Six and a Half Hours in the Emergency Waiting Room:

A Case for God?

by
Rose F Hooer
!n the surface" it might offer a fitting image of #urgatory: a cro$ded hos#ital $aiting
room% #eo#le sic& or in #ain% a teleision #laying endless loo#s of Headline 'e$s( !r if you are
of a s&e#tical though reflectie bent" you might go a little dee#er and conclude that a situation
$here #eo#le are in distress" $here hel# is not soon forthcoming" $here some of the lies $ould
seem to gie little cause for ho#e een $ithout the com#lication of illness" #resents a conincing
case for unbelief" rather than a case for God(
Sister Eli)abeth" $ho is *+ years old" has suffered re#eated bouts of bronchitis" and this
Wednesday in ,ay" her coughing has bro&en t$o ribs( She is in misery $ith eery breath and in
excruciating #ain $ith eery moement( Since it is -:.. #(m( and her o$n doctor has left the
office" $e decide to go to the nearest emergency room( /uring #reious community crises $e
hae found the $ait short and the care excellent(
0his time" after signing in" $e are directed to the $aiting room" $hich turns out to be
almost full( We loo& around and find em#ty seats near the teleision set(
1Ho$ long hae you been here?2 $e as& a blond $oman in a $heelchair(
1About an hour(2
We groan in$ardly" and resign ourseles to missing su##er(
Children are #laying in the toy corner nearby" including a t$o3year3old $hose mother
brought him in after his feer s#i&ed to 4.+ degrees( He is energetic no$" but as the eening
$ears on" he isibly lags" and do)es in her arms( 0he blond $oman" forty3fie years old $e
learn" and missing seeral teeth in front" has recurring #roblems dating from a losing
confrontation $ith a truc& some years ago( She describes her condition gra#hically:
1Sometimes 5 $al& li&e an *.3year3old $oman $ith a corncob u# her ass(2
Hooer
What is more" she is off her medications for mental illness 6 715 can8t afford them29 6
and she is unable to sto# tal&ing(
15 left my husband because he $as drin&ing( We8re still married" but $e get along better
$hen $e don8t lie together(2
1:es" drin&ing can ma&e things im#ossible"2 5 say(
1!f course $e $ere both on crac&(2 After a brief #ause she adds" 1;ut 5 haen8t had any
since /ecember(2
1:ou hae to be careful"2 5 caution( 10hose drug dealers are mean(2 We &no$ this
because an ac<uaintance has had run3ins $ith them in her neighborhood( 5t is the only $ord of
$isdom 5 can come u# $ith(
1!h" you hae to find the right dealer(2
She tells us this as matter3of3factly as if she $ere recommending that $e sho# for
groceries at =ublix instead of at Winn3/ixie(
1We had the same dealer for 4> years( 5 felt better on drugs( 5 used them for medicinal
#ur#oses( 5 had less #ain(2 She ta&es a breath" then re#eats" 1;ut 5 haen8t had any since
/ecember(2
0he husband $ith $hom she can8t lie a##ears and sits do$n beside her( He ta&es her
hand and loo&s at her $ith great affection( After a little $hile he disa##ears" only to return an
hour or so later $ith her su##er(
We notice em#ty seats and decide to moe to$ard the bac& of the room" a$ay from the
teleision( A teenage cou#le comes in $ith an obiously ne$ baby( We ooh and ah and as& ho$
old the baby is(
1Fie days"2 $e are told(
0he baby is es#ecially tiny( She loo&s as if she could $eigh no more than fie #ounds( 5t
is the mother $ho is un$ell" something to do" she says" $ith nere damage from the e#idural( As
they settle in for the long haul" the #arents ga)e on their ne$ baby $ith $onder" but they do not
&no$ ho$ to hold her" and her nec& flo#s this $ay and that $hen they #ic& her u#( Sister
Eli)abeth is concerned(
158m going oer to tell them to su##ort the baby8s head(2
5" $ho am afraid she $ill be rebuffed" say only" 1/o $hat you hae to do(2
After a fe$ more minutes of $atching" Sister Eli)abeth declares" 15 hae to tell them(2
?
Hooer
She #ic&s u# her cane and struggles out of the chair" a #rocess that causes much #ain in
her ribs" and $al&s oer to them( She says <uietly that she is a retired nurse" and that #robably
no one has told them that they must al$ays su##ort the baby8s head( 0hey listen" nod" and than&
her( After that" the baby is loingly held $ith her head $ell su##orted(
Gradually a fe$ #eo#le are called and are seen no more" but more often ne$ su##licants
arrie( A middle3aged cou#le $ho loo& ali&e inform us that the $ife has bro&en her arm( A
$ell3dressed $oman comes in holding a #lastic bag filled $ith medications( An elderly husband
and $ife find seats in front of us( She is short and round% he is tall and angular( 0hey hae
matching afros( When he glances our $ay" Sister Eli)abeth nods to him" and he returns her nod
$ith a radiant smile( 0hey both hae bad colds( !thers in the room seem to &no$ them( Are
they neighbors" #erha#s" or fello$ church3members? !r hae they hae met during #reious
emergency room isits? 5t is eident that the emergency room is" for many here" their only
source of medical care(
We hae been $aiting no$ for about four hours( Eery so often the louds#ea&er calls
one or another of the #atients" but usually it is @ust to hae ital signs read" something that is
done eery cou#le of hours to ma&e sure" 5 su##ose" that one is in condition to continue the $ait(
,ean$hile" a camaraderie deelo#s among those $ho hae been languishing together( A young
cou#le sits do$n next to us( 0hey sho$ us the fierce3loo&ing nail or s#i&e the young $oman has
ste##ed on in their house( Although her foot is carefully $ra##ed" she needs not only
#rofessional care but also a tetanus shot( 'o$ and then someone goes outside to smo&e" a young
mother handing her child to someone else for the moment( Friends arrie $ith Sister Eli)abeth8s
medication" $hich she must hae if she is to #erseere( 0he grandmother of the t$o3year3old
brings su##er for his mother" and holds the do)ing child $hile the young $oman goes out for
another cigarette( An older man $ra##ed in a blan&et and $earing stained #a@ama bottoms
stands in the middle of the floor and smiles at eeryone(
0hen $e hear that the emergency room has been loc&ed do$n( Rumors fly( !ne rumor
has it that someone has been 1;a&er3Acted2 and has gone off the dee# end( 70he ;a&er Act is a
Florida statute that allo$s for inoluntary examination and treatment of a mentally ill #erson
deemed dangerous either to self or to others(9 We acce#t this ex#lanation and continue $aiting(
For no$ there is no ho#e of being treated( Sister Eli)abeth tells the young $oman $ho ste##ed
>
Hooer
on the nail that she must not leae" no matter ho$ long she has to $ait( She must absolutely get
the tetanus shot(
After some time" $e hear another rumor about the loc&do$n: someone has died and the
family is ery u#set( We ma&e a mental shift and acce#t this ex#lanation" but 5 am #u))led(
Surely #eo#le die rather fre<uently in the emergency room" and in the normal course of eents
families $ould indeed be u#set( Why $ould the emergency room need to be loc&ed do$n"
unless the distraught family member is brandishing a gun?
Finally the louds#ea&er oice announces that the loc&do$n is oer" and there is some
moement in and out(
0he $oman $ho is off her meds moes again to sit $ith us and continues tal&ing( 0his
time she is agitated( What has set her off is that she $ent outside for a smo&e" and $hile out of
earshot her name $as called for itals( 'o$" she laments" she has lost her #lace in the <ueue 6
at least to hae her itals ta&en( She re#eats some of the stories she has already told us" but this
time $ith a less #ositie slant( After a $hile" the tal&ing itself seems to calm her do$n(
When Sister Eli)abeth is called again for itals" she as&s ho$ much longer it might be
before she is seen( 0he nurse a##ears harried but a#ologetic( He says that it could still be hours"
as ambulances hae been coming in one after the other( We #rocess this information and decide
to leae( Een if Sister Eli)abeth has to sit u# all night because of the #ain" it seems #referable to
do it at home rather than in the emergency room( We hae been here for six and a half hours(
As $e are heading for the car" ho$eer" 5 reali)e that $e must not leae $ithout saying
goodbye to our com#anions in the $aiting room" so 5 return to the little community of sufferers(
10ell her 5 ho#e she feels better"2 says one(
1She8s left something under the chair"2 says another" and he reaches do$n to #ull u# a
bottle of Co&e" $hich is not hers after all(
A case for God?
Seeral days later" 5 raise my head from the ne$s#a#er and turn to Sister Eli)abeth" no$
on #ain medicine and reasonably comfortable" at least $hen she is sitting still(
15 can8t sto# thin&ing about the #eo#le in the emergency room(2
15 can8t either"2 she says(
A
Hooer
5t turns out that although $e hae both been #raying for them" neither of us is thin&ing
only of their needs( 0here $as something extraordinary" 5 say" in our afternoon and eening of
$aiting" discomfort" and frustration(
Sister Eli)abeth sto#s me: 15 neer felt frustrated(2
As 5 consider this" 5 reali)e that in fact no one there ex#ressed frustration or im#atience"
exce#t the blond $oman" briefly" $hen she found that she had not heard her name called( !n the
$hole" there $as a remar&able sense of #eace as more #eo#le arried" as the emergency room
$as loc&ed do$n" as the ambulances rolled in( And $hereas #ain often causes us to turn in on
ourseles" there $as only &indness in that little gathering(
For many #eo#le" the burden of #ain and sorro$ is #roof enough that there is no God(
Ho$ can God exist" if God is God 6 omni#otent" all3&no$ing" and all3loing 6 and still allo$
suffering? So $hy" on the contrary" did these long hours seem to attest not only to the reality of
God" but een more" to the diine beauty and goodness? Were $e merely heartless before the
$retchedness of others? :et Sister Eli)abeth $as herself in seere #ain(
According to Barl Rahner" 1We are $ithin the mystery #ast all gras#" $hich God is: there
the ans$er is hidden from us( And so" if $e acce#t this suffering in ho#e" it8s only the #articular
$ay in $hich $e acce#t God8s o$n self" God8s o$n eternal #ast3all3gras#ness(2
4
Sometimes"
$hether in #ain or sim#ly no longer able to maintain the illusion of control or com#rehension"
$e may feel ourseles engulfed" een at ris& of dro$ning in the mystery( :et through grace" $e
may be granted a small glim#se of the beauty of that 1#ast3all3gras#ness2 $hich turns out to be
life and breath to us( 0his may ha##en in the midst of a momentous" life3changing eent" or it
may sur#rise us in an encounter as ordinary as being stuc& in traffic or receiing the smile of a
stranger(
For the t$o of us that eening" it $as as if the emergency room had become $hat the
5rish call a 1thin #lace"2 $here the eil bet$een the human and the diine becomes translucent(
Each #erson $as #erceied as beloed of God( And to borro$ an ex#ression of Words$orth"
each of us $as trailing clouds of glory" $hether $heeling herself outside for a smo&e" sho$ing
concern for another" or hitching u# trousers or #a@ama bottoms to hae ital signs chec&ed once
again( 0he sacred had bro&en through $here it is al$ays found" if $e hae eyes to see: in the
muc& and muddle of eeryday life( 5n this instance" $ithout negating the #atent in@ustices in the
-
Hooer
medical system" the muddle itself became a $indo$ reealing the goodness and loeliness that
underlies and #ermeates all of creation(
Rahner adds that 1human beings are in fact inca#able of being $holly satisfied $ith $hat
they can gras# and see their $ay round" ho$eer fine and beautiful this might be( And if $e try
to reach beyond this" $e ineitably come u# against the mystery of God(C
?
'o" moments such as
our eening in the $aiting room are not #roof of God( 0hey are clues" ho$eer" to the reality of
something 7$hether or not $e name this something 1God29 both $ithin and beyond each #erson
and eent and $hich transcends $hat $e normally #erceie( What is more" they are a testimony
to the coniction that this mysterious Something or Someone is $hat gies eery life 6 een a
hard life 6 its meaning" its alue" and its beauty(
Co#yright Rose F( Hooer
fayleiDaol(com
+
4
C5s Christian Eife =ossible 0oday?C <uoted in Karl Rahner: Spiritual Writings, edited by =hili#
Endean 7,ary&noll: !rbis" ?..A9" ?..(
?
Ibid(