I m feeling so happy, do u know why? cuz i m so lucky, do u know how?

cuz God
loves me.Do u know how? cuz he gave me a gift. Do u know what? its YOU my love
Orthopaedics I ortho1@cmcvellore.ac.in
Orthopaedics II ortho2@cmcvellore.ac.in
Orthopaedics III ortho3@cmcvellore.ac.in
Sometimes My eyes get jealouse of my Heart!!!
You Know Why?Bcoz.....You Always Remain close to my HEART n far from my EYES
Sustanon 250
a man jumps into his bed & starts making luv,
woman in bed says - jijaji main apki biwi nahi saali radha hoon
man: ab kahe ki RADHA jab ghus gaya AADHA!!
Woman: Someone saw my breast through window while I was changing my jacket
Husband: What did you do then?
Woman: I covered my breast with my LEHENGA
Lady1: Aaj kal mujhe khaas khayal rakhna padta hai ki main pregnant naa ban jaau
Lady2: Par tumhara pati toh nasbandi kara liya hai na
Lady1: Isi liye too............!!!!!
Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.
Doctor advised Santa: Dabaa ke doodh piyo.
Santa: Doodh to khoob peeta hoon per wohh dabaney nahin deti
One boys father went to school for getting the report card of his son.
Father: Madam kab dengi aap.
Teacher: Period khatam hone tak to intezzar karo
Santa: Bhai Saab ek condom dena. Meine girlfriend ko gift dena hai.
Dukandar: Is par cover chada du.
Santa, arre nai yeh to cover hai gift to mere pass hai.
Badi hasrat thi ki kholein unki salwaar ka nara,
Sanam ki berukhi dekho ki nangey hi chale aye, Wah wah wah
Doctor to old man: Baba Jee, Aapki nichey ki donu goliyan nikalni padengi
Oldman: Nikal do beta, jab bandooq hi nahi chal rahi to goliyan kis kaam ki
Teacher: kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye.
Student: jalta hua bulb
Teacher:why??
Student: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh r?hi thi "bulb bujha do to muh mein loong
i"
Mom found a Condom in Daughter's Bedroom
She went Straight to her and asked
What is this?
Girl replied-Toh aap kya Chahti hain mein is umr mein Maa ban Jaau?
girl: naa ched ladkiyon ko paap hoga, kal ko tu bhi kisi haseena ka baap hoga
boy: khuda kare teri baat sachi ho, jo mujhe baap kahe woh teri BACHI ho...
A boyz response 2 a galz opened zipper in da Jeanz
"Hello Ma'am, Excuse me but kia aap yeah taj mahal ka gate zara close karengi be
cause mera Qutub Minaar Hilnay lagaa hay"
Banta Singh Letter To Bill Gates
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our h
ome and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever w
e fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in t
he rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only i
n password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that t
here is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with
password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the
password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to ch
eck this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran u
pto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click t
hat by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cy
cle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door
key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trac
e. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I
suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playin
g cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence',
so when u will provide that?
Best regards,
Banta Singh
==================================================================
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife
if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies
"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy
bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is bla
ck"
"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere
to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."
"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I
'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you
that the baby has blonde hair."
"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and
there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I h
ate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."
"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little
Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the g
irl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts cr
ying and the mother exclaims,
"Well thank fuck for that !"
"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.
"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that the
little bastard was going to bark!"
============================
Fill in the blank...I"m ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl
e)-Best of all Reply is a must... "
><(((:> I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in
mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:)
When words are not enough.... To express your feelings.... Dont think you're in
LOVE.... You just need to join... ENGLISH SPEAKING COURSE
When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am reall
y so cute" u will overcome your sadness...
Ur Ultimate Ur Logicall Ur lovely Ur Unpredictable In shortcut ur ullu
Scratch & win H____ HE___ HEA__ HEAR_ HEART Congratulations U have won My Heart .
Miss U Dost
Women: Once, a woman was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, sh
e told her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment overnight.
The husband called 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirmed that.
Men: Once, a husband was not at home for a whole night. And he told his wife the
next morning that he stayed at his friend's apartment overnight.
The wife called 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at th
eir apartments that night and the other 5 claimed that he was still there with t
hem!
Conclusion: Men make better friends!!!
==================================================
Two girls are having coffee when one notices that the other girl seems troubled
and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious."
"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market
," she explained.
"Oh, that's too bad," the other girl sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry
for him."
"Yeah, I am," she said. "He'll miss me."
================================================================================
===============
Happy Valentines Day
Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are
mentioned below.
Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentia
ls will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight
if required.
Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can
also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.
Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
bike rides each duration 1 hour
trips to National Highways
5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)
A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finan
ce availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.
Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed
on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fu
lltime Girlfriend)
Plz NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned con
ditions.
There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by r
eferring their friend, colleagues etc.
Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candi
date is not selected.
Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with
Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. to the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected. <<<<< loooooooool ahaha
================================================================================
===============
Election me jitne ke baad MANMOHAN Ji ne kaha
"Yeh to Sonia Ji ke hath ka kamal hai, Varna Is Umar me to mera khara hona mushk
il tha."
Bus mein jagah na hone pe ladki ko ek uncle ne godi mein bitha liya.
Thodi der bad ladki Jhatke se uthi aur boli Uncle :Ya to "Usko" bithao Ya Mujhko
!
Santa: Oye Murge kaise diye?
Murge wala: Rs 50, Rs 40, Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10 itna sasta kyo?
Saab ise aids hai....
Santa: de do mujhe khana hai
GAND thodi marna hai!
Beta kya kaam karte ho?
"Ji samaj seva karta Hoon."
Matlab?
"Gire huve ko uthata hoon,
Bichade huye ko Milata hoon"
Woh Kaise?
"Bra banata hoon."
Husband: Jee karta hai ki
tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon,
tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon,
tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.
Wife: Neeche kya padosi ghusengey?
Gabbar : Yeh haath mujhe dede Thakur
Thakur : Lele Bhenchod, lekin subah
8 baje meri gand dhone aa jaana!
Husband: Darling good night
Wife Aise kasie good night?
Pehle band kar light,
phir lund kar tight,
dubake kar fight,
jab nikal jaye white,
then i feel right,
phir good night!