Seeing with Nose!

The world was blur suddenly, ground was convex. I couldn't see things beyond arms length. Just imagine
walking the streets under such circumstances! Blurry dot of light which toggled between green, orange
and red was traffic signal and for the first time beautiful women were not just ass, tits, legs or face, and
that made me happy for there wasn't any obscene over simplification, they were just a blurry walking
blocks. They were just like me.
Forget the traffic I was worried about something primordial, Dog shit! My nose told me a pile of shit was
ahead and cow dung was on the right. Now how was it possible! when you were in the vicinity of dog shit
every other smell just fades away no matter how good or bad it was that's the virtue of dog shit.
Speaking of which, when I was a kid, everyday while coming home from the school we used to go hunt for
wild berries, and on one of those hunts I stepped on a pile of shit! All my friends jumped away from me
immediately, apparently my stepping on it had released all it's hidden virtues and my friends had picked it
out and as a stimulus had jumped a couple of steps away from me! except for my brother. But what
seemed to bother them was the fact that it had belonged to a certain somebody who was a member of a
lower cast! Hold on, how could shit belong to somebody after it has been extruded? What's the difference
between my shit and yours, doesn't they all stink the same?
coming back the present, every day when I walk to college I have to be on my guards lest I step on a pile
of dog shit and have to march back home to wash it off my shoes, you can't just scrape it off and act as if
nothing has happened.
They say you can't always trust what you see. But you could always trust what you smell. Whenever there
is shit near by my noes goes on red alert and pinpoints it's location and I didn't even have to see, my legs
they listen to my nose and I'm safe. With so many dog owners around -who takes their dog out twice a
day to take shit, who have turn the roads into dog toilet- not to mention stray dogs, these are intelligent
types though they don't go on the roads and once they relieve themselves they have in them minimum
decency to cover it up with mud.
I wasn't hit in the head or something -well, nothing that exciting has ever happened to me- I read like one
though. I had just removed my glasses! and had decided to walk from Brigade road to commercial street
without them.
Posted by White Boy at 10:53 No comments:
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Thursday, 14 August 2014

My Waterloo
I first came across Napoleon Bonaparte in an old dilapidated book when I was a kid. Ever since that name
has held it's magic. Napoleon what a strong and pleasant sounding name. But it wasn't just the name.
Like everybody else of my age I hated British, though my love for English movies wasn't a secret. Back
then it was if you're a patriot you hate British and Pakisthanis simple enough. It was just a child's hatred,
which was a reaction I had picked from some older kid -who was a kind of genuine patriot and what was
I? a genuine nothing- after learning that they had put us in a terrible predicament.
Napoleon had kicked their ass, or had at least tried. Enemy of my enemy is my friend!
The man had said Impossible doesn't exist in his dictionary but after his death we have meeting ones
Waterloo, I often wonder what would Napoleon say about it, had he been alive.
Enough about the Waterloo let me tell about my Waterloo.
After reading in the papers about late Mr. CR Simha I gathered that he was best known for his role as
Tuglaq. It's really strange how people suddenly get interested in a famous guy when he is dead or worse.
When Rajesh Khanna passed away suddenly everybody wanted to watch his movies. Same thing

happened when Kushwant Singh, but this time it was his books and when Tharoor scandal happened the
librarian asked me to return one of Tharoor's books. I admire Mr. Tharoor very much...now I don't know
why I said that! I'm no different from anybody. After reading about Mr. Simha I wanted to watch Tuglaq. I
went online and looked every. It wasn't there. I was getting and finally Rangashakara was staging it. I
booked a ticket online lest somebody else book it and spoil my day.
These days bus fair is skyrocketing, strolling around the city has become too much for my pocket. A bus
pass costs you 70 bucks! So I thought what else could I do before the drama...ha shoes! I love shoes!
And google told me there was one handmade shoe shop on brigade road. I just had to see it.
I was feeling sleepy after afternoon meal of rice and sambhar, the usual. After a quick nap I left home at
about 3 pm. It was 4:30 when I reached Brigade road. And the shopkeeper wouldn't understand me for he
spoke Hindi and my Hindi was worse than my English. Feeling bit down I left the shop and hurried
towards Anil Kumble circle to catch a bus to Shivajinagar. When I got there it was in a mess, it was like a
paddy field the footpath had been dug out. I waited and waited for the bus that didn't come and then
walked to Shivajinagar. When I got there it was 5:30 already. After inquiring here and there I boarded a
bus but It was moving in a snailish phase it totally stopped when we reached Richmond circle. Clock was
ticking it was 6:15 and then 6:20. 7:00 pm and I was at Shantinagar.
Hope is in your hand said a chair on the footpath. You're a loser said a mobile in a co-passengers
hand. I was scolding myself for not leaving early and at the same time I was hoping that I would reach on
time for at Rangashankara when the bell goes off at 7.30pm door closes shut and you had better be on
the right side of it.
It was 7:15 when the bus got into Shantinagar bus stand. I felt it at last the soul crushing defeat. I couldn't
shrug it off as there were only 15 minutes before the bell goes off. At that I decided that I have reached
my waterloo. I accepted it. It was more than acceptance. I welcomed it! Felt it in my heart in the pit of my
stomach.