Six Weeks to Live

Written by,
Ian Toomey

I have cancer. I have stage 4 brain cancer, which will kill me in six weeks. The doctors
have done everything they can, but they cannot do anything for me now.
We can put your son in hospice, but that will only ease the pain. It wont help him
survive. If you want to do that we can, but I understand if you do not want to do that. My
doctor explained.
No, I dont want to do that. Mom said after thinking for a few moments.
I understand. I am very sorry. There is nothing else we can do.
I guess I will die soon. Im eight years old.
It all started when I had chest pains. I collapsed in the TV room
Your son has six weeks to live. Im very sorry mam.
On the car ride home from the hospital I was pretty quiet. That was weird because I
am usually always talking. Mom noticed that I wasnt talking and spoke up.
Whats wrong Rob?
I just thought I was gonna get better.
Oh Robbie, I know you wanted to get better, but your body is too sick to get better.
Remember how bad you felt when you were doing chemotherapy?
How could I forget? I felt awful. I felt like I wanted to die. But now that I am going to
die Im not sure I want to go.
Yeah. I remember saying Just kill me now!
Thats right, but you got through it didnt you?
Yeah, but Im still going to die.
I know honey, but lets just enjoy the last six weeks, okay?
Okay. I love you Mommy.
I love you too, kiddo. Mom held her hand around her seat and held it out to me.
I grabbed it and held it. Mom looked back at me and smiled. I smiled back. I was glad
to be out of the hospital.
-Week 1This week I grabbled with the thought that I wont be able to play with David anymore, or
that I wont be able to sleep in my own bed anymore. This week was stressful, but I got
through it. David came over and played pretty much every day, so that took my mind off of
my sickness. Mom helped me at night. Night was the most stressful time for me, because I
thought I would go to bed and never wake up. I didnt want to die alone. I would often wake

up crying and in a cold sweat. Mom would comfort me even if it meant staying up late. One
night Mom wasnt able to comfort me, so Dad cuddled me. I had told him what the doctor
said, and he said he would help me the entire time I was still alive.
Rob, I love you. Dad said as I cried into his shoulder.
I love you to Daddy. I said.
Saturday I woke up feeling crummy. My tummy was feeling bad. I spent the day in bed
because I felt too bad to get up. When I ate the lunch Mom made for me, I threw it all back
up. It was a bad day. I was sick until Sunday night.
-Week 2This week I kind of forgot that I was going to die. I played with Daniel, went the water park,
saw a movie, and spent time with my family. Dad took time off work to spend time with me,
and Mom took me out of school. It didnt really matter anyway. I had been out of school for
most of the year battling cancer. The district understood, and they unenrolled me from
school. I had just a big part of my life. But, I was okay with that.
The whole family piled into the family van and we took off towards the mountains to go
camping. We were gonna stay for two nights in a tent! I couldnt wait! The drive was really
long, but my little brother Morgan helped make the time go by singing. The whole time. I
tried to fall asleep, but I couldnt with all the racket Morgan was making. Eventually I just
looked out the window and tried to zone him out. When we finally got there I jumped out of
the van and helped Mom and Dad put the tent up. We had a big tent that could fit five
people, so for just the four of us we had a good deal of space each. I chose a spot that was
right underneath a skylight. It was clear plastic that I could see the stars through. Once we
had put our stuff in the tent, we had lunch. Lunch consisted of a hot dog roasted over a fire,
and I ate three. Then Morgan and I played tag in the field that was next to out campsite, and
we had dinner and went to bed. Both of us told jokes to each other and laughed well into the
night. It was great.
The next two days were really fun. I totally forgot about my brain cancer. Then it was time to
go home. We packed up our stuff into the van and drove home. Both Morgan and I slept the
entire way.
-Week 3This week started out good, but got harder. Monday and Tuesday we didnt really do much. I
tried calling David, but he couldnt come over. My little brother and I played together. It
wasnt until Wednesday that I lost it again. It was all because of Morgan, (my little brother.)
He came in my room and asked if I was sick.
I heard Mom and Dad talking about you, and they said you were sick. Are you?
I tried not to cry as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I only had three weeks to live. I
nodded.
I have something that is basically taking over my brain. It will kill me. The doctors cant
make me better. Morgan didnt say anything.
Then he got up on my bed and hugged me. We sat on the bed talking for a while. Eventually
he got bored and left. I stayed in my room. I laid on my side and cried. I eventually cried
myself to sleep.

While I was asleep I had a dream. I dreamt that I survived the six weeks only to be hit by a
car and killed. I again woke up crying. I looked at my clock: 1:45AM. I had slept through
dinner. I got up and walked to Mom and Dads room. Mom was asleep, but she woke up
when she heard me crying.
Whats wrong bucko? Mom asked sleepily.
I had a scary dream. I said through my tears.
Oh honey, youre okay. Youre safe with me. Here, come cuddle with me. Mom got out of
bed, went and sat down on the big easy chair that was in their room.
I got on her lap and hugged her. I kept crying for a little while, then I calmed down. Finally, I
stopped crying.
Do you want to go back to bed now? Nodding, I got off her lap and walked with her back to
my bed.
I climbed under my covers and Mom tucked me in. We hugged each other, said good night,
then Mom left. I turned onto my side and drifted off to sleep.
The next day I woke up with a pounding headache. I couldnt even sit up the pain was so
bad. Mom called the doctor.
All he can do is just sit in bed and suffer. Mom said.
A minuet passed, then I understand. Thank you doctor. Bye. Mom hung up.
Well son the doctor said that all you can do is lay in bed and wait for it to pass. He said you
should try to get some more sleep. I cant give you medicine because it will only make the
headache worse. But, I can hug you! Mom told me.
She got down to my level and hugged me. I tried to at least touch her. The rest of the day
was really boring. I mostly was in between sleeping and crying. Morgan tried to help me feel
better by singing, but it only made it worse. Mom decided to put blankets over my blinds to
make my room as dark as possible. My room ended up being as dark as it is at night. We
have no street lamps where I live, so when it gets dark, it gets REALLY dark. The darkness
helped the headache a bunch. Around 8:30 that night, I fell asleep. I slept all through the
night.
-Week 4This morning I woke up without any pain in my head. It was great. The day was going good
until that afternoon. I was at the park with David. We were playing tag when I suddenly
collapsed. David panicked and started screaming. Some random lady came running over to
us. I was having trouble breathing.
Kid, are you okay? The lady asked.
I shook my head no. Then a teenager came over to see if she could help.
Call 911! The lady instructed the girl.
She took out her cell phone and called. I had no idea what was going on. The ambulance
came and I was taken to tri-regional childrens hospital in west Spokane. There I was
examined by Dr. Wesley. He said that my cancer had spread from my brain to my lungs, and
that my lungs were having trouble getting air in. They said I needed to be transferred to a

cancer hospital, but that I had only one more week to live. They called a helicopter, and I
was flown to Valley Medical Center where I was loaded into an ambulance and I was driven
to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. There I was put under the care of pediatric cancer doctor Dr.
Haley Withers. She had golden hair and soft caring eyes. She seemed very nice.
-Week 5Mom came to see me as soon as she got the call that I was in the hospital. We didnt say
much, we just held hands, together in silence. I went to sleep around 8, and I slept until
noon the next day. A nurse tried to give me medicine to ease my pain, but I refused.
Medicine wouldnt help me get better, and I didnt want it. The week passed one day at a
time. Mom and Dr. Withers had a meeting, and they basically came to terms that I was going
to pass away soon, and there was nothing the doctors could do about it.
Saturday I went to a meeting room. I was wheeled in on my bed, and there I found my whole
family. Grandpa and Grandma were there, as well as cousins, aunts, and uncles. Mom, Dad,
and Morgan were there too. Even David was there. The whole family greeted me and we had
a great big family reunion. I wished I could have gotten out of my bed and walked around,
but I didnt feel good enough. I hugged pretty much everyone, and I laughed and joked with
my cousins. It was the best day of my life.
-Week 6This week I really went downhill. By Wednesday I was so weak I couldnt talk or move. I could
only breathe and look around. I couldnt eat, I couldnt even go to the bathroom. I dont
wanna talk about that though. By the time Saturday came around, I was so weak that all I
did was sleep. Mom and Dad stayed with me the whole time.
-MomIt was very hard to see Robbie dying before my eyes. I never left his side. My husband
brought me food from the cafeteria and he stayed with me. We decided it was better to
leave Morgan home. But on Friday I had a feeling that Morgan should be here with us.
Leaving the chair I had sat in for the past five days, I drove home and picked up Morgan
from his friends house. Then I drove back to the hospital. The whole family stayed overnight
in the hospital room, and on Saturday at 5:45PM, Robbie died. He died peacefully with us all
around him. I was holding his hand.
His last words were I love you all.
I knew he wasnt suffering anymore. I missed his bubbly spirit and his catchy laugh, but I
knew he was in a better place now. I picked him up and hugged his limp body.
I love you Robbie. Sleep well, and rest in peace. God loves you and you will be taken into
heaven. Good night Kiddo. I told him, even though he couldnt hear me anymore.
Twenty minutes later we went home from the hospital. I went to Robbies room and sat in his
rocking chair. Then I put my head in my hands and cried. Life was going to be very different
without him.
I missed him.
The end.

This story is dedicated to my Uncle Jerry.

I will see you in Heaven!

The pain is no more.