«syed NU He * WM ks oe De Conversion Ae ee i ae oi When I remember church, | see broken glass, Shards shaming Joseph's coat, Rainbowed, tingling, huifmed with morning sun, vom al umm< ow Bee | see the shards bound together, hand by hand, Po, ses 4 let xt, ge Ode NT roe? What once was called glass bathed in you, in me, in an) people Ho ait? eld lndyerotones pare cesrarote fase wet Ise gX'the colors contrasted against white washed walls, ‘empty tombs, empty book shelves, and then living water bathed in light, kaleidoscoping fragmetted hearts into the Si ae eioscoping fregmeted bears . 3 of distorted knowing. Full shards stitched to neighbor, stitched EDs “~p oe to Love, mere fuses in the light of likeness. Z* _eeeeE atthe ‘And | remember a tarnished, gold saucer, Bent on the edge from when Nick and | ran sto “Round pews, Jericho’s walls, up and down, back, forth, ‘et Gold saucer sinking in the sea of layghgr, Doused and bent into what it means to be born, 10 what it means to be live. Into what it means to be boy, But what I remember most is fastor Michael dipping hands into the coolness of water, bringing up with it~ Salvation. Three fingers licking the bottom, then flicking— ‘one—two—three— seven drops on brow, dousing me in what it means to be hol, what it means to be whole, whatit means to be an image, pe broken glass in a sea of light. | Bie ws oe spe oO aeBee Bites ‘ mt You were tying your shoe. The left ne. Conversei{ sneakers with red stars, stars that e: kicked like flint to heel against black asphalt, f and a bony knee plying open the break in your pant, With each stride. And | was there. Standing. Apart from You. Ina field where weeds sprung up it As white flowers with hearts of gold, ut oll oh a, Yellowed pollen that fluttered along the ie tet Backs of the bumblebees. Aboy sue a len | mn oe amongdf the natural, the being. ~ et {0 B (eee cee Pe fh Until one stung you. Brave Nick. Strong Nick. The Nick that never cried. You told me it was only pollen in your eye. 727% Bee bites and spring days, the times we went pring days, pik fe Out to play. You squeezed my hand and told me it uly Neck Would allbe Okby. ate $m the sunk shrrm, =I aals Soot vay by gerdTo Nick gs ee fingers against scalp, your hair fon yar “hs | bending like wheat in wind. A? a wn | rubbed in the beginnings of \ a Aworld of you and me in the dark. ‘Traced a brow line to a crooked lip, Grazed the clogged pores of a young man. st push fe aoe dh ghost dats Undercover minorities in the light, Undercover minorities it Fi ling a place where we could be known.Bed-side Table Bibles You fell asleep, thick arm hanging ‘on my shoulder ee Loud snoring breaking the 3am into wake, 4 eo tay {tucked by heat] Staring at gold letters cut by King James, 4 The taunt hide of God Gold ink catching “_t bent blinds, awh Upward Fingers pressed op faye | at i a in 5} for your tethers car ca 0 et seeing if business trips have a second coming 4s (bars bent) Light dripping inWatching the Nick that became my home, and | wonder, ‘About the Father who left. st ste nya Rae Ss3 Faucet yr y 7 Have you tried to clasp on? Water washing away a day's dirt, Have you felt the coolness of water Clenching and unclen Knocking against the white basin with fever— fac Us feels Water—Dirt—Skin’s cells—Churned, chopped, a pt a Ai EW mixed. Muddled without prejudice. All of you baptized th hog pot ie % ed into the sink by a faucet, grey necked, knobbed handed, | ht Lele it tet ea alte i ell: we Sanctifying in the experience, a eee a f fl as the ocean welcomes all of you home. 3 ltdIt was not Sex (After Thom Gunn's “The Hug”) it was not sex it was ketchup that turned me on how it hugged when you smiled yt it was breath it was devious the corners your mouth dosett ul os Rell mouth’s corners filled with breath hot air rising from bed morning gek a straight sexel por? latent buns muffled voice 8a.m. shadow it was the guilt Sparkled eye bluffing iknow you hold a pair of kings us , ae I (ik ef : ptt i web ee ted ep fen + deRevelation 9 Quid * — Rooded bark laid perpen Wood by wood, planked flooring, ular, ‘pn Murmured voices clung like dust 4 On purple pews, mothrbit and butted Head bent, knee numbed, with the umbered-eyed planks wating) 7 itd nog He en Oto fare he ; / Fanos thy ee ap he isthe todd God Almighty.” And | unclasp my purple hands* to stroke the sky, gd feel the empty ‘embrace of the congregation, voices, “Who was and is’ ‘Trees’ white pupils wiafng” on see Mouthing, I knelt to the alter, and mouthed 47 “and who failed to come.” "Holy, holy, holy + On October 31, 1969, The peaceful protest against the "homophobic editorial policies” of the Exominer turned tumultuous as ink was dumped ‘on them from the third story window. The protestors used the ink to write pro-gay slogans throughout downtown San Francisco. ("Straight News: Gays, Lesbians, and the News”).Seven Years Iprayed to God Wet pillow slips. Hand-eye rubbing. Knees bent. Eyes clasped. Teeth barred. Silent screams of pain. I prayed to God “Abomination,” congregational amen. Chorus ok Chanting, “it’s your choice.” Praying for the dead. | prayed to God t pally yok 1 7 | prayed to God Psychiatrist referral. Black. Cold | ene aaa Sticking to thigh. Reading specs. Failure. I prayed to God Cat calls whistle through locker rooms. Showers. Dodgeball’s judgment day. 7 | prayed to God Door clicked locked. Face smash face. Hand Wild and electric. Finding you in the dark. | prayed to God And this is what | got.