The

Psychology
..

DenisWaitley

Nightingale
O MCMWO(VII Copyright

Nightingale Conant Corporation

7300 North Lehigh Avenue Niles, Illinois 60714
1-7WM7-0300 1-800-323-5552

rHE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING

T

here is often only a small difference between the top leaders in

every field and those who merely "do well." In The Psychology
of Winning, author-narrator Denis Waitley offers simple, yet profound principles shared by the great achievers of our time ...
principles of thought and healthy behavior that guide men and
women to the top in every field of endeavor... principles that give
you the winning edge in every situation.
During your "listening journey" into the innerspace of your
virtually unexplored and largely untapped mental potential, you'll
become aware of the wide-ranging studies of and in-depth research
into every phase of human behavior that went into creating this
dynamic audiocassette program. From Sigmund Freud's early
exploration of the subconscious to Dr. Hans Selye's pioneering
efforts in understanding stress. From Abraham Maslow's "Third
Force" psychology to today's relaxation response, meditation and
electronic biofeedback experiments. From the first attempt to
clearly define personality traits and the hierarchy of human needs to
the studies of astronauts, super-achievers and the latest findings of
modern science.

The Psychology of Winning presents the essence of this research

in ten basic principles, the Ten Qualities of a Total Winner. All in
straightforward, easily understood audio sessions for immediate use

N T E s O N L I S T E N I N G , T H I N K I N G br D O I N G

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING

How THE PSYCHOLOGY OF
WINNING Can Benefit You Most
The final value to you of The Psychology of Winning
depends on how many of its insights and guidelines
you can, or choose to, adopt as permanent parts of
your own growing personality. When you consider
that even the most practiced listener picks up,
reflects on, mulls over, and internalizes only a tiny
portion of what he or she hears, it is clear that
repeated listening is essential. Try to listen to each
cassette - especially those concerning personality
areas in which you feel the desire to improve-as
frequently as possible over a long period. You'll be
surprised and delighted with the results.

Jot Down Your Own Ideas

While listening, keep pen and paper near, and be
prepared to stop your cassette player. When an attitudelaction technique appeals to you, stop the tape.
Think about the idea, about its value to you-how
it could change and improve your life. Think about
how you can apply it. Visualize yourself doing it and
making it pay off for you. Jot down notes to remind
yourself of your thinking and to help you take action during the days ahead. Then re-start the tape
and continue your listening.

Act on Your Ideas

Until intelligent thought is linked with appropriate
action and follow-through, there i s no real
accomplishment. Once you've grasped the attitude1
action technique and how to apply it -ACT. Put it
to work in your daily life. The results may seem
slow and incremental at first. But remember you're
building something significant... you're building a
successful human life. If you are determined to
stick with the program, you'll soon discover you are
developing a truly effective system for coping with
stressful physical and emotional confrontationsfor harmonizing with and leading others-for
moving your life forward to greater expectationsand, perhaps, most important of all,for feeling the
personal satisfaction which comes with setting new
goals and achieving them on schedule.

U LITY N U M B E R O N E

POSITIVE SELF-EXPECTANCY

Synonyms: Optimism, hope, enthusiasm

Antonyms: Pessimism, cynicism, despair
Proverb: "That which you fear or expect most
will likely come to pass. The body manifests
what the mind harbors."
Summary: The most identifiable quality of a total
winner is an overall attitude of personal
optimism and enthusiasm. Winners understand
the psychosomatic relationship -psyche and
soma; mind and body-and that the body
expresses what concerns the mind. They know
life is a self-fulfilling prophecy; a person
usually gets what he or she actively expects.
and worries turn into distressful
anxiety... the production of antibodies and
hormones changes ... resistance levels are
lowered, and you are more vulnerable to
disease and accident. Conversely, since your
mind and body are trying t o comply with
instructions t o achieve a condition of
"homeostasis" or balance, if your mental expectancy is healthy and creative, your body will
seek to display this feeling with better health,
energy and well-being! Many common
maladies -headaches, shingles, low back
pain, ulcers, hives, asthma, and certain
allergies are often identified with emotional
rather than physiological causes. Certainly,
hereditary and environmental factors are
significant. However, by expecting the best,
you are preparing yourself physically and
mentally for the demands of winning. Leadership -attracting other people's support and
cooperation- is a natural byproduct of
positive self-expectancy.

ears

A mnner's self-talk: "I was good today. I'll be

better tomorrow."
Losers say: "With my luck, I was bound to fail."

I Rate Yourself Before You Begin 1

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-EXPECTANCY,
ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

ACTION APPLICATIONS
1. Wake up happy. Optimism is a learned
behavioral attitude. Start early in life- and
early in the day- developing positive selfexpectancy. Wake up t o music. Read an
inspirational message. Sing in the shower.
Breakfast with an optimist. On your way to
work, listen to a motivational tape.
2.

Use positive self-talk morning to night. "It will

be another good day for me." "Things usually
work out my way." "I expect a great year."
"We'll make it.'?

3.

Find something good in all personal relationships, and accentuate the blessings or lessons
in even the most trying circumstances.

4.

View problems as opportunities. After listing

your most pressing problems - ones blocking
professional and personal fulfillment, write a
one-sentence definition of each problem. Now
rewrite the definition-this time a s an
opportunity or exercise to challenge your
creativity or ingenuity. Imagine you are advising your best friend.

5.

Learn to stay relaxed and friendly no matter

what tension you're under. Instead of taking
part in group griping, single out someone or
something t o praise. Instead of being
unhelpfully critical, be constructively helpful.
When tension or anxiety enter, it's your signal
to lower the tone and pitch of your voice; to
breath slowly and deeply; to sit back and relax

your muscles; and t o respond calmly t o

problems with suggested solutions.
6.

Think well of your health. Cure the curable.

Prevent the preventable. Eqjoy the rest.

In projecting your health conditions to others,

realize your daily conversation is the automatic
readout of your thoughts and subconscious
emotions. Use positive self-talk. "I feel better."
"I feel young and vital."
8.

In dealing with children or subordinates, while

ensuring proper environment and health, focus
on regard for and benefits of being well and
productive. Too much attention paid to minor
health and environmental irritations indicates
possible value or pay-off to being sick, a sort of
child's variation on "workmen's compensation,"
which, if habitual, can lead to allergies, aches,
absenteeism and exaggerated reactions.

9.

When people tell you their problems, give

them solution-oriented feedback. When the
problems are your own, focus on the immediate question-"What's the answer ?"

10. Remain optimistic by associating with winners

and optimists. You can be realistic and
optimistic at the same time. Realistically
examine the facts of a situation while
remaining optimistic about your ability t o
contribute to a solution or to the best among
many alternatives.

Synonyms: Desire for change, excitation, urge

Antonyms: Fear, compulsion, inhibition
Proverb: "Winners dwell on their desires
(rewards of success), not their limitations
(penalties of failure)."
Summary: The positive self-motivation of total
winners has two sources: (1) a self-expectant
personal and world view and (2) an awareness
that, though fear and desire are among the
greatest motivators, fear is destructive-but
desire leads to achievement, success and happiness. They focus on the rewards of success
and actively tune-out fears of failure.
Individuals are pushed away from or pulled
toward concepts and people who act a s
negative or positive magnets. Winners focus on
goals, desires and solutions, always moving in
the direction of their currently dominant
thoughts. They dwell on desired results (magnificent obsessions), and look at where they
want to go, instead of troubled places they
may have been or may still hide. People resist
change, for it upsets present security. People
will change dramatically when it's a matter of
life or death. And people will change happily
and effectively when they want to.

A Winner's self-talk: "I want to! I can do it!"

Losers say: "1 have to. I can't."

I Rate Yourself Before You Begin I

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-MOTIVATION,
ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

ACTION APPLICATIONS

1. Replace can't with can in your vocabulary.

Can applies to 90% of the challenges you
encounter.
2.

Replace try with will in your vocabulary. This

is a form of semantics, establishing a new
attitude of dwelling on things you will do,
rather than on things you plan to try,with its
built-in excuse for possible failure.

3.

Focus your attention and energy on the

achievement of objectives you are involved
with right now. Forget about the consequences of failure. Remember you
usually get what you think of most.

4.

Make a list of five of your most important

current wants or desires. Next to each, write
what the benefit or payoff is to you when it's
achieved. Look at this list before you go to
bed each night and upon awakening each
morning.

6.

If there is something you want to do or

experience, but are afraid to try, this week
seek out and talk to in person someone who
currently is doing what you want to do, and
doing it well. Whether it is skiing, speaking,
selling, earning, hang gliding, or even being a
good spouse or parent, find an expert. Get the
facts, and make a project of learning all you
can about winners in the field, Take a course,
get personal lessons. Generate excitement by
mentally seeing yourself enjoying the rewards
of success.

Develop a simple new self-talk vocabulary

about yourself. For each of your goals, make
it a habit to repeat again and again, "I want
to -I can." "I want to-I can."
When motivating others, paint a picture of
what the achievement looks like and feels like;
demonstrate your own confidence and belief
in their ability to accomplish the objective.
Rather than saying "Firings will continue until
morale improves" or "I'll divorce you unless
you stop drinking1'-motivate with "I've been
observing your performance and want you to
know how encouraged I am with your
progress" or "There's a great play on at the
civic theater. Let's go there instead of the club
Saturday."
Don't worry about your fears. They are part of
being human. If any become obsessive, f i s t
get a thorough health check-up for an organic
association. Then consider professional
counseling involving behavior modification,
relaxation and biofeedback techniques.
When people tell you their problems, give
them solution-oriented feedback. When the
problems are your own, focus on the
immediate question - "What's the answer?"
10. When you start a project, concentrate all
your energy and intensity, without distraction,
on the successful completion of that project.

LITY N U M B E R T H R E E

--

POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE
Synonyms: Constructive imagination, visualization, creativity
Antonyms: Dark imaginings, worries, neuroses
Proverb: "What you see is what you get!"
Summary: Winners are especially aware of the
vital importance of self-image and the role
imagination plays in its creation and upgrading. They know self-image acts a s a
subconscious life-governing device: if they
can't see themselves doing something,
achieving something, they literally cannot do
it! They also know the self-image can be
changed. The subconscious is incapable of
differentiating between a real success and a
success imagined again and again, vividly and
in full detail. Behavior and performance
usually are consistent with self-image, which is
an intricately woven concept made up of all
fears, feelings and emotional responses to all
past personal experiences. What is perceived
as real is filtered or shaded differently from
. what others perceive by a time-grown, robotlike self-image. What is frequently imagined as
being real often becomes the dominant version
of reality. Winners imagine and fantasize who
they would most like to become-and the
robot self-image reads the script, memorizes it
and acts accordingly.

A Winner's self-talk. "I see myself changing,

growing, achieving, winning."

Losers say: "They're my hangups, faults and

stupidities... and I'm stuck with 'em."

I Rate Yourself Before You Begin 1

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE, ask
yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

m ACTION APPLICATIONS
1. Walk on the beach, in the country or in a
park, recalling your childhood play. Dust off
and "oil" your imagination. It rules your world.

Unselective television viewing breeds tunnel

vision and the creative imagination will
vanish.

Set aside 20 to 30 minutes a day for relaxation.

Imagine achieving and enjoying your most
dreamed-of desires. Do this as if sou were
previewing three television shorts. In one
sequence, achieve a professional triumph
(imagine the award ceremony, promotion
announcement or bonus payment). Another
scene involves family happiness (imagine a
special reunion or an outing together).
Finally, you alone are relishing some personal
victory (imagine a tennis or golf championship
or a weigh-in at the gym). Get the actual sensation of each event and how good it feels to
experience each one.

7. Through deep relaxation, meditation, autosuggestion, or biofeedback training, develop

the ability to "daydream". Smell the salt air,
hear the lapping waves, see the sail full in the
wind and the gulls on the wing-as if the
exhilaration of ocean sailing were really
happening.

2.

3.

Read a biography of someone you admire

each month. As you read, imagine yourself
achieving the same accomplishments.

4.

Relax and visualize your own imagined

triumphs. With soft background music and
with the subjective window in your subconscious thinking open, make yourself receptive to your own creative images.

5.

If you spend time around young children,

weekly before bedtime become a story teller,
using your imagination for a good, oldfashioned fairy tale or science fiction story.

6.

Limit television viewing-yours and your

children's-to stimulating, special shows.

8. Listen t o educational and inspirational

cassette tapes while you drive and before
retiring in the evening. Listening sparks the
imagination and, as in learning a foreign
language, promotes permanent memory
retention.
9.

Write a two-page resume of your professional

and personal assets as if you were applying for
the job of a lifetime. Instead of past experience, list your maximum current potential and
ultimate future potential. Read this autobiography every week, revise it every two months
and show it only to those individuals you
believe can and will help you toward your
goals.

10. Since self-image is the conceptual, visual, display of self-esteem,take stock this weekend of
those images with which you display yourself:
clothes, auto, home, garage, closet, dresser
drawers, desk, photos, lawn, garden, etc.
Make a priority list to get rid of all clutter and
sharpen up all the expressions of your life.

POSITIVE SELF-DIRECTION
r~a&

Synonyms: Goal-seeking, purpose-oriented,

cybernetic
Antonyms: Aimless, non-specific, wandering
Proverb: "What you get, is what you set!"

Summary: Winners have clearly defined,

constantly referred to game plans and
purposes. They know where they're going
every day, every month, every year. Their objectives range from life-long goals to daily
priorities. When they're not actively pursuing
their goals, they're thinking about them hard! They understand the difference between
goal-achieving and tension-relieving acts,
Eoncentrating o n the former. purpose-is the
engine powering their lives. Everyone has
purpose. For some it is to eat, for others to get
through the day and for others revenge,
getting even. Personal growth, creative
expression and sharing, loving relationships
are common goals that make winners
uncommon people. Clearly defined, written
goals make purpose achievable. The mind's biocomputer, needs specific instructions and
directions. Most people don't reach their goals
because they don't define them, learn about
them or even seriously consider them as believable or achievable. In other words, they never
set them. They fail by default. Winners can tell
you where they are going and why, approximately how long it will take, what they plan to
do on the way, and who will share the
adventure with them. Get a game plan for life!

A Winner's self-talk "I have a plan to make it

happen. I'll do what's necessary to get what I
want."
Losers say: "I'll try to hang in there-muddle
through the day somehow."

yourself Before YOU Begin

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-DIRECTION,

ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

1. Write a one-page brief of your lifetime goals.

What do you stand for, what do you want your
children to tell their children about you?
2.

3.

For each of the next five years write one

major goal in each of the eight following
areas: career , physical, family, personal
attitude, financial, public service, educational
and entertainment.
List your top priority goals for the next year
using the same eight categories as in number 2
above. After reviewing your progress toward
this year's goals, on December 31 or January 1,set your annual goals for next year.

4.

Use a large desk-top calendar and set your

time-priority goals for next month. What will
you do, where will you go, with whom will you
communicate during the next thirty days in
order to acheive your annual goals?

5.

Use a pocket week-at-a-glance type calender

and set activities for next week that will help
acheive your monthly goals. Review it and
check off accomplishments each morning and
evening.

6.

Set your daily goals for tomorrow at the close

of each working day. Use an 8 1/2" by 11"
page. Review it before bedtime and early the
next morning. Like a shopping list, check off
each item as accomplished and carry over into
the following day those not completed.

7.

Draft a financial game plan to fuel your personal growth cycle. Select a hypothetical income goal at retirement age, adjusting for inflation probabilities. Determine annual

savings and investment yields you must generate from now on to build the assets to provide
the income you need. Check your insurance
against income loss, your emergency and contingency savings, and plan your monthly
budget to provide a discretionary surplus for a
savings and investment plan.
8.

For each of your goals, assemble support

material-news
articles, books, tapes,
pictures from magazines, consumer reports,
cost estimates, color swatches, samples, etc.
Review these often.

9.

Review your goals with experts with proven

records of success actually accomplishing
what you've set out to do. Differentiate
between those who want to sell you and those
who sincerely want to help you. One of the
best ways is to pay someone strictly for advice
and counsel, someone with no end product or
other service to sell.

10.

For best results in goal achieving use these

basic rules:
(a) Set short-range goals (day, week,
month, six months)
@) Set lower-level goals (relatively easy
to accomplish)
(c) Set incremental goals (little by little,
part of the big objective)
(d) Get group reinforcement (consult a
support group interested in your
gob)
(e) Ceremonializethe achievement (certificate, reward, dinner, trip, recreation,
new clothing, etc.)

POSITIVE SELF-CONTROL
Synonyms: Self-determination,volition, choice

Rate Yourself Before You Begin

Antonyms: Irresponsibility, indecision, chance

Proverb: "Life is a do-it-myself project. I take the
credit or blame for my performance."
Summary: A Total Winner's positive self-control is
acceptance of 100% responsibility for causing
the effects in his or her life. Winners know
they personally have the power to take control
of many more aspects of their lives, both
mental and physical, than they thought
possible. They know that barring organic
damage or congenital faults, self-control is the
key to both mental and physical health and can
contribute enormousfy to total well-being.
Instead of bio-rhythm, computers, horoscopes,
gurus and the government, you take credit for
determining and creating your own place in
this world. You're in the driver's seat in your
own life. You can learn how to respond and
adapt more successfully to life's stress by
accepting responsibility for causing your own
effects. It's not so much "what happens" that
counts in life, it's how you take it. The real
essence of Positive Self-Control is that nearly
everything in life is volitional; each of us has
many more choices and alternatives than we
are willing to consider. We even have control
over certain body functions we thought were
purely involuntary. Winners really do make it
happen for themselves.

A Winner's self-talk "I take the credit or the

blame for my performance."
Losers say: "I can't understand why life did this
to me."

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-CONTROL, ask

yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

ACTION APPLICATIONS

1.

Take the blame and the credit, honestly and

openly, for your position in life.

2.

In place of "I have to," use "I've decided to." In

place of "I'm afraid to," use "I'm more
comfortable doing this" as a condition for nonparticipation.

3.

Carry the affirmative motto of Cause and

Effect into every transaction-"My rewards in
life will reflect my service and contribution."

4.

Learn how to relax mentally and physically

instead of using external stimulants and depressants (unless prescribed by a competent
physician for a specific health problem). A
nearby university usually will attract the more
legitimate ongoing relaxation and mental and
physical fitness programs.

5.

Set a specific time frame each week,

preferably each day, to initiate action letters
and calls on your behalf. Don't wait for invitations to succeed. Go for it! If someone has not
responded to a letter from you within two
weeks, follow-up. If there is still no response,
take an alternative approach with someone
else.

6.

Carry another affirmative motto with you: "Action TNT (Today Not Tomorrow)".

7.

Create your own best horoscope, listing

positive alternatives t o habits that you

seriously want to change. Model your winning

habits on authorities with proven records of
success.

8. Remember that your position or job is a

structure that couldn't care less about you
one way or the other. Your company cares,
your family cares, but your job doesn't care.
Only you can take the initiative to give your
job what it deserves. For the next 30 days, go
all out! Dedicate yourself to giving your maximum effort to your job, your company, your
routine, your service to others. At the end of
that time, you'll find yourself renewing your
dedication for another month.
9. Make an investment in your knowledge and
skill development. The only real security is the
kind inside each of us. Practice what Ben
Franklin wrote: "If an individual empties his
purse into his head, no one can take it from
him." Seminars, books, tapes- take charge!
10. Set your alarm a half-hour early tomorrow
morning and leave it at the earlier setting. Use
this extra half-hour of your life to wake up and
live. Use this time to answer the question, how
can I best spend my time today on priorities
that are important to Me? When you look in
the mirror, do you see someone your parents,
friends, spouse, or company wanted you to
be? Do you really see that someone you
wanted you to be? It's your choice. It takes
just as much effort for a bad life as it does for
a good life.

POSITIVE SELF-DISCIPLINE
Synonyms: Achievement simulation, drill, practice
Antonyms: Repetitive error, inconsistency, lack of
follow-through
Proverb: "Habits begin as harmless thoughtslike flimsy cobwebs-then, with practice,
become unbreakable cables to shackle or
strengthen our lives."
Summary: Self-discipline is the winning edge that
achieves goals, the ability to practice within.
Like astronauts, championship athletes and
skilled surgeons, winners practice flawless
techniques in their minds over and over again.
Knowing thought begets habit, they discipline
their thoughts to create the habit of superb
performance-the mark of a Total Winner.
Most people forget the routine for learning a
skill: Desire, Information, Assimilation and
Repetition. We learned how to drive, type,
speak a foreign language-why is it so difficult to apply learning to our most important
goals? Self-discipline can effect permanent
change in your self-image and in you. Selfdiscipline is mental practice -the commitment
to memory of thoughts and emotions overriding information stored in the subconscious
memory bank. Through relentless repetition,
these new inputs into our "robot achievement
mechanism" result in the creation of a new
self-image.

A Winner's self-talk: "Of course I can do it! I've

practiced it mentally a thousand times."
Losers say: "How can you expect me to do it? I
don't know how!"

I Rate Yourself Before You Begin I

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-DISCIPLINE,
ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

I
1.

2.

ACTION APPLICATIONS
Get current, first-hand experience with stateof-the-art simulation. Make an appointment to
visit one of the following during the next 30
days: a military flight simulator, an airline pilot
training simulator, or a computer simulation
training facility at a university.

5.

6.

7.

Simulate goal achieving in free, relaxed

times -those few early minutes upon
awakening each day, in the bath or shower,
during your commute, during lunch (if you're
alone), on a morning, afternoon or evening
stroll. The very best time is at night, in an easy
chair or in bed during the "twilight minutes"
just prior to sleep.

8.

Be relentlessly persistent in rehearsing your

goal achievements. Losing and winning are
both learned habits; it takes days and weeks
of constant practice in order to overcome entrenched attitudes and lifestyles.

Listen to audiocassettes on the art of

visualization and simulation. Learn the steps
for conditioning your own mind to relax and
become most receptive to your own self-talk.

3. List five necessary but unpleasant tasks

you've put off. Give each task a completion
date, then start and finish each. Immediate
action on unpleasant projects reduces stress
and tension.
4.

"That's more like me." If you performed badly,

your self-talk should be "That's not like me; I
perform better than that." Replay the performance correctly in your imagination.

When you simulate and visualize goals,

imagine the achievement of the specifics
exactly a s if they had already been
accomplished. For example, for a weight-loss
goal, imagine looking trim and firm in a
bathing suit or tennis outfit.
Daily, rehearse every important goal achievement simulation over and over in your
imagination like a TV football instant replay,
as if you had already reached the goals.
After every important performance, control
your self-talk to elevate your self-image. If you
performed well, your self-talk should be

9.

Discipline your body to relax. Relieve built-up

stress by engaging in some form of "ballplaying" as a routine. This means handball,
racquetball, tennis, golf, punching bag, or
something involving physical impact.

10.

Discipline your body t o improve your

cardiovascular system by jogging, walking,
swimming or some other healthy form of
motion at least three times per week. An
optimum distance is 12 to 18 miles per week.
Eat nutritional, balanced meals instead of
junk food.

LITY N U M B E R S E V E N

POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM
Synonyms: Self-worth, self-respect, selfconfidence
Antonyms: Self-deprecation, self-doubt, selfconsciousness
Proverb: "If you love yourself, then you can give
love away. How can you give what you don't
feel?"
Summary: Perhaps more than any other quality,
self-esteem is the door to healthy high achievement and happiness. Winners have a deepdown feeling of their own worth. They know
that, contrary t o popular belief, selfacce~tanceand deserving are not necessarilv
legaEies from wise, loving parents- history is
full of saints rising from gutters and literal
monsters growing up in loving families.
Winners aren't outer-directed. Recognizing
their uniqueness, they develop and maintain
their own high standards. They don't give in to
fear and anxiety. Accept yourself as an imperfect, changing, worthwhile person. Realize that
liking yourself and feeling you're a super individual in your own special way is not
necessarily egotistical. Take pride in what you
are accomplishing and in the unique person
you are, and enjoy just being alive right now.
Understand the truth that, although we as
individuals are not born with equal physical
and mental attributes, we are born with the
equal right to feel the excitement and joy of
believing we deserve the very best in life. Most
winners imagine and believe in their own
worth, even when they have nothing but a
dream to hold on to.

A Winner's self-talk: "I do things well because

I'm that type of person."
Losers say: "I'd rather be somebody else."

IRate Yourself Before You Begin I

Before listening to POSITNE SELF-ESTEEM, ask
yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

1. Regardless of pressure from your friends and

peer group, dress and look your best at all
times. Personal grooming and lifestyle
appearance provide an instantaneous
projection on the surface of how you feel
about yourself inside.
2.

3.

Volunteer your own name first in every

telephone call and whenever you meet
someone new. By paying value to your own
name in communication, you are developing
the habit of paying value to yourself as an
individual.
Take stock of your good reasons for selfesteem today. Write down what your blessings
are-who and what you are thankful for.
Your accomplishments-what you have
done that you're proud of. And your goalswhat your dreams and ambitions are.

4.

When anyone pays you a compliment for any

reason, accept the value paid with a simple,
courteous "thank you.''

5.

When you attend meetings, lectures and

conferences-sit up front in the more prominent rows. Your purpose for going is to listen,
learn and possibly exchange questions and
answers with the keynote speakers.

Make a conscious effort to make your walk in

public more erect and with a relaxed but
more rapid pace. It has been proven that
individuals who walk erect and briskly usually are confident of where they are going.
Set your own internal standards, instead of
comparing yourself to others. Keep upgrading
your own standards in personal grooming,
behavior, lifestyle, professional accomplishments, relationships, etc.
When you talk to yourself and to others about
yourself, use encouraging, affirmative
language. Focus on uplifting and building
adjectives and adverbs. Everything you say
about yourself is subconsciously being recorded by others, but more importantly by
your own self-image.
Keep a self-development plan ongoing at all
times. Sketch it out on paper-the
knowledge you'll require, the behavior
modification you'll achieve, the changes in
your life that will result. Seek out the real
winners in life as friends and role models.
Misery loves company, but so does success!
SMILE! In each and every language, in each
and every culture, it is the universal code for
"I'm O.K. You're O.K. too"!

LITY N U M B E R E I G H T

POSITIVE SELF-DIMENSION
Synonyms: Total person, visionary, humanist
Antonyms: Shallowness, egocentricity, superficiality
Proverb: "When you create other winners like
yourself, life will pay you back and shine its
sun upon your face and put the wind at your
back."
Summary: Winners see their total person in such a
fully-formed perspective that they literally
become part of the "big picture" of life -and it
of them. They know themselves intimately.
They see themselves through others' eyes.
They feel as one with nature and the universe.
~ n they
d learn from the past, plan for the
future and live as fully as possible in the
present. Winners create other winners without
exploiting them. Winners live in harmony with
their loved ones, their friends and their
communities. Winners practice the double-win
attitude: "If I help you win, then I win."
Positive self-dimension is understanding the
vulnerability of the life process and the
delicate balance of ecology. Self-dimensionfitting in-draws upon the spiritual power
woven intricately into every fiber of our being.
Winners understand the mortality of their
bodies, and are able to age gracefully. They
don't necessarily accept death as the final gun
in the game of life, but as a transition they may
never fully comprehend, yet do not fear. Winners plant shade trees under which they know
they'll never sit.
A Wmer's self-talk: "I live every moment,
enjoying as much, relating as much, doing as
much, giving as much as I possibly can."
Losers say: "Sm only concerned with me today."

I Rate Yourself Before You Begin

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-DIMENSION,

ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

I ACTION APPLICATIONS
1. Ask yourself the question, how do I fit into my
family, my company, my profession, my
community, my nation, my world?
2.

Treat people more like brothers and sisters.

Treat animals more like people. Treat nature
more carefully and tenderly -she is precariously balancing our future survival.

3. Pay value to your spouse or loved ones today

with a touch and an "I love y o u . ' ~ l o w e r s ,
poems, cards are ever-green!
4.

5.

Tonight kiss a child goodnight with an added,

"You are so special and I love you for who you
are." And tomorrow listen to and play with
that child for a while as if you were a playmate again.
Tell a parent or relative in person or by phone
how much he or she means to you today.

6.

Spend time listening to and giving encouragement to an elder each week.

7.

Make a contribution to something or someone

for which there is no direct payoff o r
obligation.

8.

This Saturday do something you have wanted

to do for years. And repeat this process once
each month.

9.

Experiment with five or six hours sleep per

night, while being kind to your body with
good nutrition and exercise. Over a lifetime,
the additional productive hours available
amount to 12 more years of life.

10. Learn one or two additional languages and

study the customs and mores of other countries you plan to visit. When you travel, speak
in the native tongue as much as possible. The
added dimension will benefit you and those
you meet,

'

U LITY N U M B E R N I N E

POSITIVE SELF-AWARENESS

Synonyms: Self-honesty, empathy, openess

Antonyms: Dishonesty, insensitivity, "tunnel
vision"
Proverb: "Oh Great Spirit, grant me the wisdom to
walk in another Indian's moccasins for a mile
before I criticize him or her."
Summary: Winners know who they are, what they
believe, the role in life they fill, their great personal potential -and future roles and goals
marlung fulfillment of that potential. They are
constantly adding to their knowledge through
experience, insight, feedback and judgment.
They not only continuously "play from
strength" in the game of life, but also correct
weaknesses and avoid errors. Their judgments
are marked by an extreme honesty. They don't
kid others o r themselves. Make this your
moment of truth. You've been selling yourself
short all your life. You have the opportunity to
experience more environmental, physical and
mental abundance than you could use in ten
lifetimes. Open your eyes t o the available
possibilities and alternatives. Change your attitude and your lifestyle, and your many environments will automatically change. Understand
your uniqueness. Appreciate others' differences. Relax and learn to respond positively to
stress. Change for the better what can be
changed. Remove negative influences that can't
be changed. Adapt to those negative influences
that cannot be changed or removed.
A Wmner's self-talk: "I know who I am, where I
am coming from, and where I am going."
Losers say: "Who knows what I could do if I only
had the chance."

Rate Yourself Before You Begin

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-AWARENESS,
ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

ACTION APPLICATIONS

with eye holes cut out over your head. Talk

about an extraordinary expesience!

1. Schedule a comprehensive annual physical

with your physician or a reputable clinic.
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more detailed physical. Get a prevention
check and tune-up. Don't wait for the flat tire,
engine knock, or dead battery.

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Take 15 precious minutes each day for you

alone. Relax. Inhale from the pelvis and stomach up into your lungs. Exhale slowly. Meditate and let go as if you were lying in the
center of a waterbed the size of a football
field. Float freely, aware that your life belongs
to you and all that exists in it is seen out of
your eyes and experienced by your mind and
body.

Be curious about your world. Read book

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healthy mind and body.

3.

Break routines. Get out of that comfortable

rut. Unplug the TV for a month. Go to work a

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8. Look for and speak the truth. Don't let ads and
fads make you one of the countless victims of
greed. When you read, hear or see something
that impresses you-check the source and
the credentials. View everything with openminded skepticism. Open-minded enough to
explore it without prejudice. And skeptical
enough to research and test its validity.

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favorite toy t o an orphan. If you usually

shower, take a bath instead.
4.

Make a list of "I Am's", with assets or "I am

good at" in one column; liabilities or "I need
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traits and your ten traits needing most

improvement. Take the first three liabilities
and plan an activity to improve them. Forget
about the rest of the liabilities. Relish and
dwell on your best assets. They'll take you
anywhere you want to go in life!
5.

Be aware of children and the elderly.

Remember that childhood is a wonderful,
special classroom in which an adult is
developed. Listen to their dreams. Ask for
opinions and reactions of the elderly.
Remember that becoming elderly is inevitable.
It's a question of positive self-awareness
whether you get old or become mature.

10.

Be empathetic. Learn how others feel and

consider where they are coming from before
criticizing or passing judgment. Even if you
can't feel for everyone you meet, be certain
that you feel with every living thing you
encounter. It's the key to positive selfawareness.

Look at yourself through other people's eyes.

Imagine being your parent. Imagine being
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6.

9.

Look at yourself objectively through

your own eyes. This is easier said than done.
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U LITY NUMBER T E N

POSITIVE SELF-PROJECTION

Synonyms: Communicative, supportive, impressive

Antonyms: Aloof, unfriendly, unkempt
Proverb: "How you walk, talk, listen and look is
YOU!"
Summary: Winners practice positive selfprojection. They project their best selves
every day in the way they look, walk, talk,
listen, and react. They specialize in truly effective communication, taking 100% of
responsibility, not only for sending
information, but also for receiving it and for
listening for the real meaning from every
person they contact. Winners are aware that
first impressions are powerful and that interpersonal relationships can be won or lost in
about the first four minutes of conversation.
Winners say "1'11 make them glad they talked
with me." To a winner you'll say "I like me
best when I'm with YOU."Nothing marks a
winner so clearly as a relaxed smile and warm
face, volunteering his or her name while
extending a hand to you, looking directly in
your eyes and showing interest in you by
asking questions about your life that are
important to you. Winners know paying value
to others is the greatest communication skill
of all.
A Wmner's self-talk: "Tell me what you want,
maybe we can work on it together."
Losers say: "There's no point in discussing it,
we're not even on the same wave length."

I Rate Yourself Before You Begin I

Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-PROJECTION,
ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of
doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add
your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators
listed in the Action Applications. After applying
them for a week, appraise yourself again and note
the growth.

. CTION APPI.ICAT1ONS

I
6.

Project a pmitive self-image. Projed your creative imagination and always present a
positive preview of your coming attractions
with vivid descriptions.

7.

Project positive self-direction. Put your goals

down .on paper and share them with those
who can help you achieve them.

8.

Project positive self-discipline. Talk to yourself over and over again when you are relaxed,
visualizing yourself in the act of enjoying and
completing each of your current goals.
Complete the projects you begin.

wonder and abundance in nature. Stop feeling

sorry for yourself. If you are alive and enjoy
some degree of health, you've got it made. Try
looking at yourself through others' eyes.
2.

Project positive self-esteem. Get that deep

down feeling of your own worth and pass it
along to others. Talk yourself and others up.

3.

Project positive self-control. Project an image

of responsibility by making your own luck
through preparation and affirmative action.

4.

Project positive self-motivation. Motivate

yourself and others by focusing on the
rewards of success, forgetting the penalties of
failure.

5.

Project positive self-expectancy. Your enthusiasm will be wonderfully contagious and infect
almost everyone it touches.

9. Project positive self-dimension. Project yourself as a winner who creates other winners
too.

10.

Project positive self-projection. Don't just

listen t o The Psychology of W h n i n g as
another tape program. Go out and do it!