Hero

====
Last night, an incident took place at Boat Quay. What happened
was some idiot was trying to show off and declared that he will swim
across the Singapore River. He jumped in and started swimming. Before he
could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic and started to
shout for help.
Being typical Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch
and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap.
Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned to see a guy
doing what seemed like a desperate attempt to reach the drowning
victim. It was clear that this hero couldn't swim !
Luckily a tongkang filled with tourists was passing by and the
operator saw the incident and picked both men from the water. The crowd
cheered !
Back on shore, the crowd cheered again as the hero stepped off
the tongkang. "Steady Lah ! " "Awright man !" were among the many
congratulations shouted.
The hero looked angry and shouted "Kanena ! Siang too wa loh
chui" (*%#@! Who pushed me into the water ?)........
Sons
====
Four mothers got together and were discussing their sons.
"Our family has Royal blood." said the first proud woman.
"When my son enters a room, people look at him and say, 'Oh, Your
Highness'"
The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a
room,people say, 'Oh, Your Excellency'"
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a
room, people say, 'Oh, Your Eminence'"
The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is short, weighs 185
kilos, and bald. People actually WORSHIPS him" she said, "When he
enters a room, people look at him and say, 'Oh My God!'"