"The Lollipop List" is about a government-funded think-tank headquartered in California. The series will provide many great opportunities, not just for stories, but for production design, wardrobe, soundtrack, etc.
"The Lollipop List" is about a government-funded think-tank headquartered in California. The series will provide many great opportunities, not just for stories, but for production design, wardrobe, soundtrack, etc.
"The Lollipop List" is about a government-funded think-tank headquartered in California. The series will provide many great opportunities, not just for stories, but for production design, wardrobe, soundtrack, etc.
By Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein PLAYTONE PRODUCTIONS GREAT SOCIETY S E T T I N G The Place The RAND Corporation. A government-funded think-tank headquartered in Santa Monica, California. The Time Summer 1966 (though the series would progress forward in time). The year before the 60's truly exploded. A time -- and in California, a place -- witnessing a bizarre juxtaposition of cultures. The Byrds and The Beverly Hillbillies. Hippies and hot rods. Cocktail parties and Cary Grant taking LSD. Of course, this will provide many great opportunities, not just for stories, but for production design, wardrobe, soundtrack, etc. C H A R A C T E R S Dr. Peter Lang. Analyst, Political and Social Sciences. with sideburns, a slightly shaggy haircut, and a rumpled wardrobe. Freewheeling, outspoken, and very intelligent, Lang might be compared to Elliot Gould in "M*A*S*H" or Jack Nicholson in "Five Easy Pieces". In modern terms, think Matthew Broderick. Martin Marion. Director, Poltical and Social Sciences. balding, and bespectacled. Lang's boss and mentor. Seems a bit downtrodden, much like William H. Macy in most of his roles. Walter Kirk. Managing Director. A steely-eyed, no-nonsense former quarterback-type with a flattop. Remember H.R. Haldeman? If not, think of James Woods playing him in "Nixon". Dr. Herbert Kessler. Director, Strategic Studies. The dean of America's nuclear strategy, Kessler is a rotund little man with horn-rimmed glasses. Picture Henry Kissinger or Walter Matthau in "Failsafe". E. Eugene "Gene" Spofford. Executive Director. Tall and charming, with a smooth upper-crust manner and voice. Looks and sounds a lot like either George Plimpton or William F. Buckley, Jr. Angela Fish. Lang's Former Girlfriend. Beautiful and very, very intense. Think Ali McGraw. Helen. Secretary, Political and Social Sciences. Clean-cut and cute as a button, with a wholesome Midwestern charm and just a hint of weirdness. Think of Reese Witherspoon or Naomi Watts in "Mulholland Dr." 2. GREAT SOCIETY ART CARD: "JULY 19, 1966" FADE IN: EXT. THE RAND CORPORATION - SANTA MONICA - DAY Behind a row of cheerful palm trees sits a GREY, VAGUELY SINISTER OFFICE TOWER. INT. RAND - CONFERENCE ROOM - THAT MOMENT Behind a large conference table sit A DOZEN GREY, VAGUELY SINISTER MEN. These are the DIRECTORS of the Rand Corporation. We PAN AROUND the shadowy, smoke-filled room as they talk. KESSLER ...and the U-2 recon photos confirm it -- the Reds have completed their radar station outside Karpinsk. KIRK And your boys will revise accordingly. KESSLER All the northern Ural bombing routes. KIRK Stepping up the megatonnage? KESSLER Shouldn't be necessary. We'll use airbursts to spread the fallout to a couple of nearby cities. Keep our yield nice and crispy. SPOFFORD Ah, like the duck at Madame Wu's. Anything else before we break for lunch? Spofford gets up from his seat at the head of the table. KIRK One more item. Our friends at the Defense Department have asked us to update the Lollipop List. That, of course, being the unofficial name for the list of privileged individuals to be saved in the event of nuclear attack. Congressmen, Cabinet members-- 3. KESSLER All the lucky fuckers who've earned a spot in the bunker. MARION You being among those fuckers. KESSLER Darn tootin'. Spent my career planning World War III. Hell if I'm going to miss my chance to kick back and enjoy it. KIRK This list was composed in 1955. Updating the congressmen and so forth is basically a typing exercise. However, a small number of slots have been allocated to, quote, "persons essential to the preservation of American culture." MARION And how many persons does it take to preserve an entire culture? KIRK According to the Pentagon, six. SPOFFORD May I? Spofford takes the list. SPOFFORD (cont'd) Hmm. Robert Frost. Is he really worth saving? DIRECTOR #1 Fine fellow. Great American poet. SPOFFORD Already dead, though. Seems like a waste of resources. Archibald MacLeish... KIRK ...Not the first name that springs to mind. MARION (with mock gravity) Gentlemen: Can any of us imagine a world without Archibald MacLeish? After a beat, everyone (including Marion) LAUGHS. 4. SPOFFORD Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein... DIRECTOR #2 Hammerstein's dead. KESSLER Well, Rodgers ain't going in solo. He can roast outside with Lerner and Loewe. SPOFFORD (back to the list) Sam Snead... and George Gobel? KIRK Good Christ. SPOFFORD Gentlemen, this list carries the distinct funk of the Eisenhower era. Let's have a more contemporary list done by Friday. (gets up to leave) God forbid we're attacked before then, eh? KESSLER Shit, locked in a bunker with Sam Snead and George Gobel? The survivors will envy the dead. The men CHUCKLE. Spofford EXITS. The others start to leave. KIRK Well, who's going to do the list? Chet? You available? CHET ("DIRECTOR #1") What do I know about pop culture? The last movie I saw starred Lillian Gish. And she wasn't talking. DIRECTOR #3 (thick accent) Don't look at me. I'm from Germany. KIRK Martin, how about you? I'd say this qualifies as Political Science. MARION Ugh. I am up to my eyeballs in Vietnam right now. (thinks) 5. (MORE) But there is a fellow in my department who be might be able to handle it. Dr. Peter Lang? Kirk LOOKS BLANK. MARION (cont'd) Young protg of mine, started a few months back. Double doctorates from Berkeley. Poli-Sci and Sociology. KIRK Yeah. But does he know anything about modern American culture? SMASH CUT TO: EXT. BEACH - THAT MOMENT DR. LANG is relaxing on a towel, wearing cutoffs and sunglasses. "HANKY PANKY" by Tommy James and the Shondells plays on his transistor radio. In the background, we see bikini girls playing volleyball and surfers riding the waves. A scene straight out of a mid-60's Coca-Cola commercial, except that Dr. Lang is reading "MATRIX ANALYSIS: PERSPECTIVES FOR PUBLIC POLICY" and taking notes. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS MARION Seems to have a grasp on it. KIRK Not one of your airy-fairy eggheads, is he? Can he deal with realities? SMASH CUT TO: EXT. BEACH - A MOMENT LATER Dr. Lang is in mid-conversation with a friendly DRUG DEALER. DRUG DEALER Sorry, Doc, I'm all out of Panama Red. LANG Shit! INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS MARION He's not the typical navel-gazing academic, if that's what you mean. He lives in the real world. 6. MARION (cont'd) KIRK That's a first for your department. MARION I think he's the right guy for the job, Walt. But you're free to look for someone else... Everyone else has left. After a beat, Kirk's SIGH echoes throughout the large, empty room. SMASH CUT TO: EXT. BEACH - A LITTLE LATER A pair of black wingtip shoes WALKS UP to Lang in the sand. Lang looks up to see Marion SMILING DOWN at him with a file folder. (The Rand HQ can be seen across the street in the background.) MARION Busy? CUT TO: INT. MADAME WU'S RESTAURANT - LATER An overdecorated Chinese restaurant that's the height of 60's cocktail culture. Marion and Lang dine in a banquette. Lang hardly touches the food as he rambles on excitedly. LANG ...Joseph Heller and Ralph Ellison. And, in music, you've got to have Woody Guthrie. Bob Dylan. Simon & Garfunkel. James Brown, possibly. The Supremes. The Rolling Stones. The Byrds. And you absolutely have to save the Beatles. MARION I think you're going to have to narrow it down some. LANG Okay, so forget Ringo. And Garfunkel. MARION May I put in a vote for Liberace? Lang shoots him a dubious look. MARION (cont'd) Never mind. It's your project. You make the calls. 7. LANG Six spaces... It's tough, Martin. How can I preserve all of American culture with just six cots in a cave somewhere? And what criteria should I use for this post- apocalyptic society? I mean, Truman Capote probably won't eat much, but he certainly won't mate with anybody. And Cassius Clay would probably be helpful, but who's he going to fight -- Hubert Humphrey? Just then, Kessler APPROACHES with a YOUNG STARLET on his arm. KESSLER Gentlemen. How goes the Lollipop List? MARION Hello, Herb. Actually, Dr. Lang is handling that project now. Peter Lang, I'd like you to meet Dr. Herbert Kessler. The dean of America's nuclear strategy. Lang gets up to SHAKE KESSLER'S HAND. LANG Ah. Doctor Doomsday, I presume. STARLET (confused, to Kessler) Huh? KESSLER (with phony modesty) Oh, that's just something they called me on the cover of Time magazine. STARLET (impressed, sexily) Oooh. KESSLER You can call me Herb. Say, Lang, I've got a candidate for your list. Miss... er, what's your name again, honey? STARLET Darlene Gornik. KESSLER Miss Gornik here has played an important part in American culture. 8. (MORE) She had a walk-on role in "Petticoat Junction" last week. He WINKS at Lang. LANG That's, er, wonderful. We'll definitely put her into consideration then. KESSLER Much obliged. Now, shall we adjourn to my office, Miss Gornik? I can show you some beautiful photos of South Pacific islands I've blown up. Kessler WALKS OFF with the starlet. Marion turns to Lang. MARION Did you see her on "Petticoat Junction"? LANG That show is a piece of crap. Only one worth watching is "The Beverly Hillbillies." MARION Now, see, it's that ability to draw these fine cultural distinctions that makes you perfect for this project. LANG Hey, every think-tank needs a yahoo, right? And if it's my low- brow sensibilities rather than my sixteen years of college that got me this assignment, so be it. I'm grateful, Martin. Thank you. I know some people have to wait years for their own project. MARION You deserve it, Lang. You bring a fresh perspective to RAND. And with everything that's happening in the world right now, God knows we need it. A WAITER brings the check. Marion takes out his Diner's Club card. MARION (cont'd) Unfortunately, you'll still have to operate within the confines of our bureaucracy. You know this project requires a security clearance? 9. KESSLER (cont'd) LANG Security clearance? MARION Mandatory for anyone dealing with nuclear secrets. But it's a formality, really. Just a few simple questions... SMASH CUT TO: CLOSE-UP - GRIM AIR FORCE LIEUTENANT LIEUTENANT Have you ever practiced any deviant sexual behavior? WIDEN TO REVEAL we're... INT. RAND - CONFERENCE ROOM - THE NEXT MORNING Lang sits across the table from TWO STERN AIR FORCE OFFICERS. There's no one else in the room except a STENOGRAPHER quietly typing in the corner. LANG (taken aback) Excuse me? LIEUTENANT Have you ever practiced any deviant sexual behavior? LANG Not as much as I'd like. The officers are not amused. They exchange a glance, then... LIEUTENANT Okay, let's go on to the next question. Have you ever purchased or consumed illegal narcotics? LANG That's between me and my dealer. The Lieutenant takes off his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose. The other officer (a Captain) leans forward. CAPTAIN For half an hour now, Doctor, you've been giving us these flip answers. I was under the impression you wanted this clearance. LANG Yeah, I do. But these questions are bullshit. 10. STENOGRAPHER I'm sorry, did you say-- LANG "Bullshit." I said these questions are bull shit. The stenographer looks confused, then apparently finds the right keys to type "bullshit" and proceeds. LANG (CONT'D) And what I may or may not have smoked and where I may or may not have put my cock-- (to stenographer) "Cock." C-O-- STENOGRAPHER Got it. LANG -- has absolutely no bearing on my ability to perform this work. CAPTAIN Dr. Lang, I don't know what your work entails, but I do know it involves the highest level of security clearance there is. Presumably, it has something to do with nuclear weapons. And if someone working with nuclear weapons were to be subject to blackmail, because of a drug problem or a sexual indiscretion, millions of lives could be put at risk. LIEUTENANT We don't ask these questions out of a prurient interest in your private life, Doctor. We ask them out a sincere concern for the safety and security of 200 million Americans. As this sinks in, Lang's eyes drift to a PHOTO OF A MUSHROOM CLOUD on the wall. He gazes at it for a moment, then SIGHS IN RESIGNATION. Then, a bit embarrassed by his earlier behavior, Lang sits up straight with A NEWLY COOPERATIVE DEMEANOR. LANG I understand. Ask away. LIEUTENANT Have you ever practiced any deviant sexual behavior? 11. LANG Yes. (beat) I once slept with two girls at the same time. The lieutenant NODS soberly. LANG (CONT'D) I assure you it was not un-American in any way. Actually, it was rather patriotic. It happened on the Fourth of July. LIEUTENANT Yes. Anything else? LANG Um... are blowjobs considered deviant? CAPTAIN Until 1961 they were. That's since been revised. LANG Nothing else, then. LIEUTENANT Have you ever purchased or consumed illegal narcotics? LANG Yes. (beat) I've, uh... Well, at Berkeley, I... (beat) Look, is it okay if I just type up a list and give it to you? (to stenographer) Some of them are kind of hard to spell. LIEUTENANT Fine. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party? LANG (laughs) Boy, that's a relic of the McCarthy era, huh? LIEUTENANT Yes, sir. But we're required to ask. 12. LANG Well, no, I'm not a Communist. I'm a firm believer in the American Way. Start at the bottom, work your way up to the top. (beat) Sorry, I just remembered another deviant sex act I need to ask you about. INT. RAND - POLITICAL & SOCIAL SCIENCES DIVISION - MORNING A bullpen area in a style best described as "1950's Corporate Drab." In the center of the room are four grey metal desks occupied by the FOUR YOUNG WOMEN who comprise the secretarial pool. At the rear is an executive office belonging to Martin Marion, and around the perimeter are large, beige cubicles occupied by the Division's ANALYSTS. ONE OF THE CUBICLES is not like the others. It's sloppy, piled high with books, newspapers and magazines (including "Esquire", "Down Beat" and "Mad"), as well as old Coke bottles, Frito bags, etc. This is... LANG'S CUBICLE Right now, Dr. Lang leans back in his chair, pondering a CHALKBOARD on the wall in front of him. On it are MORE THAN 100 NAMES, a catalog of 60's cultural heroes running the gamut from Woody Guthrie to Malcolm X. MARTIN MARION enters the bullpen and heads toward his office with his hat, briefcase, and bagged lunch. But he stops when he SEES LANG. MARION Gracious. This is the first time I've seen you here before noon. LANG Hey, I can get up early when there's something important to do. Like save American culture or get my car back from the impound. MARION (re: chalkboard) Quite a list you've assembled there. LANG Yeah, gotta narrow it down some. Then comes the hard part. Contacting these people, interviewing them, and deciding who's going to live or die. 13. MARION Friday, by five o'clock, please. Banana? He offers Lang a banana from his bag. Lang defers and Marion CROSSES AWAY. A secretary, HELEN, approaches with a large stack of file folders and magazine clippings. HELEN Dr. Lang, here's all the material I could pull on... (stumbling on some of the names) Andy Warhol, Vladimir Nabokov, Bob Dylan, Marshall McLuhan, Jack Kerouac, and Lenny Bruce. And I've gotten telephone numbers for Norman Mailer, Allen Ginsburg, and Alexander Calder. But I'm having trouble finding any contact information for J.D. Salinger. LANG (beat) Eh, he lives in the woods. He'll probably survive anyway. HELEN Now, as for this "Man Ray", I assume this is a typo-- WALTER KIRK enters the bullpen. One of the secretaries looks surprised, STOPS TYPING, and reaches for her intercom. SECRETARY Mr. Kirk! I'll tell Dr. Marion you're here. KIRK No, no. This is a personal call. Actually looking for a Dr. Peter Lang. Spotting Lang's name on the cubicle, he WALKS UP. HELEN Mr. Kirk, here, please, have a seat. She clears a pizza box, a tennis shoe, a deflated beach ball, and a Ouija board off of Lang's guest chair so that Kirk can sit down. Then she CROSSES AWAY. In Kirk's speech, we can hear the uncomfortable strain of a huge hardass trying to sound friendly. KIRK (shaking Lang's hand) Walt Kirk, Managing Director. 14. (MORE) (beat) So, Pete... How's it going? LANG Well, I'm-- KIRK Listen, Pete, I know this is your project. And under RAND protocol, you call the shots. That said, I got a jingle this morning from an old friend -- Dick Nixon. Former Vice-President Dick Nixon? And Dick would consider it a personal favor if you'd include Jackie Gleason on your list. A BEAT OF SILENCE as this statement hangs in the air. Lang looks pained, but tries to be diplomatic. LANG The entertainer? Jackie Gleason? (off Kirk's nod) Hmmm. Well, I'd say, given the small number of slots available... that, perhaps, a slightly, er, more "substantial" contribution to the culture might be required to-- KIRK Sure. I'll just tell Dick that some pointy-headed Berkeley snob says his judgement's worth shit, and that he and his friends can go jump in a fucking lake. Kirk gets up, SEETHING, and walks off. But not before NOTICING ALL THE NAMES on the chalkboard. He points to the name "JOHN LENNON" and smirks. KIRK (cont'd) Bunker's for American citizens only, "Pete." Kirk LEAVES. LANG Gleason hasn't been funny since '56, "Walt". Lang gets up, SIGHS, and erases "JOHN LENNON" from the board. Then the other Beatles. Then "SAMUEL BECKETT" and "MARSHALL McLUHAN" and "GRAHAM GREENE" and so on and so on... DISSOLVE TO: 15. KIRK (cont'd) INT. RAND - MEN'S ROOM - THAT EVENING Lang STANDS AT A URINAL, looking a little tired. Kessler ENTERS and stands at the urinal next to him. KESSLER Ah, Lang. Got something for you. He reaches into his briefcase and passes Lang a HEADSHOT OF DARLENE GORNIK. KESSLER (cont'd) That's got all the info you'll need for your list. Phone number, Social Security number, and of course, the most important numbers: 36-24-36. Kessler WAGGLES HIS EYEBROWS. LANG Oh. I, uh, thought you were kidding before... KESSLER Nosiree. Tell me something, Lang. Are there any women on that list you're compiling? LANG (realizes, embarrassed) Actually, no. KESSLER See? And there will be 435 Congressmen, 100 Senators, and two dozen Cabinet officers in that bunker. I, for one, do not wish to fight them for the attentions of Miss Lynda Bird Johnson. Ergo, Miss Gornik. (beat) Do me this favor, kid, and maybe I can get you in there, too. Put you on the support staff list, perhaps with a special lady of your own? Do you have a special lady? LANG Um, no... Not anymore. We can see from Lang's face that Kessler has touched on a sore spot. KESSLER No problemo. I can get one for you. Kessler SLAPS LANG ON THE BACK and EXITS. 16. EST. SHOT - THE RAND CORPORATION - THE NEXT AFTERNOON INT. LANG'S CUBICLE - THAT MOMENT There are many more file folders and clippings strewn about the cubicle. Lang has clearly been working hard. Only about 30 names remain on the chalkboard. LANG Helen? Have we heard back from Bob Dylan yet? HELEN (O.S. IN BULLPEN) No, Doctor. And I've left word several times. Also, a friend of yours called to say that "Panama Red" is in town. Shall I arrange a meeting? LANG What? HELEN (O.S.) A meeting. For you to purchase your marijuana. (beat) If you're busy, I can run down to the beach and buy it for you. Lang peers out of his cubicle to see Helen SMILING EAGERLY. LANG Er, no thank you, Helen. Maybe later. Lang GRABS HIS LEGAL PAD and looks at the next name. Then, he picks up the (rotary) telephone and DIALS. After several rings... OLD WOMAN (V.O. ON PHONE) Guthrie residence. LANG Hello. May I speak to Woody please? OLD WOMAN (V.O. ON PHONE) He's out in the shed. Just a minute... While Lang is waiting, the PHONE RINGS at Helen's desk. HELEN Political and Social Sciences. (beat) Collect, from Berkeley, California? Yes, we'll accept. (beat) 17. (MORE) I'm sorry, Miss. Dr. Lang is on the other line right now. Lang listens in curiously. HELEN (cont'd) I'll be happy to take a mess-- (then, shocked) There is no need for that, Miss! I don't care who the "f" you-- Stop-- Young lady, you have the foulest mouth I have ever-- At this, Lang's EYES WIDEN in recognition. His JAW DROPS. LANG I'll take that, Helen! I'll take it! WOODY GUTHRIE (V.O. ON PHONE) Hello, this is Wood-- CLICK. Lang punches the other line. LANG Angela? CUT TO: EXT. PHONE BOOTH - BERKELEY - THAT MOMENT ANGELA FISH crouches in a phone booth on Telegraph Avenue, the main drag of Berkeley's counter-cultural scene. She's panicked and livid. ANGELA Peter, what the fuck is going on?! I come home to find two fucking Nazis in Air Force uniforms waiting outside my goddam apartment?! Indeed, the TWO OFFICERS from earlier can be seen in the background, waiting at the door to a three-story walk-up. ANGELA (cont'd) I know you're responsible for-- (to someone o.s.) No, I don't have any fucking spare change! Beat it! (back to phone) This has something to do with you and that goddam job, Peter, doesn't it?! Doesn't it?! ON LANG LANG (concerned) Yeah... it probably does. 18. HELEN (cont'd) (MORE) Listen, just lay low, and I'll be up there tonight. ANGELA (beat) You better bring my fucking Judy Collins record. CUT TO: OVERHEAD SHOT - 101 FREEWAY - AFTERNOON Lang's beat-up Volkswagen Beetle ZOOMS past a sign reading "SAN FRANCISCO - 340 MILES." RADIO DEEJAY (v.o.) ...raid on a Viet Cong stronghold in Quang Ngai province. Fifteen casualties were reported. (beat) Speaking of raids, gang, how 'bout the latest from Paul Revere and the Raaaaiders? "HUNGRY" by Paul Revere and the Raiders KICKS IN as Lang's car speeds out of frame. EST. SHOT - BERKELEY, 1966 - NIGHT INT. ANGELA'S APARTMENT - THAT MOMENT A SMALL, CLUTTERED APARTMENT with several overstuffed bookshelves, typical of graduate students. On the walls are a North Vietnamese flag, a portrait of Ho Chi Minh, and assorted anti-war posters. We hear the DOOR UNLOCK, and ANGELA LEADS LANG INSIDE. LANG ...what those Air Force guys were looking for. You didn't say anything to them, did you? ANGELA Oh, sure. I invited them up for tea and we traded recipes for napalm. (beat) Of course I didn't fucking say anything to them! I waited outside until they left! The only one who talked to them was Zager. LANG "Zager"? 19. LANG (cont'd) She nods toward ZAGER, a thin, scraggly-bearded guy wearing only jockey shorts, asleep on the mattress in the next room. Lang LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE. ANGELA He moved in after you left. LANG (beat, then) Are you sleeping with him? ANGELA That's really none of your business anymore, is it? Zager, wake up. C'mon, you lazy piece of shit, get up. Zager rouses himself, looking sleepy and/or stoned. ZAGER What? Oh, hey, baby... ANGELA Those Air Force goons. What did they want? ZAGER They wanted to know everything I knew about Dr. Peter Lang. So I told 'em the truth. I don't know jack shit about Dr. Peter Lang. Never heard of him. LANG Yet you have no qualms about wearing his old underwear. Zager looks down at his jockey shorts, confused. ZAGER What? LANG Never mind. You can keep them. Lang SHUTS THE DOOR on Zager. LANG (cont'd) Well, doesn't sound like they got anything on me. ANGELA (disdainful) Typical. You're more concerned about preserving your pathetic Establishment credentials than about-- 20. LANG Look, we don't need to replay the entire break-up, okay? It's over. There's just one thing left we need to take care of. SMASH CUT TO: INT. ANGELA'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - A LITTLE LATER Lang and Angela sit on the floor in front of the stereo, DIVIDING UP THEIR RECORD COLLECTION. LANG Well, the Judy Collins is yours, obviously. ANGELA Ornette Coleman is yours. You know, I have enough trouble with the FBI and the pigs up here without you embroiling me in whatever sinister shit you're up to now. LANG Herman's Hermits, that's mine. I am not involved in any "sinister shit". ANGELA Yes you are. RAND is one of the biggest cogs in the war machine. A war that -- don't you touch that Supremes album, fucker -- A war that, at one time, you were committed to ending. Remember the rallies? The meetings? Or was that all just an act to get me into the sack? Roy Orbison's yours. LANG (smiles wistfully) Would've done just about anything to get you into the sack. But no, I -- "Rubber Soul" and "Hard Day's Night" are yours, "Help!" and "Beatles '65" are mine -- I did believe in ending the War. And I still do. I just got real. ANGELA And shaved your beard and put on a tie and turned the sexy radical I fell in love with into some junior Dr. Strangelove. Why? 21. LANG Because if you want to change the world, Angela, that's how you have to do it. Nobody cares about a bunch of long-haired nineteen year- olds shouting in the streets. They can't even vote! Whether you like it or not, the future of this country is determined by middle- aged white men in smoke-filled conference rooms. And it always will be. So, instead of putting up an utterly futile fight against those men, I joined them. (beat) Whose Dylan album is this? He holds up "The Times They Are A-Changin'". ANGELA Both of ours. That was the first record we ever bought together. LANG Right. (beat) I'm on the inside now, Angela. And I plan to use every scrap of power I can get to shape this country into the place you and I wanted it to be. ANGELA (skeptical) Really. And what have you done so far? Having no good answer for this, Lang sits in UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE. His gaze drifts down to THE FACE OF BOB DYLAN. CUT TO: INT. POLITICAL & SOCIAL SCIENCES DIVISION - THE NEXT MORNING Lang ENTERS, carrying the Dylan record, and walks past Helen. LANG Morning, Helen. Have we gotten through to Bob Dylan yet? HELEN No, Doctor. A young man at his office assured me he'd pass on the message, but I don't trust him. He seemed homosexual. LANG Uh... well, you keep trying. It's important. How about Lenny Bruce? 22. HELEN Nothing yet, sir. But you do have some messages from yesterday afternoon... She follows Lang to his cubicle, reading from A STACK OF PHONE SLIPS. HELEN (cont'd) At 3:12 p.m., Allan Ginsburg called. His message was "I want nothing to do with RAND or its cadre of war-mongering pseudo- intellectual military-industrial star-spangled mass-murdering--" (holds up multiple slips) Well, he went on for several minutes. Do you -- LANG That's okay, I get the idea... Did he even know why we were calling? HELEN All I tell them is that I'm calling for Dr. Peter Lang of the RAND Corporation. This project is top secret, isn't it? LANG Yeah... As he's erasing Allan Ginsburg's name from the chalkboard, Lang is surprised to see A NEW NAME HAS BEEN ADDED in distinctly different handwriting. LANG (cont'd) ...Helen, did you write "Bob Hope" on here? HELEN No, sir. Tampering with classified blackboards is a felonious offense. LANG Huh... (erasing "Bob Hope") Any other messages? HELEN Yes. At 4:25 p.m., Jack Kerouac called. His message was "Bug off". Or, words to that effect. LANG Got it. He erases Kerouac's name. 23. HELEN And between 4:30 and 6:45 p.m., we received essentially identical messages from Norman Mailer, Malcolm X, Henry Miller, Andy Warhol, and Ray Bradbury's wife. Apparently, he doesn't like to use the telephone. LANG I'm sorry you had to be subjected to all that abuse, Helen. HELEN That's all right, Doctor. It was directed at you. INT. LANG'S CUBICLE - LUNCHTIME Lang glumly eats a sandwich while staring at his radically depleted list. Only about a dozen names remain on the chalkboard. "Bob Dylan" and "Lenny Bruce" are now circled and starred. Meanwhile, the telephone RINGS and RINGS. LANG Helen? Helen? No response. Lang gives up and ANSWERS THE PHONE himself. LANG (cont'd) Hello? VOICE (V.O. ON PHONE) Dr. Lang! LANG ...Yes? VOICE (V.O. ON PHONE) Glad I caught you! Sid Slotkin from the William Morris Agency! Heard about the project you've been working on. Fan-tastic! LANG (incredulous) How did you hear-- SLOTKIN (V.O. ON PHONE) Listen, have I got the guy for you! Norm Crosby. I tell ya, Norm would be dynamite in a bunker! LANG I really don't think-- 24. SLOTKIN (V.O. ON PHONE) Let him come over and do a set for you. Norm has some H-bomb material that will blow you away, pun intended. But you gotta act fast, cause he's booked at Harrah's for the-- LANG I am not interested in Norm Crosby! Now I've got to go-- SLOTKIN (V.O. ON PHONE) Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Okay, screw Norm. I've got another client for ya -- Buddy Ebsen. From "The Beverly Hillbillies"? Lang doesn't hang up. SLOTKIN (V.O. ON PHONE) (CONT'D) You like the Hillbillies? LANG ...Yeah. Actually, I do. SLOTKIN (V.O. ON PHONE) Fan-tastic! 'Cause Buddy's a big fan of your work. He loves this project. Dr. Lang, how would you like to go over and meet Buddy on the set of "The Beverly Hillbillies"? We can see from the excitement on Lang's face that he is SERIOUSLY TEMPTED. He glances at his watch. LANG I don't know if I can... SLOTKIN (V.O. ON PHONE) Come on! You sound like you could use a pick-me-up. Go on over, share a bagel with Jed Clampett. LANG (beat, then) Listen. Buddy Ebsen is not in serious contention for this project, nor will he ever be. But I do like the show, and I'd love to meet him. SLOTKIN (V.O. ON PHONE) Gotcha. Now let's talk business. I understand you're interested in my client Darlene Gornik... 25. EST. SHOT - GENERAL SERVICES STUDIOS - LATER THAT DAY Stage Four. An enormous portrait of the Beverly Hillbillies decorates the exterior wall. INT. BEVERLY HILLBILLIES STAGE - THAT MOMENT A good-natured BUDDY EBSEN is showing around Dr. Lang, who is completely star-struck. BUDDY EBSEN ...and that's the kitchen. Right behind that's the Commerce Bank set, and over there's our swimming pool. LANG The see-ment pond! BUDDY EBSEN Uh-huh. Let's have a seat over here, why don't we? He leads Lang to a row of DIRECTOR'S CHAIRS marked "BUDDY EBSEN - Jed", "IRENE RYAN - Granny", "MAX BAER - Jethro", etc. Lang MARVELS at them. BUDDY EBSEN (CONT'D) Take Max's. He's over in Wardrobe, getting his Jethrine costume on. LANG So it's okay if I just "take my shoes off, sit a spell"? BUDDY EBSEN (chuckles) You go right ahead. Buddy takes a seat next to Lang. BUDDY EBSEN (cont'd) Sid told me you were fan of show, Doc. And that's why I said I'd meet you. As for this bunker business... Lang SHIFTS UNCOMFORTABLY in his chair. BUDDY EBSEN (cont'd) ...well, don't give it a second thought. I know I'm not some sort of cultural treasure. I'm no Archibald MacLeish. Just an actor, likes to make people laugh. The thought of Jed Clampett being singled out to survive World War III... Wellll, doggies! 26. Lang can't help but LAUGH at this. Buddy WINKS. BUDDY EBSEN (cont'd) That was for you. No, I realize you're doing serious work, and it's something I truly do respect. LANG Thank you, sir. It's really nice to hear someone say that. BUDDY EBSEN Hell, you boys deserve a pat on the back. Trying to figure out what's best for this country? In these times? That's just about the toughest job there is. LANG It's not easy. But it is right across the street from the beach. STAGEHAND (O.S.) Is there a Dr. Lang here? Got a phone call for Dr. Lang. Lang turns to see a STAGEHAND standing by a wall phone in the distance. LANG (getting up, to Buddy) Uh... Excuse me. He walks over, looking puzzled, and GRABS THE PHONE. LANG (cont'd) This is Dr. Lang. HELEN (V.O. ON PHONE) Doctor, I'm sorry to interrupt, I know you're with the Hillbillies, but this is an emergency. Your landlord just called. Someone's broken into your apartment. LANG Shit! Thank you, Helen. (hangs up, calls over to Buddy) Mr. Ebsen, something's come up, I've got to go. But thanks, thank you very much. Buddy waves goodbye as Lang RUNS OUT. MAX BAER walks over, dressed as "Jethrine". MAX BAER Who was that? 27. BUDDY EBSEN Fella from the RAND Corporation my agent sent over. MAX BAER God, I wish I had your agent. EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER Lang's VW SCREECHES TO A HALT out front. INT. LANG'S APARTMENT - A MOMENT LATER Lang ENTERS to find the Air Force LIEUTENANT and CAPTAIN in his apartment, along with a significantly more sinister COLONEL. The place has been RANSACKED. The Lieutenant is closing up his briefcase, and it looks like they were getting ready to leave. LANG What are you doing here?! Get the hell out of my apartment!! The Colonel signals to the others, who follow him toward the door. COLONEL Don't act so surprised, Doctor. You know why we were here. LANG I don't see what gives you the right to-- CAPTAIN You could make this a whole lot easier on yourself, son. All it takes is two words... LIEUTENANT Bob. Hope. LANG What?! COLONEL Put him back on the goddam list. LANG (outraged) No!! Fuck you! And fuck Bob Hope! The officers remain stone-faced. As they EXIT, the Colonel turns to Lang. 28. COLONEL He's done a whole helluva lot more for this nation than punks like you. LANG (beat) Shouldn't you be in Vietnam? The colonel GRUMBLES and slams the door. Lang flops down on his couch, exhausted, and surveys the damage. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - THE NEXT MORNING Lang COMES OUT the door, looking haggard. He bends over and picks up his Los Angeles Herald-Tribune. Near the bottom of page one is a small article with the headline "COMEDIAN LENNY BRUCE DEAD OF DRUG OVERDOSE." LANG Aw, shit! He tosses the paper in the bushes and WALKS TOWARD HIS CAR. Across the street, TWO THUGS in dark suits get out of a Cadillac and HEAD HIM OFF. THUG #1 You Lang? LANG Yeah... THUG #2 Your list. Tear it up. This is the new one. He SHOVES a piece of paper into Lang's hand. LANG (reading it) "1, Frank Sinatra. 2, Dean Martin. 3, Sammy Davis, Jr. 4, Joey Bishop. 5, Peter Lawford. 6, Joey Heatherton." Lang looks at the list in amused disbelief. LANG (cont'd) What about Frank Sinatra, Jr.? What about Nancy? What kind of Dad would-- Thug #2 PUNCHES LANG in the face. THUG #2 Don't make fun. 29. They walk back to their Cadillac, leaving Lang MOANING and CLUTCHING HIS FACE in the middle of the street. EXT. RAND - PARKING LOT - A LITTLE LATER Lang pulls into a parking space and GETS OUT OF HIS CAR. He now has a BLACK EYE and appears to be nearly PARALYZED WITH RAGE. As he journeys towards his office, we follow along with CONTINUOUS STEADICAM ACTION. He passes Walter Kirk, changing out of his golf cleats in the front seat of his Buick Riviera. KIRK Just got back from golf with Dick Nixon. And let me tell you, pal -- if Dick Nixon ever gets back in the saddle, you are fucked. Lang says nothing and continues into the building. IN THE LOBBY Kessler spots Lang and HURRIES ALONG beside him. KESSLER Kid. Hope it's not too late to make a revision. This is who I want in the bunker. He pulls a HEADSHOT of a COMPLETELY NEW STARLET out of his briefcase and thrusts it into Lang's hand. Lang KEEPS WALKING, and Kessler -- who can't keep up -- CALLS AFTER HIM. KESSLER (cont'd) Make sure to take Gornik off the list. Don't let her in! I want her far away and incinerated! Lang wings the photo into a potted plant and CONTINUES ON. IN THE HALLWAY Martin Marion passes Lang and stops to talk to him. MARION Lang, I'm afraid we've run into a little snag regarding your security clear-- (off his look) Er, we'll talk once you've settled in. IN THE BULLPEN Lang enters and MAKES A BEELINE for his cubicle. Helen RUNS UP to him, PANICKED. 30. HELEN Doctor, I, I don't know what's going on, but-- (gasp) Oh my goodness, look at your eye! I'll get some ice. But you should know that this morning, some men came, and they-- well, they-- Lang steps into... HIS CUBICLE ...to see that it's COMPLETELY EMPTY. The chalkboard is gone, too. The only thing remaining is his telephone, which sits in the middle of the floor. Lang just stands there, staring in DUMBSTRUCK FURY. HELEN I, I did manage to save this... She holds up his Dylan album, smiling weakly. After a long beat of silence, the TELEPHONE RINGS. Lang picks it up. FAMOUS VOICE (V.O. ON PHONE) Yeah, this is Bob Hope. What's this I hear about you pickin' Norm Crosby? He's a Jew, y'know. I don't know what kinda half-assed future you're plannin' for us, kid, but I don't like it. You and your long-haired-- LANG (freaking out) EEEYAAAAGH!!! In a tremendous explosion of pent-up rage, Lang HURLS THE PHONE through a plate glass window, SHATTERING IT. For several seconds, the only sound is SEAGULLS IN THE DISTANCE. Then... SPOFFORD (O.S., DISTANT) Dr. Lang? Lang peers out the window. Three stories below is Executive Director SPOFFORD, looking up quizzically at the telephone dangling above him. SPOFFORD (cont'd) May I see you in my office, please? INT. EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - SEVERAL MINUTES LATER The inner sanctum. Photos of Spofford with Presidents and Prime Ministers decorate one wall, and a sideboard is lined with models of prototype missiles, bombers, and spacecraft. 31. Bathed in stark shadows from the venetian blinds, it's an intimidating setting. Spofford sits behind his desk. Lang ENTERS, abashed. SPOFFORD We'll send you the bill for the window. Have a seat, please. Lang SITS DOWN in a leather wingback guest chair. Amidst the stateliness of the office, Lang -- with his black eye, shaggy sideburns, and rumpled suit -- looks positively insignificant. LANG ...Sir, I think I should apolo-- SPOFFORD As you've no doubt guessed, there's been some difficulty with your security clearance. Spofford gets up from his desk, walks over to Lang, and DROPS A THICK FILE FOLDER on his lap. Stamped on the front in red is the word "REJECTED." SPOFFORD (cont'd) Go ahead. Take a look. Lang opens the file. On top is a BLACK & WHITE PHOTO of Lang (with beard and longer hair) at a Berkeley anti-war rally with Angela. He SIGHS, then flips through the rest of the file. It contains PHOTO AFTER PHOTO of the two of them at marches, meetings, sit-ins, and so on. SPOFFORD (cont'd) They might have been willing to overlook the drugs, the sex, but when you start questioning war... Well, that's their raison d'etre. LANG To be honest, sir, I-- SPOFFORD Doesn't bother me, particularly. You're entitled to your opinion. And God knows, we'd never get anywhere around here if we didn't use men with questionable pasts. Have you ever visited our Rocket Science Division? LANG There do seem to be a number of-- 32. SPOFFORD A man down there actually called me "Fuhrer" the other day! (beat) There is one matter I must ask you about. Rather serious. I'm told you lied during your interview. LANG I didn't really ever "lie", I just-- SPOFFORD Oh, you lied. LANG I did? SPOFFORD Yes. You said you weren't a member of the Communist Party. LANG (genuinely baffled) But I'm not-- I never-- Spofford reaches over to his desk and picks up a glassine "evidence" envelope. He takes out a SMALL CARD and shows it to Lang. SPOFFORD "The North Vietnamese People's Revolutionary Party. Berkeley, California, Chapter." Membership card signed by Dr. Peter Lang, March 12, 1965. Care to explain? A look of recognition and regret comes across Lang's face. He'd clearly forgotten about this. Now, he struggles to find the right words to answer Spofford. LANG I did sign that card, sir. But it was under circumstances that... There was an emotional component to... (deep breath, then) To be blunt, I signed it to get a girl into the sack. SPOFFORD (beat) Did it work? LANG Yes... But then I fell in love with her. 33. SPOFFORD The gentlemanly thing to do. So, you're not here to plot the violent overthrow of the U.S. Government? LANG No. Though I wouldn't mind changing a few things. SPOFFORD Good. Because we don't make any money if we keep things the same, now do we? Spofford slips the card into the folder and takes it from Lang. He grabs a fountain pen, scratches out "REJECTED", and writes "APP'D -- E.E.S." He tosses the folder into his "OUT" box and sits back down at his desk. Lang is surprised, pleased, and somewhat awed. SPOFFORD (cont'd) Now, as for this "Lollipop List", please have it in by tomorrow. He slides SIX LARGE MANILA ENVELOPES across the desk to Lang. SPOFFORD (cont'd) These envelopes contain medical questionnaires, secrecy affidavits, and instructions on who to call and where to report in the event of nuclear attack. They are to be given to your six choices by 5:00 p.m. LANG About that, sir. I've been having a little trouble compiling-- SPOFFORD Oh, for Pete's sake. This isn't the world's most difficult assignment. Just pick six people who, in your mind, best represent American culture. Use whatever criteria you like. LANG Yessir. SPOFFORD Let's be done with this, eh? There are other projects I'd like your input on. Lang SMILES, nods, and picks up the envelopes. EST. SHOT - COLUMBIA RECORDS - LATER THAT MORNING 34. INT. COLUMBIA RECORDS - LOBBY - JUST THEN Lang ENTERS the building and crosses to the RECEPTIONIST. LANG (all business) I need to see Bob Dylan. No, I don't have an appointment. This is an urgent matter of national sec-- RECEPTIONIST (doesn't care) Fourth floor. INT. BOB DYLAN'S OUTER OFFICE - AN HOUR LATER Gold records and blow-ups of Dylan's album covers line the walls. Dr. Lang sits impatiently on a sofa, clutching his briefcase, as FOUR HIPPER-THAN-THOU ASSISTANTS go about their business, not giving him a second glance. LANG Excuse me. (no response) Excuse me? ASSISTANT #1 ("GRAHAM") (snippy) Yes? LANG I've been waiting for over an hour. I was told Mr. Dylan was in today, and that I might be able to see him? GRAHAM Who told you that? LANG The guy who was at that desk before. With the beard, and the vest? GRAHAM A vest? Yuck. I don't know who that would be. And who do you represent? LANG I'm from the RAND Corporation. GRAHAM The photocopier company? Mr. Dylan does not meet with salesmen. 35. LANG No, it's a private operations research corporation, a think-tank, affiliated with the Air Force. The assistants LOOK AT LANG like he is from Mars. ASSISTANT #2 ("SUZIE") Are you sure you're not looking for Bob Hope's office? LANG No! I need to speak to Bob Dylan personally about a top secret matter. Frankly, it involves life and death. GRAHAM I'll see what I can do. He crosses to his desk and SITS DOWN. Then, he just STARTS LEAFING CASUALLY through a copy of the "L.A. Free Press". GRAHAM (cont'd) (to another assistant) Oh. My. God. Guess who's playing the Whisky next week? The Troggs! Lang ROLLS HIS EYES. DISSOLVE TO: SIX HOURS LATER Lang is the only person in the outer office except for a JANITOR vacuuming the carpet. Looking tired and frustrated, Lang kills time by perusing the contents of one of the manila envelopes. He GLANCES AT HIS WATCH. Just then, Suzie comes out of Dylan's office with some papers. LANG Hey, can you give me some idea of when I'm going to get to see Mr. Dylan? 'Cause I've been here all day and-- SUZIE Oh, didn't somebody tell you? Bob's gone. LANG What?! Lang darts past Suzie and THROWS OPEN the door to the inner office. It is indeed empty. (And there's a second exit.) 36. SUZIE Um, excuse me? That's a private-- LANG Shit!! Do you have any fucking idea how important this is?! If I don't see Bob Dylan by-- SUZIE Mister, I don't know who you think you are, but get off your ego trip, okay? You're just some weird old guy in a suit from the Air Force or something, and that is not Bob's bag. Last time I looked, he was against the war, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to talk to one of LBJ's buzz-cut baby-killers today. Or ever. Lang is so INSULTED and so ENRAGED by this that he doesn't even know where to begin. He just stands there, STUNNED. SUZIE (cont'd) Look, if you need to give him that envelope, just leave it with me, okay? Lang THINKS FOR A BEAT. Then he picks up his briefcase, fumbles around inside it for a moment, and HANDS HER THE ENVELOPE. LANG Here. Should be self-explanatory. Lang WALKS OUT the door, FROWNING. MATCH CUT TO: INT. RAND - MARTIN MARION'S OFFICE - THE NEXT DAY - NOON Lang WALKS IN the door, SMILING. He hands Marion a piece of paper. MARION Well... the Lollipop List. And five hours early, no less. LANG Actually, I finished last night. But then this morning, I overslept. So it evens out. MARION The carbons? 37. LANG Already on their way to Washington. So if the world ends this weekend, we can relax. Marion gets up to put the list in his wall safe. As he unlocks it, he SCANS THE NAMES. MARION Hmmm. Never heard of any of these people. Well, perhaps one... (places it inside) So, are you happy with your six choices? LANG Very. CUT TO: INT. BOB DYLAN'S OFFICE - THAT MOMENT From behind, we see BOB DYLAN sitting at his desk. He PICKS UP the manila envelope Lang left for him and SLICES IT OPEN with a letter-opener. It is EMPTY. He SHAKES IT, but there is absolutely nothing inside. BOB DYLAN What the hell...? CUT TO: INT. BEVERLY HILLBILLIES STAGE - THAT MOMENT Buddy Ebsen is sitting on his director's chair. The stagehand approaches with a manila envelope. STAGEHAND Courier brought this for you, Buddy. (beat) Brought 'em for the rest of the cast, too. He sets an envelope on EACH OF THE OTHER FIVE CHAIRS -- "IRENE RYAN - Granny", "MAX BAER - Jethro", "DONNA DOUGLAS - Elly May", "RAYMOND BAILEY - Mr. Drysdale" and "NANCY KULP - Miss Hathaway". Offscreen, we hear Buddy TEARING OPEN his envelope, and then... BUDDY EBSEN (O.S.) Wellll, doggies! FADE OUT. 38. THE END 39.