VOLUME THREE

I S S U E 41
10. 09.14

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4- B Shenani gans | Can Ban Updat e | The Dr es s L ady | F un wi t h Ebol a
PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE
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2 AD SALES 830.358.2493
table of contents
8
Citizen
Soundcheck
The ONLY gui de of i t s ki nd
for t he NB/SM Met ropl ex!
4
Due Process
A bi t of act i on i n t he
Can-Ban appeal .
15
12
14
Line Crushers
Our NFL handi cappi ng
cont est i s back for 2014!
1st Word
Bob Gray's argument s
become i ncreasi ngl y
l ess val i d.
3
Feature Story
May's goi ng t o dress
you up sehr gut .
6
Last Word
Red, hot Ebol a.
Get i t whi l e i t 's fresh.
11
Sports
FORE!
Sound Out of Town
Because Aust i n, San Marcos and
San Ant oni o occasi onal l y have
l i ve musi c t oo.
10
The County s
Most Wanted
Look Mommy!
Daddys i n t he paper!
Ask a Mexican
Gust avo of fends i n
t wo l anguages.
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San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
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B A R & G R I L L
2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 3
We Clarify Because
We Care
and to Rub it In
Meek, Miller, and
the GNBCC
Last week, we referred to
4-B uber-consultant Michael
Meek as the President and founder
of The Greater New Braunfels Chamber
of Commerce. A few of you wondered
how he could be considered a founder,
as the Chamber bills itself as being in
business since 1919. Granted, Meek
doesnt seem to age, but he is probably
not a Highlander, which means that there is
another explanation for our assertion.
See, back in December of 1997,
Meek and former-Mayor-of-New-Braunfels-
and-now-State-Representative Doug Miller
incorporated the Chamber. Up until then, the
local chamber was a, lets say looser, non-
incorporated organization. That association
was dissolved and the new legal entity took
its place. Keep in mind that a chamber of
commerce is a private club, and any number
of them can exist in any given area. But just
like the aforementioned Highlander, there
can be only one Greater New Braunfels
Chamber of Commerce. Youll have to
call yours The Hill Country Chamber of
Commerce or some such thing. You might
even get away with The New Braunfels
Chamber of Commerce, but Id expect a
fght over that one.
In any case, Meek and Miller founded the
new Chamber to take the place of the old one.
As far as were concerned, the Chamber put
its legal stakes down in 97 and ought to drop
that whole 1919 thing. But thats just us.
One more thing: As were fond of pointing
out, the job of a chamber of commerce is to
lobby government on behalf of business. As
is plain to see, an organization cannot carry
out that duty while on a government payroll,
which the GNBCC is - to the tune of over
$400,000 per year. What we didnt know,
is that the Chamber has language in their
Articles of Incorporation stating that obligation
outright: representing them (business people)
in city, county, state and national
legislative and political affairs;
But hey, lets not quibble over
$400,000 payouts that
allow the City to make local
businesses its whipping boy.
Its just how we do things in this,
Texas Most Corrupt City.
Bob Gray
Also last week, we took 4-B President Bob
Gray to task for stating that it would be
against the law for 4-B to use its funds for road
repair or drainage. We then listed several
road/drainage projects that 4-B had already
participated in. If you didnt read that piece,
you can check it out at txcitizen.com. Youll be
pleased you did.
We decided it might be fun to see what
other kinds of activities other 4-Bs engage
in that Bob might fnd illegal, or at the very
least distasteful, given our 4-Bs insistence
that its primary function is to serve as a
corporate welfare channel and make-work
program for various Chamber of Commerce
employees. We looked up a few other cities
to see what they were up to. New Braunfels
has a population of about 63,000 souls, so
we restricted our research to communities
of similar size. All population numbers are
approximate. We begin our tour with the
delightful town of Cedar Park.
Continued on page 5.
MIKE
REYNOLDS
WITH
WORD
1
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4-B President, Bob Gray.
4 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Continued from page 3.
Cedar Park, TX - Population: 61,000
Cedar Park lists 14 types of projects eligible for
4-B cash. Well just go ahead and let Number
One on their list speak for itself: Streets, roads,
drainage and other related transportation
system improvements. Oh dear. They are
going to be in some serious trouble once Bob
Gray fnds out about that.
To add insult to, well, insult, Cedar Park
went ahead and used 4-B cash to offset
over a half-million dollars in bond money to
buy land and design a much needed road.
That was 2013.

Galveston, TX - Population: 49,000
Way back in March of this year, the Galveston
4-B threw down a quarter-million bucks for,
according to the verbiage in its contract
with the Oleander City, The paving of the
road/street known as the Galveston seawall
including related drainage improvements.
WHAT? Road work AND drainage? A two-fer!
Thats a double crime, if you ask Bob Gray
- but dont ask Bob Gray. Hes got enough
problems right now.
Longview, TX - Population: 81,000
Last year, Longviews 4-B put $600,000
toward a road extension. As 4-B Boards
so often do.
And the list goes on. Sugar Land dropped
over $3 million on capital improvement
projects, including four, count em FOUR new
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TEXT TXC
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Me s s a g e & Da t a Ra t e s Ma y Ap p l y
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Can-Ban Update
An 1894 Texas Supreme Court decision acts
as the linchpin in a response to the City of
New Braunfels appeal of a judges decision
that struck down two City ordinances.
In April, the City appealed visiting
Judge Don Burgess ruling that its disposable
container and cooler ordinances were illegal.
The various river outftters who won the suit
fled their response to the Citys appeal brief
before the states Third Court of Appeals.
Burgess ruled that the Citys ordinances were
arbitrary, unreasonable, and a clear abuse of
municipal authority, in that, the ordinances have
no substantial relationship to the public health,
safety, morals, or general welfare. Burgess also
ruled that the ordinances were preempted by
state law and illegally vague.
The City appealed, arguing, in part, that as
a home rule city, they have a right to protect the
waterways from litter. The City also argued that
the outftters were not specifcally targeted by
the ordinances and, so, they had no real vested
interest to bring suit. Moreover, the City argued
that the ordinances were penal in nature, thus a
civil court had no jurisdictional standing.
Austin attorney Jim Ewbank, who
represents the river outftters, cited Austin v.
Austin City Cemetery Association, an 1894
Texas Supreme Court ruling that has acted
as the guidepost for past court decisions in
conficts between government and business.
Ewbank argues that the ruling says the City
civil court does, indeed, have jurisdiction.
Long ago, the highest court of this state found
that despite the general prohibition against civil
courts enjoining criminal prosecutions, equitable
relief is available to prevent the destruction or
deterioration of the value of property, Ewbank
and the outftters argue. Implicit in that ruling
was the fnding that the destruction of the value
of property for the purpose for which it was
acquired constitutes a legally cognizable harm
to a vested property right.
The river outftters argue that the ordinances
drove away tourists. And, since the outftters,
by their very location and characteristics
of the property on which they sit and are
dependent on the unique characteristics of the
property due to its proximity to the river, the
ordinances violate the precedent set down in
the Austin Cemetery Association ruling.
The damage to Plaintiffs is thus two-
pronged: (1) the inability of Plaintiffs to sell
inventory; and (2) the loss of a customer base
that diminishes their ability to sell or rent those
items that are not otherwise restricted by the
ordinance, the brief argues.
More chilling, the outftters say, is that
the ordinances damaged their businesses
because any visitor to their shops risked
criminal prosecution, again violating the
Austin Cemetery ruling. Thus, they argue, the
businesses are entitled to civil relief because
they were at risk of losing customers who
feared prosecution.
Important to the fnding is the Courts
recognition that, if a businesss right to test the
constitutionality of the statute was dependent on
the willingness of the customer to face criminal
prosecution, the business had no adequate
remedy at law in the criminal courts and was
entitled to equitable relief, the brief reads.
Thus, the outftters argue, without redress
in civil court, the businesses would be
unable to question the constitutionality of the
ordinances unless a customer is prosecuted.
That, they argue, is an unfair burden and one
that previous courts ruled is unnecessary.
The outftters also take on the Citys argument
that the ordinances were created to fght litter.
Instead of criminalizing littering with
disposable containers, which is already
prohibited by the Texas Litter Abatement Act
and another City of New Braunfels ordinance,
the City has criminalized the mere possession of
food and beverages in disposable containers,
the brief states. In reality, the City is prohibiting
food and beverages, rather than litter. Taking
the statute on its face, a person can legally
bring several garbage bags full of empty beer
cans, plastic bottles, and paper trash into the
river, but if one bottle has an ounce, or less, of
water, that person commits a crime.
As to the cooler ordinance, the outftters
argue that a tuber could litter with any size
cooler, stating that a person with a 48-quart
cooler may not litter at all, while someone
with a 16-quart cooler may dump all of his
trash in the river.
Like the City, the outftters have also
asked that the Third Court of Appeals allow
for oral arguments. The court should decide
whether it will allow for such arguments within
the next few weeks.
Nick Rogers covers courts and crime for the TX Citizen.
Due Process
WITH NICK ROGERS
4 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 5
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Continued from page 3.
Cedar Park, TX - Population: 61,000
Cedar Park lists 14 types of projects eligible for
4-B cash. Well just go ahead and let Number
One on their list speak for itself: Streets, roads,
drainage and other related transportation
system improvements. Oh dear. They are
going to be in some serious trouble once Bob
Gray fnds out about that.
To add insult to, well, insult, Cedar Park
went ahead and used 4-B cash to offset
over a half-million dollars in bond money to
buy land and design a much needed road.
That was 2013.

Galveston, TX - Population: 49,000
Way back in March of this year, the Galveston
4-B threw down a quarter-million bucks for,
according to the verbiage in its contract
with the Oleander City, The paving of the
road/street known as the Galveston seawall
including related drainage improvements.
WHAT? Road work AND drainage? A two-fer!
Thats a double crime, if you ask Bob Gray
- but dont ask Bob Gray. Hes got enough
problems right now.
Longview, TX - Population: 81,000
Last year, Longviews 4-B put $600,000
toward a road extension. As 4-B Boards
so often do.
And the list goes on. Sugar Land dropped
over $3 million on capital improvement
projects, including four, count em FOUR new
parks last year, and less than $700,000 on
corporate welfare. Midland uses 100% of its
4-B money on a big ol sports complex and
other capital improvement projects. We are,
indeed, frst class suckers.
Last week, we explained that what Bob
Gray probably meant when he said We
cant, by law, go out and work on streets
and drainage. Thats not allowed within State
Law, was We cant just go willy-nilly fxing
roads or drainage. Wed need to come up
with an excuse frst.
In hindsight, we think perhaps that was
too generous an interpretation. As it becomes
more and more clear that roads and drainage
are, in fact, perfectly legal places to spend 4-B
money as long as the paperwork is in order, its
also becoming clear that when Bob Gray says
We cant, by law, go out and work on streets
and drainage. Thats not allowed within State
Law, what he really means is Stop asking me
about roads and drainage. I mean it.
Apparently, 4-B President Bob Gray isnt
getting good advice from the guy paid extremely
well to act as his consultant. If we were Bob,
wed go Shark Week on said consultant for
allowing or encouraging us to use a now-
exposed PR tactic based on false information.
But we value our dignity, so, you know.
Were certain that the $12 million 4-B
is sitting on for corporate handouts, the
$400,000+ per year they pay to the Greater
New Braunfels Chamber of Commerce, the
fve fgures it pays to the Chambers President
to advise 4-B, and the fact that Gray stands
there with a straight face and insists its illegal
for 4-B to work on roads and drainage is
nothing to worry about. At all.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
OMA GRUENES
M
USIC & W
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830.625.1045
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BARE FAx
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LINEUP
Custom-made
Wurstfest Dresses!
Adul t & chi l dren si zes
Call May at
830.608.1215
Galveston, prior to its 4-B improvements.
6 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 7
If youve ever been to Wurstfest, then you
have seen many a frau and fraulein dressed
in traditional German dresses. Chances are
those many of those women and girls are
wearing a May Koenig.
For more than 20 years, May has been
hand-sewing dirndls for those ladies who want
to sport German tradition at New Braunfels
marquee German fair.
The traditional dirndl is made up of a
skirt, bodice and blouse, all brought together
with an apron. The dress is entirely funwear,
more for show than function.
I draw all my own patterns for my dresses
and do my own designing, the 85-year-old
May said. You have a choice of a longer
or shorter skirt, and longer sleeves or shorter
sleeves. My customers can choose their own
color and we can put together a headpiece to
match the color of the dress.
To say that Mays dresses are good would
be like calling Mozart a decent composer. Her
work is excellent, which is borne out by the
number of people who seek her out for one
of her dirndls. The colors are sublime, never
boring and always lovely. Her dresses always
ft her customers to absolute perfection.
Born in Marion in 1929, at the start of the
Great Depression, May came into this world
in hard times.
My parents had to sell a load of corn just
to buy me a case of milk, she said. We lived
on a farm, had no running water, no phone,
no electricity, but we made it.
She got an early start on sewing by doing
the embroidery for her hope chest, which was
a collection of fabric that girls would collect for
when they got married. But her real lesson in
sewing didnt come until she and her husband
moved from Marion.
In 1955, my husband and I built a house
in New Braunfels, she said. I was tired of
picking cotton, so I got a job sewing little
girls dresses on an electric sewing machine.
I was used to sewing cotton sacks on a pedal
machine, so it was hard to learn.
One day, my boss told me, either you
learn or I will fre you. I learned pretty fast.
After that, I got a job at Comet Hosiery Mills,
where I worked for about 20 years before
they closed down.
However, it wasnt until she worked at
a restaurant, strangely, that May sewed her
frst dirndl.
I went to work at Bavarian Village,
which was a German restaurant, where I
made $2 an hour, May said. One day,
the owner asked if I could make German
dresses for her waitresses. I didnt know
what a German dress looked like, so she
gave me a picture. I made them for her and
have since worked those designs into my
own German dresses.
After the restaurant closed, May had a
couple of more jobs before retiring at aged
62. But because of her ability to build a
beautiful dirndl, her retirement certainly has
never been an idle one.
People kept bugging me to make
German dresses for them. I didnt want to sew
for the public, she said. But, you know how
it works, my name got around. So, now I am
doing custom sewing from home.
If you visit May for a dress, she will call
the shots and dress you up nice.
People come see me, I size them,
then I tell them what they need to buy, she
said. Then they go do their own shopping,
choose their own colors and bring me the
material, and I make them a dress. It works
out wonderfully.
One thing that has surprised her, recently,
is the number of fathers coming to visit her for
dresses for the mens daughters.
The master seamstress will make the
dresses for all sizes, from little girls to women.
She has also made dresses for dolls, but she
doesnt think she will have time for that this
year. She will also make shirts for men to wear
with their lederhosen. Over the years, she has
helped create the look for many traditional
German oompa bands.
The work not only keeps May busy, but
happy as well. Anyone who enters Mays
home leaves with a new best friend.
I love to create, I love meeting with the
people, I love seeing these little girls walking
out of here in their little dresses, she said.
Like for many who grew up on a farm,
there was always a lot of work to be done.
But her parents found time to introduce May to
another one of her great loves: dancing.
We had to work in the felds all week,
and my parents would take me dancing on
the weekend, May recalled. We would
drive in my dads Model T from Marion to
New Braunfels, which is now 1044. But,
at that time, it was a gravel road. So, if it
rained, we would have mud roads, so there
was no dancing.
But if you went dancing on a Sunday,
you had to remember that Monday morning
was laundry day, she said.
When shes not making a dirndl, which
she also wears to Wursfest, May can be
found dancing to good German music. She
certainly hasnt let two bad knees keep her
from her love of dancing.
I cant walk a few feet without my walker,
but I can sure dance with the son-of-a-gun,
she said.
Her beautiful dirndls, love of dancing
and warm personality has made May
the subject of an upcoming documentary,
Maybelle, Texas, which is expected to be
completed in February.
If you want one of Mays creations, you
can give her a call at 830-608-1215. But you
better hurry because Wurstfest is soon and
demand is high.
I start getting orders as soon as July,
she warned. I tell everybody they need to
get here early. People may think they have
plenty of time, but Im only one person. So,
you may not get a dress if you dont get
here early enough.
The Dress Lady by Nick Rogers
TXCITIZEN.COM 7
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Live Music Games Vendors Food
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1111 Landa Street
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Thu 10.9
Adobe Verde
3 Man Solo
6pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Mark Searcy Band
7pm
On the Rocks
Nate Rodriguez & Court Nance
7:30pm
Phoenix Saloon
Jade Marie Patek
5pm
Rileys Tavern
Pete Benz
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
The Texas KGB
8pm
Gruene Hall
Acoustic Jungle
5:30pm, $20
Uncle Lucius
w/ Garrett LeBeau
7pm, $10
The Pour Haus
Dillon Myers
8pm
River Road Ice House
Sam Riggs
7pm
Fri 10.10
Adobe Verde
Jeremy Steding
6:30pm
The Happy Cow
Haley Cole
8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Mighty Orq
6pm
On the Rocks
Drew Kennedy
7:30pm
Phoenix Saloon
Marcus Morales
5pm
Slim Bawb & the Fabulous Stumpgrinders
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Roy Heinrich & the Pickups
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Alpine Haus Restaurant
Off the Grid Polka Band
6pm
Billys Ice House
Moonlight Social
8pm
Gruene Hall
Robert Earl Keen
9pm, SOLD OUT
The Pour Haus
Mothership Connection
8:30pm
River Road Ice House
Mike McClure Band
w/ Johnny Cooper, Austin Allsup
7pm, $8
Vineyard at Gruene
Jeff Vaughn
7pm
Sat 10.11
Adobe Verde
Bru Erdman
6:30pm
Black Whale Pub
2 Rivers Trio
9pm
The Happy Cow
Tony Taylor
8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Monty Guitar Tyler Band
1pm
Kim & Her Bad Habits
6pm
On the Rocks
John Evans Band
7:30pm
Y
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Phoenix Saloon
The Georges
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Peppers Blues
9pm
Vino En Verde Wine Bar
D. Rock and J. Scott
2pm
Jesse Stratton
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
FILE 13
9pm
Gruene Hall
Red Dirt Rangers
1pm
Cory Morrow
w/ Strangetowne
8pm, $25
NB Farm to Market
Fallon Campbell
9:30am
The Pour Haus
Bill Ayers Band
9:30pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Broseph
7pm
Sun 10.12
Adobe Verde
TBA
6pm
The Happy Cow
T-Bone & the Bluetones
4pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Bare Fax
2pm
Pete Denny Band
7pm
Phoenix Saloon
James Pardo
3pm
True Audio Outland
7pm
Geronimo VFW #8456
TBA
3pm
Gruene Hall
Seth James Band, Jason Boland,
William Clark Green, Thieving Birds,
Monty Byrom, Shinyribs, Midnight River
Choir,
Zack Walther, Tom Gillam
2pm, $40
The Pour Haus
Aaron Stephens
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Shawn Hart
3pm
Mon 10.13
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
Gruene Hall
Grouchy Like Riley
6pm
The Pour Haus
Tony Taylor
8pm
River Road Ice House
Haley Cole
7pm
Tues 10.14
Watering Hole Saloon
TBA
8:30pm
Billys Ice House
Austin Gilliam
8pm
Gruene Hall
Mark Jungers, Nathan Hamilton, Jordan
Minor
6pm
The Pour Haus
Open Mic w/ Jon Magill
8pm
Wed 10.15
Phoenix Saloon
Jesse Stratton
8pm
Rileys Tavern
Jeremy Stedding
9pm
Billys Ice House
Aaron Stephens
8pm
Gruene Hall
The Georges
6pm
The Pour Haus
Mississhippie
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Zack Walther
6pm
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Fri 10.10
Cheatham Street Warehouse
William Clark Green
w/ Pardo & Reed
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
Benjamin Booker
w/ Blank Range, Barfield the Tyrant
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Tameca Jones, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
John Slaughter
8pm, 18+ $8
Luckenbach Dance Hall
T & C Miller
5pm
Tessy Lou & the Shotgun Stars
8pm
Red Eyed Fly
D.R.O.I.D., Drastik, Something Silky,
Light the Sun
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
Colony House & Knox Hamilton
w/ Hydra Melody
8pm, $10-$45
Stubbs BBQ
Skrillex
8pm, Outside, $32-$130
The Chain Gang of 1974
w/ Empires
11:30pm, Inside, $12
Sat 10.11
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Doug Moreland Band
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm
Ramsay Midwood
w/ Robert Banta
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Hillary York, 8:30pm
JosTameca Jones, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Cool Like Roy
5pm
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Kim Carson band
1pm
Red Eyed Fly
86 the Sun, Taiga, Leche,
Cities Between, Argyle Cactus
8pm, Outside
R & J Music Pavillion
Chris Saucedo Band
9pm
Sams Burger Joint
Eric Tessmer Band, Amplified Heat
9pm, $10-$40
Stubbs BBQ
Spoon
w/ A Giant Dog
8pm, Outside, $34-$132
J Roddy Walston & the Business
w/ Catfish & the Bottlemen
11:30pm, Inside, $17
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Kid & Pet Friendly!
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Call for Hours!
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OCT 9
@ 6 THE KINFOLK (FULL BAND)
OCT 10
@ 6 THE MIGHTY ORQ (FROM HOUSTON)
OCT 11
@ 1 THE MONTY "GUITAR" TYLER BAND
@ 6 KIM AND HER BAD HABITS
OCT 12
@ 2 BARE FAX
@ 7 THE PETE DENNY BAND
OCT 16
@ 6 JAM NIGHT
Upcoming Events:
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Freiheit Country Store
Karaoke
Friday Nights, 8pm
Happy Cow
Karaoke
Thursdays Nights
Koozies Icehouse
DJ
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Old Ice House
Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays
DJ
Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
Karaoke
Thursday Nights
Prickly Pear Lounge
Karaoke
Thursdays, Saturdays
DJ KC
Fridays
The Watering Hole Saloon
Karaoke
Thursdays
DJ
Fridays, Saturdays
diversions
10 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 11
We penetrate 10,000 of these:
52 TIMEs a year
THEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE. MAKE SURE THEY SEE YOU.
ADVERTISE HERE 830.358.2493
We got ourselves a new golf course, and without a doubt, its pretty sweet. The Parks Depart-
ment was good enough to invite us out for the opening, which included an excellent
clubhouse breakfast by Pavlocks, some speeches by assorted folks taking varying degrees
of credit for the project, and a self-guided tour of the course in spankin new golf carts.
The best part of these things is all the free stuff you get just for showing up, and the
course didnt skimp on the swag. In a conspicuous example of conflict of interest, we merrily
accepted the bag of stuff, and in return now award the new Landa Park Golf Course at Comal
Springs the highest of praise for an on-time, on-budget City project. Well done.
4-B President, Bob Gray
G
olf M
anager,
Chad D
onegan
New
Braunfels M
ayor,
Barron Casteel
Parks Director,
Stacey Dicke
Parks Director,
Stacey Dicke
gregersen
family
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830.629.8050
1050 I-35 Frontage Rd
Next to Kohls



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12 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: Why dont Mexicans
tip decently? I labor as a waitress in
a local upscale steakhouse where,
unfortunately, many Mexicans eat, and
the lousy tips are starting to piss me of!
Even blacks tip better! (Although, I gotta
say, Mexicans are much easier to wait
on. No constant requests for So mo
ranch dressin.) And yes: I always give
good service on the one-in-a-million
chance the brown-skinned loser sitting
at my table isnt a complete social retard.
Could you possibly pass the word along
so I can quit spitting in their drinks??
Waits on Too Many Wabs
Dear Gabacho: Lets consult the fndings
of Cornell University professor Michael Lynn,
the countrys premier scholar on tipping.
In a 2003 study titled Ethnic Differences
in Tipping: Evidence, Explanations and
Implications, Lynn examined the long-
standing claims by waiters that minorities
tip less than gabachos. He analyzed the
responses of nearly 2,000 eaters in Houston
and found that not only did Hispanics (really
Mexicans, since Houstons Latino community
is nearly three-quarters Mexican) tip as well as
gabachos, they usually tipped better.
Mexicans, according to Lynn, increased
their percentage tips with service more than
did whites. Lynn offered no explanation
for his fndings, but I will: Mexicans leave
a little extra not out of a perceived social
obligation but for a job well donewhich
includes how caliente the chica is. Most
Mexican restaurants force their waitresses to
wear skirts just below the culo and blouses
with a neckline that plunges like the American
auto industry. Mexicans tip accordinglyIve
been to dives where Mexican men will tip
three times their $40 bill if the waitress jiggles
just a little bit longer.
When Mexicans go to eateries where
the waitresses dress more conservatively, the
tips usually dry up. Want a little extra, Too


Many Wabs? Bring us a bottle of Tapatonot
Tabascowithout prompting. And get some
ass implants.
Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans
pronounce shower as chower but
chicken as shicken??
Vietnamese About to Orate
Dear Chinito: This column has provided
readers with many indicators of the differences
between recently arrived Mexicans and los
que have lived here for generations: skin
tone, car purchases, whether the Mexican
in question fushes his soiled toilet paper or
tosses it in the trash can. Another sure-fre way
is the ch/sh phonetic test.
Proper Spanish doesnt feature a
sh sound (known among linguists as
a linguapalatal fricative), so Mexicans
pronounce English words using an sh
sound with the harsher ch (known
as a lingualveolar affricate). However,
many indigenous Mexican tongues use
linguapalatal fricatives. The most famous
example is in the original pronunciation of
Mexico: as said in Nahuatl, the word sounds
like meh-shee-ko. The Spaniards couldnt
pronounce the middle consonant, though,
instead substituting a guttural j (as in Meh-
hee-ko) early in the Conquest.
They killed most of Mexicos Indians
in the ensuing decades, but the indigenous
sh sound never wholly disappeared: if you
do hear a Mexican using sh, its probably
a Mexican Indian. So next time you hear
a Mexican ask for a Shinese shicken
sandwish with Sheddar sheese, VATO, por
favor dont shortle.
Ask the Mexican at
themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
!
MOST WANTED
$300
REWARD
COMAL COUNTY S
MEDELLIN, JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
Male 507 200 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
CHARGE: Possession
of a controlled
substance pg 1 under
1 gram and theft of
property under $1500
with 2 or more
previous convictions
GANN,
AMBER P
Female 506 185 lbs
DOB: 04/16/1985
CHARGE: Intoxication
assault, aggravated
assault with a deadly
weapon and motion
to revoke probation
bail jumping/ fail to
appear felony
GARCIA, ALACELI
MELENDEZ
Female 505 285 lbs
DOB: 12/07/1970
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated with
child under 15 years
of age
HOWARD,
JAMES EDWIN
Male 607 200 lbs
DOB: 02/22/1950
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation -
possession of a
controlled substance
CAVAZOS,
FRANCISCO JR
Male 600 215 lbs
DOB: 08/26/1975
CHARGE: Two
charges of motion to
revoke probation -
driving while
intoxicated 3rd or more
JORDAN,
GABRIEL TERRELL
Male 506 150 lbs
DOB: 01/30/1993
CHARGE: Failure
to appear for
aggravated assault
with deadly weapon
and bail jumping/
failure to appear
MEJIA,
MARCO FABIAN
Male 506 210 lbs
DOB: 03/07/1984
CHARGE: Forgery
government/ national
government
instrument money/
security
MORENO,
RAFIEL
Male 505 198 lbs
DOB: 8/24/1969
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated
3rd or more
WAHLQUIST,
DANA FEDELE
Male 511 186 lbs
DOB: 05/21/1975
CHARGE: Unlawful
possession of metal or
body armor by felon
and unlawful
possession of a
firearm by felon
MERVIN,
ERIC LEE JR
Male 503 180 lbs
DOB: 09/01/1982
CHARGE: Possession
of a controlled
substance pg 1
under 1 gram
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday, October 6, 2014 at 10:00 am and may not be current by the time it is
read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL
COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.
830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
CREEL,
COLIN DAVID
Male 600 195 lbs
DOB: 03/31/1978
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated 3rd
or more
A
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SPECIAL BEST OF EDITION
TXCITIZEN.COM 13
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Third Place: Scores 51%
Fourth Place: Happy Cow 45%
Fifth Place: Buffalo Wings and Rings 39%
Winners:
Aimee DeWolfe @ Scores: 5/5 Perfect!
Misty Preece @ The Watering Hole: 4/5
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Ebola! Ebola!! Ebola!!!
That Ebola has reached the shores of the
United States is a little disturbing. That the
singular unexpected American case occurred
in Texas is scary (at least for most readers of
TX Citizen, I live safely in Vermont). Even if
youre one of the people that see the incident
cropping up in Dallas as a silver lining, I have
no doubt its a little close for comfort. So far,
the media coverage and the reaction from our
government have been equally disturbing. Im
by no means calling for panic, but its worth
discussing what the dangers are, from both a
medical and a policy perspective.
Ebola is a type of hemorrhagic fever found
in Africa. (Hemorrhagic fevers are named
such because the end stages can include both
internal and external bleeding. Bad stuff.) The
lethality of Ebola averages about 50 percent,
but in Africa, there have been outbreaks where
90 percent of those infected died. Ebola is
transmitted by bodily fuids, which makes it a
bit harder to catch, but since symptoms include
diarrhea, vomiting, and bleeding, contact
with body fuids is also more common. The
incubation period for the virus (the time it takes
to show symptoms) is 21 days at the long end,
and before symptoms appear people are not
considered contagious (more on this later).
The current outbreak in West Africa is the
largest in history. At the time of this writing, over
7,000 cases have been documented and just
over 3,400 deaths have resulted, according to
the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Lack of
effective healthcare, government and sanitation
in the affected countries make the problem
worse. The virus has begun to make its way out
of the countries where it originated. Neighboring
African nations are most at risk, but there has
been one case in the U.S. and another, newly
reported, in Spain. All of this is the bad news,
but not exactly an end-of-the-world scenario.
What about the good news? Well, the
chances of Ebola taking any signifcant hold in
America is very low. The CDC has been quick
to note that the fu is a much more signifcant
threat. The CDC looks to a 2010 study for this
information, in which it was estimated that there
have been between 3,000 and 49,000 fu
related deaths in America over the years from
1976 to 2007. The current outbreak, again
the worst in history, is just over the low end
in that range, and thats in Africa. The reason
that Ebola is less dangerous on the whole is
that its much more diffcult to contract than
the fu. The fu is airborne and commonplace;
Ebola is not. So, if the fu isnt sending you into
a tizzy yearly, Ebola shouldnt either, mostly.
Recent punditry seemed set on making fun
of parents pulling their children out of school
because some students had been exposed to
the Dallas Ebola patient. This is an easy stance
to take when your children are not involved. I
side with the parents on this one, though. As
much as I have railed against people using the
precautionary principle, this is one of those
instances where the precautionary principle
actually applies. It may be much more likely that
your children will contract the fu than Ebola, but
catching the fu generally means bed rest and
chicken soup. The consequences of Ebola are
substantially more serious. Even the small risk
of contracting Ebola far outweighs the loss of
a few days, or even weeks, of school. Staying
calm is one thing; being stupid is quite another.
Another bit of good news is that our
healthcare is such that it is quite possible that
Ebola would be substantially less lethal in the
U.S. Early treatment of the early symptoms
(primarily with rehydration) could help people
survive the later symptoms. And, better nutrition
and stronger resulting immune systems may
make the virus less deadly here. The 50 percent
survival rate that is cited has never taken into
account treatment in a frst-world country.
Should Ebola become an issue in the U.S., we
are far better off than those in West Africa.
On the down side, the hospital that
originally saw the frst American case sent him
home with antibiotics even after he gave them
enough information to suspect Ebola. It appears
the dumbing-down of the populous has fnally
reached a dangerous point. Furthermore, the
best place to catch an infection is often in a
hospital, and if Ebola sufferers go there in any
signifcant numbers, the hospitals themselves
may become a breeding ground. This is
a problem already experienced in Africa.
Among the recommendations made by the
CDC to travelers (aside from avoiding travel to
stricken areas) is to stay away from hospitals
if possible. Of course, staying away from
hospitals if youre sick isnt much of an option.
There are two last bits of bad news in
all this. First is that Ebola can be transmitted
sexually up to seven weeks after recovery. This
makes me wonder if it might also be sexually
transmittable before symptoms appear. I
can fnd no information on this, but it seems
reasonable to me as a layman. Second is that
Ebola is capable of infecting a good number
of mammals. Its believed that the major host
in Africa is fruit bats. Among the other animals
the CDC lists as capable of carrying the
infection are apes, monkeys, antelope, and
porcupines (and a similar virus has managed
to be transmitted to pigs). While America is
free of apes (other than humans), we do have
deer and porcupines in abundance. Should the
infection spread to the local fauna, we could
have recurring outbreaks just as Africa does.
Of course, the best way to ensure that
Ebola doesnt become a signifcant problem
in the U.S. is to keep the infected quarantined.
Until the Dallas case, we had managed just
that, at least in this country. Unfortunately the
government is loath to close down air travel
from the infected areas in Africa. They are
right to say that to do so would only encourage
those in the infected areas to attempt to fee
to other countries, perhaps spreading the
contagion, but it would also be a frst step
in keeping the virus out of our country. Other
steps might include mandatory quarantine for
people with passports either from afficted
areas or who have traveled to those areas.
The idea that this might prevent us from
giving help to the West African countries
suffering from the outbreak is ridiculous. Private
or military means could be used specifcally for
this purpose, and it probably should be. The
real reason that the government is reluctant to
take such actions is that it sends a poor message
to the world. It would be tantamount to admitting
that the disease is out of our control and far from
over. It is, but no one wants to admit that just yet.
Up to this point, Ebola outbreaks have
burnt themselves out for the most part. Ebola has
typically struck rural areas in Africa, and sparse
population has kept it in check even when the
infection rate was high. The current outbreak is
in an urban area with lots of people to infect
and modern means of travel that allow it to
spread more quickly. The United States and the
United Nations would like to believe (and for us
to believe) that they can bring enough resources
to bear to end this outbreak, but it probably isnt
true, and the virus will probably have to run its
course before disappearing again.
Ebola is certainly dangerous, and its quite
likely that we havent seen the last case in the
U.S. Its defnitely worth keeping an eye on the
outbreak in the following months, but its probably
not worth losing sleep over. Ive written this
column not to frighten people but to keep them
informed. The truth is that the danger from Ebola
in this country is very, very small, but it is not zero.
Our government does a very poor job of looking
out for our interests. This situation is no different.
Be aware, and be informed but dont panic.
L
a
st W
o
rd
With Kelly Colby
You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfrstshrug.
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