How to: Genres

or
Laserface is bored on the bus and starts writing some vaguely satirical stuff, inspired by Wikipedia,
after looking up a band and being inundated with half assed genre, it then having occurred to me
that this happens in all creative disciplines.
Creating a new genre and generating an accompanying scene does not reuire any ability or
inspiration! in fact the less you have the more likely you are to be hailed as a genius for re"ecting the
norms and trends of the present day #including talent, imagination and dedication$.
%he first step in creating a new genre is to come up with a name. %here are two approaches to this:
either take an e&isting genre and liberally affi& 'post(' or '(core' ad hoc, but this has been done to
most e&isting genres already. ) more fruitful approach is to start by choose a noun, preferably with
enough plausible interpretations to create infighting and schisms within your scene. Having settled
on a word, say '"elly', try mi&ing it with generic genre modifiers:
* "elly punk
* avant(guarde "elly
or adding ualifying nouns:
* power "elly
* modern "elly
or locations:
* east coast "elly
* left bank "elly
and of course the perennial affi&es:
* post("elly
* "ellycore
+ake sure you can convincingly say the name and some combinations in both a disparaging and an
authoritative voice. ,ou should also decide ahead of time on at least three genre name variants for
side pro"ects. -f the name is not powerful enough your scene will have less reserve cred(points to
trade
.
.
Having acuired a suitable name, it is essential that you give your new genre a historical grounding
before you actually write or perform anything. %his is best done by attributing your inspiration to
other people/s talents. 0irst pick any two similar artists that are generally known and recent but past
the peak of their popularity, this gives your scene a comfort 1one that everyone can be rela&ed
about. %hen pick one artist that is vaguely similar to the first two and generally considered rubbish,
so you can contrive vague arguments as to their unappreciated genius for cred points. 0inally pick
an artist who has been dead for fifty to a hundred years and who is largely unknown! the mystiue
created by name(dropping them and then e&plaining their vital but unknown contributions give you
large amounts of cred.
2ow you need to create your first work. 0irst works must be rough and unfinished. -f it is not then
your scene will lack the unshakable belief that the first work is a truly superior piece of art. %his
shared superiority comple& is what gives all groups cohesion and gives the cred of your scene its
reserve of cred. 2ever publici1e or otherwise attempt to capitali1e on your first works, doing so will
undermine the cred inherent in the work and thus your cred. 3nsure that people from similar scenes
get to see or hear your works on a personal basis: it is this personal contact with the original work
that makes them feel special, and that shared feeling makes them the kernel of your scene.
,our first work is also important for setting the tone of your genre. +ake sure there is at least one
definitive #but vaguely ridiculous$ element of the style. -f this element is common enough your
genre will likely be cast as a revival, in which case adding 'new(', 'nu(' or '4nd wave' to the
genre name is a good idea. -f the medium or method is uncommon or outlandish then it is best to
treat your genre as being e&perimental: but be careful, if you are going to make this choice you need
. 5cenes are like 6ole 7laying Games but they have 'cred' instead of mana and levels. Cred can be
traded for se& or adulation from other members within the scene.
to make sure you can pull this off, the materials you need must be available and the methods must
be humanly possible #1ero(g moon(rock sculpture is an e&ample of something that would not be
feasible$. 8ne specific note of importance to the tone is the inclusion of irony: any art depicting the
suffering of a poverty stricken ethnicity suffers with irony, while anything aimed at healthy,
youthful middle(class people and panders to their opinions of how to fi& the world must have at
least some irony.
8nce you have milked your first work for all it is worth, and a few others have tried the waters of
your new genre, you will need to attract people to the nascent scene. %o do this get together with
other adherents and talk about social networking and viral marketing: it is important to pretend you
know what you are talking about. )t this stage make all the collateral for upcoming events look as
amateurish as possible. )s more and more people attend events and flock to the scene you can start
charging for attendance under the guise of donations. +ake sure to use the word 'donation' because
the moment you use 'charge' you sell out. 0or some time prior to this sell out moment, use the
enforced donations to pay for freelance support to advertise activities of this scene to attract new
members #and thus reserve cred$ to your scene. However, once current devotees notice the
increasing uality of the advertising collateral they will become uncomfortable at the
commerciali1ation and it will be harder to gain cred. %his trade off of acuiring new members for
cred while gaining less from e&isting members is unavoidable.
9ut all is not lost, at this point it is prudent to e&ecute the scenesters coup(de(gras. Let one of the
members of the original kernel sell out before you. %urn this into a very public and very personal
argument #use dubious se&ual histories with other scene members if at all possible so that people
know you are serious$. )fter the public fracas has downgraded to a cold(war level of background
hostility, take one of the previous genre name variants from the your name(pool and use this to
christen a new sub(pro"ect.
5ub(pro"ects must be, necessarily, without any merit. Worthwhile side(pro"ects will generally cause
you to accidentally start an entirely new scene, in which you have near 1ero cred thus your effort
will be negated and you will have to start over. )fter ensuring that your side pro"ect is without merit
make sure that you inform a select few members of the original scene and discuss how you have
lost faith in the original themes of the scene. %his will undermine the solidarity based on the
superiority of the early works and shake the resolve of those you talk to. %his is a risky gambit, so
ensure that you talk to those people who are receptive enough to cling to your current cred and
attractive enough that you actually want them to be near you. Having e&ecuted no more than three
works on your side pro"ect, go back to the traditional scene, mentioning nothing of the previous
argument. 2ow that the scene is commercial it is not only lucrative, it can now afford to
commerciali1e its advertising activity, attracting many new members.
)t this point all original members of the scene are e&pected to treat the new members #'baby(
"ellies' or '"elly(lings'$ akin to gently retarded second cousins, unless they are particularly
attractive. 3nsure that you make factions out of the new devotees, loosely based along the lines of
the original schism. :se your standing as an older member and the naivety of the newcomers to
gain cred for your scene knowledge and many side pro"ects. )s the scene wanes and the influ& of
new members increases the value of the scene/s cred will be debased. 5ome small amount of cred
can still be gained from hanging out in highly visible but out(of(the(way bars and coffee shops
discussing the old days or having vitriolic flame wars in online forums
4
. ;uring these waning days
of your genre final act must be to make a conflated and self aggrandi1ing Wikipedia page dedicated
to yourself and the genre.
-f you structure the lifetime of your new genre/s scene you should be able to gain the ma&imum
amount of cred over the course of its life, and thus the se&ual favor and general adulation of the
scene/s members. Good luck scenesters<
%his work is licensed under a Creative Commons
)ttribution(2onCommercial(5hare)like =.> -nternational License.
4 e(cred, or online cred, has an e&change rate to real cred of .>,>>>:.. %his is why no(one ever gets
laid for winning an internet argument