Closure

Only the dead have seen the end of war. Plato

Mr. Williams this is Julien Lemoine from the French Institute for Eastern Archaeology. Weve
made an incredible find while surveying the Verdun Battlefield. The team believes to have found the
field journal of your grandfather and possible his remains. (ex 1-3) As requested we will be sending
the journal to your estate in Britain. Until we examine the remains Im afraid youll have to wait. Best
of luck to you, Julien. (insider) Williams reaches from his red velvet chair and turns off the
answering machine on his antique wooden end table. The wood in the fire place crackles and dimly
lights the room. (light) The grandfather clock ticks behind him as he places his hand on top of his
grandfathers leather journal in his lap. (texture) A slight chill sweeps the room as rain pelts the roof
above. (weather) Williams cautiously opens the aged journal to the first page. Enclosed is a black
and white photograph with crusty bloody fingerprints smudged around the edges. (texture) In the
photo is his grandfather in his Sunday best with his grandmother and memorizes it carefully. He
removes the photo cautiously and places it on the coffee table in front of him. (body) lightly William
shuffles through various entries of his grandfathers journal. He slowly thumbs through the stiff
stained pages to the last entry dated February 22, 1916 and begins to read. (texture) (body)
(begin)
I cant believe Im alive. Ive been trapped inside the dugout with 8 other soldiers for the last
23 hours. Ive never been so afraid in my life, and Im not the only one to think that. Our world
became so small and insignificant in that time. (world) What we thought was thunder from the rolling
storm was an Austro-Hungarian artillery unit shelling the entire Verdun line. (eruption)(weather) it
was relentless and it rocked the ground and our souls. (tremor) I was fortunate to even make it
into to the dugout I was about 50 meters from the closest one. When the shells struck, I was on my
way to report to my sergeant. One of the shells landed on the other side of the trench and threw me
against the pardon wall into the mud.(light) Dazed from the explosion I dug my feet deep into the wet
earth and pulled myself up.(body) My ears rang loudly as I stumbled against the wall towards the
dugout as the world around me collapsed. (body)(sacrifice)The sun dipped into the horizon away
from the storm and rain fell unremittingly. (sunset)(weather) Whistles rang out as I slowly made my
way down the narrow trench line. In a sky of grey sparks and shrapnel crashed overhead, my body
caked in cold mud. (body)(light) Just short of the bunker I collapsed again and two soldiers pulled
me in and I blacked out. When I came to my vision was still obscured and I saw shadowy figures
playing cards but when I looked past them down the trench line I witnessed the most terrifying sight.
The trench walls had collapsed and in the rubble, stiff cold hands could have been seen reaching
out. Rats climbed into the debris and started eating the exposed flesh of the dead. (Animal) (Body)
(terrible) I couldnt look away. Two soldiers attempted to help, but ending up as casualties. (fail 1-2)
If there ever was a hell on earth I was surely there. I closed my eyes to pretend it was some sort of a
nightmare and that I was home with my wife and son. As I laid their motionless I overheard the night
officer talking about what was happening. (body) He told the other men to make their peace with god
because tomorrow after the shelling wed be defending against an all-out invasion of an AustroHungarian support line but nothing official was released yet. (Info) If we were lucky wed be like
those boys in the rubble dead already (eavesdrop) (ideal) I havent been an honest man my

entire my life and Ive committed my fair share of sins, but if tonight was my last night on earth I know
Id go to hell. The shelling became almost random, we just prayed that the rounds didnt land on top
of the bunker. You couldnt tell what was thunder and what was artillery. (weather) When I signed up
for this I didnt think Id end up here. It was advertised as making a difference but the only thing Ive
learned is that we will do anything to stay alive and at any cost. Almost everyone carries the onethousand-meter stare except the fresh blood we got in earlier this week and even then, I see
something dyeing inside them. In a room, full of people, Ive never felt so cold and alone. It wasnt
until the next morning when the clouds had parted and the sun kissed the trenches that I realized
how much destruction was around us. (weather) The landscape was baron and void of life. Just the
stench of rotting bodies in a graveyard of mud and blood. Burnt husk of trees tangled in rusted
barbed wire just reminded us whats on the far side of the battlefield. There is no peace here, just the
grim reaper standing idly by. Who knew that man was so capable of this level of destruction? I
wonder if 100 years if the land will heal and flourish with life. (prophecy) Will we be remembered as
heroes of Europe? Or the crusaders of the north. I thought about this long and hard when Id be
posted on the decade trench wall.(text) After the all clear was given we mustered out of the bunker
to feel the suns rays. After assuming my post on the wall, I overheard some of the soldiers saying
that over three million artillery shells were fired and that it was so loud that it was heard over the
English Channel as far as London. (Ocean) All I know is whatever happens next is that my wife and
son know that I love them very much. I hope you know that I did everything in my power to make it
back to you, and if I should end up a casualty of this war know that I did not suffer and died for
something greater than myself. If I had to do it again Id sacrifice everything for your safety and
wouldnt change a thing. The countdown has begun so I must be brief before the first whistles sound.
(count) With all the love in my heart Sir Frederick Williams.
Mr. William struggles to close the journal but manages to find the strength. (end)(body) The
grandfather clock continues to tick in the behind him and thunder sounds in the distance. (weather)
He looks to the fire and lets out a brief smile. (light)

1. _x_ Do not say the word (or any derivative of the word) end anywhere in the paper X
2. _x__ Primarily present tense narration X
3. _x_ A one-word title X
4. __x_ An eruption (ERUPT)x
5. _x__ An ending that connects to a beginning (END/BEGIN)
6. _x__ A timeline that does not exceed three days x
7. _x__ A detailed description of a world (WORLD)x
8. _x_ An epigraph that complicates the story (EPIGRAPH) X
9. _x_ A vivid description of an ideal situation (IDEAL)x
10.__x__ A vivid description of a terrible situation (TERRIBLE) x
11.__x_ A prophecy (PROPHECY)x
12.__x_ Three experts are characterized (EX 1-3)
13. __x_ Two failed attempts to solve the same problem (FAIL 1-2)
14. _x__ A sacrifice (SACRIFICE) x
15. _x__ Three tremors (TREMOR 1-3) x

16. _x__ An instance of eavesdropping (EAVESDROP)x

17. __x_ A countdown (COUNT)
18. __x_ Ocean waves (OCEAN) X
19. __x_ An insider (INSIDER) X
20. __x_ A reference to sunrise or sunset (SUNRISE/SET) x
21. __x_ At least one animal behaves strangely (ANIMAL) x
22. _x__ Information is withheld (INFO) x
Details
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

_x_ 5 references to lighting (LIGHT 1-5) xxxxx

_x_ a detailed description of a voice (VOICE) x
_x_ 5 references to body language (BODY 1-5)xxxxx
_x_ 5 references to weather (WEATHER 1-5) xxxxx
_x_ 5 references to a texture (TEXT 1-5) xxxx