca'e the distu$%ed
clung*clung*clung of the e'pty steel d$u's that we$e holding it up! Seve$al of these d$u's had
co'e unancho$ed and we$e floating away! 1i had he$ a$'s st$etched out fo$ %alance li#e a
tight$ope wal#e$ in the ci$cus! The %lac# Ha$ley*2avidson tee*shi$t flapped a$ound he$ #nees and
sun%u$ned shoulde$s!
'ome back5' Rogette c$ied! He$ lan# hai$ flew a$ound he$ head7 the shiny %lac# $aincoat she was
wea$ing $ippled! She was holding %oth hands out now, one %loody and one not! " had an idea 1i
'ight have %itten he$!
'No' white nana5' 1i shoo# he$ head in wild negation and " wanted to tell he$ don't do that, 1i*
%i$d, don't sha#e you$ head li#e that, ve$y %ad idea! She totte$ed, one a$' pointed up at the s#y and
one down at the wate$ so she loo#ed fo$ a 'o'ent li#e an ai$plane in a steep %an#! "f the doc# had
pic#ed that 'o'ent to ta#e a ha$d %uc# %eneath he$, 1i would have spilled off the side! She
$egained so'e p$eca$ious %alance instead, although " thought " saw he$ %a$e feet slide a little on the
slic# %oa$ds! '-o away' white nana' 1 don't want you5 -o ( ( ( go take a nap' you look tired5'
1i didn't see 'e7 all he$ attention was fixed on the white nana! The white nana didn't see 'e,
eithe$! " d$opped to 'y %elly and s)ui$'ed unde$ the t$ee, pulling 'yself along with 'y clawed
hands! Thunde$ $olled ac$oss the la#e li#e a %ig 'ahogany %all, the sound echoing off the
'ountains! (hen " got to 'y #nees again, " saw that Rogette was advancing slowly towa$d the
sho$e end of the doc#! 9o$ eve$y step she too# fo$wa$d, 1y$a too# a sha#y, dange$ous step
%ac#wa$d! Rogette was holding he$ good hand out, though fo$ a 'o'ent " thought this one had
%egun to %leed as well! The stuff $unning th$ough he$ %unchy finge$s was too da$# fo$ %lood,
howeve$, and when she %egan to tal#, spea#ing in a hideous coaxing voice that 'ade 'y s#in
c$awl, " $eali=ed it was 'elting chocolate!
'8et's play the ga'e, 1i*%i$d,' Rogette cooed! '2o you want to sta$tB' She too# a step! 1i too# a
co'pensato$y step %ac#wa$d, totte$ed, caught he$ %alance! y hea$t stopped, then $esu'ed $acing!
" closed the distance %etween 'yself and the wo'an as $apidly as " could, %ut " didn't $un7 " didn't
want he$ to #now a thing until she wo#e up! 1f she wo#e up! " didn't ca$e if she did o$ not! Hell, if "
could f$actu$e the %ac# of 5eo$ge 9oot'an's s#ull with a ha''e$, " could ce$tainly put a hu$t on
this ho$$o$! As " wal#ed, " laced 'y hands togethe$ into one la$ge fist!
'NoB 2on't want to sta$tB Too shyB' Rogette spo#e in a suga$y Romper Room voice that 'ade 'e
want to g$ind 'y teeth togethe$! 'All $ight, 1'll sta$t! HappyC (hat $hy'es with happy, 1i*%i$dB
0appy ! ! ! and nappy ! ! ! you we$e ta#ing a nappy, we$en't you, when " ca'e and wo#e you up!
And lappy ! ! ! would you want to co'e and sit on 'y lappy, 1i*%i$dB (e'll feed each othe$
chocolate, &ust li#e we used to ! ! ! "'ll tell you a new #noc#*#noc# &o#e ! ! ! '
Anothe$ step! She had co'e to the edge of the doc#! "f she'd thought of it, she could si'ply have
th$own $oc#s at 1y$a as she had at 'e, th$own until she connected with one and #noc#ed 1i into
the la#e! .ut " don't thin# she got even close to such a notion! Once c$a=y goes past a ce$tain point,
you'$e on a tu$npi#e with no exit $a'ps! Rogette had othe$ plans fo$ 1y$a!
'3o'e on, 1i*1i, play the ga'e with white nana!' She held out the chocolate again, gooey
He$shey's 1isses d$ipping th$ough c$u'pled foil! 1y$a's eyes shifted, and at last she saw 'e! "
shoo# 'y head, t$ying to tell he$ to %e )uiet, %ut it was no good + an exp$ession of &oyous $elief
c$ossed he$ face! She c$ied out 'y na'e, and " saw Rogette's shoulde$s go up in su$p$ise!
" $an the last do=en feet, $aising 'y &oined hands li#e a clu%, %ut " slipped a little on the wet
g$ound at the c$ucial 'o'ent and Rogette 'ade a #ind of duc#ing c$inge! "nstead of st$i#ing he$ at
the %ac# of the nec# as "'d 'eant to, 'y &oined hands only glanced off he$ shoulde$! She stagge$ed,
went to one #nee, and was up again al'ost at once! He$ eyes we$e li#e little %lue a$c*la'ps, spitting
$age instead of elect$icity! ',ou5' she said, hissing the wo$d ove$ the top of he$ tongue, tu$ning it
into the sound of so'e ancient cu$seD .eeyuuuu5 .ehind us 1y$a sc$ea'ed 'y na'e, stagge$*
dancing on the wet wood and waving he$ a$'s in an effo$t to #eep f$o' falling in the la#e! (ate$
slopped onto the dec# and $an ove$ he$ s'all %a$e feet!
'Hold on, 1iC' " called %ac#! Rogette saw 'y attention shift and too# he$ chance + she spun and
$an out onto the doc#! " sp$ang afte$ he$, g$a%%ed he$ %y the hai$, and it ca'e off in 'y hand! All of
it! " stood the$e at the edge of the su$ging la#e with he$ 'at of white hai$ dangling f$o' 'y fist li#e
a scalp!
Rogette loo#ed ove$ he$ shoulde$, sna$ling, an ancient %ald gno'e in the $ain, and " thought 1t's
him' it's De&ore' he ne&er died at all' somehow he and the woman swapped identities' she was the
one who committed suicide' it was her body that went back to alifornia on the )et 3
Even as she tu$ned the othe$ way again and %egan to $un towa$d 1i, " #new %ette$! "t was
Rogette, all $ight, %ut she'd co'e %y that hideous $ese'%lance honestly! (hateve$ was w$ong with
he$ had done 'o$e than 'a#e he$ hai$ fall out7 it had aged he$ as well! Seventy, "'d thought, %ut that
had to %e at least ten yea$s %eyond the actual 'a$#!
1'&e known a lot of folks name their kids alike, $s ! had told 'e! "hey think it's cute( ax
2evo$e 'ust have thought so, too, %ecause he had na'ed a son Roge$ and his daughte$ Rogette!
0e$haps she'd co'e %y the (hit'o$e pa$t honestly + she 'ight have %een 'a$$ied in he$ younge$
yea$s + %ut once the wig was gone, he$ antecedents we$e %eyond a$gu'ent! The wo'an totte$ing
along the wet doc# to finish the &o% was 1y$a's aunt!
1i %egan to %ac# up $apidly, 'a#ing no effo$t to %e ca$eful and pic# he$ footing! She was going
into the d$in#7 the$e was no way she could stay up! .ut %efo$e she could fall, a wave slapped the
doc# %etween the' at a place whe$e so'e of the %a$$els had co'e loose and the slatted wal#way
was al$eady pa$tly su%'e$ged! 9oa'y wate$ flew up and %egan to twist into one of those helix
shapes " had seen %efo$e! Rogette stopped an#le*deep in the wate$ sloshing ove$ the doc#, and "
stopped a%out twelve feet %ehind he$!
The shape solidified, and even %efo$e " could 'a#e out the face " $ecogni=ed the %aggy sho$ts
with thei$ fading swi$ls of colo$ and the s'oc# top! Only 1'a$t sells s'oc# tops of such pe$fect
shapelessness7 " thin# it 'ay %e a fede$al law!
"t was attie! A g$ave g$ay attie, loo#ing at Rogette with g$ave g$ay eyes! Rogette $aised he$
hands, totte$ed, t$ied to tu$n! At that 'o'ent a wave su$ged unde$ the doc#, 'a#ing it $ise and then
d$op li#e an a'use'ent*pa$# $ide! Rogette went ove$ the side! .eyond he$, %eyond the wate$*shape
in the $ain, " could see 1i sp$awling on the po$ch of The Sunset .a$! That last heave had flipped he$
to te'po$a$y safety li#e a hu'an tiddlywin#!
attie was loo#ing at 'e, he$ lips 'oving, he$ eyes on 'ine! " had %een a%le to tell what 6o was
saying, %ut this ti'e " had no idea! " t$ied with all 'y 'ight, %ut " couldn't 'a#e it out!
'#ommy5 #ommy5'
The figu$e didn't so 'uch tu$n as $evolve7 it didn't actually see' to %e the$e %elow the he' of the
long sho$ts! "t 'oved up the doc# to the %a$, whe$e 1i was now standing with he$ a$'s held out!
So'ething g$a%%ed at 'y foot!
" loo#ed down and saw a d$owning appa$ition in the su$ging wate$! 2a$# eyes sta$ed up at 'e
f$o' %eneath the %ald s#ull! Rogette was coughing wate$ f$o' %etween lips that we$e as pu$ple as
plu's! He$ f$ee hand waved wea#ly up at 'e! The finge$s opened ! ! ! and closed! Opened ! ! ! and
closed! " d$opped to one #nee and too# it! "t cla'ped ove$ 'ine li#e a steel claw and she yan#ed,
t$ying to pull 'e in with he$! The pu$ple lips peeled %ac# f$o' yellow toothpegs li#e those in Sa$a's
s#ull! And yes + " thought that this ti'e Rogette was the one laughing!
" $oc#ed on 'y haunches and yan#ed he$ up! " didn't thin# a%out it7 it was pu$e instinct! " had he$
%y at least a hund$ed pounds, and th$ee )ua$te$s of he$ ca'e out of the la#e li#e a gigantic, f$ea#ish
t$out! She sc$ea'ed, da$ted he$ head fo$wa$d, and %u$ied he$ teeth in 'y w$ist! The pain was
i''ediate and eno$'ous! " &e$#ed 'y a$' up even highe$ and then %$ought it down, not thin#ing
a%out hu$ting he$, wanting only to $id 'yself of that weasel's 'outh! Anothe$ wave hit the half*
su%'e$ged doc# as " did! "ts $ising, splinte$ed edge i'paled Rogette's descending face! One eye
popped7 a d$ipping yellow splinte$ $an up he$ nose li#e a dagge$7 the scant s#in of he$ fo$ehead
split, snapping away f$o' the %one li#e two suddenly $eleased windowshades! Then the la#e pulled
he$ away! " saw the to$n topog$aphy of he$ face a 'o'ent longe$, uptu$ned into the to$$ential $ain,
wet and as pale as the light f$o' a fluo$escent %a$! Then she $olled ove$, he$ %lac# vinyl $aincoat
swi$ling a$ound he$ li#e a sh$oud!
(hat " saw when " loo#ed %ac# towa$d The Sunset .a$ was anothe$ gli'pse unde$ the s#in of
this wo$ld, %ut one fa$ diffe$ent f$o' the face of Sa$a in the 5$een 8ady o$ the sna$ling, half*
gli'psed shape of the Outside$! 1y$a stood on the wide wooden po$ch in f$ont of the %a$ a'id a
litte$ of ove$tu$ned wic#e$ fu$nitu$e! "n f$ont of he$ was a wate$spout in which " could still see +
ve$y faintly + the fading shape of a wo'an! She was on he$ #nees, holding he$ a$'s out!
They t$ied to e'%$ace! 1i's a$'s went th$ough attie and ca'e out d$ipping! 'o''y, " can't
get youC'
The wo'an in the wate$ was spea#ing + " could see he$ lips 'oving! 1i loo#ed at he$, $apt!
Then, fo$ &ust a 'o'ent attie tu$ned to 'e! Ou$ eyes 'et, and he$s we$e 'ade of the la#e! They
we$e 2a$# Sco$e, which was he$e long %efo$e " ca'e and will $e'ain long afte$ " a' gone! " put 'y
hands to 'y 'outh, #issed 'y pal's, and held the' out to he$! Shi''e$y hands went up, as if to
catch those #isses!
'#ommy don't go5' 1y$a sc$ea'ed, and flung he$ a$'s a$ound the figu$e! She was i''ediately
d$enched and %ac#ed away with he$ eyes s)uinched shut, coughing! The$e was no longe$ a wo'an
with he$7 the$e was only wate$ $unning ac$oss the %oa$ds and d$ipping th$ough the c$ac#s to $e&oin
the la#e, which co'es up f$o' deep sp$ings fa$ %elow, f$o' the fissu$es in the $oc# which
unde$lies the TR and all this pa$t of ou$ wo$ld!
oving ca$efully, doing 'y own %alancing act, " 'ade 'y way out along the wave$ing doc# to
The Sunset .a$! (hen " got the$e " too# 1y$a in 'y a$'s! She hugged 'e tight, shive$ing fie$cely
against 'e! " could hea$ the s'all dicecup $attle of he$ teeth and s'ell the la#e in he$ hai$!
'attie ca'e,' she said!
'" #now! " saw he$!'
'attie 'ade the white nana go away!'
'" saw that, too! .e ve$y still now, 1i! (e'$e going %ac# to solid g$ound, %ut you can't 'ove
a$ound a lot! "f you do, we'll end up swi''ing!'
She was good as gold! (hen we we$e on The St$eet again and " t$ied to put he$ down, she clung
to 'y nec# fie$cely! That was o#ay with 'e! " thought of ta#ing he$ into (a$$ington's, %ut didn't!
The$e would %e towels in the$e, p$o%a%ly d$y clothes as well, %ut " had an idea the$e 'ight also %e a
%athtu% full of wa$' wate$ waiting in the$e! .esides, the $ain was slac#ening again and this ti'e
the s#y loo#ed lighte$ in the west!
'(hat did attie tell you, honB' " as#ed as we wal#ed no$th along The St$eet! 1i would let 'e
put he$ down so we could c$awl unde$ the downed t$ees we ca'e to, %ut $aised he$ a$'s to %e
pic#ed up again on the fa$ side of each!
'To %e a good gi$l and not %e sad! .ut " a' sad! "'' &ery sad!' She %egan to c$y, and " st$o#ed he$
wet hai$!
.y the ti'e we got to the $ail$oad*tie steps she had c$ied he$self out ! ! ! and ove$ the 'ountains
in the west, " could see one s'all %ut ve$y %$illiant wedge of %lue!
'All the woods fell down,' 1i said, loo#ing a$ound! He$ eyes we$e ve$y wide!
'(ell ! ! ! not all, %ut a lot of the', " guess!'
Halfway up the steps " paused, puffing and se$iously winded! " didn't as# 1i if " could put he$
down, though! " didn't want to put he$ down! " &ust wanted to catch 'y %$eath!
'i#eB'
'(hat, dollB'
'attie told 'e so'ething else!'
'(hatB'
'3an " whispe$B'
'"f you want to, su$e!'
1i leaned close, put he$ lips to 'y ea$, and whispe$ed!
" listened! (hen she was done " nodded, #issed he$ chee#, shifted he$ to the othe$ hip, and
ca$$ied he$ the $est of the way up to the house!
'"'wasn't the stawm of the century' chummy' and don't you go thinkin that it was( Nossir(
So said the old*ti'e$s who sat in f$ont of the %ig A$'y 'edics' tent that se$ved as the 8a#eview
5ene$al that late su''e$ and fall! A huge el' had toppled ac$oss Route L? and %ashed the sto$e in
li#e a Saltines %ox! Adding in&u$y to insult, the el' had ca$$ied a %unch of spitting live lines with it!
They ignited p$opane f$o' a $uptu$ed tan#, and the whole thing went #a%oo'! The tent was a
p$etty good wa$'*weathe$ su%stitute, though, and fol#s on the TR too# to saying they was going
down to the ASH fo$ %$ead and %ee$ + this %ecause you could still see a faded $ed c$oss on %oth
sides of the tent's $oof!
The old*ti'e$s sat along one canvas wall in folding chai$s, waving to othe$ old*ti'e$s when they
went pooting %y in thei$ $usty old*ti'e$ ca$s -all ce$tified old*ti'e$s own eithe$ 9o$ds o$ 3hevys, so
"'' well on 'y way in that $ega$d/, swapping thei$ unde$shi$ts fo$ flannels as the days %egan to
cool towa$d cide$ season and spud*digging, watching the township sta$t to $e%uild itself a$ound
the'! And as they watched they tal#ed a%out the ice sto$' of the past winte$, the one that #noc#ed
out lights and splinte$ed a 'illion t$ees %etween 1itte$y and 9o$t 1ent7 they tal#ed a%out the
cyclones that touched down in August of :;?@7 they tal#ed a%out the sleet hu$$icane of :;FJ! Now
there was so'e staw's, they said! "here was so'e staw's, %y 5o$$y!
"'' su$e they've got a point, and " don't a$gue with the' + you $a$ely win an a$gu'ent with a
genuine ,an#ee old*ti'e$, neve$ if it's a%out the weathe$ + %ut fo$ 'e the sto$' of 6uly F:, :;;?,
will always %e the sto$'! And " #now a little gi$l who feels the sa'e! She 'ay live until F:AA,
given all the %enefits of 'ode$n 'edicine, %ut " thin# that fo$ 1y$a Eli=a%eth 2evo$e that will
always %e the sto$'! The one whe$e he$ dead 'othe$ ca'e to he$ d$essed in the la#e!
The fi$st vehicle to co'e down 'y d$iveway didn't a$$ive until al'ost six o'cloc#! "t tu$ned out to
%e not a 3astle 3ounty police ca$ %ut a yellow %uc#et*loade$ with flashing yellow lights on top of
the ca% and a guy in a 3ent$al aine 0owe$ 3o'pany slic#e$ wo$#ing the cont$ols! The guy in the
othe$ seat was a cop, though + was in fact No$$is Ridgewic#, the 3ounty She$iff hi'self! And he
ca'e to 'y doo$ with his gun d$awn!
The change in the weathe$ the T4 guy had p$o'ised had al$eady a$$ived, clouds and sto$'*cells
d$iven east %y a chilly wind $unning &ust unde$ gale fo$ce! T$ees had continued to fall in the
d$ipping woods fo$ at least an hou$ afte$ the $ain stopped! A$ound five o'cloc# " 'ade us toasted*
cheese sandwiches and to'ato soup ! ! ! co'fo$t food, 6o would have called it! 1y$a ate listlessly,
%ut she did eat, and she d$an# a lot of 'il#! " had w$apped he$ in anothe$ of 'y tee*shi$ts and she
tied he$ own hai$ %ac#! " offe$ed he$ the white $i%%ons, %ut she shoo# he$ head decisively and opted
fo$ a $u%%e$ %and instead! '" don't li#e those $i%%ons any'o$e,' she said! " decided " didn't, eithe$,
and th$ew the' away! 1i watched 'e do it and offe$ed no o%&ection! Then " c$ossed the living
$oo' to the woodstove!
'(hat a$e you doingB' She finished he$ second glass of 'il#, w$iggled off he$ chai$, and ca'e
ove$ to 'e!
'a#ing a fi$e! ay%e all those hot days thinned 'y %lood! That's what 'y 'o' would have
said, anyway!'
She watched silently as " pulled sheet afte$ sheet f$o' the pile of pape$ "'d ta#en off the ta%le and
stac#ed on top of the woodstove, %alled each one up, and slipped it in th$ough the doo$! (hen " felt
"'d loaded enough, " %egan to lay %its of #indling on top!
'(hat's w$itten on those pape$sB' 1i as#ed!
'Nothing i'po$tant!'
'"s it a sto$yB'
'Not $eally! "t was 'o$e li#e ! ! ! oh, " don't #now! A c$osswo$d pu==le! O$ a lette$!'
'0$etty long lette$,' she said, and then laid he$ head against 'y leg as if she we$e ti$ed!
',eah,' " said! '8ove lette$s usually a$e, %ut #eeping the' a$ound is a %ad idea!'
'(hyB'
'.ecause they ! ! ! ' an come back to haunt you was what $ose to 'ind, %ut " wouldn't say it!
'.ecause they can e'%a$$ass you in late$ life!'
'Oh!'
'.esides,' " said! 'These pape$s a$e li#e you$ $i%%ons, in a way!'
',ou don't li#e the' any'o$e!'
'Right!'
She saw the %ox then + the tin %ox with 6O'S NOT"ONS w$itten on the f$ont! "t was on the counte$
%etween the living $oo' and the sin#, not fa$ f$o' whe$e old 1$a=y 1at had hung on the wall! "
didn't $e'e'%e$ %$inging the %ox up f$o' the studio with 'e, %ut " suppose " 'ight not have7 " was
p$etty f$ea#ed! " also thin# it could have co'e up ! ! ! #ind of %y itself! " do %elieve such things
now7 " have $eason to!
1y$a's eyes lit up in a way they hadn't since she had wa#ened f$o' he$ sho$t nap to find out he$
'othe$ was dead! She stood on tiptoe to ta#e hold of the %ox, then $an he$ s'all finge$s ac$oss the
gilt lette$s! " thought a%out how i'po$tant it was fo$ a #id to own a tin %ox! ,ou had to have one fo$
you$ sec$et stuff the %est toy, the p$ettiest %it of lace, the fi$st piece of &ewel$y! O$ a pictu$e of you$
'othe$, pe$haps!
'This is so ! ! ! pretty,' she said in a soft, awed voice!
',ou can have it if you don't 'ind it saying 6O'S NOT"ONS instead of '1"'S NOT"ONS! The$e a$e
so'e pape$s in it " want to $ead, %ut " could put the' so'ewhe$e else!'
She loo#ed at 'e to 'a#e su$e " wasn't #idding, saw " wasn't!
'"'d love it,' she said in the sa'e soft, awed voice!
" too# the %ox f$o' he$, scooped out the steno %oo#s, notes, and clippings, then handed it %ac# to
1i! She p$acticed ta#ing the lid off and then putting it %ac# on!
'5uess what "'ll put in he$e,' she said!
'Sec$et t$easu$esB'
',esC' she said, and actually s'iled fo$ a 'o'ent! '(ho was 6o, i#eB 2o " #now he$B " do,
don't "B She was one of the f$idgea$ato$ people!'
'She + ' A thought occu$$ed! " shuffled th$ough the yellowed clippings! Nothing! " thought "'d
lost it so'ewhe$e along the way, then saw a co$ne$ of what " was loo#ing fo$ pee#ing f$o' the
'iddle of one of the steno note%oo#s! " slid it out and handed it to 1i!
'(hat is itB'
'A %ac#wa$ds photo! Hold it up to the light!'
She did, and loo#ed fo$ a long ti'e, $apt! 9aint as a d$ea' " could see 'y wife in he$ hand, 'y
wife standing on the swi''ing float in he$ two*piece suit!
'That's 6o,' " said!
'She's p$etty! "'' glad to have he$ %ox fo$ 'y things!'
'" a' too, 1i!' " #issed the top of he$ head!
(hen She$iff Ridgewic# ha''e$ed on the doo$, " thought it wise to answe$ with 'y hands up! He
loo#ed wi$ed! (hat see'ed to ease the situation was a si'ple, uncalculated )uestion!
'(he$e's Alan 0ang%o$n these days, She$iffB'
'Ove$ New Ha'pshi$e,' Ridgewic# said, lowe$ing his pistol a little -a 'inute o$ two late$ he
holste$ed it without even see'ing to %e awa$e he had done so/! 'He and 0olly a$e doing $eal well!
Except fo$ he$ a$th$itis! That's nasty, " guess, %ut she still has he$ good days! A pe$son can go along
)uite awhile if they get a good day eve$y once and again, that's what " thin#! $! Noonan, " have a
lot of )uestions fo$ you! ,ou #now that, don't youB'
',es!'
'9i$st off and 'ost i'po$tant, do you have the childB 1y$a 2evo$eB'
',es!'
'(he$e is sheB'
'"'ll %e happy to show you!'
(e wal#ed down the no$th*wing co$$ido$ and stood &ust outside the %ed$oo' doo$way, loo#ing
in! The duvet was pulled up to he$ chin and she was sleeping deeply! The stuffed dog was cu$led in
one hand + we could &ust see its 'uddy tail po#ing out of he$ fist at one end and its nose po#ing
out at the othe$! (e stood the$e fo$ a long ti'e, neithe$ of us saying anything, watching he$ sleep in
the light of a su''e$ evening! "n the woods the t$ees had stopped falling, %ut the wind still %lew!
A$ound the eaves of Sa$a 8aughs it 'ade a sound li#e ancient 'usic!
E0"8O5UE
"t snowed fo$ 3h$ist'as + a polite six inches of powde$ that 'ade the ca$olle$s wo$#ing the st$eets
of Sanfo$d loo# li#e they %elonged in 1t's a Wonderful %ife! .y the ti'e " ca'e %ac# f$o' chec#ing
1y$a fo$ the thi$d ti'e, it was )ua$te$ past one on the 'o$ning of the twenty*sixth, and the snow
had stopped! A late 'oon, plu'p %ut pale, was pee#ing th$ough the un$avelling fluff of clouds!
" was 3h$ist'asing with 9$an# again, and we we$e the last two up! The #ids, 1i included, we$e
dead to the wo$ld, sleeping off the annual %acchanal of food and p$esents! 9$an# was on his thi$d
Scotch + it had %een a th$ee*Scotch sto$y if the$e eve$ was one, " guess + %ut "'d %a$ely d$un# the
top off 'y fi$st one! " thin# " 'ight have gotten into the %ottle )uite heavily if not fo$ 1i! On the
days when " have he$ " usually don't d$in# so 'uch as a glass of %ee$! And to have he$ th$ee days in
a $ow ! ! ! %ut shit, kemo sabe, if you can't spend 3h$ist'as with you$ #id, what the hell is
3h$ist'as fo$B
'A$e you all $ightB' 9$an# as#ed when " sat down again and too# anothe$ little to#en sip f$o' 'y
glass!
" g$inned at that! Not is she all $ight %ut a$e you all $ight! (ell, no%ody eve$ said 9$an# was
stupid!
',ou should've seen 'e when the 2epa$t'ent of Hu'an Se$vices let 'e have he$ fo$ a wee#end
in Octo%e$! " 'ust have chec#ed on he$ a do=en ti'es %efo$e " went to %ed ! ! ! and then " kept
chec#ing! 5etting up and pee#ing in on he$, listening to he$ %$eathe! " didn't sleep a win# 9$iday
night, caught 'ay%e th$ee hou$s on Satu$day! So this is a %ig i'p$ove'ent! .ut if you eve$ %la%
any of what "'ve told you, 9$an# + *if they eve$ hea$ a%out 'e filling up that %athtu% %efo$e the
sto$' #noc#ed the gennie out + " can #iss 'y chances of adopting he$ good%ye! "'ll p$o%a%ly have
to fill out a fo$' in t$iplicate %efo$e they even let 'e attend he$ high*school g$aduation!'
" hadn't 'eant to tell 9$an# the %athtu% pa$t, %ut once " sta$ted tal#ing, al'ost eve$ything spilled
out! " suppose it had to spill to so'eone if " was eve$ to get on with 'y life! "'d assu'ed that 6ohn
Sto$$ow would %e the one on the othe$ side of the confessional when the ti'e ca'e, %ut 6ohn didn't
want to tal# a%out any of those events except as they %o$e on ou$ ongoing legal %usiness, which
nowadays is all a%out 1y$a Eli=a%eth 2evo$e!
'"'ll #eep 'y 'outh shut, don't wo$$y! How goes the adoption %attleB'
'Slow! "'ve co'e to loathe the State of aine cou$t syste', and 2HS as well! ,ou ta#e the
people who wo$# in those %u$eauc$acies one %y one and they'$e 'ostly fine, %ut when you put the'
togethe$ ! ! ! '
'.ad, huhB'
'" so'eti'es feel li#e a cha$acte$ in Bleak .ouse! That's the one whe$e 2ic#ens says that in cou$t
no%ody wins %ut the lawye$s! 6ohn tells 'e to %e patient and count 'y %lessings, that we' re 'a#ing
a'a=ing p$og$ess conside$ing that "'' that 'ost unt$ustwo$thy of c$eatu$es, an un'a$$ied white
'ale of 'iddle age, %ut 1i's %een in two foste$*ho'e situations since attie died, and + '
'2oesn't she have #in in one of those neigh%o$ing townsB'
'attie's aunt! She didn't want anything to do with 1i when attie was alive and has even less
inte$est now! Especially since + '
' + since 1i's not going to %e $ich!'
',eah!'
'The (hit'o$e wo'an was lying a%out 2evo$e's will!'
'A%solutely! He left eve$ything to a foundation that's supposed to foste$ glo%al co'pute$ lite$acy!
(ith due $espect to the nu'%e$c$unche$s of the wo$ld, " can't i'agine a colde$ cha$ity!'
'How is 6ohnB'
'0$etty well 'ended, %ut he's neve$ going to get the use of his $ight a$' %ac# enti$ely! He
da'ned nea$ died of %lood*loss!'
9$an# had led 'e away f$o' the entwined su%&ects of 1i and custody )uite well fo$ a 'an deep
into his thi$d Scotch, and " was willing enough to go! " could ha$dly %ea$ to thin# of he$ long days
and longe$ nights in those ho'es whe$e the 2epa$t'ent of Hu'an Se$vices sto$es away child$en
li#e #nic##nac#s no%ody wants! 1i didn't live in those places %ut only existed in the', pale and
listless, li#e a well*fed $a%%it #ept in a cage! Each ti'e she saw 'y ca$ tu$ning in o$ pulling up she
ca'e alive, waving he$ a$'s and dancing li#e Snoopy on his doghouse! Ou$ wee#end in Octo%e$
had %een wonde$ful -despite 'y o%sessive need to chec# he$ eve$y half hou$ o$ so afte$ she was
asleep/, and the 3h$ist'as holiday had %een even %ette$! He$ e'phatic desi$e to %e with 'e was
helping in cou$t 'o$e than anything else ! ! ! yet the wheels still tu$ned slowly!
#aybe in the spring' #ike, 6ohn told 'e! He was a new 6ohn these days, pale and se$ious! The
slightly a$$ogant eage$ %eave$ who had wanted nothing 'o$e than to go head to head with $!
axwell '.ig .uc#s' 2evo$e was no longe$ in evidence! 6ohn had lea$ned so'ething a%out
'o$tality on the twenty*fi$st of 6uly, and so'ething a%out the wo$ld's idiot c$uelty, as well! The
'an who had taught hi'self to sha#e with his left hand instead of his $ight was no longe$ inte$ested
in pa$tying 'til he pu#ed! He was seeing a gi$l in 0hilly, the daughte$ of one of his 'othe$'s f$iends!
" had no idea if it was se$ious o$ not, 1i's 'Unca 6ohn' is close'outhed a%out that pa$t of his life, %ut
when a young 'an is of his own acco$d seeing the daughte$ of one of his 'othe$'s f$iends, it
usually is!
ay%e in the sp$ingD it was his 'ant$a that late fall and ea$ly winte$! What am 1 doing wrong? "
as#ed hi' once + this was &ust afte$ Than#sgiving and anothe$ set%ac#!
Nothing' he $eplied! Single*parent adoptions are always slow' and when the putati&e adopter is a
man' it's worse! At that point in the conve$sation 6ohn 'ade an ugly little gestu$e, po#ing the index
finge$ of his left hand in and out of his loosely cupped $ight fist!
"hat's blatant se$ discrimination' 0ohn(
,eah' but usually it's )ustified( Blame it on e&ery twisted asshole who e&er decided he had a right
to take off some little kid's pants' if you want'' blame it on the bureaucracy' if you want'' hell'
blame it on cosmic rays if you want( 1t's a slow process' but you're going to win in the end( ,ou'&e
got a clean record' you'&e got @yra saying '1 want to be with #ike' to e&ery )udge and D.S worker
she sees' you'&e got enough money to keep after them no matter how much they s!uirm and no
matter how many forms they throw at you ( ( ( and most of all' buddy' you'&e got me(
" had so'ething else, too + what 1i had whispe$ed in 'y ea$ as " paused to catch 'y %$eath on
the steps! "'d neve$ told 6ohn a%out that, and it was one of the few things " didn't tell 9$an#, eithe$!
#attie says 1'm your little guy now, she had whispe$ed! #attie says you'll take care of me!
" was t$ying to + as 'uch as the fuc#ing slowpo#es at Hu'an Se$vices would let 'e + %ut the
waiting was ha$d!
9$an# pic#ed up the Scotch and tilted it in 'y di$ection! " shoo# 'y head! 1i had he$ hea$t set on
snow'an*'a#ing, and " wanted to %e a%le to face the gla$e of ea$ly sun on f$esh snow without a
headache!
'9$an#, how 'uch of this do you actually %elieveB'
He pou$ed fo$ hi'self, then &ust sat fo$ a ti'e, loo#ing down at the ta%le and thin#ing! (hen he
$aised his head again the$e was a s'ile on his face! "t was so 'uch li#e 6o's that it %$o#e 'y hea$t!
And when he spo#e, he &uiced his o$dina$ily faint .oston %$ogue!
'Su$e and "'' a half*d$un# "$ish'an who &ust finished listenin to the g$anddaddy of all ghost
sto$ies on 3h$ist'as night,' he said! '" %elieve all of it, you silly git!'
" laughed and so did he! (e did it 'ostly th$ough the nose, as 'en a$e apt to do when up late,
'ay%e in thei$ cups a little, and don't want to wa#e the house!
'3o'e on + how 'uch $eallyB'
'All of it,' he $epeated, d$opping the %$ogue! '.ecause 6o %elieved it! And %ecause of he$!' He
nodded his head in the di$ection of the stai$s so "'d #now which he$ he 'eant! 'She's li#e no othe$
little gi$l "'ve eve$ seen! She's sweet enough, %ut the$e's so'ething in he$ eyes! At fi$st " thought it
was losing he$ 'othe$ the way she did, %ut that's not it! The$e's 'o$e, isn't the$eB'
',es,' " said!
'"t's in you, too! "t's touched you %oth!'
" thought of the %aying thing which 6o had 'anaged to hold %ac# while " pou$ed the lye into that
$otted $oll of canvas! An Outside$, she had called it! " hadn't gotten a clea$ loo# at it, and p$o%a%ly
that was good! 0$o%a%ly that was ve$y good!
'i#eB' 9$an# loo#ed conce$ned! ',ou'$e shive$ing!'
'"'' o#ay,' " said! 'Really!'
'(hat's it li#e in the house nowB' he as#ed! " was still living in Sa$a 8aughs! " p$oc$astinated until
ea$ly Nove'%e$, then put the 2e$$y house up fo$ sale!
'Nuiet!'
'Totally )uietB'
" nodded, %ut that wasn't co'pletely t$ue! On a couple of occasions " had awa#ened with a
sensation attie had once 'entioned + that the$e was so'eone in %ed with 'e! .ut not a
dange$ous p$esence! On a couple of occasions " have s'elled -o$ thought " have/ Red pe$fu'e! And
so'eti'es, even when the ai$ is pe$fectly still, .unte$'s %ell will shive$ out a few notes! "t's as if
so'ething lonely wants to say hello!
9$an# glanced at the cloc#, then %ac# at 'e, al'ost apologetically! '"'ve got a few 'o$e )uestions
+ o#ayB'
'"f you can't stay up until the wee hou$s on .oxing 2ay 'o$ning,' " said, '" guess you neve$ can!
9i$e away!'
'(hat did you tell the policeB'
'" didn't have to tell the' 'uch of anything! 9oot'an tal#ed enough to suit the' + too 'uch to
suit No$$is Ridgewic#! 9oot'an said that he and Osgood + it was Osgood d$iving the ca$,
2evo$e's pet %$o#e$ + did the d$ive*%y %ecause 2evo$e had 'ade th$eats a%out what would happen
to the' if they didn't! The State cops also found a copy of a wi$e*t$ansfe$ a'ong 2evo$e's effects at
(a$$ington's! Two 'illion dolla$s to an account in the 5$and 3ay'ans! The na'e sc$i%%led on the
copy is Randolph 9oot'an! Randolph is 5eo$ge's 'iddle na'e! $! 9oot'an is now $esiding in
Shawshan# State 0$ison!'
'(hat a%out RogetteB'
'(ell, (hit'o$e was he$ 'othe$'s 'aiden na'e, %ut " thin# it's safe to say that Rogette's hea$t
%elonged to 2addy! She had leu#e'ia, was diagnosed in :;;L! "n people he$ age + she was only
fifty*seven when she died, %y the way + it's fatal in two cases out of eve$y th$ee, %ut she was
doing the che'o! Hence the wig!'
'(hy did she t$y to #ill 1y$aB " don't unde$stand that! "f you %$o#e Sa$a Tidwell's hold on this
ea$thly plane of ou$s when you dissolved he$ %ones, the cu$se should have ! ! ! why a$e you loo#ing
at 'e that wayB'
',ou'd unde$stand if you'd eve$ 'et 2evo$e,' " said! 'This is the 'an who lit the whole fuc#ing
TR on fi$e as a way of saying good%ye when he headed west to sunny 3alifo$nia! " thought of hi'
the second " pulled the wig off, thought they'd swapped identities so'ehow! Then " thought 2h no'
it's her all right' it's Rogette' she's )ust lost her hair somehow('
'And you we$e $ight! The che'o!'
'" was also w$ong! " #now 'o$e a%out ghosts than " did, 9$an#! ay%e the 'ost i'po$tant thing
is that what you see fi$st, what you thin# fi$st ! ! ! that's what's usually t$ue! "t was hi' that day!
2evo$e! He ca'e %ac# at the end! "'' su$e of it! At the end it wasn't a%out Sa$a, not fo$ hi'! At the
end it wasn't even a%out 1y$a! At the end it was a%out Scoote$ 8a$$i%ee's sled!'
Silence %etween us! 9o$ a few 'o'ents it was so deep that " could actually hea$ the house
%$eathing! ,ou can hea$ that, you #now! "f you $eally listen! That's so'ething else " #now now!
'3h$ist,' he said at last! '" don't thin# 2evo$e ca'e east f$o' 3alifo$nia to #ill he$,' " said! 'That
wasn't the o$iginal plan!'
'Then what wasB 5et to #now his g$anddaughte$B end his fencesB'
'5od, no! ,ou still don't unde$stand what he was!'
'Tell 'e, then!'
'A hu'an 'onste$! He ca'e %ac# to buy he$, %ut attie wouldn't sell! Then, when Sa$a got hold
of hi', he %egan to plan 1i's death! " suspect that Sa$a neve$ found a 'o$e willing tool!'
'How 'any did she #ill in allB' 9$an# as#ed!
'" don't #now fo$ su$e! " don't thin# " want to! .ased on 6o's notes and clippings, "'d say that the$e
we$e pe$haps fou$ othe$ ! ! ! di$ected 'u$de$s, shall we call the'B ! ! ! in the yea$s %etween :;A:
and :;;?! All child$en, all @*na'es, all closely $elated to the 'en who #illed he$!'
'y 5od!'
'" don't thin# 5od had 'uch to do with it ! ! ! %ut she 'ade the' pay, all $ight!'
',ou'$e so$$y fo$ he$, a$en't youB'
',es! " would have to$n he$ apa$t %efo$e " let he$ put so 'uch as a finge$ on 1i, %ut of cou$se "
a'! She was $aped and 'u$de$ed! He$ child was d$owned while she he$self lay dying! y 5od,
a$en't you so$$y fo$ he$B'
'" suppose " a'! i#e, do you #now who the othe$ %oy wasB The c$ying %oyB (as he the one
who died of %lood*poisoningB'
'ost of 6o's notes conce$ned that pa$t of it + it's whe$e she got sta$ted! Royce e$$ill #new the
sto$y well! The c$ying %oy was Reg Tidwell, 6unio$! ,ou have to unde$stand that %y Septe'%e$ of
:;A:, when the Red*Tops played thei$ last show in 3astle 3ounty, al'ost eve$yone on the TR
#new that Sa$a and he$ %oy had %een 'u$de$ed, and al'ost eve$yone had a good idea of who'd
done it!
'Reg Tidwell spent a lot of that August hounding the 3ounty She$iff, Nehe'iah .anne$'an! At
fi$st it was to find the' alive + Tidwell wanted a sea$ch 'ounted + and then it was to find thei$
%odies, and then it was to find thei$ #ille$s ! ! ! %ecause once he accepted that they we$e dead, he
neve$ dou%ted that they'd %een 'u$de$ed!
'.anne$'an was sy'pathetic at fi$st! 4&eryone see'ed sy'pathetic at fi$st! The Red*Top c$owd
had %een t$eated wonde$fully du$ing thei$ ti'e on the TR + that was what infu$iated 6a$ed the
'ost + and " thin# you can fo$give Son Tidwell fo$ 'a#ing a c$ucial 'ista#e!'
'(hat 'ista#e was thatB'
Why' he got the idea that #ars was hea&en, " thought! "he "R must ha&e seemed like hea&en to
them' right up until Sara and @ito went for a stroll' the boy carrying his berry*bucket' and ne&er
came back( 1t must ha&e seemed that they'd finally found a place where they could be black people
and still be allowed to breathe(
'Thin#ing they'd %e t$eated li#e $egula$ fol#s when things went w$ong, &ust %ecause they'd %een
t$eated that way when things we$e $ight! "nstead, the TR clu%%ed togethe$ against the'! No one
who had an idea of what 6a$ed and his p$otQgQs had done condoned it, exactly, %ut when the chips
we$e down ! ! ! '
',ou p$otect you$ own, you wash you$ di$ty laund$y with the doo$ closed,' 9$an# 'u$'u$ed, and
finished his d$in#!
',eah! .y the ti'e the Red*Tops played the 3astle 3ounty 9ai$, thei$ little co''unity down %y
the la#e had %egun to %$ea# up + this is all acco$ding to 6o's notes, you unde$stand7 the$e's not a
whispe$ of it in any of the town histo$ies!
'.y 8a%o$ 2ay the active ha$ass'ent had sta$ted + so Royce told 6o! "t got a little uglie$ eve$y
day + a little sca$ie$ + %ut Son Tidwell flat didn't want to go, not until he found out what had
happened to his siste$ and nephew! He appa$ently #ept the %lood fa'ily the$e in the 'eadow even
afte$ the othe$s had ta#en off fo$ f$iendlie$ locations!
'Then so'eone laid the t$ap! The$e was a clea$ing in the woods a%out a 'ile east of what's now
called Tidwell's eadow7 it had a %ig %i$ch c$oss in the 'iddle of it! 6o had a pictu$e of it in he$
studio! That was whe$e the %lac# co''unity had thei$ se$vices afte$ the doo$s of the local chu$ches
we$e closed to the'! The %oy + 6unio$ + used to go up the$e a lot to p$ay o$ &ust to sit and
'editate! The$e we$e plenty of fol#s in the township who #new his $outine! So'eone put a leghold
t$ap on the little path th$ough the woods that the %oy used! 3ove$ed it with leaves and needles!'
'6esus,' 9$an# said! He sounded ill!
'0$o%a%ly it wasn't 6a$ed 2evo$e o$ his logge$*%oys who set it, eithe$ + they didn't want any
'o$e to do with Sa$a and Son's people afte$ the 'u$de$s, they #ept $ight clea$ of the'! "t 'ight not
even have %een a f$iend of those %oys! .y then they didn't ha&e that 'any f$iends! .ut that didn't
change the fact that those fol#s down %y the la#e we$e getting out of thei$ place, sc$atching at
things %ette$ left alone, $efusing to ta#e no fo$ an answe$! So so'eone set the t$ap! " don't thin#
the$e was any intent to actually #ill the %oy, %ut to 'ai' hi'B ay%e see hi' with his foot off,
conde'ned to a lifeti'e c$utchB " thin# they 'ay have gotten that fa$ in thei$ i'agining!
'"n any case it wo$#ed! The %oy stepped in the t$ap ! ! ! and fo$ )uite awhile they didn't find hi'!
The pain 'ust have %een exc$uciating! Then the %lood*poisoning! He died! Son gave up! He had
othe$ #ids to thin# a%out, not to 'ention the people who'd stuc# with hi'! They pac#ed up thei$
clothes and thei$ guita$s and left! 6o t$aced so'e of the' to No$th 3a$olina, whe$e 'any of the
descendants still live! And du$ing the fi$es of :;GG, the ones young ax 2evo$e set, the ca%ins
%u$ned flat'
'" don't unde$stand why the %odies of Sa$a and he$ son we$en't found,' 9$an# said! '" unde$stand
that what you s'elled + the put$escence + wasn't the$e in any physical sense! .ut su$ely at the
ti'e ! ! ! if this path you call The St$eet was so popula$ ! ! ! '
'2evo$e and the othe$s didn't %u$y the' whe$e " found the', not to %egin with! They would have
sta$ted %y d$agging the %odies deepe$ into the woods + 'ay%e up to whe$e the no$th wing of Sa$a
8aughs stands now! They cove$ed the' with %$ush and ca'e %ac# that night! ust have %een that
night7 to leave the' any longe$ would have d$awn eve$y ca$nivo$e in the woods! They too# the'
so'eplace else and %u$ied the' in that $oll of canvas! 6o didn't #now whe$e, %ut 'y guess is .owie
Ridge, whe$e they'd spent 'ost of the su''e$ cutting! Hell, .owie Ridge is still p$etty isolated!
They put the %odies so'ewhe$e7 we 'ight as well say the$e!'
'Then how ! ! ! why ! ! ! '
'2$ape$ 9inney wasn't the only one haunted %y what they did, 9$an# + they all we$e! 8ite$ally
haunted! (ith the possi%le exception of 6a$ed 2evo$e, " suppose! He lived anothe$ ten yea$s and
appa$ently neve$ 'issed a 'eal! .ut the %oys had %ad d$ea's, they d$an# too 'uch, they fought
too 'uch, they a$gued ! ! ! %$istled if anyone so 'uch as 'entioned the Red*Tops ! ! ! '
'ight as well have gone a$ound wea$ing signs $eading 1"31 US, (E'RE 5U"8T,,' 9$an#
co''ented!
',es! "t p$o%a%ly didn't help that 'ost of the TR was giving the' the silent t$eat'ent! Then
9inney died in the )ua$$y + co''itted suicide in the )ua$$y, " thin# + and 6a$ed's logge$*%oys got
an idea! 3a'e down with it li#e a cold! Only it was 'o$e li#e a co'pulsion! Thei$ idea was that if
they dug up the %odies and $e%u$ied the' whe$e it happened, things'd go %ac# to no$'al fo$ the'!'
'2id 6a$ed go along with the ideaB'
'Acco$ding to 6o's notes, %y then they neve$ went nea$ hi'! They $e%u$ied the %ag of %ones +
without 6a$ed 2evo$e's help + whe$e " eventually dug it up! "n the late fall o$ ea$ly winte$ of :;AF,
" thin#!'
'She wanted to %e %ac#, didn't sheB Sa$a! .ac# whe$e she could $eally wo$# on the'!'
'And on the whole township! ,es! 6o thought so, too! Enough so she didn't want to go %ac# to
Sa$a 8aughs once she found so'e of this stuff out! Especially when she guessed she was p$egnant!
(hen we sta$ted t$ying to have a %a%y and " suggested the na'e 1ia, how that 'ust have sca$ed
he$C And " neve$ saw!'
'Sa$a thought she could use you to #ill 1y$a if 2evo$e played out %efo$e he could get the &o%
done + he was old and in %ad health, afte$ all! 6o ga'%led that you'd save he$ instead! That's what
you thin#, isn't itB'
',es!'
'And she was $ight!'
'" couldn't have done it alone! 9$o' the night " d$ea'ed a%out Sa$a singing, 6o was with 'e
eve$y step of the way! Sa$a couldn't 'a#e he$ )uit!'
'No, she wasn't a )uitte$,' 9$an# ag$eed, and wiped at one eye! '(hat do you #now a%out you$
twice*g$eat*auntB The one that 'a$$ied Auste$B'
'.$idget Noonan Auste$,' " said! '.$idey, to he$ f$iends! " as#ed 'y 'othe$ and she swea$s up and
down she #nows nothing, that 6o neve$ as#ed he$ a%out .$idey, %ut " thin# she 'ight %e lying! The
young wo'an was definitely the %lac# sheep of the fa'ily + " can tell &ust %y the sound of o''s
voice when the na'e co'es up! " have no idea how she 'et .enton Auste$! 8et's say he was down
in the 0$out's Nec# pa$t of the wo$ld visiting f$iends and sta$ted fli$ting with he$ at a cla'%a#e!
That's as li#ely as anything else! This was in :??<! She was eighteen, he was twenty*th$ee! They
got 'a$$ied, one of those hu$$y*up &o%s! Ha$$y, the one who actually d$owned 1ito Tidwell, ca'e
along six 'onths late$!'
'So he was %a$ely seventeen when it happened,' 9$an# said! '5$eat 5od!'
'And %y then his 'othe$ had gotten $eligion! His te$$o$ ove$ what she'd thin# if she eve$ found
out was pa$t of the $eason he did what he did! Any othe$ )uestions, 9$an#B .ecause "'' $eally
sta$ting to fade!'
9o$ seve$al 'o'ents he said nothing + " had %egun to thin# he was done when he said, 'Two
othe$s! 2o you 'indB'
'" guess it's too late to %ac# out now! (hat a$e theyB'
'The Shape you spo#e of! The Outside$! That t$ou%les 'e!'
" said nothing! "t t$ou%led 'e, too!
'2o you thin# the$e's a chance it 'ight co'e %ac#B'
'"t always does,' " said! 'At the $is# of sounding po'pous, the Outside$ eventually co'es %ac# fo$
all of us, doesn't itB .ecause we'$e all %ags of %ones! And the Outside$ ! ! ! 9$an#, the Outside$
wants what's in the %ag!'
He 'ulled this ove$, then swallowed the $est of his Scotch at a gulp!
',ou had one othe$ )uestionB'
',es,' he said! 'Have you sta$ted w$iting againB'
" went upstai$s a few 'inutes late$, chec#ed 1i, %$ushed 'y teeth, chec#ed 1i again, then cli'%ed
into %ed! 9$o' whe$e " lay " was a%le to loo# out the window at the pale 'oon shining on the snow!
.a&e you started writing again?
No! Othe$ than a $athe$ lengthy essay on how " spent 'y su''e$ vacation which " 'ay show to
1y$a in so'e late$ yea$, the$e's %een nothing! " #now that Ha$old is ne$vous, and soone$ o$ late$ "
suppose "'ll have to call hi' and tell hi' what he al$eady guessesD the 'achine which $an so sweet
fo$ so long has stopped! "t isn't %$o#en + this 'e'oi$ ca'e out with na$y a gasp o$ 'issed
hea$t%eat + %ut the 'achine has stopped, &ust the sa'e! The$e's gas in the tan#, the spa$#plugs
spa$# and the %atte$y %ats, %ut the wo$dygu$dy stands the$e )uiet in the 'iddle of 'y head! "'ve put
a ta$p ove$ it! "t's se$ved 'e well, you see, and " don't li#e to thin# of it getting dusty!
So'e of it has to do with the way attie died! "t occu$$ed to 'e at so'e point this fall that " had
w$itten si'ila$ deaths in at least two of 'y %oo#s, and popula$ fiction is heaped with othe$
exa'ples of the sa'e thing! Have you set up a 'o$al dile''a you don't #now how to solveB "s the
p$otagonist sexually att$acted to a wo'an who is 'uch too young fo$ hi', shall we sayB Need a
)uic# fixB Easiest thing in the wo$ld! '(hen the sto$y sta$ts going sou$, %$ing on the 'an with the
gun!' Ray'ond 3handle$ said that, o$ so'ething li#e it + close enough fo$ gove$n'ent wo$#,
kemo sabe!
u$de$ is the wo$st #ind of po$nog$aphy, 'u$de$ is let 'e do what " want ta#en to its final
ext$e'e! " %elieve that even 'a#e*%elieve 'u$de$s should %e ta#en se$iously7 'ay%e that's anothe$
idea " got last su''e$! 0e$haps " got it while attie was st$uggling in 'y a$'s, gushing %lood
f$o' he$ s'ashed head and dying %lind, still c$ying out fo$ he$ daughte$ as she left this ea$th! To
thin# " 'ight have w$itten such a hellishly convenient death in a %oo#, e&er, sic#ens 'e!
O$ 'ay%e " &ust wish the$e'd %een a little 'o$e ti'e!
" $e'e'%e$ telling 1i it's %est not to leave love lette$s a$ound7 what " thought %ut didn't say was
that they can co'e %ac# to haunt you! " a' haunted anyway ! ! ! %ut " will not willingly haunt
'yself, and when " closed 'y %oo# of d$ea's " did so of 'y own f$ee will! " thin# " could have
pou$ed lye ove$ those d$ea's as well, %ut f$o' that " stayed 'y hand!
"'ve seen things " neve$ expected to see and felt things " neve$ expected to feel + not the least of
the' what " felt and still feel fo$ the child sleeping down the hall f$o' 'e! She's 'y little guy now,
"'' he$ %ig guy, and that's the i'po$tant thing! Nothing else see's to 'atte$ half so 'uch!
Tho'as Ha$dy, who supposedly said that the 'ost %$illiantly d$awn cha$acte$ in a novel is %ut a
%ag of %ones, stopped w$iting novels hi'self afte$ finishing 0ude the 2bscure and while he was at
the height of his na$$ative genius! He went on w$iting poet$y fo$ anothe$ twenty yea$s, and when
so'eone as#ed hi' why he'd )uit fiction he said he couldn't unde$stand why he had t$uc#ed with it
so long in the fi$st place! "n $et$ospect it see'ed silly to hi', he said! 0ointless! " #now exactly
what he 'eant! "n the ti'e %etween now and wheneve$ the Outside$ $e'e'%e$s 'e and decides to
co'e %ac#, the$e 'ust %e othe$ things to do, things that 'ean 'o$e than those shadows! " thin# "
could go %ac# to clan#ing chains %ehind the 5host House wall, %ut " have no inte$est in doing so!
"'ve lost 'y taste fo$ spoo#s! " li#e to i'agine attie would thin# of .a$tle%y in elville's sto$y!
"'ve put down 'y sc$ivene$'s pen! These days " p$efe$ not to!