ScreenwritingColumn01[SAVE|SEND]

Asa
screenwriter,
yourchoiceof
filmpremiseis
yourcalling
card.Notyour
wittydialog,not
yourclever
descriptions.Not
yourknowledge
ofstructureand
subplotand
subtext.

AFootintheDoor
byTerryRossio
Sohey,here'sthedeal.
Igetpaidtowritescreenplays.It'sadeeplysatisfyingjob,with
absurdlyhighpayandlotsofvacationtime.Yougettohangout
withpeoplewhoaretalented,andpeoplewhoarefamous.Some
areevenboth.There'stheopportunitytotravel.Heck,there'seven
theopportunityinsomesmallwaytoMakeaDifference.To
promotetheForcesofGood.Tomaybeleaveafewmuddy
footprintsinthecinematicSandsofTime.
Inshort,heck,it'sadreamjob,thebestjobintheworld.Ajob
anyFoolwouldwant.
I'mheretotellyouhowtogetit.
That'sthepurposeofthiscolumn.Ifyou'vegotacousinwho'sa
creativeexecutiveatParamountandcangetyouontoanopen
assignment,thiscolumnisnotforyou.Ifyou'reanindependent
filmmakerwiththeresourcestoshootyourownscript,thiscolumn
isnotforyou.Ifyouwanttowritehighartthatnobodycan
understand,thiscolumnisnotforyou.
ButifyouwritescreenplaysandwanttosellonetoHollywood,
I'myourman.Iwanttohelpyoumakeasale,getanassignment,
getintothegame.I'lltrytomarkoffsomeofthecommonpitfalls
ofthebusinesssoyouwon'tfallinanddon'thavetowastetime
climbingout.Mywritingpartner,TedElliott,andIstruggledfor
fiveyearstryingtogetourfirstpaycheckandthatelusiveWriter's
Guildcard.I'dliketothinkthat,byreadingthiscolumn,awriter
couldcutthattimeatleastinhalf.
AlongthewayI'llthrowininformationnotcommonlyavailable
fromothersources.Likehowtowriteforanimation.Likehow
muchmoneyyoucanexpecttomakeonyourfirstdealandafter
yourfirsthit.Likewhothebestagentsare,andtheworst
executives.Likethemanywaystocheatyourscript'spagecount.
EverylittletrickofthetradeandtheoryI'vecollectedoverthepast
tenyears,providedheretohelpyougetafootinthedoor.
Soundgood?
Okay.Let'sgettowork.

"TheWarnerBros.HallwayTest"
Here'salittlescenarioIwantyoutovisualize.Icallit"The
WarnerBros.HallwayTest."Fixthesefollowingscenesinyour
mindbecauseifyou'regoingtobeasuccessfulscreenwriter,
youmustpassthistest:
Burbank,California.TheWarnerBros.filmstudio.Bigtrees,
oldHollywoodstylebuildings.Stiflingvalleyheatandthroat

Theveryfirst
decisionyou
makeas
awriter'what
ismyfilmabout'
willdefine
yourcreative
instinctsinthe
eyesofthe
industry.

tighteningsmog.PorschesandJaguarsparkedinthecirculardrive.
Thelawnisverygreen.
Inside,aguardsitsinthefoyer,greetingvisitorsastheystepin
fromthebrightsunlight.Itiscoolerinhere.Behindtheguard
stationisastairwayyou'renotallowedtoclimb.Toyourleftisa
hallway.
Now,thishallwayisveryimportant.
Liningthewallsarehugephotographsfromclassicmotion
pictures,blownupfromtheoriginal35mmframetolifesize.In
thefirstone,HumphreyBogartholdsagunonPeterLorre.Also
liningthewallsaredoorways,mostofthedoorsopen,mostwith
secretariesinside.
Onlythey'renotcalledsecretariesthey'recalled'assistants'or
'managersofdevelopment'sometimesthey'rejustcalled'readers.'
Infact,ifyouslipbytheguard,andgodowntothethirddooron
theright,andpeekinside,there'sawomanthere,readinga
screenplay.
Yourscreenplay.
HernameisFrancine,andrightnowshe'sonaboutpage42...
whichisprettygood,consideringthatherphoneringsaboutevery
30seconds...andshe'sinthemiddleofrevisingherbosses'
upcomingNewYorkitinerary,trackingdownagentsandjuggling
aboutabillionotherimportantdetails.Butrightnow,the
importantthingtoyouisthatFrancineisalsoreadingyourscript.
Quick,backouttothehallway.Comingthiswayisyourtypical
developmentexecutive,or'vicepresidentinchargeofcreative
affairs.'We'llcallthisoneLarry.Larry'sanaffableguy,dresses
well,andknowsthevalueofagoodscreenplay.Hiscareerwas
madewhenhepluckedaspecscriptoutoftheslushpile,attached
abigstartoit,andthefilmgotmadeandbecomeamajorhit.
Larryneedsanotherscreenplay.
Athissideisabearded,bespectacledguy,wearingloose
clothes,carryingaleatherbackpack.He'sa'hot'directorwe'll
callhimTimfreshoutoffilmschool.Timisknowntobe
'visuallyverycreative'whichisanotherwayofsayinghecanfilm
buthecan'twrite.
Tim,too,needsascreenplay.
SoLarryandTimreachFrancine'sdoorway,sticktheirheadsin,
maybeaskforaDietCoke.Larryhisproducerradareveron
alertnoticesthatshe'sreadingascreenplay."Sowhat'sit
about?"heasks.
NowIrelatethissceneinsuchelaboratedetailbecauseitis
preciselyatthismomentthatyourscreenwritingcareerwillbe
madeorbroken.Alsobecausethesceneissotypical,itcouldbe
playedoutliterallyahundredtimeswithyourscript,inahundred
similarsituations.
Here'swhat'sgoingtohappen.Francineisgoingtorelateyour
screenplay'spremiseinoneortwosentences.AndLarryandTim
aregoingtobeeitherinterested,ornot.And,dependingonwhich
reactiontheyhave,that'showyourcareerwillgo.
WhatyouwouldreallylikeFrancinetosaynextissomething
like:
"It'scool.Medicalstudentsinduceneardeathexperiencesto
investigatetheafterlife."
Orperhaps:
"It'sfunny.Psychicinvestigatorsopenaghostextermination
businessinNewYorkCity."
Oreven:

"It'scalledCOOTIES.Aboygetscooties,startstoturnintoa
girl.Hehastokissacertaingirlinordertocurehimself."
AnyoftheseandLarrywillthenask"Isthereaproducer
attachedtoityet?"andTimwillsay"Who'sdirectingit?Putme
onthelist,willyou?Andsendmeacopy."AndthenLarrywill
say"Whowroteit?Let'smeetthem.Let'sgettheminandseeif
theyhaveanyotherideas.Havetheiragentcallme."
Now,keepinmindthatneitheronehasevenreadthescript.
Theymayneverreadthescript.Allthishappensonthebasisof
justhearingthepremise.
Oh.Andthisiswhatyoudon'twantFrancinetosaywhenshe
describesyourscreenplay:"I'mnotquitesure.Seemstobea
murdermystery,buttheleadcharacterhasn'tdoneverymuchyet."
BecausenowLarryandTimarewanderingbackdownthehall
withtheirDietCokes,thescriptwillgetcovered,thecoveragewill
gointothefile,andthat'sthat.
TheWarnerBros.HallwayTest.It'sbrutal,anditillustratesa
simplepoint:
Asascreenwriter,yourchoiceoffilmpremiseisyourcalling
card.Notyourwittydialog,notyourcleverdescriptions.Notyour
knowledgeofstructureandsubplotandsubtext.
Theveryfirstdecisionyoumakeasawriter'whatismyfilm
about?'willdefineyourcreativeinstinctsintheeyesofthe
industry.Likeactorsanddirectors,youwillalwaysbeknownby
theprojectsyoupick(orinthiscase,bytheprojectsyouinitiate).
YoumustyouMUSTchoosewell.
Mostaspiringscreenwriterssimplydon'tspendenoughtime
choosingtheirconcept.It'sbyfarthemostcommonmistakeIsee
inspecscripts.Thewriterhaslosttheracerightfromthegate.
Monthssometimesyearsarelosttryingtoelevateafilmidea
thatbyitsnatureprobablyhadnohopeofeverbecomingamovie.
Nextcolumn,I'lldescribehowTedandIanalyzefilmideas.I'll
introducethephrase'strangeattractor'ausefullittleconceitof
ours.
Trustme,youneedtoknowwhatastrangeattractoris.
Youneedoneforyourscreenplay.
YouneedtokeepreadingWordplay!

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