Emma Sacchetti

A Radio Story
Narrator: Anthropology is the science of humanity. And thats where the seed of this
story takes hold. Its about three students who bond over an all too familiar human
quandary: what am I going to do with my life? Everything was going along fine for
Michael McDonnell, Sarah Vee and Kate Fish until life threw them some curve balls. But
Im getting ahead of myself. Lets go back to when the three metand where else would
that have been?but an Anthropology class.
Mike: That class was the worst.
Sarah: Are you kidding? I was so inspired after taking that class that I switched my
major to anthropology.
Kate: Dude, you switch your major after every class.
Sarah: Good point.
Narrator: Forming a triangle, Sarah sat in the front and center of the 300-person
lecture hall, while both Mike and Kate sat comfortably on either side of the rooms
periphery. Like stars, the friends would meet again to make a three-pronged
constellation at well-known caf chain. Before we get to that, Mike and Kate meet
again in the spring of 2009.

Mike: She interviewed me for my job at Starbucks. I was so embarrassed to see

someone from the school since I wasnt going anymore. I thought she hired me
because she felt bad for meand because she was attracted to me.
Kate: No, I hired you because youre hilariously funny.
Narrator: At the end of the first month working behind the same coffee-stained
counter Kate and Mike finally discovered they had more in common than their milkfoaming abilities. During a closing shift the two dropouts found comfort in each
others shared lack of aim. Originally, Kate had entered school with the intention of
becoming a dentist. Mike entered school without any intentions.
Kate: My neighbors a dentist and let me tell you, I dont think I have ever seen that
woman wear the same thing twice. Looking back, I should have probably had better
reasons behind the major I chose. I dropped out after my first semester because
after months of pulling my hair out, my GPA was still as low as Mikes IQ.
Mike: Thanks. I dropped out of school because I didnt know what I wanted to do
with my life. I didnt feel like there was any niche carved out for me. My decision to
leave school did not come with an alternative plan. My parents wouldnt let me live
with them without having some idea of what I was going to do, so thats how I ended
up living with Kate.
Narrator: This is where Sarah comes in. She had dropped out of school as well.
Though, not because of the lack of success that prompted her friends departure.
Sarah had been involved in a serious relationship with a man she describes as,

Sarah: Hitler with dimples.

Narrator: After being abruptly broken up with, Sarah had spiraled into a depression.
Sarah: I was catatonic. I used to be the girl with an award for perfect attendance
hanging up on her bedroom wall. I had always loved school and learning. I guess
thats because I was good at it. I usually got straight As without too much effort.
After Liam broke up with me I stopped going to classes. Stopped calling my friends.
Stopped showering.
Narrator: One fateful Sunday morning, during the summer of 2009 Sarah enters the
Starbucks that employed her former classmates.
Sarah: I was still in major wallowing mode. I dont even think I ordered coffee, just
like three muffins.
Mike: I remembered her as the girl who practically fell out of her seat with
eagerness to answer the professors questions. The Sarah in front of me was like a
sedated version of that girl. Because, lets face it, even if Sarah was in a coma she
would probably still be able to drive herself to buy a muffin.
Narrator: Mike first found himself asking if she was okay, only to end up comforting
this aimless and lonely college dropout for the next hour. This intimate moment
among virtual strangers resulted in Sarah moving into the apartment with Mike and
Kate.
Kate: Hes way softer than I am. I was like, You want to cheer her up? Then, take a
dollar off her muffin, dont ask her to move in! I was really upset, until Sarah

started cleaning everything thus saving us money on a cleaning lady. Oh, and I guess
she was cool too.
Sarah: Thanks, Kate. Im happy that someone profited off my depression cleaning.
Kate: Depression Cleaning You should open a business.
Narrator: Sarah, who had finally migrated away from the futon couch, now spent her
days throwing back endless shots of espresso while propped up besides a coffee
table filling out job applications.
Mike: Kate and I were almost comfortable with being dropouts. We only ever
applied for the entry-level jobs meant for kids who only had high-school diplomas. I
dont know if we were negativebut we definitely knew where our boundaries
were. Now, Sarah was like applying to be the CEO of FacebookSarah: Mike, you cant apply to be a CEO. Anyway, I was applying to corporate jobs. I
could have gone back to college but that wouldve meant number 1) seeing Liam,
and number 2) seeing Liam. So I thought, what if I lie? What if I just say I have a
college diploma? Could I get away with it?
Narrator: Sarah sent out 30 applications, all saying she graduating college summa
cum laude, the particular degree she obtained varied on what job position she had
applied for. At this point both Mike and Kate had been working at Starbucks for
almost a year and a half.
Kate: I could see myself working there foreverand I didnt like it.

Narrator: Mike, also expressed feelings of restlessness with his job serving coffee
Mike: I thought, if I ever hear the word Grande again Im going to
Kate: What, throw a coffee bean at someone? Long story short, all three of us
decided to lie. The sad part was, lying about going to school was the most proactive
move I had made in almost two years. Lying broke thisparalysis I suffered from
while working 40-hour weeks serving coffee. It was like I had been watching my
heart rate flat-lining on an EKG and it stared to revive the minute Sarah came up
with the idea to lie.
Mike: I applied to jobs that I was so beyond unqualified for, just to push my limits. I
applied for curating jobs at museums, to be a car mechanic; I even auditioned for a
play!
Kate: HAH!
Sarah: Dont laugh at him he tried! We all did. Suddenly, this wall standing in the
way of our lives just vanished. I hadnt felt so alive since, likewhenI dont know.
Mike: Something clicked. I never really took part in anything besides partying when
I went to school. There was so much I could have done but didnt. Like, you know
that poem about meeting a fork in a road? I was at a crossroads but instead of
choosing between the two roads I had to choose between two billion. I think the
reason why Sarahs idea to lie worked so well because it eliminated the fear of
rejection.

Kate: Exactly. Once we acknowledged that rejection was inevitable trying new
things wasnt as scary.
Narrator: So now may be that point in the story when you wish there was a fast
forward button. You wish you could skip to the last chapter to see how it ends. No
such luck here, Im afraid. This is a story that never ends and is in the process of
changing as I speak. Though for the sake of your curiosity, I will give you the
updates. Sarah was hired at an accounting firm after bonding with her future boss
over traumatic break-ups. Kate and Mike have both enrolled in school after taking
two years off. Both plan to graduate this year with a degree in anthropology. For the
three friends it took a little time of not doing anything, in order to do something.
Thank you for listening. Good night.