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Dick Sutphen - Fix Everything in Your Life at Once - 10 - Improve Your Love Life PDF
Dick Sutphen - Fix Everything in Your Life at Once - 10 - Improve Your Love Life PDF
T E N
Improve Your
Love Life
What kind of relationship do you desire to establish? Is it time to change how you
view your relationship? Everyone wants to have a warm, joyful, fulfilling relationship in
which shared experiences encourage mutual growth and happiness. But many people
would be thrilled just to find themselves in a relationship that is not a source of pain or
anguish. Even when the relationship doesnt breed conflict, couples often experience the
fear-based emotions of jealousy, possessiveness, anger and envy. Yet they talk of love.
Dont wait for your mate to effect positive change. Like any aspect of life; you get as
much out of a relationship as you put into it. Most people dont take the initiative in
their lives. Rather, they live life at minimal risk, waiting for others to take the initiative
so they can react. Positive change must begin with your efforts. You may fear you will be
rejected or your attempts may fail. Maybe you wont succeed, but at least you become an
active participant and know you gave your best. Responsibility is the basis of
transformation.
1. Do things together.
Activity builds a strong foundation for a good relationship. These activities should
be other than having sex or watching television together. Get out and exercise together,
work on a shared hobby, socialize, share a crossword puzzle, cook a gourmet meal
together or do something you both enjoy. When you can be friends as well as lovers
your union will be much more likely to serve as a refuge of balance and harmony.
2. Do things separately.
Individual activity is essential for the personal development of each partner. Always
challenge yourself with new learning that will support your self-esteem. You need to
take the time to nourish yourself emotionally and psychologically. Remain independent
in spirit, yet committed to the partnership.
all married men have had an affair. One major poll claimed 72 percent. One percent of
women have been involved sexually with an animal. Most people enjoy oral sex and a
good percentage enjoy anal sex. Statistics are more difficult to obtain in other areas of
sexuality, such as group sex, swinging, threesomes, S&M, et cetera ... But millions of
people have had these sexual experiences. And what about the average frequency of
sexual intercourse? Statistics show that generally, a couple in their 20s are likely to have
sex every day. 30-to 40-year-olds have sex between two and three times a week, 40-to 50years-olds once a week, and 60 plus, less than once a week. Two out of three men in
their 70s are still sexually active.
These are just some facts about what is with sex. And, youre not abnormal if none
of the fantasies or statistics relate to you. Objective norms dont really exist. There is no
right or wrong. The idea is to stop judging yourself and stop judging others. Its time to
ask yourself, Does what I do sexually work for me? Does it manifest love, health and
happiness ... and does it allow me full self-expression?
9. Stop blaming.
It is easier for many people to blame others and fate for their circumstances, and to
play the part of the victim, than to take responsibility for their life. But blame is nothing
but an expression of self-pity. And blame always makes matters worse, leastwise by
programming your subconscious mind negatively. The subconscious mind operates like
a computer. Thus, if you program it with negativity, it will generate negativity. In data
processing terms this is GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out. So the idea is to give up all
blame. The happiest couples are those who take full responsibility for their lives.
experiences. Your computer says it is all right for you to do what you do as compared to
the past, for when you did something similar in the past you survived. Since your
subconscious mind operates like a logical machine, it cannot be wrong. To be wrong
threatens its survival. So the only way it can function is to make you feel correct. Your
subconscious computer doesnt care if you get what you want out of life. It just needs to
be right to protect itself. So, your computer gets to be right and you lose the game.
By becoming aware of your programming you can begin to detach from the buttons
that cause you to act like a machine ... like a robot. A robot has no choice in the way it
acts. It has wiring and circuits that are set up so that when a button is pushed it reacts
according to programming. But you are the same way. Being challenged pushes your
button and you instantly need to be right.
So, knowing this, let the other person be right. Until you can move him past his need
to be right, there can be no real communication. Sometimes you can do this by simply
saying, Yes, I understand that you feel that way. This acknowledges his rightness and
can take him off of tilt. Then he can focus upon the problem at hand. When you give up
the need to be right, chances are youll start winning the game.
13. Exercise!
Physical fitness is a definite advantage in the bedroom, if only because it enhances
endurance. All too often non-orgasmic women simply tire out before they can orgasm.
So if you are not already involved in an exercise program, it is time to start one. Even
moderate physical activity is accompanied by positive mental and physical changes.
Studies measuring mental function after a ten week program of jogging, calisthenics and
other physical recreation show significant improvements in intelligence, speed of
performance, learning and brain function, as well as decreased depression and lowered
anxiety. Memory, attention span and motivation were also positively affected by
exercise ... all of which indirectly relate to a better love life.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how
to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I accept my lovers uniqueness without expectations.
I support my lover in ways that increase self-esteem.
I let the little things go, detaching from negativity.
I totally commit to my relationship.
The greatest gift I can give my lover is to be all of who I am.
I am open to communicate and share myself.
I listen and am willing to appreciate my lovers position even when we dont agree.
I rise above anger by asking myself, Am I seeking approval or control?
I always make time for my lover.
I communicate what I want directly and honestly.
I would rather win the game than be right.
Every day I use opportunities to show my love.
I now nutritionally balance my diet and make exercise part of my lifestyle.
I realize that a loving and caring relationship is the ultimate aphrodisiac.