INT.

LIVING ROOM - DAY

A MAN sits on the couch, mouth agape as he watches TV. In
through the door BURSTS an out of breath man, GARY.
GARY
(panting)
Holy fucking shit did you hear?!?
Shut up!

MAN

He picks up the remote and turns up the volume all the

way on the TV as they both stare intensely.
INT. TV STUDIO - DAY
A REPORTER performs a broadcast while relevant images
appear beside him throughout its duration.
REPORTER
- and if youre just tuning in at
home and your TV hasnt been
vaporized yet, it appears that
intergalactic aliens are invading
the earth.
A picture shows beside him of a disgustingly hideous
alien crushing a womens face underneath its boot.
REPORTER (CONTD)
While we still dont know much
about the superior race, we do
know they are indeed deadly,
demonstrated by this exclusive
footage.
The broadcast is taken over by a video showing...
EXT. STREET - DAY
A massive ALIEN, almost superfluous in its alien-ness has
cornered a MAN and a WOMAN at the end of an alley. The
video is shot from a camera held by the trembling man who
stands in front of the woman to protect her.
Stay back!

MAN

(CONTINUED)

2.
CONTINUED:
The alien slowly slithers forward. The man grabs a
garbage can and HURLS it at the alien, who absorbs it,
grows three feet, and continues to slither forward. The
man takes a heros lunge at the beast.
MAN
AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
The alien swipes him away easily and he flies into the
side of the alleyway with a crash. The camera is now
resting on the ground pointed at the woman as the alien
slithers towards her. She screams as it ENGULFS HER
WHOLE. The alien turns towards the man.
MAN
No, please...please god! God help
me!
At lightning speed it engulfs both him and the camera as
static takes over the broadcast.
INT. TV STUDIO - DAY
The broadcast continues.
REPORTER
Frightening stuff. It seems this
terrorizing race of death
mongering hell-raisers isnt
interested in negotiation or even
our ample resources, they are
simply set on ending the human
race in its entirety.
He turns to another camera as a new picture appears that
shows cartoon flags (U.S.A, Canada, China, Turkey, Iran)
holding hands around the planet earth.
REPORTER (CONTD)
It seems that countries who were
once at odds with one another have
buried the hatchet and banded
together to combine their strength
in an attempt to fight back.
A picture shows a very exaggerated Arab and Israeli
shooting an alien back to back.
REPORTER (CONTD)
They go by E.D.S, the Earth
Defense Squad -

(CONTINUED)

3.
CONTINUED:
A military logo for E.D.S appears, brilliantly
photoshopped despite the alien invasion.
REPORTER (CONTD)
- and so far every country, big or
small, white or black, is
contributing in any way they can
to defend against this mighty foe.
He turns to another camera, closer on his face.
REPORTER (CONTD)
They say that only under the most
dire of circumstances do people
show their true colours. I know
things look grim but with all of
us banded together? Well shoot,
Id say those aliens are in for
one heck of a fight. Signing off,
this is He puts his hand to an earpiece, listens, nods.
REPORTER
Folks we have some breaking news
from our field reporter Tom
Hearthstone. Tom what have you got
for us?
EXT. LARGE CEREMONY - DAY
TOM HEARTHSTONE stands covering one ear in front a large
gathering of Chinese people as a Chinese dictator dressed
in military garb shakes the hand of an alien and waves.
TOM
Well Duke, it seems that the
Chinese have sided with the
aliens. Chinese leader Mai Jong is
delivering his speech now.
The camera zooms in on MAI JONG as he delivers his speech
in mandarin, subtitles below.
MAI JONG
(yelling)
Those E.D.S fools! With their
access codes all other countries
will be eradicated the Chinese
will rule alongside the aliens
until the end of time!

(CONTINUED)

4.
CONTINUED:
Mai Jong and the alien clasp hands and lift them jointly
in the air. The massive crowd of people watching cheer
loudly and wave chopsticks in the air.
TOM
Its - its crazy over here Duke
the Chinese are cheering to end of
humanity and waving chopsticks in
the air.
A bowl of rice whizzes by Toms head.
INT. TV STUDIO - DAY
The broadcast continues with Tom now in the screen beside
the reporter as he talks.
REPORTER
Theyre waving chopsticks and
throwing rice? Are - are you sure
Tom? Because that sounds
incredibly racist.
TOM
It is incredibly racist Duke, but
its exactly whats happening at
this horrid, horrid scene.
Mai Jong takes a giant E.D.S flags and holds it up as the
alien breaths flames and burns it to a crisp instantly.
TOM
Theyre burning flags, theyre
eating rice, Ive never seen
anything quite like it Duke.
A Chinese person starts trying to feed Tom chicken with
chopsticks. More come and start dumping rice on him.
TOM (CONTD)
(to the Chinese person)
No. No. I dont want any Kung Pao
Chicken. No! NOOOOOO!!!!
Toms broadcast cuts out leaving the reporter in the
studio in silence.
REPORTER
Well if what we just saw is true
then humanity truly has no hope.
The Chinese were the focal point
of our entire military operation.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

5.
CONTINUED:

REPORTER (CONT'D)
If they gave the aliens our
encrypted military access codes,
well then, then it seems like its
all over folks. For E6 news, In
mortal danger, this is Duke
Saftly, signing off.