1

00:00:01,411 --> 00:00:03,727

Look what someone left
in our mailbox -- again.
2
00:00:03,728 --> 00:00:05,377
Wait, that's like
our fifth one, isn't it?
3
00:00:05,378 --> 00:00:06,499
It's getting kind of creepy.
4
00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:08,221
Oh, relax -- it's probably
just from Victor,
5
00:00:08,222 --> 00:00:09,674
that flower-delivery guy I dated.
6
00:00:09,675 --> 00:00:11,252
Who's Victor?
We never heard about him.
7
00:00:11,253 --> 00:00:13,589
Oh, because I knew you'd never
let me go out with an ex-con.
8
00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:16,478
Hey, maybe it's Dylan
trying to win you back.
9
00:00:17,138 --> 00:00:19,023
So, Victor -- it's a closed door?
10
00:00:19,451 --> 00:00:20,924
Maybe it's not a guy who's
in love with Haley.
11
00:00:20,925 --> 00:00:21,814
Oh, thank you.
12
00:00:21,815 --> 00:00:23,608
Maybe it's a guy
who's obsessed with Haley
13
00:00:23,609 --> 00:00:25,359
and is getting plastic
surgery to look like her

14
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,882
so he can replace her
and live her life.
15
00:00:26,883 --> 00:00:27,742
Luke.
16
00:00:27,758 --> 00:00:29,681
So they can only be for Haley?
17
00:00:29,682 --> 00:00:32,430
Of course not. Haley isn't
the only hottie living here.
18
00:00:32,948 --> 00:00:34,923
I washed the car in my cheer
shorts the other day.
19
00:00:34,924 --> 00:00:36,141
I definitely felt eyes on me.
20
00:00:36,142 --> 00:00:39,513
Has it ever occurred to you that
those flowers could be for me?
21
00:00:39,514 --> 00:00:42,197
- What do you mean?
- I mean, like, from my boyfriend.
22
00:00:42,198 --> 00:00:42,847
What?
23
00:00:42,848 --> 00:00:44,001
You have a boyfriend?
24
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,123
And you thought
my thing was crazy.
25
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:59,136
Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:00:59,634 --> 00:01:01,209
Alex, you have a boyfriend?

27
00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:03,146
You can't just
drop that and leave.
28
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:05,227
Honey, it is so exciting.
Why didn't you tell us?
29
00:01:05,228 --> 00:01:06,396
Because I knew
you'd get all weird
30
00:01:06,397 --> 00:01:07,942
and ask a million
stupid questions.
31
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,888
What does he look like?
How did you meet him?
32
00:01:09,889 --> 00:01:11,506
Okay, I'll show you a photo.
33
00:01:14,212 --> 00:01:17,287
Well, I would, but now
my phone's not working.
34
00:01:18,384 --> 00:01:19,808
Oh, here he is.
35
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:21,366
In the supermarket flyer?
36
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:22,958
That's him pondering
the pork chops?
37
00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:24,907
What's to ponder?
They're $4.59 a pound.
38
00:01:24,908 --> 00:01:26,160
I don't understand.
Why is he in this?
39
00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:27,650
He's a model, mom.

40
00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:29,985
Oh, wait, wait.
Your boyfriend's a model?
41
00:01:29,991 --> 00:01:31,036
Well, how did you meet him?
42
00:01:31,037 --> 00:01:32,232
There's not much crossover
43
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:35,023
for a national honor society
student and a pork model.
44
00:01:35,024 --> 00:01:37,991
Well, actually
it's a really long story. I...
45
00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:40,939
Oh, well -- it's him.
46
00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:42,290
Hey, hold on.
47
00:01:42,691 --> 00:01:44,117
This is terrific news.
48
00:01:44,118 --> 00:01:46,038
I can't believe she
didn't tell us about him.
49
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,977
Oh, that's what you can't believe?
50
00:01:47,978 --> 00:01:48,616
What do you mean?
51
00:01:48,617 --> 00:01:50,064
Phil, it is a little weird.
52
00:01:50,065 --> 00:01:51,374
I mean, suddenly
she has this boyfriend.
53
00:01:51,375 --> 00:01:53,511

She wants to show us a picture

on her phone, but she can't,
54
00:01:53,512 --> 00:01:56,538
and magically he's in today's paper?
55
00:01:57,263 --> 00:01:59,604
I don't even want to say it.
Haley.
56
00:01:59,605 --> 00:02:00,752
She's making it up.
57
00:02:00,894 --> 00:02:02,173
Why would she do that?
58
00:02:02,174 --> 00:02:03,075
Maybe she's upset
59
00:02:03,076 --> 00:02:04,893
that none of us thought
those roses could be for her.
60
00:02:04,894 --> 00:02:05,695
Oh, and remember
61
00:02:05,696 --> 00:02:07,421
when she couldn't get
a date for homecoming?
62
00:02:07,422 --> 00:02:08,371
She said she didn't care,
63
00:02:08,372 --> 00:02:09,777
but I caught her
crying in her room.
64
00:02:09,778 --> 00:02:11,583
Oh, honey, what
did you say to her?
65
00:02:11,584 --> 00:02:13,950
Oh, I-I was super late,
so I didn't really...
66
00:02:13,951 --> 00:02:14,877
This is sad.

67
00:02:14,878 --> 00:02:15,766
Alex has great news
68
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:17,331
and her own mother and
sister don't believe her?
69
00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:18,229
I want to.
70
00:02:18,230 --> 00:02:19,653
Well, I do believe her.
71
00:02:19,654 --> 00:02:21,600
I'm gonna tell her to invite
this boyfriend over for dinner,
72
00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:23,901
and I'll be serving a big,
old platter of "I told you so."
73
00:02:23,902 --> 00:02:24,874
Oh, great.
74
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:27,786
Maybe you could also serve
unicorn burgers and magic beans,
75
00:02:27,787 --> 00:02:30,015
and I'll invite my boyfriend, Bigfoot!
76
00:02:30,131 --> 00:02:31,622
Still better than Dylan.
77
00:02:33,816 --> 00:02:36,620
Okay. I got a surprise for you.
78
00:02:36,621 --> 00:02:38,527
It better not be another baby.
79
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,488
Is there something fun
behind the couch?
80
00:02:42,489 --> 00:02:46,092

An Edgar Vanderkoff
hand-crafted blanc de blanc sofa.
81
00:02:46,093 --> 00:02:47,680
It was a wedding gift
to ourselves.
82
00:02:47,681 --> 00:02:48,890
Plus, we're showing Lily
83
00:02:48,891 --> 00:02:51,441
that we trust her enough to
let us have one nice thing.
84
00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:52,598
When you think
about it like that,
85
00:02:52,599 --> 00:02:55,015
- it's really a gift for Lily.
- Yeah.
86
00:02:55,613 --> 00:02:56,666
Okay, whoa.
87
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,177
We only get on this couch
when we know we're not dirty.
88
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,970
That's why we got her the couch.
89
00:03:00,971 --> 00:03:02,707
To teach her about respect.
90
00:03:02,779 --> 00:03:04,690
Legs a little wider please.
91
00:03:04,869 --> 00:03:06,410
Is that a cookie
in your back pocket?
92
00:03:06,411 --> 00:03:07,524
- Yep.
- Okay.
93
00:03:07,525 --> 00:03:09,507

Bup-up-up!
Hey, nice and slow.
94
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:14,293
Watching that.
95
00:03:14,457 --> 00:03:16,686
But now that I got you here,
what do you think?
96
00:03:17,856 --> 00:03:20,343
That you wore cargo shorts
to my middle-school graduation,
97
00:03:20,344 --> 00:03:21,420
but you're putting on a bow tie
98
00:03:21,421 --> 00:03:22,476
for some dog's birthday party.
99
00:03:22,477 --> 00:03:24,936
It's all good fun.
The Birnbaums can't have kids.
100
00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:26,866
They like to do it up
big for Buster.
101
00:03:26,867 --> 00:03:28,671
I had my fifth birthday
in a break room
102
00:03:28,672 --> 00:03:30,334
of a Der Wienerschnitzel,
but good for Buster.
103
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,182
Why are you so cranky?
104
00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:36,810
This kid at school ripped
me off for 40 bucks
105
00:03:36,811 --> 00:03:37,654
in a pyramid scheme.
106
00:03:37,655 --> 00:03:38,648

Did this have something to do

107
00:03:38,649 --> 00:03:41,341
with that broken plastic
pyramid on your dresser?
108
00:03:41,342 --> 00:03:42,825
It looked like marble in the picture.
109
00:03:42,826 --> 00:03:43,767
Oh, man.
110
00:03:43,768 --> 00:03:45,527
Where were you
when I was growing up?
111
00:03:45,528 --> 00:03:47,019
I'd have had your
dice and cigarettes
112
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,323
before you got to homeroom.
113
00:03:48,324 --> 00:03:50,005
Where'd you go to school -"guys and dolls"?
114
00:03:50,006 --> 00:03:52,073
Bright as you are,
you got to smarten up.
115
00:03:52,378 --> 00:03:54,155
You got to be more
suspicious of people.
116
00:03:54,156 --> 00:03:55,907
Stop being such a patsy.
117
00:03:55,908 --> 00:03:57,616
How is this for the party?
118
00:03:57,617 --> 00:04:00,439
It's my first time meeting
your dog-park friends.
119
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,962
Fantastic, but be careful --

120
00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:03,593
some of these guys
are single in the group.
121
00:04:03,594 --> 00:04:05,101
What a surprise.
122
00:04:05,194 --> 00:04:06,870
Manny, we won't be late.
123
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:08,593
I left dinner for you and Joe,
124
00:04:08,594 --> 00:04:10,920
but don't eat the deviled eggs
that are in the refrigerator
125
00:04:10,921 --> 00:04:12,548
because they're
for tomorrow's picnic.
126
00:04:12,549 --> 00:04:14,494
What picnic -- somebody's
cat going to college?
127
00:04:14,495 --> 00:04:16,804
No, some of Gloria's friends
are getting their green cards.
128
00:04:16,805 --> 00:04:18,202
It's actually a nice group.
129
00:04:18,203 --> 00:04:20,589
Yes, they're very decent,
hardworking people.
130
00:04:20,590 --> 00:04:22,976
Jay met them at Mirabelle's
fake wedding.
131
00:04:22,977 --> 00:04:23,937
Zooboo!
132
00:04:23,938 --> 00:04:26,753
No, you've already watched
"Zooboo" six times today.

133
00:04:26,754 --> 00:04:27,798
We're gonna watch
a classic movie
134
00:04:27,799 --> 00:04:29,084
right here on the big screen.
135
00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:30,648
You better let him
watch his show.
136
00:04:30,649 --> 00:04:31,745
If not, he's gonna freak out.
137
00:04:31,746 --> 00:04:32,848
Yesterday I turned it off,
138
00:04:32,849 --> 00:04:34,918
and he bit through
one of the pool balls.
139
00:04:42,684 --> 00:04:43,587
Hey, Mitchell.
140
00:04:43,588 --> 00:04:45,249
Hi, uh, um...
141
00:04:45,322 --> 00:04:46,797
B... Renda.
142
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,319
Yes, you thought I wasn't
gonna remember, didn't you?
143
00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:51,227
So, how's your first week been?
144
00:04:51,228 --> 00:04:52,191
I'm getting a divorce.
145
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,549
Oh. God.
146
00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:56,252
Um... well, I did ask, so...

147
00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:57,796
It's really hard to be alone,
you know?
148
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:58,804
Yeah.
149
00:04:59,394 --> 00:05:02,198
Hey, you know who else
who stays late is, um, Stacey.
150
00:05:02,199 --> 00:05:03,721
- 14 months.
- Oh, gosh.
151
00:05:03,722 --> 00:05:04,883
Well, sometimes it's good to
152
00:05:04,884 --> 00:05:05,933
get in and out fast,
though, huh?
153
00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:08,203
We haven't had sex
in 14 months.
154
00:05:08,252 --> 00:05:09,712
We were married 20 years.
155
00:05:09,713 --> 00:05:11,284
Well, that's a nice,
round number.
156
00:05:11,285 --> 00:05:12,076
Yeah.
157
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:15,288
My restless leg syndrome,
like that's a reason to leave?
158
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:16,368
Well, you know,
everybody has -159
00:05:16,369 --> 00:05:19,543
especially after all

his habits and requests!

160
00:05:19,544 --> 00:05:23,503
God! I've done more paddling
than Lewis and Clark!
161
00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:25,286
Hey, Stace, you out there?
162
00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:27,600
Oh, she's gone. People leave.
163
00:05:27,601 --> 00:05:29,409
Well, you know,
i-if there's anything
164
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,820
that I can do to help you -165
00:05:30,821 --> 00:05:31,807
Could I stay with you?
166
00:05:31,808 --> 00:05:32,808
What's that?
167
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:37,106
So, Larry's allowed to sit
on the couch and I'm not?
168
00:05:37,107 --> 00:05:38,911
Well, Larry is white.
169
00:05:38,912 --> 00:05:40,219
Hey, you chose me.
170
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:42,553
Oh, uh, that's not what I meant.
171
00:05:44,892 --> 00:05:46,632
- Hello?
- Hey, Cam.
172
00:05:46,633 --> 00:05:47,399
So, listen, you remember
173
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,682

my -- my new friend
at work Brenda, right?
174
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,422
Who?
175
00:05:50,423 --> 00:05:51,989
That's right -- the pretty one.
176
00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:53,980
Uh, so, she and her husband are -177
00:05:53,981 --> 00:05:55,254
are going through
some problems at home,
178
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:55,903
and she was wondering
179
00:05:55,904 --> 00:05:58,094
if she might be able
to stay at our house.
180
00:05:58,095 --> 00:05:59,818
Oh, my gosh.
Yes, of course.
181
00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:01,684
Oh, shoot and darn it!
182
00:06:01,685 --> 00:06:03,080
I thought we had something.
183
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,923
Mitchell, I know
what you're doing.
184
00:06:04,924 --> 00:06:07,478
Ahh, there's no way
we can reschedule, huh?
185
00:06:07,479 --> 00:06:08,341
Fight your instincts.
186
00:06:08,342 --> 00:06:10,900
This is a chance for you to
show some real compassion.

187
00:06:11,656 --> 00:06:14,294
- I need a Zoloft.
- Okay. Okay.
188
00:06:14,295 --> 00:06:15,685
Well, I agree with all that,
189
00:06:15,686 --> 00:06:17,529
but I -- I am being nice!
190
00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:20,146
Okay? I -- I-I-I talked to her.
191
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,051
I-I asked her if there was
anything I could do to help.
192
00:06:22,052 --> 00:06:24,425
But I -- I didn't mean it.
Nobody ever means it.
193
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,017
Mitchell, you want this
growth in your life.
194
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:28,252
That's why you asked her.
You're just scared.
195
00:06:28,253 --> 00:06:31,539
No, no, it was a completely
hollow offer and -196
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:32,489
yeah, that -- that's right.
197
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,717
Okay, George and Wendy Hollowoffer.
198
00:06:33,718 --> 00:06:35,077
Dinner at 7:30.
Okay, bye-bye.
199
00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:36,965
You need this, and
I need something nice

200
00:06:36,966 --> 00:06:38,827
to write about you
in our Christmas letter.
201
00:06:38,828 --> 00:06:40,398
I love you, too. Goodbye.
202
00:06:40,751 --> 00:06:43,485
So... bad news, huh?
203
00:06:44,713 --> 00:06:47,538
Well, only if you hate home cooking.
204
00:06:49,393 --> 00:06:50,521
- You're the best!
- So -205
00:06:52,474 --> 00:06:54,214
I think you got
some of my Zoloft.
206
00:06:54,215 --> 00:06:55,536
That's okay. I could use it.
207
00:06:59,568 --> 00:07:01,458
Bark Mitzvah -what a concept.
208
00:07:01,459 --> 00:07:03,854
Beagles and lox, dog briskets.
209
00:07:03,855 --> 00:07:06,696
Whoever's in charge
of the wordplay, bravo.
210
00:07:06,733 --> 00:07:08,082
Is this for dogs or for people?
211
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:09,998
I hope it's for people.
I've had four of them.
212
00:07:10,382 --> 00:07:12,205
- Are you having fun?
- Ay, yes.

213
00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:15,667
Before today, I had never
seen a gravy fountain.
214
00:07:15,781 --> 00:07:19,369
Oh, Gumdrop, look!
Stella's here!
215
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:21,422
Everybody, let's get a picture.
216
00:07:22,661 --> 00:07:24,832
Pupparazzi! How great is that?
217
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,686
Everybody squeeze in.
218
00:07:27,886 --> 00:07:29,475
Be careful of her cysts.
She'll nip you.
219
00:07:29,476 --> 00:07:30,475
O-okay.
220
00:07:30,476 --> 00:07:32,531
Okay, one more.
Doodles blinked.
221
00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:34,592
Now, really get tight this time.
222
00:07:34,991 --> 00:07:36,061
No! No, no, no!
223
00:07:36,062 --> 00:07:38,435
- Enough. Enough.
- Oh, Gloria -- Gloria.
224
00:07:38,774 --> 00:07:39,846
Gloria, honey, I -- listen.
225
00:07:39,847 --> 00:07:41,029
I-I know you're not
a dog person.
226
00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:42,299

No, I'm okay with the dogs.

227
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,137
I'm just not a dog-person person.
228
00:07:45,537 --> 00:07:47,913
You said that this party
was going to be normal.
229
00:07:47,914 --> 00:07:49,077
It's just fun.
230
00:07:49,342 --> 00:07:51,977
There's a buffet and
an open bar for dogs.
231
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,517
My cousin got married on a raft.
232
00:07:54,534 --> 00:07:57,393
I tried to play along, Jay,
but -- but this is crazy.
233
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,726
I have to go home.
234
00:07:58,829 --> 00:08:00,114
Gloria, now,
do you think it's fair
235
00:08:00,115 --> 00:08:02,122
to use the word "crazy" about a -236
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,095
I-I'll see you at home, Gloria.
237
00:08:09,545 --> 00:08:11,662
Oh, thank you so much, you guys.
238
00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:13,959
God, where were you when I was
looking for the perfect man?
239
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,150
Well, probably in Missouri
240

00:08:15,151 --> 00:08:16,354

at a bar called Kansas City Meats
241
00:08:16,355 --> 00:08:18,449
- doing the same thing.
- Funny!
242
00:08:19,697 --> 00:08:21,454
- Look at that smile.
- What?
243
00:08:21,455 --> 00:08:23,749
That's what being nice feels like.
244
00:08:23,750 --> 00:08:25,720
- I like it.
- I'm proud of you.
245
00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:26,845
Well, I'm just letting a person
246
00:08:26,846 --> 00:08:28,295
I barely know sleep in my home.
247
00:08:28,296 --> 00:08:29,999
I don't know if I'd use
the word "hero," but...
248
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,606
"Hero"?
249
00:08:30,607 --> 00:08:32,568
Stop it.
You're embarrassing me.
250
00:08:34,175 --> 00:08:35,413
Oh, god.
251
00:08:36,442 --> 00:08:38,068
Hey, you guys have a cat?
252
00:08:38,069 --> 00:08:40,057
Um, how about I
freshen up that wine, huh?
253
00:08:40,058 --> 00:08:41,373
- Oh, no. I am good.

- Okay, um...
254
00:08:41,374 --> 00:08:42,381
In fact, Cam, what are -255
00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:44,782
what are we doing
in the living room, here?
256
00:08:44,783 --> 00:08:45,379
You know?
257
00:08:45,379 --> 00:08:46,051
Yeah, oh, you know what?
258
00:08:46,052 --> 00:08:48,039
We haven't even given Brenda
a tour of our Ga-- uh, garage.
259
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:48,797
- Our -- Our garage.
260
00:08:48,798 --> 00:08:50,115
Oh, no. I don't like garages.
261
00:08:50,116 --> 00:08:52,591
That's where Doug kept
his precious sailboat.
262
00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:53,614
No eating on the boat.
263
00:08:53,615 --> 00:08:54,733
No drinking on the boat.
264
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:57,180
All because the one time
I went on the boat, I spilled.
265
00:08:57,181 --> 00:08:59,834
- Well, guess what. Boats go like this.
- Oh, geez.
266
00:09:00,046 --> 00:09:01,922
You know?! And I'm like...

267
00:09:03,063 --> 00:09:06,057
Who -- who loves a thing
more than a person?
268
00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:07,455
A monster.
269
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,196
Have we shown you our shed?
270
00:09:09,197 --> 00:09:10,260
There's a shed.
271
00:09:10,391 --> 00:09:12,736
He knew what he was getting
into when he married me.
272
00:09:13,127 --> 00:09:14,328
I'm a little messy.
273
00:09:14,355 --> 00:09:16,685
Well, guess what, Doug!
274
00:09:16,907 --> 00:09:18,361
Life's a little messy.
275
00:09:18,543 --> 00:09:21,406
Okay, my sinuses leak,
my -- my ears run,
276
00:09:21,407 --> 00:09:24,350
and I have hyperactive
sweat glands, but...
277
00:09:25,401 --> 00:09:27,080
You know what?
I do need a refill.
278
00:09:27,081 --> 00:09:28,081
Yeah.
279
00:09:28,733 --> 00:09:30,961
Well, I'm not surprised.
She's losing a lot of fluids.
280
00:09:30,962 --> 00:09:33,959

- It's as if Doug was over here.

- I know. I saw that.
281
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,008
Alec!
282
00:09:37,851 --> 00:09:39,837
His dumb dad got transferred
to dumb Africa
283
00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:41,705
to operate
on some dumb babies.
284
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:44,948
So fixing their hearts
is worth breaking mine?
285
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:46,045
It's kind of worth it.
286
00:09:46,046 --> 00:09:48,050
He can do like
six operations a day.
287
00:09:48,051 --> 00:09:50,330
Yeah. I-I-I understand.
I'm sorry I'm lashing out.
288
00:09:50,331 --> 00:09:53,000
I-I just really like you.
289
00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,472
I still like you.
290
00:09:54,634 --> 00:09:56,174
You're making this worse.
291
00:09:57,045 --> 00:09:58,090
Bye, Alec.
292
00:09:58,125 --> 00:09:59,145
Bye, Alex.
293
00:10:01,389 --> 00:10:03,257
I knew you couldn't leave
without one last kiss!

294
00:10:03,258 --> 00:10:04,850
We can work this out!
295
00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:08,629
I'm -- I'm -- I'm gonna
regret that, aren't I?
296
00:10:08,795 --> 00:10:11,113
Uh, I was hoping you could
throw this away for me.
297
00:10:11,484 --> 00:10:12,851
Yeah. Sure.
298
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:22,764
So, honey, we've been talking,
299
00:10:22,765 --> 00:10:24,845
and we want to meet
your boyfriend.
300
00:10:25,175 --> 00:10:26,476
You just missed him.
301
00:10:26,762 --> 00:10:27,623
He was here?
302
00:10:27,624 --> 00:10:30,745
He just left. This is his cup.
303
00:10:30,746 --> 00:10:32,926
Oh, look at that.
304
00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:35,473
Oh, it looks like "Alex."
305
00:10:35,474 --> 00:10:38,189
His name is Alec.
The "C" just got smudged.
306
00:10:38,469 --> 00:10:41,184
Honey, his name is Alec.
But the "C" got smudged.
307
00:10:41,185 --> 00:10:42,940

Yeah, um, well,

why don't you just text him
308
00:10:42,941 --> 00:10:44,520
and then invite him
back for dinner?
309
00:10:44,521 --> 00:10:46,067
I can't. He broke up with me.
310
00:10:46,068 --> 00:10:47,985
Oh, no.
311
00:10:48,444 --> 00:10:50,030
He's moving to Africa.
312
00:10:50,257 --> 00:10:52,788
Because they need
grocery models in Africa.
313
00:10:52,789 --> 00:10:54,895
Honey, I'm so sorry.
314
00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:55,905
They broke up.
315
00:10:56,669 --> 00:10:57,750
I miss him.
316
00:10:57,751 --> 00:10:59,210
Oh, don't worry.
317
00:10:59,211 --> 00:11:02,507
Soon it will be like
he never existed.
318
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:04,358
Okay.
319
00:11:04,919 --> 00:11:07,086
Ay Dios mo, Manny.
What's going on with Joe?
320
00:11:07,114 --> 00:11:08,289
He's a drug addict.
321

00:11:08,290 --> 00:11:10,905

After two hours of
mind-liquefying "Zooboo,"
322
00:11:10,906 --> 00:11:13,675
I briefly put on a classic movie,
and he freaked out.
323
00:11:13,828 --> 00:11:14,773
If he could walk better,
324
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,609
I'd seriously suggest
a 12-step program.
325
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:19,255
Ay, no, Joe.
No more "Zooboo."
326
00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:19,978
Thank you.
327
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:22,506
Ay, no. Turn the big TV off.
328
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:25,645
If he sees it on, he's going
to want to watch his show.
329
00:11:27,504 --> 00:11:28,544
Why are you home?
330
00:11:28,546 --> 00:11:31,189
Buster's party
was a Bark Mitzvah.
331
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,995
I don't know why Jay would
take me to this place.
332
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,276
I don't know.
333
00:11:35,363 --> 00:11:36,965
Maybe this dog stuff is his way
334
00:11:36,966 --> 00:11:38,958

of trying to find a
common interest with you.
335
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:40,150
It's hard.
336
00:11:40,151 --> 00:11:43,658
You don't like golf or scotch
or Eisenhower documentaries.
337
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:45,546
It's true. I don't like Ike.
338
00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:46,585
But the people in this party,
339
00:11:46,586 --> 00:11:48,453
they are so obsessed with dogs.
340
00:11:48,454 --> 00:11:51,726
Even the punch bowl was
in the shape of a toilet.
341
00:11:51,727 --> 00:11:53,213
Well, it's not like Jay
342
00:11:53,214 --> 00:11:54,896
doesn't get out of his
comfort zone for you.
343
00:11:54,897 --> 00:11:57,153
He's going to your
green-card picnic tomorrow.
344
00:11:57,275 --> 00:11:58,328
You're right.
345
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:02,067
He even bought star-spangled
sombreros for everybody.
346
00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:03,143
It's the wrong country.
347
00:12:03,144 --> 00:12:06,121
He never listens,
but -- but he's sweet.

348
00:12:07,002 --> 00:12:07,602
You know what?
349
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:10,011
I should go back to that party.
350
00:12:10,508 --> 00:12:11,788
You guys want to come?
351
00:12:12,386 --> 00:12:13,362
Might as well.
352
00:12:13,363 --> 00:12:15,517
They had a pretty good
spread at Buster's bris.
353
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,755
Okay, let's get
this woman into bed
354
00:12:17,756 --> 00:12:20,172
and, in the morning, out of
the house as fast as we can.
355
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,942
Honestly, I don't know
how straight guys do it.
356
00:12:21,943 --> 00:12:23,753
Probably without those
hand gestures.
357
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,062
So, nice bath?
358
00:12:26,383 --> 00:12:28,791
Oh, yeah, the best.
I'm so ready for bed.
359
00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:30,749
Okay. Ooh, by the way,
I left a ring in there.
360
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,828
Oh, well, we'll get at it with
some bleach in the morning.

361
00:12:32,829 --> 00:12:33,908
No, no, no, my wedding ring.
362
00:12:33,909 --> 00:12:35,210
I just don't feel like
wearing it anymore.
363
00:12:35,211 --> 00:12:36,799
Oh, well, goodbye,
bad memories,
364
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,748
hello to our guest couch,
the cloud.
365
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:41,859
That's a small cloud.
366
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,663
Oh, you know what? It's deceptively comfy.
367
00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:45,063
- I sleep on it all the time.
- Oh.
368
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:46,444
- Yeah, if I don't beat him to it first.
- Really?
369
00:12:46,445 --> 00:12:48,433
Oh, okay. All right.
370
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,324
So, there you are.
371
00:12:49,325 --> 00:12:50,497
Okay. Okay, yeah.
372
00:12:50,498 --> 00:12:52,485
I'm not -- I'm pretty sure
this isn't gonna work.
373
00:12:52,486 --> 00:12:53,726
No, no, this will be fine.
This will be fine.

374
00:12:53,727 --> 00:12:55,516
This is what I always do.
It's not a big deal.
375
00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:57,217
Just make this up nice for you.
376
00:12:57,218 --> 00:12:58,615
There we go. Okay.
377
00:12:58,616 --> 00:12:59,633
See you in the morning.
378
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:01,425
Yeah, but my -- my head's -379
00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:02,991
- Oh.
- What we were thinking?
380
00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:03,722
- Here. Come on.
- There it is right there.
381
00:13:03,723 --> 00:13:05,692
- There you go. Okay. Night-night.
- Night-night.
382
00:13:05,693 --> 00:13:06,693
Hey, guys.
383
00:13:07,566 --> 00:13:08,711
Here's an idea.
384
00:13:08,712 --> 00:13:11,322
What if I just slept on your
couch in the living room?
385
00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:18,207
I'm shaking.
386
00:13:18,208 --> 00:13:19,496
Why? Problem solved.
387
00:13:19,497 --> 00:13:21,836
No, she's making

the whole house shake.

388
00:13:27,958 --> 00:13:30,733
Hey, guys. You're back?
What's going on?
389
00:13:30,832 --> 00:13:34,435
I'm sorry. I love you,
and you love dog parties.
390
00:13:34,436 --> 00:13:36,834
So that means that I love dog parties.
391
00:13:36,835 --> 00:13:38,403
You don't think
it's crazy anymore?
392
00:13:38,446 --> 00:13:39,993
I didn't say that.
393
00:13:40,391 --> 00:13:41,884
But Manny's right.
394
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:45,173
We should get more involved
in each other's activities.
395
00:13:45,365 --> 00:13:46,767
So, this was your idea?
396
00:13:46,768 --> 00:13:49,456
Well, it's sort of the foundation
of any healthy marriage,
397
00:13:49,457 --> 00:13:50,301
but I did bring it up.
398
00:13:50,302 --> 00:13:51,681
This is great!
399
00:13:51,768 --> 00:13:52,683
Well, come on. Give me a hand.
400
00:13:52,684 --> 00:13:54,982
We'll grab you and your
mom an ice-cream bone.

401
00:13:56,262 --> 00:13:57,646
I didn't do much. I just -402
00:13:57,647 --> 00:13:58,722
Ruined my plan, that's all.
403
00:13:58,723 --> 00:13:59,648
I wanted her to leave!
404
00:13:59,649 --> 00:14:00,351
What?
405
00:14:00,352 --> 00:14:01,932
She was supposed
to storm out of here.
406
00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:03,916
And after,
I go home and say,
407
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:05,930
"maybe we should do
some things separately."
408
00:14:05,931 --> 00:14:08,160
I was gonna use
her bailing out of this
409
00:14:08,161 --> 00:14:11,065
as a chip to get out of that
stupid picnic tomorrow.
410
00:14:11,066 --> 00:14:12,235
But now I've got no chip.
411
00:14:12,236 --> 00:14:14,087
Hey, how about next time
you devise a plan
412
00:14:14,088 --> 00:14:16,250
to avoid expressing
a feeling, clue me in.
413
00:14:16,251 --> 00:14:18,387
You can't be clued in.
You're a patsy.

414
00:14:18,388 --> 00:14:20,952
Hey, um, there was talk
of an ice-cream bone?
415
00:14:20,953 --> 00:14:23,984
I made that up, too.
Use your head!
416
00:14:25,666 --> 00:14:27,192
Hey, honey, you alone?
417
00:14:27,710 --> 00:14:30,034
Do you see anyone else in here?
418
00:14:30,297 --> 00:14:31,436
Do you?
419
00:14:32,059 --> 00:14:35,223
Sweetheart, your father and I
think we owe you an apology.
420
00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:36,264
For what?
421
00:14:36,285 --> 00:14:37,628
Well, this morning
when we didn't think
422
00:14:37,629 --> 00:14:38,548
the rose could be for you,
423
00:14:38,549 --> 00:14:40,469
it seemed like maybe
it hurt your feelings.
424
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:41,689
I guess. A little.
425
00:14:41,690 --> 00:14:44,119
I am so sorry
to make you feel bad.
426
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:45,437
And it is completely believable
427
00:14:45,438 --> 00:14:47,047

that you would have an admirer.

428
00:14:47,048 --> 00:14:47,970
Okay.
429
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:48,982
What we're worried about
430
00:14:48,983 --> 00:14:50,772
is that we have created
an environment
431
00:14:50,773 --> 00:14:53,391
in which you feel
it's necessary to...
432
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,602
- Embelli-- Fanta-433
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:56,136
- Exagger-- Oh, my god.
434
00:14:56,137 --> 00:14:57,864
You guys don't think
Alec is real?
435
00:14:57,865 --> 00:15:00,063
Sweetheart, I remember
the pressure there was
436
00:15:00,064 --> 00:15:02,084
to fit in in high school.
437
00:15:02,085 --> 00:15:03,046
So do I. And whether
you try to fit in
438
00:15:03,047 --> 00:15:04,612
by saying you fought
a baby bear
439
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,503
or by making up a boyfriend...
440
00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:08,234

You guys are so unbelievable.

441
00:15:08,235 --> 00:15:09,853
You really think
I'm that pathetic
442
00:15:09,854 --> 00:15:12,468
that I'd have to create
some imaginary boyfriend?
443
00:15:12,469 --> 00:15:14,336
You know what's not imaginary?
444
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:15,369
Your feelings.
445
00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:16,723
Okay, don't! don't!
446
00:15:16,724 --> 00:15:18,726
F.Y.I., I changed my
Facebook status to "single"
447
00:15:18,727 --> 00:15:20,638
about an hour ago,
and guess what.
448
00:15:20,639 --> 00:15:21,977
I already have a date.
449
00:15:22,142 --> 00:15:23,697
You don't believe me, do you?
450
00:15:23,698 --> 00:15:25,774
Sweetheart, you've had two
boyfriends in 30 seconds.
451
00:15:25,775 --> 00:15:27,231
That practically Haley's record.
452
00:15:27,232 --> 00:15:29,719
Well, he's real.
His name is Teddy.
453
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,094
His name is... Teddy?

454
00:15:32,326 --> 00:15:33,326
Yeah.
455
00:15:34,102 --> 00:15:35,520
Teddy Keyes.
456
00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:39,333
And what do we know
about this young man?
457
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:41,161
He's new to our school.
458
00:15:41,162 --> 00:15:45,093
He works at some mattress
store -- Mattress King.
459
00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:46,436
And he's a bit of a bad boy.
460
00:15:46,437 --> 00:15:48,326
He had a little problem
with shoplifting.
461
00:15:48,327 --> 00:15:50,110
He spent some time in juvie.
462
00:15:50,111 --> 00:15:51,639
But, you know,
he's not really my type.
463
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:52,486
He's just a rebound.
464
00:15:52,487 --> 00:15:54,152
So I guess it doesn't
really matter.
465
00:15:54,659 --> 00:15:55,958
Why am I even
talking to you guys?
466
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:57,130
Leave!
467
00:15:58,813 --> 00:15:59,959

Get out!
468
00:16:03,514 --> 00:16:04,747
Did you see the look in her eyes?
469
00:16:04,748 --> 00:16:06,524
Like she believed
everything she was saying.
470
00:16:06,525 --> 00:16:08,701
That's terrifying. Like
this guy I knew in college.
471
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:10,601
He was always telling me
about these "crazy parties"
472
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:11,383
that were "full of women."
473
00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:12,439
But when I'd ask him
where they were,
474
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,224
he'd give me a fake address.
475
00:16:14,487 --> 00:16:16,280
Makes me wonder what
else she's making up.
476
00:16:16,281 --> 00:16:18,505
I have never met that
girl she tutors in math.
477
00:16:18,506 --> 00:16:19,788
Esther Choi? Me neither.
478
00:16:19,789 --> 00:16:21,131
Because she doesn't exist!
479
00:16:21,132 --> 00:16:22,828
There is not an
Esther Choi on earth
480
00:16:22,829 --> 00:16:23,863
who needs math tutoring.

481
00:16:23,864 --> 00:16:25,241
She needs help, Claire.
482
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:26,036
What do we do?
483
00:16:26,037 --> 00:16:27,787
I mean, should we send her
back to that therapist?
484
00:16:27,788 --> 00:16:29,061
The one we've never met?
485
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,742
No! Wait!
486
00:16:30,743 --> 00:16:32,089
Don't open it! Move away!
487
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:33,853
It's for me! Move!
488
00:16:37,109 --> 00:16:39,081
Damn. You look hot.
489
00:16:39,543 --> 00:16:40,918
The roses are from you, Teddy?
490
00:16:40,919 --> 00:16:43,399
Yeah, I met a guy in juvie
who works at the cemetery.
491
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,080
They got flowers
all over the place.
492
00:16:45,306 --> 00:16:46,823
Oh, I also got you this.
493
00:16:47,477 --> 00:16:48,835
Sweet. Let's go.
494
00:16:48,836 --> 00:16:49,775
My other one of these cracked,

495
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,119
so you can use this one.
496
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,120
Okay.
497
00:16:53,129 --> 00:16:55,261
Yes! Our little girl isn't crazy!
498
00:16:55,262 --> 00:16:56,244
Teddy's real!
499
00:16:56,245 --> 00:16:58,805
- Real freaky!
- I'm going!
500
00:17:03,187 --> 00:17:04,426
Cam, you're snoring.
501
00:17:04,427 --> 00:17:05,725
What? Sorry.
502
00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:08,761
Was that me?
503
00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:10,394
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
504
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,481
What is she doing out here?
505
00:17:12,482 --> 00:17:14,851
- Well she has that restless leg.
- Both of them?
506
00:17:14,852 --> 00:17:16,476
Oh, my gosh,
get the ice cream!
507
00:17:17,608 --> 00:17:18,898
What do we do?
Should we wake her up?
508
00:17:18,899 --> 00:17:20,327
And say what?

509
00:17:20,412 --> 00:17:22,304
"Would you mind terribly
getting off our couch?
510
00:17:22,305 --> 00:17:23,498
You seem to be glazing it."
511
00:17:23,499 --> 00:17:25,026
Do you have a better idea?
512
00:17:25,542 --> 00:17:26,850
Okay, okay,
go around the back.
513
00:17:26,851 --> 00:17:28,401
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
514
00:17:28,774 --> 00:17:30,622
We'll get this underneath her.
515
00:17:30,871 --> 00:17:33,391
Once, I helped a sow give
birth to nine baby piglets
516
00:17:33,392 --> 00:17:34,302
on our living room floor.
517
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,459
Didn't get a drop of
nothin' on the linoleum.
518
00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:38,219
We're gonna get back to why
the sow was in the living room.
519
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:39,911
Lady Di's wedding.
It was beautiful.
520
00:17:39,912 --> 00:17:40,855
Cam, she's gonna wake up.
521
00:17:40,856 --> 00:17:42,372
Oh, please, she's got
enough pills in her,

522
00:17:42,373 --> 00:17:43,968
she's gonna rattle
like a maraca.
523
00:17:43,969 --> 00:17:44,969
Roll!
524
00:17:46,075 --> 00:17:48,147
Doug, no, I don't wanna.
525
00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:50,180
Okay, okay, what do I do?
What do I do?
526
00:17:50,181 --> 00:17:51,414
You come back around this way.
527
00:17:51,415 --> 00:17:52,643
No, Doug.
528
00:17:52,644 --> 00:17:55,104
Now, what we're gonna do
is I'll push her this way
529
00:17:55,105 --> 00:17:56,242
and pull the blanket.
530
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,946
- Okay, I got to pull her?
- Okay.
531
00:18:00,882 --> 00:18:02,122
I'm losing her. I'm losing her.
532
00:18:04,812 --> 00:18:06,684
This could work, too.
It's fine.
533
00:18:10,782 --> 00:18:12,378
What -- what happened?
534
00:18:12,379 --> 00:18:13,423
You were having
a really bad dream,
535
00:18:13,424 --> 00:18:15,956

and then you rolled right off

of our uncomfortable sofa.
536
00:18:15,957 --> 00:18:18,166
I'm sorry. I-I was lonely.
537
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:19,335
I came out here,
538
00:18:19,336 --> 00:18:21,666
and then I wound up
waking up the whole house.
539
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,873
I'm the worst houseguest
in the world!
540
00:18:23,874 --> 00:18:25,069
- Don't.
- Don't.
541
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,576
Doug was right.
I'm gonna die alone.
542
00:18:27,577 --> 00:18:28,766
- Don't.
- Don't.
543
00:18:29,712 --> 00:18:30,373
Okay, come on.
544
00:18:30,374 --> 00:18:32,415
Can you please be quiet?
545
00:18:32,416 --> 00:18:35,260
I'm so sorry, Lily.
It's all my fault.
546
00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:36,287
My head hurts.
547
00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:38,181
- I'm gonna get you some aspirin.
- Okay.
548
00:18:40,642 --> 00:18:42,395

Cam, are we terrible people?

549
00:18:42,396 --> 00:18:44,360
For protecting a Vanderkoff?
550
00:18:44,361 --> 00:18:45,500
He hanged himself last year.
551
00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:47,221
It's not like they're
making more of those.
552
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,074
We just rolled a bipolar divorcee
face-first onto a hardwood floor.
553
00:18:50,075 --> 00:18:50,940
All to protect a couch.
554
00:18:50,941 --> 00:18:53,625
It's not just a couch.
Our one nice thing.
555
00:18:53,626 --> 00:18:56,524
The last seven years have
been about sticky countertops
556
00:18:56,525 --> 00:18:59,261
and horsy shower curtains
and childproof locks.
557
00:18:59,262 --> 00:19:00,060
Do you know what's in this drawer?
558
00:19:00,061 --> 00:19:01,273
- I don't know what's in this drawer.
- I have no idea.
559
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,927
Look, I know
it's frustrating, all right?
560
00:19:02,928 --> 00:19:05,390
But is that really a reason
to choose a thing over a person?
561
00:19:05,391 --> 00:19:07,979

I mean, come on.

We're no better than Doug.
562
00:19:09,485 --> 00:19:11,936
I guess it's not a great
example to set for Lily.
563
00:19:12,112 --> 00:19:14,220
Maybe we don't
deserve one nice thing.
564
00:19:15,175 --> 00:19:17,765
"And when the sun came out,
all the turtles,
565
00:19:17,766 --> 00:19:20,607
from Abner to Zeke,
had fun at the picnic."
566
00:19:20,608 --> 00:19:22,384
"A rainy day for turtles."
567
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:25,120
It always makes Lily feel better.
568
00:19:25,121 --> 00:19:27,024
I guess she just thought that...
569
00:19:27,095 --> 00:19:29,312
We do have one nice thing.
570
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,372
"And a beautiful rain--"
571
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,457
Well, we don't have to watch it die.
Come on.
572
00:19:39,116 --> 00:19:40,171
Let's go, Jay!
573
00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:42,793
We're supposed to be
at the picnic in 20 minutes!
574
00:19:42,794 --> 00:19:44,362
They've been living

in a van for six years.

575
00:19:44,363 --> 00:19:45,946
They can wait a little longer.
576
00:19:47,064 --> 00:19:48,921
So, today, instead
of watching the game,
577
00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:50,962
I'll be playing lawn darts
with Colombians,
578
00:19:50,963 --> 00:19:52,884
thanks to you
not using your brain.
579
00:19:52,885 --> 00:19:53,908
Here we go -- "The Sting."
580
00:19:53,909 --> 00:19:55,671
Well, someone's getting
what they want today.
581
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,359
You finally get to watch
your precious movie, huh?
582
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,155
"A classic tale about a long con."
583
00:20:00,156 --> 00:20:01,309
Well, you're welcome.
584
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:03,801
Wait a minute.
585
00:20:03,879 --> 00:20:05,633
"Rogues and double-crossers abound.
586
00:20:05,634 --> 00:20:07,305
Who will outsmart whom?"
587
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:08,454
Son of a bitch.
588

00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,706

You knew I was using
the Bark Mitzvah
589
00:20:10,707 --> 00:20:11,974
as a bargaining chip.
590
00:20:11,975 --> 00:20:14,225
That's why you talked
Gloria into coming back -591
00:20:14,226 --> 00:20:16,886
so I couldn't weasel my way
out of this stupid picnic
592
00:20:16,887 --> 00:20:18,582
and you'd get the big TV.
593
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,158
Well, I'm onto you now.
594
00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:22,988
I was just reading off
the DVD box.
595
00:20:24,638 --> 00:20:26,022
I mean, can you believe
596
00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:28,191
all the stuff Brenda
brought for one night?
597
00:20:28,192 --> 00:20:29,719
I know. Look at all
this stuff over here.
598
00:20:29,754 --> 00:20:31,554
Super replenishing balm?
599
00:20:31,555 --> 00:20:34,158
Uh, pore-reducing booster serum?
600
00:20:34,335 --> 00:20:36,630
Anti-aging buffing beads?
601
00:20:36,631 --> 00:20:38,632
It must be so hard to be a girl.

602
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:39,623
I know. I know.
603
00:20:39,624 --> 00:20:40,968
It really makes you
worry about the world
604
00:20:40,969 --> 00:20:42,111
we're sending Lily out into.
605
00:20:42,112 --> 00:20:44,275
Well, there's so much pressure
on girls to be perfect.
606
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:45,340
- You ready?
- Yep.
607
00:20:46,605 --> 00:20:47,326
The thing is, Cam,
608
00:20:47,327 --> 00:20:49,192
all we can do is instill
our beliefs in her
609
00:20:49,193 --> 00:20:51,170
and hope that she
makes good choices.
610
00:20:51,171 --> 00:20:52,063
Calming mister?
611
00:20:52,064 --> 00:20:53,488
It does feel nice
to talk about it.
612
00:20:53,489 --> 00:20:54,984
No, this is a calming mister.
613
00:20:54,985 --> 00:20:56,776
- I just bought this.
- Oh, god, yes.
614
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:57,776
Let's try it.

615
00:20:57,777 --> 00:21:05,827
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