Ortega 1

Danira Ortega
Professor Batty
English 28
13 December 2016
In this essay, I had to revise each paragraph to make sure that I wasnt repeating myself
or using unnecessary words which would just fill the gaps that I had to make it to the page length
that I needed for the assignment. The main issue that I had in my essay was one of the quotes
from the book Enriques Journey because the context in which I was trying to use the quote
didnt match the issue I was trying to relate it to. I needed to find a way to implement another
quote in that part of the essay because if I decided to leave it on that paragraph, then I had to
change the sentences I had previously for the paragraph to make sense or just delete that quote
and add one in another paragraph which is what I did. I realized that I could use one of the
statistics that the author, Sonia Nazario, gives in the last chapter called Afterward. The quote was
implemented in the paragraph where I talk about the programs that Obama had created. I thought
that these statistics would help the reader have a better perspective of why it was so important to
find the policies which would accommodate to much of the population. Another change that I
had to made was split my second paragraph because the length was long. I separated the
paragraph by leaving the one who is talking about the three and ten-year bar as the main
paragraph and create the other two propositions that were related to the first one as a continuity
to this paragraph.