Tish Hill

This I Believe

I believe in family taking care of family. I was in the fifth grade at the time. , I remember
getting off the school bus to walk home, since my stop was only around the corner from our
building it took less than five minutes to get home. Walking home, I started to daydream
about what I would do that weekend. As I got closer to our building I noticed my mom and
dad talking with each other which was surprising. because I hadnt expected to be going to
my grandmothers house that weekend; my dad lived with my grandmother. When I
approached them my mom said that I was going to stay with my dad and grandmother for
a little while with no real explanation as to why. I remember the tears stinging my eyes as
my mom hugged me as tight as she could and told me she that she loved me and I would be
home soon.

About a month later I learned that my mother had a drug problem and

someone had called the Department of Social Services (DSS).

and tThey had probable

cause to remove my two siblings and I from my moms custody until she went for
counseling and completed a drug program. At 10 years old all I knew was that my
grandmother was taking care of me but for her it was more than that; I was her
granddaughter-her flesh and blood- and she wasnt going to have it any other way. She
believed in family being a priority, you do what you have to do with no questions asked.
Fast forward to the age of 24, my 19-year-old sister was suffering from post-partum
depression and was at risk of losing custody of my 3-month old niece. My sister was in
denial about her condition.

and She swore my mom and I were out to get her and make

her life miserable when in reality we were just trying to help her. My sister and I didnt
exactly have a sisterly bond.

and wWe only dealt with each other when necessary. She

Tish Hill
This I Believe
couldnt stand the fact that I was the big sister and I hated the fact that my mom played up
to her sometimes.

It got to the point where anytime she came around we would get into arguments over the
way she acted towards the baby so eventually she stopped bringing her to my moms house
for visits.
Its September 11, 2001, three months had gone by with no word from my sister. I was
sitting in front of the television stuck watching the news coverage of the terrorist attacks. ,
tThe phone rings and its my sister calling asking if we wanted to see the baby. Of course
we wanted to see her! I hung with her and told my mom about the call and five minutes later
I was out the door. on my way to pick up the baby. When I met my sister she told me the
baby needed diapers, which let me know that was the only reason she was had called, but
whatever the case I was excited to see my niece. Everyone was so excited to see her when I
got back to the house. A month went by with no word from my sister and to be honest that
was fine with me. I didnt feel like arguing anyway, although I had to make arrangements
for a sitter while I worked I didnt mind because I had a piece of mind. Even though I
stilled lived with my parents my niece was my responsibility. One night after work, I
worked mid shift so I got off at 11pm. I got home and my niece was gone, my mom told me
my sister had come earlier that day saying she wanted to take her out for a while and she
would bring her back and so far, she hadnt. After two days of not hearing anything about
my niece, who by now I now considered a true part of me, I was feeling sick not knowing
how she was how she doing and that was driving me crazy. Luckily on the third day, my

Tish Hill
This I Believe
cousin was at a friends house and saw my sister there with my niece and made her bring
the baby back to my moms house. When I got home from work I couldnt be happier to
hear the sweet sounds of a 6-month old was music to my ears. See, my sister realized that I
didnt mind taking care of my niece so she wanted to show me that she was in charge.

Her idea was to let me know that she was in charge when it came to my niece and there was
nothing I could say or do about it. After that incident I realized my sister didnt want to be
a mother but she didnt want me to raise her child either. At that time, I had no children
and part of me wanted it to stay that way, however I knew what I had to do; my family
stepped up and took care of me so I would do the same for her. I knew taking care of her
would change my life in a major way but I couldnt think about that, she needed me and
that was all there was to it. So I went to the courthouse and filed for permanent custody.
Saying the process was easy would be a lie. I had to go to court alone - my mom didnt
want to get in the middle of the custody battle even though she knew that was the right
thing to do - and at times it was daunting, but I hung in there for the fight. The way I saw it
was that I wasnt going to allow anyone to mistreat a child even if it was my sister. The
battle went on for two years with me having to appear in court every 90 days to prove that
my sister was unfit to care for her child. Trust me, when I tell you that whole process wore
me down, no one wants to speak badly of a relative let alone a sibling. Ultimately I ended
up winning permanent custody of my niece in July 2003.

Tish Hill
This I Believe
On September 11, 2016 we celebrated our 15 th anniversary together and life couldnt be
sweeter, as I raise my niece as my daughter. She is the best thing that has ever happened to
me and if I had to do it all over again I would do the same thing because nothing means
more to me than family. Parys taught me how to be a mom; how to love and appreciate
life, as well as to how to believe in something greater than myself.

I always say God

blessed me with 2 children and the ability to be give birth once. Without Parys and my
belief that family comes first, my happiness would only be a fantasy. Im thankful I had a
grandmother to show me family took care of family because I love my girls and I wouldnt
have it any other way.