Paper 1: Extended Writing Task - 30

minutes
The extended task gives you the opportunity to show your writing at its very best.
In the panel you can see just what the examiner will be looking for. Fortunately,
you have had plenty of practice in organising your writing into paragraphs, and in
using a wide variety of punctuation including the colon, semi-colon, dash,
brackets, ellipsis, etc. ou must show you can punctuation to organise, control
and present your writing to best effect.
!f course, that"s not enough. ou are expected to use appropriate varied sentence
structures, and, as you can see, to use a wide variety of ambitious vocabulary in
your response. !n the next pages, the criteria for #evel $ are listed, and these are
followed by several exemplars for your discussion, evaluation, and even
inspiration.
LEVEL 6 ENGLIS - W!ITING
To achieve this level, my written work must show that I can
regularly
- plan or outline what I intend to write before I begin the piece.
- provide an introduction that engages my readers right from the start.
- use paragraphs or other ways to organise and present my writing
effectively.
- provide a conclusion that leaves my readers feeling satisfied.
- employ a variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex
sentences, and a range of subordinate clauses.
- use a wide variety of punctuation, including the comma , - the colon :
the semi-colon ; - brackets ( ) - ellipsis - and the hyphen forget-
me-not blue eyes and the dash Id like you to - oh, never mind.
- use a style and vocabulary re%uired by the different genres, including
narrative fiction, information, explanation, persuasion, instruction,
biography, giving a talk, etc.
- employ a variety of sentence openers & 'owever, (evertheless, )ventually,
Fortunately, In other words, In addition, In conclusion, *s a result,
- use "gures #$ spee%& such as simi'e, metap&#r,
pers#ni"%ati#n, a''iterati#n, and #n#mat#p#eia.
- spe'' most familiar words correctly, and make reasonable
attempts at spelling less familiar words.
- demonstrate my (#%a)u'ar* is de(e'#ping to include more
sophisticated and adventuresome was of expressing myself
in my written work.
- demonstrate I am de(e'#ping m* #+n indi(idua' st*'e,
and that I am becoming a competent, convincing, engaging
writer
Word of warning!
It is highly unlikely you will be invited to write a piece of narrative
fction; in other words, nobody is going to ask you to tell a story!.
"o in these pages you will fnd #mostly$ examples of non%fction
genres, which, luckily enough, can be as en&oyable to read and
write as non%fction.
Topic - Should pupils be allowed to stay inside the school building
eeen when the weathee is inee
*lthough I am a pupil myself, I am going to argue that pupils should not be
allowed to remain indoors when the weather is fine.
Firstly, children & and that"s what pupils are & need to be supervised at all times,
particularly in junior schools where teachers are said to be +in loco parentis" ,in the
place of parents-. .an you imagine how outraged parents would be if their child
was injured while tearing around unsupervised inside the school building during
playtime/ Telling the parents that"s what they asked for wouldn"t get teachers off
the hook.
'ave the teachers on duty every day, I hear you say. 0ut that raises many
%uestions & and none them rhetorical1 *re teachers not hard-working enough
already/ 2o they not deserve a break, too/ I know that in my school most of the
teachers live for the break, for their cup of coffee and digestive biscuit3 they tell us
that often enough. 4ome pupils find it hard to believe that teachers are human, too.
I should know because I"m the daughter of a pair of them, and they are usually are
more stressed than I at the end of the day.
#et"s also take a moment to look at children"s brains. It"s a scientific fact, as
genuine as the 'iggs 0oson, that fresh air is needed to help the brain function at its
optimum. In a recent study, !xford 5niversity found that children"s concentration
tripled once they had been outside. If children were allowed to stay cooped up
inside all day, their concentration would suffer. In fact, it would be a good idea to
make all the children run at least 6 times around the playground ,I would have to
be excused because of my asthma-.
In conclusion, there is a list of reasons I could give for making sure children take
advantage of fine weather, and I would most certainly introduce the list with a
colon if I had time to present one. 'owever, the bell will ring in five minutes to
end the break, so I"d better pop out for a little fresh air before popping back to
complete my thoughts on this absorbing topic.
Topic - Imagine you aee an 11-yeae-old giel who has just staeted secondaey
2ear )ditor
7y name is 4arah Ferguson. I am eleven years old and I have just begun
secondary school at 7organ *cademy. It"s a very good school and I am delighted I
managed to get a place here. 'owever, I have a problem and it"s a big one.
To get straight to the point8 this is the 9:
st
century but girls are not permitted to
play in mixed teams at secondary schools. I played in my junior school team for
three years. In fact, last year I was captain and we didn"t lose a single game. I"m
not being big-headed. *ll I am saying is that in junior school if you"re good
enough you get in the team whether you are a boy or a girl. ;e even had some
boys in our netball teams and they played very well & for boys.
7r. 4tuart 7ills, 'eadteacher at 7organ, explained8 <;e don"t let the girls and
boys play in mixed teams because the boys have such a physical advantage that
girls might get injured.= That may be true when the boys are :> or :$, but it"s not
really true at my age. 7ost of us girls can tackle as hard as the boys, and some of
us can tackle a lot harder. *nd what is a referee for/ 'is job is to protect all of the
players on the pitch and make sure everyone gets a chance to play fairly.
I wrote to the F.*. ,Football *ssociation-. I received a +nice" letter, which said8 +;e
don?t allow mixed competitive football at secondary school age because we want to
encourage the growth of girls-only football teams, and you don?t do this by
allowing girls to play in boys? teams." The letter was signed by a man, of course.
Thank you for allowing me to express my opinion in your newspaper. I hope I can
find a good mixed team in (ewton who"ll let me play for them. If I can"t, I"ll play
for a girls" team because the most important thing for me is to play football1
Topic - Zoos eisons oe Sanctuaeiese
In an ideal world there would be no need for @oos. ;ild animals would be born
free and they would live their lives in the freedom of their natural environment.
5nfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world so there may still be a place for
@oos. The %uestion seems to be this8 Is a @oo a prison or a sanctuary/
7any people believe that depriving wild animals of their natural freedom is cruel.
They see @oos as prisons where animal suffer from stress, frustration and boredom.
!ther people argue, however, that wild animals are not free, even in their natural
environment. They live in defined areas, where they face constant danger from
hostile neighbours and humans. Far from restricting freedom, @oos provide
sanctuaries in which animals can live and breed in peace.
2o animals themselves feel like prisoners or is this just a human idea/ ou could
argue they are more like tenants or even owners of the space they occupy in a @oo.
*fter all, if you wander into a lion"s cage by mistake, it won"t be long before the
lion reminds you it is his territory and not yours.
!f course there are still some small @oos where animals are not treated as well as
they should be. 'owever, it"s fair to say that in larger @oos every effort is made to
meet the animals" needs3 they enjoy a regular, well-balanced diet, constant shelter
and are safe from predators who prey on them in the natural environment.

Aoos and safari parks are sometimes accused of using animals for amusement and
for profit, but such places @oos provide much more than entertainment. They offer
a uni%ue opportunity to learn about wildlife and visitors can study animals at closer
range. !pponents, however, %uestion the educational values of @oos, where
animals are seen as dependant on humans.
The modern @oo has an important role to play in protecting endangered species.
*nimals in danger of extinction in their natural habitats can breed safely in
captivity, and be released back into the wild. It is sad but true that in the future the
only place where we will be able to see some of these endangered species is in a
@oo, and we will have to decide whether that is better than nothing,
Topic - Imagine you aee a !eae " teachee in youe school# !ou haee been
haee a eegulae supply o eee
The purpose of this report is to discuss a proposal which has recently been made by
ear $ teachers to the 'eadteacher of ;hitstable Bunior 4chool, re%uesting that
free supplies of chocolate be made readily available to all teaching staff when
teaching. *ll teaching and support staff are in absolute agreement that this would
bring many positive benefits to the school, and, on their behalf, I will describe
these benefits here.
Firstly, we are completely convinced that a free supply of chocolate would increase
the number of happy faces around the staff room and throughout school. *t least
CDE of teaching staff enjoy eating a variety of chocolate on a regular basis. If they
were to be given this free, not only would it save them money but it would also
save them going out to the shops to buy the aforementioned chocolate. These two
reasons, added to the delight teachers have when actually eating chocolate, would
most definitely make teachers happier and more relaxed.
ou may be aware that chocolate increases the so-called +happy" chemicals in the
female brain ,it"s hot curry for men- make humans relaxed and cheerful. Bust think
of teachers as they sit struggling over yet another heap of morning8 a %uick nibble
at the fruit and nut, and they are back to the marking as refreshed and energetic as
when they started & green pens flashing across the page like skiers down a piste1
Fupils, too, would find their teachers far more relaxed. *t the first signs of stress,
they could yell, <'ave a nibble, 7iss1= * few moments later, chocolate gobbled
and chin wiped, their teacher is beaming happily at them, and they ,the pupils- are
back at whatever they were up to before the emergency. es1 Free chocolate for
teachers means winners all round1
In conclusion, we would ask you, the school governors, to take this proposal as
seriously as we are making it. *nd & before you take a vote & share a bar or two of
.adbury"s finest. If that doesn"t convince you, nothing will.
Topic - Imagine you weee ineoleed in an accident# $oetunately no one was
Last Saturday morning, around 11 oclock, my family and I were
driving along the Dover Road to pick up some last-minute
hristmas presents! "he weather was appalling; #ridays snow
had settled and hardened, leaving icy patches on the road! Snow
had started falling again, and we were en$oying the e%ects of the
hristmas lights through the snow&akes!
Snow started to fall more heavily, turning everything into a
hristmas card though I dont think it helped Dads driving! "hat
might partly e'plain why he didnt notice the lights turning to
red $ust as we hit a particularly icy patch!
(Im losing control)* shouted Dad, as the car slid forward
and smashed into the car in front of us! +lthough the incident
only took a few seconds, it seemed to last forever! ,y life &ashed
-efore my eyes!
"he force of the impact pushed the car in front right into
the path of an on-coming lorry! "hank .od, the lorry driver was
paying more attention than my Dad! /e was a-le to swing out of
the way 0 straight through a garden wall and into a hristmas
tree) 1% the -onnet -ounced a variety of items: gnomes, elves,
silver -ells, fairy lights, and, 2nally, "inker-ell herself!
+lthough no one was physically hurt, everyone involved was
-adly shaken! It may sound disloyal to say this, -ut I think my
Dad was to -lame! If he hadnt -een singing 34hite hristmas
and admiring the snow, I dont think he would have missed the
lights turning red! ,ind you, if the council had gritted the road
on #riday night, perhaps the icy patchy would not have -een
there in the 2rst place!
:. ;ould you be able to summarise clearly what happened from 4am"s account/
9. 2oes the opening paragraph introduce the account effectively/
6. .omment on the variety of openings to the paragraphs/
G. Find examples of the variety of sentence structures8 simple, compound, complex
sentences3 subordinate clauses.
>. Find examples of effective vocabulary, including phrases & not just single words.
$. ;hat is the effective of the direct speech in the third paragraph/
H. Find the metaphor in the account/
I. .omment on the use of +advanced" punctuation.
C. 2oes 4am"s account have a satisfactory conclusion.
:D. Jrade this account from : & > ,top grade-.
Topic - Should mobile phones be allowed in schoolse
'id you know that over ()* of young people between the ages of
+) and +, now own their own mobile phone- In fact, young
teenagers are treated as a bit odd if they don!t have their own
mobile phone . and the more expensive the better. /he mobile
phone has taken the place of trainers as a status symbol for
teenagers. /his raises a 0uestion1 should pupils be allowed to
have their mobile phones in school-
/here are, of course, positive benefts in allowing and even
encouraging young people to communicate freely with each
other, and using a mobile phone to test or chat to their friends is
simply another way of doing this. 2ot only that but mobile phones
can be used as a way of teaching and learning; modern mobiles
often have the same capabilities as a laptop or a 34. 5owever, we
must keep in mind the dangers of unfltered access to the
Internet.
6any parents, too, are in favour of their children having access to
their mobile phone in school. /hey are reassured to know their
child can be easily contacted throughout the day, especially when
they are walking to and from school. 7n the other hand, schools
point out that carrying a mobile phone could in itself make a child
more vulnerable to theft or mugging, both on the street and even
in the playground. 3olice fgures confrm that a high proportion of
crimes committed against young people involve thefts of mobile
phones.
"chools are also concerned that having mobile phones can a
competitive atmosphere amongst children and result in some
children feeling left out and unvalued. In addition they claim
pupils! education may be a8ected by their wanting to text and
even chat in class, or by their living for the moment when they
can get out of class and onto their phones.
"ome doctors fear that children using mobiles could su8er from
addiction and long%term brain damage by too much use of their
phones. 3erhaps it!s best that schools protect children from this
and other problems by making them leave their mobile phones at
home.
Topic - %ecently laege amounts o littee haee appeaeed aeound the outside
o youe school# &eite a lettee to youe local council as'ing that something be
2ear 7r. 0lake,
I thought I"d writeKI am writing to complain about the litter that has been lying around
;hitstable #ibrary almost every morning recently. I am a pupil at ;hitstable Bunior 4chool, and
during the last two weeks I"ve noticed loads of rubbishKa great deal of litter near the main gate of
our school.
I reckonKIt is my opinion that this litter is a health ha@ard. For example, yesterday morning a ear
G boy slipped on a banana skin, fell over and cut his hand on some broken glass. The boy I"m
talking aboutKThe boy in %uestion needed four stitches. *nother timeK!n another occasion, a
parent"s dog almost choked on a half-eaten packet of crisps and had to be resuscitated.
I believeK* pound to a penny there are a loadKa numberKseveral things your department could do
to fixKrectify this problem. To start withKFirstly, make sureKensure the litter bins around the
#ibrary are emptied on a regular basis. (extK4econdly, perhapsKmaybe, you could buyKpurchase
and install moreKadditional bins. This would encourage people not to dumpKdiscard their litter
willy-nillyKcarelessly.
To finishKIn conclusion, I hope you will take my concerns seriously and I look forward to your
replyKyou writing back to me %uicklyKas soon as possible.
.heerio for now K ours sincerely
Bames 7urray
T#pi%s
1! 5our headteacher has decided to reduce the lunch hour to
half an hour!
6! 5our holiday company has changed your holiday from two
weeks in the south of #rance to a week in Scotland where
you will -e in a caravan rather than a holiday hotel!
7! 5our neigh-our has $ust got a dog that -arks most of the
night! 5ou have -een una-le to get a good nights sleep for a
month! 5ouve asked nicely -ut youve $ust -een ignored!
8! "he -us company has changed the -us timeta-le! "his
means you now get to school a-out an hour too early or an
hour too late!
9! 5our parents:carers have decided to reduce your pocket
money -y 9;<!
Topic - (dam)s oldee sistee has let home to go to college# (dam has
has
+dam stood in his -edroom and looked out of the window! /e
looked at the gasworks and sighed, (If only this room was on the
other side of the house, I=d have a view of the woods!* #or a
moment he wondered if his dad might>> ?o way!
/e ran his 2ngers down the wallpaper@ pastel -lue, &ecked
with tiny pink roses! 5uk) "he room had -een his sister=s! "ina
had gone to college! It was his room now! /ow could he -ring his
friends into a world of pastel -lue and tiny pink rosesA /e sat
down at the dressing ta-le!
"he dressing ta-le) /ow could he do his homework on thisA
/e must have a desk! /e would demand a desk! It was for
educational stu% so he was entitled to a desk 0 and a laptop!
+ laptop) "he laptop he=d -een promised for his -irthday! /e
didn=t want it in the living room@ he wanted it in here! But where
to put itA "hat was the Cuestion! "o put it whereA
+dam dived from the chair and rug-y-tackled his Spiderman
-ean -ag, hitting it with all the force at his command! +t least
the carpet had a thick pile like a lawn -adly in need of 3short
-ack and sides! /e could wrestle his -est mate Dosh into
su-mission on this! /e lay on his -ack and gaEed at the ceiling!
1h, no) /arry Styles was grinning right -ack at him! "hat
poster would have to go! 4hat if his friends thought it was hisA
+dam=s face was on 2re and his hair stood on end! ?o, it was
Dordan FGatie HriceI or nothing!
+ plan)
"hat=s what he neededJ a plan) /e would sketch a plan of
how his -edroom had to -e and present it to his dad! "hey would
discuss it ,an to ,an! /is father Fa deputy headteacherI would
understand! +nd it would -e for 3educational purposes=! In his
father=s world, educational =purposes= $usti2ed everything)
(?ow, I wonder where Ill keep #reddyA* +dam asked
himself!
#reddy 0 as you might have guessed 0 is +dams pet iguana!
*iscuss the e+tent to which this account meets the ceiteeia oe a top geade
9'96 92' :;:
Buckets of rain fell out of the sky! "he
motor cycle lamp poked a thin 2nger of
light through the dark as the machine
hummed to itself along the highway! (I
must -e craEy to -e out on a
/alloween like this,* thought +dam to
himself!
Suddenly the -eam of the headlight
picked out a 2gure standing at the
edge of the road! It was a girl, a-out his age, and she was as
soaked as a cat thats fallen into a river! "he motor -ike sighed as
it slowed to a halt!
(4anna a liftA* cried +dam through the rain! /e was startled to
see the girl was wearing what looked like a white wedding dress!
+dam got o% his -ike, took o% his -lack leather $acket and
wrapped it round her shoulders! "he girl said nothing -ut
clim-ed on -ehind +dam! She slid her arms round him like a
friendly -oa constrictor and held on tightly!
+long they sped through the night! "he trees on either side of the
road -ent their -ranches to wave them on their way! "he little
-ike was a ship tossed on a stormy ocean!
Suddenly +dam felt a sharp tug to the left! It was the girl! 4hat
was she doingA) "he motor -ike swung to the left $ust in time to
take a sharp curve across a little white -ridge that appeared out
of the rain! +dam was shaken! /e realised if the girl hadnt
pulled him, he would have hit the wall and gone over into the
rushing river!
+ few minutes later, he saw the lights of an all-night cafK! Its
lights twinkled a welcome! +dam pulled in and got the shock of
his life! "he girl was gone) /e ran into the cafK! (/elp, help,* he
called to the old man -ehind the counter! ("heres -een an
accident! I picked up a girl, dressed in white, wandering in the
rain! She - I guess she fell o%! I didn=t notice>*
"he old man turned, picked up a pot and poured a mug of co%ee!
(5ou didn=t pick up no girl, son,* he said! +dam stared at him!
(5es, I did) She=s -ack there) 5ou=ve got to get a car 0 I can=t
-ring her in! I=m riding a motor-cycle)*
(5ou didn=t pick up no girl, son,* repeated the old man,
scratching his -irds nest of a -eard!
+dam groaned! /e ran out and kicked the cycle into a lions roar
and tore -ack along the highway! /e stared at the road, dreading
what he might see! "hen with a shock he realised he had passed
the little white -ridge! /e went a short way and stopped! /e did
not know what to do!
Lights came along -ehind him! + pick-up truck stopped! It was
the old fellow from the cafK! /e leaned out of the window! (See,
you didn=t pick up no girl,* he said, then added, #ollow me, son!*
+dam shook his head in dis-elief -ut followed him on the -ike!
"hey drove along for a-out 2ve minutes! "hey turned o% the
highway, then followed a road that slithered
along till it reached a small churchyard!
"he old man got out of his pick-up! +dam
got o% his -ike and followed him! "he old
man stopped in front of a mar-le and
headstone and pointed a -ony 2nger! "he
rain stopped! "he ,oon peeped out from
-ehind the ragged clouds! +dam stooped
and read from the headstoneJ
+nd there, lying on the grass in front of the headstone was >!!
+dams -lack leather $acket!
+ % 9nswer your teacher!s 0uestions about the story to show you have
understood it.
< % /his story is full of fgures of speech, especially similes, metaphors and
personifcation. =o through the story and see how many you can pick
out.
> . TE ST-!. -/ EVE 0--!E
Imagine you were once :ve 6oore. /ell the story of what
happened to you and how you came to wander the highway. /ry
to be as imaginative and interesting as you can. 3ay attention to
your spelling, punctuation and paragraphs.