Written Task 2

Run? Hide? War.

Topic: A diary entry based on the short story On the Rainy
River

Dear Diary,
Today was life changing? It was all a quick blur of moments, just like the bullets that will
soon be heading towards me. Just like the lives of soldiers thrown into the heat of battle. War.
That was where I was headed.
Even after making my decision I had no idea if it was the right one. Live a safer life of
cowardice, a life of constantly running away? Or live a life of danger and risk of death, but
honoring my country? What would anyone else do? I made my decision on the Rainy River.
Probably the most important decision Ive ever made.
I have so many questions in mind. What will my future be like? After all this chaos
eventually ends, what will my life be like? Why did they choose someone like ME to fight in
a war? I couldve been a scholar. One of the best. Top of the class. A genius over geniuses. I
couldve gotten married too. Live a normal life with the white picket fence and a beautiful
wife and kids, maybe even a stable job aside from that hellish slaughterhouse. But no! They
say war never changes, but war changes everything! I dont even know what this war is! Who
are we fighting for? What are we fighting for? Who are we fighting? What are we fighting?
Its bad enough my fear of death overwhelms me, but the uncertainty of what kind of war Im
in? Just makes me want to turn my back once again.
I was so close to running, you have no idea. A gap of 20 yards between two different lives.
One of war and honor, one of freedom and shame. A gap of 20 yards from living or dying,
and I didnt know which one was which. A gap of 20 yards and I didnt take my chances. Of
course I stuck with going back! I cant leave my family behind with an image of their son as a
traitor. I cant leave my country who would hunt me down if I fled. I cant bear the shame of
being called a pussy. I made the decision to fight, because I was embarrassed not to. But then
again, I cant bear the fear. The fear of losing my life. The fear of certain death. My insides

feel like theyre having a wrestle even as I sit here in the cabin I was allowed to stay in. I
wouldve crossed the border if it werent for an old man, a friend.
Elroy Berdahl. Not a man of many words, but a man of wisdom. People receive blessings
from God, but I think Ive had the privilege of meeting God himself. Any man would have
been grateful to have Berdahl at his side, especially when making a decision like I did. Even
as I burst into tears the old man understood. He said nothing. Heck, if I was him I wouldve
laughed at myself. Thankfully Berdahl isnt me. Even in his silence he showed me the right
path.
Sitting here tends to make my mind wander. How would people I know react when they hear
OBrien, the traitorous wretch.? How would my family react to the headline on the New
York Times, Traitor Tim: The man who fled? How would my people treat me then? I didnt
like the thought of it. I feel vomit rising up my neck just from the thought of absolute
humiliation. I didnt want my family to suffer the same fate. But are these valid reasons to go
to war? Because I fear embarrassment? Because I fear embarrassment for my family? To me,
it was. I wont fight to kill. I wont fight to win. I would fight to survive, to live, and for my
family. I wonder if there were other pacifists. They would know how I feel. Pushed into a war
without any intentions of killing? Thats like eating soup without water. Its a long spiral
staircase down to the depths of hell for me.
Surprisingly, the draft notice was still in my pocket. I was hoping it would disappear, so I had
an excuse not to join the infantry. Maybe its a sign that I was destined to go to war, who
knows. I dont know if I can sleep tonight, even after writing all my thoughts and feelings
down. There wasnt any real way to escape this aside from death itself. Its all a matter of
What if? from now on. What if this wasnt the best decision? What if indeed.... I guess this
is all for tonight. Shut-eye seems like a good idea. OBrien, over and out.

Rationale
The content of the task is based on the short story, On the Rainy River written by Tim
OBrien. The task composed acts as a fictional representation of OBriens thoughts after
deciding to fight in the war. During the night after the boat ride with Elroy Berdahl, sitting in
his cabin, OBrien composes a diary entry expressing his thoughts on his decision, the present
and how the future may turn out to be. I chose this particular topic and text type because it
was the most interesting part of the short story, as well as the area where the strongest mix of
emotions are present. A diary entry is also one of the most personal text types, as it is as if the
writer is pouring out his feelings to a friend.
The composition appeals to audiences ranging from students to mature adults, since it is an
emotional outpour from a young man whose decision might lead him to his death. People
such as war veterans, soldiers or even to-be soldiers may be able to relate to the composition,
as it is universal as it is personal. The purpose of the task was to present what OBrien felt in
his dilemma and indecision whether or not to cross to Canada. The mixture of emotions fit in
perfectly with a text type such as a diary entry, which is deeply personal. The task can also be
used in a different context, how some people are also caught in their own indecision that
could mean good or bad, which brings out how universal the plot of every short story is in
Tim OBriens works.

Bibliography

O'Brien, Tim. "On The Rainy River." The Things They Carried: A Work of
Fiction. New York: Broadway, 1998. 93-105. Print.