SWEPT BY THE TIDE

DANNY ERIN

15 POEMS

1. Swept By The Tide

2. Ambushed Again
3. My Lonely Bed Awaits
4. Soul Debt
5. Deep Water
6. Whats Your Favourite Tree?
7. One Big Mistake
8. Safe In The Masters Hands
9. Endurance Tests
10. A Waste Of Breath
11. Misery
12. Three Words
13. Over The Edge
14. Woke Up Screaming
15. Mother Sea
SWEPT BY THE TIDE

Its usually on
an endless wet Sunday
when it gores into me
like a bull
that shes gone
forever,
no more
together
and I will never feel
so unbelievably good
again.

Learning how to settle

for this half-life
and most of it
merely a sham
because its not
with her.
Swept by the tide
to this point
and turning
to look back
on the best days.

Its usually on
an endless wet Sunday
when it gores into me
like a bull
that shes gone,
opens me up
and Im left
flattened and bleeding,
nothing I can do
except lie here
and wait
for the wound
to heal
again.
AMBUSHED AGAIN

Just when
you thought
it was all going
wonderful

hey,
you were actually
walking around
with a smile
on your face

without warning
youre tripped
and fall
into darkness

smile
replaced by
scream,
nightmare
replaces
dream

and you realise

God
has ambushed you
once again.
MY LONELY BED AWAITS

I woke
to no company
except lonely rain,
passed a
lonely mornin
watchin it fall,
spent a
lonely afternoon
walkin along
lonely rugged coast,
made my
lonely dinner
on my return
to my
lonely house,
drank my
lonely drinks
starin into
my lonely log fire,
took my
lonely drugs
and now
my lonely bed awaits.
SOUL DEBT

Bleak dismal days

when you
finally realise
that your
beautiful words
have been blocked
to the main audience,
no big time
for you dude,
no soaring
like an eagle
in unbelievable blue,
instead
condemned
to the endless struggle
through mire.

Bleak dismal days

when you
finally realise
that this
grim life
is mainly about
soul debt repayment,
punishment
will be inflicted
by the Creator,
old scores
settled by Him,
even though
youre never told
what you did
in a previous life
that was
so terribly wrong.
DEEP WATER

Most of the time

these days
in my shabby life
it feels as if
Im trapped
in deep water,
beneath
is a terrifying depth
of cold killing blackness.
I struggle
to stay afloat,
Christ
I dont want
to go down there
to the blackness.
Just when the last
of my strength is going
and Im starting
to sink,
a lifebelt floats by.
I grab it
and hang on,
panting
and exhausted
but at least
Im not going
down there
to the blackness.
I hang my head
and get my breath back,
rest a minute,
so relieved
Im not going
down there
to the blackness.
Encouraged
I raise my head
and look round
and in the distance
I see
a shark fin
heading
towards me.
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE TREE?

Whats your favourite tree!?

Is it:
the majestic Scottish Pine?
the leafy Weeping Willow?
the wondrous Silver Birch?
or the childrens favourite,
the magical Horse Chestnut?

Mine is
the mighty English Oak!
Enduring through history
from small acorn seeds.

Theres a magnificent Oak

in a nearby forest
and the Park Ranger told me
it was 200 years old.

Ive walked to it
many times
to admire
its grandeur.

Like today
when Ive climbed
halfway up it
and stood
on this sturdy branch.

One end of the short rope

is tied securely
round the branch,
the other end of the rope
is tied securely
round my neck
and now
I step off.
ONE BIG MISTAKE

I only ever made

one big mistake
in my
entire life
breathing in
for
the very first time.

After that
it was
all
downhill.
SAFE IN THE MASTERS HANDS

No man
no child
no woman
no creature
is safe
in the Masters hands.

Not life
nor love
nor joy
nor dreams
are safe
in the Masters hands.

Only death
and hate
and bleakness
and despair
only these
are safe
in the Masters hands.
ENDURANCE TESTS

When you reach

perceptive years,
you realise
that life
is just a series
of endurance tests
thats all.
Some youll pass
and come out
stronger,
some youll fail
and theyll break you
and youll
limp on,
changed forever.
But remember this,
no matter
how many
endurance tests
you fail
and how many
endurance tests
you pass,
youre guaranteed
to fail
the last one
and youll
never know
when it starts.
A WASTE OF BREATH

The years to come

seemed waste of breath,
A waste
the years behind.

Life is just
a waste of breath,
a pointless
pile of crap.
Gods revenge,
that is, karma,
is everything -
itll humiliate you
itll torture you
itll break you
itll have you living
in fear
in pain
in misery
because
it rules you.
Think you have
a free will?
Dont be
a fucking moron.
Youre allowed
to achieve
only what karma
permits you
to achieve.
And it permits
very few of us
to achieve
anything.
Look at your life,
you who are
reading this.
If you died today
youd be forgotten totally
by the world
in a couple of months,
apart from
your family.
And what have
you been
permitted to achieve?
Very little probably,
just like
most of us.
Sure there are
a few
who are allowed
success
but only
a few.
For the rest of us
its endless days
of pointless crap
till He, not you, decides
that your
fucking wonderful life
is over.
Fingers crossed
that its soon.
As Kurt said,
The finest day
I ever had
was when tomorrow
never came.
MISERY

People were created

for one main purpose
to have misery
inflicted on them.
If God had wanted
people to be happy
he would never
have subjected them
to this form of life
in the first place.
THREE WORDS

You could
sum up life
in three words -
a fucking nightmare.
If yours
hasnt arrived yet
dont fool yourself
dont get smug
it will.
Take it from me
it will arrive
when youre
least expecting it.
Just when
you think
everythings going
oh so wonderful,
so wonderful
that you could
scream with joy,
your nightmare
will arrive
and then
itll be
screams of pain.
Theres one thing
you can be
sure of
in this life -
sooner or later
your fucking nightmare
will arrive.
OVER THE EDGE

I am
over the edge
of this life,
clinging on grimly
with bruised and bleeding
fingertips.

Far beneath me
in seething blackness,
screams
muffled groans
agony.

I know if I
slide down there,
I dont
come back up.
Ever.

I am
deeply afraid.

Footsteps approach
above me
and halt.
Then
dark laughter.
I glance up
and see
a heavy boot
coming down slowly
towards
my aching
fingertips.
WOKE UP SCREAMING

Woke up
screaming
from night terrors

poured a drink
lit a smoke
with shaking hands

sat there
smoking and drinking
then started remembering
just how bad
things were for me
when awake

started
screaming again
from day terrors.
MOTHER SEA

You who were always

so afraid of drowning
now walk into the sea

first steps in
and small waves
break against
your legs

you wade out further

and the swell
breaks around
your thighs

you dont turn

to look back
because youre leaving
nothing behind

deeper now
out where
the slate grey sea
meets
the slate grey sky
but no fear
as small waves
break around
your face

then under
with eyes open

your first
deep breath in
stings
but there is
no panic
more deep breaths
follow
but there is
no fear

a final breath
then its over
so very quick
no more pain
no more emptiness
no more sorrow

you who were

born from the sea
have now
returned to it.