2

This book is about the beauty of being human! Life is not all rosy and smooth! People
need to hear and read stories from real people. The true heroes don't wear capes and
bright coloured nylon suits... True heroes are people who went through a lot and made it
to tell the story to the World ! True heroes are people like you and me. We ain't
celebrities, we are just doing our best to live another day.








Be the mighty bold Sun in the darkness, and dare to shine for all to see.







If you risk nothing in life, you have nothing, you have done nothing, you have achieved
nothing.
from the film - The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011)







I just let my thoughts cascade like some waterfall,
Through my fingers straight into the pool of your eyes.
Drink my words, in joyful small sips,
Taste their sweetness in your lips.











3

TABLE OF CONTENTS:



DARE TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONES LIFE....................... page 4
DANCING IN THE URBAN JUNGLE......................................................... .page 5
MIRROR, MIRROR........................................................................................ page 6
THE MUD HOLE The Story of a Premonition............................................ page 7
AND THEY SAY MIRACLES DONT HAPPEN IN OUR LIVES.. page 12
TAROTs SHOCKING NEWSpage 14
NURTURING THE BLOSSOM..page 15
WHY ME? .......................................................................................................page 16
DOG BITEpage 18
FREE TICKET DILEMMA. page 21
THE SUN. page 23
THE MOON. page 24
THEY ONLY FLOWER WHEN THEY ARE HAPPY.. page 25
I WANT TO LIVE! . page 26
DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. page 29
I MADE IT, YOU CAN TOO! page 33
SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF THE SAME GOD. page 35
HOPE IS AROUND THE CORNER page 37
THE MANY MANIFESTATIONS OF HEALING IN LIFE... page 39
THE COSMIC PIANIST AND LADY IGNORANCE. page 41
LETTER FROM A HUMAN HEART.. page 42
TO ALL OF YOU WHO HATE OVERCOMPLICATED PRAYERS.page 43
THE SHEEP THAT TURNED INTO A LION(ESS)page 44
DARE TO WALK THE TALK. page 46
THE JOYS OF . page 48
ONE DAY, I HAD A DREAM..page 49
THE WALLpage 50
ANGELS.page 51
MY HEART IS YOUR CATEDRAL page 52
CEASE CALLING FEAR YOUR FRIEND...page 54
KARMA. page 56







4

DARE TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONES LIFE

To let someone make an impact in our lives is easy, the real challenge is to make an impact on
another persons life. The real and true challenge is not to receive, it is to give without ever
expecting anything in return, to be selfless.

All the pain and hurt, all the troubles and stinking mess, all the screaming and violence, all of it,
absolutely all of it is worth living when you know that you still have the courage to stand up and
reach out for those in need and that thanks to your noble gesture of compassion and humanity, their
lives will never be the same. That is what makes life worth living - to know that some way,
somehow, you just made a difference on someones life, that today someone has logged in and
opened their email, book page or magazine, and one of your photographs, one of your verses, a line
of your stories just made someone living on the opposite corner of the World smile, and for 5
seconds their pain and worry was forgotten.

It is not your talent and skill alone that make your words on paper and images so fascinating and
intriguing. A great masterpiece is only great because of the effect and impact it has on people. The
beauty, veracity and message of your work would have no meaning if there was no one out there to
appreciate it and be deeply moved or thought provoked by it. Just remember, what you create
touches lives, it sparks emotions and memories within people. The people that care to see, read and
feel what you create, they are the ones who perceive beauty and talent. Words on a piece of paper,
a melody or a photograph have no meaning until they touch someones life.

Keep writing and photographing, keep inspiring and being inspired, what you are and create are the
little twinkling stars that brighten up and guide many lives that are often so lost in an ocean of
misery, despair and darkness. They may never write back to you or say thank you, they may not
even have the words to express what and how they feel, but when they smile after witnessing and
experiencing the content of your heart felt message, you know and I know that you have made a
difference in their lives.

This book is dedicated to all of you who dare to put your time, heart and effort in your story telling
(whether it is written, spoken or in an image). This book is dedicated to you, reading this right now
dare to reach out and touch someones life! Dont wait, do it now!

I also dedicate this piece to Ana Lux, whose stories I had the privilege to read. Ana, if you ever
read this please publish your material, you are a powerful writer but also a very intriguing human
being. Talent without soul is worthless, talent with soul is liquid gold !





5

DANCING IN THE URBAN JUNGLE

I have been too busy, but only, too busy enjoying myself and living life as it was meant to be lived.
Life, was always meant to be enjoyed.

So some time ago I was in a "taster class" (first dance class), when this ex professional performer
says this, as if reading my mind:

" - Dancing is like a prayer without words. When you dance, you are peeling the many layers of
this onion to find yourself (the many layers of the onion are a metaphor for the many masks and
social shields we learned to wear in our lives since we were kids growing up to the present day).
That's it, that is what dancing is all about - finding your true self, your core (the centre of the onion
!) and express it in movement! The steps to any dance style are the language, so here, you are just
learning the language, but your essence, your energy, what moves you, has been there all along
since the very beginning, long before you learned to speak any language! When you dance, you
don't worry, you don't even think! When you dance, you empty your mind of all your thoughts,
worries and fears. Here, while dancing, you live on the moment, you live in the NOW!
Nothing else matters!"

Well, so in a couple of sentences she took my breath away! Then I understood why there was this
awful emptiness within me for some years - artists learn to express themselves in the language of
movement and rhythm. This is the silent prayer I have longed for, for so long, the one that I have
been repressing for all these years. When I dance, it feels like coming back home, the self imposed
social layers drop off, one by one!

It's feels good to be back doing the things we love. I will finish this message just the same way as I
started - be busy, be too busy enjoying yourselves and living life as it was meant to be lived. Life,
was always meant to be enjoyed! And if your heart is singing, you are in the right path, on your
way back home!














6

MIRROR, MIRROR !


There is another part to the dance class story that I haven't mention yet, until now ;)

In the room there is a massive wall mirror, and one of the very first exercises that the 15 of us had
to do on the very first day of our class, was to walk towards that mirror across the massive dance
studio room, whilst locking our gaze without flinching with our own eyes reflected on the mirror.
Once we were face to face with our own reflection, we were instructed by the teacher to look
deeply and quietly within the eyes of our own reflection, and say:
"Hello!"
Basically, the idea was to greet our true selves, the one that we cover up under a lot of social
masks. We were not allowed to stare at our colleagues and not allowed to stare at any other part of
our bodies. We were not allowed to judge, only allowed to stare quietly for a full minute into our
own eyes...

And then I had this thought - how many times have I dared to look deep within, without any
judgement, just quietly accepting what I see in me ? How many times have I tore myself into
shreds with myself criticism because of a black spot, an extra gray hair showing off, or some fallen
eye lash?! How many times have I seen myself as just a physical body, full of imperfections and
dismissed my core, my true self, my soul ??

For many of us these would be the most disturbing 60 seconds of our lives!

So I dare you all, to do the same - walk towards the nearest, biggest mirror available, lock your
gazes with your own eyes reflected on the mirror, and when you are face to face with your own
reflection, greet yourselves, look deep within these eyes and say - "Hello." Would you now go one
step further and dare to say, whilst staring at the reflection of your own eyes: "I deserve love, peace
and joy." Go on, say it, and mean it!

Surprisingly simple, and yet, so profound!












7


THE MUD HOLE - The Story of a Premonition

Thursday evening to Friday morning, 1st November 2013
(after Halloween)

I woke up, after a disturbing dream. In my dream, there was this place that looked like an old dusty
and gray storehouse with many ladders and rooms with shelved walls. In the storehouse, I did not
know what was I looking for, but I knew that I was searching for something. Nothing really looked
that interesting, but I just kept walking and climbing ladders to access more rooms and more dirty
dusty shelves. I don't remember to have anyone with me in the dream. Then, all of a sudden, I
found a little red dragon, it looked like a porcelain / painted clay statue. So I reached out to touch it
and pet it on the head, just like you would do to a small child, and exclaimed:

" - Oh look, so cute, I have never seen one of these before!"

As soon as I finish saying this, the little red dragon moved his head and stared at me right in the
eye with a strange creepy smirk that smelled trouble! I backed off a few steps and as I was about to
turn, the last scene my eyes captured were of the red dragon physically attacking someone that
resembled one of my female friends. I turned around and run off, leaving her behind, with the
disturbing feeling that I could have done more, I shouldn't had left her there! But why the heck was
she there now, precisely at the exact time of the attack?! She wasn't there before, I could swear that
I had walked in that store room on my own!

I woke up, and tried to shake off the memory of that weird dream. I was making some coffee to
help me to keep my eye lids up, when I switched on my laptop and started reading the first
message on my email box - the first message I read related to the petite red dragon I saw in my
dream! I was baffled!

................

Monday, 4th November 2013

I rang Kate, and I felt very disturbed after listening to her talking to me on the phone. I sat in front
of the laptop after she switched off the phone and wrote down the following message to my dear
friend Joe.

My email message to Joe:

Dear Joe, I am having a sh!t day. Not very often I have days like this. So, I am just going to
cascade my thoughts here like a waterfall... Is it normal to become a lot more sensitive to other
people's little tantrums and to take on your back the weight on your shoulders of your friends'
problems ? Like, really feel on your skin their pain and the crushing sadness of their lives on
yourself ? I am not coping too well, it is like, I feel as if I left a big door open and all sorts of
unwanted things are attacking me, I am talking about people's negativity. Crap... I hate this! But
8

then, the mad crazy part is that I kinda feel really sorry for these people and I feel so sad because I
wish I could help them, but I can't. I am so fed up! I am fed up and I will explain you why I am fed
up: because there is such a big gap between the things that really matter in life and the things that
people fight over for money! I am so freaking fed up of the rows and problems generated around
the cursed piece of paper called money. Sick of it! Do you ever wish you just had 50 thousand in
your bank account and could just openly and freely give it to your friend that is living in deep sh!t,
not because she is a bad person or because she asked for it, but because people around her just keep
f*cking up her life ? And somehow you just wish you could pull her out of the mud hole and ease
her pain and stressful life somehow?! This is the story about Kate, a dear friend of mine that works
full time as a nurse. Her ex hubby is out of jail this week, and he decided that it would be a great
idea to come to collect the furniture and electric appliances from her house, and that includes to
take the furniture from his own daughter's bedroom and leave the mom and daughter sleeping on
the floor of the apartment until after Christmas... Ah! But wait, the crazy part is that he actually
does not even need the furniture or electric appliances for himself, he is just doing it because these
were offered to Kate by his parents... I was talking to Kate earlier on and she was saying that she
suspects that the many years of drug use / abuse have left some serious psychological scars on him,
to the point that me and her are starting to suspect that or he is Bipolar, or he is Schizo ! If you are
a father, it's not normal to do this and just leave your own daughter sleeping on the floor. I do
understand he no longer gives a f*ck about his ex wife (Kate), but come on!! Do not act like a
bastard towards his own daughter ! I mean, if you love your children dearly, is that the way you
show your affection ? Really ?!

I kinda feel like ... am I normal for caring and feeling bad ? Should I live my life as a walking brick
that does not care about anybody's life ? And how can I block this negativity from becoming stuck
to me like resin and mud on my clothes? I feel her pain, but I am so powerless to do anything to
help!

I really do not understand, you know, some people just seem to attract only disaster and trouble
onto their lives, one after the other, after the other... in a vicious circle! So, I have known my friend
Kate for about 10 years... and there is always sh!t happening in her Life... Darn, is she cursed or
what ?! Looks like someone is sending her all sorts of sh!t and nasty events. But I admire her
hugely, I really do and I mean that. She is like my hero ! Darn, sh!t happens one after the other and
she does not sway, she is still there, fighting, just fighting and surviving a day at a time. I do not
know where does she get the strength to keep up with the many life assaults and punches. And it is
so weird ... So weird for me to think about this because, she is a nurse, she wipes everyone's crap,
washes them, clothes them, medicates them, listens to them, changes beds, runs up and down in a
massive building without a lift operating, and she is still there, just living every day as best as she
can. Plus she has a daughter to look after on her own, since "daddy" does not really bother at all.
But, it makes me so sad... I actually met this guy in the beginning of their very tormented
relationship about 8 years ago, and, he actually always gave me the impression to be a reasonably
sensitive and very intelligent guy, and he actually is also a very likeable person. He is naturally
charming and funny. But... something just smells odd. Someone that has all this potential and yet,
he was always so freaking jealous of my friendship with Kate. He was almost intimidated by me,
perhaps because he was envious that my friendship between me and her was a lot stronger than the
bond he had with her ?!?! Strange... But there is more... He also had a big fascination and love/lust
9

for heavy drugs. I actually dare to say he has always loved cocaine more than he loved his own
family. I wonder what made him start to consume them in the
first place - lack of self respect ? Feeling unworthy ? Lack of self love ? Feeling that no one cares
about him... ? Loneliness maybe... ?

So, it is strange, I feel weird, in one hand I wish something awful would happen to him and he rots
in jail for another 10 years or more, but there is a side of me that actually feels sorry for him, as a
human being. It saddens me because he is in his late 30's and he could be so much more, SO
MUCH MORE! It saddens me because about 8 years ago I looked at him in the eyes and saw
someone with intelligence, bright, sweet and funny... His daughter is a gorgeous, loving and
charming little girl.

Maybe she will be a heart breaker like "daddy" when she grows up.

My friend Kate, on the phone, was describing to me what she felt when she first saw her baby girl
in her arms and the promise she made to herself:- to love this little girl unconditionally and protect
her with claws and teeth, no matter what.

Unconditional love...

Ok... the flood gates are going to close now, I needed to get this out of my chest. Few understand,
and fewer give a darn !

.............

Tuesday, 5th November 2013
Joe's reply to my email:

I woke at 2am with a terrible feeling of dread. I can't seem to shake it. I don't know why. Have you
ever done that? I went to bed in a good mood... Had a positive outlook on things... Was figuring on
having good dreams. I was dreaming about prison... I was a prisoner. It was terrible... I was so
scared. I was secretly plotting to escape. In the dream I could levitate, and so when I was afraid
someone would hurt me, I would float up above them and away from them. It was the only way I
could survive. When I woke up I was so full of anxiety, and dread. I feel like something is wrong,
and I can't shake it. I hate this. I figure you are probably up, or will be soon....

I was thinking about the last email you sent. I did understand exactly how you were feeling, and
exactly what was going on. I frequently feel others pain and heartache. It's a good thing though. I
also understand what drives people like her despicable husband. I fingerprint sorry for people like
that too. They are so blind, and naive.... And let money or "things" rule them. Looking at it from
our perspective with clear eyes, they seem so stupid and childish... And utterly selfish. It's all so
stupid. Unfortunately, their stupidity frequently hurts others that don't deserve it. It's so frustrating
to not be able to do anything about it. Your friend is probably well grounded with her little girl...
She keeps her focus on what's important. The husband is only focused on himself... He can't see
beyond that.
10


Anyway, I understand your empathy... I am the same way. I have helped a lot of people whenever I
could... That's why I have no money. I always give it away. I'm like you... I think its the devil. It
drives people to do all kinds of crazy things.

..................

Thursday, 14th November 2013
My email to Joe:

Dear Joe, do you remember the message you sent me about the crazy dream you had on the 6th of
this month ?

Ok Joe, so lets start, shall we?!

- Yesterday night I called my friend Kate, the nurse, the one whose ex husband is from hell. (you
know the story, I told you about). So Kate was in work a few days after our emails and something
bizarre happened. There was this male patient in his mid 30's who used to be a prisoner and from
what I understood, he got out of prison recently. He has a type of cancer that is developing from his
nose into his brain. So, he is staying as a patient in that place where Kate works as a nurse and
carer. Someone above the staff decided that it was time to move this patient / ex prisoner to another
"hospital" without any warning. Naturally, this made him very nervous and anxious because now
he felt very attached to these nurses that cared for him every day. So, last week he was packing his
bags absolutely annoyed and frustrated because he felt he was being treated and kicked like some
stray dog, and thought he deserved to at least choose where he could stay (some people react very
badly to sudden changes because they feel very insecure and have got very little support or
understanding from others). So, here comes the interesting bit: that day, last week, while he was
packing his bags, he was shouting to everybody:

" - If you want me to go away, I will go away !!", the staff were trying to calm him down and
persuade him to take it easy, because this was about transferring him to a new place, and not about
kicking him out! But in his head, because he was so annoyed, he had a clouded judgement of the
whole situation, so his plan was leaving that place and perhaps live on the street, since he has
nowhere else to go. The argument was starting to heat up, until my friend Kate the nurse, faced him
and had a chat with him, since he is very fond of her, so maybe she would be the best to settle
down the mad argument. But things took a turn for the worse, and before she could blink, he took a
gun out of his bag and pointed it at her.
Remarkably, Kate remained very calm and cold blooded and talked him out and even could
persuade him to give up the idea of shooting her or any of the staff. She was talking to him and
persuading him by saying:
" - Do you really want to shoot me ? Yeah, are you gonna shoot those that love you and care for
you? I know you are not gonna shoot me because you know why ? Because I do not deserve it and
you know that ! " - yeah, Kate is a cold blooded mighty b!tch!
( yeah... she is my hero, always was, now more than ever before !! )

11

So , the guy dropped the gun and started crying a river and even hugged Kate, while apologizing a
million times for the incident. Now... how similar is that to your dream description Joe ??

.............

Friday, 15th November 2013
Joe's email reply:

Wow!! Yes... I think that REALLY WAS the connection with that strange dream. Nothing ever
happened in my direct life... So I didn't know what to think about it. When I had the dream it felt
very much like a premonition. My dreams have certain feel to them, and I know when one is trying
to tell me something or warn me about something. We had just been talking about Kate, so I must
have picked up the connection to her through you.
Well... Welcome to my world. It's not like everyone else's, but I would never change a thing :))

Thanks for sharing that... That explains that dream, I'm sure!



I also suspect that this event was also the connection with my weird dream with the mysterious red
dragon.



















12

AND THEY SAY THAT MIRACLES DON'T HAPPEN IN OUR LIVES...
ARE YOU SURE?

Yesterday I felt drawn to give a call to my friend at home (I am talking about Kate - the nurse). She
is in Summer holidays now so I have to call her as often as I can because she has time to talk to me
now, once she goes back to her crazy life working full time as a nurse, we have very little time to
talk.

So, on the 13th August was her birthday, but something weird happened - she met a young girl at
her party that started talking to her (after a few drinks) about how she was raped when she was a
young kid (same age as Kate, by the same guy that raped my nurse friend)!!! Ok... your birthday
party SHOULDNT BE the best day to talk about something as awful as this, I was shocked! My
friend nurse (Kate) said on the phone:

" - What the f*ck?! On my birthday, talking about this stuff ??!! Is this some sick coincidence or
what??!! While she was describing it, it was as if I was reliving all that SH!T that happened to me
ALL OVER AGAIN!!!"

So, yesterday while I was on the phone with her, she told me what happened days after her
birthday party. It was on the night of the 17th August 2014, Sunday night, she went to a party
outdoors, like a concert/festival with live music. She went with a couple of friends and her
boyfriend. Kate described that when she was returning home with her crowd after the concert, she
saw a church that was still open, this was 1 am !!! That's right, 1 AM night time!!! Strangest part
was that she felt so strongly drawn to enter the church, she can't really explain or describe the
reason and strong pull that brought her there. So she asked her companions to give her a minute.
As she was about to come in, the priest was just about to close the door and she begged him to
please let her in, because SHE REALLY NEEDED IT! (I must remind you that Kate is NOT A
CHURCH OR EVEN A RELIGIOUS PERSON AT ALL! ) As she sat down on the bench, she was
overwhelmed by a deep and unexplainable feeling of overwhelming love and peace, which led her
to cry a river uncontrollably! She just sat there asking to be happy, and she also says that the
"uncontrollable sobs" felt like a soul cleansing. This had to do with the rape / sexual abuse story
that was brought to life during her birthday party.

I was really REALLY intrigued, and because I have this mad ability to put pieces of the puzzle
together, I suddenly had a really intense flashback - I remembered clearly the email message I had
sent to Kate EXACTLY ONE YEAR BEFORE, in August 2013!!! This is not a joke, I swear this
is true! The message that I sent to my friend Kate can be read on:

THE MANY MANIFESTATIONS OF HEALING
(this message was sent exactly on the day of my friend's birthday LAST YEAR - the 13th August!)

and
LETTER FROM A HUMAN HEART
13


(on this story, I remember clearly when I wrote down to my friend this prayer
"Dear God, I thank You for helping me in my times of struggle, sharing with me the load of my
burden and wipe away my tears, thank You for healing my heart, thank You for always leaving
Your door open in my times of trouble" - well, to me kinda sounds very similar when you think
about what happened at the little church at 1 AM one year after on that Sunday night, exactly one
year after I sent to her those emails to her! Specially the part about, leaving the door open in times
of struggle!)

I remember clearly that, one year before, after she read the following paragraph:

"when I referred that I ask God to help me to bring "healing" to all in need whose Life I have
touched throughout my existence, I am simply asking for help to bring to these people the healing
of their hearts that have gone so cold and numb with rage, violence, depression and hopelessness."

- she reacted in an extremely similar way (August 2013), she was overwhelmed by a cascade of
tears, a soul cleansing sob, not out of sadness, but out of a very deep sense of love and inner peace.
I have to say, this is really, REALLY intense! And they say that miracles dont happen in our lives!
Well, think again
























14

TAROTs SHOCKING NEWS!

I have a Mauritian friend of mine, she works as a beautician, but that is not really what she wants
to pursue in life. What she REALLY wants to do is teaching Pranic healing.


So a few weeks ago, on Sunday 10th August, she asked me to do a distant Tarot reading for her (a
distant Tarot reading is done when the person is not present, so I have to pray for guidance and
dedicate the reading to that person, and read out loud the questions that that person wants guidance
on). Ok, so pay attention to this - I arrived to my apartment late at night, got the candles on,
organized my table and asked for guidance. As I opened the paper in which her questions were
written, I read the first question out loud - her question read:

" - I need guidance and help to open a class to teach people to do Pranic Healing, am I on the right
path, what do I need to know??" - seconds after the pile of books that was standing in front of me
fell on the floor without me or anybody touch it. As I bend to pick up the books, the first book that
I picked was called, "Pranic Healing" by Choa Kok Sui, (the author of this book was the Master
that trained this Mauritian girl for whom I was doing the distant Tarot reading). As I picked up the
book from the floor and reread the question that my friend asked guidance on about opening a class
on Pranic Healing, I just smiled and thought to myself:

" - WOW, your Master REALLY wants you to know that he gives you the thumbs up!" - Oh I
loved it so much!

Then as I put on the cards, the answer came with flying colors!!

Then, the next question was regarding the business she is in at the moment and what should she
expect, as I put on the cards, everything made perfect sense, but the really disturbing part was
when on the future section of the reading the cards WARNED about a certain letter that would
come in the near future with bad news, something to do with a massive quarrel, and somehow,
somebody whose an land - owner (property owner) would be involved in this!!! This reading was
done and recorded in detail on the Sunday the 10th August in the evening. On Monday 11th
August I was busy working and when I tried to meet her, she was not available, so I had to leave it
for Tuesday, the 12th August. As I stepped into the beauty salon that afternoon with the record of
her Tarot reading in my bag, she showed me the letter that she had received that same morning,
with a warning - THE LANDLORD OF THE SHOPPING CENTER WANTS EVERYBODY
OUT BY THE END OF AUGUST!!! That's right, my chin dropped to the floor! I was so freaking
shocked!





15

NURTURING THE BLOSSOM

I know you have self esteem issues, you have difficulty seeing yourself as worthy of admiration...
Well, when are you gonna stop for a minute and realize that you, yourself are also a part of God's
beauty, the same beauty you see in Nature and in the Universe ? When are you gonna look in the
mirror and challenge the old ideas about yourself ? Damn, there is nothing wrong with you, you are
cute, sexy, charming... can't you see that ?? Can't you celebrate for once the beauty in you that was
created by the Source of all Power and Creation? You see, you really don't have to do anything,
because its all there already, you really just have to be able to see it and be willing to look at it,
that's all. Honey, celebrate the divinity that there is within you and outside you aswell. You, like
me and all the others are a product of His creation, and in His eyes, you are perfection.

Honey... God never ever gets tired of prayers of love, praise and gratitude. God is there for us for
the good times and the bad times too... so... what's wrong with sharing our love, joy and gratitude
with our Creator ? Be grateful, be always grateful, out of gratitude grows grace and appreciation
for life. Out of gratitude and love, praise and joy, you are only sowing the seeds to take your
bounty of even greater love and joy in your life and others' lives too. When you bless a situation,
people or a place, that blessing returns to you, sometimes multiplied by 10 or more ! So honey, this
is the way to be and live life.

Now my dear, we have much to talk about, because to be a healer means a lot more than just
healing people... The greatest gift you can give to people and the world is your own energy
manifested as love, it does not matter how you manifest that love, whether it is in sincere prayer, or
in an email note, or in casual conversation with someone. In fact, that is the most powerful
teaching that Jesus brought to us - to love and manifest love.

Yes, this is also - inspiration, meaning you have the potential to inspire people with your actions
and words and reap rewards. You shall reap what you sow. Yes, I know, you inspire because of the
person you are, but you see, here is the great irony of life - you are broke and struggle in life in
many levels and have got very little self esteem (you probably even wonder why should you even
receive compliments from other people, because to you it is easier to give then it is to receive).

You can inspire and teach others mainly by example... But I still have the feeling that you are only
blossoming. I see a lot of potential in you, its all blossoming now if you allow it to bloom very
slowly, with patience and kindness. Nurture who you are and be gentle with yourself. I still
wonder what's going to be like to see you in 5 years time with all these changes and wild things
happening in your life nearly every week. I think you are awakening from a deep sleep

I wish you love and joy.



16

WHY ME??

Some time ago, a dear friend of mine that is going through the awakening, asked me these
questions:

The images and dreams are relating to pretty powerful stuff, it's a bit overwhelming. Really!! I am
normally very quiet, I wouldn't class myself as being highly intelligent, and I have never really
paid much attention to all things spiritual. I live an honest life.
Can I ask you, what do you think of this?
I can see connections and understand what I read (dreams, signs, premonitions, automatic writing,
etc.).What I don't get is, why me?? I don't have great self believe, I am getting these highly
spiritual messages and feel so humbled but at the same time -Am I worth it?? Do you know what I
mean??

So I responded to her with the following message:

Beloved friend,


So, you think you have got to be "special" to see these things ? Why you ? Why me then ?? I did
pornography, worked as a prostitute, hated and cursed at God, and denied Him too many times...
Why me ?! Well, here is the thing my dear friend:
- No matter what I did, no matter what I said, God knows my heart, my core, my soul. No matter
what I do, He knows and has always known the little girl in me, that loved Him and used to find
love and safety in Him, the little girl that used to pray to Him and ask Him to keep me away from
the horrific nightmares I had as a child. He knows and remembers the little girl that looked for His
love and peace in a tormented family environment. God knows and still sees the little girl in me,
that deep inside still loves Him and craves His love.


This is His majestic beauty: whenever He reached out to me, He touched my heart in such a way,
that I have no choice but to very slowly accept Him and welcome Him into my life. Difficulties
and depression, mistakes and cruelty drawn me closer to Him, because my heart knew and have
always known that He would always stand by me, always without exception. People come and go,
but God is always there, always present.


Why me ? you ask. God awakens people like us because He wants to show to the World that
ANYONE can believe in Him, take a different path, that He loves all of us equally and
unconditionally. He wants to dispel the myths around age, colour, religion, groups, job choice, life
styles... He wants to show the power of His love and what it means, what love really means. So, do
you still feel unworthy of His love ? We are not specially chosen people, we are just normal people
that choose to believe, that is all. God has called me many, many times throughout the years, in
music, books, movies, random strangers and situations... They say that God is silent and distant
- those people must be deaf and blind because I know that He has been nudging me for years and
17

years and years... But He does that to all of us, no exceptions! He "speaks" to all of us, but who
cares to "listen" ? You see, I went down the science path, but even when I went down that road,
something in me could not help when I was in my classes of Human Anatomy and Physiology, I
could see His beauty and majestic mastery when the lecturer explained what is a cell, what is an
Atom, what is a nerve impulse, etc...
The more I studied science, the more I went down walking in the woods, the more I walked down
the beach even in the middle of a gale, I could not help, because I could feel His presence, I could
not deny it ! The seed He had planted in my heart many years ago would grow, something in me
would glow with joy, emotion, love, tenderness and utter gratitude for the sheer beauty and genius
of all creation.


Even crazier, even when I was making love (I mean, MAKING LOVE, not f*cking, there is a big
difference between both), I could not help, because I could understand the breath taking beauty of
melding with the opposite sex and become one body, one soul, one being in pure love and joy !
That was when I understood that Sex was indeed a divine gift created by a Divine Being... and yes,
Sex is sacred, not the slapping of flesh that we have used and abused throughout the years through
media and magazines and so on...


For too many years I thought I was not worthy of His love, I felt too dirty, too impure, too
unworthy of His goodness and even felt bad about the thought of asking Him for help (even when I
was in deep sh!t). But here is the thing, He has always known that I felt that way, but He kept
dropping signs and messages to let me know that it is ok, the door is open, and He has always been
willing to welcome me. But you see, I have free will. He cannot impose His will on me, He can
only show me a path, or show me some sort of invitation.

One day, three years ago, I got this impulse in me, this burning desire to write down my soul's
wish, to give voice to my soul and let it speak up its will, and yes, my soul's will is to believe and
have faith in Him, and stop hiding behind skepticism, fear and doubt. That was what I wrote in the
form of a beautiful poem (MY HEART IS YOUR CATEDRAL). Well, I found that poem again
somewhere among my old files three years after, and guess what ? The prophecy (my poem) has
been fulfilled !

I never cared about religion, I still do not care.

And here is another thing for you to bare in mind, Enlightenment is for all of us ! Not just for a
few, it is for all of us !





18

DOG BITE

This is a story about events that took place during 6 days in a row last year (2013), on the last week
of November. It was one of the most bizarre experiences I have had so far.

Monday
The sequence of strange events started with me feeling drawn to shuffle my Oracle cards, when
one particular card jumped out of the deck - the card said Meditation. I looked at the card and
found it strange because I was suppose to go to a meditation class the following day among friends.

Tuesday
I did my meditation class with the other two girls with whom I was suppose to meet up. At the end
of it, one of the girls playfully said: Oh, she is like a baby WOLF. all of us laughed. In the
evening that day, I got a phone call for a job interview, we booked the interview for Thursday
evening.

Wednesday
I was in my apartment, and felt strangely compelled to hold one of the books that I had stopped
reading halfway for a few months. The name of the book was Autobiography of a Yogi by
Paramahansa Yogananda. As I opened the book, a loud and clear thought popped in my head:
- Look at the cover. - So I did that and I realized that this book has the mark of dogs teeth on it,
it actually had a piece of the front cover torn and half chewed (I buy books in second hand, and
some of them dont look very presentable). I was staring at the cover in absolute utter shock! Later
that evening I was checking some of my email messages and I noticed that one of my friends had
the words - gloom puppy - written on her profile by now I think I was just pale white and
really starting to freak out!

Thursday
I went to work, as I arrived at my work place at 1 PM, my colleague came out of the room and
informed me that my boss (Helen) had just called her to say that she might not come in to work
because she just had been bitten by her dog! (this was caused by her new dog that she had gotten
weeks before from a shelter) Helens hand was covered with bandages and still bleeding.

In the evening I went to the other job interview (part time job offer), and when I sat down, the girl
that was interviewing me tells me that this was a job offer for a Dog Charity organization, the idea
is to raise funds to cover expenses for dogs in shelters that were previously abandoned and abused.
My chin dropped! I refused the job and walked away.

Friday
In the morning time, I felt drawn to play one of my favourite CDs, I hadnt played it for quite a
long time. As the CD was playing, one of the songs has a piece of the lyric that I had completely
forgotten about, it says:
un perro ingrato que te muerde la mano
(Translated in English an ungrateful dog that bites your hand)

19

Later in the afternoon I went to work. As I arrived, I noticed that Helen was in that day, her hand
was still covered in bandages and still swollen. So I was sitting at the reception area, that was
particularly quiet that day, and she decided to join me (which is unusual!)
Out of the blue, she told me this:

- When I arrived here this morning, the wall clock was on the floor.

Helen, there is loads of traffic and road works outside, things can fall off from the wall because
of vibration! I responded.

But the clock was on the floor and had stopped exactly at 9:25 That was the exact time that I
picked my son this morning from the airport! I really dont like when things start falling like that!

Helen, I am getting very confused here, what exactly are you trying to say ?!

The last time things started falling like that was when one of my family members passed away
years ago: I had arrived home, and the wall radiator looked like was torn off from the wall!
Another time, I was looking at a family picture frame that was on the table, and without me or
anyone touching it, I saw the frame being slammed against the wall right before my eyes! I am
really scared I really dont want anything to happen to my son!

- Ok Helen, I think its time for me to open up and tell you about the strange awkward things that
have been happening in the past 5 days. I know that I have never ever told you about that I have
strange experiences and you dont really know what are my beliefs. In the past 5 days, I have been
seeing constant references to dogs, and they are not very good references, it feels almost like some
kinda warning. It feels like as the days are passing the intensity and urgency of the message is
building up, I dont know what does this mean, but I think that our spiritual messengers and guides
are trying to get our attention and they are trying to warn you about something very important! And
the message is FOR YOU Helen!!

Helen sat very still, like a blue eyed marble statue, staring at me very attentively. I proceeded:

- Helen, you can always try to do some automatic writing or ask your guides to give you the
message in a very clear and straight forward way that you can understand! once I said this, a
client came in through the door, and Helen seemed to had lost complete interest in what I was
talking about. For a moment I felt a bit foolish to tell her about all these things, so I just tried to
forget all about it and pretend that it never happened!

Monday morning came, and I was standing in front of the door of my work place, when my boss
Helen arrived and opened the door for me with a weird look in her eyes. As soon as she shut the
door behind us, she said:

- You are not going to believe what happened to me during the weekend.

- Oh dear, I hope its good news! I said, trembling inside, hoping for the best.
20


- No, not good news! I had this builder guy that I was recommended to get to fix some things in
the house whilst I was away working last week. When I met the guy I remember to had said to him
oh I trust you like a son of mine, you seem such a nice decent guy. Well, turns out that my
diamond bracelet is GONE!! Yes, that is right! GONE! And the guy, GONE ASWELL !!

I was stirring my morning coffee whilst listening to this story, Helen was still very upset! Then, my
brain went into reboot mode, and so I tried to explain to Helen the clues that I had seen the week
before, as if looking at the many pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and putting them together to view the
full picture.

I told her:
- Helen, last week, I felt drawn to listen to a song that is about an ungrateful dog that bites
someones hand. Then, the dog that you had brought home from the Dog Charity shelter was the
one that did bite your hand, or in other words, the one that betrayed your trust! Then, you said that
the wall clock here in our work place had fallen on the floor and it had stopped working at exactly
9:25, the same time you had picked your son from the airport, you also said to the builder guy
that you trusted him like a son. So in other words, the guy that you brought home and you trusted
and considered like a son was the one that betrayed your trust!! He aint a dog, he is a wolf! The
front cover of the book about the Yogis life that achieved Christ consciousness and enlightenment,
had the portrait of the man on it, the side that would correspond to his left hand was the one that
was torn and ripped off by an ungrateful dog!
(Helen had her left hand bitten).

She looked down for a while and then I said to her:

Look at the bright side, it is better to lose a diamond bracelet then losing your own son! You can
always replace a bracelet, you can never replace a son.


After retelling this story here, I realize I still feel guilty to this day, I feel that I could had done
more somehow


P.S.: As I was just finishing up typing this story, a friend of mine calls me and tells me that she has
started working as a volunteer at the SPCA and that she is bonding with some of the dogs in the
shelter. I gave her the idea to maybe using her healing skills on the animals, perhaps she could start
doing Reiki on some of the most uneasy animals, with health issues, since energy healing helps
animals to settle down and soothes their pain

Just a coincidence or meant to be ? The mystery synchronicities continue ;)




21

FREE TICKET DILEMMA


OK, so now, lets talk about the craziness from Friday night.

So, two weeks ago, on a Friday I was walking from work to my flat, when I bumped into a guy that
seemed kinda lost... He was asking for a priest !! I was really surprised! A priest ?? Why the heck
do you need a priest ?? He said that he was suppose to meet up with his sister that has
schizophrenia, but something happened ! Something went wrong ! And now, he was penniless and
unable to get a ticket to go back to his town! The priest was an idea since he did not know who else
to ask for help (I thought to myself - "priests are freaking useless, and I don't think that they would
help you anyway" - ...but that is my viewpoint!). Strange story overall, but he seemed to be in
distress. So I got this mad thought in my head - to just accompany the guy to the Bus Station, buy
him a ticket (don't give him any money, but get him the ticket instead!! ) and that's it ! And that's
what I did. He asked for my phone number and said to me that he would pay me back, and
thanked me a million times, I told him that there was no need to thank me, but it would be a great
idea to learn from this experience and don't do the same mistake again!!... Of course I never
believed that he would pay me back, besides I was not concerned about that at all, because I very
quickly during the following week earned the cash that I had spent on his ticket in tips alone !! No
joke!

And that was what happened two weeks ago !!

Two weeks after this event, also on a Friday night, I was walking back to my apartment, after
work, and there was a moment when I felt strangely drawn to just take a different street, its a
parallel street that gets me to the exact same road to my apartment, and I only used that little street
once or twice years ago. But strangely, I just felt drawn to take that street that day instead. Now, as
I did this, the name "Michael" kept popping in my head very persistently (I hate when that
happens, it freaks me out! )
All of a sudden, out of the blue, a guy interrupted my walk and asked me if I was interested in
going to a gig !! I am serious !! Just like that !! I laughed uncontrollably at first, and then asked
him:
" - Is this a prank, or are you serious?! Why would you give a free ticket to a stranger?!" - he said:
" - My friend said he couldn't make it on the last minute."
Then after considering it, I asked him:
" - What is the gig and what time does it start ?" He replied:
" - It's a stand up comedy and starts in about 20 minutes! You ask many questions, it is a free
ticket!"
I said to him:
" - Ok, let's do this, let's go!" - Then he stretched his hand to shake mine to introduce himself:
" - By the way, my name is Michael, what's yours?"
By now I wanted to burst out laughing hysterically but had to control myself !!
So we went to the gig and I told him that 5 years before I had a similar situation happening to me,
my companion couldn't make it to the Def Leppard concert on the very last minute ! So we finished
the night with a couple of drinks, he wanted to kiss me goodnight, but I made very clear that "I am
22

not interested in sex or kissing."
So I walked back to my apartment, pretty late... yeah... life is very strange!

So I will make the "synchronicities" / "coincidences" more obvious now,

Notice this:
- both guys appeared on Friday after I finished work;
- both guys were talking about tickets;
- both guys were experiencing the FREE ticket dilemma (ah ah!)

What do I see and conclude of these experiences?
These experiences when put together make perfect sense, because when I gave the Bus ticket to the
first guy two weeks before, I knew in my gut that he would never pay me back, but I also believe
that there is the law of cause and effect in the Universe. I knew that Universe would give back,
maybe in a few months, or years, or in a few life times later, but I know that the Universe bounces
back everything you give! So, when I met the guy called Michael, two weeks after also on a Friday
night, with the same strange "free ticket" situation (to see a stand up comedy gig), I knew
immediately what was this about - this is the magic of the Universe at work !!
























23

THE SUN

Because of my own experience, I feel that I have to share these words: see faith as a window with
thick blinds or curtains. When you make the choice of opening those blinds/curtains, you will let
the Sun's rays pouring into your surrounding and touch you. Colours come to life and everything
that looked dark and obscure is lit by this massive beam of the Sun's light, and now all is brilliant
and vibrant. What looked hopeless and too difficult to distinguish in the darkness, is now just some
clutter that when illumined by the Sun, you can truly see what do you want to do out of it. Now
that is illuminated by the Sun's glorious Light, you can truly see clearly what is all this clutter
about, and then, in the warmth of the Sun's embrace, you will slowly clear it.
What am I trying to say here ? I tried very hard to make sense of my clutter in the room of my soul
on my own, I could indeed use a tiny lantern, but still, I really was tripping all the time, there was
just too much stored up in that tiny room, and my own lantern was not much help.
And so, that quiet still voice kept calling me in the quietness and stillness of the night of my soul.
That message and call many times came as a feeling, a longing to reach out, to ask for help. So one
day I opened a tiny little bit of that dusty old curtain, and a tiny shaft of brilliant light came. I was
terrified... I thought that I was not worthy of this brilliance, this gentleness and warmth, this
beauty. Fear is indeed the most debilitating and the greatest illusion of all.
One day I dared to open just a little further that old thick dusty curtain, and allow myself to be
embraced by that Light. I craved it so badly, my longing for its familiar energy overpowered my
dread. And so, I sat in silence, and quietly, opened my heart and asked for help, because for the
first time, I knew, that I could not make it on my own. But this time, I asked the Light to be ever
present in my life, no matter what, I asked to guide me and help me now, at the present moment
and always. That's it. That was when slowly things started to change dramatically. I was willing to
give in, to give in my stubborn ways, because now I was ready to admit that alone I can't make it.
Fear and pain were conquered and transformed by the rays of that Sun, so powerful, and yet, so
gentle, kind and noble. Things that I could not forgive because I could not understand, in the Light
of the mighty gentle Sun, were no longer incomprehensible and detestable. Slowly, very slowly, I
started to give in and trust more and more. One day, the mighty Sun showed me that I am not a
spec of dust or clutter, I am part of the Sun Itself, I am a tiny ray of Its beautiful Light. Then I
understood, that there was no reason to fear and hide behind thick heavy dusty curtains anymore.
And so, what can I tell you more about this experience ? Once I realized the power and immense
beauty of this experience, once I realized that because we have free will, we have to be willing to
receive the Sun's Light, or shall I say, God's Love.

May these words inspire you and others in your and their darkest hour.






24

THE MOON

Oh Moon
Shining so bright
May your light
Be my delight
In the late hours on this noon.

Oh Moon,
Bold in might
Tides bend without a fight
And my heart to you surrenders
to your glorious beauty!
Breathlessly, I sigh!




























25

THEY ONLY FLOWER WHEN THEY ARE HAPPY

[When I can be me, and paint and do other things like I used to, my self esteem will return. When
that happens, I might feel strong enough and good enough to start a meaningful relationship again.]

how many of us feel this way ??

Ok, so when I was with my ex partner, thankfully he was a deeply intelligent man, and he taught
me many, many things (some good, some bad!). One of the things he once said and that shall
remain engraved in my memory for many years was the following conversation, while we strolled
along woodland in late Spring:

" - Did you know that shrubs, trees and bushes only flower when they are happy ?" - he said, in a
dreamlike tone and mood. I stared at him perplexed and asked him:
" - What do you mean... ?"

He turned around and said:

" - Flowers are the sexual organs in plants, its through them plants reproduce. There is a law in
Mother Nature's kingdom - when a plant is not happy and feels safe or lacks the energy to blossom,
it will not waste its precious energy producing flowers, because it is too concerned just trying to
survive another day. Trees sometimes may not bloom in really bad years or bare any fruit. But they
will quietly keep their strength and energy in the hopes that the following year they will be given
better conditions that will make them feel safe and happy, and then, only then, they will blossom in
all their majestic colours and perfume!"

I stared at him gobsmacked and muttered the words:

" - People can be painfully arrogant, if only we looked at Nature more often and tried to understand
Her, instead of thinking that we are oh so superior and better and evolved... Oh my, oh wow! That
is astounding! You know, we are educated to see Nature as a thing, outside of ourselves. Maybe,
we still have got a lot to learn after all."











26

I WANT TO LIVE !

This story is an email conversation between me and my dear friend Joe. Because of its impact and
deeply powerful message, I wish to share it with you, in the hopes this might give you the strength
and courage you need. Many of you might come across a parent, sister, cousin or friend that is
struggling with this destructive disease. I am posting this story because I also have the cancer gene
within me, and two years ago I was diagnosed with cysts. Although the cysts are not aggressive,
they were the consequence of something much deeper within me that manifested as disease in my
body.
NOTE: If you suffer from any illness you should always consult your doctor, energy healing and
other alternative therapies ARE NOT SUPERIOR OR A REPLACEMENT TO ORTHODOX
MEDICINE! Alternative therapies or complementary therapies ARE MEANT TO BE DONE
SIDE BY SIDE WITH YOUR MEDICAL TREAMENT!

Here is the email Joe sent to me:

"About 4 years ago my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer that was advanced and inoperable.
The doctors told him they could try chemotherapy to reduce the tumour, but they told him it was a
terminal situation and gave him 2 to 3 years life expectancy, 21 months ago he was having serious
problems, and a doctor told him it was hopeless and that he should just go home to prepare for
death. They said he had no more than two weeks left. He refused to accept that, and began getting
better. He was able to have a procedure done that helped his kidneys function better, and he got
better and better. A few months ago he was suddenly WAY WAY better, and you honest to god
could not tell he had anything wrong with him. He told everyone he felt completely healed and
strong again, and we were all very interested to see what his next check up would show. When he
went to the doctors again they were astounded. ... he had no sign of any cancer at all.
His blood work was completely normal. We were all ecstatic because the tests proved what he was
saying and feeling.
The doctors were extremely skeptical and gave him some shots and told him they didn't think it
was possible for him to beat this. Very soon after that visit he started feeling weak and all the
symptoms came back again. The past couple weeks were extremely bad for him and we actually
thought he might not make it. True to form though... he has rallied again and is getting stronger and
stronger. He's talking about doing some hiking and going fishing soon now. So I don't know what
to think.... he does great, then really bad. Back and forth, back and forth. It seems like every time
he is really doing great the doctors convince him he's really sick again. So like I said.... I don't
know what
to think. "

..

My email message reply to Joes:

"This is what I think about the yo-yo effect on your dad's health: people are trying to take away is
self power, by making him believe that HE SHOULD BE SICK, but then, sooner or later he sways
27

back and goes:
- W T F !! Why should I be sick ?? I WANT TO LIVE! I WANT to do this and that !! I WANT! -
and he BELIEVES !!

The human body is made up of energy. That is what we are in fact, more than 90 per cent of our
bodies are empty space.

What is disease ?
Disease is not the absence of health, disease is the physical manifestation of our worries,
negativity, choices and energy.
Think of a PLACEBO for a moment. A placebo supposedly works in a very interesting way, the
person that takes the "fake tablet" believes that in this tiny tablet there is the power to heal him/her
or make him/her feel better/relieve pain. The tiny tablet has no ingredient that is proven
scientifically in the labs that it has any agents on its own that are going to help this particular
problem. It is the power of "BELIEVING" that gives power not to the tablet itself, but to the person
herself/himself. They believe that this tiny tablet will make them feel better!

..

Joes reply:

"I actually have another story for you. I shared this one with my dad a long time ago, and like you
said... it did give him hope when he seemed really hopeless, and it might have played into his
remarkable recovery for that time period. I don't know this person personally, but she is a good
friend and neighbour of one of my best friends. She was diagnosed with inoperable and incurable
cancer, and it had progressed rapidly. She was put on high doses of drugs for pain, and told she had
only weeks to live. She became bed ridden and was wasting away in the hospital.... expected to die
in a short time. She was only in her thirties at the time, and still very much full of life and dreams.
Barely able to even stand on her own, she refused the treatment and pain medication and
discharged herself from the hospital. She told the doctors:
- I might die on my own, but I KNOW I will die soon listening to you!

She went home and her friends and family fed her a totally clean diet. (I might be able to find out
exactly what she ate) She began meditation and had faith that anything was possible. She knew this
was her only hope because all else had failed. Instead of getting weaker by the day like in the
hospital, she got a little stronger each day. She stayed on a very strict vegetarian diet with all
organic fruits and vegetables. Long story short, she completely reversed the cancer - even from that
advanced stage, she reversed it and had a full recovery. That was 14 years ago now, and she is
healthy, active, and cancer free. The doctors said it was a complete miracle, and not possible to
come back from such an advanced stage. Yet she did. "



My email message reply to Joes:

28

Last year I came across a book written by a lady called Anita Moorjani, called "Dying to be me".
In that book Anita tells us of her astonishing recovery from fatal aggressive cancer, and how that
astounded the medical team, and how they tried really hard to convince her that such astounding
recovery was not possible. Yes, she recovered because she refused to give in and give up the fight,
she chose to live and BELIEVE and beat it. And she succeeded. Funny enough, in her book, Anita
says that she tried many types of different diets, including strict vegetarian and vegan, and still, that
alone, was not helping at all!!
So, what am I trying to say here ?? I will try to explain as best as I can.

The more people join together and talk about these amazing experiences, the more other people
will join in and start being influenced, even if only in a subconscious level they start believing in
this, believe that within themselves lies a great power, a power that is triggered by BELIEVING IN
IT, a power that is always there within us all, it only remains dormant. Remember the words - "the
more you believe, the more you will see". Still doesn't make sense, does it ?! You may think of
yourself as a tiny droplet of water, apparently insignificant when falling in the big colossal ocean,
and you may think:

" - What impact would this tiny droplet have within that ocean after all? Why even bother telling
others about this ?! Its just one successful case among billions that went wrong! "

BUT, if many droplets join, they will fill up a cup, if more join in, soon, a steady stream shall
sprout, and all streams in the end flow into an ocean, and one day, that mighty ocean will be
conquered !

I will resume this story the same way as I started - when you believe that when you set up your
mind to believe that anything is possible, as long as you use your mind, your heart and your
deepest and truest feelings of your soul altogether as ONE MIGHTY FORCE focused on one
particular task... OH BOY, you really have no clue the power within each one of us has !!
The power within us is so great, that if tomorrow we all experienced it for 24 hours worldwide, this
flaming intense divine love that is within us, for 24 hours the world would experience great love
and peace, great harmony and healing.









29

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

Remember, love does not restrict or suffocate another person, love is not controlling or
manipulative, love is Truth. If there are lies and mistrust, than it is not love. Love gives and expects
nothing in return. True love is selfless and unconditional. In all my relationships there were
problems... But even when every single one of them went wrong, I found out that I learned so
much, and thanks to those mistakes I became who I am today. I became more mellow, experienced
and just because there were heart breaks throughout my existence, that did not stop me from being
kind, generous and keep believing in the good inside my heart. My heart break experiences taught
me compassion and acceptance; they taught me the very fragile nature of human beings and their
beauty with all their flaws. Love allows us to grow and expand beyond the limits of what we know.

But the love from an guardian angel is by far the most exquisite. It is there, it is constant, ever
flowing. It is their very nature, they can't help it. No matter how many stupid annoying things I say
or do, he is still there, overflowing with love and compassion, always willing to offer comfort and
help. I wonder for how many life times we have known each other, but I know he knows me inside
out. And still, he sees my light and beauty even when I cannot see none of those in myself (hey,
even I have bad and very depressed days aswell). He doesn't care what I look like, if I am drunk, if
I talk too much or swear, kick and scream ! His love is there, unchanged. How can I not love him
back, how can I not feel impressed and overwhelmed at times or even confused ? Yes, angels are
different from humans because they never lost the ability to see others inside out, they never lived
in a physical world where all seems to be separate. Angels know that we are all part of the same
family, a very big family. Even you, are part of this family.

So yesterday I was just reading something interesting and very thought provoking. We live in a
world in which we have the illusion that we are all separate. So, the fact that no one "cares" about
anybody but themselves is fruit of living in an illusory world. All and everything is energy, all and
everything is alive and has its own vibration. Plants are energy, people are energy, oceans are
energy, the Earth itself is energy, stars and galaxies are energy. Even a rock has its own energy.
Angels are perceived by some as bright energy spheres and so do people and animals. God / Source
is energy and everything in the Universe is energy. Intentions, thoughts and will power set those
energies in motion.

Now comes the amazing part. If all and everything is energy, we could only experience life fully
on earth and have free will and free choice because there are polarities (good bad, cold hot, etc).
So, that means that negative entities serve a purpose, they do have a job in the world, and in many
cases, the greater good of a soul comes out of experiencing both sides. Sometimes as a life lesson
(this is the reason why we are here, to learn! ), we need to experience negativity and difficulty to
achieve realisation / enlightment. In some cases, nasty diseases or traumatic accidents and events
could not be avoided by Archangels or even God because the souls' contract included going
through those events. To intercede and stop those events from happening would be trampling the
soul's free will. So, it is kinda strange to say this, but negative entities play a fundamental role in
this dimension, and sometimes because of them, souls can experience a wide range of
events and can evolve. Souls can break the negative vicious circle of karma by paying back with
love and forgiveness instead of hatred and fear. Negative entities being also energy, are also part of
30

the great Universal family soup in which we all are, so I dare to say that we are all nothing else but
just a big family. How freaking amazing is that ? If tomorrow you get out in the morning for a walk
and start seeing everything and everyone around you as family: trees, people, foxes, insects, the
planet, the rivers, negative entities, angels and archangels, galaxies... Wow ! This is mad, we are
nothing else but energy balls floating. So that means that all there is, IS ENERGY! God / Source is
energy, so WE ARE ALL ONE.

Don't worry, it also took me a while to accept and see my own guardian angel as a family member,
even though they have never lived as humans, to still consider them and love them as a very large
family. I bet my guardian is smiling.

This is what I interpret: He (angel), will always love you and protect you. Even though no one will
see you as part of the unity/ family/ oneness, he will always see you as someone worth protecting.
He recognizes and acknowledges your uniqueness. His protection and love for you goes beyond
family ties, in other words, although you are different, to him he does not make a difference
because his love and protection are yours, all yours. So, you are a rare gem stone, and he has an eye
for very precious and rare gem stones. He shall keep you, although you are still in a raw state, he
will watch the rare gem stone being polished throughout time and space. You see, it is very
impressive because, diamonds and gemstones are quite rough and have got very little shine and
obvious beauty when they are first extracted from the mine. But you see, angels spot potential and
uniqueness from miles away. He knows and can see the final product, he knows and can see what
this beautiful diamond / gem stone is gonna look like once is cut in a certain way, polished and
perfected. It actually is a fascinating job. Diamonds have got to be cut in a certain way (usually
very complex 3D geometric shapes ) so that when light shines on them, they spark very brilliantly.
Also, many diamonds have got their little impurities within them, so when they are cut and
polished, their impurities have got to be removed so that the light can shine on them without
obstacles interfering / blocking the light rays.
But hey... Here comes the fascinating bit... are you ready ?

A diamond, no matter how well polished and refined, can only shine when light hits it. A diamond
does not possess a light of its own. A diamond possess great, enormous potential and value non the
less, but... would you get a diamond or even bother looking at them if you lived in a pitch black
world ? Of course not !
I dare to say (I do not know for sure, this is just me and my personal theory), that over time, you
will shine your angel's light on others. It is not your angel who polishes you, refines you and cuts
you, it will be Life and its difficulties and lessons that will play that part. But do not worry,
remember your Guardian Angel will always see your beauty and full potential. His light will
always shine on you. By "light" I mean, his love, his protection, his care, his undivided attention,
his guidance, his peace, his wisdom and knowledge and much more. He will always hold his
beautiful gem stone in his hands, always. Let's think about this for a minute: let's see Archangels as
a ray of light that comes from the Source. That is in fact the best way I can compare Archangels to,
they are individual rays of light, each one is very unique, they all originate from the same exact
place (God), but their vibration, colour and properties are unique. Just the same
way you get many types of light (UV Light, Infrared, black lights, Xrays, gamma rays... etc), you
get many different and very unique Archangels. When an Archangel is given the job to protect and
31

guide, usually, they will do their best to watch over those gemstone and keep one eye on them.
What happens over time ?

So, Archangels watch over other angels, right ? They project their "beam of light" on other angels,
and by projecting it, that light gets filtered. What I am trying to illustrate is, that all of us have the
"light" from our Creator shining on us and through us uninterruptedly, that light is filtered by our
angels throughout our entire existence, although we might not be aware of it or completely dismiss
/ ignore it.
Perhaps, angels wish to project an increasing amount of less filtered light once that gemstone (us)
has been polished to a certain level. The more polished and refined a gemstone is, the more it will
project and amplify the light that is projected onto it. This gemstone will spread, shine and scatter
this ray of light (from Source - Archangel - Guardian Angel ) onto other gemstones (people),
causing them to awaken. Does that make sense ? It is like, once a beam of light shines on a
beautiful diamond, that single beam of light, after crossing the diamond's walls, spreads and
showers onto others like a colourful and sparkling rain. And yes, all of us ARE PRECIOUS GEM
STONES ! No exceptions ! Even the beggar and drug addict down the road ARE GEM STONES
TOO! The true life purpose of every single human being on Earth is to manifest the light of the
Creator this is what they call Heaven on Earth. When other people see your light shining
through, they get a sense of what is it like to be the walking portrait of love, compassion, kindness
manifested onto the physical world. Through the fully polished and refined diamond without a
single trace of impurities left in it, other gemstones (people) will witness the full manifestation of
the light of the Creator, they will see and experience this in the presence of a fully refined polished
diamond (this description would apply to someone that manifests the full Christ consciousness,
without any ego/negativity left. This is not reserved for special people, all of us hold the
potential to manifest the Christ consciousness without exceptions, but most of us are sleep walking
in the dream of separation).

I sometimes am sitting here in front of the keyboard writing down these thoughts and somehow it
fascinates me, I wonder sometimes why are these thoughts coming to my mind...

Sometimes I feel like... we are in a big kindergarten, and in fact, we are all just kids. No matter
how physically old we may appear, our souls are like little kids. Somehow I feel like Angels are
like the babysitters and nannies looking after us, and guiding, allowing us to make our mistakes
and falls, and lovingly comforting and helping. But many of us have turned into rebellious bullies
that refuse their help even when they offer it
(remember, we have free will, they will not interfere with it! ). Hey, every kindergarten has its
bullies !! But this only gets even more interesting when looked from this perspective. I actually
dare to think that Angels are the real teachers. Without them, we would just be F*CKED !
Evolving and moving forward, to have a perception of life and purpose actually involves and
requires their assistance. To reach spiritual enlightment certainly involves their assistance. How
strange that most of us are sleep walking spiritually. How sad that most of us do not even bother
believing in the soul, angels and many other things. No wonder we are so blocked, no wonder we
are so stuck in this vicious circle pattern of not giving a damn about anybody because of our
deceitful way of thinking - thinking that we are all separate, when in fact, we are one, we are all
one. How sad and offensive that we see angels as pink and fluffy decorative amulets that we only
32

remember
in Christmas... when we are decorating the Christmas trees !!!

I try to follow my hearts voice, but it is my choice. And yes, I have plenty of help and assistance.
But I can no longer deny that my path is not sleep walking 24/7 for 365 days a year. I know in my
heart and soul that I was put here for a very good reason. I know in my heart and soul that the gifts
I possess, my open mind, the beautiful warmth and peace I feel in my heart and the comfort that
strangers look from me in random times in my life were not a coincidence. It is not possible that I
am here for the first time. I know in my gut I have been here probably many times before. So, I
have been here and been polished and refined like a little gem stone. I sometimes shine the light
that is projected and sprinkle it on others (I do not always succeed). But I still have a long road
ahead of me. My own refinement, cutting and polishing is not done yet ... it does not matter, it has
been a beautiful experience non the less. I am glad and feel privileged to
be here among you. Life for me is only starting to make sense now. In the past 6 months everything
I went through in this life time is starting to make perfect sense. It has been perfectly orchestrated.

And like Marlin Monroe said in one of her all time Hollywood classics - Diamonds Are Forever !






















33

I MADE IT, YOU CAN TOO!

I was abused as a young girl. I went through humiliation and bulling in school. I had some bad
relationships and been out there with some odd people. I turned into a loner for many years and
was seeking what was the meaning of being alive. I just did not fit in. But I tried very hard to stay
true and honest to my heart, my inner guidance. My heart has always saved me. When I thought I
was worthless my heart told me to look within and see my beauty. When I thought I was all wrong
for this world, my heart told me to be strong and believe in my dreams. When I lost my hope, my
heart showed me the beauty of the world around me. One day, when I was crying my heart told me:
"You have got everything to be happy." - at first, I ignored it. Then came a time when I decided to
believe that I deserved better. So I followed my heart. When I followed my heart, my life started to
change, change a lot ! I can barely recognize the teen I was and the woman I am now. Now I smile,
I have hope and dreams, and yes, I am still a kid at heart, but after so many years of blindness and
despise towards myself, after so many years of letting people trample me, use me and discart me,
after so many years of despising people, I decided to quit being the victim and take control of my
life.

Do not ever underestimate the power of your will. Your will is the most powerful force. If you
desire death and destruction, death and destruction will come your way. But I ask you to silence
your mind and all random thoughts, just quiet the mind. When you do so, ask your heart: what do
you dearly wish more than anything ? I bet your heart will whisper - "love, peace and healing".
You cannot find love outside of you, no one will ever value you or respect you if you have got no
self love and self respect for your own self ! Love yourself dearly with all your might, learn to see
your beauty (inner and outer beauty).
When you value yourself and think of yourself as deserving of respect and see yourself as a highly
intelligent and valuable human being, you will take sh!t from no one, no one will trample you
because you will not allow it, because your heart will shout:

"I deserve to live, I deserve better because I am a valuable and very special human being! No one
else in the whole world is like me BECAUSE I AM UNIQUE !!"

You may think: "if I can't find love outside of myself, then love doesn't exist and is a
figment of my imagination."

Well, I found love inside of myself after many years of rape, beating, screaming and bulling, I am
still here, I survived it all because I found love within my own heart. If love was a figment of my
imagination, I should had disappeared from the map 20 years ago. Even animals know love, and
they are animals! Like I said to you, hush your mind and listen to your heart.

Do you know what do I do now ? Now I look back at those years of pain and misery and I thank
my aggressors and bullies, now I am grateful to them. Now I found the courage to look at them and
feel compassion for them, now I forgive them, but only now I have the courage and understanding
to look back and do not feel hatred for those people. Now I look at my aggressors and I want to
thank them, because of them, I am who I am today. I became a stronger person, wise and willing to
help others who are going through the horrific things I went through when I was a young kid.
34


Because of my life experience, I now can help others and help them understand and overcome their
pain. If love and self respect did not exist, I would not be here today. I am here today, and I stand
tall and strong because of what I went through. I am the living proof that love and hope exist, I am
the living proof that we have free will, and that our will power is tremendously powerful. Believe
in your heart's voice and you will survive. Believe in your suicidal thoughts, and you won't make it.




































35

SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF THE SAME GOD

I feel kinda sad, because the toughest thing in life is to be a victim of other people's cruelty and still
find in your heart the strength to forgive those who have done us wrong.

There is so much bitterness and resentment after so many years of discrimination and verbal abuse.
I sometimes think we have become used to the idea that we should only forgive when the offender
apologises... ?! Really ??

If a burglar takes my money and jewellery, why should I wait for him to apologise to me in order
to forgive him ? We were taught that hatred should be paid back with hatred and revenge. We think
that justice is done in court rooms we have long forgotten the true meaning of justice.
To quote from the Peaceful Warrior film:
The ones who are hardest to love are usually the ones who need it the most. I read once
somewhere a statement by a serial killer : The only cure for crime is love; All else is just more
crime. Buddha could have said that

This breaks my heart, why aren't we being taught in school as small children to understand and
forgive each other and accept our uniqueness and colour / religious differences, why are we all
playing the game:

" - If you do not apologise to me first, I ain't forgiving you. If you are different, I shall hate you."

My sister was a Catholic nun for 8 years, and even while she was at convent for those 8 painful
years, she was hated and despised by the other nuns simply because she thinks differently, she saw
that what they taught and what they did were two completely different things! Yesterday I called
home and my dad and sister live under the same roof, they can't stand each other, it is like a battle
field all the time. I feel very sad, they are still throwing at each other pathetic arguments about
things that happened 15 years ago! For what ? Aren't we all one spirit, one soul, one mind, one
body, one with God, one with all and everything ?? Why keep living in this illusion of being
different, separate, detached from each other, this "rat race" philosophy that we have to be better,
fitter and stronger than A, B or C individuals ? So, are we reducing Life to some sort of pathetic
"competition"? But what exactly are we all competing for ? Aren't we all gonna shed
away these physical bodies in a few earth years anyway ? Aren't we all the daughters and sons of
the same God ? We are just old souls wearing flesh, we have all been in this world many times
before.


I am only now starting to realize the wonderful "Teacher" I have:


Some time ago, I was in work when the first client appears and the first personal question he asks
when he meets me is " - Where are you from?"
I asked him:
" - Is that really relevant?" and he replied:
36

" - Of course, it is very important to me!"
So I refused to tell him my nationality and he left the shop!

So, lets put it this way - if I had the flu and got in the ER in Hospital, should I tell the nurse and
doctors to f*ck off if I do not like their nationality ? If tomorrow I am dying and the only
compatible liver donor available is from a black and gay person, shall I turn it down ? What the
heck!!

I know in my heart that God is a wonderful teacher, He was shows us He loves everyone the same
way, He has no favourites, it was the equivalent of telling me loud and clear:
- Do not judge people for their colour, nationality, preferences or ideas, you are one with all of
them, love them as you love yourself, for when you cause harm to another person, you are only
causing harm to your own self, but when you love one another you are celebrating and praising
Creation and the Creator Himself.




























37

HOPE IS AROUND THE CORNER

Dear all,

Yesterday I was walking to work, and as my spirituality grow and as I learn to trust my gut/heart
and learn new things along the way, I have started to look at things on a different light.
I live in a big city, but not just any concrete jungle, it is also a busy capital! As I was strolling
along one of the many bridges over the city canals, I was thinking:

" - I am amazed by the fact that so many things I thought to be fake and human imagination are
actually true (animals that have feelings and extraordinary intelligence, the American Indian's
knowledge of Mother Nature, the Yogis and their immense and honourable wisdom, the awareness
of the presence of God in all and everything and how close He is if only we pay attention, the
presence of angels willing to help and assist us throughout our human existence, etc). I am amazed
at the fact that for so many years I had locked myself living in a world of fantasy created by myself
to be able to cope with my darkness and misery in life. I am amazed at how the things that I have
learned in the last 3 months are very real things and how sad it is that I have ignored them or
dismissed them as fantasy or imagination. I am so glad that I am slowly starting to acknowledge all
these wonderful and very real things".

And just as I was preparing to cross the road, something in me told me to look to my right side and
there I saw a gigantic poster on a building with the words:

"About Time" - and as I finished reading these words, I did burst into nearly uncontrollable
laughter and thought to myself:
" - Yeah... You are probably right! It is ABOUT TIME to get out of the spiritual closet..."

A few minutes later, while rock music was blasting out of my MP3 player, for some reason, in the
greyness of the tall buildings of this jungle against the dullness of the grey sky and the noise of the
mad traffic on my left hand side, I looked at my right side, for no particular reason, I noticed a
stunningly beautiful, yet so simple wild weed with a fragile bright pink flower growing on the busy
pathway. Yet, for some reason I could just not dismiss the mental image that that beautiful wild
flower left imprinted in my mind, it was growing against the lifeless dull grey. Then later that day
it came to me, the thought hit me like a brick:

" - A message of hope. There is still hope." - and now I am in a state of deep thinking wandering,
submerged in the following thought:

" - Perhaps, in so many ways, the Universe wants to show us that there is hope, there is always a
light in the darkness, there is always a splash of colour, something beautiful in a sea of darkness.
Maybe its a reminder for us that no matter how difficult our lives are, He is here with us."

Later, it was now late in the evening, I was walking back home, once again my head had drifted
into what had happened at work, worrying with basic things like what to cook for dinner and my
38

odd pain on my lower back. I was walking back that same exact bridge over the city canal heading
my way home, when I saw a police car on the side of the road, while 4 cops had their attention on
something that I could not spot clearly. I still had my MP3 player blasting nice and loud in my ears
playing psychedelic trance! As I pass by the patrol car I discover what was the commotion all
about - there was a young guy on my right hand side ready to jump off the bridge while 4 cops
were trying to persuade him not to, I am guessing this very young guy was feeling depressed,
down, confused, lost. The traffic light had now gone green for traffic so I was stuck and I had no
choice but to wait to cross the road. Just before the lights went red for the traffic, the young guy
stood up, stretched out his arms and reached out for the 4 cops to help him out of that place. I was
now crossing the road on my way to a narrow street and lost sight of the bridge and police men
behind me.

Once again, I thought that maybe I was being shown Hope, Light, Inspiration, Healing and Love in
the darkest places.

So, as my intuition and faith grow, I am starting to see that yes, we are a bit of a mess in this World
right now, but it is not too late, we always have a choice.

























39

THE MANY MANIFESTATIONS OF HEALING IN LIFE

This story is excerpt of a letter sent to a dear friend of mine.
It is not meant to be offensive towards anyone's beliefs, simply is a honest open letter, my personal
view, a brief description of my own personal experience that I wish to share. I consider myself very
open minded and respectful of the many and diverse people's beliefs and ideas. I write these words
only to inspire people, never to rub on their face that what I believe is better or worse.

"Dear friend,
I think it is my duty to clarify what I meant when I used the word "heal" previously. "Healing" can
take place in many diverse ways, so when I referred that I ask God to help me to bring "healing" to
all in need whose Life I have touched throughout my existence, I am simply asking for help to
bring to these people the healing of their hearts that have gone so cold and numb with rage,
violence, depression and hopelessness.

The "healing" may manifest itself as:

- 'Mommy, I love you' - the beautiful and moving words spoken by your 6 year old daughter after
your busy tiring long day at work, when she holds you and looks at you with her big mellow brown
eyes and a heart melting innocent smile;

- the wind blowing fragrances that awaken in you beautiful memories long forgotten;

- the 'accidental' song, movie, documentary, article that we come across just when we needed it
most, that make us shed tears of joy and delight and appreciate Life in our darkest moments;

I am not asking to possess the ability to cure HIV or cancer (although I believe that highly
spiritually evolved people, also called saints or ascendant masters possess the gift to do so), but
the healing I want to bring to these people has got to do with bringing
directly and indirectly inner peace and hope.
My dearest friend, do not doubt for a minute that faith can move mountains, and I am the proof that
in spite of my pride and arrogance, it is thank God that I am here today and I am who I am.
It is not necessary to belong to a religion, to know by heart the content of every single religious
book, it is not necessary to be baptized, go to mass every Sunday or go to church. Our heart is the
place we find God, it is there He abides. All that it is needed is to believe in ourselves and trust in
our heart's voice.

Yes, many times the difficulties during my short lived Life proved to be too much to bear on my
own. I have lost count on how many times I ignored the possibility of asking for His help, as a
consequence of my own arrogance, pride and also many times irrational fear. God never turned His
back on me, it was me who turned my back on Him and walked away, but He always leaves the
door open and waits patiently for us. Every time my difficulties proved to be too much for me, I
swallowed my pride and arrogance and showed up at His door, broken hearted and lost, in
desperate need of His love and healing. He always welcomes us with open arms without judging us
40

or humiliating us for our weaknesses and bad choices.
I know that when I ask for His help, I will still have the same obstacles and difficulties in my Life
to face and overcome, but the big difference is, with Him by my side, the suffering, the pain and
the worry are lessened, it is easier to carry the crushing weight on my shoulders when the load is
shared between Us.

But in the end, my dear friend, this is your choice, I only feel that it is my duty to share with you
that I know and had proof that we are never alone, we always have help available, we just have to
ask. Nothing is impossible for God, or too much, or too insignificant to turn a blind eye. I have
been witnessing this for many years, things that I have asked Him many years ago have
materialized in front of my eyes when the time is right and when I am ready. It may take months,
maybe years, but nothing is insignificant or irrelevant. If I do not get what I asked for, maybe it is a
good thing, many times we do not know what is best for our own selves. I do not go to church,
mass or am part of any religious group, I am not a religious fanatic and I hate people that rub on
my face their ideals and tell me that their faith / religion is the best!

This is your Life my dearest friend, we all possess free will, do whatever you like after reading this
message. "
























41

THE COSMIC PIANIST AND LADY IGNORANCE

Some time ago, someone very special inspired me to write the following message as a letter, and
now I wish to inspire all of you:

"Each soul can only be compared to a specific tune within the keyboard of the cosmic piano of
existence!
You cannot long to be a "Do" note because you are a "Mi" note. But do you dare to ask what
makes this so utterly brilliant ?
The Universe's Great Maestro/Composer would not be able to play extraordinary
Symphonies/Concertos unless the apparently useless and insignificant "Mi" note was there.
Welcome to this crazy, mad and beautiful World! Perhaps I am here among you to learn or re-learn
that in spite of being different, I am not an useless or unnecessary key note/tune.
The notes within a scale of a piano when isolated and played singularly, are just dull, boring,
repetitive and apparently useless.
So my beautiful and very patient guardian angel has a precious single tune in his hands to protect
and care for dearly, even if I do not understand my value or importance in the Universe, my
guardian angel does know and understand it, and so does God.

For many years I thought there was something wrong with me, I was incapable of understanding
the reason why I never got appreciated or got the recognition that I thought I deserved (which led
me to feel huge depression, rage and frustration within me).
When I left my home, friends and family behind me and went exploring the World, then it was
when I discovered that after all, there was nothing wrong with me, I was just in the wrong place.
For the first time I understood that I was the right key/tune of the piano in the wrong place of the
keyboard, that is why I hadn't felt accepted and in harmony / in tune with the ones that surrounded
me at the time.
So I have kept searching for my place in this vast piano called Life, and now I understand how
challenging it has been to find it. The meaning of this message goes beyond the basic needs such as
earning a wage, having a roof over my head, having a warm meal everyday or clothes to keep me
warm - these are just tools that allow me to survive and be independent. But what is the point in
having those tools if within me there was an unbearable emptiness ?! That same unbearable void
within me forced me to ask the questions:
- Who am I ?
- What is the reason of existing ?
- Where am I going to ?
- What is the meaning of Life ?
I am just content to know that there is a reason / purpose for me to live and exist in the World.
I am writing this story and dedicating it to all of you who have always felt discriminated,
misunderstood and judged by other people for the most ridiculous, pathetic and stupid reasons.
None of us is useless or unnecessary, we are just misunderstood through the foggy eyes of 'Lady
Ignorance' !"

42

LETTER FROM A HUMAN HEART

Dear God, thank You for helping me in my times of struggle, sharing with me the load of my
burden and wipe away my tears, thank You for healing my heart, thank You for always leaving
Your door open in my times of trouble, for always welcoming me back Home with open arms.
Sometimes I am scared, sometimes I doubt, sometimes I try to ignore You, but I can not escape the
FACT that without Your Love and guidance I am utterly miserable, without accepting You as part
of my Life there is a crushing emptiness and depression within me. I can no longer deny that You,
my God, Creator and Father know better than me what will fulfil me and bring me joy. You know
my heart and soul better and I want to trust You. Please help me to open my heart to You and to
listen to it.
My heart is Your cathedral, and You are my true Home.
Thank you.
Amen.






























43

TO ALL OF YOU WHO HATE OVERCOMPLICATED PRAYERS

And to all of you who prefer to write down your own heart felt prayers, I hope my words will
inspire you and help you somehow:

"Dear God, be my comfort, my peace, my home, my strength, my safe port in the tormented waters
of my Life. Please help me to be forgiving, to be humble, please guide me towards the Truth and
protect me and my family, friends and the ones whose life I have touched throughout my existence.
Please help me to bring Your comfort and Your healing to those in need whose path I have crossed.
Thank you.
Amen"
































44

THE SHEEP THAT TURNED INTO A LION(ESS) A STORY DEDICATED
TO ALL ABUSED MALE AND FEMALE VICTIMS

To all of you out there living in (verbal, physical, economic) abusive relationships, please, hear me:
God gave us freedom, it is the most precious jewel of all jewels, no one has the authority to take
from you what God granted you with. Find the courage in your hearts and the will power to turn
from "sheep" to "lions"/ lionesses. Fight, believe in yourselves. Your heart, your intuition, your
soul will always tell you the Truth. Don't live in the illusion that without him/her you will not be
happy, stop telling yourselves lies! True happiness depends on you and ONLY YOU!

Buddha said: "There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way."

We all have dreams and no one but ourselves can fight for those dreams to happen. This is about
honestly and firmly say to your own self as a human being - "I deserve better !" - and believing in
it with every breath you take, for as long as you live.

I feel exhausted, the negativity and the pain caused by people and the pain I have caused to him
have left me drained. We did and said to one another nasty, unbearably cruel things. But there is
something important I want you to understand about me: I am not religious and I am not Catholic,
but I know one thing for sure, one day I will forgive him, it is not in my nature to stay angry and
remain angry for years and years. When I forgive him (and those who have p*ssed me off
throughout my Life), then I will honestly feel at peace. I will not speak to him ever again, and I do
not wish to see him ever again in my Life time, but I want to forgive him. And no, I do not do it out
of fear of a punishing God or because the Catholic's Holy Book say so. I do it because when I sit
quietly there is this voice inside my head, it is always there, I just ignore it, and every time I ignore
it I end up feeling miserable. So, in one simple sentence lets resume it: every
time I am not true and honest to myself, every time I fail to listen to my own heart and soul I end
up being and feeling miserable. Understanding and forgiving another human being is just as tough
as attempting to shatter a rock with your bare fists, but it is a big part of growing as a person. To
remain bitter and hateful destroys one's soul and everyone around them.

When it comes to the men that were part of my Life... I shall be grateful and I shall remember them
gracefully. I shall not let the sour moments of arguments destroy the beauty and wonderful
teachings they delivered to me. I shall forgive them, whatever hurt or pain they caused me in their
Life time. And finally, but not least, I shall acknowledge that these people appear in my Life and
because of them, I evolved and grew up and AM BECOMING WHO I AM.

I do not know if this comment is going to help you, although many of you may relate to
somehow... A few years ago I was lost and very sad about my life, job and choices. Was being well
paid and had enough money to pay bills, rent, holidays, nice clothes... But I felt bloody miserable. I
was forced over the years to ask myself who am I and dig within my heart this human being that
has been screaming and weeping in despair to be heard. I finally started listening to my heart and
ignoring my viciously logical head and took the "leap of faith": I left my job , I left the partner I
was with (another miserable relationship) and without any sight of another job or family financial
45

support I just kept believing and thinking positive that I would make it work. Very slowly, over the
last three years I have come to see and recognize who I am. I have become self employed, I live a
very humble life, when I am working I deal with people's physical and emotional pain,
I have come to understand that deep in my heart I am a kind and generous human being. I feel
fulfilled and happy to help these people with their physical and emotional pain. I now understand
why I used to be so bitter and rude when I was working just for money without any passion for my
job or the people in my job . It is up to everyone of us to find out what is our path, to ask and listen
to whom we are, to hush all the noise and confusion in our heads. We all have the ability to heal
ourselves, but we must first believe and have honest faith in our heart and soul's voice. Whenever I
am lost, I listen to my heart, whenever I am in doubt, I sit quietly and listen to my heart. Our hearts
and souls will always speak the Truth of our selves.

Why am I willing to forgive a psychologically abusive man, you wander?! I tell you why - I
believe that when we are born, we are pure innocent children, I believe that every single violent
criminal / rapist / paedophile / abuser was once an innocent fragile new born baby craving love and
attention. My ex partner was a shy middle child that used to run into the woods in his free time and
seek the peace and protection of woodland solitude. WHY ? He was hiding from his much older
brother and sister that abused him sexually and psychologically. So he grew up in a house
environment in which his own brother and sister would black mail him if he dreamed of telling a
single word to his mom or dad. I forgive him because I know that maybe if he had grown up in a
different environment with a different family that loved and respected him, he would have turned
out to be a very, very different man from what he is today. I forgive him because I try to put myself
in his
shoes and imagine the terror of being forced to have sex against my will as a 12 year old child with
my own brother and sister!

So, may God give me and give you all the strength and the understanding you need to understand,
learn and forgive these tormented men and women we once loved and did the best we could to
share a life with. My ex partner's buried over the years anger / frustration has destroyed him, and
nearly destroyed me, will you let it destroy you ? If you do, you will become your abuser.

Do I think that it is too late for these very hurt people to turn around and be healed, if that is what
they genuinely will to do ? No, I dont think that it is impossible at all. With God, all things are
possible.

"Often its the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self" ;

"You can live without money, but you cannot live without love." - Dalai Lama

www.dalailama.com/messages/compassion

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/



46

DARE TO WALK THE TALK

Throughout Human History people have always feared the ones who give voice to the Truth, many
have been tortured, incarcerated, considered lunatics or mentally ill and even murdered in many
cases.

The greatest spiritual masters in the World were deeply humble, great diplomats and deeply wise
and humane people. All masters share something in common, they know that the greatest
knowledge and Truth comes from within. A spiritual journey is in fact a life long journey towards
the within.

I do not worship Jesus, but that doesn't mean I do not find him a fascinating human being, just like
so many highly evolved and intelligent human beings throughout our History suffered so much in
the claws of blindness and ignorance. Jesus suffered so much and in the end he was killed because
he spoke the Truth.

Galileo Galilei almost got killed for discovering the Earth is a sphere, another man who dared to
speak the Truth!

How many presidents were murdered and silenced because of their humanistic ideas ? Go on, tell
me?

Nelson Mandela got in trouble (arrested for 27 years, raped, called terrorist), for being a pacifist
and wanting to end the never ending conflicts in South Africa... Another man that was not afraid to
speak the Truth.

If you search the Wikipedia.org about Mahatma Gandhi, you will read this:
" [...] and later in demanding the British to immediately Quit India in 1942, during World War II.
He was imprisoned for that and for numerous other political offences over the years. Gandhi
sought to practice non-violence and truth in all situations, and advocated that others do the same. "
- a few years later Gandhi was murdered.

The never ending list of people who have suffered in the claws of fear and ignorance is terrifying...

This is the reason why all ancient symbols of great wisdom are represented by lone hunters,
seekers of Truth: the hawk, the owl, the whale, the coyote - all of them lone hunters...

We all assume the leadership role in our lives somehow at some stage in our lives, either as a
teacher, parent, workmate, classmate, team mate... We can only speak the Truth to others if we
dare to speak and face our own Truth first, fearlessly! Will you dare to look in the mirror and
embrace your own weaknesses and flaws without shame or fear ?
If people are truly as honest as they say they are, they will show it in the way they live their lives,
let their lives be the example and path for us to follow. A true leader does not demand to be
followed by people, a true leader is chosen and followed by its people, because he or she is worthy
47

of being trusted and followed. What makes someone worthy of being followed and called a leader
?
To walk the talk.


























48

THE JOYS OF...

Some time ago, someone I know asked me this question:

" - What everyday experiences that others take for granted do you find joy in on a daily basis?"

To which I replied promptly:

" - Oh this is an easy one:

the sea - to witness its constant shape shifting, to feel and taste its saltiness brought in blustery
gusts, to feel and listen the wind - playful and tender or free and wild;
to know that that tree will be there long after I am gone and to know how privileged I am to be a
contemporanean of these gentle noble creatures;
the refreshing smell of damp soil immediately after pouring heavy rain;
the odd fox that I see often very early in the morning having breakfast from our bins on the back;
to stretch my legs on the grass with the humble knowledge that I am one with all and everything,
the soothing thought that I am star dust burning with the gift of Life, and to stardust I shall return;
... (and the list continues).

Someone I talked years ago said once in conversation: 'The quieter you are the more you will
listen' - that is particularly true, there is not a single time I do not learn something new, there isn't a
single time I do not come back to the 'human world' with a sense of great peace, great joy and with
the knowledge in me that my personal problems that seemed so big and crushing, now are so
insignificant compared to the entire Universe. So, in my view and personal belief, I believe Nature
has the power to heal us, we just have to accept that healing. "Healing" is not in a magic pill or in a
big bank account.















49

ONE DAY, I HAD A DREAM

I dreamed of a place by the sea. I was dressed in a very unusual way. I was enjoying so much to be
there feeling that wild embrace, walking slowly, peacefully, appreciating every deep breath as if
the last ones of my life.
My mind was empty of thoughts or concerns. I loved that feeling of infinite freedom and peace,
nobody around, only me and the stunning beauty of that landscape: the waves crushing against the
rocks of that high cliff, the sweet melody of the trees swaying in the wild wind, the grass waving
with every wind gust, the clouds and the infinite night sky shinning with mysterious constellations.
I was overwhelmed when I realized how small and ignorant we - Humanity - are when we ignore
the glory and beauty of small little things. I was overjoyed when I understood that every cell of my
body is a masterpiece of Nature itself. We are no more than particles, stardust of the Universe,
burning with Life! Everything I owe and surrounds me belongs to the Universe. I realized how
insignificant, tiny and fragile our existence and problems are! It was given to me the ability of
appreciating beauty and happiness on the smallest and slightest details.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. - Oscar Wilde

The "almighty", technologically advanced and powerful Humanity hasn't got all the scientifically
answers for the things that only the eyes of the heart and soul can see. We have so much to learn
and yet, we despise wonderful things, taking the optional path of an ignorant and blindly
materialistic existence. And one day, Nature will claim back what belongs to her, and me, gladly,
will give myself away to it without regret, and forever We will be One, once again.




















50

THE WALL

When I was a kid in school, some of my teachers would get annoyed because they would catch me
from time to time talking a little too much with my fellow students... And sometimes I wouldn't do
my home work, as a consequence I would be punished for being a naughty girl (such a lovely
punishment!) My teacher would demand that I should sit on a little table just at the very bottom of
the room, facing the wall, doing nothing at all, no pencils, no paper, no books... Nothing on the
table at all! Can you believe that?! The wonderful thing about a child's mind is... It is just so easy to
drift away, being carried away by a world of fantasy where the only limit is your imagination... My
imagination isnt just a tool... It is a key that opens doors to new worlds and experiences,
imagination is an extremely dangerous thing.... It turns you into a creator, it gives you almost
infinite power... But when you drift away by escaping from reality for so long, people wonder
whether you are a freak or aberration. I was very anti social, my teachers used to worry about me
because I wouldn't play with the other kids, I would see them as strangers... Anyway... me and that
lovely wall... That wall had a very irregular surface, it wasn't smooth or painted in a homogeneous
way... Those cracks and wonderful irregularities would give me just what I needed Try to look at
this wall through the eyes of a child, and you would open the door to a new world, diverse
landscapes with wild deer and a spectacular view to a mountain pick on the background... But if
you push your imagination just a little further - you can feel the wind tossing your hair while
stepping over the wet grass just under your feet. You would feel overwhelmed by the fragrance of
wild flowers and the beauty of an ever changing sky. Look at this wall through the pure heart of a
child, and what people think about you has no influence or any power over you anymore, because
you have "created" a place where you are yourself and feel loved and accepted by who you are!
Absolute perfection in an imperfect world! You have painted your meaning of perfection with the
colours of your imagination over an imperfect wall! How ironic is life, isn't it ?! You are no longer
in a little noisy classroom full of noisy kids... no longer chained to a boring, grey reality you dont
wish to be part of! You are free, by simply gazing into the beauty of every irregularity of that
boring, old wall. The ultimate irony!

What I have never ever imagined to be possible, is that 24 years after, I would be given a much
bigger challenge to look through the walls that people build around them, and realise that these
are the true master piece illusion, a masquerade! My everyday challenge nowadays, is to look at
those same walls, and see the beautiful gardens that lie hidden behind them. To look beyond the
barb wire and cracks of those imperfect thick walls, and see, the human being!









51

ANGELS

I can assure you that angels do a lot more and are a lot more than just fancy looking illustrations on
Christmas cards... They come to all those who genuinely call them for help, that much I can tell
you. Most of us don't see them, but still, that does not stop them from helping all of us. I have
learned that it is not relevant to be able to see them, what really is important is to believe and have
faith in their love and compassion, and know in our hearts that they will come to all of us, no
matter how undeserving we think we are, they always come to us when our cry for help is genuine.
Don't ever doubt that.

Your angels arms and hands are out stretched towards you already, he is offering you his help
already and willing to help you, he is stretching his hands in a way as if inviting you to join him, to
be embraced by him, he is stretching his arms and willing to receive you and accept you openly
exactly as you are and with open arms. All you have to do is take his hand. It is like being a child
that falls and trips and gets his/her knees hurt and bleeding. The protector is there offering his
help without a word, his body language says more than any word. So he stretches his hands
towards the child it is up to the child to decide to take his hand or not.

Welcome to this World, there is a thing called free will, angels cannot interfere with it. It is very
obvious to them that you are in a lot of pain many times, but all they can do is to give you the very
gentle reminders that they are there by your side, always. They can only tap on your shoulder when
you are in pain and remind you that they are there, it is up to you to believe it, have faith and trust
or even decide to accept to take their hand. Your angel does not need to ask you if you are in pain
or scared, he feels it and knows it and probably is even more aware of your weaknesses then your
own self. THERE ARE NO SECRETS BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR ANGEL.
There is no such thing as "privacy" between us and guardian angels. They simply know every
thought and feeling, they are more aware of our emotions, energy and fears than ourselves. The
difference is that they are a lot more respectful than our own selves, they do not judge, humiliate or
use what they know about us against ourselves.

Your angel can not protect you from your own self. He can only show you the beauty and goodness
in you, he can show you a better path, but he cannot force you to believe in the things he shows
you. If tomorrow you decide that you would rather ignore and take a different path, it is your
choice.

Do you really think that he would do anything to hurt you?
Or allow anything to hurt you severely if it is not meant to happen in your life...? Do you really
believe that ? Do you really think he would voluntary do or say anything with the purpose to
destroy or even severely disturb/upset you ? Do you still do not trust him?!

May your angel hold your hand when you're lost and scared, and may him wrap you in his wings
when all seems lost and hopeless.

Let your bond with your angel blossom. What have you got to lose?

52

MY HEART IS YOUR CATEDRAL

I belong to You
And everything I own,
I owe to You.

There is no right or wrong
There is no way to You
You are the path
The path of wisdom and self discovery.

We promptly will investigate
What wonders lie above our heads
Into the abyss of the night sky ?
We seek and interrogate
What lies into the deepest sea floor ?
And sadly, we die
Not knowing who we're to the core!

Words can't and will never define what or who You are.
Why look into books, why seek You in marble temples
Why trust in those who say that represent You...
When You are so close...
With You, Life smoothly flows.
When all I have to do,
All I'll ever need to do
Is to close my eyes
and seek within my heart!
No need to seek into the unreachable skies...
Those are just more lies!

They do not understand... just like me, in the past...
The Universe might be vast,
But You have never forsaken me!
I was, and I am the one who have always turned my back to You.
And my troubles and lack of solutions redouble!
I am the one who only remembers You in times of trouble.
And how many times have I denied You... ?!
Too many!
Why....? Is it too great the humiliation of accepting something that I can not see?
How much sadness we bear, emptiness and our souls' miseries!
But You are the only one who can set me free!
Oh, I am so pathetic! We will never be able to answer all the world's mysteries.
And humanity's wars certainly won't end with victories!

53

And no... You are not the mean, evil, vicious prick that they describe,
Always ready to punish humanity for all crime...
In You we find the comfort and the love to nestle,
We are only arrogant children inside these bodies, just a temporary vessel...

We have so much to learn, and yet, we know nothing!
Science can not create Life from dust...
Our material possessions will rust!
The greatest miracle of all is just in front of my nose...
The greatest truths are always so close!
When my mind is clearer,
Every morning I awake and look into the mirror...
No matter how wrong goes life,
I still have mine
Good, bad, messed up or just fine!

It is just so easy to point the finger at You and blame You for all that goes wrong,
isn't it?
Just another consequence of our childish lack of will to assume responsibility for our actions!
" - We all need a Saviour (*) !!" - they say.
" - Excuse me... Saviour (*) ?! To save us from who or what? From ourselves, certainly!"
And for all the pain I have ever experienced,
For all the experiences I've been through,
Because of all the things that I've felt and tasted,
Plus all the joys, hopes and tears...
Deep inside I know that to be alive is a bless!

And all I have,
And all I will ever be,
I owe to You.
And to You I shall return,
With nothing but joy and gratitude.







____________________________________________

(*) Saviour Christ Consciousness

54

CEASE CALLING FEAR YOUR FRIEND


Are you familiar with the expression: "The Truth shall set you free." ? Well then... can you handle
the Truth ? Because you see, there are thousands or even millions of lies out there... but they are
just that... lies. There is only one Truth, there is only one true shepherd Gods love. Living in fear
brings you nowhere. Actually, I am starting to realize that the more I know, the more I conclude
that I know NOTHING !


"We promptly will investigate
What wonders lie above our heads
Into the abyss of the night sky ?
We seek and interrogate
What lies into the deepest sea floor ?
And sadly, we die
Not knowing who we're to the core!"


Sad... but so true. Do you want be another one who dies not knowing who you are, not knowing
your souls longing? As far as I am concerned that is your right. We have the right to know who we
are, we have the right to ask questions, we have the right to explore and seek answers, we have the
right to know the Truth, WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHO WE ARE IN OUR
INNERMOST CORE !! That is the only reason why we are here on Earth, we are here to
remember who we are.

Perhaps you think that you are worthless, maybe you keep saying that you dont deserve people's
kindness and respect, maybe you think you are too nasty to deserve to be loved and cherished.
Maybe you even believe that you dont deserve God's love, compassion and guidance. Now, lets
clarify things - you are not a baddy vicious prick, that is not true. You are not a blood thirsty
murderer. You are not a black hole that sucks out the life and goodness of all. You are so much
more ! You are a child of God! You are not despicable, you just feel lost. Maybe you cry yourself
to sleep, maybe there is a huge sense of emptiness within you, maybe you resent people's lack of
caring or feel lonely.

"You can do anything you put your head on."

This is the searing Truth ! Do not underestimate the great power we all possess - WILL POWER!
Nothing can beat it, nothing !

Dear all,

Cease calling Fear your friend!
You are loved. Wear the cloak of Gods love and know He will always be with you no matter what
life throws at you. Wield the sword of Truth and the might, courage and WILL POWER of a lion,
55

NO ONE CAN STOP YOU. The only thing others can do is attempting to seduce you and blind
you with their lies, they will do anything to chain you to the ground and take away your power to
create your own life and reality, and so they will chain you with lies and illusions and false
promises. My dear friend, know that these people have got Fear for a shepherd ! Go out there
and manifest who you are in your core, Fear is no match in the hands of Love and Truth. Find your
purpose and path in Life ! You are no accident and whether you understand that or not, know that
you are not here by chance.

You will only repeat your mistakes if you deny Truth and have got the willpower of a dead
chicken. Put your two feet on the ground, and stride out triumphantly from the dark night of the
soul!

Look into the mirror and be the Almighty Powerful Ruler - Of Your - Own - Life !

You will always find people along the way who will bash you and humiliate you and make fun of
you. You will always find people who will hate you and call you all sorts of names. They will
underestimate you. Some people will try to deceive you, by using fear and manipulation. You will
only make things worse if you empower them by feeling fear, please dont be your own worse
enemy by allowing this to happen!

Vengeance, cruelty, betrayal, violence, bullying, brain washing, manipulation all these stem
from Fear itself and the idea of being separate from other people. All these stem from thinking that
these make them better or superior somehow. Does that justify trampling people with cruelty and
manipulation, hurting them with vengeance and offending by bullying them?
Is this worth feeling proud about ? Well, I understand and even accept the feeling of pride towards
something worth protecting, something very valuable worth keeping or even show off to the whole
World. But, wait a minute, they feel pride towards what exactly ?? You mean, they feel pride about
remaining ignorant and keeping their own ignorance, too scared to find TRUTH ??? Too scared to
find out that we are all one?! Too scared to find out that when they hurt another, they are just
hurting themselves?! Wait, is that really what they are so proud about ? Being ignorant and
remaining blinded by fear fuelled thoughts ?! Is this what they are so proud about ? Because,
Ignorance and Fear are no crown jewels to be proud about ! Ignorance and Fear are no shinny
precious jewels to show off to the world and feel vanity about. There is plenty of it already in this
World. Ignorance and Fear are the two things that have messed up this Human World of ours.

Stand tall, know your worth, know your value, know your truth, love yourself, and learn to forgive
their offences. Help them to see the World from the perspective of an eagle and hopefully, they
will also soar side by side with you, once they understand that you are not a threat to them, you are
just awake. The only suffering there is, is in living your life guided by Fear. Have faith in the
beautiful voice and Truth that speaks within you. You have this power in your hands, and you can
start using it now, if you will.




56

KARMA

Suppose I have a pocket full of sour lemon seeds, and a pocket full of juicy pear seeds. When I
decide to behave out of fear and hatred, I am planting an apparently inoffensive single seed of a
sour lemon. You wouldnt think that such tiny seed would have any impact in your life at all, and,
you forget all about it. Over time, the tiny seed sprouts, and grows to become a lemon tree.
Imagine every single one of those tiny seeds, grow to become huge trees. Those trees, now will
offer back what I planted, MULTIPLIED BY THE HUNDRED!!!

What do I do, then ?! If I keep harvesting and eating the fruit from the sour lemon tree that I
planted, and if I keep planting those seeds, they will continue growing and multiplying! But what
if, instead of planting bitterness and sow more disappointment multiplied by the hundred, what if I
reach out for my pocket that contains the juicy pear seeds ? How would I expect to make any
change or improvement, unless, I take charge and break the vicious circle?
How do I expect to solve conflict if I keep sowing hatred and vengeance ?! Pay back fear and
hatred with the seeds of love and forgiveness, and believe that, over many life times, you shall
harvest many baskets full of sweet and juicy pears. There will be plenty for all, because the more
you give (plant), the more you receive (harvest).

The holiest place on Earth is where a past conflict becomes a present love. - ACIM