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embattled employers, many of them world leaders, will realize what deep doo-doo theyre in, and given in to all
their maids demands.
And what exactly will these demands be? Oh, simple stuff. That our foreign debts be considered paid, for one.
Armaments, planes, ships. Heavy investments. The clean-up of toxic wastes. Trade concessions. Almost anything
we could ask for. We would literally hold the world hostage.
I am reminded of a Physics problem from high school. The Chinese get mad at the American and devise a plan to
eliminate them forever. If you look at a globe, China is directly opposite the United States. At the exact given
moment, every single person in China will jump one foot into the air. When they hit the ground, the impact will
propel the population of the United States into outer space. Given the mass of the earth, the populations of the
two countries, the average weights of the Chinese and Americans, and the laws of momentum, will the plan
work?
It wont, because the earth is too heavy. But thats beside the point. Our plan will work because it is human
nature to despise housework, and the farther one rises in the world, the less inclined she or he will be to do
household chores. In fact, the degree of social, political, and financial influence a person wields in inversely
proportional to her or his willingness to do housework. The less inclined one is to cook, clean, and wash, the more
likely one is to hire a domestic helper.
So keep sending out those maids, those domestics, those chimays and atsays. In their capable hands lies what
may be our only chance to become a superpower. Chimays of the world, unite! Before long, we shall take over the
world!!!
Source:
Zafra, J. (1995). Twisted. Pasig, Metro Manila: Anvil.