Shortcut to Hollywood

Amanda wakes up with excitement. The sun is shining the birds are
singing and her heart flutters with the recognition that today is the day
she sets out on the journey that will make her a star.
Amandas blue backpack jumps off the desk and onto her back as she
skips out of the house and on to her pink bicycle. Rolling down the
street , she turns to the right, circles the block and pulls up in front of
her best friend Ambers house.
Ringing the doorbell, she could hardly wait for an answer.
Amber! Her friends mother shouted, Amanda is her to see you!
They sit down on the front porch together.
Im going to Hollywood, Amanda confides. Do you want to go?
Are you crazy? Amber shrieks. Why would you want to go there? Too
much drama.
Exactly! Thats why Im going. That, and do you remember the
talent show last year?
The one where they booed you off stage?
Right. Well once they see my name in lights, then Ill get the last
laugh.
Why do you care about them? What they have to say doesnt matter.
Of course it matters! You have no idea what its like being me. The
kids dont like me, my brother makes fun of my singing, and my
parents have never been to one of my chorus concerts. Theyll all
regret making fun of me once they see my name in lights.
Wow, youre really brave, Amanda, I wish I were as bold as you and
James.
James? Whos that?
Dont you remember my brothers friend? Last summer he left to
audition for a role in Days of Our Lives. Before he left, I overheard them
talking on the phone and there was something about a forest south of
town.

A what?
No its true! Havent you heard like singing or something when you
ride past there?
Oh yeah! I always wondered what was going on in those woods. I bet
its the gateway to Tinsel town.
Amber wishes her luck and Amanda pedals off toward the South of
Town. Before long Amanda arrives at the edge of the forest. Seeing a
small cottage off in the distance, she pedals toward it. She hears a
raspy singing coming from the house. She climbs up the stairs and
knocks on the door. After what seemed like forever, the door creeks
open. Standing before her is an old woman wearing a long blue
sequined gown, five-inch Manolos, ruby red lipstick smeared on her
collagen injected lips, and a long sequined cigarette holder.
Daaahhhling, how can I help you? she purred in a raspy old voice.
Im on my way to Hollywood through this forest and I got a little lost.
Hey are you Betta Flames? Etta James sister shes my idol! Oh,
but I really like you too!
Well, in that case, you got the right one, baby. So, you have heard of
me.
Of course I mean, I saw that one skit on Saturday Night Live about
the unfortunate incident at the San Diego Zoo
Well any publicity is better than no publicity! Come on in! Your just in
time for the show! Betta drags Amanda into the cottage.
Wait a minute. Amanda says.
Betta flings toward a row of dusty chairs lined up in front of a platform
in the living room and tells her Have a seat!
The old woman disappears behind a grimy green stage curtain
separating the rooms. Amanda gets up to peeks around the curtain but
before can see anything Betta reappears wearing a thinly feathered
boa and carrying an old microphone.
Amanda sits back as Betta puts a record on an old phonograph and
points a lampshade toward the platform for a makeshift spotlight.
Hooray for Hollywood start to howl out of the ancient Zenith
speakers, startling Amanda.

Amanda watches on in shock as Betta sashays across the stage and

leans against the wall in a seductive pose. She then looks at Amanda
and says, Sit back, kid, Im gonna show you how to make it in
Hollywood.
The needle scratches across the record suddenly. Betta says, Oh well,
thats it for the first set lets see whats next.
Before Betta can get to the record player, Amanda jumps in, Wait!
Can I ask you a few questions?
Betta responds, How old are you, kid?
15.
Ahh, youre as fresh as a plum, just like I was when I first made my
way through this forest to Hollywood.
Well, youre more like a prune now, Amanda thinks to herself.
Betta steps down off of the platform and grabs Amandas hand, Come
on, since youre on your way to Hollywood, Ive got some things youre
gonna need to take with you.
While youre on the road, youre never going to see your family, so
heres my best stationery.
Betta pulls out an old yellowed box of writing paper and envelopes and
hands it to her.
And youll need these too! And she hands her a decrepit roll of 15cent stamps.
Amanda starts to get nervous. She says, really? You dont think that
Ill see them at all?
Never, Betta purrs, blowing cigarette smoke in Amandas face.
And because I sense something special in you, Betta says, Im going
to give you my lucky red gown that I wore when I played Lawrence
Welk. Its a little faded, but pink is in these days.
Amanda looks confused and wonders, Who is Lawrence Welk?!
And youll need to keep your voice sharp, so heres my special secret
singers tea, a blend of cod liver oil, cactus thorn tea, cayenne pepper,

and brandy. It works best, when its flambed. She lights the cup with
her cigarette. Here, have some now!
With that, Amanda looks at her wide-eyed and turns and bolts out of
the house.
She runs across the forest with all the speed she can muster. In an
instant, she looks back for one more glimpse of the house, then
suddenly feels something hard in front of her foot and immediately
flies through the air and lands on the ground. As she catches her
breath, she looks up into the sky. Just then, a young man with short
brown hair and big brown eyes appears in her field of vision.
Are you okay? he asks with a concerned look on his face.
I think so, Amanda replies. It has been a crazy couple of hours.
What are you doing here?
Hiking. I like to come back to this forest every so often.
Why is that? Amanda asked.
Well, this is where it began for me a couple of years ago. I came here
with a dream, but left with an understanding of who I am and what I
am here to give.
Interesting, replied Amanda. How did you get all that?
Stay here awhile. Breathe the air, close your eyes, and you will come
to know that it is all within. And with that, the hiker disappears.
Amanda remains on the ground, breathes and comes to understand.
Slowly, she lifts herself to a standing position, returns to her bike and
rides home.