There are so many things upon my heart without His understanding and my own experience i would not believe nor do i expect anyone carnal to understand only by His Spirit will you see these things and only by His grace will i continue.... my heart is continually broken before Him my thoughts and actions often grieve Him...The closer i get to Him the more i see, the blacker this world is to me.... Lessening the desire for these fleeting destructive temptations.. they are passing with the use... Do we not understand that we are but a moment, a vapor, a small short string stressing and about to break? Give up on materialistic pursuit on that which is not... Focus your time and energy..(worship)in seeking and serving Him... the Creator... He is eternal and whatever He wishes to be...