Phyllis Greenbach

9-28-08
917 words
Dont Rock My Boat!
I used to be a big city girl. Spent y !irst twenty years li"ing in a two-
story !lat in San #rancisco. I can still hear the windows rattling as the streetcars
rolled by. $ tree ay ha"e grown in %roo&lyn but it sure as hell didn't grow in
the city. In !ront o! our building stood a scrawny bush in a three-by-three !oot
hole surrounded by concrete. Slowly cho&ed by car !ues and lac& o! sun( the
landlord replaced the dead bush e"ery couple o! years.
)ature was as rare as a two-headed sna&e. *hene"er I heard about its
grandeur( I had nothing to base it on e+cept a rare postcard !ro ,a&e -ahoe.
.y husband also grew up on a busy street in /ichond( 0ali!ornia( &nown
ore !or its oil re!ineries than its beauty. 1espite all this( or because o! it( we
both had a han&ering to e+perience the great outdoors.

1uring our !irst year o! arriage we located 2ent's /ent-a--ent. *ith
no e+perience( we too& our chances caping at %ig %asin( not too !ar !ro
hoe. 1id the whole cap!ire thing3roasted s'ores on stic&s( watched a !ew
bluebirds and gaw&ed at thousand year old redwoods. 4"ery year since then( in
sall increental steps( we'"e re""ed it up a notch. *e !loated down the
-ruc&ee( ra!ted down the Stanislaus and Sna&e /i"ers and e"en slept outside in
the rain. In .innesota we portaged !or a day( albeit I did the splits getting into
the canoe and landed in the icy water.
,i&e a so!t( whispering wind( the great outdoors continues to beacon to
us. In Sunri"er last year y husband and I put down our bicycles long enough
to e+perience the la5y( eandering 1eschutes /i"er. -o start with( we rented a
two-person &aya&. -hat bobed6 $!ter reading Paddling My Own Canoe, I
!antasi5ed about becoing captain o! y own ship. 7&ay( so it's a odest
drea( considering ost people thin& billowing sails or yachts3not tiny pieces
o! !loating plastic. )e"ertheless( I yearned !or a &aya& o! y own.
%uying one was a lot harder than you thin&. %eing real neophytes( we
shopped around and as&ed a yriad o! stupid 8uestions. $ 2aya&ing 101
course would ha"e been help!ul. %elie"e e( it was a gigantic stretch !ro the
big city to G. I. 9oe's( a large all-purpose sporting goods store in %end.
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*ho &new there was a di!!erence between a paddle and an oar: I had an
additional proble to sol"e. $ple hips. Could I squeeze them into the
opening? What if the kayak flipped over and I ouldn!t get out? I proised
ysel! to lay o!! potato chips3!or the rest o! y li!e6

*e !inally bought two indi"idual &aya&s3red and yellow3and
christened the 0atsup and .ustard. -hen the ;<=(000 8uestion arose. >ow
were we going to get the hoe: *e bought three roo! rac&s be!ore we hit on
the right one. *ho could ha"e predicted we would spend our =8
th
wedding
anni"ersary in the 9oe's par&ing lot in a downpour( with e on a step-ladder(
trying to !igure out how to lash our new possessions to the roo! o! our S?@.
It too& a !ew ore trips into %end to buy the rest o! the paraphernaliaA
li!e Bac&ets( water shoes( and waterproo! pouches to store soe trail i+3li!e
sustaining !ood Bust in case we got stranded on the ri"er. $ !ew days a!ter we
set the &aya&s in the garage( we underwent a !ull dress rehearsal. *e struggled
to retie the &aya&s to the roo! o! the car and had the courage to dri"e down to
the ri"er( praying they wouldn't !all o!! the top.
CIt's too windy(D I coplained( !eeling "ery uch li&e a pseudo-
outdoorsan. #alse start. 4barrassed !or wiping out( we high-tailed it
hoe. )ot willing to untie the &aya&s( we dro"e around !or days !lashing the
li&e two Boc&s wearing letteren Bac&ets. Soeday( I rationali5ed( when the
weather gets good( and the ,abor 1ay crowd disappears( we would be ready to
launch.
I ean to tell you yesterday was the day. *e dro"e to the landing(
between the -rout >ouse /estaurant and the Sunri"er arina. %ecause o! our
practice runs( we anaged to unload the &aya&s li&e a couple o! pros. %ut the
real challenge laid ahead3how to get in without tipping o"er. I &new that I
could handle it because )ature %oy would hold 0atsup( y &aya&( still. %ut I
worried how he would clib into .ustard without !alling in. 4"entually( and
I' really not sure how( he slid into his and we pic&ed up the slow-o"ing
current.
It wasn't e+actly "eliverane on the 1eschutes /i"er( ore li&e three
iles o! sheer bliss. -he ri"er winds through pristine lands( lined on both sides
with arshes and tall pines3sans !ences( buildings( or signs o! people. .y
o"eracti"e iagination turned !irst to the Indians and then to the ,ewis and
0lar& e+pedition. -he only noise I heard was an isolated woodpec&er s&ill!ully
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wor&ing his trade and y paddle slicing rhythically through the spar&ling
water. .y pri"acy was only interrupted by an occasional osprey or butter!ly
dri!ting across the -echnicolor blue s&y.
$ll our e+periences and !alse starts were worth it. $round e"ery bend lay
another scenic "ista. -he beauty o! the ri"er reains a testaent to all that is
right with .other 4arth# $or now I have found the peae and solitude that only
%ature an provide# Please&don!t anyone rok my 'oat(


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