As your child transitions over the years, it is inevitable that they

will be adjusting as each year of college unfolds. As a parent,

knowing how to support your student in their development can
be hard to do if you do not understand what they are going
through. As a result, we hope that by knowing what to expect in
your students transitions, we will be able to help you in your role,
as you help your student, navigate through their college
experience overtime.

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT THROUGHOUT YOUR

CHILDS COLLEGE EXPERIENCE

Homesickness. College is fresh, new and exciting, but this

doesnt take away the sadness of losing ones old comfortable
way of life, friends, or family. Having to grieve the childhood that
they lost, mixed with starting a new chapter, takes time.
Individuals in these stages often result in wanting to isolate or
head home to where they can have familiarity.
Independence. If this is the first time your student is out on
their own, they may be overwhelmed with their new found
freedom. From doing their own laundry to making their own
schedule, balancing the day to day life tasks as a student can
provide a new sense of responsibility that promotes a healthy
challenge for individuals. Students in this stage may start to take
ownership of their new found adulthood and in return, show
confidence in their ability to manage their time effectively.

Fear. Stepping out into a new experience is scary and involves

risk. Because your student is risking the opportunity to potentially
fail and be rejected, they may need reassurance that they will
still be accepted if they do not meet expectations they set for
themselves, or that they obtained from prior relationships.
Whether it is getting a 4.0 their first semester, being student
body president, or struggling to enjoy their major, this feeling of
disappointing others or not meeting the cut can be daunting.

Loneliness. Not knowing many people can result in a good

problem: the need to make new friends! However, this problem
can create challenges, as this progression of building genuine
friendships can often be really quick or really slow. Regardless,
students need people who they can be themselves with and it is
important for them to accept that this process takes time.

Feeling Stuck. Navigating college can be quite challenging. With

technology on the rise, understanding how to complete daily
tasks such as paying a bill or even researching a topic for school
can be difficult. If you notice your student in this stage,
encourage them to ask for help!

Unsure how to study. Often times, knowing how to study in

college is something students learn while in college, not before.
Students who received high grades in high school, but are not
getting the grades they were hoping to in college may need to
adjust the time they put forth into their studying. If your student
is in this stage, encourage them to get a tutor or a mentor who
could help them learn strategies for studying that cater best to
their learning style. Having these foundational tools will, without
a doubt, benefit their academic experience.
Unsure of major. Students that come into college with a
particular commitment to studying a certain subject may slowly
realize that their desires have changed. This is normal and good,
as it surfaces their growth and development internally &
externally. Students in this stage need reassurance that it is ok
for them to feel unsure about what they want to do in life. A
helpful step for students in this specific phase can be met by
meeting with a career counselor. Career counselors are trained
specifically to helping students identify their future careers by
providing them with tools that will not only measure their abilities
and strengths, but what careers may be the best environments
for them to live out their strengths.

Confused About Their Identity. Often times students come

into college and hit a wall asking themselves who am I, really?
If you notice your child in this stage, do not worry. This is a good
thing, as it promotes your students ability to be the author of
their own life, becoming comfortable with themselves (physically
and emotionally). Overtime, this will solidify their sense of self
while allowing them to accept and appreciate differences that
they see in others, increasing their ability to make sense of the
world, ones lifestyle, sexuality, ethnic background, and cultural
heritage.
Highly Motivated. Does your child show a new interest in their
major, a particular student organization, or class? This is great!
When students show signs of personal interest in activities or
classes and show a strong commitment to their involvement, it
demonstrates that they have developed purpose. Developing
purpose illustrates their maturity and their growth in their
development and will serve as a platform for further development
down the road.

Developed Competence. Mastering and developing new skills

is an onramp for developing a sense of confidence. Students that
obtain a new understanding of something that didnt know they
were good at, might feel an increased persist on towards
anything that comes their way. If you see this development in
your child, be encouraged that this reveals their developed
persistence and that it can be catered towards helping them
persist on towards not only graduation, but future conflicts that
may come their way.

Solidified Character. Overtime, you may notice that your

student is much more flexible with their thinking, illustrating a
more humanized approach to their personal value system. If this
is the case, celebrate! Your student is developing integrity and is
in the process of acknowledging and accepting the beliefs of
others that differ from their own. This strong understanding is an
incredible sign that your student is developing the ability to
interact and partake in future relationships, social situations, and
communities in the near future.
CRITICAL STUDENT NEEDS IN ORDER TO
PRODUCE HEALTHY DEVELOPMENT
The need to matter. As human beings, we crave to feel valued,
and for college students it is not any different. If you notice your
student feeling their self-esteem decline, it could be because they
believe (whether it is right or wrong) that they dont matter. In
this case, individuals need environments and relationships that
can cater to their need to feel appreciated, that they have
importance, and that someone is proud of them. If your student
does not have these things, it could lead to an inability to perform
academically and socially.

The need for community. Is your child involved on campus? If

so, this is a good sign that they have an environment in which
they can develop a sense of belonging. Developing a sense of
belonging increases a students self-esteem and provides them
with a foundation to be known in community. Once students feel
that they belong in a group or community, their self-esteem
intrinsically motivates them to extrinsically act. This new energy
is a sign of healthy development and will cater towards their
ability to build authentic relationships over time.

The need to be challenged. Do you notice your student feeling

stagnant? It could be because they are not being challenged in
their academic or holistic development. Because growth happens
when students are outside of their comfort zones, it is important
to make sure that your student is being challenged in their
college experience. A great way to combat this is to encourage
your student to apply for a leadership position on campus. Many
times students who are involved with leadership positions with be
mentored by individuals who can not only challenge your student,
but provide the support that they need in order to grow
academically, as well as holistically overtime.
The need to be affirmed & confirmed. There will never be a
time when your student will not want your affirmation and
confirmation that they are worthy humans who are important and
valuable. In fact, they need to hear, not only from your, but from
fellow peers, mentors, and professors, in order to develop a
healthy view of themselves. One way to practice this for your
student is by affirming a strength you see in your student and
confirming how it will be useful for a future career, relationship,
or community.
Theories Used in this document:

Mattering & Marginality

Chickerings Psychosocial Theory of Student Development
Challenge & Support
Student Involvement Theory
Family Systems Theory
Hanging Mobile Theory

Questions for Lindsey:

What was the initial goal of this document and where will it be
used?
Does the content accomplish what you were hoping?
Should the content be in light of just freshman? Or students
throughout their freshman-senior year?
Do you want me to site the theories that were used in creating
the content?
How can I change it to meet the need that you were hoping to
accomplish?