Thomas Dodgson was going to tell her today.

After months of watching her from across the playground--

hearing her laugh as she ran from the playmate who was chasing her, listening to her wise recitations in
class, watching the wind blow through her hair as she bobbed up and down on the swing set--he was
finally going to tell her. He fidgeted in his seat, fighting the urge to sneak one more look at the fair-
haired, blue-eyed girl seated just a few rows behind him. Just as he was about to break his composure and
turn around, Ms. Damien walked into the room.
Everyone stood in greeting. Peace to you, Ms. Damien.
And peace to you, children, she said with a smile. Please sit down.
Ms. Damien was a woman in her late thirties. She wore no makeup, as was usual for women, and
her expression was permanently glazed and cheery. Today were going to discuss our nations history,
and I want to start off the discussion with a simple introduction. Can anyone tell me what they think the
best part of our history is?
The fair-haired, blue-eyed girl raised her hand.
Yes, Abigail?
Its peaceful, she said. We dont have wars.
Very good, very good Abigail, the teacher said. Although, to say that we didnt have wars in
our history isnt quite true. They did happen, in the distant past. And while they were certainly terrible,
they also serve as an important lesson. We study them to remind ourselves of the evils of war and why
they should never happen again.
But thats where the beauty of our nation lies. Despite all the conflict in the past, in the end we
managed to see past all our differences and work together as one people. We purged our society of impure
feelings like greed, violence, and anger and built a society founded on love, friendship, and peace. No one
has any tendencies to hurt others, therefore all problems are solved through cooperation and
understanding. So while the distant past was about war and conflict, when we look beyond that we see a
history of progress, of invention, of a constant struggle to improve. And that, my dear students, is what I
think makes humanity so beautiful.
Now Id like you to get your books and turn them to page twenty-three. Well skip the wars for
now and go on to the first Peace Treaty of
But Thomas had already stopped listening, and was looking back at the girl a few rows behind
him.


Thomas felt as though the butterflies in his stomach had all flocked together and flown backwards against
him, pushing his feet in the opposite direction from the girl in the sandbox. All his bravado had been
replaced with nauseating uncertainty. What if she turned him down? What was he even thinking? This
was a mistake, he thought. He stood rooted to the spot as the internal battle raged on.
The girl turned in his direction, seemed to notice he was staring, and smiled at him. She went
back to talking to her friends.
All at once his butterflies fled, and he marched toward the sandbox where the girl was.
Upon seeing Thomas, the group halted their conversation to greet him. Peace to you, they said
in scattered voices, all smiling. The girl looked up at him with those sapphire blue eyes, apparently
waiting for him to say something.
And p-peace to you, he stammered, his butterflies crawling back one by one. Um, I wanted to
talk to Abigail.
Sure, go ahead, an Asian-looking girl piped up. They didnt invite him to sit down, which was
the only way he knew that they didnt like him.
I...actually wanted to talk to her alone, if you dont mind.
The girls blinked as though he had said something very offensive.
Why? asked a red-headed girl on the right. Do you think somethings wrong with us?
N-no, of course thats not it, I just--it would be better if--
Its fine, said Abigail suddenly, getting up and brushing the sand from her pants. Ill go and
talk to him.
Thomas sighed in relief as Abigail smiled and followed him to a deserted spot by the swing set.
Listen, Abigail, I-- The words caught in his throat. He took a deep breath. I--I like you.
Nothing changed in her expression. Okay, she said in reply.
The butterflies all melded together to form a leaden weight in the pit of his stomach. Okay?
Thats it?
Well, youre really sweet, and Id really like to be your friend, but to be honest, I dont feel the
same way. That doesnt mean I dont like you! she said hastily at the crestfallen look in Thomass face.
I just...not in the same way you do. The small, kind smile never once left her lips.
He knew he shouldnt have felt so bad. He knew he was supposed to return that smile and accept
her offer to be friends. That was the normal thing to do, the expected thing to do. But the leaden weight
was starting to melt into something hot and fluid and burn him up from the inside.
Thomas?
He stared into her maddeningly placid face and felt a sudden, alien desire to say horrible things to
this girl, to hurt her feelings, to make her cry. The intensity of his own thoughts shocked him.
Thomas, are you alright? asked Abigail, fear underscoring her voice just beneath the surface.
But he was already gone, running away without another word.

Sweetie?
Thomas jerked his head up towards the sound. He sat at the kitchen table, absently picking at his
grilled cheese sandwich, not eating any of it.
His mother stood in the doorway, a look of concern shadowing her fine features. Your principal
called just now.
He looked away shamefully. Abigail must have tattled the moment he left the playground. Im
sorry, mom. It was nothing.
It was nothing? she asked, crossing over to the chair opposite him. Honey, you have to look at
me when you talk.
Thomas paused for a moment before turning his face his mother. She was trying to hide it under
layers of concern, but Thomas could see it somewhere behind her eyes. She was afraid. Whether for him
or of him, he couldnt quite tell.
Is it true that you ran away from a girl who was trying to befriend you?
He hesitated a while before nodding.
Without saying goodbye?
Look, said Thomas, I was telling her that I liked her and she didnt like me back and it hurt my
feelings so I ran away. Okay? I ran away instead of he trailed off.
Instead of what, sweetie?
He didnt say anything.
Honey, you know I love you, but what you did was very bad. God knows your father-- she
stopped for the briefest of seconds --your father might even think there was something wrong with you.
Thomas felt a twinge of sadness twist at his gut.
But you were just having a bad day, right? she said. You were having a bad day, and your
emotions just got the better of you, but it was a temporary thing and its not going to happen again,
okay?
I--
You have to apologize to that girl tomorrow, and you cant let anything like this happen again.
There was something almost desperate in her eyes. Please...
She bit her lip and seemed to regain her composure. Well, youre a good boy, right? You know
what to do.
She kissed Thomas on the forehead before leaving him in the kitchen with his uneaten sandwich.

Abigail, he called.
She turned around to face him. For a second he thought saw a flicker of fear in her eyes, but it
was gone before he had time to process it. Hi, Thomas.
About yesterday, Im really sorry, he said. I was just, it hadnt really been the best day for me,
and I guess I just let my emotions get the best of me. But, I thought it over and Im alright now, really.
He tried a smile.
Its fine, she said. Listen, were just about to play hide and seek, do you want to join in?
His face brightened. Sure, of course, Id love to!
Abigail seemed to relax. He was amazed at how easily it had worked out. She led him over to a
corner of the playground where a motley group of her friends were.
Ill be the it, said a boy a few inches taller than Thomas. He made a big show of covering his
eyes and counting. One...two
He ran off to the far edge of the playground, between the flower beds and the building of the
school, where he could squeeze himself into a number of hiding places. To his surprise, he heard footsteps
behind him.
He turned. It was the red-headed girl from before. She was looking at him stolidly, not unkindly,
but not quite amicably either.
Listen, it wasnt Abigail who told the principal about you, she began, before he had the chance
to speak. It was me. You may have everyone else fooled, but...I dont trust you. And I want to protect
my friends.
Ooh-kay, why dont we just focus on finding a hiding place? Thomas said, hoping to cut the
conversation short.
And besides, you never had a chance with her. She likes someone else.
Thomas blanched.
She likes Bradley. The guy whos playing it right now. She has since they were little.
The hot, burning sensation bloomed back to life in his stomach.
So really, if you stay away, it works out for everyone, because you dont get hurt and Abigail
doesnt get hurt and we can all get on with our--
He didnt even realize what he did it. He didnt even push her that hard, just shoved her on one
side so she lost her balance. All he knew was that the little red-headed girl was on the ground, staring up
at him with a horrified expression.
Hey, Im sorry, I didnt mean--
You monster! she yelled, picking herself up and running away screaming. You horrible,
horrible person!
Whats happening? Whats going on?! Ms. Damien stepped out of the building in a panic, and
thats when Thomas knew he was finished. He sank to his knees, shoulders racked with dry sobs.
The girl ran to the teacher and explained everything. All the color drained from the womans face.
She turned to Thomas.
You. Come with me.
Only somewhat aware of his actions, he shuffled forward and followed his teacher, away from the
playground, past the front doors, through the building to a parking lot in the back. Ms. Damiens blue
SUV was parked there. She opened the door. Get in.
Thomas obeyed. She got into the drivers seat and sped off.
He couldnt have said how long they were driving. Fifteen minutes? Fifty? Time stretched into
eternities inside that car, each second its own miniature infinity. Eventually they stopped at a foreboding
white building with heavy, tinted glass doors. There was no sign on the building, no hint as to what it was
for.
Ms. Damien stepped out of the car and gestured for Thomas to do the same. He followed her up
the steps and through the doors. They found themselves in a large foyer with a single receptionists desk.
The clerk at the desk looked up, assessing the situation. His eyes fell on Thomas. Whats he in
for? he asked nonchalantly.
He pushed a girl in the school playground.
Hmm. He nodded understandingly. You may leave if you want. I can take him from here.
She couldnt clear out of the room fast enough.
The clerk took a clipboard and a pen and got up from behind the desk, looking down at Thomas.
This way, please.
The man led him down a long corridor with several unmarked rooms down its length, the same
doors as the entrance. Finally he stopped and opened one. Thomas went inside.
It was a white, sterile room, with nothing but a single bed and a small table. The man shut the
door behind them and started writing on the clipboard. Please lie down on the bed, he said without
looking up. Thomas did as he was told.
NO!
Suddenly the door opened, and Thomass mother crashed through it. You cant do this, she
pleaded. He didnt mean it, I swear, it was just an accident
The man did not seem to wonder how the woman got there, or knew where to find them. He
didnt seem fazed at all. Madam, Im going to have to ask you to step out of the premises--
Please give him another chance, I swear I will keep him under control, he wont hurt anyone,
hell learn, just give him a chance--
Madam, this is your final warning.
I cant let you do this! she screamed. I cant lose anyone again. I need him, just please--
It happened so fast that Thomas couldnt see what happened. His mother was just gone, as
suddenly as she came in. The doorway that had been open moments ago was shut again, though the man
was standing far away from it, his hand on a button on the side of the small table. Thomas was frozen in
fright.
What...what have you done with her?
The man didnt reply, instead he reached to the table and pulled out a syringe. He tapped it at the
base and pushed the plunger until just a drop escaped the tip of the needle.
The now familiar burning sensation started up again. What have you done with her?! What have
you done with my mom?!
But the man forced him back down onto the bed with one hand. He heard a faint whirring sound,
and suddenly Thomas found that he couldnt move, couldnt speak. His heart pounded in his ears as the
reality of the situation hit him.
Now, he said, taking a wet cotton swab and wiping down the side of Thomass neck. Were
just going to put you to sleep, okay? You wont feel a thing.
Unable to protest, Thomas felt the needle plunge into his neck. He was crying.
Peace to you, the man said, as a profound drowsiness overcame Thomas, and he drifted into a
deep, oblivious sleep.