424

Two Bears in an airing cupboard, which one is in the army ?

The one on the tank !!
boom boom

425 A little boy mouse goes into a music shop and asks for a mouse-organ.
The shopkeeper says:
"That's a coincidence, we had a little girl mouse in here yesterday, asking for the same thing."
The mouse replies:
"That must have been our Monica."

426 A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.

427 What do baby apes sleep in?
Apricots!


428 Two hunters were walking through the woods.
Suddenly, a naked lady stepped out of the brush and said, "I'm game!",
so they shot her.

429 Man1 "My wife's gone to the West Indies."
Man2 "Jamaica?"
Man1 "No she went of her own accord":

430 How do you keep your nose from running?
Teach it to WALK!

431 What can you eat in a Cyber Cafe?
Micro Chips

432 A young karate champion joined the Army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.



433 If I had a pet newt I would call him "Tiny", because he'd be my newt.

434 If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

435 A piece of string walks into a bar one day and asks for a beer.
The bar tender says, "I'm sorry but we don't serve string in this bar."
The piece of string walks out and returns the next day asking for a beer.
No luck. The bar tender turns him away again, "Sorry but we don't serve string in this bar."