Chapter 37 The Story of My Grandmother The soul force is indestructible and it goes

on gaining power until it transforms everyone it touches. Mohandas Ghandi Sunday

morning. The people at the retreat get up slowly from yoga mats and sit back in
their chairs. There is a deep calm on their faces; their eyes are open and receptive.
Rob starts the talk on spirituality by telling a story about his grandmother. On the
eve of my grandmothers 110th birthday, I got a call from her nursing home that
she was having chest pain. I was worried she was having a heart attack and
wouldnt make it to the big celebration that was being organized for the next day.
That would be a shame because my grandmother was an amazing woman in many
ways. She lived in her own apartment till 107, composed poetry up until her final
months, and was an exceptional conversationalist with her many visitors. At 109,
she pledged to herself that if she made 110, shed dance on the table. I rushed over
to the Manor to see how sick she was. When I got to her floor I could hear the
sounds of a lively violin coming from her room. Three of her great grandchildren,
who are all excellent musicians, were serenading her with songs both lively and
poignant. Forgetting about the symptom of chest pains which had brought me
there, I sat back and listened. The lyrics of one soft song started with the birds
have flown away. Listening to the beautiful harmony of their young voices I began
to quietly cry realizing this would be one of the last memories Id have of this
extraordinary woman. Grandma lay in her bed with a smile as broad as her face. As
a doctor, I could tell that her body was very weak and she would not live much
longer. But there she was, looking so happy, at peace, and absorbing every moment
to the fullest. And more than that, there seemed to be a glow 213 The Story of My
Grandmother emanating from her that lit the room with warmth and joy. Ive
experienced that same feeling at the bedside of many people who have released
themselves into something so deep and mysterious that their inner light was
obvious to everyone. Whenever this has happened, I have walked away from a
simple conversation lighter on my feet and with a feeling that my heart had been
stretched open. My grandmother reminded me that a deep connection to spirit is
possible even as the body is fading away and turning to dust. Over my years as a
doctor, Ive seen many of my patients who were able to let go into the spiritual
realm, no longer identifying so closely with their bodies or even their personalities.
Something like a pain crisis might dim their light, but once the pain was under
control, and they could settle their minds, the brilliant light of their spirit could shine
through again. I remember a young mother I treated during her initial breast cancer
diagnosis and again after it recurred. She had such exuberance for life regardless of
her physical health. We had to delay her initial radiotherapy session because she
had torn open her mastectomy sutures during a snowball fight with her kids. Years
later, when she was in the terminal phase of her life, I saw her again when she
needed radiotherapy. Walking into her room, I could see that her body was frail, her
skin yellow from cancer in the liver. But her face glowed and her eyes were filled
with deep love. Though too weak to get up to greet me, she extended her arms up
for a hug. Her voice rang out Dr. Rutledge, Im so happy to see you as I leaned
over for a long embrace. She held not a hint of bitterness about her situation and I

walked away from the clinic that afternoon with a lightness in my heart and an
aspiration to share my love with others. When we slow down, and are mindful of the
true beauty of life, we can become more aware of the realm of spirit. Its here all the
time, yet so obvious we can overlook it. I am truly grateful to my grandmother and
so many of my patients who have lit the way, showing me the light of their living
spirit even as their bodies were fading away. P.S. As it turned out, my grandmothers
chest pain resolved that night and, at the party next day, she conspired with two
large men to place her wheelchair up on a large wooden table. She had everyone in
attendance sing together songs to her like Im tired and I want to go home all the
time her legs jigged and kicked in rhythm on the table.