Brazilian culture and US culture are not so far like Arabic or Chinese culture,

but when a person moves from Brazil to US, his/her life can change completely. The
routine of a person in his hometown is unique and even this person did not like it,
one day in his/her life he/she will miss that, but it is not my case. This essay will
cover two important aspects in a life of person: the work (job or study) and how it
infers in the social life.
In general my life in Brazil was more excited exciting than here in US. My life
routine in Brazil was busy. Every day I woke up and went to work. I worked just with
things that I liked and with my friends. That work was really hard., I and my partners
had to work in on projects and negotiate with customers every day. In the afternoon,
or I went to laboratory doing to do researches or I came backwent home and
studystudied. About myMy studies, it was were very hard too, because I was in my
third and the most difficult year in Mechanical Engineering. The reprobation rate in
some disciplines is about 80%, so I had to study as more much as I could. My
classes were at in the evening from 7 to 10:30. Here in Lexington the life is so calm,
I don`t have a job and classes are, until this moment, too quiet. Basically every day
I go to UK, take classes, go to Blazer Restaurant, have a lunch, take a bus to home,
take a little nap, do my homework, watch some TV shows and sleep. All of this
difference in the routine imply in my psychological what? You need a noun here, I
mean when a person works hard, this person is more tired and consequently he/she
needs more relax and leisure. I dont understand how this sentence relates to what
you just said. The paragraph is clear and logically developed until these last two
sentences. These sentences need to be clear and logical to conclude your
paragraph.
As it was pointed before about thewith work being more excited in my
hometown, the same thing happens to leisure.+ topic sentence In Brazil because
every day I worked hard in my job and on the studies, at the end of the week I had
to go parties and enjoy as much as I could my weekend, maybe it was my scape
zone for problems, even I also loved those problems. Here in Lexington as I don`t
get so much work to do, when the weekend arrives I really don`t have any more
that same desire to enjoy it. Again the closing is unclear. I cant understand the
point this sentence is trying to make.
The life routine affects the leisure of a person. In Brazil my life was rush. I had
to work hard, researched hard themes and study almost impossible subjects,
because that my weekends were so excited. Here as my life s routine is too quiet
my weekends also are. Okay, clear review of main points; maybe close with an
overall observation/conclusion about this comparison.

Name: Raphael
Content=20 points 17
Addresses question asked
Logical, sufficient

Appropriate content. The second

body paragraph needs a little bit
more developmental detail. Both

 Unified paragraphs
Direct comparisons
Organization=20 points 16
Main point & preview
Topic sentences
Concluding summary &
comment
Transition & connecting words
Mechanics=10 points 7.5
Grammar
Spelling
Variety of sentence types

Total: 50 points

paragraphs need more clarity at the

end.
Essay generally follows point-by-point
structure, but main point and preview
needs revision to be more clear.

(NOTE: Only one paragraph is

marked for errors.) Carefully review
to correct run-on sentences, some
word choices, word forms, and verb
forms. One or two sentences are not
really clear.
40.5