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ANewLanguageforLife PDF
ANewLanguageforLife PDF
A
N E W L A N G UA G E
FOR LIFE
Happy
No Matter What!
LOUIS KOSTER
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe
the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional,
or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly
or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of
a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual
well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for
yourself, which is your right, the author and the publisher assume no
responsibility for the consequences of your actions.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any written, electronic,
recording, or photocopying without written permission of the publisher
or author. The exception would be in the case of brief quotations
embodied in critical articles or reviews and pages where permission is
specifically granted by the publisher or author.
Acknowledgments xi
Foreword xv
Introduction xvii
1 My Story 1
2 Being True to Yourself 31
ix
17 Having a True Sense of Who You Are 109
18 Seeing Everyhing as it Actually Is 117
19 Acceptance of Lifes Impermanence 121
20 The Power to Express Yourself Authentically 127
21 The Power to Be Free to Be 133
22 The Power to Be Forgiving 145
23 You Have the Power to Trust Yourself and
Dream 149
24 Diamond of Being 155
x
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
xi
A N E W L AN GUAGE FOR LIFE
xii
ACK NOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you!
xiii
xiv
FOREWORD
xv
it must be experienced to be known. He also expressed
an ongoing feeling that the teachings of the gurus over
the past 40 years had failed to provide easy access to
that awareness; that there isbeside the material world,
which is bound by time and space and plagued by sick-
ness, accident and deatha world that is eternal, whole,
and harmonious; a world where you realize that happi-
ness is the essence of your very being. I believe that his
awareness of this other reality and the implicit trust that
touched him, inspired him to come up with The Choice
and The Insighttwo elegant simple affirmations which,
if practiced whole heartedly, inevitably open you up to
the realization that joy and happiness is your true nature.
Ewald Einoder, MD
xvi
INTRODUCTION
xvii
Please pass this book along to a family member, a
friend, or a colleague that you know will find this book
helpful and inspiring. You will be giving a great gift to
them.Together lets raise the level of consciousness of
humanity!
Thank you for reading A New Language for Life. Enjoy
your journey. It will open your eyes, your heart, and your
mind.
Louis Koster, MD
Fall 2015
xviii
SHARE WITH ME
xix
1
MY STORY
1
involved none of the human interaction I craved. I felt
disconnected, as if I was being forced to abandon my
dreams. Memorizing without any meaningful context was
difficult, too abstract for me. It was not the way my brain
worked. Throughout med school, I felt out of place and
as if my life was suspended. My father encouraged me by
saying: Louis, next year will be better when you get more
clinically oriented subjects. But next year was the same as
the previous year, just a bit different in subject matter.
I worked myself through medical school, passing
exams, never losing a year. After my fourth year, I interned
in a hospital. Finally, I was working with patients! I
thought everything would come togetherfall in place.
My initial excitement after four years of studying hard,
passing exams and finally entering the clinical phase
quickly faded away. The rush of the hospital intimidated
me along with the inapproachability of senior doctors
and their sense of self-importance. The environment
was not to my likingin the coffee room, there was a
lot of gossip about the doctors; a lot of talk of who the
nurses liked and didnt like. I wanted to learn how to be
a doctor and care for my patients. Instead, as a junior
resident I was limited to running errands for the ward
doctors, delivering urine samples to the laboratory,
taking bloodthe only doctoring was making initial
assessments when patients were admitted.
I found it difficult to balance the pressure of excelling
at my tasks with my desire to genuinely learn. I felt that I
2
M Y S TO RY
My stammering
For as long as I can remember, my speaking was fast and
I stumbled over words. It didnt happen all the time, but
fairly often when I spoke. It wasnt a problem until I was
called to speak in class in fourth grade for an oral exam.
Even though I knew the answers, it took time and effort
for me to get the first word out in a sentence. If you saw the
Oscar winning film, The Kings Speech, you would under-
stand what I went through. When I spoke and stumbled
over my words, children started laughing. I made an effort
to speak without stammering, but it only made it worse.
3
At first, I didnt realize what was going on. I felt frus-
trated and entangled in my speech. For the first time in
my life, my speaking was not just fast; it was struggling to
find a way to express itself. Now, a new awareness had set
in . . . I was a stammerer.
With that realization, I sentenced myself to be a stam-
merer. From that moment, I was defined by my speech
and felt entrapped inside of something that negated my
spirit, my very being. The solution to my dilemma was to
hide how I spoke. I invalidated myself and avoided situ-
ations where people could find out that I had a speech
impediment. I built my own prison of being. My life now
was about how not to be a stammerer.
Persevering
Despite being rebuked by the head of the Pediatrics
Department, I was still determined to become a doctor.
I continued my residency and when I assisted during
surgeries, I excelled. Some procedures were apparent to
me; I had observed them many times. I also discovered
that I had a keen eye for surgical anatomy, particularly
with respect to difficult abdominal operations, where
knowledge of the anatomy could spare an artery, prevent
a major bleeding, and preserve vital structures.
One day on morning rounds, a senior surgeon asked
me to brief him on patients conditions. I was thoroughly
prepared, but when I began speaking, I stammered.
The surgeon glared at me impatiently, he was obviously
annoyed. He snapped questions at me hoping to speed
4
M Y S TO RY
Breaking down
That evening, while I was telling my girlfriend about my
experience, my body suddenly went off on its own. With-
out my conscious permission, it began to curl into the
fetal position. I was now fully aware this was happening
and could witness my body moving. Since I didnt want
my body to curl, I stopped the movement. Immediately, I
felt an overwhelming anxiety, and had a sense that there
was no future or past, and it occurred to me that if I were
to allow this experience to continue, I would disintegrate.
5
Because I was a medical student, my head vibrated with
all kind of thoughts. Is this a psychotic event? I mentally
went through the different criteria that make up psychiatric
diagnoses. Intuitively, I knew that the support standard
medical practice could offer me was limited. Just a few
months before, I had finished a residency in psychiatry,
where I had spent three months on a psychiatric ward
interviewing patients, taking their history, listening to
my supervisors talking about the patient in ways that I
found disgusting and dehumanizing. I thought, If I was
at the hospital and was seen by a resident, he or she would
immediately admit me, pump me full of drugs against my
will. I might even see my colleagues from the university
looking at me with fascination. I decided that psychiatry
was not the direction I wanted to go.
For the next two months, I lived literally from
moment to moment and tried to sort out my life. I found
that there was really no language that expressed who I
was; there was no language that set up the next hearbeat.
Although I was unsure as to what I should do, I was
determined to move on, and reclaim my life. To make it
through, I blocked out debilitating thoughts that could
drag me into a valley of despair.
Throughout it all, I was acutely aware of my being. It
was crystal clear to me that all of this was not really who I
was. I sensed the essence of my being beyond the struggle.
My feelings and my present state were out of synch with
the essence of who I truly was. Something spoke in me
6
M Y S TO RY
that there was more to life than this. I realized that I had to
hold life in another way.
I realized that something had to shift in me to reclaim
my life. So I made a plan to heal myself and get back on
track.
7
I learned to be courageous. I realized that who I really
am was not going to fall apart by feeling diminished in the
face of peoples ridicule. I stopped resisting my stammering
and was able to stand the discomfort. I realized that the
feeling of diminishment was not going to destroy my
being. On the contrary, to my amazement, I discovered
that being able to stand the diminishment, allowing for the
experience, left me in a space of an authentic freedom to be.
I started to reclaim my capacity to speak fluently.
With every step I took of challenging my fears, I was
reclaiming part of me that I had forgotten. As I gained
more confidence, I thought about the future. I asked myself,
Whats next?
8
M Y S TO RY
Hitchhiking
A series of those rides got me to the border of France
and Spain. At that crossroad, I stood in the hot midday
sun watching long lines of cars as they stopped before
resuming their journey. When I saw a woman driving
with two young children, I gathered courage, waved to
her, and vowed not to stammer. In broken French, I ask
her for a ride.
Sure, where are you going? she answered.
Malaga, I said.
Bien sure, she replied and showed me where to put
9
my luggage. Then I slipped into the rear seat. We drove
all that day and night to the South of Spain, and spoke
continually. Her husband worked in Geneva with the
United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. I told
her that I had been a medical student, and filled her in on
my experience.
Marie had a refreshing openness, great kindness, and
a worldly view that opened my eyes to another panorama
of life. She and her husband had worked for the Inter-
national Rescue Committee in Asian refugee camps,
mainly with Vietnamese boat people. She told me how a
young French doctor had made an enormous difference
working in those camps helping people in need. I was
engrossed and inspired so I barraged her with questions.
Marie told me about her husband and her efforts, about
the refugees, their living conditions, suffering, and the
dangers they endured.
Our talks struck a nerve and rekindled dreams that I
had buried. I thought about what it would be like to work
as a doctor for the needy and underprivileged; to practice
humanitarian medicine. The idea of applying my knowl-
edge to help others excited and inspired me.
Malaga
We arrived in Malaga at 5:30 a.m. after talking non-stop.
I wasnt the slightest bit tired, in fact, just the opposite:
I was energized, super-charged. As we drove, the first
rays of sun were breaking through the half-darkness, and
10
M Y S TO RY
11
fish early each morning. I approached one of the fisher-
men and asked in my Spanish, whether I could go with
him that day. He gestured for me to get aboard, and he
prepared to launch the boat.
Soon we were at sea. I was thrilled. As the cool breeze
invigorated my skin, I felt a sense of wonder, awe, and the
feeling that I was genuinely alive. In the morning darkness,
we laid out nets, which we would collect when they were
filled with fish. Then we moved further out to sea to lay
more nets.
We had silent intervals and, at times, I lost myself in
the quiet. I never felt so relaxed. The stress of medical
school was a distant past. From time to time, my reverie
was shattered when the fisherman started the engine
to venture further out. When it was time to harvest the
catch, I helped haul in the nets and corral the fish. It was
hard, but exhilarating work.
The next day, I went to my first Spanish lesson. My class
was made up of nine students, all beginners of different
nationalities. Lola, our teacher, introduced herself and
asked us to state our names, where we came from, and tell
the class something about ourselves. When my turn came,
I decided to relate my experience on the fishing boat,
which still excited me.
As I spoke, our teacher looked at me strangely. Then
she broke into a great big smile and said, That fisherman
is my father. So, youre the stranger who approached him
and he took to sea!
12
M Y S TO RY
The flamenco
I was driven to get a deeper sense of the city. So I walked the
streets. I took in the sights, the sounds, tastes, and smells.
I got lost, found my way again, and then got lost again.
At some point, I knew every crack in the sidewalks, every
bump in the roads. Even some faces seemed familiar. The
Spanish language became musical and less confounding to
me. I was beginning to understand more words and phrases.
As I walked, I realized that for the first time in my
life, I was where I alone chose to be, doing what I alone
chose to do on my own timetable and terms. Since it
was my decision to come to Malaga, Iand only I
was completely responsible for every experience I had.
There was no room for complaining or doing anything
that would take me away from the full experience I
came to Malaga to enjoy.
I started to take weekly lessons from a private flamenco
teacher. She taught me the Paso Doble. In the beginning,
my steps were like my speech: stuttering, stumbling, and
struggling. But with practice, I improved. At night, I went
to bars where I practiced my dancing. I focused on my
movements, and ignored my internal chatter and peoples
looks and words.
After a few weeks, I took a bus to Seville, where fla-
menco dancing is a way of life. I found little bars where
people came to dance. At these bars, people encouraged
one another to dance; they danced freely, gracefully, and
put on an amazing show.
13
As each song began, people, mostly couples, stepped
onto the tiny dance floor. Then they passionately let
loose. It was a celebration of life. Elegantly, the dancers
stood erect, proud, and poised. As they turned, posed,
and postured, each movement was deliberate and
emphatic. I had tears in my eyes.
As I was watching, I held an internal dialog with myself.
You can do it. I said. But then something inside of
me replied, Louis, youre a foreigner, this is not your
dance. Youre an amateur, while these people have danced
the flamenco all their lives.
During this debate, palpitations gripped me, my
mouth was dry. Slowly, cautiously, I rose, navigated
between the chairs, and moved onto the little dance floor.
People shouted words of encouragement tinged with
surprise and even some laughter. All eyes were on the
Gringo. Not only was I in the spotlight, but my presence
on the dance floor was being sent by satellite all over the
universe, even to undiscovered planetsand everyone
was watching.
Despite my fears, or perhaps because of them, I threw
myself into the dance. I threw myself into being. To clear
my mind, I closed my eyes and I focused on the music.
All of a sudden, the music of the flamenco caught me.
It entered my arteries and flowed through me. At that
moment, I felt that no one else was in the room. I was
alive, flowing smoothly, gracefully.
When I opened my eyes, people were silent and awe
14
M Y S TO RY
Redemption
My three months in this small fishing village near Malaga
was quickly coming to a close. I had just finished my last
class and had two remaining days to say good-bye to
Malaga and my many new friends.
The mountains beckoned to me as I ventured over
the curling streets that headed toward them with no
clear destination in sight. Finding a low, stone wall, I sat
absorbing the warmth of the passing summer afternoon
with my legs dangling over the side. My five-year old kid-
self yearned to pop out to any passerby, Who wants to
play with me? Who wants to play with me?
This was the moment to say good-bye. I contemplated
the remarkable journey that I was part of and was part of
15
me. I felt energized, excited. I felt as if I had reclaimed my
life, and all that had happened before my journey did not
matter anymore. I had come home to being. Now I was
going home. Then I thought:
16
M Y S TO RY
Returning home
When I arrived back in my home town, Utrecht, it felt
as if I was speaking another language. I was no longer
dwelling in a language that was accusatory, a language of
complaining, a language of shoulds and musts. I felt
completely responsible for my life. It was as if I was in
touch with another dimension. I felt empowered by life.
I had reclaimed my voice.
17
I went to see my parents, and let them know that I was
committed to finish medical school and was intending
to work for Doctors without Borders. My father was
genuinely delighted. In his delight, there was a recogni-
tion shining through of fully embracing my decision as
in keeping with the true spirit of medicine. He wrote a
letter to the governing board of medical school, letting
them know that his son had seen the light and regretted
his letter to the board six months earlierthe infamous
letter that told them that they could all stuff themselves.
He then made an appeal to give me a chance to finish
medical school and dedicate my life to humanity.
My father was well-respected in the medical commu-
nity and knew most people on this board. He received
a reply that I was to appear with him before a panel to
make our case. I was thrilled and excitedI had another
chance, this time as the new me . . . the real me.
When we appeared, my father was asked if he could
guarantee that I would not display any further rebellious
behavior, and he answered with an unqualified, Yes.
Then one of the senior professors looked at me and said,
We will allow you to resume your studies, but under one
condition . . . His pause gave me a chill, but I was willing
to take any condition, thinking of my conversation with
Marie on that long drive through the night from the French
border to Malaga. I said Yes, what is your condition?
Our condition is . . . one word of stammering, and
you are out!
18
M Y S TO RY
Losing my voice
Next, I went to see my now ex-girlfriend. I dont know
why, but I had this urge to share my recent journey
with her and reconnect with her now that I had a new
awareness. I was very nervous, and didnt know how to
begin. So I just jumped in, told her about my journey
and the key decisions I made that led me to my new
freedom to be.
She listened attentively. She was very encouraging and
showed a genuine interest. I was energized and pleased
that she didnt think I was speaking a foreign language to
her . . . I was happy that we parted amicably.
A few weeks later, when I saw her again, she was talk-
ing about her family, how she felt about her life, As she
spoke, it dawned on me that none of the things that I said
to her had made a difference in her; none had shifted
concerns that preoccupied her.
It was then that I realized that the fact I had shared my
transformation with her had not made any difference,
and my way of communicating did not give her a new
awareness. It took me totally by surprise, and it floored
me. The sense of presence that I treasured after my return
19
from Spain was totally wiped out in one conversation. It
felt as if I had lost my voice again. I felt devastated.
After a few days dwelling in my own misery, I recol-
lected myself, and vowed to recapture the spirit of this
awareness that had escaped me. I vowed to recapture the
spirit of the language that allowed me to be authentic
to the core of myself. I also decided to learn what I was
oblivious to at that time.
What had to become transparent for me to communi-
cate effectively was:
Keeping my promise
I finished medical school without stammering one word
and kept my promise to work for Doctors without Bor-
ders. I worked for 10 years on and off in war zones, Bos-
nia, Angola, Liberia, the Southern-Sudan, with refugees
20
M Y S TO RY
Testing my beliefs
If you really want to know who and what you are, try
working as a doctor in a war zone. Five years had passed
since my first awakening. When serving as a medical
coordinator of a surgical unit for the International Com-
mittee of the Red Cross in Southeast Angola during the
civil war, I got my first real test.
We heard in the early morning, the far away rumble
of a truck. In the Angolan bush, you dont see . . . you
hear. As it approached, we saw what looked to be several
21
soldiers resting in the back. People ran to the truck and
started shouting. When I came close to the truck, I saw
eight young men in blood-soaked uniforms. It took me a
few seconds to realize that there was nothing in the lower
parts of those blood-soaked uniformsone or both of
their legs were missing. It was as if the upper bodies of
a puppet had been cast aside in the back of that truck,
forgotten by the owner.
It was a surreal experience. I expected to hear moans
and faces expressing agony. What I heard instead was
nothingthere was silence. Some of the young men
were already dead as we carried them from the truck.
We learned that they were rebel child-soldiers who had
stepped on mines. They had travelled at least one day
by the truck and mostly during the night to our surgical
unit. We quickly realized that they were severely dehy-
drated and were in shock due to blood loss. My team
worked all day and night under primitive conditions in
our attempt to prevent infections and sepsis. Those that
we could operate on and save, we did.
To this day, Im still haunted by the faces of these young
men. They were quiet and confused, not comprehending
or understanding what had just happened to them.
I felt our common humanity and at the same time, I
understood the futility of war. I saw the insanity; how we
can get lost in life and caught up in our circumstances.
I realized that my work had dealt with obvious life and
death situations. Now I felt a compelling urge to address
22
M Y S TO RY
23
I was sent to Bihac, a large town in the hills of Bosnia
that was under artillery attack from Serbs entrenched in
the surrounding mountains. The bombardment started
around 7:30 a.m. and stopped usually at exactly 8:30
a.m., only to start up again later in the morning, just
like clock-work. The ground shook with each roundit
was never clear to me what the Serbs were aiming at. My
quarters were in a building that used to be a hotel. It had
no hot water, just numbing cold. Men and women were
on the streets, moving about in a normal pace, just going
about their business.
This appearance of normality relaxed me somewhat,
despite the ever-present rumble of the artillery, firing
away in the background, as if it was a cloud passing over.
I made friends with many and enjoyed evenings in their
homes over dinner. In one home, one of the men picked
up his gun at the end of the meal, left and returned the
next morningit was time for his shift at the front.
I traveled through Bosnia in a helmet and a flak jacket.
We drove our armored land cruiser and visited hospitals
and medical posts in village after village. Many were
desertedmany had been burned down. The devastation
was massive, the death toll huge.
Four years later, and after the war had ended, I went
to visit Bosnia with a group of donors and volunteers to
inspect projects and consider funding requests. We were
visiting areas close to where I used to work in 1995 and
24
M Y S TO RY
had stopped the car to ask for directions. A very tall, thin
man walked up to us and started a casual conversation
saying that he was a Serb and knew the area very well.
Since I spoke a few words in the Bosnian language, he
asked me where I had learned it. I said, In Bihac.
Ooh, that is interesting. I was stationed near Bihac.
With a genuine curiosity and excitement of someone
who had found something in common with another per-
son, I asked him what he did during the war. His response
peaked my interest even more.
Well, I was part of an artillery unit, he said.
Going back and forth asking questions, I came to realize
that he was stationed in the hills surrounding Bihac during
the same time I was there. I said, So, were you firing shells
at Bihac?
Yes.
I now realized that I was actually speaking with some-
one, who was once firing shells on the place where I lived.
I said, May I ask you, I am just curious . . . I always won-
dered why the artillery started at 7:30 a.m. and suddenly
stopped at 8:30 a.m.?
He looked at me with a smile and seemed surprised
that I was asking him something so obvious. Sure, at
8:30 a.m. we stopped shooting, because that was the
moment we had breakfast!
Yes, war is surreal.
25
Fulfilling on my dream
Returning to Los Angeles after my mission in Bosnia, I
started a company that provided consulting services for
small businesses and organizations on effective com-
munication and teamwork. It helped fulfill my dream of
contributing to humanity by creating partnerships and
fostering community building. I worked with dedicated
volunteers, young emerging leaders in Mexico and The
Netherlands, gang leaders in South Central Los Angeles,
health organizations in Romania, and civic leaders in
Serbia. We brought transformational programs to schools
in Los Angeles and to Muslims and Christians as an
interfaith initiative after 9/11.
In 1997, Russian President Michael Gorbachev
personally invited me to become a founding member of
an organization dedicated to helping children in Russia.
Being humble
Then in 2002, I went bankrupt due to an unfortunate and
unwise investment. Bankruptcy brought an end to my
independent existence in Los Angeles and to the humani-
tarian work I had created and had invited others to join
in. I went back to my father to let him know that the
money that he had set aside to support my projects was
gone. I felt that I had let my father down. I thought that
my dream of what was possible for humanity was gone.
When I visited my father, I sensed that he already knew.
I humbled myself in asking my brother and friends
26
M Y S TO RY
27
children having fun. I was the one who was pulling her
pony tail.
Five months later we were married, eventually moving
to Australia where our beautiful daughter was born and
I practiced medicine in a small country town in Victoria
for nine years.
The Choice
Then the clouds moved in. In the fall of 2008, Australia
was struck by the Great Recession, and like many others,
I was hit hard. At one point, it was just a matter of days
until I ran out of money. I was wondering what to say to
the people I had employed in my medical practice. There
were moments that driving my car into a tree seemed like
an attractive option. Driving to work and sizing up my
life situation, it suddenly came to me that I had a funda-
mental trust in life.
28
M Y S TO RY
29
I made The Choice unconditionallywith passion. It
started me on a remarkable journey of discovering my
own truth and coming to new awareness.
Living The Choice radically changed how I viewed
myself, which changed how language shaped my life.
I call this shift in how language shaped my life A New
Language for Life; a language that connects me from a
place of authenticity and enriches how I relate to others;
a language that honors and expresses the essence of my
being; a language that speaks me.
After I made The Choice, I was no longer immobi-
lized and caught like a deer in the headlights by my
circumstances. It brought me in touch again with the
experience of being, one that I lost so many years ago in
one conversation.
The Choice led me to The Insight, another essential
pillar of A New Language for Life.
This new awareness allowed me to find that authentic
core in myself and access it through my own language. It
interrupted the cycle of despair that consists of striving
and never arriving. It brought me to a place of oneness
of being that allowed me to be true to myself. I turned
my finances around and became more successful than
I could have imagined. I had turned my word into my
magic wand.
Now, let me share with you how you can do the same.
30
2
BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF
31
v The fact that people dont trust themselves
has a lot to do with language and how
they experience themselves through the
language that shapes their lives.
32
B EI N G T RU E TO YO U R SE L F
33
freedom to be, and your language communicates who
you are. You no longer feel entrapped and say, I cant,
or Im not capable. You say, I can. I am capable. I
do have the power to manifest life as I am. I call this new
awareness and this new way of language expressing your-
self and experiencing life, A New Language for Life.
34
B EI N G T RU E TO YO U R SE L F
35
PART ONE
r
THE CHOICE
3
THE CHOICE
39
you discover a new perspective that will fundamentally
change the quality of your life. As the ancient Chinese
philosopher Lao-tzu wrote:
40
4
HOW DO I LIVE THE CHOICE?
41
Dont try to understand
Avoid intellectualizing and trying to understand The
Choice. Just let it soak in. Postpone any tendency to com-
pare The Choice with other approaches, because it will
keep you from experiencing the full power of The Choice.
Give it a chance. Embrace The Choice as if it was an
experiment, and you dont know how it will turn out.
Allow it to surprise you. Be curious, go where it takes
you, and be open to discover how it will affect you.
Remind Yourself
After I made a commitment to The Choice, I was excited
and enthusiastic. However, after a day or so, I noticed
that my commitment waned. So, I reminded myself,
which got me back on track.
Remind yourself. When you do, it will come to you
more often and more powerfully. Youll gain a new
perspective that will help you realize where you went
off track, and where you were not aligned with your
objectives.
If you think it will help, post affirmations or
reminders. Put up notes that say, I am committed to
being happy, fulfilled, and satisfied, no matter what the
circumstances of my life are.
42
H OW D O I L IV E TH E CH O I CE ?
43
5
SHIFTING TO A
NEW PERSPECTIVE
45
participation in life, which lets you become
your highest vision of yourself. The Pearls of
Wisdom allow the diamond of beingYou
to fully shine in all its wondrous splendor.
46
SH I F T I N G TO A N E W P E R SP E C T IV E
47
6
THE POWER TO RECLAIM
YOUR BEING
49
importance to you, and you realize that
there is nothing outside of yourself that
you need to actually be peaceful. It all rests
within you.
Just being liberates the human spirit.
When you move away from always striving
and wanting, you become free to be. At first,
it may seem awkward, even uncomfortable,
because you may have forgotten the
freedom of just being before. When youre
free to just be, you still have wants, but your
life revolves less around them. You are no
longer devastated or immobilized when
your wants or desires dont materialize.
A new awakening
Living The Choice becomes a passage to a new awakening.
You realize that you have the power to access your own
happiness, regardless of the circumstances.
You now realize how you have been postponing your
inner sense of fulfillment and peace, and how you have
been waiting for things to work out. But now you know
better. You now have the courage to consider something
different in your life. You are committing to being happy
and fulfilled, no matter what. You are bringing fulfillment
to your life, rather than waiting for the right circum-
stance to give you fulfillment.
At times, you have glimpses of beingyou experience
moments of profound peace and happiness. They may
actually catch you off guard. You may think that the set of
50
T H E P OW E R TO R E CL AI M YO U R B EI N G
51
When my financial situation was difficult, I
decided to move my attention away from what
I was lacking. I started to acknowledge what I
was grateful for in my life.
Realizing that life manifests as a response to
my state of being, I created a focus on serving
and giving with every patient who came into
my surgery. Serving and giving reflect a state of
abundance. Slowly my finances turned around
and abundance manifested in my life.
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T H E P OW E R TO R E CL AI M YO U R B EI N G
Freedom to play
Living The Choice allows you to restore one of the most
fundamental relationships with life: that of play. You
realize that you dont always need a reason for doing
something, but that you can just be and play. You can
engage in an activity for no particular reason other than
that you like it. And when you do, you feel happy and free.
53
v Living The Choice restores you to the one-
ness of being. This is where true happiness
reveals itself to you, beyond the language
that describes it.
54
T H E P OW E R TO R E CL AI M YO U R B EI N G
55
Shifting Your Language
56
7
THE POWER TO REENERGIZE
YOUR SENSE OF FULFILLMENT
57
gratifying, you realize that you dont actually need them.
You can stand on your own. As a result, you can confi-
dently make independent decisions. When you know
that your reasoning is correct, you place less value on
what others may think. This helps you become more of
a leader and move to the front. While you remain open
and seek good opinions and advice, you know that the
final decision is yours. You dont feel that you need out-
side assurance that youre taking the right course.
You know who you are, where you are, and you trust
yourself.
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T H E P OW E R TO R E E N E R GIZ E YO U R SE NSE O F F U L F I L L M E N T
59
organize itself naturally, and guides you so that you can
return home again. It honors the essence of you, and
directs you to where you need to go.
A part of living The Choice is realizing that life is
fundamentally good and so are you. When you live
The Choice, the integrity of being will take you home.
It will start a healing process that allows you to be true
to yourself. You will realize that life is a journey and
the challenges you faced were obstacles that you had
to overcome. They were what allowed you to expand
yourself, become more inclusive, and compassionate.
Trust yourself.
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T H E P OW E R TO R E E N E R GIZ E YO U R SE NSE O F F U L F I L L M E N T
the guilt and the worry in your life, you engage with it,
you get more of it. This does not mean that you should
stop planning for the future or stop taking responsibility
for your past actions. It means that the tendency for your
attention to be consumed and drawn into the past or
drawn into a future that you anticipate is fading away. You
are present to life. You are present to being, and worry and
guilt are no longer consuming your attention.
61
When you live The Choice, youre already fulfilled, you
dont need more. So you can say, I dont need that. It
is not that you dont have the money to buy it, but you
dont need to buy it in order to be fulfilled. You now ask
yourself the questions:
Is the purchase purposeful?
Is it purposeful inside of my commitments?
If the purchase is not purposeful, then it is just a
default way of being, and you can now let go of your need
to buy it.
Sometimes it is all right to buy something that is not
purposeful, as long as it is within the boundaries of your
financial integrity and it is something that you do once in
a while.
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T H E P OW E R TO R E E N E R GIZ E YO U R SE NSE O F F U L F I L L M E N T
63
circumstances, you will notice a shift that lets you gain
more access to the changes you would like to occur in
your life. This is the first step in a new awareness, where
life manifests as you are.
64
T H E P OW E R TO R E E N E R GIZ E YO U R SE NSE O F F U L F I L L M E N T
65
8
THE POWER TO RAISE YOUR
LIFE TO A HIGHER LEVEL
OF INTEGRITY
67
get motivated. Hesitations disappear and you cant wait to
tackle whatever lies ahead. You ask yourself, What else
havent I done that I said that I would do? And when you
find the answers, you immediately take them on.
You have more clarity and every word you say now
actually means something and gives you a reality that
you care for. You notice that something is shifting in your
relationship to language itself. You feel more wholesome,
and your word matters again.
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T H E P OW E R TO R AISE YO U R L I F E TO A H IGH E R L E V E L O F I N T E GR I T Y
69
Setting boundaries
If youre a giver, it may be difficult for you to set bound-
aries. When you dont set boundaries, your energy is
drained, because people take advantage of you. If you try
to set boundaries, you may find that you have to explain
or defend yourself. Whatever you say or try to do, you
compound the situation and remain stuck.
In living The Choice, you are now committed to
being happy, fulfilled and satisfied, no matter what. You
have a new and strong sense of wholeness, and are less
concerned whether or not you are liked. Instead, you are
protective of your new sense of togetherness, and now
have the strength to decline a request that you believe is
not in your best interests.
You now say,
I decline.
Why?
Because I do.
In living The Choice, you raise your life to a higher
level of integrity, which gives you the power to decline a
request that is going against yourself.
Similarly, you no longer feel that you dont have to say
yes when you actually would like to say no. You are
now able to say what you mean, and mean what you say.
You have the strength to say no, when it is not really in
your heart. You have the power to say what feels right for
you without taking a position or provoking an argument.
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T H E P OW E R TO R AISE YO U R L I F E TO A H IGH E R L E V E L O F I N T E GR I T Y
71
9
THE POWER TO BE PRESENT
73
Learning a new language
You notice, to your surprise, that in being more present to
life, you have become straighter in your communication.
You are coming into language in a new way. Now words
pour forth you have never uttered before!
At the same time, you are compassionate with yourself.
You realize that you are in the early stages of learning a
new language for life, and you are allowed to make silly
mistakes. Be compassionate with yourself.
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T H E P OW E R TO B E P R E SE N T
75
When you live The Choice, you will notice to your
pleasant surprise that the inner chatter and noise
subsides. Youre more able to think clearly and focus
on the tasks at hand. You quickly realize that you live
the majority of your life inside the chatter of adding
meaning to your life, believing that the chatter is your
life. The inner chatter is not your life; it is just chatter.
The inner chatter in your life is now quieting down. You
are more present.
You come to realize that probably nothing has any
intrinsic meaning, and the meaning we experience is
what we create and is ultimately a choice we bring to life.
This does not mean that people and things in your life
are not meaningful to you. It just means that the chatter
that we sometimes engage withwhich can drive us
madis quieting down.
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T H E P OW E R TO B E P R E SE N T
think that you should ask for other peoples advice before
you act. Sure, you appreciate when people contribute to
you and give you their opinions, but you no longer need
to be dependent on them.
Savoring silence
The Choice heightens your senses and enriches your
experiences. Colors seem brighter, food tastes better,
aromas smell amazing. Did you notice that it is not what
you see, but it is the silence that carves out what you see?
77
of life and a sacredness that is beyond any
thought.
78
10
THE POWER TO BE GRATEFUL
79
Gratitude for what you have
In life, we tend to be greedy, never satisfied, and always
wanting more, no matter what you accumulate. Ultimately
it gives you no peace. In contrast, The Choice makes you
appreciate and feel grateful for what you have. You dont
focus on what you dont have, and are no longer always
compelled to strive for more.
When you are grateful, it quiets the noise. You feel
satisfied, content, and thankful. It leaves you in a peaceful
state of enjoying the silence of being.
Expressing gratefulness for what is happening in
your life does not mean that you are stuck with what is
occurring, give in to them or give up on your commitment
to enhance the quality of your life. It means that you
now fully embrace and acknowledge the existence of
your current circumstances inside of your trust in life,
which allows for a new openness, and for life to come into
presence in a new way.
80
11
THE POWER TO
BRING GRACE TO LIFE
81
Trusting life
Losing my dream and having to declare bankruptcy
would have devastated most. Although it definitely
hurt, it did not take away from me the joy of life,
my trust in life, and the sense of being profoundly
connected to life that stayed with me in the many
interactions I had with people.
As I saw my life going down the drain, I not only
accepted what life had given me, I went one step further,
I embraced it and was grateful for it. Rather than feel-
ing sorry for myself, complaining, awfulizing, or being
immobilized, I expressed gratitude for what was occur-
ring in my life; I gave thanks for it every day. Although it
was not what I wanted or how I envisioned my life would
unfold, I trusted life. I declared that this unexpected turn
of events was a blessing. And grace came into my life.
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T H E P OW E R TO B R I N G GR ACE TO L I F E
83
12
THE POWER TO EVOKE
SYNCHRONICITY
You are one with the universe, and are part of what
85
is. You are participating in the synchronicity of the
universe, and, therefore, synchronicity now unfolds
in your life.
You feel good about yourself and life.
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T H E P OW E R TO E VO K E S Y N CR O N I CI T Y
87
PART TWO
r
THE INSIGHT
13
SEEING THE LIGHT
91
The Insight is the expression of The Choice but viewed
from a different perspective. If you dont make The
Choice, youre less likely to have The Insight. Although
The Insight is distinct from The Choice, the two are
inseparable because the commitment you make in The
Choice enables you to have The Insight.
When you live The Insight, hidden treasures of being are
unveiled, wisdom that you previously couldnt see. They
were hidden by the demands of your life and how you lived.
Living The Insight is a powerful passage that enables
you to be free in the face of your daily issues and concerns.
It gives you a true understanding of who you are, and
provides you with a new sense of what is possible in life.
The Insight opens your world and allows you to grow.
92
SE EI N G T H E L IGH T
more clearly and as they really are. It leaves you free to be,
and changes the way you look, think, and act.
93
14
HOW DO I LIVE THE INSIGHT?
95
Upset
Sad
Frustrated
Trapped by life
Overwhelmed
Stressed
Consumed
Immobilized
Argumentative
In denial
Exhausted
Affirmations
Im sure that you know how affirmations work. You
take important messages, print them, and put them on
your fridge, your bedroom mirror, above your desk,
or other places that you frequently see. The idea is to
surround yourself with reminders of ideas that you
want to keep alive.
I find that affirmations work well for me. So, I recom-
mend that you print the following affirmation and post it
on a place or places that you often see.
Heres what you should post:
The Insight:
96
H OW D O I L IV E TH E I NSIGHT ?
97
15
SHIFTING TO A NEW
PERSPECTIVE
99
The Pearls of Wisdom are:
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO:
BE RESPONSIBLE
BE FREE TO BE
BE FORGIVING
100
16
THE POWER TO BE
RESPONSIBLE
101
Things that you previously were oblivious to, dawn on
you. You experience more of a freedom; life is no longer
happening to you, but from you. You feel more in charge
of your life. You discover a world beyond the horizon you
are looking at.
Living The Insight, you come to realize that ultimately
you are one hundred percent responsible for your experi-
ences. That responsibility now no longer is a burden, but
gives you a freedom to be.
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T H E P OW E R TO B E R E SP O NSI B L E
103
It was just a well-meaning, innocent comment, I think.
How could she say all those terrible things to me?
Then The Insight reminds me that she is not
upsetting me. People or things dont cause or have the
power to upset me, but I do. In our birth language, we
think that people and things cause us to be upset, but
in living The Insight we realize that isnt the case. We
are responsible for how we experience life, including
our upsets and hurts.
Setting ourselves up
At times, we get upset because of what we bring to par-
ticular situations. Frequently, we set ourselves up to be
upset. We come with beliefs and assumptions that kept
our feet nailed firmly to the ground. We may be grumpy,
frustrated, or disappointed because we didnt get some-
ones approval, agreement or the reaction we sought or
expected. And instead of taking responsibility for how we
feel, we lash out or are unkind to others.
Often, we mistakenly attribute the source of our
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T H E P OW E R TO B E R E SP O NSI B L E
105
that the madness has on you. It puts you in a place where
you are free to be and free to choose. What a feeling of
freedom! You realize that you can transcend aspects of
yourself that, at times, make life ugly.
Learn from your mistakes. Its like when you learn a
foreign language: youre going to make mistakes before
you become fluent. The trick is to learn from those
mistakes and try not to repeat them. The same holds true
in learning in A New Language for Life. Embrace and
celebrate the mistakes you make when you try to develop
new capacities. Expect it to take time and practice. Be
patient, and kind to yourself and your partner.
Realize that mistakes are just a part of your humanity,
which you can now acknowledge and embrace.
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T H E P OW E R TO B E R E SP O NSI B L E
107
Your language now shifts. It shifts from a language that is
accusatory to a language that expresses responsibility and
allows for what is occurring in your life. Now, you can
move forward, create your own destiny, and realize the
full potential of who you truly are.
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17
HAVING A TRUE SENSE
OF WHO YOU ARE
109
from our true nature and the source of life. It prevented us
from understanding who we actually are and how we are
interconnected with all people and things.
In its own realm, the realm of cause and effect that
we encounter in everyday life, our birth language works
perfectly. The language of I is very effective in the
visible world. We use the language of I to get around, to
orient ourselves. It allows us to think in linear terms and
to experience life in the present, the future and the past.
It helps us navigate through life.
110
H AVI N G A T RU E SE NSE O F W H O YO U A R E
111
you noticed that early in the morning, during silent
interludes, you often have a different sense of time? Dur-
ing those periods, the present seems to merge with the
past and the future into a sense of eternity and infinity.
When this occurs, a profound sense of peace, and a new
sense of connection and togetherness with life takes over.
112
H AVI N G A T RU E SE NSE O F W H O YO U A R E
I claims being
The I can interfere. You could say that I sometimes
claims and obscures being. When I was writing this book
and had a new insightespecially when I believed it
was an important insightthe inner chatter of I was
waiting on the sidelines to take over and bring self-
importance to what just inspired me, thereby obscuring
it and attempting to steal being away from me. The
only way I stayed centered was by reminding myself that
writing comes through me, but is not of me.
113
you are fully experiencing and enjoying life. Suddenly,
you get it. And when you get it, you feel a connectedness
to all of life. You are not one or two things, you are
everything and everything is you. You are not the I that
keeps you stuck in the content of your life and brings you
in a space of separateness with life. You are the space of
connectedness to life. You and life are one.
The experience of oneness, of being one with all life is
an awareness that is very profound. This understanding
changes everything. It changes the perspective from
which you view life. It changes the perspective that you
bring to your life.
Once your connectedness is revealed to you, you cant
go back. You cant throw what was hiding from you back
in the river of forgetting. Your innocence is lost. Nothing
can be the same. Its a life-changing moment.
When the veil from your life is lifted, and the I
has lost its hold on you to draw you into a space of
separateness with life, you are present to a silence, where
life is unveiled to you as it is. You are in a peaceful place.
You are reminded of something that you have always
known but have simply forgotten.
Life is really quite simple, and we tend to overcompli-
cate it.
You may then become fascinated with how the I
distracts you, tempts you, and tries to seduce you like a
siren-song into self-importance and preoccupation with
the world it brings about. You can now see the I for
what it is. You can now just let it be.
114
H AVI N G A T RU E SE NSE O F W H O YO U A R E
I is no longer an excuse
As the Is lose their grip on you, you awaken to
new possibilities. You eliminate many of the limiting
statements that you said to yourself, such as I cant, Im
stupid, I am not good enough, I am too old and I
dont deserve it. You realize that these phrases are simply
excuses that will no longer keep you from trying new
things and fully enjoying your life.
115
Embracing your humanity
We can only accept and embrace our humanity and bring
grace and understanding to those aspects of ourselves
that separate us from life A New Language for Life is
not about getting rid of I, or coming into any kind of
passive nihilism. Rather, it is about exploring what allows
us to transcend the limitations that language has placed
on us and restore ourselves to oneness of beingthe
place of authentic happiness.
116
18
SEE EVERYTHING
AS IT ACTUALLY IS
117
No longer allowing yourself to be victimized by what is
In living The Insight, you now experience the true nature
of things. You realize that reality just is, independent of
what you demand or insist upon. You see things as they
are. You are now developing a capacity to just be present,
and you can now choose to enjoy it, rather than allowing
yourself to be victimized by your opinions and beliefs.
Instead of dreading rainy days, look forward to them.
When they come, jump on the opportunity to change
your routine. Stop, pause, and enjoy the downpour. Put
on your boots and your raincoat and go out and romp in
the rain. Feel the raindrops on your skin, appreciate the
glistening glow it casts, and listen to the music the pitter
patter of the rain brings to life. Allow yourself to be fully
immersed in the experience. Get sopping wet.
A lightness of being
Living The Insight, there is a lightness of being. Some of
the heaviness in your being is lifted, now that you are
letting go of the ongoing demands that you tend to place
on reality.
118
SE E E V E RY T H I N G A S I T AC T UA L LY IS
119
19
ACCEPTANCE OF LIFES
IMPERMANENCE
121
the person has decided to move on. What we value and
are accustomed to, often occurs to us as staying there
forever and remaining the same.
Allowing for the impermanency of life allows you to
embrace the natural unfolding of life and be open to alter-
native solutions. Your language becomes less accusatory
and you are less likely to be immobilized when sudden
changes strike you. In trusting life, you now hold what is
occurring in your life as fundamentally good, which gives
you the strength to be with what is occurring, allow for it,
be at peace with it, rather than condemning it.
You know that life is fundamentally good, and that
you are big enough to handle the change, and surrender
to it.
Allowing
If I am willing to embrace what is happening in my life, if
I welcome it, and in fact, express gratitude, which is the
highest expression of my integrity in relationship to life,
then I am open to the unfolding.
Allowing for the experience, rather than resisting what
is occurring, brings me to the other side of it. Allowing for
experiences, regardless of how uncomfortable they may be,
those experiences suddenly turn around and come to me
in a new way and I notice that I have changed in the way I
am perceiving and dealing with the experience.
Then, my allowing for the experiences, rather than
resisting, reveals the treasures that were hidden in the
unfolding.
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ACCE PTA N CE O F L I F E S I M P E R M A N E N CE
123
And, he was a marvelous father. Had he been
the only person on Earth to die, then I would
be profoundly sad.
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ACCE PTA N CE O F L I F E S I M P E R M A N E N CE
125
you to live your life with delight and enchantment, each
moment of the day.
Living A New Language for Life allows you to accept
the impermanence of life and come to peace with the
mystery of life. It lets you live life with a lightness
of being.
126
20
THE POWER TO EXPRESS
YOURSELF AUTHENTICALLY
127
the interior of one person to the interior of the other one.
When you live The Insight, the I becomes transparent
and you are communicating from a different place. You
are now coming from a place of oneness of being, and
communication becomes an exciting and participatory
experience. Instead of just exchanging information, you
are participating in a shared experience that lets people
know who you truly are, what you think and feel. You
also give your partners the same opportunity. Your
conversations are more honest and revealing. They bring
forward the essence of who you are.
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T H E P OW E R TO E X P R E S S YO U R SE L F AU T H E N T I C A L LY
129
Being real with people
When you feel that its crucial for you to be liked, or
you want to avoid disapproval or upsetting people, its
impossible for you to be honest and authentic with
others. You may withhold information or an opinion,
color it, and not fully share. These self-imposed
constraints are usually byproducts of our birth language,
and can be really hard to break.
In living The Insight, you realize peoples reactions do
not have the inherent power to limit your self-expression.
Your commitment to being present in life is larger than
your need to be liked. The Insight causes you to realize
that disapproval wont kill you or ruin your life. Youll get
over it and survive. When you stop worrying about how
others will react, you start sharing more of yourself. You
let people see who you truly are.
When you feel that you cant fully be yourself, your
underlying resentment festers. You become dissatisfied
with life. Usually, you try to fill this void with external
objects or diversions that ultimately make you feel even
emptier. They dont fill your need to be authentic.
When you live The Insight, you dare to communicate
what you think is important. You give yourself permis-
sion to speak up and take more risks.
Express yourself authentically and be real with people.
This is what allows you to be true to yourself.
130
T H E P OW E R TO E X P R E S S YO U R SE L F AU T H E N T I C A L LY
131
21
THE POWER TO BE
FREE TO BE
133
force. Whatever you focus your attention on gets ener-
gized, expands. Sometimes what you felt was a solution
was not, and instead, made your problems even worse.
In order to release yourself from your entrapment and
experience an authentic freedom to be, the following
three steps may prove helpful:
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T H E P OW E R TO B E F R E E TO B E
135
v Allowing restores you to the oneness of
being, which in turn, releases you from your
entrapment and allows you to see the world
from a true perspective.
136
T H E P OW E R TO B E F R E E TO B E
A new perspective
Living The Insight broadens your perspective, how you
view your life. You feel more freedom to be. You start to
interrupt habits that you never examined or were unable
to challenge.
It helps with routine tasks and obligations. When you
do housework or necessary tasks, you experience more
of a freedom. You have stopped cleaning your house just
for the sake of doing it. You are still cleaning your house,
but you are no longer run by a belief that you have to
clean, whether it needs doing or not. Things around you
lose their demand. You can let things be. You clean your
house because you want to, not because you have to. This
change in perspective gives you the power to do more of
what you enjoy or what you find purposeful, rather than
you believe you should.
137
the I, and keep you further stuck. Trying to work
them out only delays your freedom and extends your
imprisonment. When you deal with your guilt and worry,
you engage with themyou get more of them.
Now, Im not telling you to stop planning the future,
to stop taking responsibility for your past actions, and
learning from your mistakes. But dont let your attention
be consumed by the past, which you cant change, or a
future that you anticipate, but that may never come to be.
Take command. Exercise your choice on how you
experience life.
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T H E P OW E R TO B E F R E E TO B E
Let people be
I find it difficult to let people beespecially those I care
for and love. Sometimes, I tell them what to do, which
doesnt help our relationship. When I started writing this
book, I felt excited about ideas that came to me. I couldnt
wait to share them. I thought that they could help some
of my friends, and I was probably a bit overbearing when
I spoke with them. Although I truly hoped to make a
difference, it sometimes had the opposite effect.
Be a people whisperer and let people be! Give them
space. Youll be surprised how quickly they become
drawn to what youre doing or what you have to say. You
cant give someone else an insight; they have to get it by
themselves. The moment I backed off and let my friends
be, they became curious and interested in my ideas.
Allow people to be
At times, we walk into touchy situations. Someone may
be edgy, upset, or simply in a terrible mood. If you try
to cheer them up and ease the situation, it often makes
things worse. Frequently, they find your efforts annoying
and take it out on youin spades!
139
When you allow people to be, the intensity of their
feelings usually fades. It may take a few moments or even
a little while, but if you give them room, their irritation
will pass. When it does, you can enjoy being with them.
By letting people be, you bring grace to the relationship
and strengthen it.
Letting things be expands your capacity to allow for
what is occurring in your life. It allows you to be more
accepting and understanding. It also softens the impact
of triggers that used to upset you. Instead of complaining,
criticizing, and rejecting, you now react less intensely and
become more present and tolerant. When you let things be,
your language for life becomes gentler and more whole-
some, you become more compassionate and considerate.
Forgiveness, understanding, allowing and generosity now
come naturally to you. You feel more peaceful.
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T H E P OW E R TO B E F R E E TO B E
141
created the problem in the first place. So any attempt
to get out of your predicament from the language that
created it, will only make it worse.
As a teenager, I thought that events that occurred
earlier in my life were the reason I stammered. I read
everything under the sun to find out why I stammered. I
also made up a story to explain why I stammered. It was
a good, plausible story, but stammering continued being
an issue for me.
What ultimately set me free was my willingness
to take responsibility for my life and stop looking
for explanations. I mustered the courage to stammer
openly, rather than resisting or trying to avoid it. My
willingness to take a risk, live with discomfort, and
confront my fears ultimately turned the tide. It enabled
me to find my voice in life.
When you live The Insight, you realize that allowing for
what is occurring in your life and taking responsibility
for your experience is what sets you free. You become
willing to take risks that confront your fears, and you
give yourself permission to not ask why.
142
T H E P OW E R TO B E F R E E TO B E
143
22
THE POWER TO BE
FORGIVING
145
Our self-assessments undermine our being. They
can cause us to get sick or be at dis-ease with ourselves.
The criticism that we pile on ourselves can paralyze us
and cause us to stop exploring life, even avoid life itself
in order to prevent us from making mistakes. How
silly is that!
When we rate ourselves and our whole being, we lose
focus. We become self-centered, rather than problem-
centered. We separate ourselves from who we truly are
and from the world, which prevents us from growing and
improving.
In living The Insight, you get present to who you truly
are. You realize that you are not this immobilizing self-
assessment, and it is just a habit that you have adopted,
which you are no longer committed to, and you can now
choose to ignore.
Let go of the burden of self-assessment. Celebrate who
you truly are, your magnificance. Youre not all the bad
stuff that you have been throwing at yourself all these
years. You are a beautiful person. You are worthy. You
can be fully accepting of yourself.
Letting go of resentment
When I moved to Australia, I started working in a small
country town as a medical practitioner. At the local
hospital, I encountered some issues that I thought were
unjust and were not in the best interests of the commu-
nity. I helped organize a town meeting to address these
146
T H E P OW E R TO B E F O R GIVI N G
147
Forgiveness takes courage. Its the ultimate statement
to the universe that you are serious about living your life
fully: letting go of your stuff. It sets being free from I,
and is the ultimate passage to a fulfilled life.
When you let go of your resentment, what arises natu-
rally is generosity and love. You are suddenly released
from what consumes your being and has been limiting
what is possible in your life. It frees up your energy. It
frees you up in your relationship with the people who are
part of your life. You are able to look beyond the horizon.
You now realize that there was really nothing to forgive
in the first place.
Letting go of your resentment, any resentment, sets
you free to be, which is the biggest gift you can give to
yourself, to others, and to life.
148
23
YOU HAVE THE POWER
TO TRUST YOURSELF
AND DREAM
149
handle your daily challenges. You are less scattered,
hesitant, and unsure. You reclaim your being at a funda-
mental level of integrity that you may have lost. You now
know that all is well, and you can be at peace.
When you trust yourself, it gives you courage. You
make quicker, more assured decisions. You now have
the courage to trust the unfolding of your life, no matter
where this leads you. You fully embrace your life as it
unfolds on this unfamiliar path that is made by the
walking. You know that you can trust each step you take
on this unfolding journey and path of healing. You are
your own reference.
This is true integrity.
Dreaming freely
Living The Insight, you have expanded your sense of what
is possible. You now have a natural inclination to expand
your horizons and explore what is possible in life. As the
Scottish mountaineer, W.M. Murray, wrote in his diaries,
150
YO U H AV E T H E P OW E R TO T RUS T YO U R SE L F A N D D R E A M
151
Internet dating site. Fortunately, I had recently posted
my picture and profile on the Internet. Francesca saw my
profile and contacted me.
We exchanged emails and then I called her. We had an
immediate rapport. We talked for an hour and giggled
like primary school kids. I asked her when she could visit
me in Los Angeles. When she said within two weeks,
I replied, Why not tomorrow? She agreed to travel
to Los Angeles in a few days. Fifteen minutes after we
met in Los Angeles, I told her that I wanted to ask her a
question. She said that she already knew what I wanted
to ask, but she wanted to hear it from me. I asked her to
marry me. That was in 2002, and we, with our daughter
Carmen, are a happy, loving family.
152
YO U H AV E T H E P OW E R TO T RUS T YO U R SE L F A N D D R E A M
153
24
ILLUMINATING THE
DIAMOND OF BEING
155
Shifting into A New Language for Life allows for
the diamond of beingYouto fully shine in all your
wondrous splendor.
156
PART THREE
r
TRANSFORMING YOUR
CURRENT REALITY
25
AWAKENING TO
A NEW AWARENESS
159
You notice that:
You trust life and allow for life. You hold what is
occurring in your life as fundamentally good, which
160
AWA K E N I N G TO A N E W AWA R E N E S S
161
26
LEAVING THE MOUNTAIN
163
of being. The experience of enlightment is hard to retain
when you havent broken your old habits because they
will displace your newfound awareness.
You now need to bring this new awareness to your
habits. The habitual way of being will now show itself in
your new awareness. When you are present, you will now
notice your behavior. You will be amazed by all the things
you have been doing repeatingly that you disagree with,
or realize are not you. You can now genuinely say: Do
I really want to continue with this? This is where your
journey really starts.
Now, your challenge is to incorporate your new
awareness into your daily life. As you do, that awareness
will replace those old habits you no longer want. Remain
conscious of your new awareness, continually remind
yourself of it, because your old patterns may be deeply
entrenched. Focus on making your new awareness a
central part of your life. Be steadfast, disciplined, stand
tall, and dont waver during the storms of life.
164
L E AVI N G T H E M O U N TAI N
Set boundaries.
165
PART FOUR
r
TRANSCENDING YOUR
CURRENT REALITY
27
RECLAIMING THE POWER
OF LANGUAGE
169
the world order is in a state of flux, we quickly discover
that the old ways of going about life no longer work very
well. We realize that our current problems cant be solved
at the level they were created. The current crises reminds
us that there is nothing permanent in existencethe true
nature of life.
When our familiar solutions no longer work, its
time for us to take a new look at ourselves and how
we deal with our challenges. Our current crisis is our
opportunity. Our willingness to rise to the occasion calls
upon us to bring awareness to our present limitations.
We can no longer rely on what is familiar to us.
Our birth language is a language of permanency. In
our birth language we are waiting for life to work out
and for others to help us when our circumstances are
tough. In the language of permanency, we expect society
to support us and provide us with opportunities for
employment. In the language of permanency, we expect
that life will stay the same.
170
R E CL AI M I N G T H E P OW E R O F L A N GUAGE
Trusting life
Einstein said,
171
When you hold life as friendly, when you trust life,
you align yourself with the oneness of life, and you get
in touch with the source of life. In trusting life, you may
think that you have relinquished control, but in fact you
regained control by aligning with life.
172
R E CL AI M I N G T H E P OW E R O F L A N GUAGE
173
birth language. Manifesting is not attracting, which implies
bringing something into your life that you perceive as
external to you. Manifesting occurs in the dimension
when the observer and the observed are one and the dual-
ity of existence no longer lives for you as a condition in
which you live, but as a mode from which you think.
Manifesting occurs in a space of allowing, where
you are one with life. This restores you to the oneness
of beingand language now no longer is descriptive in
nature, but manifests life as you are. You are now a clean
canvas. As the artist, you hold the brush of language and
are free to paint your version of life. You are now free to
manifest life as you dream it.
174
R E CL AI M I N G T H E P OW E R O F L A N GUAGE
175
v Dwelling in the space of fulfillment, lets
you dwell in the oneness of what you are
considering. You create a relationship with
what you are considering as if it already
exists, thereby making it available for you to
engage with as a presence.
176
R E CL AI M I N G T H E P OW E R O F L A N GUAGE
177
will respond to. Manifesting does not release you
from implementation.
178
R E CL AI M I N G T H E P OW E R O F L A N GUAGE
179
you shed the way of I, and you come into the way of
oneness. This is the place, where you, the caterpillar,
turn into a butterfly.
180
R E CL AI M I N G T H E P OW E R O F L A N GUAGE
181
SOME FINAL THOUGHTS ON MANIFESTING
You do not always recognize the power of language and
your responsibility in the way you think about yourself
and life. It is in the nature of language to manifest, but
what manifests is determined by the language and the
space you dwell within.
If you are dwelling in a space, or language that you
dont have enough, lacking is how the world occurs for
youwhether this is money or love in your relationships.
You feel you will never have enough, no matter what you
do. You will never be satisfied, no matter what. You will
always have doubt and be hesitant about the way your life
is unfolding. There will always be struggle and suffering
in manifesting your affirmations.
If you can recognize the space that you are dwelling
within, you can then be responsible for the way your life
unfolds. You can then choose any moment to manifest life
in alignment with the way of oneness and manifest the
power of language in your life.
182
R E CL AI M I N G T H E P OW E R O F L A N GUAGE
183
28
COMING HOME
185
in the relationship. It also may be hard for you to relate to
the people who have not taken your journey. In the dance
of life, your partner or spouse may be out of step with
who you are, and you may be out of step with them.
To avoid stepping on each others feet, try to bring
your partner along on your journey to A New Language
for Life. Share the experience, go through it together.
Besides building understanding, it will strengthen your
relationship.
Gentle advice
Be aware how I might interfere and seduce you to
become self-righteous in your newfound awareness. Or
it might tempt you to feel special in what manifests in
your life.
186
CO M I N G H O M E
B
e thankful. Set yourself free from your accomplish-
ments by expressing thankfulness for what manifests
in your life and for the abundance that is flowing
through you. Realize that the gift of what manifests
comes through you, but is not of you.
D
ont impose A New Language for Life on others. Nor
try to convert others to your new insights.
D
ont have expectations. Dont give someone you meet
the book with an expectation that the next time you
see them they have awakened to a new awareness.
Respect a persons uniqueness. Respect their choices.
D
ont correct other people, even if you believe they
express themselves in a way that does not align with
A New Language for Life.
D
ont brag when your heartfelt desires manifest. If
you do, you will be going against yourself.
B
e A New Language for Life whisperer.
Taking Responsibility
In order to share your new outlook with others, identify
how you related with them in the past. For example, was
your relationship centered around complaining, gossip,
or unhappiness? Or was it to help each other, advance
careers, or simply to enjoy his or her companionship.
Whatever it was, take responsibility for it.
187
By taking responsibility for how you related in the
past, you open channels for new levels of communication
that you can build upon. Through those channels you
can express who you have become, but ease into it. Dont
overwhelm them. Give people the opportunity to adjust
to the new you, to understand how you changed, and the
option to join you on your journey.
If you realize that you have been using complaints and
unhappiness to control a relationship, break that pattern.
Say to the individual,
Resistance
Despite all your efforts, your partner, friend, or colleague
may be resistant to the new you. He or she may be attached
to the old you; be threatened by the new you, or think that
you are just going through a phase, a temporary change;
and that you will soon revert to the same, good, old you.
When you change, people are often resistant because they
fear that you may have lost interest in the relationship or
that your behavior may no longer be predictable.
188
CO M I N G H O M E
189
taken years to forge. Before you let them fade or disap-
pear, think what you may be losing and removing from
your life. Dont break those connections unless you feel
you have no other choice.
190
CO M I N G H O M E
191
humanity and the realization that we are all profoundly
related. We realize that the I that separates us is not
personal. When we explore life and are able to see past the
horizon of the I, we wake up to our common humanity.
We are electrified by the possibility of being and under-
stand that anything is possible. It inspires our spirit.
Community building
If you are inspired, start your own A New Language for
Life project in your community. You could bring together
like-minded people, and invite them to explore life in an
environment of communication that is in keeping with
the spirit of A New Language for Life. Help them share
their common humanity, shift their language, and create
solutions for problems at the individual level, or commu-
nity levels that are based on responsibility, integrity, trust,
courage, giving, and serving.
192
29
REMAINING CENTERED
193
It is your job to remain centered in your new awareness
and to withstand the efforts of the I to draw you back
into a language of self-importance, self-righteousness, or
worse yet, self-invalidation, and victimhood. Return to
your commitment to life.
Move away from your birth language, and the messages
that dragged you down. Move to A New Language for Life.
It will free you by giving you direction and peace.
Take responsibility
Dont fall back into accusatory language. Take responsi-
bility. Dont say,
194
R E M AI N I N G CE N T E R E D
you cant shake off. You keep thinking about some recent
occurrence, mulling it over, invalidating yourself and
examining ad nausea. Asking yourself what you could
have done differently or better.
Weve all had those moments. They exhaust and deplete
us, and usually dont help us solve our problems. The
moment you engage with the noisetry to understand
it, argue with it, resist ityou get more of it. Instead of
quelling the noise, you feed it, give it nourishment, and
strengthen its life.
The art of living is developing the capacity to just let it
be. Trust that at some point, the noise will lose its hold on
you. My personal experience is that noise has a shelf life of
24 hours and then disappears. By staying still inside of the
noise, letting it be, and not feeding it with your attention,
it usually disappears within a day, and you regain true per-
spective. You have the power to decide where to put your
attention. By not giving noise your attention, allow for it, it
will eventually fade into the background and go away.
195
Trying to work it out often takes you away from being
centered in life. Some people go overboard. They spend
years trying to work it out. They buy every book, take
every course, type of treatment and advice, only to wind
up with their lives on a constant state of on hold. In
the process, they become separated from their friends,
family, and life. They lose their capacity to enjoy and fully
participate in life.
On the other hand, the best course with many
problems, is to sit back and let it be. Letting it be differs
from ignoring the problem. It allows you to be with the
problem, to give it time. In A New Language for Life, you
trust life, which gives you the courage to allow yourself
to be with the problem and resist the temptation to try to
work it out. When you allow yourself to be with it fully,
you notice, to your surprise, a shift in who you are in
relationship to the problem and how you experience it.
You have more freedom in relationship with the problem.
You become present to all aspects of the issue at hand.
Then, if you feel desperate or dont know how to proceed,
the problem will suddenly turn around and you will
see it from a new perspective. You will become present
to aspects of the problem that you never considered. A
clearer perspective will shine through.
196
R E M AI N I N G CE N T E R E D
197
ground where there was no path. The path comes into
existence only when you choose to observe it.
198
30
CHANGING THE DREAM
199
The eagle and the condor
The Achuar people are one of the worlds most remote
indigenous groups. They are an ancient dream culture
similar to Australias aboriginal people, and they live
in harmony within their ancestral lands. In the Achuar
prophecy, the eagle and the condor, the eagle represents
societies that are materialistic and scientific and the
condor represents more spiritual and intuitive societies.
According to the prophecy, when the eagle and the condor
reunite and fly together in one sky, human beings will
evolve into a more conscious species, and will live in
harmony with the natural world and with one another.
Today, many indigenous people believe that the time
has arrived, where there is the potential for the eagle and
the condor to fly together in one sky and for humanity to
awaken to a new level of consciousness.
In A New Language for Lifethe language of the
Heart the eagle is free to fly high and dance with the
condor in one skya dance that is wholesome, harmoni-
ous, and peaceful; a dance that gives rise to a conscious-
ness that is awakened to the oneness of life. In A New
Language for Life, we have the potential to awaken from
the dream of separateness, and awaken to the oneness of
life and the oneness of being.
200
C H A N GI N G T H E D R E A M
201
30
FINAL THOUGHTS
203
determines how we express ourselves. Our birth lan-
guage, which is mainly descriptive in nature, does not
give us a way of expressing ourselves that is true to
ourselves, and that is in alignment with our true nature.
Our birth language is no longer sufficient to meet the
demands of the new emerging era.
In the classical paradigm of our birth language, we
view ourselves within a duality of existence. We see our-
selves from a place of separateness, which is reflected in
how language expresses itself in the way we communicate
and relate to each other. It leaves the essence of who we
are untouched, and leaves us always in a state of striving
and being unfulfilled, no matter what the circumstances
of our lives may be. It leaves us not trusting ourselves,
vulnerable to peoples influences, and not being able to
be true to ourselves. The result is a perpetual state of
struggle and suffering.
204
F I N A L T H O U GH T S
205
In choosing to be happy, no matter what, you take
responsibility for your life and raise your life to a higher
level of integrity. Your language shifts, and you no longer
invest the I with the power to separate you and take
you away from the presence of life and your true nature.
In choosing to be happy, you transcend the limitations
that language places on you and you restore yourself to
oneness of beingno matter what.
A New Language for Life will make it clear how we can
make the most of the future. It is not a new belief system,
but an approach that will show us how to trust ourselves,
trust life, grow, and live happier, more productive, and
more fulfilled lives in alignment with our true nature and
the natural worldno matter what.
206
F I N A L T H O U GH T S
207
In A New Language for Life, you have the opportunity
to have a happy, prosperous life that honors the dignity
of the human spirit within the ecological limits of our
planet Earthno matter what.
Thank you for working to bring The Choice and The
Insight to your life. Thank you for changing the dream of
humanity!
ENDNOTES
Part One
1. From Hua Hu Ching: The Unknown Teachings of Lao Tzu,
by Brian Walker, published by HarperOne.
Part Two
2. From Albert Einstein, Letter of 1950, as quoted in The
New York Times and The New York Post.
3. From Beyond Good & Evil, by Friedrich Nietzsche,
published by Penguin Classics.
4. From The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, by W.H.
Murray, published by J.M. Dent & Sons, Ltd.
Part Four
5. From The World Is as You Dream It, by John Perkins,
published by Destiny Books.
6. From The Soul of Money: Reclaiming the Wealth of Our
Inner Resources, by Lynne Twist with Teresa Barker, published
by W.W. Norton & Company, Ltd.
7. Ibid.
8. Ibid.
208
THE NEXT EXPRESSION
A New Language for LifeThe Series
www.ANewLanguageforLife.com
209
APPENDICES
210
A P P E N D I CE S
APPENDIX A:
211
Wanting to change Letting be
Separate from life Connected to life
Restless Peaceful
Guilty, worried Assured
Wary, hesitant Trusting
Blaming others Taking responsibility
Narrow minded Open minded
Narrow focus Broad perspective
Need for stability Ability to be with uncertainty
Result oriented Process oriented and result
oriented
All business Playful
Scarcity Richness
Greedy Serving, giving
Unhappy Content
Material Spiritual
Comfort Growth
Disrespectful Reverence for life
Forceful Trusting, letting be
Controlling Inspiring
Effort Ease
Busy Measured
212
A P P E N D I CE S
APPENDIX B:
213
Able to be fully present. Authentic with other people.
Not living in the past. For him or her, the future occurs
as a possibility, not as limitations.
A good listener.
Inspiring.
Serving.
Humble.
214
A P P E N D I CE S
APPENDIX C:
215
You embrace and own your humanity. You transcend
the I as who you are. You have broken the spell of I.
The I no longer exists at the expense of being in your
life, but exists in the service of being.
In A New Language for Life, your language is not
accusatory, but expresses responsibilityIt is a language
of being, allowing, and oneness.
You trust life and allow for life. You hold what is
occurring in your life as fundamentally good, which
gives you the strength to be with what is occurring in
your life, allow for it, and be at peace with it, rather than
condemning it.
You see death as fundamentally goodnot as some-
thing to fear or condemn.
You view the interruptions in your life as the way of
the universe that will help you grow in your spiritual
essence.
You trust life to help you work out your problems and
concerns when you are aligned with the oneness of life.
You recognize oneness as the governing agency. The I
no longer is the ruling force in your life.
You have the power to manifest life as you are.
216
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
www.LouisKoster.com/contact
ABOUT EWALD EINODER
Go to
LouisKoster.com/bookgifts
LouisKoster.com/bookgifts
We Live in a World of Change-An Exciting New Era
To meet the demands of this new era, we too must change. In fact, we must radically change the way we
view ourselves. A New Language for Life is a new and innovative approach to how you view yourself and life.
When you commit to being happy-no matter what-A New Language for Life will:
Lead you on a pathway that will enable you to align with your true nature
Transcend the limitations that language has placed on you
Restore yourself to the oneness of being-the place of authentic happiness and higher awareness
This new awareness will enable you to reclaim the power of language and manifest your most
heartfelt desires.
,:E- A New language for life will show you how to transform your life from a place of higher
awareness, to trust yourself and life, and to experience an overall sense of peace and well-being
-no matter what.
,:E- A New language for life will help you eliminate depression, lethargy, stress, unhappiness, and
even ordinary bad moods. This clear, engaging book will provide direction for those who are stuck,
unsure, at cross-roads, or believe that there is more to life than what they are now experiencing.
Unlike other books, A New Language for Life builds on who you actually are-the essential you-so you
can be happy and reach your full potential, no matter what.
A New,anq11age ro1 l1fc Happy No Matter What: , , e t1rst bvOK publi,hed 1r A New,arq/lage ro1 l1fe ,ere'-
LOUIS KOSTER, MD, a distinguished humanitarian, served for over ten years as a
medical doctor for Doctors Without Borders and other humanitarian organizations
in trouble spots across the globe. He worked in war zones in Bosnia, the Sudan,
Angola, Liberia, with Afghan refugees in Pakistan, and Cuban refugees in
Guantanamo Bay. For his humanitarian efforts, Dr. Koster has received numerous
awards and has appeared on radio, television, and in the print media. During the
past decade, he has practiced medicine in Australia.