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Lori Williamson
Professor Campbell
Practicum
3 December 2016
Cover Letter: Excruciating Space
Im a lover of music, and have been for some time. Shared music is a sort of love
language for me. When a friend introduces me to a song he thinks I like because it seems like
something you might do, I thrill inside, and play the song as fast as I can. When the song was A
Journalist Falls in Love With Death Row Inmate #16 by Margot and the Nuclear So & Sos, I
took it as a compliment that I might be empathetic enough to fall in love with a death row
inmate. Though it was certainly laughable in its absurdity, it was a sweet comment to me.
Empathy is important. I loved the song. It was quirky and beautiful in its melancholic way, just
the sort of song I could listen to on repeat. It was freshman year when I first heard it. I heard it
again recently and remembered how Id fallen in love with, how Id wanted to know the story of
the man and woman. I heard it along the same time I was trying to hone in on an idea for my
practicum project. Thats when it hit me: I will write their story. My project had taken on several
different faces before it came to this point, but I settled into this idea more quickly than any of
the others. I felt like I needed to understand their love.
In my early research, I wanted to write a death row inmate to ask questions. I found a site
online that was filled with profiles for prison inmates who were interested in beginning pen pal
relationships with people in the outside world. The site looked a little poorly designed, but
legitimate, so I went for it. I found a guy who seemed safe. His name is Clinton Northcutt, and
his profile said he was a Christian, he liked The Notebook, and he was only interested in

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friendship (most were looking for that special lady). So I sent him a letter. I told him what I
was doing in the class and that Id like to ask him some questions if he was willing. As I was
placing his letter into the envelope and explaining to my boss why I was sending a letter to a
death row inmate, she asked if I had looked up what he did. I hadnt even thought of it, which
was a major blip on my part. How could I forget to do that? She was on the computer, so she
typed his name into Google. After a second, she said, Are you sure you want to know? I
nodded yes. She told me that he had strangled his four-month-old son when the baby wouldnt
stop crying one night. Clinton wasnt under the influence of drugs or alcohol. He pled guilty and
asked for the death penalty in his trial. He had just snapped.
I couldnt believe that the man who had created the profile, the one trying to learn
Spanish and who is able to live [his] life with an optomistic attitude because of the mercey
and grace of God, could be the same man who did such a horrific thing. For me, finding him
and hearing his story was a big turning point for my project. I was inspired in writing the story of
Rebecca and Jeffrey because the song that inspired it was quirky and because I knew the piece
would give me the opportunity to do some fun things that I had not attempted to do with my
writing. But Clinton Northcutt was real. And I knew that it was my responsibility to capture that
two-sidedness of people, the same sort that Paul talks about in Romans. It was also important to
capture the empathy that would allow someone to love a criminal, to show redeemable qualities
in someone cast out by society as irredeemable. There was suddenly a gravity to my project that I
did not anticipate, and one that I felt I needed to take great care to respect.
The first book assigned to us in the practicum class, Walking on Water by Madeleine
LEngle, shaped the way I wrote their story very much. A brief history of my writing up to the
point of practicum is this: I wrote God explicitly into everything, then I heard the whole writer

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who is Christian vs. Christian writer spiel, and I wanted to make sure I stayed far, far away from
Christian bookstore sentimentality. I overdid it, and ended up trying to be far too edgy and
writing actually very bad (as in poorly written) stuff. Madeleine LEngle says that, when the
world is, indeed, in chaos, then an affirmation of cosmos becomes essential (?). She says that is
how we, as Christians, make art that glorifies God. Its not about explicitly writing him in; its
about refusing to heap chaos into a world that is so perpetually chaotic. Its about showing them
cosmos, the divine, beautiful things we see through the lens of our faith. But LEngles words
moved along with me throughout the entire process, and reminded me of how important it is for
not only Rebecca to have empathy with Jeff, but how important it is for me to have empathy as I
write them. With her words in mind, I took care not to stumble into clichs or write absurd things
just for the value of the shock. I took more care with my writing than I feel I ever had.
My project is written in the form of Rebecca Twaddells journal. She is a report for the
Chattanoogan, and is covering a longer story of Jeffrey Minakowski, a death row inmate who
requests a discontinued menu item from Firehouse subs for his quickly approaching last meal. In
between journal entries from Rebecca are documents that she includes from her research and
from Jeffrey himself. They arent in order, as Rebecca is writing from a time after the execution
when she is attempting to sort things out and find out why Jeffreys story affected her so, to
discern when she truly began to change toward Jeffrey. For example, the play opens with a play
Jeffrey gives to her somewhere in the middle of their interactions. The second installment of the
play doesnt come until much later in the work. The inclusion of the plays was crucial, I felt to
characterizing Jeffrey and giving insight into the relationship between Rebecca and him.
REBEKAH
Geof?
GEOFFREY

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Yes, love?
REBEKAH
How can you see me?
GEOFFREY
I beg your pardon?
REBEKAH
Aren't I blinding you?
GEOFFREY
Oh, yes, dear.
REBEKAH
How can you see me?
GEOFFREY
I guess I can't really.
REBEKAH
Well. How'd you walk to me?
GEOFFREY
I followed your voice. I can hear you. Can't you hear me?
(Beat. REBEKAH listens.)
REBEKAH
I guess I can't, really.
GEOFFREY
But you're talking to me.
REBEKAH
Yes.
GEOFFREY
You can hear me.
REBEKAH
From different directions.
GEOFFREY

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Oh. Sorry.
REBEKAH
You are?
GEOFFREY
Yes. Yes. I'm sorry.
(GEOFFREY cries.)
REBEKAH
Geof?
(Beat. GEOFFREY is still crying. He
reaches up to the sandwich and begins to
take it off the string.)
How'd you get out of there?
(GEOFFREY takes a bite out of the
sandwich.)
(BLACKOUT)
(END SCENE)

I think this excerpt works in a few ways. First, it demonstrates that Jeff has friendshiptranscending feelings for Rebecca, and Rebeccas inclusion of the piece in her journals with the
lead-in Ive been waiting for this installment of Jeffreys play since the last excerpt, says the
same of her feelings toward Jeffrey (29). I also think its working to get at a deeper theme of the
piece, which is the depth of people, and that we never fully see or understand them even when
part of them resonates with a part of us, and we really feel that we understand them. I wanted a
different sort of way to say this than to just have Rebecca ramble about it in an entry. I had a lot
of fun writing the absurdist play elements in the piece, and theyre some of the pieces that came
from my best writing days.

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An area that I struggled with throughout the process was showing proper motivation for
Rebeccas character. I think I was trying to keep too much information secret in my first couple
of drafts, and I wasnt helping my readers understand the characters enough. I also realized that,
by being somewhat shady with my writing, I wasnt taking the time to really get to know my
characters as well as I should. I always spend a lot of time on characterization rather than plot, so
this was a strange critique for me to get from others and to acknowledge as truth. I took a lot of
inspiration from Jonathan Safran Foers Everything is Illuminated, which is full of ambiguity and
plot reveals along and along. I was trying to achieve that without anchoring my ambiguity in any
strong reasoning, so I really had to work at giving more information in interesting and purposeful
ways in my revisions. I heavily edited the scene where Rebecca has dinner with her mom, sister,
and nephew. I didnt change Rebeccas dialogue as much as I let the characters interacting with
her characterize her more: Women are up and coming, now, Rebecca. Just look at you! You
didnt let any of that stuff with Jacob keep you from your career. That stung, sort of. There was a
lot lurking in that stuff. A three-year long relationship. A pregnancy. An ending that left me
without either (25). I think this is a good example of the sort of changes I did, because I didnt
fully reveal what had happened in Rebeccas past, but I did give a lot more in order to make
sense of the response Rebecca has toward her family. In future revisions, I will add a lot more
and reveal a lot more as the story progresses.
Another critique that I had hesitation about but ultimately agreed with was the inclusion
of the lead-ins with every document that Rebecca includes. I wanted to just open with the play,
but I realized after workshop that most people were thrown by beginning with the play and being
immediately thrown into Rebeccas journal after. Again, I was trying to be ambiguous without
any real reasoning. So, I took the advice given to me in in my workshops in class and with my

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mentor, Dr. Woolfitt, and I added introductions to the included documents. I worried that they
might come across as cheesy or take away the impact of the documents, but I ended up really
liking them. For instance, I actually quite like the new opening of my story much more than the
original:
Jeff gave me a play today. He said, "For you, Rebecca." His hair was parted,
which I found unusual and pleasant. He bowed slightly when he handed it to me. A grand
gesture, typical. I suppose I would have rolled my eyes a month ago.
I am not a groupie. I am not one of those death row girls who smudge their
names on letters to dying men to make national news. I am simply not. But things are
changing, and I cannot deny it. I have not talked to Sarah yet, but I will. I think I have to.
This is the play (2).
I didnt do any set revision exercises because most of my critiques were specific to
certain parts or they were more about motivation, but I did feel every piece of critique I was
given was very helpful and valid. The process, for me, was so helpful and enjoyable. Spending a
semester with this work was nice. I was able to pace myself and spend work days just thinking
about the characters and contemplating the elements I wanted to include, which is a luxury I
didnt always feel I had in works that had to be completed in a week or two.
My plans for Excruciating Space beyond this class include, first and foremost, finishing
the piece. The only piece of advice I decided against was leaving the piece as a short story. The
way I process is to write it all out and then cut, so I think it has to be a lot longer before I can
shorten it. Thats why Im classifying this as a novella and not a short story. I also want to work
harder at choosing where I want to be ambiguous and determining when and why I should give
more information. I also want to include more meta elements. Like I previously mentioned, I

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took a lot of inspiration from Everything is Illuminated, in which the author writes himself in the
story. The areas where I show up in this story are so small that it can barely classify as
metafiction. I dont necessarily intend to include myself more, but I do want to include other
real-life characters. I would love a scene where the band, Margot and the Nuclear So & Sos,
interacts with Rebecca and is inspired to write that song that inspired my writing. I think that
would be a fun inclusion. I also played with the idea of including a real death row inmate who I
was introduced to in a podcast. The inmate keeps a blog via his mother, and I thought it would be
fun to have Jeffrey do a guest post on his blog.
I have a lot of plans that I would call fun, but I also want to stay respectful in regards to
the gravity of this story. For this reason, I think it will take me a long time to get the entries close
to Jeffreys execution right. The last entry in my current work is post-execution, so there is a big
gap between it and the entry right before that needs to be filled in. I am excited to spend more
time with this work, and I hope that I will be able to do Rebecca and Jeffreys story justice as it
continues to unfold for me.