Welcome once again to the column that has Achilles heel in a jar, complete with

arrowhead, Take up thy wrestling boots and walk. I’m the man with more hillbilly
rock and hillbilly roll than Hillbilly Jim, Pt2, back once again from the casual
monotony of the week.

In the news this week, Sean O’Haire gets arrested for beating women and Chyna
reveals she did a Paris Hilton with Sean “X-Pac” Waltman. I don’t know which is
worse - a man agreeing to sleep with Chyna, or a woman agreeing to sleep with a
man known as “the 1-2-3 Kid” for years.

All pathetic joking aside, I think it’s time to get on with the column.

Majority

Hardcore wrestling and Cruiserweight wrestling tend to have a couple of things in

common. While they don’t ever look anything alike, they tend to get their own
cult following, and tend to rely almost solely on high spots to keep attention.
Another thing that they have in common is that on their own, they don’t attract
the majority of wrestling fans.

Now I can sense the Cruiser marks sharpening knives and the ECW marks getting
out bags of thumb tacks, but hear me out. I’m perfectly well aware that both
styles can draw, in their own right. Mick Foley, while not being Stone Cold Steve
Austin, would attract his fair share of fans, and he’s a classic example of hardcore
wrestling. AJ Styles, the cruiserweight, is probably the top draw for NWA-TNA
right now; in a company that features Raven and Jeff Jarrett, Jeff Hardy and D-lo
Brown.

But look at both men’s biggest matches. This is a pretty key point - both men
draw bigger crowds when they are facing an opponent with differing styles. AJ’s
biggest matches have been against Jeff Jarrett and Raven. Mick Foley’s biggest
matches haven’t been against Sandman and Sabu - he drew much more against
Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Sting. The contrast of styles draws well. Look at
the Bret Hart Diesel matches in 1995. In case you don’t remember, in 1995 the
WWF was losing money faster than Steve Williams in divorce court, but the Bret
Hart diesel matches always drew pretty well. In November Bret drew well with
Kevin Nash a man not known for his technical ability, but with a huge size and
power advantage against the Hitman. A month later, Bret took on the British
Bulldog, in the rematch from Summerslam 92, a match many people declared to
be the best of all time. Bulldog had a more similar style to Hart than Diesel, and
despite the great match they had 3 years before, the match bombed.

If you look at wrestlers who have been popular with the mass wrestling audience,
they are always wrestlers who regardless of their individual style know how to
pace their spots to work the crowd to maximum effect. Hulk Hogan had some of
the most memorable matches of all time, despite the fact that he can’t move like
American Dragon in the ring. And the only reason why he could do that is by
knowing how the control the fans emotion. The way people like Hogan, Hart, Flair
et al did that was something I blatantly tried, and failed, at incorporating into my
own style in the ring. In the end I had to settle for a piss poor imitation.

Just as an example - How many people who have seen Wrestlemania VI have
forgotten the “Greco Roman Knuckle lock”, as Jesse Ventura put it, where Hogan
and the Warrior have their big test of strength? OK, Granted, I know it’s not as
physically impressive as a triple somersault plancha or whatever the hell we’re up
to these days in terms of athleticism, but it’s more memorable. It added to the
match, instead of taking away from it. When you are in the ring, you are telling a
story, and these guys were telling the story of the two most powerful forces the
company had ever seen, meeting. The fans are going to have no objection to a
test of strength, to see who is stronger - and when they saw Hulk Hogan brought
to his knees by the young pretender to his crown, the roar of the crowd was
phenomenal.

Last year, a match between Kurt Angle and the Undertaker was better than any
cruiserweight match in terms of storytelling and crowd reaction - you often find
the two go hand in hand. A good example of why Cruiserweight vs. Cruiserweight
matches as they are often done these days will never out draw wrestlers like
Triple H, the Rock and Chris Benoit, took place at Wrestlemania XIV. Taka
Michinoku took on Mr. Aguila. They got out there, and started doing some very
nice moves. They were obviously very athletic, and very good at what they did.
The problem was, that it’s very much like a game of can you top this - its nice
move, after nice move, after nice move. The pace is fast, so there is little time for
selling, and the story goes out the window. After five minutes, the crowd stop
reacting, because they’ve seen all that these guys can show them. They haven’t
given them any reason to care in terms of the match story, and people do get
bored of seeing people flip around - otherwise, Olympic gymnastics would have a
higher audience than Monday night Raw.

Two years later, The Rock and Triple H, two men who are in all honesty
athletically inferior to Aguila and Taka, went an hour, and had people enthralled
up until the final bell. The general opinion was that the two had topped what the
two greatest wrestlers of the era, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, had done four
years prior in the first WWF televised Iron man match. It’s proof that knowledge
of how to work the crowd as a whole is far more important than the moves you
actually use. While a wider range of holds and manoeuvres can allow you to
control them for longer, if you don’t use them properly you don’t stand a chance.

For all of this, I’m not saying that all cruiserweights can’t draw, and I’m not
saying that about hardcore wrestlers either. A hardcore wrestler can know how to
space his spots out well, otherwise you get the feeling that raven wouldn’t have
had any success in TNA or WCW. From what I’ve seen of Brian Kendrick, he can
hold the crowd in the palm of his hands, and knows how to use cruiserweight
wrestling psychology against heavier wrestlers with the same expertise as Rey
Mysterio.

But a lot of wrestlers who appeal to these niche audiences tend to go to the high
spots too quickly, and just run through the match paying no attention to getting
the audience involved in it, just hoping for all the “whoa!” noises that people
make when their watching “when swimming with slightly irritable Killer whales”
goes wrong.

Make no mistake about it though - when all is said and done, people will be
talking about Bret Hart vs. The British Bulldog, Hulk vs. Andre and Triple H vs.
Jericho last man standing. They won’t be talking about that match where the one
guy broke 9 tables over the other guys head. That’s the nature of the business....
and I can’t see it changing. It's not the amount of flips you do or the amount of
glass you fall on.... it's the amount of people you can make give a shit when you
do it.

That’s it for this week, I hope you enjoyed it. If you would like to get in touch
with me about the column or the You be the booker contest, you can reach me at
Takeupandwalk@hotmail.com

Make sure you check out this months COTM: The sharpshooter by Cavalou, on
the main page now!

There won’t be a column next week, but look out for the tie breaker the week
after.

Pt2.