early on he learned the dark side of life, developed his own convictions, character, and ideals.

47 Rubinstein himself spoke about his lack of a childhood:

Well, I never did look young, that is why I have grown old so quickly. I began
to live too early.48 The experience of having to fend entirely for himself at the
ripe age of sixteen surely left an indelible mark on his character. He did not
remain in Berlin but traveled to Vienna, where he intended to give music lessons.
Before leaving, however, he renewed an old acquaintance. Five years earlier in
Paris he had played in a concert with Vieuxtemps, and now their paths crossed
again in the Prussian capital. A musical autograph was found at the Gesellschaft
fr Musikfreunde in Vienna, showing the rst bars of the Rondo nale (Allegretto) of Vieuxtempss Concerto in E with the inscription: H. Vieuxtemps,
Berlin, 15 mars 1846. A son ancienne connaissance, lintressant A. Rubinstein.
This autograph is reproduced in L. Ginsburgs work on Vieuxtemps.49
In Vienna Rubinstein had counted on the support of Liszt, but, to his dismay,
the Hungarian virtuoso told him: A man must achieve everything by himself,
that my talent would support me, and that no other support was necessary.50
After this, Liszt departed on a long concert tour, initially to Prague but then to
Hungary, Ukraine, and Turkey. If Liszt had not given him any practical assistance, at least Rubinstein had had the good sense to arm himself with fteen or
so letters of recommendation from Baron Meyendorff, the Russian ambassador
in Berlin. When these letters failed to achieve the desired objective, however,
he opened one of them and read: We are obliged to offer protection and assistance to our fellow countryman. This young man has so requested, and therefore I recommend him . . . His country, he felt, had let him down, and he was
amazed at the amassadors behavior. His situation was becoming increasingly
desperate. The lessons he gave brought in very little money, but that he would
not compromise his artistic principles and integrity was entirely characteristic.
He could have earned a comfortable living by playing in the fashionable Viennese cafs or by dazzling undiscriminating audiences with brilliant fantasies and
potpourris, but this ran counter to his noble concept of art. So he took a small
room in the garret of a large house, sometimes going without food for two or
three days. Instead, he found spiritual nourishment in composing vast quantities of music: I wrote a frightful amount. The whole room was strewn with
oratorios, symphonies, operas; the devil knows what I didnt write at that time!
I even composed a newspaper for myself. What can I say? I lived in my room
and wrote, wrote, wrote, and my life in the material sense was simply very
bad. 51
Rubinstein acknowledged that his situation became so desperate that I
stopped visiting even Liszt. In reality, he had very few occasions when he could
have seen him. Liszts busy concert schedule, and his acceptance of an invitation
to spend much of the summer as the guest of Prince Lichnowsky in Graz, allowed him only eeting visits to Vienna, each lasting little more than a few
days. Nevertheless Liszt evidently became sufciently concerned about Rubinsteins disappearance from public life that on one of these visits he appeared
unannounced at Rubinsteins lodgings, accompanied by the thronging entouPrologue 19