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LETTING GO DURING PREGNANCY, BIRTH AND MOTHERHOOD

The Expectful Blog

P A R E N T H PO RO E DG N A N C Y

Letting Go During Pregnancy, Birth and Motherhood

P A

HP/OR OE DG

ANNA GANNON APRIL 30, 2016

Before becoming pregnant last year, I had a clear and distinguished vision of what my life would look
like as a pregnant woman and a new mom. I knew for me, pregnancy would be a breeze. I mean after all,
my mom had 7 children, and my sister had 2, neither of them had any pregnancy alignments and my
mother says she didnt even have pain during labor
And if pregnancy was so carefree, motherhood would be like a cake walk. I mean my mom raised 7 kids,
how hard could it really be, right?

My vision went a little something like this

Pregnancy would be effortless. I would walk around glowing, smiling ear to ear and feeling better than
ever. Once my baby was born (with no pain of course) I would take on to motherhood swimmingly

(even though Ive maybe held a baby for a combined total of 10 minutes in the last 32 years). How hard
could it be?
I would also be the mom who didnt need to use a pacifier, because, well, my baby just isnt fussy. Oh,
and my baby, shell be the most well behaved child ever.

Lets just say I had high expectations

Flash forward to 4 weeks into my pregnancy and I am hurled over a toilet feeling like hell at 6pm at
night wondering,
1. Why am I having terrible morning sickness when Im super healthy, and my sister and mom never
experienced this?

And..
2. Why the do they call this morning sickness if it last all day?
This exact moment was when my motherhood journey started to go every direction other than the one I
planned.
My morning sickness lasted for 4 months and it was rougher than anything I could have ever
imagined. It also didnt help that I rode the NYC Subway to work every morning while feeling nauseous
and having that lovely heightened sense of smell that comes along with pregnancy, which made each
ride (you guessed it) the worst experience ever.
And then theres the fact that all the pregnant women I knew had pretty amazing pregnancies, where
they felt better than ever which made me feel like there must be something wrong with me.
But even though pregnancy wasnt going as planned, I still had high expectations for labor. Labor, yes,
thats when I was really going to shine! I mean, I consider myself pretty tough, and Im a yoga instructor,
so I know how to breathe, so I pretty much had this labor thing in the bag. I mean I was almost certain
my doctor was probably going to be so impressed by my performance that he would want me to help
him coach other patients on how to be a rockstar during birth.
Then labor happened and I cried like a baby, felt the worst pain I have ever felt in my life, screamed at
my doctor to give me the f#%king epidural and eventually gave birth after 14 hours of, ahem, hell.
And then, as you may have guessed, motherhood gave me a reality slap in the face. My little girl is a
screamer, and by screamer I mean my mother (who, remember, had 7 children) was convinced
something was very wrong with my baby because she had never heard a baby scream like that before
turns out, thats just her regular cry. As for the pacifier, that came into the picture on day 2, and is very
much still in the picture, and may never be leaving the picture. Oh and did I mention my baby is high on
the fussy scale?

Yeah
It wasnt until about a month into being a mother that I realized that the expectations I was creating
were actually holding me back. Every expectation I set was keeping me from enjoying the present
moment. As Im sure youve heard or experienced, kids REALLY do grow up quickly and that time
speeds up rapidly when youre not really focusing on whats occurring around you. This means that I
needed to stop thinking about the past or the future and instead start focusing on right now.
This has also made me realize that my motherhood journey is just another part of my life, which means
its probably not going to go as planned. Which, turns out is great news because now I can look at my
life as a bundle of surprises each and every day. Surprises that I wouldnt pass up for anything.
What Ive noticed is that when I allow my life to unravel organically, I am more present and in turn a
happier person, wife and mother. This has led me to let go of expectations, let go of what I dreamt will
happen, and instead allow my life to happen.
This practice has also helped me to view the relationships I have with others differently. When I let go

of my own expectations I also let go of the expectations I set around other people. As a wife, that
means not expecting my husband to be a mindreader and instead doing my best to keep an open
communication about our individual needs. As a mother, that means not expecting my daughter to hit
certain milestones and instead just enjoying watching her grow at her own pace.
Of course, as you may have suspected, Im not able to be present all the time (shocker, I know), nor am I
always the most understanding wife, mother or friend. I have been known to take things out on my
husband, almost lose my mind after my daughter cries for hours and not be the most responsive person
when it comes to getting back to my friends. Im not immune to letting my thoughts get away from me
or to reacting negatively to those thoughts. My mind naturally goes off on tangents hourly about how
my life will look or should look in the future, or how I should have done things differently in the past.

I am however, trying.
I do my best to catch myself setting expectations in my thoughts, and when that happens I simply just
notice it and move on from there.

Are you pregnant or a new mom?

Expectful is a digital platform that makes meditation easy for expectant and new moms. Each one of
our guided meditations has been created to support you throughout your pregnancy and motherhood
journey.
Our mission is to help you give your baby the best start in life. Go to expectful.com and sign up for our
free 30-day meditation trail.

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