EXCERPT FROM

FIND ME I’M YOURS

By
Hillary Carlip
I’ve believed in true love since I was five years old
and fell for a boy named Boo who took off all of his clothes
while we were at the top of the Wonder Wheel at Coney
Island, and threw them into the Atlantic below. His mom
bought a sequined cape off the back of a fire eater to place
over Boo’s naked body, and we rode the subway home, my
first love covered in stardust.
There’ve been several boys since Boo (none with such a
cool mom!) and every time I think, THIS IS IT! But then
each Mr. HIM clearly does not see me as Mrs. HER since
they: 1. Lied. 2. Cheated. 3. Said they just wanted to be
friends. 4. Slept with my next-door neighbor (yeah, that
was my most recent ex, Jason, who I was with for a year
and a half). Good times.
It’s been one month, one week, and four days since I
broke up with Jason. It’s a big improvement that I stopped
counting hours and minutes. And at least I’m not so far
gone that I ever counted seconds! I’ve been quite mature
around this breakup. Here’s proof:

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 Anyways (or is it singular ANWAY? I always mess that
up—and TOWARDS or TOWARD? Same.) So anywho…
I’m sure if I went up to any of these guys, it would be an
epic fail. Most boys are looking for someone taller, bustier,
and hot pantsier. I’m always the pretty girl’s best friend.
The one who in her senior year of high school shaved her
legs in stripes. The one who can’t see the E on the eye chart
without her glasses (sure, I find the cutest vintage frames
poss, but still…). And my style? I’m known to cut up and
sew halves of two different cardigan sweaters together as

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one (yeah, you ain’t the only fashionEEKsta, Tavi
Gevinson!).

I’ve been called “arty,” “interesting,” and “quirky,”

which might work for me if I still lived in NYC. But in
L.A.? Not so much.
I’m terrified that finding the guy I want to spend my life
with will be just like everything else I’ve started and never
finished.

Things I’ve Started and Never Finished

By Mags Marclay

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1). College. Dropped out after a year of
community college because I couldn’t see how
“Euclidean and Non-Euclidean Geometries”
would do me any good as an artist.

2). Art school. Dropped out after a year cuz my

financial aid ran out and my mother (who has
been a single mom since my dad left when I
was seven) couldn’t afford to send me, and I
couldn’t pay cuz I got fired from my
waitressing job for threatening a customer. Is
someone saying, “Let go of my breast or I’ll
shove this shish kabob skewer up your ass”
really a threat to be taken seriously? It would
be awfully difficult to carry out (and I wouldn’t
waste a perfectly good shish kabob on some
jerk’s ass).

3). Being gay. I tried with Liza in high school,

and although we had an awesome time
together (and she’s still my oldest bestie), I
just like boys more. (BTW, Liza DID finish this
one and she’s been happy with Kelly for three
years! Props to them!)

4). Moving to L.A.—all my stuff is still at my

mom’s apartment in the East Village cuz I
thought, “Well, I’ll see how I like it before

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really moving.” That was two years ago. I
guess I’m still seeing how I like it.

5). My adolescence. You’re supposed to be

done when you’re, what, eighteen? Twenty?
I’m twenty-four now, and still wholly
unprepared and unwilling to plunge into
adulthood.

6). Every art project I’ve started in an effort to

keep me disciplined and creating work
consistently, like my COLLAGE A WEEK
website. Which turned into Collage a Month,
then Collage Semiannually. Oh well… You can
still go see the ten or so collages I managed to
post.

www.CollageAWeek.com

Here’s a sample:

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7). And DIY in the USA, a collection of photos
I’ve taken of weird, random patriotic displays
(people are so BUSY in the USA!). I started
posting the pics on a Tumblr, then found out I
wasn’t the only one who spotted these
questionable spectacles, so I let peeps submit
their own and now I’m much more interested
in their pics than mine! So if you’ve seen (or
made?!) anything that looks a little somethin’
like this…

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 …

then go to www.DIYintheUSA.com and share your

find.

8). There are so many more things I’ve

started, but why even bother finishing the list?
AMIRIGHT?!

I’d like to think that someday soon I’ll cross #5 off, grow up
maybe a tiny, little bit, and do something really important.
Or at least make a few jaws drop along the way.